“Rub it like this.”
“You need to stretch first.”
“It’s because you don’t drink enough orange juice!”
You can find a lot of weird, funky advice on the internet when searching for ways to have stronger, more powerful orgasms. Some is good, most is terrible.
We don’t write about old wives tales here at The Bad Girl’s Bible. Just simple and powerful sex tips. Below are 8 ways for you to have more powerful orgasms, more often:
1. Learn To Relax
But it’s not as easy as telling you to ‘just relax’.
Often you’ll find that the more you try to relax, the harder it is to actually relax!
When you are with your guy, you may be feeling that you have to have an orgasm with him. Instead of trying to just enjoy yourself and just going-with-the-flow, you might be focusing all your energy on trying to climax.
This isn’t necessarily a bad thing.
But what if you could just feel it slowly coming on, where almost nothing you could do could stop it? And then you just erupt in orgasmic bliss?
Many students that I have spoken to find these types of orgasms to be a lot more satisfying.
So how can you ‘learn to relax’?
A great way to learn to relax and get comfortable with yourself is through masturbation.
Start by masturbating alone in a private place where you feel comfortable. Your bedroom is usually a good start. From here you want to graduate to relaxing with your man either while masturbating yourself in front of him or during sex/foreplay.
For more help and information on getting comfortable with your body and relaxing, make sure to check out these articles:
2. Use Quality Sex Toys
Sex toys are like steroids….but for sex.
They take good sex and make it great.
But unlike steroids, using sex toys is not cheating!
So what types of sex toys should I use to have more and stronger orgasms?
Vibrators are the obvious choice. But before rushing out to buy a vibrator, some words of warning.
These vibrators are often too strong to have enjoyable orgasms. Many people even report that they end up making them feel sort of numb after using them for only a minute or 2.
It’s a much better idea to invest in a slighty more expensive vibrator that offers multiple speeds and settings.
However, you’ll find that it’s worth your time investigating other sex toys too. Many report that using a butt plug during intercourse heightens the entire experience for them. While other report that using other toys during sex like restraints, nipple clamps or even wearing a mouth gag give them similar experiences.
And don’t forget about using some lube!
Check out the how to use a vibrator article for more tips on using a vibrator properly.
Please feel free to share what works for you with the rest of the Bad Girl’s Bible community in the comments section at the end of this article.
3. The Longer The Build Up, The Better!
Quickies are great.
They can be hot and oh-so-naughty!
But if you want to have strong orgasms, a long slow build up is much, much better.
So how slow should I be?
It can literally be all day long!
It could start in the morning, with some flirty texts between you and your man. Then in the evening you could go for a nice romantic meal together.
After the meal, when you return home, you should draw out foreplay for at least an hour, then slowly graduate to having sex. Not one-minute-rabbit-sex, but nice and slow sex.
The purpose is to slowly build you up towards orgasm.
You’ll find that this slow build up will make it far easier for you to orgasm. As well as finding it easier to orgasm, you’ll also find it easier to have multiple orgasms using a slow build up.
4. Teasing Foreplay
This sex tip is actually something your man should read.
Or at least try to relay this information to him.
Sometimes it’s nice when your man is aggressive and wants to turn you on as fast as possible….The problem is that most men seem to think that this is the only type of foreplay.
The other type of foreplay that he should try using is what I like to call ‘Teasing Foreplay’.
The goal of Teasing Foreplay is to turn you on slowly and to tease you with sexual gratification.
The premise of teasing foreplay is this:
When he can tell that you are really enjoying something and getting closer to orgasm, he needs to start doing something else.
Here are some examples:
- When he can tell that you are getting closer to a climax as he is eating you out, he should stop and instead start to slowly caress your thighs with his hands and mouth.
- Then as you start to really get off to it, he should switch things up again to something like focusing on your breasts and neck.
- As he can see you getting heated up from that, he can then finally return to your vagina for some attention from his hands.
- And then right before he brings you to climax, you can both start having sex.
The key for your man is to constantly bring you the edge, before backing off. 2 Steps Forward, 1 Step Backwards. And then afterwards, doing it all over again.
When he does eventually bring you over the edge, you are going to have a super powerful orgasm!
5. Discover Your Fantasies, Kinks & Festishes
So many girls and guys go through life feeling ashamed of the very things that turn them on!
This makes me sad 
You might feel that your kinks, desires and fetishes are not normal and that you’re the only one who has them. Reading the Reader’s Fantasy section of The Bad Girl’s Bible, you’ll quickly notice that you’re not alone.
Everybody has them.
The sooner that you realise they are normal and nothing to be ashamed about, the sooner you will be relaxed about having them.
Don’t forget
More Relaxed = Stronger Orgasms
You may not want to share them with anyone else (which is perfectly normal), but coming to terms with the fact that they are normal is important if you want enjoyable, guilt-free orgasms.
6. Find What Positions Work For You
So, a lot of the advice I have given you so far may seem kind of ‘theorethical’. And I’ve talked a lot about what to do before sex to have stronger orgasms.
What about something more during sex for stronger, more powerful orgasms?
No problem!
It’s why I created the Sex Positions Guide.
Inside, you’ll find every major sex position you could think of and more!
7. Find Your Rhythm
Finding great sex positions that ‘hit the spot’ is great.
Just as important is finding a rhythm that you enjoy and letting your man know about it.
- You might like it when he takes it nice and slow.
- You might like it when he fast like rabbit!
- Or maybe you enjoy a combination of both.
What’s important is communicating this to your man.
Rather than sitting him down with a pen and paper or showing him a spreadsheet & pie charts (joke!) of what you like, there’s a much easier way of letting him know what you enjoy and what gets you off.
Just like that.
Harder.
Faster!
Slower
Deeper!
It’s that easy.
And 99.9% of men will happily comply!
Then when he is in a good rhythm, make sure to praise him!
Just like that.
Keep going.
Don’t stop.
8. Sensory Deprivation
Have you ever had sex in a really bright room, with the lights on, with a guy you like, but it was your first time together?
Many people find that sex with the light on doesn’t allow them to fully relax and enjoy themselves. But with the light off, they feel more comfortable and relaxed.
An interesting way to take this concept a little further is to try having sex with a blindfold on. When everything is pitch black and you are unable to see, you need to rely on your other senses to orientate you. Many find this both highly arousing and relaxing at the same time.
An interesting way to take this concept further is to try using ear plugs as well.
So there you have it, 8 easy-to-use tips on how to have stronger and more enjoyable orgasms. If you have any tips of your own that haven’t been mentioned here, please leave them in a comments section below. [photo credit: kait jarbeau is in love with you, creative commons]
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Hey there
Every once in a while while iam making love to my boyfriend,i get the sudden urge to pee.He told me that it’s my bodies way of letting me know that Iam about to squirt but Ive never experienced it.please let me know how get this feeling to a different stage(where i am sble to squirt)
Hi Lucy,
Thanks for your question. I will try to answer it in detail in one of the upcoming Q&A posts on the blog.
Until then, here is the short answer. Your boyfriend is correct about it being your body’s way of letting you know you are about to squirt. It’s caused by your Skene’s gland swelling and filling with fluid. It’s a totally natural feeling, many girls experience it when reaching orgasm.
Why?
The Skene’s gland is located right beside your bladder and puts pressure on it as it swells.
Sean
May I also add that many women are holding the squirt back, because they are afraid they’re going to pee.
In fact, it’s impossible for women to pee when having an orgasm…
By the way, great article Sean!
I love the “2 steps foreward, 1 step back” technique. It works great with women.
Tom
Google squirting. Read the blogs. If you show your man how he can make you squirt with his fingers. Have him press his hand just above the pubic bone while inserting two fingers “palm up” inside you. Have him tilt his fingers up a little and pump in n out. You may feel like peeing a lil but kind of feels like a build up, pressure. Have him keep going unless it hurts then have him ease up a bit. When u start to squirt have him pull out just long enough to release some of it and then keep going. It’s the best damn feeling in the world. I didn’t know I could till 2 months ago and I’m 34.
crave it now everyday!
My boyfriend likes to have sex in the morning before he goes to work. But, he has trouble cuming in the morning. He wants sex, when we start he gets hard and pre cum starts to come out but when we start having sex, vaginal or anal, he says he isn’t going to cum and stops. I’ve given him a blow job after he has said that he isn’t going to cum and I’ve gotten him to cum, but it’s not much. Can you give me some advice on what to do to help him
Hi Elizabeth,
You’ll find that some guys have more trouble reaching orgasm than others. It’s natural and nothing to do with you. There are a few things that will help your man. One is stopping masturbating for a few weeks. After 2-3 weeks without ejaculation, he will find it much easier. Another thing is making sure not to put any pressure on him to ejaculate. I hope this helps,
Sean
So I have squirted before with a previous partner… unfortunately I haven’t had the same luck with my new partner…. I’m just wondering would it make him feel less of a man if I either showed him how to make me squirt or asked him to learn?
“would it make him feel less of a man if I either showed him how to make me squirt or asked him to learn?”
Most likely, your man will be thrilled to learn how to make you squirt, but a small amount of guys may feel a little emasculated by being shown how to please.
How you show him is crucial. The key is to frame it in a positive way. Try telling him that you love it when he does certain things (the things that make you squirt).
I have never squirted, as a matter of fact when I have an orgasm there is not much physical ‘evidence’. Is is possible to increase the amount of fluids released during an orgasm or is every woman just very different. Can all women experience female ejaculation?
Hi Denise,
Thanks for your question. I believe that when it comes to female ejaculation, everyone is different. Some can do it with ease, while others will find it much more difficult or almost impossible. If you want to increase the amount of fluid that you release during orgasm, then you need to make sure you do things:
1) Drink a lot of fluid in the hours beforehand.
2) Bring yourself to orgasm in a way that is incredibly intense. For some this involves a long build up. For others this involves engaging in a fantasy or specific act that they find incredibly arousing.
Sean
I’m always self conscious about what I my cum tastes like. Do you have any suggestions about what I should eat or drink to make it more pleasurable for my partner to go down on me?
Hi Katie,
I always advise eating pineapple about 2 hours beforehand. Avoid asparagus, artichokes and anything fatty.
Sean
So ive been curious to know how i can quirt. My fiance loves when i do but its not very often. Im looking for some advice on how to gush. Like literally soak him and the bed. Any advice?
Hi Raevynn,
Most people can squirt, but to different extents. What I would advise is masturbating by yourself and finding out what techniques and things make you squirt the most and then letting your man know about these things.
Sean
Hi Sean,
Thank you so much for your advice and tips on how to make your man happy and satisfied in bed ,all of the tips you said ,I apply it with my boyfriend ! He love it and even ask me were did I learn all those position and technique ,I just say its my secret hehe ! Anyway thank you so much again and still expecting more tips from you ! Love to know more from you ,till next ….take care……. SHERLEN
Hi Sherlen,
Thank you for your kind words!
Sean
Hi Sean,
Don’t know whether you can answer this or not, but I might as well ask. I’ve been having sex for 15 years and have never had an orgasm (I don’t think). Can’t even give myself one. I have tried everything, and I get right there, but I can’t “release”. Any advice?
Hi Jane,
This is a very difficult question to answer as every situation is specific to the individual. The easiest way to learn how to orgasm is on your own, when there is no one else around. Start with this AND make sure to take your time. Then try using some of these tips in the masturbation, cumming and orgasm articles.
hi
i dont think i have ever had an orgasm with a man while having intercourse and i..i was wondering if im doing something wrong..i have felt it building but never had a powerful one..i was wondering if you could give me some advice on how to achieve one..thank you
Hi Frances,
The best advice that I can give you is to get in touch with yourself through masturbation to see what you enjoy and what gets you off the most. Also consider trying positions like the Coital Alignment Technique for more clitoral stimulation.
I never have an orgasm i feel something is missing when my husband and I have sex
I try everything and nothing
Hi Grace,
I’m sorry to hear that. You should check out the Coital Alignment Technique as it will give you a lot more clitoral stimulation than usual during sex. But also try figure out what other positions and things during sex turn you on the most and actively do these things.
Sean
hi jameson am dating on line with aguy who is showing alot of interest but at times his communication is soooo low at times acts like not interested but wen am letting go he comes back wat can i really do 2 make him want 2 talk 2 mi all day. i thnk God i met this site
Hi Minal,
Sounds like more of a relationship problem. Unfortunately I don’t cover this with the Bad Girl’s Bible.
Best,
Sean
My boyfriend has never had orgasm during oral sex and he is 34 yrs old. How can I help him?
Hi Rolanda,
Thank you for your question. There are a lot of different ways that you can help him with this. The first thing thing to understand is that that if he has never had an orgasm during oral sex then it might be because he prefers other kinds of sex to oral sex. The other reason could be due to something called ‘death grip’. This happens when men masturbate too often with a very tight ‘grip’. This trains them to need a lot of pressure on their penis in order to orgasm.
The best way to make your man have an orgasm during oral sex is to ask him not to masturbate at all for 2-3 weeks and then try giving him a blowjob after that. You’ll be surprised with the results!
Sean
Hi Sean, absolutely love this site!
I was wondering if you had tips for flirting?
My boyfriend used too be a MASSIVE flirt before we got together, he’s just one of those guys that really knows how to talk to women and make them feel comfortable. I see him flirting with other women when we’re out, so I know he’s still capable of it. But he seems to have forgotten how to flirt with me. I send him suggestive texts, or make suggestive comments when we’re out. But I get no return.
On the plus side our sex life is absolutely fantastic! I just wish the foreplay could start before we got home.
So yeh, anything I can do, say, wear? To make him more interested in the flirting? We’ve only been together 6 months, I’m not ready for the fun to stop yet.
Hi Max,
The most important thing you can do in this situation is talking to your man. I know this doesn’t sound like an ‘exciting sex tip’, but it’s the key to a great sex life. So let him know how much you like him flirting with you, teasing you and doing those things he did when you first met. I know this is quite direct, but sometimes guys just don’t ‘get it’ unless it’s explicitly spelt out for them.
Also, try sending him messages that bait him into flirting with you. Try something like sending him a picture of you in 2 different outfits and asking him which he finds hotter for a date. This way he pretty much has to reply.
Let me know how you get on!
Sean