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Nothing feels more wonderful than having an orgasm. That’s why I created this Orgasm Guide because I believe that every girl should learn how to have intense orgasms, whether they are clitoral and vaginal orgasms, two types of orgasm that women commonly report having [1]. And whether you are alone or with your man. Let’s jump in…
What You Will Learn In The Orgasm Guide
This page you are reading right now is just the first chapter of the detailed Orgasm Guide. It will give you the basic overview on how to make yourself cum powerfully, so if you are currently struggling to orgasm alone or with your man, then it’s going to show you how to climax and start enjoying your body much more.
Side note: If you are currently struggling to orgasm during sex or masturbation, then you may want to learn about the Easy Orgasm Solution. It will teach you how to have multiple vaginal and full body orgasms during sex and masturbation. It works even if you currently struggle to orgasm during sex or when masturbating. You can find out more here.
Podcast: Effortless Orgasms
If you currently struggle to reach orgasm, then you may want to listen to this podcast where I teach you how to orgasm easily and often. You’ll discover the simple strategies that will make reaching orgasm (& having multiple orgasms!) a breeze.
Listen to more Bad Girls Bible podcast episodes here
Before teaching you the simple solutions to make it far easier to orgasm, I just want to give you a quick overview of each chapter in case you want to skip straight to a particular topic that you need help with:
Masturbation Techniques That Focus On Your Clit – Learning how to orgasm through masturbation is the first step to a life of sexual bliss. The illustrations demonstrating these clitoral masturbation techniques will show you exactly how to rub, press, flick and stimulate your clitoris to put your body into a state of complete ecstasy. Read the masturbation techniques chapter here.
Masturbation Techniques That Focus On Penetration – Once you are proficient at pleasuring yourself through your clit, it’s time to focus on penetration. The illustrations and step-by-step guidelines in this chapter will show you exactly what to do to climax from fingering yourself. Learn the most pleasurable way to finger yourself here.
Related: If you want to give your man back-arching, toe-curling, screaming orgasms that will keep him sexually addicted to you, then you'll find them in my private and discreet newsletter. You'll also learn the 5 dangerous & "dumb" sex mistakes that turn him off and how to avoid them. Get it here.
Finding & Pleasuring Your G Spot – For some, the G Spot is elusive. For others, they can find it, but they have no idea what to do to have G Spot orgasms. This guide will show you how. Discover how to find your G Spot here.
How To Make Yourself Squirt – Almost all women can squirt. However, very few have experienced it. If you want to achieve the orgasmic thrill of female ejaculation, then you may want to check out this detailed, illustrated guide.
How To Use A Vibrator For Eye-Popping Orgasms – Using a vibrator is a highly satisfying way to add another enjoyable dimension to both masturbation and sex. If you want to learn how to get the most out of your vibrator, then you need to read the vibrator guide.
Using A Dildo The Right Way – If your man is not available, then using a dildo can be an ample alternative to him. But don’t think for a minute that using a dildo is simply about in and out movement. There is a whole lot more you can do with yours. Find out here.
How You Can Increase Clitoral Stimulation During Sex For More Orgasms – If you usually orgasm from clitoral stimulation during sex, then you need to read this chapter. It’s going to teach you every possible variation of rubbing, grinding, pressing and stroking so that your man gives you the perfect amount of clitoral stimulation for fist-clenching, neck-straining, screaming orgasms. Check out the clitoral stimulation guide here.
How To Experience Vaginal Orgasms Every Time – Many women struggle when it comes to vaginal orgasms. That’s why I put together this guide to show you exactly how to experience intense vaginal orgasms.
If you already find it easy to orgasm during sex and masturbation and just want to learn some new techniques, then my advice is to check out the chapters above that sound most exciting and fun. However if you currently struggle to orgasm, or you want to learn how to make yourself orgasm easily and reliably both alone and with your man, then keep reading.
Your Anatomy
The illustrations below indicate all the major parts of your anatomy that you need to pay attention to during sex and when masturbating. Pay particular attention to the most sensitive areas; this includes the clitoris, G Spot, and A Spot. These three areas are where you will get the most pleasure.Make sure to explore yourself thoroughly when masturbating as some women adore stimulating other areas like your labia or even around your anus.If you want a more thorough and in-depth breakdown of your anatomy, then you will find it here where I go into much more detail about each area in these diagrams.
Quick Quiz: Do You Give Lousy Blow Jobs?
If you are new here, then you may want to take the quiz below to learn how good you are at giving oral sex and satisfying your man. You may discover you that you suck (pun intended) or that you are already a blow job queen.
How To Make Yourself Orgasm Easily
Having an orgasm is all about being comfortable with yourself and letting go. Doing this alone first is going to be much easier than doing it with your man. So I suggest that you forget about him until you can reliably masturbate to orgasm by yourself. Once you can orgasm easily by yourself, then get your man involved.
Slow Build Up – You can’t rush orgasms. One thing I strongly recommend when learning how to orgasm is that you slowly (very slowly) build up to it. Think of it as foreplay. Start by having a long shower or bubble bath. Make sure to wash everywhere so that you feel fresh and clean. Dry yourself off and then when you are ready, slip into bed and then turn off the light.
The key, before you get started is to make sure that you feel hot, sexy & comfortable. So if you would feel sexier wearing lingerie, then wear it. If baggy pajamas are your thing, then put them on. But if you feel much sexier and free when you are completely naked then don’t wear anything at all. Remember having an orgasm is all about you, so do what makes you feel best.
The Actual Orgasm – First spend some time caressing your body with your hands. Try to concentrate on the areas that feel best to have stimulated. Then when you are ready to bring your pleasure to the next level, lower your hand(s) towards your vagina. Just above your vagina, is the clitoris, which is the most sensitive spot on the outside of your vagina, is closely linked to arousal [2] and is a pivotal part of your pleasure [3]. This feels like a little, sensitive ‘nub’ of skin and is easier to find when you are aroused.
Sex doesn’t always stimulate the clitoris, especially if your clitoris is smaller or further from your vagina [4], so you may think that you’ve been unable to orgasm. But at least one study suggests that learning more about the clitoris can help a woman orgasm for the more easily during masturbation [5] and once you know how to easily orgasm during masturbation, we believe it can become easier during sex.
I advise most women to concentrate on this area when they first start figuring out how to orgasm, while also paying some attention to the labia, which are the folds of skin on either side of your vagina on the outside. When you are stimulating your clit, you’ll find that you can get most pleasure by rubbing it from the ‘1 o’clock position’ if you imagined it to be a clock. The ‘one o’clock’ position is the upper left area of your clitoris, so it’s easiest to stimulate with your left hand. Experiment with applying different amounts of pressure to it to see what you enjoy the most.
Then it’s just a case of continuously stimulating your clit while focusing solely on the types of rubbing, pressing and caressing that are most enjoyable. As you do, the pressure and intensity will build and build to a peak until you orgasm.
If you have never made yourself orgasm before, then you’ll need to do a lot of experimentation to see what feels best for you, which is always fun. Thankfully, you’ll find an encyclopedia of techniques you can use throughout the different chapters of the Orgasm Guide (You can view the chapter list here).
If you are currently struggling to get in the mood for sex, then you may want to read the in-depth guide on how to increase your sex drive.
I Can’t Orgasm! Please Help!!!!
I made having an orgasm seem very simple in the paragraphs above. But, for some women, climaxing and reaching orgasm isn’t so easy. You see, there’s a significant mental component to making yourself orgasm.
For many women, there can be mental obstacles or blocks that can prevent you from fully relaxing and letting go, which makes climaxing and having an orgasm tough, and sometimes impossible. Overcoming these problems will make reaching orgasm much, much easier. These are the mental obstacles I’m talking about:
Stress – Stress is an obvious one. Of course, it’s going to be difficult to get aroused and feel sexual when feeling stressed about work, your kids or any other major problem [6]. But a lack of physical and emotional intimacy can lead you to feel stressed the next day , a terrible Catch-22!
Solution – Stress is a natural part of life, which we often can’t avoid. However, if every day of your life is incredibly stressful, then perhaps you need to take a step back, reassess and find some time to meditate or exercise or to simply have some “me time” so you can destress.
Also, studies have shown that having sex lowers stress the following day…and if you’re less stressed the following day you’re more likely to have sex [7]…it’s a virtuous cycle! So, sex can actually act as a de-stressing exercise for you and your man, in turn making it easier to orgasm.
Stressing About The Outcome – A funny thing happens when you stress out about trying to have an orgasm…studies have shown that getting stressed out about reaching orgasm correlates with difficulty achieving orgasm and makes it take longer too [8]. In other words, you can end up becoming so anxious and worried about whether you are using the right technique to orgasm that you stop focusing on what feels pleasurable and enjoyable.
Solution – Although this sounds counter-intuitive, you need to stop focusing on having an orgasm every time you masturbate or have sex. Instead, you need to focus on what feels most pleasurable. So experiment with different techniques and positions to see what you enjoy the most. As you do, you’ll notice that you naturally get closer and closer to orgasming.
Feeling pressure to perform – Feeling that you have to “perform” for your man or that he is watching you and judging you during sex, can make you clam up. This ultimately makes it much harder to let go and orgasm.
Solution – Talk to your man. Let him know what you need to feel comfortable and relaxed during sex. Once you talk to him, you may even find that he feels the same amount of pressure to perform for you.
It’s funny, guys often feel as much, if not more pressure to perform during sex. They worry about the size of their penis, maintaining their erection, preventing premature ejaculation, making sure you have a good time, whether or not you like their body and more.
Often, you’ll find that your guy is so worried about himself, that he isn’t even that focused on how you’re “performing”.
He can take off some of the pressure by learning what a man can do to make a woman orgasm so he can be more involved.
Body Confidence – If you don’t feel comfortable with your body, then you may feel self-conscious and out of the moment, which is obviously going to make it hard to feel sexy.
Solution – Giving you advice on how to become more comfortable with your body is difficult, but I can say that once you begin to accept your yourself for who are, you will find yourself becoming less self-conscious and notice that it becomes easier to reach orgasm.
Sexual Shame – If you’ve had a negative sexual experience in the past or were raised to believe that having sexual feelings and desires was wrong, then you may be dealing with some sexual shame. This sexual shame can act like a weight on your mind preventing you from fully letting go and orgasming [9].
Solution – Dealing with sexual shame can be as easy as noticing it when it arises and then consciously telling yourself that the feeling you are having (the sexual shame) is something that should be ignored. However, sometimes sexual shame runs a lot deeper, and you’ll need to talk to a licensed counselor or therapist to help you get rid of it.
Not Knowing Your Body – Knowing your body, what it responds to and what feels good is vital to learning how to make yourself orgasm. Once you know the right buttons to press to get yourself aroused and turned on, you’ll find that having an orgasm is super easy.
Solution – Experiment. To learn what your body likes best, you need to experiment and try out new things to see what your body responds to. You may find that nipple stimulation, anal masturbation, being submissive or softly brushing your clit in a certain way quickly brings you to the edge.
If you can overcome the above mental blocks, you will find reaching orgasm to be far, far easier.
Orgasm Aids
You don’t just have your use your hands to have an orgasm. And there is a bunch of things you can do to enhance your experience.
Vibrators
There is a massive range of different vibrators that you can use to help bring yourself to orgasm. If you are currently having a lot of trouble reaching orgasm using only your fingers, then you should think about using a vibrator. Vibrator users have also been shown to have better sexual function than non-users [10] so keep that in mind if you are on the fence about purchasing one.
This in-depth guide on how to use a vibrator for intense orgasms will teach you all the different and very fun techniques you can use with your vibrator to have muscle-spasming, eye-rolling orgasms.
Dildos
If you adore penetration, and it helps you get closer to orgasm, then you should definitely consider using a dildo when trying to make yourself orgasm. Just like with vibrators, they come in all shapes and sizes, so you can find one that hits all the right spots.
Read the detailed Dildo Guide here to learn all the different techniques you can use with your dildo to have some intense orgasms.
Fantasy
Fantasy sounds like quite a general topic as there is a massive range of fantasies that you might have. Whatever they are, you will find it much easier to orgasm if you indulge in them. So if there is an actor or famous person that you adore, try watching a video of him while you masturbate yourself. You can also listen to a recording of him or even a song. If there is a good piece of erotica that gets you going, then have a read of it.
Different people have different fantasies which is totally normal. Try indulging yours while masturbating. You’ll find that when you do, it’s a lot easier to bring yourself to orgasm.
Now What?
This first chapter of the Orgasm Guide will get you started on your journey to having more orgasms alone and with your man.
But what about specific techniques?
I’m glad you asked! To learn specific techniques to masturbate with, check out this guide which focuses on your clit and this guide which concentrates on fingering yourself and penetration.
If you want to learn how to orgasm more with your man during sex, then check out this guide on clitoral stimulation during sex and this one on having vaginal orgasms during sex. For easy reference, here are all the chapters to the Orgasm Guide:
Chapter 1 – Introduction & Overview On How To Orgasm (you’re currently reading this chapter)
Chapter 2 – Clitoral Masturbation Techniques
Chapter 3 – Fingering Yourself To Orgasm
Chapter 4 – Finding Your G Spot
Chapter 5 – How To Squirt Like A Pornstar
Chapter 6 – Using A Vibrator Alone & During Sex For More Orgasms
Chapter 7 – Tips On How To Climax With Your Dildo
Chapter 8 – How To Increase Clitoral Stimulation During Sex With Your Man
Chapter 9 – The Secret To Vaginal Orgasms & Full Body Bliss
Orgasm Every Time. Easily. Here’s How...
I want to tell you about my friend Karen.
Karen came to me one day. She was hysterical.
She told me that her marriage was falling apart because she and her husband didn’t have satisfying sex.
Every time they were intimate, Karen was faking her orgasms. It turns out she couldn’t orgasm during sex.
In fact...
She never had an orgasm in her entire life. Not one!
This left her feeling embarrassed and ashamed.
Even worse...
She stopped wanting sex with her husband, slowly driving him away, and...
Almost destroying her marriage. Thankfully...
It turns out that there is a simple solution for women who struggle to orgasm, whether you are having sex or masturbating.
I shared the process with Karen.
After she followed the simple process, she could barely come to terms with how...
Quickly and dramatically her sex life changed.
We met up a few months later and...
She would not stop talking about it,
“I thought I was one of those women who couldn’t orgasm. I used to think I was ‘broken’ and ‘unfixable.’ This saved my sex life, and that saved my marriage.”
Even if you currently struggle to orgasm during sex or while masturbating, this process will also work for you.
And best of all, you don’t need to do anything weird or uncomfortable to start having the best orgasms and sex of your life.
Tell me how to get your tutorial on squirting orgasms. Ive never had one and have been reading up on them. My man has tried to giveme one but it seems to take so long for me, but each time we try i seem to get closer to one..
Hi Sandi,
You might be interested in checking out this page for more information on how to finger yourself and squirt.
I can’t seem to squirt too no matter how hard I try
Most of the time, unless its just a little and goes shooting out, i think squirting, from what i learned, is just pee. it happens 75% of the time and every time i might as well have wet the bed, towel or no. Doesnt exactly make for a fun time when a guy’s doing something thst feels amazing like putting all he’s got into eating u out but u have to make yourself not cum because he has nice sheets. I can make myself or a guy come just from doing kegals but it doesnt help with this problem. I’d pay any amount of money for someone to show me how i can let myself go and cum hard without having “squirted” everywhere. And yes, some guys love it, or love me, blah blah blah, but i only dare cum if i have sex in the shower. Nothing can undo the years before i knew what it was, then the humiliation of thinking it was normal only for some jerk to laugh and tell me i just wet the bed. Then tell my friends. I just turned 37 and my girlfriends still tease me about it even though a couple have told me they have the same issue so have never orgasmed with a man. And you can call that guy a jerk but how would you react if a guy peed in your bed? Again, Kegals don’t rectify this and it’s prob enough liquid to fill a urine specimen cup. I mean it SOAKS the sheets. Esp. if I’m using a wand or something too powerful. The worst is that it happens right before i cum so its not like i can get to the precipice and chill out there for a while. Tell me how to fix this and i will sing your praises for the rest of my natural life.
I’m so sad to hear these guys made you feel bad about yourself. No one should ever have the right to make someone feel less then. You’re a beautiful woman that should be celebrated! You should check out the O’Actualy podcast. She just did a really informational podcast on squirting and the female prostate. I think it could give you some amazing insight. Apparently female ejaculation is equivalent to coconut water not pee. You may also want to look into the Venus mat. It’s a sex mat that’s very absorbent. Hope this helps! ????
i have the same problem as J – when i get aroused i “pee” and i hate it. it feels like im close to cumming and then instead of experiencing orgasm what feels like tons of liquid comes out.
Sean – any techniques to control / stop the liquid and reach orgasm?
I will try it
I have been squirting for a while now but I just recently began creaming. When I feel the feeling to cum my partner of 14 years who is definitely sexually obsessed as am I, I relax completely! He can tell it’s coming so he speeds up or just gives longer and deeper strokes then I just push and wipe out!! ! I’ve literally lost count of how many times I squirted during a few sessions. Wondering like where did all of this liquid come from!?? But creaming is effortless! And it makes him cum faster. It’s really fun to be able to do both but it only happened because I’m a masturbating Queen! I was told to always be able to make yourself come quicker than anyone!! Great sex master advice!
hi sean,honestly when i first tried this it was my friend (hes a boy) he was slagging me off saying omg how can u not do stuff like this and i first looked it all up i tried it and nothing worked then i found this site and wow i feel so amazing after it,but is it normal for a teenager to want to do this like 3 times a week
Sounds normal to me
Ask your man to work with his middle finger on you clitorus like rubbing it slowly and then inserting inside then pressing while inserting it with love n care for some time means few minutes before you start then take a ride as you both can you will enjoy the ride n will get atleast 2 or more depens again on you both
YEAH I HAD THE SAME PROBLEM BUT I CAN MAKE MYSELF SQUIRT CONTINUOUSLY I LIKE JUST 5 MINS
can you tell me how to?!
Okay when I finger myself it feels really good but then I start to like shake is it normal to shake like your legs? Thanks
This is completely natural.
Yes thats an orgasm
No matter what I do, I can’t seem to cum unless its with myself. And I get a weird sort of tingly feeling when my boyfriend tries to rub my clit and it makes me feel a little uncomfortable and edgy. He just won’t give up until I cum with him, but my body won’t let me. I masturbate by myself, but it doesn’t seem to help when I’m with him..
Let him know your situation Valentina. Then maybe try masturbating yourself beside him and try orgasm that way. Then slowly build up to the point where you are comfortable masturbating yourself during sex. You can even show him what sort of pressure you like and enjoy during masturbation so your man knows what you need.
I cant orgasm!!!:(
Help I can’t cum don’t know how to and were to can u help
Hi there yes cum taste is more like coconut cream n I just love its amazing taste. Its sounds bit freaky however the act is simply unstoppable when it comes to taste busty voluptous vaginal cum.
U r nervous i bet.
Ok so…I just recently got a vibrating dildo and I was going this would teach me how to properly use it. I’m still confused as to how I can make myself orgasm using it.
The key is focusing on what feels pleasurable. Try not to worry too much about “reaching a peak”. Just focus on what you enjoy and after a few sessions you’ll find that you get closer and closer to orgasm.
hey, actually I did masturbate for almost a year with my clit -only- , i didn’t had a boyfriend and didn’t had sex so it was easy and fast and enjoyable, now I have sex occasionally with my partner but i can’t have vaginal orgasm, i tried it when i’m alone but it almost goes to the top of the mountain but no orgasm, do you suggest anything? how can I make my body forget the clitoral stimulation and have vaginal orgasms?
First try having a vaginal orgasm on your own before trying it with your partner. When trying it on your own, avoid any clitoral stimulation, even if you don’t have any orgasm the first few times you try it. Focus on what you find most enjoyable. This will make it immeasurably easier to have a vaginal orgasm.
Yes please show me how but
I finger myself constantly but when I get close to orgasm I have a hard time finishing. How can I have a vaginal orgasm?
The key is relaxing and only focusing on what you find most pleasurable. Don’t focus on the orgasm itself, only on what you find most pleasurable.
Hi Sean,
I know this isn’t the section on blowjobs but I’m wondering if there may be a reason why my guy isn’t overly excited about blowjobs? I’ve given him blowjobs on several occassions n based on the outcome I’d say he liked it but now he doesn’t ask for them n the last time I was about to give him one he stopped me, saying that he wanted to pleasure me first but I never got to return d favor. What can I do?
Hi Christina,
Honestly I would take his word for this. Some guys just aren’t into blow jobs that much. Really! Some people also genuinely get deep pleasure and satisfaction from pleasuring their partner. This sounds like the case with your man from what you are describing here.
I have a sex toy and it can really pump me up, however I just can’t seem to orgasm or don’t feel like in any closer. I don’t find finger stimuli really working for me just insertion of my toy, perhaps I’m thinking to much but it’s not easy for me to get anywhere near comfortable or pleasurable enough to orgasm. Any advice?
Just focus on what feels most pleasurable, NOT the orgasm itself. With time you will learn exactly what your body needs to get closer and closer to orgasming.
Im 48 yrs old n recently started watching porn with my boyfriend. I have 2toys i was ashamed of sex till i met him . but everytime im close to him in any way i get wet n i really need to know why?he says its good thing?ive gotten close to other guys but it just happens with him???
It’s a physical response to people you are attracted to.
Each and every man I slept with I never get orgasm/ climax I feel nothing,,, I feel so nice only when I masturbate….. Do u think I have a problem please help what must I do I love sex :0
Do I have to squirt to orgasm?
Nope 🙂
Hey I’ve only had sex with one guy and i love him but I’ve never orgasmed while we’ve had sex. It feels great and I love having sex, but I never “cum”. When we first started having sex I was tense so it didn’t happen then but now I’m not and I still don’t cum. I don’t know what it is because I’ve never orgasmed by myself neither, so do you recommend that I buy a dildo or vibrator? Does it matter that he has never eaten me out before? Lastly, he feels like I’m not totally comfortable with him because I don’t cum and it bothers him is there something I can do?
Try getting a vibrator. It can massively increase your chances of orgasm
Hi I’m 45 and when I orgamas I shake and cry not because it hurt is this normal
Sounds pretty normal Jp. Different people react to orgasms differently.
Sean
I’m trying to have an orgasm for a year and nothing. I have tried masturbating and not thinking about the orgasm, and thinking, and with porn and without it, any time a day, but I just couldn’t get there. After a year, it’s only getting worse, as I can’t help myself think I will never have an orgasm. I don’t know what to do… I really feel like I can’t do anything more, but I must and don’t know what.
Hi Samantha,
Maybe you should try a new strategy…try focusing on only what is pleasurable. Don’t focus on having an orgasm at all. Instead, only focus on what feels enjoyable, even if it’s only the slightest bit enjoyable for you. The goal should always be pleasure, not just getting to the orgasm.
Sean
It takes me forever to cum..when i use my wand…like i just did..20 minutes. Snd the only way i can cum is oral never vaginal.
And ive also realized when i was with my girls dad he would want me to touch myself while we were having sex. But when i try woth my fingers i feel nothing. When he does it surr feels great..but cant orgasim..nothing..
I can’t orgasm. I’m 26. Not by myself and not by a man. I have spoken to doctors and pshycologists. I don’t know what to do. Everyone says it’s amazing. The guy I’m seeing is understanding but I stopped wanting ro have sex because it does nothing for me and now he is really starting to get angry with me. I don’t know what to do. I’ve even taken med for it. Tried everything
There can be a bunch of reasons, like a past trauma or negative experience or even just a lack of sensitivity. My advice is to start masturbating to teach you body how to orgasm. This guide will get you started.
I was 33 before I had my first O. My entire life I was always in a relationship and the guys were definitely experienced so I thought!! Lol every sense I had lost my virginity, I just never found sex or foreplay or masterbation to be that great because I was never reaching an orgasm. So I thought something was wrong with me (as my last bf had pointed out. And made me think it was my fault I couldn’t) little to find out It wasnt me, it was the guys I was with..i wasnt with guys who were experienced enough, or cared to pleasure me in reaching the O..like this new guy. If I start to touch him, he will make sure we are both being pleasured together same time..or he will always take care of me first..making sure and he will not, stop unless i am reaching the O first.
I still cannot get myself to Orgasm, but the first time he got me to hit the O.. it took like 15-20min. It did not seem long, and he said I hit 3 back to back. It was BEYOND INCREDIBLE.
I cant say this would be your golden ticket, and idk how your relationship is and if it’s someone you truly want to be with for awhile. But if he wants you to as much as you, maybe discuss a possible break or hall pass of some sort. It can simply be a guy friend you know that has that experience to get you to. I’ll check back encase you reply 🙂
I love sex. I have great clotoris organisms but I don’t get vaginally orgasisms. But even when I get my clitoris orgasisms I don’t get too much fluid coming out of my vagina. Is this normal?
Sounds perfectly normal
Hey, I’m 26 and absolutely love sex, I have a high sex drive and I’m very naughty and open minded in the bedroom but I struggle to cum, I don’t no if I have ever cum. I get asked a lot if I squirt which the answer is no. What am I doing wrong? And how do I know if I have cum? (Daft question maybe).
Becky
Becky, reaching orgasm is hard to describe other than it feels like you’ve hit a peak in pleasure that quickly drops after about 5 seconds. The key is focusing on pleasurable sensations and not getting overly concerned with the orgasm itself. Over time, as you do this, you’ll come closer and closer to orgasming. Vibrators also help!
I have fingered myself but i cant get an orgasm ive taken nice baths and everything and i cant orgasm and when i get close i stop and cant get the way i felt back until yhe next day… Any advice
Hi Lucy, try some of these techniques, they should help.
Hi,
So I’ve recently learned how to squirt via g spot but I don’t really know if that’s like the same as an actual orgasm? And I also never did it while stimulating my clit.
If you climax and peak, then you also had an orgasm
I’m in my 40’s and I have never had any kind of an orgasm, ever. Not alone or with a partner.
The closest I’ve come is from oral…but it goes from feeling good to incredibly painful rather quickly and I have to stop him.
During vaginal sex I don’t feel any kind of pleasure or sensation. Even with vibrators there is just no sensation.
I do desire sex, so what is wrong with me?
Best way to orgasm,is getting the shower head.I like to put it on high and put it right on my clit,it gives me 4,5 orgasms.It feels fantastic!
I’ll try that
Hi, I have a question… I never asked this someone and I am not embarrassed but it is a bit weird to ask this in general for me right now but… whether if it is masturbating or having sex with my bf… maybe this is all too obvious but for me somehow not.. for example when having sex at some point it becomes all too much for me..like I feel so much I just need a break. As in.. the sex becomes overwhelming? So I tell him I need a 1-2 seconds break… if he would continue…would I come then? Is that a sign for that? Because I always stopped, it was just too much for me :’D. He asked me why I need a break some days ago and that is why I think about it now… I would like to experience that as well…not only always him! So he assumed I was tired and asked if I say it, because I am tired. Haha hell no. He tells me he needs a break but I know he says that ,because he would come too early for his liking I would say.. hm I think with me it is the same? I told him I feel so much and he said next time I “beg” for a break he will just not listen… So I guess I just obey then? Never thought it is that intensive…well I never had it so the “pre” phase is that extreme?? I just cannot believe it.. I just do not know what to do…it is SO hard should I grab him then? This is always so intense I would scream or something but somehow maybe I am too shy? Please help…
Try continuing and see what happens
Hey when I get on top of my man I get super nervous and Idk what too do and I never had orgams how can I have one please help
This guide should help you to ride your man with confidence.
What isthe name of that sexual meditation that couples can do together to become more connected i can’t find the articlei want to try it with my partner.
Orgasmic meditation?
I also have huge problems orgasming. I know a lot of it is mental, but it doesn’t help for me to just relax and focus on the feeling good part. I get so frustrated because my husband can be working on me for 30-40 minutes and I can get right up to the edge and then everything drops off, go away and I’m never able to come. Sometimes I let it die down, like the edging technique, where you build it up and die down and build it up and so on…. But that doesn’t work either. Almost every time I can get to the edge where I’m about to organ, but I can never get to the other side. And since this has been going on for ages I’m so frustrated now that it’s hard to not have orgasming as the end goal. I’ve also used just my fingers and also toys. Done it solo and with my husband. But, it never feels as good to explore my body as if someone else is touching me, so it’s not the same.
Do you have any other tricks or methods for teaching yourself to orgasm? Help to get over mental blocks or the frustration of needing to orgasm because you get so close and never can?
Sorry for the long question!
Hey please can you help me? I can never orgasm or squirt. I don’t have a bf and I’m still a virgin. I stimulate my clit whenever I masterbait. But I tried fingering myself 2 times and it doesn’t feel pleasurable at all, infact, it just makes me feel like I have to pee. I really want to be able to orgasm! When I stimulate my clit I know that I’ve finished but I never squirt or have an orgasm. My legs shake for a minimum of 3 seconds then I’m ‘done’. It’s so upsetting because I want to orgasm and squirt, I really do! But I can’t 🙁 please help me
A lot of women have orgasm only by clitoral stimulation. You just need to be in a safe place comfortable and explore your body. Turn on some music; think about your crush. . Don’t rush it. Use one hand to spread your labia as you’re getting into it you’ll feel your clit swell. Btw your clit is that little ball at the top, but goes way down the sides of the inside labia. Try making a V and rubbing the sides too. Use lube, lots of lube if u want to. Don’t get discouraged. When you are vaginally penetrating give a come here motion with your fingers. That peeing sensation is totally normal and means your about to come/ squirt..
Please I really need an advice. I havnt squirted or cum since I started have sex for close to 3yrs now…I don’t really know the problem but sometimes I feel it’s because I was circumcised though am not really sure if that’s the actual problem
Any tips for vaginal penetration?
My vagina is way too tight. It’s difficult to even finger myself or insert a tampon. The pain is really a turn off and it takes a while for me to get going again after penetration, because of how uncomfortable and painful the experience was. Any idea what this could be and how to fix it?
This sounds like a medical condition, and I would recommend contacting your doctor.
I’ve tried everything you’ve told me but I can’t orgasm. I’ve never had one before and I want to know what to do to have an orgasm. Each time I’ve tried I pee instead. I don’t know what an orgasm feels like but I need help. Please if you know what I can do to have my first orgasm let me know.
Sounds like you’re squirting.
I don’t moan during sex or get orgasms… am I normal?
As long as you’re enjoying yourself, this sounds completely normal
My gf had some horrible experiences with her ex and she doesn’t want to reach orgasm… I understand her but I kinda feel bad cause she’s not having the full experience. Every time that she’s about to reach it she pulls me away. Is there any way that I can make her want to reach it? We’ve talked about it and the only way she would get into it is if we reach at the same time but that’s kinda hard
It’s tough to give you an answer here Franco. You guys will understand your situation a lot better than I do, so ultimately it’s up to you. The key is maintaining great communication with each other.
Hi my name is maria & i am paralyzed from my waist down. I really want to have an orgasm. I enjoy caressing my nipples but I don’t get strong orgasm. I also get urges to get my nipples sucked but I’m single. I also want to squirt please please HELP ME! Thank you in advance.
Maria
Is there any vaginal techniques out there that could be useful? Or other was to tighten the vaginal area?
Check out the guide to Kegels.
Can I order a paperback or hard cover book? I only see download versions.
Only downloadable version are available. This is for a bunch of reasons:
1) I can offer you more for less as you do not have to pay for shipping.
2) For discretion. You can rename the files and even password protect them for privacy.
3) You get to access them immediately instead of waiting 7-14 days for delivery.
4) You can transfer the books between devices (e.g. From your computer to Android phone, Kindle, iPad etc.)
5) You never lose the books! If you happen to lose your phone or lose access to the books, just shoot me a quick email and I will resend you access.
As someone who is blessed to achieve orgasms a number of ways, the most easy for me is clitoral orgasm but the strongest are cervical orgasms. I love this article and ways to improve knowledge for women on their bodies and achieving orgasms.
Odd question: What does an orgasm feel like?
This guide explains what an orgasm feels like.
Hey Sean, I’ve been masterbating for a couple of months now and can honestly say it hasn’t gotten any better. When I first started i got the most amazing feeling but now it’s just ok. Also before, even the slightest things would turn me on now nothing does. What can I do?? :((
There are many things that can interfere with your ability to get aroused and reach orgasm. New medications, stress, anxiety or something else. Has anything changed in your life over the last few months?
No I don’t think much has changed, maybe I’ve been a bit more stressed but I didn’t think that would affect me for reaching orgasm or getting aroused. Do you think that’s the problem? If so how do you think I can fix it?
It is so good to have a sex with a girl.. i want more tips to have a sex with many vaginas..
I had my first vaginal orgasm tonight. It was amazing. We weren’t even having sex. I gave him a very slow, sensual blow job, starting with his balls and licking him for a long time. I usually squirt, but this time it was a different sensation. I was so amazing, my vagina kept pulsing. I didn’t squirt until a couple of minutes after I finished him off
I don’t cum no matter what my partner does
Sorry to hear that, have you checked out our guide on why you can’t orgasm?