#59 Ex-Porn Star Teaches How to Get & Stay Rock Hard PLUS The 10 Clit Commandments for Men with Erik Everhard

Performance anxiety and the inability to make a woman reach orgasm are just some of the many issues so many men struggle with in the bedroom. Today on The Bad Girls Bible, seasoned porn star and sex coach, Erik Everhard joins us to share his 10 Clit Commandments and his tips for keeping an erection.

Tuning in, you’ll hear all about how Erik got into porn, how to manage performance anxiety, some strategies to get erect and stay erect (including Erik’s CRUSH Protocol), how sex affects masculinity, and so much more! Erik even breaks down the 10 Clit Commandments as he shares how to perform mind-blowing oral sex and get a woman over the edge to achieve orgasm. Finally, he tells us all about his Everhard Academy and where we can learn more from him. Thanks for listening in!

Key Points From This Episode

• Introducing today’s esteemed guest, Erik Everhard. 
• Erik shares his journey and what led him to become a porn star. 
• How to manage performance anxiety as a porn star. 
• Erectile strategies someone with a penis can use to stay hard. 
• The biggest mistakes guys make when trying to last longer. 
• Erik shares his CRUSH Protocol for helping men stay erect. 
• Why sexual prowess is ingrained in a male’s identity and masculinity. 
• Erik breaks down his 10 Clit Commandments. 
• How vibrators can be a man’s biggest teacher when it comes to oral sex.
• What the tongue compass is and how to listen to it. 
• Primary cues to pay attention to when performing oral sex. 
• Being effective not fancy, the danger of novelty, and why consistency is key. 
• Common oral sex issues Erik sees with his clients. 

Subscribe For The Latest Episodes

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts

Subscribe on Spotify

Subscribe on Soundcloud

Subscribe on Castbox

Subscribe iHeartRadio

Subscribe on Android

Download this episode

Transcript

“EE: When we think about eating pussy and we think about creating orgasms, we have to understand that orgasms come like waves, okay? But think about it in terms of you know, creating a wave out in the sea, right? This wave of the orgasm. Well, as we’re bringing it closer and closer, we cannot stop what we’re doing, and it doesn’t take much to completely throw that away, right? You could need to readjust your positioning, gone, she’s off her wave. You might need to get a drink of water, gone, off her wave. You might need to wipe your nose, whatever asinine thing that you want to do, pardon my French, don’t fucking do it, right? Stay focused and we’re going to go through that as we go through this, right?”

[INTRODUCTION]

[0:00:48.5] SJ: This is the Bad Girls Bible Podcast. I’m your host, Sean Jameson, and this is the place where I interview experts and professionals, and everyone in between to teach you how to dramatically improve your relationships and have more enjoyable sex more often. If you’re not already subscribed to the Bad Girls Bible Podcast, you just need you to open your podcast app, search for Bad Girls Bible, and hit that subscribe button so you get the latest episodes delivered straight to you, the moment they’re released.

[INTERVIEW]

[0:01:20.6] SJ: Today, I’m talking to Erik Everhard. He’s a former porn star and porn director, having starred in well over 2,000 films. Originally from Canada, Erik is also the founder of the Everhard Academy. It’s an exclusive membership for men seeking to master the bedroom. Erik’s also written a book. Unleash Your Sexual Superpowers: A Porn Star’s Guide to Sexual Mastery. Erik, thanks so much for coming on the show.

[0:01:48.7] EE: Oh, thanks for having me, man.

[0:01:50.7] SJ: So, I’d love to start off, it’s the big question that’s on my mind is your journey and maybe, how you became a porn star, maybe you could tell the listeners a little bit about that. What started you on this road?

[0:02:04.5] EE: Yeah. So, if we go back way in time, back to 1997, and I was attending massage therapy school at the time and it’s lunch break, you know, I grab my chicken and rice, we go to the cafeteria and I grab one of the local newspapers. They had this newspaper called The Georgia Straight and I pick it up and this is one of those rags that usually has the band listings, what’s going on in town, you know, you just kind of read it, see what’s going on, and that’s it. 

So, I’m flipping through, looking through the newspaper and I turn the page, and there’s this like, four-inch by four-inch ad that’s looking for women and couples to do a porn movie, and I’m like, “Oh my God.” You know, I mean, this was – for Canada, you know, for the listeners, for Canada, at this time, this was unheard of. Like, you know, for us, we were just like unbelievable. I used to have an ex-girlfriend who used a joke. 

You know she’s like, “Oh, yeah-yeah-yeah, you could do porno, you know?” Wink-wink-nudge-nudge, like, “Yeah, thanks, sweetheart.” Because your significant other is always going to say – well, in most cases, they’re going to say, “You’re wonderful.” Even if you’re not, they’re going to be like, “Hey, I’m still rooting for you, you’re my boy.”

[0:03:22.2] SJ: Hey, well, it’s all those compliments I got are not genuine?

[0:03:27.1] EE: So, I took it with a grain of salt, right? But I see this ad and it made me think. I was like, “Oh, man, you know, she always said you were good at that.” So, what did I do? Well, I get on the phone, I give them a call, and as I soon learned, like most companies out there, they hung up on me because it was the 0.1 percent, the 1% that could actually do the job, and they had enough of the guys that couldn’t, so not interested.

And so, I went back to my massage therapy school, I didn’t think anything more about it. Probably about seven months go by same scenario. In the cafeteria, got my lunch, grabbed the newspaper, thumbing through, bam, there’s that ad again and now, I’m thinking like, “Oh God, you know, okay, now, I have to take some sort of action.” Like, now, this is the second time I’ve seen this thing. 

And I really thought to myself. “Well, you didn’t really put in that much effort, right? They said no and you walked away.” So, I started calling, calling, calling, and one day, I get the owner on the phone because it’s a different voice and he says to me, he’s like, “Okay, well, I’ll tell you what. Come on down to our studio, we’ll take some Polaroids of you, see if you’ve got the equipment, and then maybe, maybe one day, we can get you a job.” 

And so, I thought to myself, “Well, that’s better than hanging up on me, right? Like, we’re making progress here.” And so, I go down to their studio, it was in this seedy area of east Vancouver and I remember walking up these stairs, this big metal door, knock on the door, they open it up, they’re like, “Hey, are you Erik?” I’m like – and then you know, he just looks me straight in the eyes and he says, “You’d fuck a girl for us right now.” 

And I’m, you know, imagine, I’m 21 and I’m just like, “Uh, yup.” You know, like a little squeaky voice coming out because they had an actress that they had shot a couple of times, she was just hanging out at their studio. So, when I showed up there, she’s already there and they said, “Yeah, screw it, let’s see if the kid can do it.” So, yeah, about, probably about 15 minutes after I arrived, I was doing my first scene.

[0:05:37.6] SJ: And then from there, was it steady work with this company, was it stop star kind of?

[0:05:44.0] EE: It wasn’t steady but I did do a number of scenes for them over the next six to eight months, right? Because you know, when I was done, I was just thinking, this is going to be a one-off and I remember, you know, they paid me, I went home, I thought, “Wow, I’ve got a great story to tell my grandkids.”

[0:06:01.9] SJ: Bucket list, check.

[0:06:05.1] EE: Yeah, I did a porn movie, right? Year, exactly, that’s what I was thinking, bucket list moment, and it was like three days later, they ring my phone and they’re like, “Hey man, can you come by and do that again?” It was later on I learned I was the only guy that had come by that was able to do it. So, for the next, yeah, six to eight months, I had a handful of scenes from them and one day, the editor pulled me aside. 

He said, “Hey, the owner will probably never tell you this but you’re really good at this, you should think about going down to LA, you could make some serious money.” I’m like, “Money? There’s money in this? Are you kidding me?” And so, that then started my transition to look at going down to Los Angeles and it was just after I had turned 22 years old. A buddy of mine who had been down to LA, he was the guy that came up with the moniker, Erik Everhard. 

He told me after we went and visited a adult actress that came through on a book signing tour. It was Dyanna Lauren, and she was signing at the big adult video store in our town and I remember him and me went to see her because we wanted some information and you know, there’s a big line of people getting their autograph from her, and I had two different box covers that I was on the cover of with these girls. 

And so, we get in the line and I’m like, “Look, I don’t want to take your time, Ms. Lauren but I’m sure you get, everybody asks you “How do I get into porno?” I’ve done it, here is me, that’s my face, that’s my dick, what do I need to know?” And she was really great. She just laid it all out, she’s like, “Well, you know, this is how many times you could work, here’s what you could charge, you know, here’s everything that you need to know.” 

When we walked out of that store, my buddy turned to me, he’s like, “Look.” He goes, “I got a gut feeling, I have a gut feeling, you’re going to be really big at this, and if you want to do it, I’ll back you financially to get down to Los Angeles.” Then that was it. After that, it was okay, we’re going down, and started my career down there in February 1999.

[0:08:04.0] SJ: Awesome. So, from there, was it a series of constant highs, was there highs and lows?

[0:08:10.9] EE: Probably, the only low per se was about six months in because I’ve been down there for six months and I’d left my family behind, I left my friends behind. So, I was feeling like a little bit unsure, I was a little lonely and then my old roommate from Vancouver, I was thinking about maybe going back and he was like, “Oh, what are you talking about?” He goes, “I managed to get a job down in LA, I’m going to come down that way.” 

So then, and I had somebody that I knew from the past that was in down there to support me and then it was really – for years, it was pretty much a meteoric rise because at that time, there were no performance-enhancing drugs.

[0:08:47.9] SJ: Yeah, no Viagra.

[0:08:48.0] EE: Nothing existed

[0:08:49.3] SJ: No Cialis.

[0:08:50.4] EE: There was nothing. So, you had a very small community of guys. You know, it’s like, if anybody goes and watches 90s porno, 80s porno, you’ll see it’s the same 10, 20 guys pretty much throughout that whole era and it wasn’t because we had the best personalities but it was because we were the guys who could do the job and that’s what I – you know, as I’ve transitioned into working with men, I mean, that’s been one of my strengths is bringing, “Well, what does it take to do that?” 

What are the mental hacks that you can use, what is it that you need to know, where does your mind have to go to be able to perform on cue? How can you overcome your performance anxiety, how can you last as long as you consciously want to? Like, all these things, we had to learn out of necessity because if you didn’t, you didn’t have a job. It was a cutthroat business, there was a saying like, you’re only as good as your last scene, it was really true. I mean, you could have the most sparkling track record and if you just had a couple of bad days, people would talk and it would be quickly, you’re going down the list.

[0:09:59.6] SJ: And so, what does prevent you from having a few bad days? Because I think every normal, healthy guy in his late teens, 20s has bad days.

[0:10:11.2] EE: Well, the biggest thing is, first of all, setting yourself up for success. I’m a massive proponent of that and that means, we got to learn our own bodies, first and foremost, right? We have to learn our own bodies and we have to lean into percentages that are going to stack wins. Like, I won’t do anything that I’m not 80, 85% sure I can pull off. You have to you know, when you’re dealing in an atmosphere like that, your belief system is everything. I often talk about it with guys because my very first scene, the very first time, that first time when I showed up and that girl was there, I had a rational belief in my penis, and I’ll tell you why.

[0:11:02.7] SJ: Yeah, but where does it come from?

[0:11:03.9] EE: Think about it for a second, right? And this was how it worked for me. If you’ve been masturbating your whole life, I could ask you this, of all the times you masturbated Sean, how many times have you failed?

[0:11:15.6] SJ: That’s a good question. Jeepers. I think we’ve all been disturbed and had to kind of shut it down pretty quick but other than that, yeah, probably never.

[0:11:28.0] EE: Yeah, yeah, you got a perfect track record, right? It wasn’t on my map of reality that you could fail. It never crossed my mind that I would, you know, at that point, I’m 21 years old, I’ve been jerking off for, call it, 10, 11 years, sparkling track record, flawless in fact, right? So, what is changing? That was just the first piece of the mental puzzle for me. Well, what is really changing here? 

If we could put ourselves in that mindset, that’s no different from when we’re there alone, and now, you know, let’s just magnify it out, and yeah, I mean, there’s some more people, some more distractions but the root of what we’re doing is no different, and that goes into something that I learned and something that I teach my clients where I talk about two different erectile pathways because most guys, most guys when they fail, it’s because they have them collapsed into one and that’s wrong. 

You do have to and when you learn that you can separate into those two different pathways, now you got agency because it’s like, “Okay, well, this one over here is a little flaky and unreliable and I don’t know and you know, the nerves, the anxiety, they can mess with this one but this one’s pretty reliable over here, right?” But I have to know that I can separate them and I can tap into these different things. 

And now, well, okay, you don’t stress so much because it’s like having a backup, right? It’s like, “Okay, well, if this isn’t working, I’ll just calmly transition over here, start using this other pathway, let’s see what we can do, right?” But I have a lot more control over here than I do here. Most guys, when they stress, you know, they freak out it’s because they haven’t learned to be able to separate these two and so, it’s not working, and then, five-alarm fire, the panic sets in, right? 

And as soon as you start to panic, well, you start creating those false beliefs to become a reality. What’s going through your head, right? It’s like the typical response, “Oh God, I hope I get it up” right? Well, we’re presupposing, you’re not going to, “Oh God, not again.” So now, you’re ruminating in the past, you’re living in the past, you’re bringing that towards the future. “I hope she doesn’t notice” right? “I hope she still likes me after.”

I mean, none of thoughts serve you but as guys, we’ll have them. If we’re not getting hard right away, well now, we’re just confirming all those thoughts. So, now those thoughts start to compound and now, we’re sweating and now our heart’s racing, and now it’s a thousand times harder that we’re going to get hard. So, you know, that’s just a way that my brain works on it, right? 

[0:14:05.7] SJ: If you were talking to a client and you were trying to get them to access this other – to avoid this thinking to come back to the moment, to relax, to access this no loss, no draw, no disqualification, all win streak, what are some practical things maybe someone with a penis could do?

[0:14:31.2] EE: Well, I mean, you know, first of all, it’s going to be, “What’s your strategy?” I mean, so many times, like, I’ll work with private clients and it’s the first question I ask. “Well, what’s your strategy?” And they kind of look at me like, blank stare, like, “I don’t have a strategy.” Well, I mean, let’s just use a kind of a euphemism, like you’re going to war, right? Well, any general out there is going to have a battle plan. 

You’re going to have a strategy, you’re going to have some things that you can rely on that you’re going to follow through on, right? Your troops are going to have their weapons, they’re going to have their ammo, they’re going to have their water. You know, you’re going to be setting things up and this is no different in terms of what we’re trying to do with ourselves, right? Like, first of all, it’s going to be our health, right? 

We’re going to be trying to make sure that we take our supplements that we’re as sensitive as we can possibly be but then it’s like, “Okay, well, if we’re getting hard, are we using sleight of hand maneuvers to do it?” Are we playing to our strengths in terms of things that we’re going to do that might engage a psychological erection, right? Positionally, what positions are we doing, what are we starting with? 

So, there’s so many different things where we can really control a lot of the variables that cannot guarantee us to be successful but we can certainly move us a lot closer to the goal of being successful rather than just willy-nilly like, “Okay, you know, I’m just going to drop my pants and hope and pray.” I don’t believe in hope and prayer on this one Sean, I like to go in with a very structured sort of plan because if I’m feeling nervous, you know, I mean, I’ve done a lot of things that have induced unbelievable amounts of anxiety, right? 

I mean, the hardest thing I ever did was in 2004 and I used the video as a teaching moment for my clients. I mean, I got hard in the town square of Budapest, tourists everywhere at high noon with police across the street. That was difficult and I committed the whole thing to tape and I’ll break down what I’m doing throughout the process because that day that I did that was a complete process, you know? 

So, you have a lot of tools at your disposal to be able to overcome these things. It’s just that most guys, A, don’t understand that they have the tools and if they do, they don’t know how they should implement them but most of the time, they’re just unaware that they would even have them.

[0:16:57.7] SJ: I think that’s a great point, it’s like, I’d almost say it’s surprisingly obvious or a bit counterintuitive because as an example, I guess, masturbating 20 minutes before you hope to have sex probably isn’t you know – and having a climax, I don’t think it’s going to help you get hard 20 minutes later.

[0:17:17.1] EE: That is one of the most counterproductive things you can do.

[0:17:20.2] SJ: And that’s like a very obvious example but that’s just one thing.

[0:17:24.5] EE: Yeah, but guys do that. I mean, I’ve got some clients where they fear being able to last long enough. So, rather than using the tools, the techniques, the strategies that I would be giving my clients to be able to last, you know, their strategy, if any is, “Okay, well, I’m going to cum in 30 seconds just to get that one out and then I can finally do the deed the second round.” Except when the second round doesn’t happen because now, your body says, “No, no.” 

So now, what have you done? Well, you’ve really put yourself in a pickle because well, you only lasted 30 seconds, the girl is pissed off because she thinks you’re selfish, and now, you’re unable to get it up the second round. So, you do have to really think, “Well, what is going to be more effective in terms of a strategy and moving forward?” Where you can really be effective in what you are trying to do and what the goal is.

[0:18:24.3] SJ: Do you have other tools like that, that you’d recommend guys say struggling with getting hard, staying hard? You know, besides Viagra, besides a pill, besides an injection.

[0:18:37.9] EE: Oh yeah, I mean, I have an entire protocol that I take guys who call it the CRUSH Protocol, which stands for comfort, recognize, understand, satisfy, hyperfaces, hint of blood. We’re using all of those different methods because there’s not one thing, right? And I think, a lot of times, we could talk society-wide, people like to fixate on this quick fix pill, right? It’s going to be the one thing. It’s like, no, it’s not one thing, it’s not one thing. 

It’s like, we got to bring everything together but you know, big picture, it’s always like, “Okay, well, we need to have belief and we need to have confidence.” Problem is, confidence is going to be a byproduct of competence. What I’m always trying to give my clients, you know, and the people I work with is I really want to just give them hows and whats because, to me, that’s the big piece that’s missing when it comes to sexual performance for men.

Big picture, right? Because, it’s like, I know a lot of these people, you know, they’re on YouTube and they’re the gurus and all this and – but when I watch the things that they talk about, I’m like, “Okay, well, great, that’s like from a textbook.” You know, I’m first to tell your listeners, I have no degree in sexology, I just have 10,000 hours spent on my back and I’ll put those 10,000 hours on my back against anybody’s degree because what I learned works. 

It’s not fantasy, it’s reality, right? It’s like, these are the tools that you can implement that will work, that will give you that extra five, that extra 10, that extra 20 minutes, you know? That will allow you to, no matter what, “Hey, the girl doesn’t like you or there’s some strange noise or this is going on, well, I can still get hard. I could still do this.” Because it’s like, you know, big picture, we want to be, as men, right? We want to be effective. 

There’s no way that you can decouple your sense of masculinity from your performance in the bedroom. I don’t believe it’s possible. I remember I was in grade 11, Sean, grade 11. Biology class and one of the kids starts talking about dick size. Well, if the whole room just start going crazy. First guy is like, “Oh man, you know, I’m packing eight inches.” “Well, oh, eight and a half over here.” “Oh, no-no, I got nine inches over here, what are you talking about?” 

I’m like, I’ve been in porno, you know? 25 years, I mean, if you were to come across nine inches, you know, you’re lucky, right? Like, this is like, wow, crazy, right? But somehow, everybody in my biology class was packing nine inches. I can’t believe it, we should have been looking for porn stars in my Bio 11 class, right? And it just goes to show you where the male mind will go, and how, the importance that we place as men on this sexual prowess piece, right? 

Like, it’s ingrained in sort of our identity that we want to be able to be good and it’s a – almost like, the rest of our societal hierarchical structure is really trying to find a way to change our sexual desirability structure, if that makes sense, right? You know, you get the guys, they want the flashy car, they want the watch, they want the money, they want the house, well, they just want to raise up that sexual desirability structure and on some level, right?

[0:22:06.9] SJ: I agree with that, yeah.

[0:22:08.5] EE: Yeah, but take all that away, it’s just you and it’s your penis, and that’s the thing. Like, you’re with a woman, she doesn’t care about anything else. It’s like, “Well, how effective can you be at creating orgasms in that moment?” Because that’s all there is now. It’s just you, her, your penis, and your abilities.

[0:22:25.8] SJ: So, speaking about creating orgasms, we talk a little bit before I hit record about the clit, you have 10 commandments for the clit?

[0:22:37.1] EE: Yes, yes-yes.

[0:22:38.1] SJ: Could we talk a little bit about them?

[0:22:39.9] EE: Yeah. So, one of the things that I really spent a lot of time honing over my 25 years was a methodology for eating pussy that exceptionally effective, right? And it’s like, you know there was a handful of us that were known for being the best pussy eaters in the business, me, being one of them and so, what I distilled was what I call the sort of 10 commandments of the clit, and number one is, posture is priority. 

Now, what I mean by that is, your abilities to be able to eat pussy are going to be determined by your alignment with your neck, your back, your head, all of that stuff because if your posture is off, you cannot keep eating pussy for very long, and here’s the thing, right? Because, and we’ll unpack a lot of this because it goes pretty deep, when we think about eating pussy, right? And we think about creating orgasms, we have to understand that orgasms come like waves. 

Actually, this is going to be one of the commandments coming later but I’m bringing it forward for us, okay? But think about it in terms of we’re creating a wave out in the sea, right? This wave of the orgasm. Well, as we’re bringing it closer and closer, we cannot stop what we’re doing, and it doesn’t take much to completely throw that away, right? You could be just need to readjust your positioning, gone, she’s off her wave. 

You might need to get a drink of water, gone, off her wave. You might need to wipe your nose, whatever asinine thing that you want to do, pardon my French, don’t fucking do it, right? Stay focused and we’re going to go through that as we go through this, right? 

[0:24:27.7] SJ: I know the feeling, I know the feeling, a cramp was almost coming on. 

[0:24:30.7] EE: This is how I frame it in terms of our experiences. Man, how often have you been getting a blow job, the girl, she’s got the right hand motion, she’s got the right lick, like everything is perfect and you’re just thinking in your head, “Oh babe, just don’t stop, like we’re one minute away.” And about 20 seconds from you know, lift-off moment, switches hands. You’re like, “Fuck.” 

Well, now, it’s different. Now, I’m like, “Oh, it doesn’t feel the same.” And you’re just like, do-do-do-do, done, right? It’s not happening. It’s the same, same process for women, right? So, why I say posture is priority, you know, if you don’t from the outset set yourself up for success in terms of what you are able to do, right? You are not going to be able to do it for very long without needing to shift, without needing this, without needing that, without being uncomfortable. 

So, you know, the first thing we want is we want to have our posture so that no matter what, we can go the distance, okay? Number two, prescribe the minimum effective dose. We’re thinking about it like you know, imagine you’re a doctor you are giving somebody medicine. Well, you know, you don’t want to shoot them up with too much, right? Like, that would be no good, and so when we’re thinking about prescribe the minimum effective dose, we always want to start off with low speed, low pressure to be able to figure out what we need to give the clit more or less off because we can always ramp it up but we cannot dial it back effectively. 

[0:26:00.9] SJ: It’s sort of you’ve already let the cat out of the bag kind of thing and you’re just not – you’ve got to use – 

[0:26:05.4] EE: It’s not even that. It’s the fact that say, for example, you know, and you’ll see this when you start to pay attention to how women use vibrators because if you think about it like vibrators are the greatest teaching tool known to men and as men if we can look at what that vibrator is doing, we can extrapolate a lot of things from it that work on women but for example, you might have a girl that she’s a level two gal, right? 

She likes to put on vibration number two, good to go. Another girl might be a number five. You might have one girl that she’s like, “I put that mother fucker on 10, full power, wee!” right? 

[0:26:40.2] SJ: Throw it up to 11. 

[0:26:41.2] EE: Throw it up to 11, right? But if you got the girl who’s a two and you throw that thing on 10, she’s going to flinch, she’s going to be in pain, she’s going to back off like, “Ow, ooh, ah-ah-ah.” So, you got to start at the lowest level and then you’re testing, you’re testing for the engagement. There’s something that I talk about at length in my trainings in my forthcoming book, where I talk about your tongue compass. 

This is a key thing that men have to understand, your tongue is going to be the compass, your tongue is understanding everything, and you have to be able to get in touch with what your tongue can sense, right? And most guys, this is the one skill that takes time, it takes training to be able to truly register what your tongue needs to feel. When you do, you can now read what the clit is telling you because the clit speaks, right? 

You just have to listen but we do that by starting with the minimum effective dose because too much pressure, too much speed is counterproductive if you’re now exceeding what that woman can handle, right? So, number three, in terms of the 10 Commandments, winners don’t wander, and I think this is one of the things guys really need to understand, right? Because from my perspective, again, I’m a functional realist when it comes to sexuality, right? 

There’s so much, I’m just going to call it what it is, crap information out there when we’re talking about eating pussy because you see the stuff where they’re like, “Oh, make the alphabet with your tongue and put your tongue here and do the navel and you know, wander all over.” No, commandment number three, winners don’t wander, right? It’s like Vince Lombardi said, winning is a habit. It’s not a sometime thing, it’s an all-time thing. 

When we have made the, what I call a capital C commitment to eat pussy, we do not leave that clit ever. We can have tease, we can do all these wonderful tease stuff, it’s wonderful until we make that commitment because once we made that commitment, we are in it to win it, right? Which means at that point we never leave the clit. We’re not going up to you know, and again, I can throw it back on us as men. 

You know, like your girl does a little bit of tease and she’s going stuff but finally, finally she gets to the blow job and you’re like, “Oh, yes” right? Imagine she just starts to have a blow job for 20 seconds and then she stops and she wants to play with your nipples and then she wants to make out with you and then she’s doing this. You’re like, “Fuck already, we were on something here like you were doing something” right? 

And it’s the same thing like when guys decide they want to chew on some pussy lips, they want to tongue fuck the hole, they want to do all this stuff that’s ineffective. It’s like when we’re eating pussy and we’re going to functionally create an orgasm, once we got on that clit we never leave it. So, winners don’t wander. Commandment number four is we focus on feeling not hearing, and this is one of the things that I talk about when I talk about separating the primary physical cues of orgasm on women, right? 

Because most guys, if I ask a guy and I’ve done this, right? I said, you know, because he’s – I remember having dinner with one gentleman and he was telling me about this time he went down on this girl and he got her off and it was amazing, right? And I was like, “Oh, that’s great.” And I said, “What were you paying attention to?” And I just got crickets. “What was I supposed to pay attention to?” 

[0:30:10.9] SJ: I was feeling right in the dark. 

[0:30:13.0] EE: That’s everybody, right? And it’s like, “Okay, well, if you don’t actually know what you’re supposed to be paying attention to, now you can’t repeat what you did.” You just got darts, you’re just throwing them at the dart board, and you’re just like, “Well, I hope something sticks.” And what I teach men is like no, we have a repeatable and reliable process and we can get over 85% of women off in 10 minutes or less.

But that’s because I can read the body because her body will tell you what’s working and what’s not, right? So, you got these physical cues that let you know what’s working. So, when I say focus on feeling not hearing, most guys make the error that they’re listening to the moans of the women. That is an auditory secondary cue, that is not a primary cue, and if we’re just listening for that if a woman is going to fake an orgasm because you are doing a bad job, that’s the first thing she’s going to do. 

She’s going to pull out her Broadway thespian skills and say, “You know what? Today, I’m doing Hamlet, or tomorrow, I’m doing the King and I but I am going to put on a show.” You know, it’s When Harry Met Sally. Remember in the diner, she’s like, “Oh-oh-oh” right? So, auditory cues are useful but only against the backdrop of the primary cues. By themselves, we cannot trust them. So, when I take guys through the pussy eating process, it’s you know, we’ve got the metrics we’re looking for, right? 

It is almost like a checklist in a sense of what we are feeling for, like what is it that’s going on with her body because that way when we learn to recognize those, we learn to feel those, we learn how to hone in on those, now we can be truly effective because it’s not that auditory cues are bad but they’re unreliable if that’s all that we’re paying attention to because you can fake that. 

[0:32:04.4] SJ: And what are some of these primary cues? 

[0:32:09.0] EE: Well, the two big swans are going to be the clitoral engagement and tension. 

[0:32:13.1] SJ: And how does the tension manifest itself, could you be? 

[0:32:16.2] EE: You’re going to feel it in multiple different ways. When you can feel it, they’re going to manifest automatically, right? No woman is going out there saying, “I’m going to magically do all these different things.” They’re going to happen without her trying to make them happen. The only thing that she is obviously going to be trying to happen is going to be her auditory cues. 

So, when you follow the clitoral engagement, you’re following the tension, and you’ve got those things ramped up to a high level, now, we can back it up with those auditory cues, and so this is the whole process where we’re trying to say, you know, it’s like we’re like a detective and we’re putting together our Rubik’s cube of how this woman’s body operates. So, next stop, number five, give the pussy what it needs. 

It’s like Mick Jagger says, you can’t always get what you want but sometimes, you might find you get what you need, right? And this comes back to again, the tongue compass, right? Your ability to be able to read what needs to change by reading the clitoris, right? When you can read the clitoris, you’re like, “Okay, what does it need more of? What is creating more engagement?” right? So, do we need different speed? 

Do we need to change our cadence? Do we need to change our technique, right? Because if we are looking at the different – with my methodology, the way we’re looking at it, we’re looking speed, pressure, cadence, technique. So, you got four different variables that you are using but still, it’s all coming through your tongue compass. So, the tongue compass is still our main thing that is allowing us to read her body in real-time. 

You know, if you think about it, it’s almost like, kind of like almost like a radar station, right? It’s like we’re getting that instant feedback of what we’re doing. It’s like we’re being able to translate what her pussy is telling us in terms of sensations into what actions we need to take next, right? And that’s key but you have to always be giving the pussy what it needs because if you’re not, you’re never going to start bringing that wave of orgasm towards her, right? And she’s not going to have lift-off. 

Now, this just tails on that, number six, build the wave, don’t let it go out to sea. So, this is exactly what I was talking about, like we have to be building that wave of orgasm, right? That comes from us and the thing is when you’re thinking about the wave of orgasm, there’s two different things you have to think about because you are essentially the ocean and you are the surfer on the ocean at the same time. 

Meaning, what we are doing is we are doing the things that are going to create that wave of orgasm coming but as that wave gets closer, just like when that wave comes in the ocean, right? If you paddle too fast, you miss the wave. Paddle too late, miss the wave, right? So, when we might be ramping up our speed pressure a little bit, we’re doing these minute changes because we need to be able to ride the orgasm all the way to its conclusion. 

[0:35:24.2] SJ: And give the pussy what it needs. 

[0:35:26.2] EE: Give the pussy what it needs, see? Exactly, so that’s key because you know sometimes, if you were to just stay doing the exact same thing that you’re doing, she might have needed 10% more speed, 5% more speed and you have to be able to feel that in the moment to be able to say, “Okay, like I need to paddle a little bit faster” right? Because otherwise, we’re going to miss the wave. Next one, very important, number seven, change for effect not for novelty. 

[0:35:52.8] SJ: Yeah, I think so. This novelty thing, it’s not always – it can be a good thing but it’s not always necessary. 

[0:36:01.0] EE: Well, again, let’s look at it through the lens of what is our overarching goal and when I go in the bedroom, my goal isn’t to be fancy, it’s to be effective. So, remember, Indiana Jones, right? They’re in Tunisia and some crazy guy has stolen his woman and put her in like a vase, this big like you know, vase type thing and they’re running around the downtown area and so Indiana Jones is chasing her. 

And then he ends up in the square and there’s this big black menacing guy with a big sword and he’s doing all this fancy stuff, right? 

[0:36:38.8] SJ: I know. 

[0:36:39.9] EE: And Indiana Jones, what does he do? He pulls out his gun and shoots him, right? 

[0:36:44.1] SJ: And then he just looks at him like, “What the heck?”

[0:36:45.6] EE: Yeah, what the fuck were you doing, right? So, you know, number seven and number eight both touch on that as I get to the next manner as well but change needs to happen for a reason. If there is no reason, novelty is not the one, right? We need to be effective, so we stay with whatever is effective because sometimes, you can change and it will backfire. I’ll give you an example, let’s just say, right? 

That you are in Los Angeles and you want to drive to Las Vegas and I’ve done that drive quite a few times, Sean, it’s a four-hour drive. If I told you, Sean, I say, “Hey, this is a two-hour drive.” At the two-hour marker, you might be like, “Oh, fuck, this isn’t working. I’m not on the way to Vegas.” You were on the way to Vegas though, you are on the right highway, you just had the timing wrong. So, what are you going to do then? 

Well, you might be like, “Oh, well, it must be a left turn.” So, you pivot, change tactics, change techniques, change speed, change angles. Well now, you’re going way the hell away from Las Vegas. So, it’s like if we’re going to make a change, it has to be for a reason and we have to have exhausted all other possibilities and this is where again, where the primary cues become so important because when you are reading the primary cues of her body, you know what you’re doing is working or not. 

You know that what you’re doing is working or not, so you have something to fall back on that you can trust because that’s what allows you to stay in the game because otherwise, you can get in your head and say, “Oh, well, I don’t know if this is working, maybe I’ll try some other fancy technique.” And it’s like, five more minutes if you had just done what you’re doing for five more minutes, this would all be over. 

She’d be happy, you know, you guys could have a cigarette and a sandwich and you know, call it a day, right? So, that goes into number eight where I say commandment number eight is don’t be special, be consistent, and this tags on with number seven, right? But it is about the consistency of what we’re doing. It’s not about trying to do something flashy. So, you know, the methods that I teach are effective and if you were to look at them, you’d be like, “Well, that seems kind of boring.” 

What do you want to be? You want to be flashy and not have a woman have an orgasm or do you want to be effective, get her off in five minutes or less, call it a day? Yeah, maybe give her two, maybe give her three, right? Choose your own adventure but it’s all about are we being effective, right? Which is about consistency. Don’t be special because you know, if you are trying to – it’s like your automobile. 

You have square tires on your car, Sean? You got round ones, right? Because they’re perfect, so if you’re out there and you are thinking, “Well, okay, I’m going to eat pussy but I am going to do this fancy new-fangled technique that’s not going to work but you know, everybody is going to be like, ‘Oh wow, that’s so impressive.’” It’s like, uh-uh, come on, be consistent, don’t be special, you’re going to be a thousand times more effective. 

Number nine, the clit always comes first. This is very important, especially when we are talking about other things that we can bring in to amplify the sexual experience, especially fingers, right? Your focus no matter what needs to be on the clit. Anything else is running on the background, fingers, those are running on the background. I often say if we were to look at pussy eating through the lens of like a band, right? 

It’s like, well, the clit is the singer. Fingers, that’s the drummer in the back keeping the beat, he is not the focus. Nobody has ever gone to a concert to say, “Well, I want to see the drummer.” 

[0:40:38.1] SJ: There might be one percussionist nerd maybe. 

[0:40:40.7] EE: Right, right, yeah.

[0:40:42.1] SJ: But basically, everyone else, yep. 

[0:40:43.0] EE: Yeah, everybody, they want to see the frontman. So, you got to structure what you’re doing appropriately because if you suddenly think that fingers are going to be this fantasy of magic, which they are not, now, you’re ineffective in the bedroom and so you need to actually focus on one thing, that you can only focus on one thing, and that is going to be your tongue compass telling you about the clitoral engagement. 

And then number ten is never run out of gas, right? And that is you know, you always have to save a little bit of speed, pressure, cadence in the tank because you might need it to get her over the top. There might be that little piece where you know, you’re going to need that extra five, 10, 15% increase, and if you don’t have it, now you’re not going to be able to pull it off, right? 

And that again is why it’s so important to use, you know as we talked about in number two, use the minimum effective dose because if you can get her to the precipice with the minimum effective dose, well now, you’ve got a lot of gas in the tank for whatever you need to push over the top. 

[0:41:51.8] SJ: Dude, that’s incredible. 

[0:41:53.4] EE: There we go, that is the 10 Commandments of the Clit. 

[0:41:56.8] SJ: Do you have any common issues you see with clients, students when it comes to going down on a partner? Maybe they’re following these 10 commandments but there’s something that kind of crops up again and again. 

[0:42:12.9] EE: When I look at guys that struggle, usually it’s multifaceted. You know, first off, it’s really the hows and the wants, to begin with, like they don’t know what to do, right? Because again, like I can look at myself as a perfect example. I was floundering, I didn’t get to read no textbooks. Nobody got to tell me what to do, I was just lucky enough that I had so many women to experiment on back to back to back to back, right?

[0:42:42.3] SJ: It’s a tough life. It’s a tough life? 

[0:42:42.3] EE: Well, but here was the thing, it’s like it allows you to literally be an experiment to like in a laboratory. Sometimes I would refer to the points that as the laboratory because here was the thing, it was such an honest experience. That was one of the things that I took out of my time in the porn business, right? Like you know, people don’t quite understand that it might be tough for you to get honest feedback from a woman that has an emotional connection with you. This is one of the problems – 

[0:43:13.4] SJ: You’ll just hurt her feelings. 

[0:43:14.8] EE: Nobody wants to hurt anybody’s feeling whereas – so imagine you’re in this scenario where you’ve been hired, the girl has been hired, and there is this third-party entity that is paying the two of you. So, you don’t have to get along, you don’t have to like each other, you don’t have to walk on eggshells. Somebody does something you don’t like, oh, you’ll tell them like, “Hey, I don’t like you fucking doing blah-blah-blah-blah.” 

Because you’ve removed that piece of, “I need to cater to somebody’s emotions.” So, what I found is you would get this very honest experience. They’ll tell you, “Hey, that’s good, that’s not, this is working, that’s not, don’t do that, do this, oh my God that was amazing.” Like, it would just be if you have a girl that tells you, “Oh, that was the greatest thing since sliced bread.” And she’s not your girlfriend and you’re never going to see her again, she has no reason to tell you that you’re good, you know? 

Like, there is no reason, there’s no reason for any of these things, you just get instant feedback. That’s what enabled me to say, okay, or to start basically chipping away at the structure that became my methods because it was like, “Okay, well, this is working. Okay, this didn’t work this time, why?” right? Because for me it was what are the overarching principles? See, something that I talk about often is you know, principles of women’s bodies and how they operate and never change. 

The application of those principles will and that’s where you’re looking at big picture, “Okay, how does the woman’s clit and her body operate?” Good, if you get the 30,000-foot view of it, now you can say, “Okay, well, you know Suzie is different from Janet, you know, different from Diana, and different from Anna.” But big picture, they all work the same, and now, it’s the smaller elements that we can tweak because it’s those elements that are going to be individual for each girl. 

But when you understand that you can go in and you say, “Okay, well, now I’ve got my compass. I can start to figure her out in real time.” Unravel the Rubik’s cube so to speak because you know, what worked for one girl is not going to be the exact recipe that worked for the second one but the principles are still going to be all the same. 

[0:45:23.0] SJ: Absolutely. Erik, thanks so much for coming on the podcast. 

[0:45:26.9] EE: Yeah, you’re welcome. 

[0:45:27.8] SJ: If people want to find out more about you, more about your courses, how can they do that? 

[0:45:33.0] EE: Yeah, well, they just go to the Everhard Academy, that’s my flagship program. I teach everything from overcoming performance anxiety, pussy eating, lasting longer in the bedroom, sexual positions, anal sex, condoms, and sexual health, all of it is together in that program. 

It’s not safe for work, so just if anybody goes there, it is real trainings, there is real sex involved. There is also lecture material, I have homework for the clients, everything is there. It is the most comprehensive program that I’ve ever seen based on what really works in the real world. 

[0:46:14.4] SJ: Fantastic, you also have a book coming out? Because you – 

[0:46:17.1] EE: Yes, yes, we will be coming out with book number two, The How of Eating Pussy: A Porn Star’s Guide to Clitoral Mastery. So, that is going to be an entire book dedicated to the art of pussy eating because one of the things that I love most about sex is one of those things that I think I’ve really developed to a level that any guy can get 85, 90% of women off if they follow the steps and they follow through it with it. 

[0:46:43.5] SJ: Fantastic. Mr. Erik Everhard, thank you. 

[0:46:47.1] EE: Yeah, thank you, man. 

[END OF INTERVIEW]

[0:46:49.3] SJ: One last thing before you go, if you want to hear more podcasts just like this one, open your podcast app, search for Bad Girls Bible, and hit that subscribe button. 

[END]