This discreet newsletter will teach you how to make him cum hard, give freaky oral sex & make him scream your name in bed. Click here to get it.
Sex toy stores offer an abundance of dildos, both online and locally. Sleek steel, colorful silicone, and glass in all shapes and sizes are just the tip of the iceberg. Perhaps you’ve purchased one because you’re excited to embark on a new journey of self-exploration through masturbation and orgasms. This page will teach you everything you need to know on how to use a dildo for maximum pleasure.Maybe you’re an old pro who wants to learn some new tricks to keep play time from becoming routine, or perhaps you find that imitating sex just doesn’t do anything for your G Spot when using a dildo. No matter, these techniques will help you to increase pleasure when using your dildo, and we’ve got a few tips to get the most out of your masturbation ‘jam sessions’.
Podcast: Using A Dildo For More Orgasms (& Vibrators Too)
Before you dive into the guide below, you might want to have a listen the podcast I just finished recording on how to use your dildo for very intense and fulfilling orgasms. Note: Skip to 18:50 to where I start talking about using your dildo. The earlier part of the episode is all about using vibrators.
Side note: If you are currently struggling to orgasm during sex or masturbation, then you may want to learn about the Easy Orgasm Solution. It will teach you how to have multiple vaginal and full body orgasms during sex and masturbation. It works even if you currently struggle to orgasm during sex or when masturbating. You can find out more here.
Listen to more Bad Girls Bible podcast episodes here
By the way, this page is actually Chapter 6 of the Orgasm Guide, so if you’re looking for more techniques and tips on masturbating, squirting and having powerful orgasms during sex, go to Chapter 1 here.
Before You Begin
Setting the Mood – If you’ve ever closed the blinds, turned down the lights and lit a few candles before sex, you know how much a change in ambiance can help your mood. The same applies when you’re flying solo. Light a candle, put on some sexy music and dim the lights if it helps you. Lock the door so you don’t have to worry about someone barging in.
Playing with your dildo and correctly hitting you G Spot can lead female ejaculation [1] (learn more on how to squirt from this detailed guide), so you might feel more comfortable letting go if you lay down a towel before you get started. Pick up your favorite erotica story or book to kick things off. Just make sure not to get any lube on the pages!
I cover many different techniques in detail on how to get yourself in the mood in this section of the Vibrator Guide. You may also be interested in checking out this article on how to make yourself horny.
Related: If you want to give your man back-arching, toe-curling, screaming orgasms that will keep him sexually addicted to you, then you'll find them in my private and discreet newsletter. You'll also learn the 5 dangerous & "dumb" sex mistakes that turn him off and how to avoid them. Get it here.
Choosing the Right Dildo – When choosing the right dildo for you, you’ll find a vast array of shapes, sizes, and types of dildos. The only important thing is choosing one that suits your needs and desires.
If you prefer hard stimulation, then selecting a hard glass, steel or wooden dildo makes sense. If you need extra sensation from it, then you’ll want to go for a vibrating dildo. If you like the feeling of being stretched, then go for a larger or inflatable dildo. One interesting study found that most dildos sold are about the average size of a man’s penis, which would suggest that the average size is what most women are looking for [2]. If you want clitoral stimulation during penetration then choosing a rabbit style vibrator/dildo makes sense.
Don’t Forget About Warmup – Before you start playing with your dildo, you might need to warm up first. This might mean manual stimulation (these masturbation techniques should help) along with having an orgasm or two (here are some deeply satisfying ways to finger yourself).
If you don’t produce much natural lubrication, then, grab some lube. Some of the reported benefits of using lube include increasing arousal/sexual pleasure/desire, making sex more fun and increasing physical comfort during sex [3].
Our Favorite Dildo Techniques
Once you’re fully warmed up, then it’s time to try out some of these very pleasurable techniques.
1. Deep Thrusting
When learning how to use a dildo, you’ll find that this technique for using your dildo is exactly how it sounds. Thrusting along the entire length of your vagina can provide intense stimulation, especially with a dildo that’s textured.
Serious thrusting requires a toy with a core that’s firm enough not to bend; although, it doesn’t have to be rigid. Overly soft dildos can make this action more difficult, however. You might find heavily textured toys overwhelming, so opting for a smoother or curved dildo may be more comfortable rather than one with deep ridges or bumps.
2. Short and Shallow
Most of the sensitive nerve endings exist in the first 1/3 of your vagina, so you don’t necessarily have to thrust deeply to get the most out of your masturbation session with your dildo. Short and rapid strokes mean your dildo isn’t barraging your cervix, and it might be easier on your wrists, too!
Quick Quiz: Do You Give Lousy Blow Jobs?
If you are new here, then you may want to take the quiz below to learn how good you are at giving oral sex and satisfying your man. You may discover you that you suck (pun intended) or that you are already a blow job queen.
Remember that just because you can insert up to seven inches of a dildo doesn’t mean that you have to. Instead, you can use the extra shaft length to get a better grasp on the dildo.
3. Rock It Out
Just because your dildo might be straight, doesn’t mean you can’t try other things. Rocking your dildo involves moving it back and forth at an angle so that the tip of the dildo is applying lots of pressure to the bottom of your vagina (posterior wall). So if you are lying down on your back, your dildo should be pointing down towards the bed as you start to push it in.
You’ll get a sensation similar to thrusting, but it can also provide clitoral stimulation and extra stimulation around the vaginal opening. Rocking works best with dildos that have a little give such as those made of soft silicone or with toys that are curved and intended for dual clitoral and vaginal stimulation.
4. Keep on Turning
There is an entire category of dildos known as ‘juicers.’ They come with cranks, and you turn them around after they’re inserted. Most dildos will work with this motion as long as there isn’t a sharp angle that might be uncomfortable.
5. Milk the G Spot
When you milk your G Spot using your dildo, you’ll drag the top part of the dildo across your G Spot as you pull outward. You can then push the dildo against the top part of your vagina (anterior wall) as you slide it back inside. You’ll get intense stimulation when using rigid toys made from glass, wood or metal. You can also buy dildos with a curve specifically for G Spot stimulation.
Read: Detailed guide on finding your G Spot.
You can also use a similar technique when stimulating a man’s prostate.
6. Filling Feeling
You don’t need motion to enjoy using your dildo. You can simply find one that feels comfortable when inserted and keep it there while you stimulate your clit to orgasm. The toy can enhance your orgasm even as it remains in the same place.
You can increase this filling feeling by pressing down on your lower stomach with your hand(s) so that your G Spot is pushed deeper into your vagina.
7. Temperature Play
If you’ve ever reached for a glass or steel dildo and your body practically went into shock because it felt so cold upon insertion, you might want to try warming it up to make things more comfortable. Temperature play is simply the act of changing the temperature of a toy. A cold dildo dragged across your nipples might be tantalizing while you might find yourself relaxed enough to take a larger toy if the surface has been warmed.
You can do this by placing your waterproof toys in a bowl of warm or cool water or simply in the stream of water from your faucet. Glass, steel, and ceramic are particularly responsive to temperature changes. Silicone and wooden dildos don’t offer much when it comes to playing with temperature.
Make sure to check the temperature with your hand before you insert any warmed or cooled toy, and never put your toy in the microwave or oven. That’s a sure way to invite burns inside your vagina and on your vulva. Don’t forget that if you don’t have a dildo, you can always just use your fingers instead, using these fingering techniques.
8. Anal
If you’re a fan of anal sex, then you will no doubt enjoy using your dildo for some anal pleasure. All the usual precautions apply here: make sure to use enough lube and make sure you thoroughly clean it afterward before using it on your vagina again. Check out our guide to anal masturbation for more tips.
9. Double Penetration
Many fantasize about double penetration, so why not give it a try? There are four ways to enjoy double penetration with a dildo.
- Two dildos, one inserted vaginally, one anally.
- Dildo and butt plug.
- Dildo and your fingers.
- Dildo and your man.
Often it’s best to try this on your own first to see how it feels before trying it with your man (or men!). Again, the important thing to keep in mind is making sure that you clean everything that has been inserted anally before allowing it near your vagina.
10. Put On A Show
As men are turned on visually, a very fun and exciting thing you can do is to take all these dildo techniques and use them to put on a show for your man. You can do this while your man is lying in bed beside you but it also works well over Skype if you’re in a long-distance relationship (more tips on Skype sex here). You can even get him to lend a hand and help you out if you like if he’s right there beside you.
11. Mix It Up & Experiment
I keep repeating this throughout the Bad Girls Bible, but the most important thing you can do is to try out these ideas and experiment to discover new and more pleasurable ways to use your dildo both by yourself and during sex. You may find that deep, intense penetration gives you full body, shaking orgasms or you might discover that simply running your dildo over the outside of your vagina sends shivers down your spine.
12. All About The A Spot
It seems that all my students know about their G Spot, but most have never heard of the A Spot. This is another super sensitive and satisfying part of your vagina that you can use your dildo on. It’s located in a similar position to your G Spot, but deeper, right by your cervix. The most satisfying way to pleasure your A Spot does not involving thrusting your dildo in and out; instead try holding it on your A Spot and apply constant pressure. Some women need really intense pressure to find it pleasurable. Learn more about your A Spot here.
Position Perfect
Before you write off a toy or technique, understand that it might work better in some positions, but not others. You’ve probably had to experiment with a position and pillows to line up just right with your partner, and the same is true when you are discovering how to use a dildo for maximum self-pleasure. If you have a rounder tummy, shorter arms or lack flexibility, you might run into some hurdles when it comes to using dildos. However, you shouldn’t let this stop you from finding what works for you. It’s the same philosophy you should have with choosing sex positions….and you can find over 100 different sex positions here, with pictures demonstrating each one.
1. Lying Down – Many people naturally masturbate facing the ceiling. It might not have the greatest view, but it often works swimmingly. Try pulling your knees to your chest to vary the angle and to provide more G Spot stimulation. You can also place a pillow beneath your hips or butt for easier access.
2. Facing Down – Alternatively, you can lie face down. If you have longer arms, you can reach over your back to thrust a dildo, or you can reach below you if that works better. Consider placing a pillow for support under your hips to raise your butt into the air for a better angle.
3. Sideways – Lying on your side with your legs pressed together can make your toy feel larger. It can also be easier than masturbating when face down. You can keep your legs straight or bend your knees to change it up. You can find more masturbation techniques here.
4. Sitting – We don’t just mean sitting with your feet flat on the floor. You can prop them on a wall, desk or table in front of you to offer unrestricted access with your dildo. This position also works well if you’re enjoying visuals on the screen in front of you.
5. Riding Your Dildo – Suction cup dildos offer a lot of options, too. You can stick them to your shower wall for hands-free stimulation while using your shower head for extra stimulation. Alternatively, affix them to your coffee table and straddle them from above. This also leaves a hand or two free for clit stimulation. You’ll find some great clitoral stimulation techniques here.
Final Thoughts On Using Your Dildo
Ignore the Instructions – Sex toy makers often brand G Spot toys with pink or purple packaging for women while toys with nearly identical shape come in black or blue for men to stimulate their prostate, which also benefits from a curved toy [4]. Ignore the gendered stereotype if you think a toy intended for male anal usage might become your G Spot’s new best friend.
You don’t have to follow the suggested use for a toy. It’s the curve that counts.
If you like running a textured dildo against your clit with your legs close together, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t! It’s precisely that type of experimentation that’s going to help you find the best techniques that work for you and your dildo.
What If You Don’t Like It? – Don’t stress if a certain technique never feels good for you. Even if your best friend swears by using a dildo hard and fast, it might not be your cup of tea. Furthermore, your body can respond differently for a variety of reasons. One day you might love milking the G Spot while the next it might feel irritating.
Factors like which phase of you menstrual cycle you are in [5], stress, fatigue, illness and your level of arousal all play into how good – or poor – a particular dildo session or technique can feel. Of course, the same is true for sex too.
Experimenting with a variety of techniques and positions means you can switch to something more gentle if your cervix is particularly sensitive or you discover new ways to pleasure yourself, so masturbation doesn’t become stale or routine.
You can also surprise a partner by introducing new techniques and toys – if he or she is comfortable with them – into the bedroom. You might become a better lover or be able to explain how your partner can better satisfy you after trying these tips. Almost all of these techniques can translate to a real live penis or vibrator (tips on using a vibrator for maximum pleasure here), but you don’t need any extras to have plenty of fun with a regular dildo whenever you have a few moments to yourself!
Hi do you know anything about the penis statue and if it is on view, the artist, provenance etc. Is it in s private collection? Thanks!
lol laying on my side and squeexing my legs together made my pussy leak! it felt amazing!!!
I agree! Also to tap your Mound and build up the tempo until you are on the verge and then penetrate with a dildo is fantastic.
Me and my man are unable to see each other at the moment…but we both have needs. I’m too shy to buy a dildo or vibrator…and I’m not the greatest fan of fingers…so what else can I use?
Maybe get it online, that way you never have to talk to anyone about it.
Hi Anna, I hope you have a bathtub because it is my absolutge favorite way to pleasure myself. No fingers or dildos required all yo uhave to do is lay on your back in the bath tub, scoot your bum right against the tub, under the faucet and your legs up on the wall. the use your feet or hands to turn the nozzle on, I suggest you play around with the temperature and if you can focus on the feeling, making light movements light changes in water pressure and temperature.Your body is going to beg you for more pleasure, try not to give in let the tension build up.
– G
My wife was the same way. In a short time we realized the value of toys and she now has a huge collection. We arenow regulars weekly at the toy stores. Use those fingers for now, but run out and get you one. I suggest you shop in person to get a good idea of size. No need to be shy. My wife now loves to give blowjobs, recieve oral, and absolutely loves anal. Huge squirter! So proud of her. Our marriage went from wanting to fulfilling. We never turn each other down for sex anymore.
Laying on your back and holding a dildo up while thrusting your body like you’re riding it feels great 😉
Thank you for this extremely heteronormative article. People who aren’t straight use dildos, too.
I’m not being rude or anything but the website is called badgirlsbible. As in the person who made this was aiming for a female crowd. If your a male or even offended you should look for somewhere aimed at your point of view and not criticise there advise.
She meant leasbians. Like me… Wasn’t that obvious ? Your info is useful but it did pop into my head that you continuously refer to a sex partner as your man. I wasn’t offended, it was just clear that you have no thoughts on the lgbt community. By being more open you may attract a larger audience…also help more people I reckon …
Really? Does it really matter if the pornons are male or female? This is an article about how to use a dildo. Whether your partner is a male or a female doesn’t matter to this topic.
Inclusivity, even in the most seemingly benign way, is extremely important to a lot of people. Just because something isn’t important to one group, it doesn’t mean it’s not important at all.
Learn English and especially spellings.
I agree Betty. I’m Bi too and my toys are very special to me just as my partner (male or female) is.
To me number 5 made me squirt everywhere
What are some different house hold items that you can use as dildos if you don’t have enough money to get one right now or if you aren’t old enough to get one?
This guide has 31 different things you can use.
The end of a hair brush
When I was a teen I used many items covered with a condom- a toilet paper roll holder, a hot dog, a razor handle (take the blade off before!) get creative but using the condom for sanitary reasons is very important
I recently bought a silicone 5″ dildo. I have never used a dildo before and decided to get one since I don’t like the idea of having casual sex and ending up pregnant (my body doesn’t react well to birth control). I have never had sex with a guy with a circumcised penis. I have read online that for most women it actually hurts them. I have come to find out that this true with this dildo. I get wet real easy and even being wet, it hurts me to take out the dildo. Same with inserting. I’m thinking in returning it and getting a different one. The website I bought it from allows you to return and exchange only. What kind of dildo do you recommend me? I bought a silicone realistic one because I read online that silicon is easier to clean and doesn’t attract bacteria like others do.
My advice is to read the reviews of other dildos on sex toy stores and talk to friends to figure out which is the best one for you.
First of all girl, are you sure you are vaginal? have you tried clitoris stimulators before? if the penetration is hurtful, you should drop the dildo ideas and get something that will stimulate your little hooded guy up there. No need of insertion to have fun. My advice is the Womanizer for a guaranteed orgasm. I had doubts at first after reading all those reviews of women saying they had come in less than 2 min with it….. but after having tried it. I confirm! It’s very different than any other toy you would get. It doesn’t vibrate but gently pulse around your clitoris….. I highly recommend it!
Good luck! 🙂
can you have a vibrater in your vagina while you have a dildo in your butt
Sure
My batteries died and fond your guide very helpful.I have a penis and vagina both and love that God made me this way
This is great!! Try sitting in a tile flooring and stick your suction cup there then squat real low and back up I the top of your dildo!! I scream so loud
One really big technique that my wife ADORES (don’t do this one unless you want to possibly risk never being able to have intercourse with her again) is for me to fuck her with the dildo while I give her oral.
Unless I really hold back she comes like in 2 seconds.
I love that way it gets me hot
I can’t believe you didn’t talk about getting a dildo with a suction cup. That was my girlfriends favorite thing to do. She said she could control it easily in every way she wished.
You see Duane I love that very same position that your wife adores… but my bf uses his finger and penetrate at the same time.
Its good information for the users especially the ones planning to use the materials. For men its good as well for us to know the most sensitive parts in the women’s vaginas.
Thanks
I just had surgery a month ago and I want to insert something deep inside me. I like in fast
Im a man n im just adout to try all them b4 my gf takes over
Thanks so much. I think this tutorial might be usefull to show it to our boyfriends and lovers in general. I understand the different ways i can get stimulation, but guys dont seem to understand very well the difference between spots. I dont know why is it that so many of them thinks that you can get an orgasm only by stimulating the vagina. And i find this graffics very helpfull to explain.
Thanks so much, again, for making this awesome work. The page is excellent, the contents are high quality. And its really helpfull to end this sort of vagina-analphabetism we have to deal with, constantly. It took me several years to understand it myself. Sorry for my really bad english, im from Argentina.
I’m a newbie, what’s everyone’s fav vibrator to use
I am new to the page and never have I used a sex toy,I am tempted to get a dildo but I’m not sure like if I get one.Can I hurt myself trying to use it?
If it’s too big or your are not wet enough, then it can hurt you.
My bf just got me a dildo because we are in a LD relationship and I love it. I send him videos to get him off while I’m not there 😉
I started using a dildo with the help of my mother when I was a senior in HS…my mother knew I was way into sex and
she did not want me to get pregnant, so thence a dildo…she bought me a small one to begin with and I gradually migrated to lager ones.. I am married now to a most wonderful man and he and I use my dildos ( yes I have an assortment of them in color , design , and size) and he is not in the least intimidated by me getting off with my dildos..
In a few days I will be going out of town alone without husband or kids I will be staying in a hotel so I will try to make it the best but my question is what toys should I get to enjoy my intense Os I haven’t had one in years so I’m looking forward to this HELP
What toys? It all comes down to your personal preference. One that many women adore is the womanizer.
When I travel, I use one of those large ‘Hillshire’ sausage (with a condom of course)from most markets or convenience stores where I may be. For me they are a little larger than what I’m used to which is nice, and the firmness is quite realistic. The ability to fill myself without discomfort is most satisfying and I actually have orgasm from the deep penetration that I just don’t experience with my hubby. Throw it away when its time to go home and hubby never knows as he is a little sensitive about some things.
Man. I get SO close to squirting from e dry position but it just doesn’t come out! I feel like I’m going to pee, and it almost feels like I /am/ but there’s no liquid. Any tips???
The key at this stage is learning to relax and let go. It’s SUPPOSED to feel like you are about to pee as both your pee and female ejaculation come out of the same tube.
I have a rubber realistic dildo I just got recently and love sticking it in my vagina while on my back and when I start thrusting real hard I go fast as I can. I make myself hurt so good that when I am done and I take it out I still feel it in me afterwards for a while which is a great sensation.
I just got my first dildo to help me become looser so my boyfriend can insert a lot easier. This has really helped me when I want him but I can’t go to him.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I gotta get back to what I was doing~
I was wondering.. why didn’t the article address the cul-de-sac spot? I read that if a man or dildo hits that spot (down and sort of behind the cervix) then it’s a surefire way to orgasm.
How refreshing to find so much common sense talked about an issue which is a perfectly normal activity and has been for many years. I believe that the oldest dildos found were from the tomb of the wife of Ramases the Great, so their history is hardly a recent occurrence.. They have had a bad press for many years due ton the uneducated attitude of moralistic bodies who regard anything to do with sex as obscene.
Considering that physical disability can now provide specs to enable one to see better frames to enable us to walk better,hearing aid to assist our hear, dentures to allow us to eat, walking aids to assist our mobility, and many more devices to allow us to continue our pleasures, a dildo is just another aid.As for it being of a personal nature, yes of course it is, but what could be more personal that a full set of upper and lower dentures ?
Great point, well said
As a guy with a micro penis and early onset ed, I had only been able to satisfy my orally and with fingers.One day I came home early from work and discovered her masturbating with a large dildo. At first I was upset but then I was turned on by her desire to be penerated by a big cock. I started buying her average sized dildos which over time got larger and larger over time. Seeing her take the John Holmes dildo balls deep and hesring her moan so loud is so hot!! She is very addicted to this dildo as well as her Jeff Stryker one. My wife is as “loose as a goose” now. As good as these dildos feel to her I still wanted her to experience real human big cocks. My wife was reluctant to want this but with my persistent coaxing she agreed to let me hire a male escort for her. He was very sexy and well hung . When he started caressing her it was awkward at first andI felt jealous but when his cock was in her I was totally into it .Hearing them both moaning really turned me on.Then when he came and pulled out of her seeing his sperm drip from her put me over the edge. We currently have our hot and hung mutual male friend service her regularly. Dildos are great but From my experience my wife enjoys real life cocks better?
My problem is that none of the “set the mood” and “prep” works for me i feel absolutely nothing but disgust when i try touching myself and low lights and calm music just put me to sleep i tried touching myself to get myself in the mood and every time it does the exact opposite 🙃
Hmmm…maybe there’s something else that’s turning you off?
Even as a male you can use those Tipps to stimulate your girlfriend.
Even as a male you can use these tipps to stimulate your girlfriend and surprise her , because most men don’t know how to reach the climax of her
I’m new to using toys but I have a question why does it hurt in I try to put one in, it’s like I can’t get it inside of me is that normal or am I just overthinking 😭
It may be too big for you. Try using a smaller dildo
*Self-pleasure
And there are most likely HEAPS more spelling- and grammar-mistakes in the article.
Shouldn’t a “journalist” know how to use the chosen language?
Pretty embarrassing for you… 😡
thank you for spotting this 😉 ….that’s right, I’m thanking you with no capitals…muhahahah
But seriously, thank you!
Don’t forget the ultimate dildo, the “Magic Banana”! I was totally amazed with so little effort and came/squirted several times during my oh so short session. Its a-dick-tive! Seriously I just recently opened this thing up, which I’ve had for several years, gifted by my who else but my daughter who didn’t need it, she’s 27 and has a beau of going on 10 years. Anyway, it’s a must! Please try it out before you try anything else out.
Hey, um, I’m still so new to self play, or play with others. We’ll im new to pleasure in general. My now ex tried to have oral/clit play given im saving true sex for marriage, though I did buy myself a dildo. Rhe main thing for thus is it normal for ones body to pull into itself or throw yourself off the bed when your partner is trying to make you feel good? Like I was enjoying it but I couldn’t stay still and it was like my body wanted to get away to the point I threw myself off the bed. Is there anyway to help that?
Everyone’s body reacts differently to receiving pleasure, although throwing yourself off the bed doesn’t sound normal.