I grew up in a small town down south. You know the type. Stereotypical houses with well-cut lawns and sprinklers. Just like it looks on TV!
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Every Sunday was the same, get up and go to Church and then share dinner with my family that evening. I would have to listen to the Preacher talk about his morality and what he thought was right and wrong. Afterwards I would have to listen to my mom gossip with some of the other people in the town about everyone’s business. I grew up knowing what everybody else was doing in their private lives and I knew that everyone else in the town knew what I was up to also!
That’s why I could not wait to move out. To get away from all that bullshit and be able to do what I wanted to do, when I wanted to do it. I thought that was freedom.
It was only afterwards that I realized that even though I moved out, went to college, started partying all weekend that things did not really change that much.
My guy friends would always talk about whom they were having sex with and which girl was the best in bed. Who was ‘kinda slutty’ or which girl talked had the best dirty talk.
Then one day I met a girl I really liked. We made each other laugh and got on like a house on fire. I told one of my close friends about her and that I really liked her. And that’s when he said it. He told me she was one of the biggest sluts around.
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She was having sex with loads of different guys, she was a crazy girl in the bedroom, she was partying nearly every night. I couldn’t believe that my friend knew so much about this girl’s private business! I was now living in the city, with millions of people, thinking I was really cool but it was just like being back at home!
It got me thinking about what me and my friends meant when we called girls sluts.
I spent the longest time thinking about it.
A slut is a word that is typically used to describe promiscuous women and women that enjoy casual sex. It is a word that is exclusively used for women and it does not have a positive meaning (no matter how hard people have tried to change this!). It creates an image of a street hooker or a woman of low value. A guy who leads a similar lifestyle is called a stud.
So what is wrong with a woman who enjoys having sex?
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Are girls supposed to repress their desires while men fulfil theirs? That’s neither a fair nor a healthy attitude.
Traditionally when there were not as many opportunities in the world for girls in the workplace or in education, it was a good idea for a girl to keep guys chasing them for sex until they were married.
That way they would be looked after by their horny husbands who would put a ring on their finger to get in to their panties.
But this is 2013. The word slut is still pejorative but it has many different meanings:
- A slut may be a girl with low self-esteem and who has many psychological triggers. Her sexual urges or her psychological needs can be triggered off by alcohol or even just the attention of guy at a bar.
- A girl with a healthy sexual appetite but who has no time or need for a long term relationship may be called a slut by gossiping people.
- A prostitute who sells sex on the street may also be labelled a slut using the words definition.
These are all totally different women with nothing in common but they all seem to fit the broad definition of the word ‘slut’.
This shows the term is as subjective as the person using it. Ten in a month might be a huge number for one person but just a good month for another!
Leading a ‘slutty’ lifestyle is not all negative though!
[quote]What about being slutty, but only in private?[/quote]
Not all sluts go to parties and walk curbs.
Some people like the slutty lifestyle but only enjoy sharing it with their partner.
Most guys will admit they want a slut for a partner. Maybe not a slut that is having sex with his friends and neighbours but a girl who behaves like a slut just for him. No guy dreams about being with a girl who is boring and unadventurous when having sex. They want a girl who is willing to try new things and make him feel like a stud.
Sometimes you might hear a guy call someone a slut just because she knows more about what makes for good sex then he does. That’s his problem. A lot of guys dream about having a partner that has all the slutty characteristics that I will talk about later, but only for him. He would like a partner that is a slut for him.
Some couples enjoy BDSM and role play extensively with their ‘slutty’ lover. Other couples enjoy those fantasies too. What happens behind closed bedroom doors is their own business and if that’s what they enjoy doing then being a slut can only be a good thing because it helps you achieve the gratification that you crave.
Here are 7 great tips on how to be a better slut. These are seven ideas you can follow if being more of a slut feels like something you wish to try out or 7ideas that, if you can identify with, should help you to figure out if you are already a good slut. You can follow these tips at work, at the party or just in your house with your partner. It depends on what kind of ‘slut’ you want to be. Enjoy!
1. Sluts Seek Out One Night Stands
A slut may be someone that actively seeks out casual sex with either single guys or guys with wives or girlfriends. If you know a girl that goes to parties all the time with her friends and immediately disappears to go talk to a guy and then sleep with him, it’s safe to call her a slut. Some guys like these sluts because sometimes it’s nice to be chased rather than do the chasing yourself.
2. Sluts Don’t Always Wear Underwear And Mainly Wear Provocative Clothing
A slut can usually be identified by her clothes. If you can see that maybe she is not wearing any underwear in public then you may be sure she has some slutty tendencies. She may be doing it for lots of guys to see or else she is doing it to drive her boyfriend crazy and you just sneeked a peek by mistake but either way she is pretty slutty. It can give a great rush and make you feel not just slutty but super sexy.
The same can be said if she is wearing provocative clothing like a high boots or a tiny mini skirt or a really low cut top without a bra. Either way it’s a great way to indicate you may be feeling pretty slutty today.
3. Make A Sextape
Sometimes sex is so good you have to make a visual copy of it for posterity. Sometimes it can be a thrilling fantasy to pretend to be a famous pornstar. Either way, making a sextape with someone can be a pretty slutty act.
Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian both made one. That’s pretty slutty by itself but what really sets them apart is that they showed it to everyone. That is bringing slutty to a new level. Both tapes have been watched hundreds of millions of times by guys all over the world also. That shows you how much guys secretly love sluts.
4. Sluts Know The Best Sex Positions
Like I said earlier, a slut doesn’t have to be promiscuous or wear the slutty clothes. A slut can just be a slut in the bedroom and dress conservatively outside it. What happens in your bedroom is your private business. I have heard so many times from guys who brought a girl home and she “turned out to be a total slut!”
If you know lots of various sex techniques and positions you can drive all the slut loving men crazy. It’s up to you however who you share your knowledge with. (link to a positions post here from the site?) Check out the sex positions section for over 100 different sex positions to try out with your man.
5. A Slut Will Fit Her Time Around A Guy’s Schedule To Be Easy Or She May Be The One Who Initiates Sex
A slut never has sex far from her mind. That’s why a slut will typically give in to a guy’s desire for sex pretty easily. Another slut identifier can be that a girl drops any plans she may have to be with a guy as soon as he calls. She may arrange her free time around a guy’s sexual timetable. This makes her easy which is a huge factor in being slutty.
6.A Public Slut Will Sleep With At Least 2 Different Guys A Week
Sometimes being a slut is a numbers game. It’s like football. You can’t be a winner without hammering some high scores on the board. That’s why it can be essential for the outgoing or public slut to have sex with lots of different guys. If it is your desire to be called a slut and be known as a slut then you have to follow through, otherwise it will quickly get around that you are not a slut, you are just a tease! And that is a far worse reputation to get then being a slut because you can leave guys tortured and frustrated.
I put in 2 guys a week but as I was talking about earlier, the number is subjective. You may feel the need to be with 5 guys a week to feel like a slut, but that’s up to you. I just hope that you keep to a number you feel happy with and always use protection. Don’t forget, there are lots of ‘studs’ out there too and you should always be safe.
7. A Slut Gives A Lot Of Blowjobs
Sometimes, if full intercourse is not your thing a blow job is a perfect substitute. And a successful slut is a blowjob master. She will know all the best techniques and skills such as the ‘Tongue Squeeze’ and the ‘The Handyman’ and the ‘Sucker’. This can be achieved through years trial and error. But if you’d prefer to learn quickly, then you’ll find everything you need to know in this powerful blowjob instructional video where I teach you exactly what to do to make his back arch with pleasure.
In the end, it’s up to you what you define as slutty. Maybe you just want to be slutty for one guy, maybe for lots of guys. Maybe you just want to experiment for a little while with multiple different guys. It really doesn’t matter, the most important thing is to have fun, be safe and not worry too much what others think.
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I think blokes shot themselves in the foot with the whole slut shaming thing. As you rightly said, most chaps want a woman who is a slut for them, but women are that worried about being labelled a slut, they often hold back any potentially “slutty” behaviour. As an attack to protect the male ego, the term slut has been used to terrible effect. I think the world would be a much better place if men and women were more slutty and got over our insecurities!! x
How do you be a slut in the bedroom for your man? I don’t get what you can do that’ll make him see and think I’m being slutty
Suck cock. Seriously. Suck his cock like you’ve never sucked it before. Let him grab your hair and force you on it. Make him eat your pussy. Let him cum on your tits and in your mouth. Don’t be afraid of cum. Be vocal in th bedroom. Tell him you love his cock when he fucks you. Things like that. I’m trying to get my wife to do those things.
I couldn’t agree more. It is hard for woman to express their desires without being labelled a slut or easy. I am not a slut and being in my 30’s I only chose to sleep with a few men because I don’t give my body to just anyone and that gets me labelled as a ” good girl “.However, I met a guy in England and we hit it off but what ruined the relationship was my speaking freely of my sexual desires and my healthy sex drive and my wanting of sex just as much as him. So basically, woman can’t win either way and men really should get over themselves and grow up this isn’t highschool anymore , act like an adult!
Wow this is 2013 isn’t? This is a very archaic article! Surely women have sexually evolved past just pleasing a man in or out of the bedroom & seriously a sexually active female is still called a ‘slut’? I think learning how to sexually please a partner is healthy and mutually beneficial act, which I believe your trying to do! This article however just creates the stereo typing of women who enjoy sex once again, a plight that doesn’t seem to go away. I would of thought this was defeating the purpose of what I believe your blogs are intending, sexually empowering women in sexual techniques so that they & their male partners have pleasurable powerful sexual relations! Although quite possibly the name ‘bad’ probably already implies the sexual enjoyment imbalance of loving & enjoying sex when your a female.
I believe what the blog meant to say was that if doing/being those things means your a slut, then revel in it. I for one love any girl who can be a slut in bed. My gf is a slut for me (everywhere, not just in bed) and i absolutely love it, im always anxious to see her.
A lady in the street but a freak in the bed.
I’ll be whatever my man wants
I married one like you a bedroom slut (said with love) she is prim and proper accountant by trade can be a go getter close the bedroom door she does what ever I desire she surrenders her self but I must allways treat her proper and like a lady out side because she is !
What is the best sex position for a man that isn’t well endowed? We have problems feel each other enough during sex.
Hi Lori,
Although it requires a little flexibility, you should try the anvil sex position so that you man can get deeper inside you.
Sean
If a car and a cyclist race a mile and tie, I’m not giving the car the same respect as I will give the cyclist.
It is easier to be a slut than it is to be a stud.
What a load of crap. If a car and a cyclist race a mile and tie, only an idiot would give the cyclist more respect. Why? Simple, the car driver obviously has more self control and has more brains than the cyclist. Self control because she/he was nice enough to drive slow enough to allow the cyclist to finsih at the same time. Because there is nonway anyone one with at least one good neuron (brain cell) does not know that a car is much faster than a bicycle. Regardless of who the cyclist is and even if he was on steroids.
If you are a female slut, you are often ridiculed by others. It carries a heavy negative social stigma and often times negative consequences. While a guy that sleeps around is considered a stud and many look up to him. He is cool, a Casanova, a Don Juan, a player, etc. So who really has it easier, the girl that sleeps around and is trashed by ithers or the guy that sleeps around and is consider a player?
See, your little male brain doesn’t let you see past your nose. You are seeing sex with a woman as a throphy or metal acquired during a hunt. You are the hunter and women are the prey that are hard to kill. So the more of them you hunt down and kill, the studier you are. The better hunter. And the better looking the girl is, the bigger and better the kill.
Please, come out of your little player fantasy and join us in the real world.
This is awesome, I’m a very public slut and I wouldn’t want it any other way.I’m talking randoms, groups, glory holes, I’ve even done porn and I’m currently an escort. I give my body to any willing person who turns me on, any time, any place, and anyone who doesn’t like it just doesn’t have to sleep with me, but it’s my business. Slut shaming is so 1950’s. Guys always want to get laid, but then they’re always insulting any girl who’s willing. Dumb.
Your awesome!
I don’t insult women who are sexual I never understood what is wrong with a lady with a strong sexual drive besides a need women who can keep pace with me any one who can make my legs shake is a women I need I have found so much hypocracy with people who slut shame because I would ask them if male would you sleep with her and they would answer shure then why look down at her ? crazy !
Slut is archarcic, and usually on a condesendendinging note. Om very sensual and sexual with my man and whatever turns him on ultimately turns me on, however with all the diseases out there today I will not compromise my values and neither will He. We are both very religious people and slur goes against what we believe. If it works for you go got it, it’s not for us. Thanks
I really enjoyed this post.
I’m a classic “lady in the streets” or an “undercover slut” hahah. It is hard for women though, having a constant fear of being labelled a slut, and how it might affect your reputation in social and professional circles. As I was reading this article, I thought back to a couple times when I was much younger and comments were made to suggest that I was a slut. This was when I was 14, 15 years old, had not had sex of any kind, had not even touched or SEEN a dick. I felt really ashamed of myself though, which is an awful thing for a young, innocent girl to face. Of course now, I know better. I didn’t need to feel ashamed at all, I wasn’t a slut and I still am not. I am just sexual and I enjoy feeling sexy and teasing men. I’ve only had a couple of sex partners in my life. I think people who have issues with this are uptight, or have some misplaced jealousy, wherein they wish their own sex lives were more uninhibited.
Ok, just one thing, you realise being a ‘slut for one person’ is literally an oxymoron, right? Calling someone a ‘slut’ doesn’t mean they like sex, it means they have casual sex with a lot of people, and actively seek that out. When women sleep with a lot of people, we call them sluts.
(Obviously, some people just call out people as sluts when they haven’t even slept with anyone, but I think we all know that any insult can be used this way. Someone who gets called a slut for having male friends or enjoying sex is a tragedy, but this kind of thing does happen for all sorts of words. We throw around the word ‘bitch’, but that doesn’t mean the word is wrong and people shouldn’t use it, it means the people using them are…bitches XD)
When men sleep with a lot of people, they get called studs by OTHER men who sleep with a lot of people, and the rest of us call them sluts, or man sluts, or man whores, or alpha males. The only difference is for women, everyone agrees these terms are unequivocally insults. For men, there is just a subculture of sex hounds who everyone who isn’t involved with shames just as much as sluts.
Trust me ladies, ‘learning’ from the disgusting way a SMALL PERCENTAGE of men glorify the number of people they’ve been in bed with is not a good idea. Saying that men are celebrated for their sex lives but women are shamed for them so women should celebrate sleeping around is like saying men like getting smashed and trying to act masculine by king-hitting strangers, so women should be able to do that to, and be celebrated just as much.
There’s nothing wrong with casual sex, but some people – and rightfully so – find people who screw anyone and everyone distasteful. That’s where we get the insult of ‘slut’. When we call someone a ‘slob’, they don’t get indignant and say that leaving their clothes all over the floor and not showering for days on end is a unique and integral part of their lifestyle. Its an insult, it doesn’t define them, but it highlights a perceived flaw they have. When we call someone ‘greedy’, they don’t protest that we should respect their belief they deserve more than everyone else, and have no right to criticise them. Again, these are simply personality traits that most people judge detract, at least a little, from the value of a person.
We don’t see people trying to ‘reclaim’ words for insults based purely on the observation of behaviour for words like ‘slob’, ‘glutton’, ‘narcissist’, ‘show-off’ or ‘pessimist’, so why should the word ‘slut’ be any different? People don’t like something about you, they’ll find a word to call you. Don’t go trying to make it out like the insult is actually shaming some kind of sacred part of human nature.
And most of all, for Christ’s sake, don’t go implying someone can be a ‘slut for one person’. That’s called having a deep, engaging sexual relationship, it doesn’t involve sleeping with anyone and everyone, so its not slutty.
End of story.
I am 50,I am happily married since 2011-but I am a whore( I don’t sell my pussy)but I do fuck a lot of black men,The first black man that fucked me I work at Walmart in stockbridge,Ga he was my manager he fucked me in the break room,and boy did he fuck me,I cum 5 times in the first 10 mins he was inside of me,My heart was beating 120mph and my cum was flowing like a river and omg he cum in me deep and huge load,I have been hooked on black men with big thick dick every since,when I think about black men fucking me(2 or 3 times everyday,I post add on craigslist,I get lots of emails from idiots that cant read BLACK MEN ONLY,but I get black men who reply,I love meeting black men in the park after dark,I don’t wear panties or bra’s,I bend over the park bench,I can feel that black dick sliding in and out of my wet pussy,I always know when a black man is ready to cum in my pussy or in my ass,the head of his dick swells up,Then OMG he shoots a massive huge load,I love walking cum feeling his cum leaking out of my pussy.tammy
A Slut is a woman who has sex with everyone but you.