At Bad Girl’s Bible, we’re all about having the best sex you can and improving your life through that sex. So it should come as no surprise that we’re not strangers or opponents of the one-night stand. But we’re also familiar with the realities of casual sex, some of which may have stopped you from having casual sex in the past!
Quick Warning: While this tutorial video is quite distressing, it will teach you how to make your man scream with pleasure and become sexually addicted to you. If you are interested in having a man completely obsessed with you and only you, then check out the detailed (& explicit!) oral sex tutorial video here.
The good news is that a few precautions and a level head can make you a pro at casual sex. Just follow our advice below!
1. Someone Always Develops Emotions
If you’ve got a regular casual sex partner of you’re having casual sex with a friend with benefits – more on that here – then it’s common for you to run into the issue that one of you develops feelings for the other. If that’s you, you might continue having casual sex in hopes the same happens to him. When you’re on the receiving end of that affection, you might feel a little resentment because your sex buddy didn’t follow through on his end of the “deal.”
But in the real world, it’s incredibly hard not to be physically intimate with someone without having feelings develop. This is in part due to hormones such as oxytocin, also known as the cuddle hormone, which is released during and after orgasm.
2. You Feel Jealousy Even if You’re Not Attached
Some people will argue that you can’t feel jealousy over a casual sex partner if you don’t have other feelings, but this isn’t true. You can simply be jealous if you know he’s dating or having sex with other women because you want his sexual energy. Like having romantic feelings, having jealousy can ruin a good thing. Or it may be a sign that this agreement was too good to be true.
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3. It’s Hard to Talk About Boundaries
When it comes to casual sex, you’ve got to be able to set your boundaries. Let a guy know that it’s a one night stand, otherwise you could be leading him on. You should at least try to discuss whether you can cuddle or if he’s going to spend the night. And discussing the use of condoms or birth control is a must because you don’t want to play with your sexual health.
Here are some example rules.
4. Pinpointing STIs Can Be Hard
Even if you do use condoms, you might still get a sexually-transmitted infection from casual sex. Read about the symptoms in this post. Although it’s wise to have STD screening done after you’ve had sex with a new partner, this might not be easy to do if your sex schedule is busy.
So if you do discover an STI, you might have a long list of people who might have given it to you. That same list of people also needs to be notified of your STI status, which is never an easy phone call. And it may be impossible because…
5. There Are A Lot of Phone Numbers to Keep Track of
The more partners you have, the longer your contact list becomes. This might not be overly difficult if you don’t sleep with many people – or if you don’t keep their numbers. This former strategy certainly works, but this might lead to you receiving a message from someone who is no longer in your phone book who wants a booty call, and it’s even more embarrassing when the situation happens to you!
6. Slut Shaming from Other Women
Let’s say you do keep a digital Little Black Book of full men’s names and numbers – and perhaps some more naughty stats. What do you do when your sister, mom or best friend inquires about it? Perhaps you want to open up to some of your female friends about your nighttime escapades. But what if you’re faced with someone you weren’t expecting? Slut shaming!
In short, slut shaming occurs when anyone judges you for having sex that they deem “slutty.” You may have sex too often, with too many people or even the wrong kind of sex for another person’s moral beliefs. Unfortunately, slut shaming happens all too often, and you can even be slut shamed for walking, dressing or doing your makeup the “wrong” way.
Remember that another person’s morals aren’t the same as yours, and what they say doesn’t have to affect your life.
7. You Don’t Know if You Can Trust These Men
Your safety is of utmost importance, and having casual sex changes things. You might not know these men as well as you would know a serious partner or even a FWB. Consider a screening process before you hop into bed with them. A great option is grabbing a drink first at a local bar, where you’re known, to determine whether the guy is a total creep.
You might also set up a check-in call or text with a friend. Give her the picture, name and phone number of the guy you’re seeing. If possible, send over his address. If you don’t check in at the agreed-upon time, she can head over or even call the cops to make sure you’re okay!
8. It Can Be Difficult to Voice Your Needs
Some women have a hard time describing what it is they crave in the bedroom. This may be due to the fact that society wants women to be subservient more often than not. The result is lackluster sex, but why would you have casual sex if it’s not going to make your toes curl?!
So you’ve got to be able to ask for what you need every time, especially if you’re not well acquainted with the hunk you’re going to hook up with. This guide to sexual communication can help, even if you’re having casual sex. Plus, you needn’t worry if a stranger thinks your sexual desires are a little weird if you know you’ll never see him again!
9. He Might Have Weird Fetishes
When you’re in a committed relationship with someone, you’re more likely to try out pegging or spanking if that’s his thing because you care about him and want to make him happy. But you’re much less invested in casual sex, and if your favorite flavor of sex is vanilla, then you might not want to experiment with a man whom you don’t know well.
Plus, activities like BDSM can be potentially dangerous if you don’t fully trust your play partner, which is why BDSM contracts and safe words are so important.
10. The Sex Might Not Be That Good
Think about all the sex you’ve ever had that was sort of mediocre, awkward or even downright bad. Chances are, these were your first times with new partners and your first time having sex at all. The more you get to know someone, the better you get to know each other’s preferences and bodies. This is good when it comes to having great sex in a long-term relationship.
But it means casual sex might not be all it’s cracked up to be. Maybe chemistry, novelty and a sense of taboo can lead to the sort of high that means nothing can bring you back down, even not getting off. However, you need to be prepared that you might not get off. He may try or he may not even care. And if you’re someone who has casual sex with someone you meet at the bar, you might run into some whiskey dick, where the alcohol in his system prevents him from getting hard.
The reality of casual sex sometimes isn’t that sexy, which means this lifestyle isn’t for everyone.
11. You May Not Be Prepared
Even though you might never see him again, you probably want to knock his socks off. This means dressing sexy – read our guide to take his breath away – having your hair and makeup done and smelling divine! This may also mean shaving or other hair removal. If a no-strings-attached sex opportunity pops up quickly, however, you may not be fully prepared, and may feel sexual anxiety because of it.
12. You Can Feel Self-conscious About Your Body
When it comes to a partner who loves you, relaxing may be easy because you know your humor, intellect and other personality traits come into play. But when we’re talking about a one-night stand, if you feel a little jiggly about the middle or bloated because of hormones, this can really ruin your mood.
You can help to curb your body anxiety by remembering that you never have to see him again. Remember that while you might think this guy is drop-dead gorgeous, he also has his imperfections. And he’s likely more focused on whether he looks good and can perform to your standards. So give yourself a break and have fun!
When it comes to casual sex, you have to know and trust yourself, including your instincts. If something feels wrong, be prepared to walk away. Know that you won’t hit it out of the ballpark every time, but if you just need to scratch that itch, like to meet new people or aren’t ready to settle down, then we hope you’ll follow this advice to have amazing casual sex!
Watch This: Blow Job Tutorial Video
I put together this in-depth, step-by-step instructional video that will teach you how to make your man sexually addicted to you and only you. It contains a number of oral sex techniques that will give your man full-body, shaking orgasms. If you're interested in learning these techniques to keep your man addicted and deeply devoted to you as well as having a lot more fun in the bedroom, then you may want to check out the video. You can watch it by clicking here.