Love is an incredibly powerful emotion that makes you feel on top of the world. It’s fulfilling, happy, and often has a depth that surprises many in its grasp. It’s truly one of the most incredible feelings you can have in your life.
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Romance movies and books often talk about love at first sight, when you have an instant connection with someone as soon as you lay eyes on them. Sometimes this isn’t the case, and love is developed over a period of association or dating.
Love at First Sight
Fairy tale stories, romance novels, and romantic comedies often have love at first sight worked into the plot lines. Love at first sight works exactly as it sounds. You see someone and feel an instant, overwhelming attraction to them. You just know it’s love. You might not know much about them outside of their appearance, but they have that special something that makes you go weak at the knees.
This type of love deepens over time when it’s mutual and you start learning more about the person, but that beginning spark powers you for the first part of the relationship. It’s also a uniquely certain feeling compared to slower developing love. You are convinced he is the one for you, and nothing shakes your feelings about this matter.
Love at first sight isn’t a requirement for a long lasting, fulfilling relationship, especially as love at first sight may also be confused with feelings of lust at first sight.
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Falling in Love After Association
Falling in love often happens after you spend time associating with a person, whether you’re attracted to him because of his career ambitions, the way he spends his free time, or how much effort he puts into staying in shape.
If you don’t feel the spark right away, it often develops after you put some time into finding out more about him, his beliefs, the way he lives, and what he likes to do with himself. You’ll find tips on making him addicted to your here.
When you take some time to fall in love, you also avoid the issue of falling in love with someone completely unsuitable to you, as you don’t want to end up in a love hate relationship. You have some time before you form the emotional attachment, so you can keep your eyes open for potential red flags before you’re in too deep.
Another benefit of slowing falling in love is being able to figure out whether there’s long term compatibility or not. Sometimes you hit it off with a guy but there’s too many problems, such as differences in opinion on whether to start a family or not (here’s some tips on getting a guy to like you). While it’s possible to make a relationship work in that situation, in most cases you run into major issues and resentment in the long run.
If you find out problems early enough in the “getting to know him process”, it’s easier to detach than if you immediately fall head over heels in love.
Handling Falling in Love Through Personal Barriers
As you get older, you’re going to run into guys who have been burned in major ways by their past that affects how long it takes him to fall in love. Or maybe you have the shadow of a former bad relationship on your shoulders.
Personal barriers make it harder to open up to the love from someone else. Sometimes it’s a matter of developing trust before you’re able to love another person, and sometimes it’s helping your crush with the same problem.
Overcoming previous baggage takes a significant effort of will from both parties. Sometimes he doesn’t want to admit he’s holding back from falling in love with you because he’s afraid history will repeat itself. The best thing to do in this love situation is to be as patient as possible, and work towards open communication so you know where you both are at on the healing process.
Everyone has some sort of baggage, but you don’t have to let that stop you from a fulfilling relationship when you have good communication skills in place.
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It’s also possible that therapy or self-help is needed with particularly extensive personal issues, past abuse, and other major problems that impede someone’s ability to love. It’s important to be patient with yourself or your man if you’re in this situation.
It can take a significant amount of introspection, strength of will, and determination to unravel many side effects that occur because of this type of past situation. In some cases, the difficulty in developing love may be tied to a mental illness such as depression.
Don’t Wait Forever
You may have your heart set on a man in your life, possibly your best friend (here’s some tips in case it happens) or someone else you are particularly close with. However, it never seems like the time is right for a relationship, they ignore your signals, or they don’t appear to reciprocate your affection.
It’s hard to put a time line on how long it takes to fall in love, but sometimes it goes on too long. While it’s hard to let go of a relationship that you hoped would work out, there comes a time when either he isn’t able to give you the affection you want in return, or he doesn’t feel the same way.
It’s best to cut ties and create emotional distance so you can open yourself up for other sources of love in your life. This guide will help you to quickly figure out if he loves you.
How to Accelerate the Love Process
When figuring out how long does it take to fall in love with someone, there really is no set amount of time, but you do have a few ways you can help build your connection and increase the depth of feelings faster. One of the most important parts is making sure they know how you feel.
You can take the subtle route and go for hinting and flirting to see if they respond. Try these flirting tips, and these ones too.
If it seems like they are oblivious to your advances, and you are fairly certain they are into you, take the direct approach. Spending time together in general is a great way to start building feelings of connection, but you need more than a significant quantity of time. You also want to focus on the quality of time. One way to create quality time is by sharing interests and hobbies.
When you both have passion for a particular activity, it ends up being a bonding experience for you both as well as a great use of your free time. You don’t have to juggle trying to find time for your hobbies and finding time for your crush.
Another way to accelerate the falling in love process occurs is by not trying to force it. It may feel frustrating to not declare your love from the rooftops as soon as you feel it, but when you allow it to develop organically for both of you it can end up coming along much faster overall. Pressure makes it more difficult to develop feelings naturally.
Romantic Love Versus Platonic Love
Sometimes you feel significant connection with someone, but it’s on a much different level than you feel with romantic love.
Platonic love, such as the love you have for friends and family, provides you with a strong emotional connection with that person. However, it differs in that you don’t have physical feelings for them, and you also don’t want to share every single facet of yourself. If you truly enjoy someone’s company, but you don’t want to spend the rest of your life with them and live with them, it’s quite likely you’re experiencing platonic love.
Falling in love and love at first sight are some of the most intense experiences you have in your life. Sometimes it takes seconds and sometimes it takes years to fall in love with someone. The amount of time it takes is a personal thing and your love is valid whether you finally realize you have feelings for your best friend or you can’t take your eyes off the new co-worker who transferred from another office.
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