Most of us have heard of the yoni, the ancient Sanskrit word for the vagina. But you’re not alone if you’ve never heard of lingam, the word that translates to “wand of light” and refers to the male counterpart. Of course, if you’re a bad girl, you’ve probably spent plenty of time time with a lingam, but you’d call it a “penis” or “dick.” Not only did the ancient Hindus have their own words for this part of a man’s body, but they dedicated a special type of massage, a lingam massage, that’s quite a bit different than the typical hand job you might be used to.
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Of course, there’s nothing wrong with giving your man an awesome hand job when you want to get him off, but if you’re looking for a way to increase intimacy without necessarily focusing on the goal of orgasm, then lingam massage might be just what the doctor ordered! Plus, you can slow things down and give this type of stimulation a shot to break up the monotony in the bedroom.
Finally, penis massage puts your man in the focal point of pleasure in a way that shows him he’s cared for much like a verbal compliment makes him feel good.
Anatomy of the Lingam
Before we talk about the actual techniques of penis massage, let’s refresh your knowledge of the male anatomy. The lingam, or penis, is made up of the shaft and head. Of course, the head is the most sensitive part of the penis. This works well for women who aren’t able to deep throat because it allows them to give great head.
There’s a ridge around the head known as the corona if your man is circumcised. At the underside of the corona is the frenulum, which is the most sensitive part of his head.
If he’s not cut, the foreskin still covers the shaft.
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If you think your man’s ability to experience pleasure ends here, however, you’re wrong! The testicles and scrotum can also be sensitive, and you can go even further back. Between the testicles and anus is the perineum, which is especially sensitive to men because it offers access to the prostate without needing to penetrate your man anally. Learn more about his prostate. In lingam massage, this perineum is known as the Sacred Spot specifically for this reason!
Preparing for Penis Massage
First, set the stage. Pick music, lighting, scents and even bedding that works well for your purposes. You might want to go with something relaxing and new age and burn some incense, or you may stick to some alt-pop and burn your favorite candle. It’s up to you!
Break out your favorite massage product. There are a few to consider.
- An oil-based massage cream is the choice of some. Oil degrades condoms, though, so don’t use it if you plan to have sex after and rely on them as birth control. More on that here.
- Silicone-based lube can also double as a massage oil.
- You’ll find warming, flavored and scented massage products, too.
- Consider a massage candle, which burns at a low temperature so you can experience heat during your massage.
- Coconut oil also works as a slick cream.
Lingam Massage Techniques
Let’s move beyond anatomy into the techniques of penis massage.
Start with a general massage. Run your hands over your man’s arms, legs and chest. Slowly move toward his hips. Check out tips in this guide to sensual massage for more ideas!
For a lingam massage, you want to start massaging around the testicles and move your way toward his pubic bone around the base of his penis. These tips for testicle massage are great! During this, you’ll also be able to massage his perineum or Sacred Spot.
There are some specific motions you can try to see how your man responds.
- Stroke from the base of your man’s penis to the head with one hand, then follow with your other hand.
- Change direction by moving from the head of his cock to the base.
- Massage the head of his penis like you’re juicing an orange.
- Twist your hand side to side as you stroke your man.
- Add male sex toys, such as a Tenga sleeve, to your penis massage.
- Run a soft cloth or furry item over his penis.
- Experiment with hot or cold temperatures – warming or cooling massage products are great for this.
The goal of this isn’t to make your man cum or even make him hard. He may become hard and become softer again. That’s okay! Keeps your hands on him, and the two of you will remain connected.
If your man feels like he’s too close to orgasm, you should lighten your touch. You can also help him avoid orgasm by focusing on his breathing. The breathing techniques practiced in Tantric sex come in handy here. The two of you can breathe in tandem if it helps to keep him at ease. You can also consider walking him through breathing and connecting with his body similar to the way yoga or meditation instructors talk. However, this isn’t necessary during a lingam massage.
Orgasm without Ejaculation
Another technique to use is to allow your man to orgasm without ejaculation. This is a skill that many men don’t realize they have, but it’s perfect for lingam massage. Plus, it can enable him to be multiply orgasmic during sex!
There are two ways to achieve this.
- Press his Sacred Spot firmly while he orgasms.
- Wrap your fingers around the base of his scrotum and pull down firmly during his orgasm. Just make sure not to hurt him.
Both of these methods take practice. One thing you might struggle with is being firm enough. Make sure your nails are filed and be careful not to pinch when pushing against his perineum. Get feedback during either technique to ensure your man is comfortable.
In a typical lingam massage, you’ll end without giving your man an orgasm. Like you began, you’ll return to giving him a general massage to prolong his relaxed state. You might cuddle, which is also good for intimacy. If he’s incredibly relaxed, your man may want to go to sleep after a penis massage.
There’s also the possibility that he will want to orgasm. Although it’s not traditional of lingam massage, you might want to finish off with a happy ending. We’ve got the details on that right here. Or you might continue with a sexy romp.
Make sure you’ve got enough time, so you can slowly return to the noisy world around you. You may want to cover him and give him a few moments to breathe and relax in silence like they would at a professional massage salon.
Your man can also return the favor by massaging your yoni, or vagina, and vulva. This could lead to orgasm, but it doesn’t have to. You can simply feel pampered and relaxed while he does the work.
As a couple, you may have fallen into a routine. Lingam massage is a way for you to try something new that allows you to focus on your man without the expectation of orgasm. It can make your man feel worshiped and appreciated in a way that he’s lacking.
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