There is nothing like the first time you have sex in a new relationship. The first taste. The first nibble. The first lick. The first squeal of absolute delight. For most people, in the beginning of a new relationship, there is no problem with figuring out how to get in the mood for sex. It simply happens.
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At these early stages it may be impossible to think a time will come when the two of you won’t be horny and keen to jump into bed, especially if you are following all the tips in the Bad Girls Bible. Never you say? Maybe not but be perfectly honest, that spark does fade for most couples.
Is Your Sizzle Starting To Fizzle?
If you’ve noticed that the spark and intensity in your relationship has started to fade and it’s getting harder to get in the mood for sex when you man is already turned on, then it is time to do something about it and get it back. It’s not going to magically return overnight with these tips, but they will certainly help.
Here are 10 ideas that can help you get yourself in the mood for some hot fun at your house tonight!
1. Relax Reframe
Include massage in your life. Money thankfully doesn’t have to be an object as there are massage schools in most major cities where almost fully trained masseuses will massage you for free. Massage will help you learn what it feels like to be physically relaxed. The cool thing about body work like massage is that you are de–stressing without having to think about it. Getting in the mood for sexy times just doesn’t happen when you are stressed and exhausted. Massage will help you get ready for sex by relaxing your body. When you are relaxed, being turned on by your man is much easier which makes sex a lot more fun.
2. Luscious Lingerie
Invest in great undies and nightwear that you love. Don’t buy it to please anyone but yourself. I’m serious here. Spend as much as makes sense for you and your budget but buy something that makes you feel glamorous. Again, this is not for him. This is all about you. There is something very arousing about wearing a beautiful, barely-there gown or baby doll. Try it, you’ll be surprised at how much you get turned on by doing nice things for yourself. For more tips on dressing sexy, check out this article.
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3. Cuddle Candles
Think about getting a couple of sexy scented candles that are only used when nooky is planned. When you are having sex with your man, having a favorite fragrant candle burning will enhance the romance of the moment of course, but it will also set you up for getting turned on in the future. Your brain will unconsciously associate the scent with the pleasure you had and then next time you smell that candle, it will help to get you in the mood again. Scientific research even backs this up!
4. Randy Research
If you are struggling to figure out how to get in the mood for sex, then you’re in the right place. Luckily for you, the Bad Girl’s Bible has an extensive and intimate photo library of sex positions for your viewing pleasure. I highly recommend browsing it and discovering which pictures turn you on and get you in the mood. Which positions make you warm? Which ones turn you off? Knowing what actually turns you on and what turns you off is crucial to learning how to get in the mood for sex.
5. Porn, Porn, PORN!
No good discussion of how to get in the mood would be complete without a bit of porn in the mix. Watching porn with and without your partner can be very arousing. There are websites for women by women out there and I don’t think you would have any trouble at all getting your man’s attention with this little question, “Honey, do you mind if we check out this ladies porn network on line?”
You may learn a few things that you never thought of before. You might just find that watching other couples have sex is a big turn on for you. With that being said, some women just don’t enjoy pornography that much. The important thing is experimenting. Just remember that porn isn’t real, as I discuss here.
6. Your Music Muse
Music has a way of penetrating life. There are certain songs that always make you feel sexually alive, responsive and connected.You’ll find that the music that was popular when you were 20 years old has a strong effect on you even now. That age was an emotional time for most people and the music you loved was most likely very powerful at changing your mood, right?
You can and should use music in the same way today to get yourself in the mood for sex with your man. It is easy to create play lists and you can collect songs that make you feel sexy. I personally find artists like Enrique Iglesias absolutely irresistible because his lyrics are super sexy and he is gorgeous. Songs and lyrics have a way of cutting through resistance and waking up desire.
7. Mind Your Mind
If finding a sexy mood is not easy for you, maybe he said something to hurt your feelings or maybe life has been complicated? Everyone goes through that. If he has pulled away from you, never assume he has lost interest. He may have a lot on his mind.
Ask yourself some questions: Do you like having sex with him? Is it fun? Do you wish you had more sex? The best action step you can take is to write down what you want. Your brain loves structure and writing down what you want in your sex life will have a powerful effect on what you see as possible, desirable and even easy to have. Like I’ve said previously, not many men will say no when you ask for sex. Once you have made a decision to be more sexual and have written down your deepest desires when it comes to sex, you will be amazed at how your man will respond to you, he’ll actually know how to get you horny and in the mood for sex.
Here are some ideas to get your creative juices going, so to speak:
- I want to be easily turned on and tuned in to my man’s desire to please me.
- I want to have orgasm 5 times a week.
- I want to be easily aroused.
- I want to be cuddled, fondled and stroked with my clothes on. (Don’t knock it if you haven’t tried it)
- I want to be the first one to be turned on, teased and pleased into bliss and then I want to please my man with my mouth using the techniques I learned from the Bad Girl’s Bible.
Check out some of these sex tips for more ideas.
8. Sexy Texts
Oh yeah! The best kept secret when learning how to get in the mood for sex is text messaging…if you do it right. If you have a savvy man he’ll already know how to push your buttons with text messages but often men just don’t know how to send the right kinds of sexy texts. All it takes is a little encouragement so that your man knows how hot you get with the right messages. A little treat out of the blue like:
- I was just thinking about how great it feels when you kiss my neck behind my earlobe.
- I love resting my hand on your thigh while we are driving together.
- Your stubble makes me shiver.
- Are you doing anything important right now? I wish you were doing me.
- Do you have plans tonight?
You will need to gauge his response to you. If he is in a meeting, he may not be able to get right back to you. Send just one text and see how long it takes to answer. If you are lucky, he will be in the mood too and will text you back delightfully seductive messages that will help you find your horns before next time you are together. If you want to learn more great tips on send sexy text messages, check out this guide and this article.
9. Erotica Rocks
You may be like me and have a nice healthy appetite for erotica. It is amazing how the mind can recreate experiences that are so real that the body responds powerfully to them. Settling for erotica and a vibrator may work for some women but you can also use erotica to get ready for sex. Plan on reading your some passages from your favorite books before he comes over and then you could invite your man in for a read along when he gets there.
You may even consider taking turns reading passages with one another. You may even want to act out one of the scenes or create your own sexy screenplay. The key as always is experimenting and seeing what works.
In The Mood For Sex Yet? Yep!
Science does prove that the chemistry of brand new love does have a shelf life. Psychology Today reports that studies suggest the first rush of sexual passion can last 4 to 15 months. It’s not everlasting, what a shame. But there’s no reason to throw in the towel just yet. With the right mindset and some creativity, you can create a great post crush magnetism that will get you in the mood for sex and keep you there.
Nothing feels better than having a man desire you. So once your sexual appetites start to change and you two are not in sync, it is time to take matters into your own hands and turn things around. You can turn yourself on and be hot and ready for him and once you two are back into having fun with sex again, it will get easier and easier.
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