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If you’ve already read the in-depth orgasm guide on how to pleasure yourself and have earth shattering orgasms, but want more specific masturbation techniques, then you’re in luck! Below you will find 14 different masturbation techniques & tips to guarantee you have super powerful orgasms. The other great reason to read this article is to understand fully your anatomy and what parts of your vagina give you the most pleasure, which seems to be key to having an orgasm during masturbation [1].
You’ll find that you enjoy some of these masturbation techniques more than others when trying to make yourself cum. The key is trying them all out and then figuring out which ones you enjoy the most. While the below techniques all focus on your clit, you can read another masturbation guide for fingering and penetrating yourself here. You may also find that masturbating will help increase your libido.
Orgasm troubles? If you are currently struggling to orgasm during sex or masturbation, then you may want to learn about the Easy Orgasm Solution. It will teach you how to have multiple vaginal and full body orgasms during sex and masturbation. It works even if you currently struggle to orgasm during sex or when masturbating. You can find out more here.
Podcast: 20 Intense Masturbation Techniques For Powerful Orgasms
Before we start, I wanted to let you know that I recorded a podcast on the 20 intense masturbation techniques you need to know for having powerful orgasms. Enjoy!
Listen to more Bad Girls Bible podcast episodes here
Ok, let’s start with some of the basic masturbation techniques, then move onto the more advanced techniques.
1. Up & Down
This first masturbation technique will get you started and is super easy. You’ll be focusing on the clit, and all you need to do is to take a finger and just start rubbing up and down on one side of it like in the illustration above. If you want more stimulation, then try rubbing your finger directly over your clit.
It’s that simple, but of course, you can experiment with how hard you rub your finger, how fast and the length of the strokes. This is also an easy technique to use on yourself while you are giving your man a blow job (Read the in-depth, illustrated Blow Job Guide here).
If you want to give your man back-arching, toe-curling, screaming orgasms that will keep him sexually addicted to you (and bragging about you to his friends!), then you'll find them in my private and discreet newsletter. You'll also learn the 5 dangerous & "dumb" sex mistakes that turn him off and how to avoid them. You can get it here.
2. The Long Slow Stroke
Using one or more fingers, very lightly and softly glide over the middle of your vagina and clitoris, from bottom to top like in the illustration above. Listen to your body to feel which areas provide the most pleasure and stimulation when touched.
Then experiment with fast strokes, slower strokes, as well as using more or less pressure. Also try switching direction, starting at your clit and rubbing downwards or rubbing up and down. You may not orgasm from this, but it’s a great masturbation technique for exploring all of your vagina to see what is most pleasurable and reacts most intensely to your touch.
3. From Side To Side
This is another simple and straightforward masturbation technique focusing on your clitoris. As the name suggests, you are going to rubbing your finger from side to side over your clit.
Some women prefer indirect contact here, barely touching their clit, while others need more intense contact and pressure to enjoy themselves. As always, you’ll need to try different variations for yourself to see what you enjoy. Here are a few ideas
- Try different speeds.
- Change the amount of pressure you use.
- Try using some lube.
- Vary how many fingers you use (one, two, three or four)
- Switch between direct and indirect contact
This masturbation technique is perfect to use during any doggy style sex position if you want to add in a little extra clitoral stimulation. You can find 11 different doggy style sex positions to try here.
4. Fantastic Fun With Four Fingers
This may be the most used and effective masturbation technique of the 14 listed here, as you will have four fingers running over and rubbing your clit, making it easy to climax. Performing this technique is a simple case of holding your four fingers together and rubbing them over your clit and vagina in a circular motion as demonstrated above.
You can rub in small circles to mostly focus on your clit, or your can use larger circles to stimulate your labia, U spot and the rest of your vagina too.
This masturbation technique is also great if you like giving yourself extra stimulation during sex when you can easily access your clit. Of course, your man can also take over during sex and use this technique on you. Doggy Style (check it out here) is the perfect position for this as both of you will have easy, unhindered access to your clitoris.
Quick Quiz: Do You Give Lousy Blow Jobs?
If you are new here, then you may want to take the quiz below to learn how good you are at giving oral sex and satisfying your man. You may discover you that you suck (pun intended) or that you are already a blow job queen.
5. U Spot
So many women don’t seem to know about the U Spot. I’ve indicated it with a slightly darker shade of pink in the diagram below (please note that it does not have any distinct coloring in real life). As you can see, it’s the area of skin just above your urethral opening and to the sides of it.
To stimulate it you just need to gently stroke it with the tip of your finger like in the illustration below. While rubbing only your U Spot is super pleasurable, an even better masturbation technique is to rub softly from your U Spot right up to your clitoris and back down again (demonstrated in the diagram below).
If you’re not already wet when rubbing your U Spot, then make sure to use some lube. And don’t be afraid to venture a bit off course and start massaging your labia or clit to vary the sensation.
For some women, the U Spot can extend higher than in this illustration, to right below the clitoris.
6. Love That Shower Head
If you don’t use the shower head or faucet to masturbate, you are missing out! Women have been using this method to masturbate for decades [2]. While it’s a more hands off masturbation technique, it feels incredible and entirely different to your finger. All you need is a faucet that you can maneuver your vagina under so that the water can freely flow over it or a shower head that you can direct towards your vagina.
I don’t know the exact science behind it, but everyone that tries it reports that the running water feels wonderful and can help you get off very, very quickly. So experiment with the settings on your shower head to find out what feels best. Quick Hint: You may find that the ‘pulse’ setting is best. One of the benefits of masturbating in the shower is that if you are trying to experience female ejaculation, everything gets quickly washed away by the water. And if you want to learn how to make yourself squirt, then check out the squirting guide here.
Related: 12 kinky sex positions in the shower.
A constant question: I consistently get emails asking how to orgasm more easily & often during sex. I usually recommend this 3 step system that makes it a lot easier (& fun!). You can also see people's reactions to it here 😉
7. Under The Hood
Some women have a super-sensitive clitoris. Often it’s so sensitive, that it can feel almost unpleasant to touch. If you are one of these women, then you may find that using many of my masturbation techniques to be too uncomfortable…and possibly even painful.
If that’s the case, then instead of using my masturbation techniques to apply pressure directly to your clit, you need to use your clitoral hood as a sort of buffer or shield instead. That’s the flap of skin just above your clit that covers it. I’ve indicated it in the illustration above with a slightly darker shade of pink (in real life your clitoral hood has no distinct color).
So if you have an overly sensitive clit, then try rubbing your clitoral hood instead of your clit. You’ll notice that it’s a lot more pleasurable and not so sensitive. Alternatively, you may want to use some of these fingering techniques instead.
8. Hood Life
You may have the opposite problem to the one I mentioned above in Under The Hood. You may happen to be someone who suffers from a lack of sensitivity and so need all the rubbing, grinding, touching & stimulation you can get on your clitoris. No problem, there is a pretty simple solution. To allow yourself to stimulate your clit intensely, you’re going to need to expose it more. It’s easy, and the demonstration above should be all you need to expose it more.
As you can see, by placing your fingers above your clit and on either side of it, then slowly pulling the skin backwards, you will pull back the clitoral hood and expose it much more. While pulling back your clitoral hood is not exactly a masturbation technique; it will allow you to use your other hand or a vibrator to stimulate it more directly. This can also be helpful in certain positions during sex if you want more intense clitoral stimulation. You can learn more clitoral stimulation techniques here.
9. Orgasmic Meditation
When I first heard the words, “Orgasmic Meditation” I sort of imagined people practicing tantra. In a way, orgasmic meditation is sort of like tantric sex as there is a process you are supposed to follow and the end goal is not necessarily having an orgasm. So what does orgasmic meditation have to do with stimulating your clitoris?
Everything
The basic technique involves both you and your man. You need to start by getting comfortable while lying down on your back with your legs spread right open. Then your man needs to get into a comfortable position sitting down to your right side with his left leg bent and over your stomach and his right leg under your right leg. He then needs to start stroking the upper left quadrant of your clit with just one lubricated finger very slowly and lightly. I’ve indicated this upper left quadrant area between the dotted lines in the illustration above. His touch should be as light as possible.
Gain sexual confidence: My most powerful tips for gaining sexual confidence and enjoying sex are in my private and discreet sex tips newsletter. You can find out more about it here.
The masturbation technique he needs to use – He’s going to move his finger a few millimeters back and forth making sure to apply only the slightest amount of pressure to your clit. Some women report that it just feels too frustrating, and they can’t keep doing it for long, that it seems like they are teasing themselves, while others say that the longer they do it, the better it feels.
My advice is to try it at least once and do your absolute best to hold out for as long as you can, making sure to use the very least amount of pressure possible. At a minimum, it can serve as great foreplay for your masturbation session.
Of course, we don’t believe in strict rules for performing this masturbation technique; we merely see these instructions as a guideline for getting more enjoyment out of masturbation and foreplay. So feel free to experiment with it and see for yourself what is the most pleasurable and enjoyable way to perform orgasmic meditation with your partner.
10. The Squeeze
The squeeze is a little-known masturbation technique involving your clit. Everyone seems to understand that the clit is one of the most densely packed areas of nerve endings in your body [3]! – what many people fail to realize is that it extends back inside you and along the vagina as well.
So the visible tip of the clitoris isn’t the only sensitive part. The base of the clitoris, known as the clitoral bulb [4], isn’t visible but is also hyper sensitive…and we’re going to use the ‘squeeze’ technique to stimulate it!
All you need to do is place your thumb and index finger on either side of the clitoris like in the illustration above. Then press down and inwards so that you are ‘squeezing’ it between the folds of skin surrounding it. Start with very gentle pressure. You’ll quickly notice that you can squeeze it with a lot of pressure without it being uncomfortable.
Then it’s just a simple case of playing around with your clit between the folds of skin, by rolling it between your index finger and thumb.
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Of course, if you do like a little more pressure or even pain, then you might like the sadism and masochism elements of BDSM!
One fun variation of this masturbation technique is to imagine that it’s a tiny penis and that you can jerk it up and down slightly.
As I keep repeating, the most important thing you can do is lots of experimentation to see what you enjoy the most with this masturbation technique. And if you have a squeeze technique that you enjoy, please let everyone know in the comment section. If you are looking for even more great tips on how to have powerful orgasms (alone & with your man), then make sure to check out the Orgasm Guide here.
11. Your Lovely Labia
Rubbing and stimulating your labia is kind of like foreplay for masturbation. It may not bring you to orgasm, but it’s an excellent way to build up to more intense masturbation techniques. There are plenty of ways to rub your labia:
- Run your fingers up and down them like in the illustration above.
- Press and squeeze them together
- Use lube to give yourself a more “silky” feeling.
- And of course, you can run different materials over them too.
12. Humping & Grinding Your Pillow
Many women first learn to masturbate through humping or grinding or rubbing against a pillow, toy, blanket or bed [5]. This masturbation technique is perfect for stimulating your clit and labia at the same time. You’ll find that you get most friction, stimulation, and pleasure if you are wearing your panties or nothing at all while grinding off your pillow. As always, discovering what you prefer comes down to experimentation. Here are a few different ways to do it.
- If you have a long pillow, you can lie down on your side with it between your legs. Then squeeze your legs together to grip it and pull it backward so that it is pressing against your labia and clit, aka syntribation. From here, you can also start grinding on the pillow.
- If you don’t have a long pillow like the one in the picture above, grab a mid-sized one and turn it on its side and straddle it. Or fold it in half and straddle it, whichever works best. Then rest your weight right down on it. Before you start grinding on it, you can adjust it so that it’s pressed firmly against your vagina. Then move your vagina up and down the pillow and ride it to orgasm!
- Another great way to provide even more pressure and stimulation to your vagina when pleasuring yourself is to cover your pillow tightly with a towel before you start masturbating with it. This way you will be grinding on something slightly rougher. It also helps to prevent your pillow from getting wet. Bonus Tip: You can also experiment with putting different things like stuffed toys or electric toothbrushes under the towel for different sensations.
- Using a pillow is the most basic version of this masturbation technique. Why not try grinding on your man the next time you are making out with him. Simply straddle his thigh and start grinding!
13. Pearl Necklace
The Pearl Necklace is a masturbation technique that requires a pearl necklace or any necklace that has a lot of round beads on it. So even something like a cheap Mardi Gras bead necklace works great too.
When performing this masturbation technique, you will want to be either on your knees or standing up. You’ll then need to hold one end of the necklace in front of you with one hand and then reach down your back with your other hand to grab the other end of the necklace so that it’s between your legs.
Quick Warning: While this instructional video is quite distressing, it will teach you how to make your lover cry with orgasmic pleasure and become sexually addicted to you. If you are interested in having someone completely obsessed with you and only you, then check out the detailed (& explicit!) oral sex tutorial video here.
Then it’s just a case of slowly pulling the necklace forward and backwards, allowing it to run over your vagina, labia and clit. It’s a lot of fun and can be even better if you use a little bit of lube on the pearls.
Don’t feel limited to only using a necklace; there are plenty of other great things to perform the Pearl Necklace with like a towel, satin scarf or anything that gives you pleasurable sensations.
Quick Note: I don’t advise you trying the pearl necklace if the necklace you are using is expensive in case it breaks. Consider using a cheaper Mardi Gras necklace or even clean anal beads, instead.
If you are interested in learning about the other “pearl necklace” technique, where your man cums on your neck, you can learn everything there is to know about it here.
14. Vibrator Time
Vibrators…Some call it cheating while many more have positive opinions of vibrators [6] and more than half of all women have used one [7].. and for good reason! The orgasms they facilitate are typically easier and often more intense.
Everyone has their own personal preferences, so I don’t want to prescribe any one technique as the “only” or best technique. Here are a few ideas to get you going:
- Some adore rubbing their vibrators all over their bodies and can even orgasm from using them on their breasts and nipples. Learn more about nipple play here.
- Some love feeling the vibrations indirectly on their clit. Direct stimulation can sometimes be too much. So use masturbation tip #7 & tip #9 if that sounds like you. Some people even recommend placing a towel between the toy and your clitoris [8].
- Some need direct stimulation on their clit to cum. Masturbation technique #8 will help you get lots of direct stimulation.
- Some adore running their vibrator up and down their labia. Check out masturbation technique #11 for some powerful labia pleasuring ideas.
- Some adore being penetrated by their vibrator. This guide on using a dildo will teach you the most important spots to focus on when penetrating yourself with your vibrator.
By the way, if you are using a vibrator to masturbate, my advice is to play around with it and see what you enjoy most. There is no “one size fit all” method or technique to using a vibrator to orgasm. For more tips & info on how to use your vibrator, check out this guide here.
Quick Warning: This tutorial video will teach you how to make your girl collapse with unending pleasure and become sexually addicted to you. If you are interested in having her completely obsessed with you and only you, then check out this slightly crazy & explicit pussy eating tutorial video here.
Even More Masturbation Techniques
All of these 14 masturbation techniques & tips above focus on your clitoris, but there is a lot more to satisfying masturbation than just your clit. If you want to learn how to masturbate by penetrating and fingering yourself, then you’ll be glad to know that I created an entirely separate guide here. Inside, you will learn how to finger yourself and have back-arching, eye-popping orgasms. Click here to read it now.
Orgasm Every Time. Easily. Here’s How...
I want to tell you about my friend Karen.
Karen came to me one day. She was hysterical.
She told me that her marriage was falling apart because she and her husband didn’t have satisfying sex.
Every time they were intimate, Karen was faking her orgasms. It turns out she couldn’t orgasm during sex.
In fact...
She never had an orgasm in her entire life. Not one!
This left her feeling embarrassed and ashamed.
Even worse...
She stopped wanting sex with her husband, slowly driving him away, and...
Almost destroying her marriage. Thankfully...
It turns out that there is a simple solution for women who struggle to orgasm, whether you are having sex or masturbating.
I shared the process with Karen.
After she followed the simple process, she could barely come to terms with how...
Quickly and dramatically her sex life changed.
We met up a few months later and...
She would not stop talking about it,
“I thought I was one of those women who couldn’t orgasm. I used to think I was ‘broken’ and ‘unfixable.’ This saved my sex life, and that saved my marriage.”
Even if you currently struggle to orgasm during sex or while masturbating, this process will also work for you.
And best of all, you don’t need to do anything weird or uncomfortable to start having the best orgasms and sex of your life.
it worked out great sean.
Lol ❤✌
These instructions have enhanced myself sexually beyond belief. I thought that I could not never
experience such deep/erotic sensations through my body. Thus I have been able to ejaculate freely
as never before experienced.
I learnt how to finger my sexual parts with outstanding results, to cum freely. To take some on my fingers
to taste then my own cum.
I thank you for teaching myself my inner most sexual being.
Violet
That’s beautiful!!
To me this is what I like to do to my lover and I see that is great just realized some pointers that help me get better I love to play with that cute little think all men sure learn how to play with it
It’s nice to learn that making myself cum helps my lover to make me cum
So you are masturbating?
Mark. We r exploring what make us cum to teach u guys how to make us cum faster and harder than before
I use the shower teqnique a lot. I put my shower on full stream and try to find a place on my vagina that makes me cringe. After some time of cringing I get this absolutely incredible orgasm.
I do the same thing, only, I use a bath soap, like olay, rubbing it in, and rinsing. I love that method since I do it everyday in the shower!!!!
That’s not good to put on your vagina. It messes with your ph levels.
I love rubbing my clit with a little baby oil in the bathtub every night. I. Dont actually cum but I get very worked up so that I cum easier for my partner
Hi Sean,
After 20years of marriage and vanilla sex life, I’m 40 with no partner.
I occasionally touched myself during sex with my exhusband to get me in the mood.
After separation I would “treat” myself sexually once a week. I came across this website when I was looking for way to take it to the next level, and now In the last month I think I have mastered fingering myself with great sexual release (no squirt yet!).
I now find myself doing it every night with great orgasums, sometimes I would wake up in the middle of the night and finger myself.
My question is: Should I be concerned about the frequency? Would it be a sex addiction? Any advice will be highly appreciated please.
If it’s not interfering with you daily life, then it’s nothing to worry about.
Dont use it on ur clit tho, I used it for a long time and now my clit isn’t very sensitive anymore.
Me too
I love the shower technique. Every time I get in the the shower I find a time to just sit in the bottom of the tub take down the shower head turn on the pulse setting and keep it on my clit. It feels so good and it’s so relaxing. Then when I’m about to cum I get this tingling sensation all throughout my body that makes me want to stop but I don’t then I cum. I do this every time I get in the shower. It’s my favorite.
I have done the shower technique for so long not knowing people actually did it and I seriously had amazing orgasms without even knowing it!
Tryed it also it fun I must say
I came while reading this ✖◕‿◕✖
Me to
It don’t work for me????
it didn’t work for me yrs ago so i recently started back masturbating. i have a massage vibrator similar to magic wand. i start on low speed n go up a little. i read this article and used 1 then two fingers n i also tried the squeeze. i just trying different things n omg this is most enjoyable sex of my life. just keep practicing till you find what works for you
I know I don’t like them or it’s just not the way I feel completely conferred by this
me too
Wow. I’ve been using the up and down/side to side method most of the time. Faucet is a good treat. But I just tried the 3-4 finger rub, squeeze, and bead trick for the first time ever and I came so hard, nice to try something new!! Thanks for the post
Happy to help 🙂
Good for you! I am trying beads tonight. I’ve done it in shower for years. Love showering…
Same Ngl orgasmed
Oh I have been playing with my wet throbbing clit moaning,sucking cum off my fingers. Super hot!
Glad 4 you. Any Ideas how I can do the same to myself?
Amanda. Reading ur comment make me want to try these methods
Omg thats really hot low key would help you there
for some reason tho, only the shower technique has actually worked for me but nothing else have does anyone have any tips so I can actually get orgasms without having to get in the shower?
Check out the Orgasm Guide to learn how to orgasm.
I love to hump those toy balls from Walmart ooooh the squishy goodness takes me to the moon
Me to
That’s how I feel – something about reading all this has me hot
Omg Wow the pillow one worked best
Right it felt really good
Pillow one is definitely something I NEVER would have done before reading this but now I LOVE IT!!!!
For real I never would have even thought of that until reading this
I did the pillow thing and came and squirted everywhere sucking it off
They pillow is the best, that’s what I use most of the time. Sb/ I’m a 20 year old virgin…
I get orgasms all the time with the pillow!
do you wear underwear during this method?
I’m about to try it
is it better no panties ?
I stuck a bullet vibrator on top of the pillow. Best decision ever.
It feels the best with nothing on at all for me, but it can get a little messy. Usually i just lick it all off.
I know right. Sometimes I’ll even use one of those big stuffed animals it works great.
I cant seem to get a reaction out of the pillow one, but I see people saying it’s the best. Help??
Different things work for different people, the key is focusing on the techniques that work best for you (the techniques that give you most pleasure). But also try to experiment with new techniques…keeping the techniques that work great while discarding the ones that don’t work as well.
Is it bad that even befor I knew what mastrubation was I would do it with my pillow…..?
Honestly the pillow thing worked brilliantly for me. I have never done this stuff before it it was one of the most amazing experiences ever!
I’ve tried the pillow and was ok, am about to go into the bathroom and try the towel cause I’m so damn hot listening to you girls tell your stories, I want to cum!
It is amazing
Will it did feel amazing.but it hurt when I did it and when my partner did it and he did I a lot more fun than I did!
really good tips
Electric toothbrush is amazing on your clit too
how do you do that and make sure your toothbrush stays clean? curious cuz i want to try it
I love my clit so much♡
Omgosh I never knew U Spot was a thing. Holy fuck!!
Pweety cool.
i know. i need help with something tho. none of the techniqes feel good on me and ive never cummed or felt pleased with myself. im single so no man. what should i do???
The guide on how to make yourself orgasm should help.
Hey Sean, I’d like to say that I love everything you’ve put up on this website. It’s helped me and my boyfriend get closer that I ever imagined could be possible, but there’s one thing I hope you’ll help me out on.
It started about 3 years before I met my boyfriend (5 years ago), I started masturbating like every other girl, but I just never came. I finally had my first orgasm by putting a vibrator directly on my clit. I loved it and it was the fastest and only way to make me cum so I continued to put my vibrator on high directly on my clit for almost 2 years.
Now my clit is so desensitized I can’t cum without one! It still feels amazing when me and my boyfriend have sex but I never cum and I feel like I’m missing out. I’ve tried fixing this dilemma by not using a vibrator anymore (I haven’t used one in over a year), we also tried not having sex for a few weeks, no results. We’ve tried clitoral sensitizing gels, special lubs and creams, different sexual positions, but nothing seems to be working. Nether of us know what to do.
Help?
Hi Sammie,
It sounds like a ‘catch 22’ situation you are in. You really want to orgasm during sex, but focusing on reaching orgasm is making it less likely that you will. First, you need to stop worrying about reaching orgasm and just do everything you can do to enjoy sex regardless of the outcome.
Then you need to do things that help you get closer to orgasm, like you were before. Quit using a vibrator. Really draw out foreplay. Get your man do down on you.
If you are still having trouble, get your man (not you) to use the vibrator on you, but only do so during sex.
Sean
Hi Sean
Ive never reached a orgasm ??whem me and my boyfriwnd have sex i never cum . i musterbate and i still cant come . i was with another guy befor and there also it didnt happen … Everybody is going on about orgasming and i havent had one !!! We tried everything!!!! And i still dont get to the point to cum !!!!! And its not that i try yo hard during sex .. I really just can cum !!!
Natasha, you may want to try incorporating a vibrator into your sex life if you’re still struggling.
lol i agry
I can’t cum? When I feel like I am going to, I just throb I can’t cum I’ve tried everything
The key is learning to relax. The Orgasm Guide should help too.
I have to use a vibrater to cum while sex I can’t just cum with sex
Natasha,
I never was able to cum before until I began experimenting with two vibrators at the same time. I used one inside to stimulate my G-spot , then at the same time use the other one on my clit. It has been a year now. I pleasure myself anytime I feel like.
Are you on any medications? Sometimes that can cause this as well 🙁
Tilt your pelvis forward and spread your legs as far as you can.
Natasha try having breasts and nipples stimulated. Works for me every time especially when I’m on top.
Nipple stimulating is a key for me,can’t alway get it with my partner,so I do it myself while he forces on other things
Your boy friend needs to learn how to finger fuck your g spot and suck on your clit at the same time my girlfriend has squirting orgasms when I do this I love doing it and she loves it more because it drivers her crazy
Try 3 then and go hard
Hey Sean, I’ve tried masturbating with my fingers, But I can’t reach an orgasm. I don’t have a vibrator or lube, I do wet my fingers though. I still just can’t reach my orgasm or cum!
Help Me, Please!
Check out this guide on how to orgasm.
Having same problem, again Help!
Sean,
I have a question, so my fiancé got me to squirt once but not ever since. I’ve been trying to focus on just him and me and the feeling of him. Well to spice things up we got toys, like vibrators and dildos but it still hasn’t happened. Just really need your help as to what I could be doing wrong and how me and him can fix to together.
Thank you,
O.c
You may be putting too much pressure on making it happen. The key is relaxing and just focusing on what feels pleasurable.
So far I’ve tried all of these techniques and it doesn’t seem to work so can you help me out a little wether it’s advice or you just coming and helping me yourself ?
I can only squirt using a thumb. The thumb is inserted and is pressing downward while going in and out. A finger doesn’t hit the spot. I started squirting at 51 years old! Old dog, new tricks!
Doesn’t it make you mad ya dude can’t make you cum???
Oh God no. Sometimes you want to do it yourself, and not worry about him. Lol. Its better.
Most men don’t make women orgasm by themselves. Women have to know what works for them to help their man make them orgasm. As far as not being able to orgasm without a vibrator. I love my “bullet”. And so does my husband. We use it together during sex and we have amazing orgasms together!
That’s right, each woman’s body is different and I had 1 girlfriend who just couldn’t get off. She enjoyed all aspects of sex but just couldn’t orgasm. This doesn’t end it all though, we had a lot of fun trying. I typically have found that I can figure a woman’s body out with oral stimulation and this opens up orgasms through penetration as I learn her body.
I have only had 1 man that cared ENUF to even ATTEMPT to TRY and make me reach orgasm! It hurt & I feel like I actually “peed” on him! He said I didn’t I was a squirter…..BUT “SPRAY” pee was more like it…there was NO pleasure in it at all……my bladder suffered ALOT ! How can I “relax” enough to even be able to…I feel like i’m gonna scream when I get to a certain place to “climax” BUT then NOTHING happens ????? Can u help? I have severe nerve damage from giving birth! Could that be WHY I have NEVER had an orgasm?
If you are worried about damage caused during birth, it’s best to talk to your OBGYN
Ya don’t know shit from shineola! Re-read the comment, da dude ain’t at fault here, and in general, women are responsible for their own orgasm, not the man. Rejecting the fault on their man is a cop-out, and, unless the guy is extremely inept, the failure to reach orgasm is an attitude problem.
It would be nice IF the “GUYS” cared enough about pleasing their woman…MEN gonna “NUT” anyway…never met one that didn’t….SO WHY is it so hard for a woman to orgasm with a man? IF a “VIBRATOR or DILDO” is what works…WHY do “WE” need a mna? IF he’s NOT NOT NOT doing his part ? Charly?
Hello there women. … a little blunt tbh… use the button of a Venus razor and a shower head at the same time…. if that’s not enough use the bottom of the brushow with the shower head….. ??
This was a problem with me for a very long time. I was so addicted to the sensation of a vibrator to the point my man couldn’t make me cum. I put away the vibrator and really focused on him and eventually; we have It down to where we cum at the same time.
Great to hear Tisha!
My guy ejaculate very fast…. What advise can you give me to let him know please Sean!!
Talk to him. You may also want to invest in a ‘numbing’ cream so that he’s not as sensitive.
Do you have sec often? Sometimes simply increasing the frequency of sex does wonders helping a guy to hold off.
Hi Sean
I have a question that I can’t seem to find any answers anywhere so I’m hoping you will be able to help me. I am 32 I just recently started being sexually active. I always go to the washroom before I start anything with myself or with my boyfriend. So when I masterbate through clitoral stimulation all of a sudden it feels like I have to pee so I stop and go to the bathroom but sometimes I try to push through that feeling and then my clit gets really sensitive so I have to stop. Even when my boyfriend is fingering or giving me oral I get that feeling n I get him to stop. I really don’t know what to do and I desperately want to have a orgasm. I’ve never faked an orgasm with him but I also didn’t tell him that I had one.
So I hope you can please help me.
Hi Robyn,
You first need to learn how to orgasm alone, then you will find it much easier to orgasm when you’re with your man. This article above will help as will this one on how to masturbate effectively and this one on how to make yourself squirt will help explain the ‘need to pee’ sensation.
Robyn,
Don’t stop your man! Girl you are probably robbing yourself of an amazing orgasm possibly with your own female ejaculation! Now you have me singing….”Let it go, let it goooooo”!
Lol. Exactly Danielle. Let it goooo
I agree the best orgasm is getting ready to happen.
actually when you feel peeing during masturbation, i advise u to make it continue because actually that is not only the urine, it’s also a part to getting orgasm.. so try to continue with your clit and get an amazing feeling of shower..
Robyn,
try my example for Natasha. Maybe that will work. In order to allow yourself to cum, you should not think about it. Be creative. Think about your ideal lover, your freakiest thing.
If you feel you need to pee then just keep going and you will eventually just get to an orgasum, trust me I had the same problem
I have the same issue where I’ll get so into it but I’ll have to stop because I actually I’m scared lma piss the bed…is the having to pee and building up the same feeling.??
I’m a Lesabian my problem is i play with myself all the time even when me and my lover is making love she is good at what she do to me but I can only get off by rubbing myself and her sticking her tongue in me she feels like she is not pleasing me she has try rubbing me and sticking her tongue in me but it doesn’t work I also wants her to strap me i have never been strap before and I been messing with women for 20 years can u tell me how to convince my lover to masturbat with me
OK so I’m us to masterbating that now when I have sex I dnt come !! What can I do !! HELP !!
Try stopping masturbating for a while and your sensitivity will return
You will never get that thrill from sex until you stop masterbating so much.
Stop masterbating!!!
Hi Sean, IV been sexually active since I was 17 I’m 21 now And I still have not been able to have an orgasum. Is there anyway you can help me plz?
Jeh”z. All that talking about it. Can I be of any assistance lok x
I have tried all that you have mentioned above I was wondering do you have something more for some one who’s ever day 4times a??
I have never been able to squirt . I want to experience it. How can I?
This article will get you up to speed.
Call me n i will show you……seriously i used to make my ex hit the wall with squirt juice on the far side of the room. Talking about 12 feet ……it was so hot and after 3-4 times she loved how it felt.im not bragging,just being honest about the fact that if a girl im with cant get hers i cant get mine.what turns me on is to turn u on and see you turned on.i dont mind not cumming if my girl cant.but i usually dont have issues with cant,i focus on it until it happens and can usually get it done with fingers .but i do like to slip in right as shes cumming then she can feel what a penetrating orgasam feels like.i would do anything to see my girl get off.anything
I wantbto make myself squirt
Try this article
Try an electrical tooth by placing it on ur clit.this is how i experience squirting
Thank you for advice, I will definitely serve some percent i do not plan to have a boyfriend at least a year 😀
i have never had an orgasm! I feel like masterbation or being eaten out gets me off.. But it’s never like a full blown orgasm! It scares me to think ill just be one of those people that never gets to experience it. I wish I could orgasm during sex with my partner hit penetration does nothing for me! Do you have any advice? Thank you!
Try using a vibrator
A lot of penetration orgasm can come from a man knowing your body and how it orgasms. I am able to get my wife off by rolling the area above my penis on the hood of her clit until she cums which usually makes me cum as well, but you would have to be able to orgasm this same way. I did have a girlfriend once that would cum only in a doggy style position with her back arched and butt high up because as I penetrated her I could rub her g spot real good. So it really comes down to knowing and learning your body.
I love the shower head one I have been put on the for almost like 5years now and every since I been put D to it I have been doing it none stop and it feels good I love it omg….
Hey Sean,
I enjoyed reading your post. It looks like I’ve tried most of the techniques that you mentioned. I have a question: When I’m masturbating, once I have an orgasm, I lose interest, stop and go to sleep. Why would that be? How can fix that?
This sounds perfectly normal. Some women can orgasm again and again without losing interest while others can’t. It’s just the way you’re built
That’s true seon I feel nothing but pain when I’m having sex he’s enjoying him self an I be like wtf I didn’t even cuM
Oh my god. I just had my first ACTUAL orgasm with these tips.
Most of these tips are so through if not all they work well wen giving female an orgasm… males need to know about these teqniques on how to please the vagina and the females.
This site is awesome I have learnt alot thanks for making it so simple n easy going for me.
I can’t get myself to come with my fingers I do with pillows but not my fingers what am I doing wrong
Really nice site
hey! #11, use me (a man)! 🙂
Awesome!
I have enjoyed this site, I have made my partner Sssquuirr more then one time, and help her reach orgasm multiple times.
Thank You.
Awesome ,I have a learnt a lot,thanks for making it so wonderful
very good tips, I been doing most of them for years now and have kept my sex life AWESOME!!!
Sean, I need your help. I have been able to masturbate alone a few times a month for about 8 years now. I have had orgasms with my partners over the years but only while I have been on top. They allowed me to be on top because they knew it was the only way I could orgasm. . . But that is the problem. My current partner and I have been having sex for the past 2 years and I have never had an orgasm with him because he doesn’t like when women are on top. It makes him feel like he has lost his male dominance and it causes him to loose interest. I enjoy our sex. In fact, he IS the best I have ever had as far as what he does and his techniques and movements. I just cannot orgasm with him. We love each other so I do not think that is the issue. He is sized very well so it isn’t that. How can I learn to have an orgasm with him? I have been faking every time and I feel terrible. If it helps at all, I am 26 years old. I am desperate to have an orgasm with him. Help? Advice?
Sounds like you should talk to him and explain what you need to reach orgasm. Of course there is no need to be confrontational or intense about it, but sex is a 2 way street and it is important that you get satisfied too.
Is squirting peeing? Becayse often time while I am masturbating I feel the urge to pee, and even if I empty my bladder before I masturbate I still feel that sweet sensation like I am going to pee. One day I decided to see what will happen so as I continued to masturbate I squirted this pee like liquid all over my sheets and it felt amazing!! What was that Sean?
It sounds like you squirted, and it wasn’t pee. Questions to ask yourself…does it smell like pee? Does it have the same texture as pee? If not, then it’s definitely not pee. Sometimes it can be a combination of ejaculate and pee.
I have tried and tried for over a yr to squirt and still haven’t. Is it possible that a woman just cant squirt, or could I sum how b doin sum thin wrong
Some women just find it incredibly difficult and ultimately can’t. Remember also that some women ‘gush’ instead of squirting.
I’ve had a few women stop me because of that peeing sensation and some let it go freely lol. Well good to know I’m soon a great job. (Safe sex)
Dear Sean,
Im 21 and I’ve been sexually active for about 5 years now but I have never had an orgasm. I had a gf for about 3 years and still no orgasm but now that I’m single I’m trying to get to know myself a little better. Can you give me any advice on how I can actual have an orgasm
Honestly, it all comes down to relaxing and focusing on what’s most pleasurable, NOT the orgasm itself. So experiment with different techniques and strokes while always focusing on what you find most pleasurable. In time, the orgasm will just happen.
Thank you for these ideas I loved them sooooooo much
OK I never tryed the water and I’m definitely going to Try it now 😉
I’ve tried everything except 5,9 & 10. When I use shower head,the pressure is too hard and I don’t enjoy it. When I touch my clit(or so I think so,’couse I’m so wet),it iritates me,but when I try on clitorial hood,I touch myself too high. When I finger myself,it isn’t very pleasant,I don’t know why… When I masturbate,I get so wet,but I just don’t feel ANYTHING. I found only one thing that I enjoy: when I lay on my stomach and I rub my inside of thighs,after some time,I feel like my vagina is,um,vibrating? I don’t know how to explain… But when that feeling comes,I feel it only downstares,not in my whole body,and if I stop rubbing,I don’t feel it. I don”t know what’s wrong with me,I just can’t relax. I really don’t feel my touches,I feel more what I’m doing,then what I’m supposed to feel… And I don’t like how my ejaculate smells.
Try watching porn I know that’s what helps me.
The small water outlet in the pool works just like shower head one above… Happened to me accidentally but damn it was a awesome experience….
this has happened to me and dAMN
try a vibrated shaver fells so good!
How many of you ladies masterbate with your fingers
Try spreading your legs differently for varying effects
Wow, thank you! This was my first time orgasming without a vibrator! The featherlite up until I got really close followed by more vigorous rubbing sent me over the edge. I didn’t even know that I could do that without a vibrator. Excited to bring my boyfriend into the mix next time! Thank you thank you thank you!
I really enjoy masterbation but I can’t cum. I get really wet but I don’t cum. Even during sex I don’t cum.
The key is focusing only on what’s pleasurable and not focusing on the outcome (i.e. orgasm). As you do this, you’ll naturally learn what you enjoy the most. The more you focus on reaching orgasm, the harder it will ultimately be.
You don’t cum because it is not not that frequent as you suppose to be and secondly you are remaining conscious to cum…. relax and enjoy.. don’t try to cum .. it would come…
liked*
I have never been eaten out. my boyfriend just likes traditional sex. I have heard people do it with there dogs is it true?????
Help!!
Yes!!! Do it with your dog I do it all the time!!
Omg are you kidding me? I’m not a prude, not in the least. Believe me I can get freaky like you wouldn’t belive. But you’re seriously letting your DOG lick your pussy? You are nasty. Go find a human to go down on you. Unless you’re problem is that you’re to nasty to get an actual person to have sex with in which case sucks to be you.
Hey Sean,
I can’t seem to orgasm and I have used all of these techniques. I love clitoral stimulation but anytime I come close the feeling starts to fade and I’m left with an unsatisfied feeling. Do you have ny words of wisdom?c
Just focus on doing what feels pleasurable. If it doesn’t feel pleasurable and satisfying, just stop.
hey Girls! i dont like touching down there so i watch Some porn and hump a pillow, bit im always on the breach of an orgasim and it just stops… how do i fix this?
Even reading the article made me aroused a lot. Thanks
This is amazing! I have not yet had an orgasm but came extremely close!! My boyfriend appreciates this website probably more than I do. He has learned many new ways to pleasure me while in bed.
A very Great news…
It worked so well!
I taught my boyfriend the exact way to rub his fingers on my clit, so that I can get an orgasm. I also taught him how to move his tongue. If you don’t want to do it yourself, teach your boyfriend
A SINGLE GIRL’S DILEMMA
HI . i hope the tips here will be of any real help. 23 and still havent experienced a real orgasm. I mean, does it really exist? I get wet yes. but the squirt? or the amount of liquid that comes out of porn stars makes me doubt if its even real. I’ve had intercouse with an ex but honestly never actually CLIMAXED.
Been single for a year and now learning to do this on my own to no avail. I like finger for 30 mins and NOTHING. just makes my pussy red and itchy. I even YAWNED. Thats when i totally gave up.!
I have fun with my clit but without a humping man I can rub it on and a fun cock inside, I’m quite lost. And even with those present, I can only get wet. I DON’T COME.
HELP. ASAP. SOS. SAVE ME.
I think its all in your mind..be submissive to your feelings..go jogging or swim so you feel physical and after the bathing you ought to have an automatic deep Gasm..tap into your primal instincts.
Get on top. Ride up and down. The key is to make sure you’re grinding your clit against the base of his cock while you’re doing it. If his cock isn’t firm enough then use his pelvis region to stimulate your clit. Your vagina alone isn’t going to deliver an orgasm. You’re young and you’re determined. This will happen for you.
I’ve never came before, and would like to. I am in a relationship with a girl right now and whenever she fingers me it….hurts. Any suggestions?
Try teaching and guiding her so she knows what you enjoy.
I use the pillow technique and it works wonders, i moan within seconds of moving and I cum within a minute and my orgasm is huge 🙂 Love this technique 🙂
how do you cum? I honestly have no idea, I’ve never done it, no matter what I try (and I’ve tried a lot) nothing has happened. if tried thinking differently and trying to let it come naturally but nothing has happened. am I just unable to cum?
Hi, I love these techniques. I can’t seem to cum though? Even during sex, I can’t cum?
Thanks for all the tip i would have never known these without help
Thanks
I masturbate all the time even at campus in between lectures, I go to the toilet and pound my pussy until I cum.. its amazing I tell you. the thought of getting caught makes everything much better.
Omg I masturbated and my boyfriend caught me and he fucked me till 2:50 and we started at 12:00pm????????
Wow
I’ve tried everything on your site but nothing works. It just gets me most of the way up and then just kind of….stops. I can never get myself all the way there? Please help?
Check out the Orgasm Guide for help.
OK Sean. I’m kinda new to this grinding thing. What is it and how do I do it?
check out tip #12 for tips
I love orgasms! Once I start, I can’t stop. Is that a bad thing? On the weekends I would stay up for hours giving myself orgasms. THANK YOU!!!
I am used to masturbate by lying on my stomach and cross my legs and push… I have been trying to stimulate my clit for a while now….i do feel slightly something when i pull it way out and rub it but nothing happens after and t starts to hurt..i want to cum from rubbing my clit i have never been able to orgasim unless i’m doing it myself the way mentioned at first…i am 23 and i have been masturbating this way for as long as i can remember..
help
Check out the Orgasm Guide for tips and help.
Thank God I married a woman who enjoyed sex from day one. I would give her several orgasms orally and several more when I penetrated her. Always a happy woman.
Harry
Hi Sean
My husband and I have been married for 1 year now and we’ve only ever had sex once. Don’t get me wrong the once was better than any sex I’ve ever had with previous men but he’s just too busy to do it. I’m getting very sexually frustrated and masturbate regularly. I love him I really do but he doesn’t understand that there needs to be a sexual side to our relationship too… any advice?
You need to talk to him Grace.
Grace, I’m sorry Honey but he’s not too busy to have sex with his bride. Do you think this issue is likely to get better or worse over the life of a marriage. Based on the limited information you presented he most likely is living as a closeted homosexual. If you love him then embrace him and his lifestyle. Get creative and work together so he can still cruise for dick and you can get that elusive orgasm. The solution is there but finding it will be challenging in several ways
I’ve always masturbated by grinding into my blanket while reading erotica and wanted to try orgasming in a different way, so thank you for this helpful guide!
Hi Sean
I’ve tried everything but I don’t know why whenever I’m on the brink of coming I just can’t come idk why?? Please help
That certainly sounds frustrating Ashley. My advice is to stop focusing on the outcome and do your best to relax and let go of expectation.
I feel like I’m gonna cum I start to twitch I feel like I have to pe and stuff but then the feeling just stopped? Did I do anything wrong? Or did I cum without noticing
Sounds like you are climaxing.
This was great. My wife has the most confusing pussy. Her clit is beneath her skin under the hood. Every girlfriend I’ve had before her it was exposed and giving oral was a source of pride for me. Then the rubik’s cube of vaginas. WTF? Not being able to get her off orally has been a very frustrating, but reading this helped me find Waldo! She’s a grinder on very hard surfaces, which my tongue is not. I’m glad my ADHD kicked in an I googled this.
Thanks for the tips. REALLY helped!! I’m really satisfied:)
Hi Sean,
I am a Transgender (FTM) and i thought these tips and guides were amazing, but i have a few questions and concerns that i think u might be able to help me with, 1.) whenever i would finger myself it would.. hurt, i dont nkow why though, and 2.) Once i used a dildo botthe for a dildo and a bled, this was about an hour ago, i have not had my forst period yet so i was a little worried, i have never bled internally before and i am not shure if i tore the inside of my vagina or i did something else ^ -^ thanks.
Marco
Hi Sean,
I have found the portable shower head works as well on men esp if you come from behind and direct at the back of the testes it is a great sensdation
Help I often feel the need to pee during mastubating but I only actually squirted once and never have since, I don’t know why I feel like I’ve tried everything
The key is relaxing and not worrying about the outcome. Try it in the shower the next time and just let it flow out. It will be quickly washed away anyway, so you don’t have to worry about it.
Hi Sean,
My name is Brynn. Me and my husband have been having great sex for little over a year now and he is easy to get to orgasm but I never have and it’s making him feel guilty…no matter what I tell him…..we’ve tried everything….literally. …and he can get me so close to orgasming I can feel it, like one more second and it’ll happen….and then like a light switch it just stops and we have to try again. …and again…..it happens multiple times almost every time we have sex. Its like im stopping myself but i dont know how….he sais he can even feel it happening. I’ve tried not focusing on orgasming and just having fun and really enjoying the sex, we’ve tried vibrator, we’ve tried all the foreplay, we’ve tried hand stuff…we’ve tried everything we can find on the Internet but nothing works….the vibrator during sex gets me closer than anything but still won’t quite get me there….I’m starting to give up on it but I really want to cum…both for my sake and for his…..what advice to you have for me? Because I really need some help…
This guide should help.
Brynn, I’m sure you’re aware what a threat to your sex life this is. Sooner or later one or both of you will avoid sex altogether. I would seek the guidance of a legitimate sex therapist. Good luck to you
Hi Sean,
I didn’t know the website, it’s very good, really!
Because of gender opression and of the way we women learn not to connect with our bodies and learn in many ways that female pleasure is WRONG, it is a very important thing you do here, congratulations and thank you so much!!!!
So, here is the question: I have always been a little afraid of masturbating, feeling supersensitive just thinking of it. Many times when I watch porn, even women friendly or feminist porn, the things shown seem to me afflictive discomfortabel or even painful. I have usually atributed this to some discomfort with my own body provenient from education and that I just have not been able of getting rid of, despite the efforts.
Now I think I may have this supersensitivity you mention (maybe even caused for not knowing my body very well), because I’ve always done the pillow thing (which in a way keeps the hood) and specific ways that enable “hooded stimulation” feel better for me. It is just outrageous that no gynechologists ever really talk to us about this stuff.
At the same time, I’ve never had what some people call a strictly “vaginal” orgasm. You say here it maybe interesting considering a possible hipersensitivity. I have seen your fingering guide, and I’m gonna try it.
Do you have any other specific suggestions?
Thank you very much and sorry for the bad use of English language… lol.
Mara
The shower and pillow techniques work.
I am new to the masturbating world and can not wait to try these techniques. I got wet just reading them! Any other advice for this beginner
Led Zepplin IV. Side 2. Get it girl
I think the best way to orgasm is the side to side technique. If you do it so that your finger is on half of your clit it stimulates the other half and makes you cum very quickly. To cum harder though you should take your hand away when you are close to coming, wait thirty seconds and start up again.see how long you can hold back for.
Michelle, you’re edging your pussy. Delightfully naughty. Have you spent an entire weekend doing this yet? You’re going to make an excellent companion Someday. Don’t settle because your sexuality is best in class.
Thanks for the tips Sean, they are so helpful!
One thing. I promise u this feels good. I usually do it on my underwear but, I sit on my toilet seat (closed) and I just “hump” it until a very good feeling stays for like 8 seconds. Just keep humping it nonstop at normal speed.
oo my god……u gave me the best things to do….its so amazing…i just want to masturbate 24×7… i tried nearly all of them….and evry technique gav me best feelings…..thnk u so much….
i always do the pillow one
tried out pearl necklace
i came
best thing ever !!!
I have been humping pillows and stuffed toys forever and man does it feel good! I rub my self at night time as well. I have never tried the shower head one but i will. XD thanks
So I had a baby about 6 years ago and the sensation hasn’t been the same. I spoke to obgyn about this and she said that it happens. I miss the way it used to feel and now I don’t like to have sex or anything because of it. What would u recommend I do?
How can you tell if your coming and climaxing? Is there really a difference?
They’re the same thing 😉
I have the problem where I can get into it but i get stuck at the climax and get the release. Help?
I don’t feel anything when I touch my breasts or nipple. I don’t feel good when I penetrate myself with finger while masturbating. 🙁
I got really close using the shower and the pillow techniques but I can never actually orgasm… Any advice?
How can i tell if im climaxing?
A lot of the times i have convulsions and its really intense and overwhelming and feels like bliss.
Not all men have they made or want to go down on their woman he just isn’t interested in it I don’t know what to do to get him to do it.
i tried masturbating for the first time ever last week, it feels really really good. Now thanks to this guide and experimentation while really horny, i know exactly what to do. I start of by taking all of my clothes off then i sit on the floor, hold on to the door knobs and grind on my door (it sounds weird but it feels really good) then i just lie on my back and start to rub my clit really hard, when it starts to feel really good i move on for a little bit and hump a bunch of pillows stacked on eachother and i grind for a really really long time because it feels AMAZING. Then i either use my fingers or a toy (if you dont have a dildo you can use a flashlight or really anything that fits in you, one of my best orgasms was with a strawberry dum dum) and start to penetrate really shallow, focusing on my g spot while rubbing my clit. I start of slow just breathing out of my mouth and just work my way up to going really fast, and then i start to twitch a bunch involuntarily, and it feels so good. The pleasure is really overwhelming so sometimes its a little bit hard to keep going, but just keep pushing through it! Eventually i just cant take it and a cum so much and its one of the best feelings in the world!!!!
You just made me cum reading your comment.
Ya it made me also
Omgggg me to girl that’s hot. The door sounds amazing
Anyone know how to get Caitlynn her own website?
Hello, thanks for these powerful tips. I reach an orgasm quickly with these techniques. However my clit soon becomes hard and I find continuing to masturbate tough. Is this normal? How can I continue?
It sounds quite normal. Just take a break for a few minutes and it should become less sensitive.
Dear Sean,
I have been trying to get an orgasm for the past few years, but have unsuccessful. I have tried all your tip and more but can not get my orgasm. I didn’t not use a vibrator. I also get tired right when I feel as if I might get an orgasm, is this normal??
As I’ve said many times before, you need to focus on what feels most pleasurable and not necessarily the outcome (ie orgasm). Over time this will allow you to get closer and closer to reaching orgasm.
OMG thank you so much for the tips I feel so much better now 😉
Hi Sean. So I have been masturbating for a while but never reached a climax, I was really only doing it because it was what I was told was normal, but I never felt anything at all, it was just as much joy as one gets rubbing their hand. This was until I discovered using the shower head. But I have a lot of trouble getting in the mood even with porn to my liking. I climax a lot now with the shower head, but I realized I still don’t really feel much. I don’t feel anything anywhere on my body or vagina other than my clit. Not in my vagina or even on my boobs or anywhere. I feel like when I become sexually actively I won’t enjoy it at all because I will only feel pain. Can you give me some advice?
Hi Jill,
You need to focus only on what feels pleasurable by listening to your body and seeing how it responds. Try not to focus on having an orgasm, and instead focus on what feels most pleasurable.
Best,
Sean
Jill, you’re missing the emotional connection with your partner. Be patient and don’t stop exploring your body. Your partner will need you to show him/her how to get you off when the time comes. Don’t be shy when that time arrives and you’ll be fine.
Wow! works every time for me…..lol Jeanie
Now I know how to please “her” use this technique with my fingers. hmmm, maybe this technique can also be a reference if want to use the tongue… 🙂
I’ve been masturbating even before I got to know what it was. I used stuff clothing between my thighs and just ride but growing up I’ve tried rubbing and meditation without touching myself and it gave me a mind blowing feeling till date. As I grow I feel the urge to do it more. NB: I’ve never penetrated myself. Is it okay to continue or I should stop??
Omg the pillow one is so good! That’s how I found out about masturbating. It was awesome!
i like 1 st step….
I am a guy I love my girlfriend and want to make her orgasm I need help making it happen.
Sounds like you should check out the Bad Boys Bible 😉
MASTERBATING WITH THE PILLOW REALLY HURT FOR ME I HAVE NO CLUE WHY
If something/anything hurts you, then don’t do it! This is just common sense!
MUST TRY THIS LADIES!!!
TAKE THE WIDEST CARROT AND PLACE A CONDOM TO COVER IT THEN POUR LUB ONTO IT AND RUB IT ALL OVER YOUR CLIT SLOOOWLY AND THEN PICK UP THE PACE TO AS FAST AS YOU CAN ! YOU WILL FEEL LIKE YOU DON’T WANT TO STOP AND IT IS SOOOOOO SATISSFYYING AND WILL MAKE YOUR CLIT BURST WITH EXCITEMENT <3
SUPPER SATISFYING AND WELL EARNED FOR YOU LADIES 😉
HAVE A WONDERFUL TIME
XXo
I love how supportive everyone on this site is, there’s no judgement what so ever
Every time I masterbate i just pee.. HELP !
Finally, number 12 is the only way I masterbate still to this day and I’m in my 30s! I feel less like a freak knowing that other women do this too
Sean and Amanda,
reading this blog gets me so fucking hot. awesome tips, ideas, and information and the replies like this one get me hotter and sound like me – hot, dripping wet pussy and ready to FUUUUUUUCK!! I hit my sex peak and just wanna be naked and playing with sex 24/7/365!! thanks for this blog
just want it.concertrate do much you forget about everything else
I can never reach an orgasm with rubbing my clit.
The technique i use,is i put my whole hand between my legs,in a way which my palm faces my vagina a my middle finger touches my anus
I squeeze my hand with my legs and make waves with my waist until i reach the orgasm
But nothing works except hips contraction,shower head technique and rarely humping (and these must contain hips contractions too)
Whats the problem
Dear Sean,
I’m thirty. Virgin. Never been able.to.masturbate. i watch porn. Read erotica.. I’m eager to.orgasm. I dunno where and how to start. I’m not keen on digital penetration
Start by focusing on what feels pleasurable.
I have masterbated for years and always trying to get stronger organism this site one best. Glad to know other like me I love sex!
Glad we could help!
Hi Sean-
I feel like my clit can’t get enough stimulation. I’ve tried all your techniques, I’ve tried toys and vibrators but I can never get fully satisfied. I also can’t seem to get enough lubrication. I can squirt really easily but it does not feel satisfying and makes a huge mess. I just really want one of these mind blowing orgasms that every woman talks about. Please help me! Sincerely, a very sexually unsatisfied teen
I also can’t seem to get enough lubrication
Use lube.
I. Cannot. Emphasize. This. Enough.
It helped me to use both hands, one to pull back the lips and top part, the other to rub circles on the clit, and i needed lots of lube 🙂
Oh wow, I actually rode out showerhead masterbation, and I felt like I was in Nirvana, my pussy is soaking wet with cum. Thank you!
Hi, I’m new to figuring out my body sexually. My boyfriend and I have been trying to figure out my orgasming situation for about a year now and almost every time we had sex he would orgasm and I would be left with a fond memory and no orgasm. I found your website recently and it gave me the inspiration to try somethings. I am pleased to say that I experienced my first orgasm, thanks in part to you. Thank you so much. I am immeasurably grateful.
Glad I could help Rachel!
I’m 25 and always felt that masturbation was something shameful, but now that I’m married with two children, I want to know what an orgasm really feels like, now that I know that my secret is to expose the clit and with the other hand rub fast circles on the clit. But i feel a wierd throb in my clit every few seconds, is that normal?
Sounds pretty normal, as long as you are you not hurting yourself.
Hey, Sean
I have this problem, I first started masterbating a few days ago and I’ve followed your advice about relaxing and not thinking about it but every time I come close it doesn’t happen, and I’ve tried playing with my boobs and I’ve come to realize that I don’t like the sensation it brings me, I’ve also tried watching porn, and I don’t have access to a vibartor or dildo and don’t have the means to go buy one, I’ve found out that I love the way I feel during clitoral simulation, but it does nothing except make me extremely wet, penitration also does nothing I need help please
Hi Nixen, you may want to follow the steps in the guide on how to orgasm.
Hi guys,
I am new to masturbation and I just can’t find a place where I orgasm or cum or even feel like WOW. Any unique tips? Also I’ve tried the shower thing and It does not help. I hate the fact that I can’t find how to masturbate for me. I don’t have a partner, or any toys but I never have a problem finding time. Please help!
Sounds like you can masturbate, but are having trouble climaxing. The guide on how to orgasm should help 😉
Hi Sean,
I’m a man. I tead to learn about girl’s feelings so that I can give pleasure to my girl friend. My girl frien loves my fingering job. I also enjoy so much. She also want me to eat her pussy. I also like to do. But I know eating pussy is not hygenic. What is your advice please?
Eating pussy IS hygenic, unless she has an infection.
Ooh I am so glad I finally opened my email because this was wonderful and even made me a little aroused. I’ve been feeling uninterested in masturbating for a while, which is very unusual for me. I’ve always loved the shower head technique, pulse is definitely the best with an on and off the clitoris motion that builds the pleasure till I’m practically shaking when I cum. Best. Orgasms. Ever! When I was in masturbating in privacy of my room I found that my orgasms weren’t very good at all till I found your site and realized that I was focusing too much on the orgasm, it’s about the journey not the destination, I have some pretty good orgasm now and really great ones when I vocalize from start to finish. I loved the comments on here too and now I know that I’m not the only one that enjoys the taste of my own orgasms. Thank you to infinity.
Glad I could help!
Hi Sean, my problem is that when I touch myself it starts to feel really really good and then great and then muscles in my butt starts to like clench up and my stomach drops but then it just stops and my clit starts to hurt and it almost feels sore to where I can’t continue. I don’t cum ether. WHAT AM I DOING WRONG? What is even happening?? Should I push threw longer? PLEASE HELP
I have some pretty good orgasm now and really great ones when I vocalize from start to finish. I loved the comments on here too and now I know that I’m not the only one that enjoys the taste of my own orgasms. Thank you to
On the subject of masturbating. My husband and I were visiting my parents my Dad was out of town anyway when we got there my Moms bedroom door was wide open and there’s my 65 year old naked mom with porn on the TV laying on the floor masterbating and to even more shocking she was using a 8-10” dildo she was making all kind of noise. My husband call her name and you never seen anyone move so fast in their life. We were all embarrassed. I never thought that my mom masterbated never mind using a dildo and watching porn. I look round at my DH and he was hard. WTF.
I feel like I am scared for life seeing your mom doing that.
I tried the shower head method, but I just can’t seem to orgasm. I have only tried masterbating one proper time, and this was that time. I think I was very focused on trying to orgasm but I just couldn’t. I started to shake and I could feel the build up, but I just couldn’t reach an organism. Any tips??