When you find a guy, you want him to be great. Often, he is, but not all guys are created equal.

That’s why it’s so important to locate a man who wants commitment, and know how to spot a cheater. If you have to ask “is he cheating?” all the time, you aren’t going to have the good, strong relationships you’re probably looking for. Whether he’s doing something to make you suspicious, or you simply don’t trust easily, there are things you can look for and signs he’s cheating that you’ll want to consider.

The signs of a cheating husband can be major or minor, but if that question of “is he cheating” crosses your mind, you should know what to pay closer attention to.

Of course, one sign may not mean anything at all, and you don’t want to accuse your man of cheating over something that could be perfectly innocent. Look for big major signs, and also consider the number of signs you’re seeing. One little thing may be innocent, but taken with several other things, the picture could change drastically. If you’ve found yourself asking the is he cheating question, consider the following.

1. He Starts Putting a Lot of Effort Into His Appearance

Many men, when they decide to cheat, start to be more careful about how they look when they leave the house.

If you’re wondering if he is cheating you should pay close attention to his grooming habits. Suddenly taking a lot better care of himself could be a red flag that he’s seen someone outside the house who has caught his interest. It’s often one of the signs he’s cheating, but it’s certainly not a guarantee that he’s doing something wrong. Just be aware of it, and watch for other signs that might concern you.

2. Working Out

Joining a gym and starting to work out is one of the things your guy might do if he’s cheating or thinking about cheating. He’ll want to be in shape for his new love interest to impress her.

Whether he met her at the gym or somewhere else, he’ll be all about self-improvement. There’s nothing wrong with a guy joining the gym, though, in and of itself. He may want to get healthy for himself, or even for you, so don’t automatically assume he’s cheating if he suddenly gets a gym membership. Just be aware of it, so you can see if there are other signs. If there are more signs and they start to add up, that can make you suspicious.

3. Buying New Clothes

Another thing to pay attention to if you’re asking the is he cheating question is what he’s wearing. If he’s always dressed casually and now he wants a whole new wardrobe, it’s possible something is up.

Wearing newer and better clothes, looking for something more stylish, or choosing something a little tighter or sexier could all be red flags. You may be more suspicious if he’s buying the clothes without consulting you, or if he only wears those clothes when he goes to a certain place or on a certain day, too.

Speaking of clothes, if you’d like to know how to dress sexier yourself, you may find this article very helpful.

4. Losing Weight

Among the signs of a cheating husband is losing weight.

It’s possible your husband could stand to lose a couple of pounds, since a lot of men could. If he’s suddenly really worried about it, though, and his whole eating and exercise pattern changes, that could be worth worrying about. It’s different if you’ve embarked on a healthy eating plan together, or you’re exercising at the gym with each other.

Doing that as a couple isn’t the same thing as your man suddenly deciding that he has to lose weight and being secretive about it or the reasons behind it.

5. Hiding His Phone From You or Using a (New) Password

Another thing that might make you ask “is he cheating?” is his cell phone. If he’s recently gotten a new one, has more than one, or is keeping it hidden from you, that’s worth investigating further.

Also take note if he’s started to password protect his phone when he didn’t before, or if he changed the password for no reason, when he doesn’t normally update his passwords. Some people change them frequently, but for those who don’t, doing so could mean he has something to hide from you.

That could be another woman, but changing cell phone behavior isn’t a guarantee he’s cheating. Some people are just very private, or he may use his phone for work and have sensitive client information there. The more you know about your man and his habits, the more you’ll know if his habits have suddenly changed. Understanding what’s normal for him can really help you avoid accusing him of cheating when he may not be doing anything wrong at all.

If you’re in a pretty secure relationship, but would like to learn some tips on sending dirty, flirty text messages then this article and this one will teach you what you need to know.

6. Paranoia if You Joke or Ask About Cheating

Among the signs of a cheating man is becoming paranoid. If you’re wondering is he cheating and he’s getting nervous and upset when you try to talk about it with him, something could be going on. That doesn’t mean you should accuse your man of cheating, especially if you don’t have any direct evidence of it. But is does mean that you want to be aware of his behavior.

Most people are trustworthy, but it’s possible you’ve found one that isn’t. The sooner you find that out, the better off you’ll be.

If you make a joke about cheating or mention that someone you know has been cheated on, your man shouldn’t get all uncomfortable and awkward. If he becomes paranoid that you’re accusing him, or if he starts protesting too much about how he would never do that to you, be aware of it.

Some people are naturally more paranoid than others, but if the behavior is unique to the cheating situation or if it’s odd for your man, you may want to see if there are other issues going on.

7. Getting Defensive Easily

He also shouldn’t get defensive, especially when you’re not accusing him of doing anything wrong.

Signs of a cheating husband include defensiveness, so if you’re wondering is he cheating you may have at least part of your answer if he’s getting upset all the time. When people have nothing to hide, they generally don’t get too worked up when you want to have an honest conversation about an issue that’s bothering you.

Your man should want to comfort you and make you feel at ease, not get angry if you’re feeling a little bit insecure.

If something’s really bothering you, being able to talk to him and feel reassured that he loves you, and only you, can go a long way toward making your relationship stronger. When he’s getting defensive, you can’t have that kind of discussion with him. It can make you feel insecure, and also cause fights that neither one of you want.

Both of you should be able to talk openly and honestly about anything that’s bothering you, no matter what it is.

8. Showering Right After Getting Home

No matter what you’re man does for work, another one of the signs he’s cheating can be getting in the shower as soon as he gets home. He may smell like another woman’s perfume, or even her specific scent if he’s been intimate with her. Since he won’t want you to notice that, he’ll come in the door, put his things down, and go take a shower.

If he works in a job like construction, this is obviously less suspicious than if he works in an office, but you’ll still need to pay careful attention to this behavior no matter what he does for a living.

You’ll also want to investigate if this behavior starts suddenly, with no real reason, because that could indicate that he’s met someone. Consider whether he often showers when he gets home or whether this is completely new behavior, before you get too concerned, though. If it’s something he’s done frequently throughout your relationship, it probably doesn’t mean anything.

9. Accuses You of Cheating

To help you answer the “is he cheating” question, think about whether he’s ever accused you of being the cheater in the relationship. When a man is cheating, he may try to turn that around on the woman and accuse her.

It can really throw you off track and make you confused. You might even go out of your way to be extra good to him and assure him you aren’t doing anything wrong. In the meantime, he’ll keep cheating and you won’t question his behavior because you don’t want to upset him. You’ll be trying to earn and keep his trust, when he’s really the one who’s breaking it.

Unless you’ve been unfaithful in the past and are doing things to really make him suspicious, he shouldn’t be accusing you of infidelity. If he does accuse you, it could mean the beginning of a toxic relationship.

10. Suddenly Starts Spending a Lot of Time Away

Is he cheating if he suddenly starts spending a ton of time away from you?

Well, maybe.

How much time does he spend without you? If he suddenly starts spending a lot of time away from you, there could be something going on. Many guys like to have a night out and do things with their buddies. There’s nothing wrong with that, and it’s pretty normal.

If he makes a sudden change in how often he goes out, how long he’s gone, or who he’s going with, though, that’s worth considering. You may have a problem on your hands, and that can certainly leave you thinking about the is he cheating question. Traveling for work when he’s never had to before can also be a big red flag, especially if he can’t properly explain it and is hesitant to talk about it.

Even if you think the answer to the is he cheating question is yes, you don’t want to hassle or confront him.

Make sure you have true evidence before you make any accusations unless you want to turn your relationship into a love-hate situation (more on that here). Sometimes things can look bad, but they really aren’t what they seem. If that’s the case and you accuse him of cheating, it could really hurt your relationship.

You obviously don’t want that, but you also don’t want to live with a cheater. That’s why it’s so important to be sure. Accusations that don’t have any merit might actually drive him to cheat. He may figure that, if he’s going to be accused of it, he might as well do it. Relationships and marriages have broken up that way, but yours doesn’t have to.

For the most part, you should trust your man, because most men can be trusted. If he loves you and wants to be with you, he won’t cheat on you.

Of course, he should also take your feelings into account, and help keep you feeling safe and comfortable in the relationship. You should do the same for him. If you’re asking “is he cheating?” all the time, there’s definitely something missing in the relationship, and the two of you should work together to find out what that is. Signs he’s cheating don’t really mean he’s cheating. They are simply things to look for that could mean cheating is taking place.

It could be a false alarm, and not have anything to do with anyone else. Don’t let a good relationship go bad over unfounded suspicions. Talk to your man, investigate if you have to, and then take action only if you’re sure he’s cheating. That will give you much more peace of mind. If he’s not cheating, you can put it behind you and stop worrying, too, so you can work on building a great relationship together.

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