This guide on clitoral stimulation is going to teach you multiple techniques to rub, grind and stimulate you clitoris when you’re masturbating alone and during sex allowing you to experience all types of intense orgasms with your man. Think of this guide on clit stimulation as an extension of my other masturbation guide here.
Note To Men: You guys can also perform these techniques to help give your partner more intense orgasms more often.
While you can skip down the page to the techniques by clicking here, I first want to cover a few important things that will help you to get the most out of these clitoral stimulation techniques and experience eye-rolling, screaming orgasms.
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Podcast on Clitoral Orgasms (& Vaginal Orgasms Too)
Before reading the clitoral stimulation guide below, you may want to listen to the podcast I recorded on having more clitoral orgasms, more often. In the second half of the episode, I also talk about having more vaginal orgasms.
Listen to more Bad Girls Bible podcast episodes here
Your Environment & Frame Of Mind
This part may sound boring, but it’s important, don’t skip it. Creating an environment that puts you in a great state of mind is paramount if you want to have satisfying orgasms.
This includes things like:
If you want to give your man back-arching, toe-curling, screaming orgasms that will keep him sexually obsessed with you, then you can learn these sex techniques in my private and discreet newsletter. You'll also learn the 5 dangerous mistakes that will ruin your sex life and relationship. Get it here.
- Making sure your bedroom is fresh and clean.
- Setting up the light in a way that makes you feel comfortable. This could include using candles, putting a t-shirt over a lamp to mute the intensity of the light or even just turning off the lights altogether.
- Lighting a scented candle, burning incense or wearing a perfume that gets you in the mood.
- Having a glass or two of wine to relax and get in the mood.
- Wearing something that makes you feel sexy or wearing nothing at all.
You’ll find more in-depth tips on how to get in the mood in this section of the Vibrator Guide. Also, you may want to check out the guide on increasing your sex drive and this article on how to make yourself aroused.
Know Yourself First
The first type of clitoral stimulation we’re going to cover is masturbating and rubbing your clit. Then we’ll cover multiple clitoris stimulation techniques to use during sex.
Softly On The Side
This first clitoral stimulation technique is very easy. You just need to rub the side of your clit with one finger. There’s no need to start applying pressure directly to your clit just yet. Instead, rub your clitoral hood or keep your finger just far enough away from it so that it’s not making direct contact.
Start with very light pressure so that it feels like you are almost teasing yourself. Then as you start to become more and more aroused, increase the amount of pressure you use. You should be able to reach orgasm this way, but if not, then all you need to do is bring your finger closer to your clit and even make direct contact with it for more intense stimulation.
2, 3 and 4 Fingers
Moving on from using a single finger, is using more or even your entire hand. This of course provides more stimulation, with each finger running over your clit right after the previous one. You can run your fingers from side-to-side or you can move them in a circular motion. As always the key is experimenting with what you enjoy the most.
My Most Powerful Clitoral Stimulation Techniques
For fifteen more clitoral stimulation techniques using only your hands, you should check out our in-depth masturbation guide. It’s got detailed illustrations of each of the fifteen techniques that will bring your wave after wave of orgasmic pleasure. Check it out here.
Now it’s time to learn the clitoral stimulation techniques that you can use during sex.
First, You Need To Get Your Man On Board
All of these clitoral stimulation techniques work incredibly well when properly performed, but if your man is not in tune with you and your body, then you’re not going to get much out of them.
That’s why you need to talk to him and let him know what you need and what buttons to press to get you off. Otherwise, he will just be guessing what he should be doing. And if he’s focusing on the pleasure of penetration and thrusting, you could wind up with no clitoral stimulation or orgasm based on your clit position and size [1]. This means no orgasm for you.
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If you are having trouble talking to your man about what you want and need in the bedroom, then my advice is to check out our guide on sexual communication here.
The Most Important Thing
The amount of pressure you apply to your clit is almost always the most important aspect when it comes to pleasurable clitoral stimulation during sex. If your man can’t apply enough pressure, then you’re not going to feel much sensation.
Always keep this in mind when changing into a new sex position. And if you’re looking for new positions to try out, you’ll find over 100 different positions to choose from here.
The Grind
The most effective clitoral stimulation technique you can use is what I like to call The Grind. 
At a basic level, you will be grinding your clitoris against your man, but there are large number of variations you can incorporate depending on your personal preferences:
The Up & Down – Assuming you are in the Missionary position, your man simply needs to press the area above the base of his penis (this area includes his pubic bone) into your clit and grind upwards and downwards as he is thrusting in and out.
Side To Side – A variation of this is for him to switch to grinding from side to side on your clitoris instead of thrusting. So he needs to stay as deep as possible while grinding from right to left to right to left and so on.
Circular – Another variation is for him to grind in a circular motion on your clit while remaining as deep in you as possible. Doing this has the added benefit of making his penis move around and stimulate all your vaginal walls as he does it.
I’ve mentioned that your man should be doing all the grinding, but in reality, you can do it too, or you can both do it simultaneously. Experiment and see what you enjoy most.
The Vulcan
This next clitoral stimulation technique works best in girl on top sex positions like Cowgirl or the Man Missionary. While you are on top of your man, and he is lying down, he needs to lower his hand down the centerline of his stomach with his palm on his belly. When he reaches his penis, he needs to spread his fingers apart so that he makes the Vulcan “V” sign like in the illustration above.
So his baby and ring finger will be on one side of his penis, while his index and middle finger will be on the other side.
As he presses the Vulcan V down on his penis, his knuckles should come into almost direct contact with your clit, with his fingers pressing against your labia. As his fingers and knuckles are obviously very hard, it can make for some intense grinding when you start pressing your bodyweight down on them.
Men: are you looking for more tips. Find out how to make her orgasm.
Vibrating Cock Ring
While some crazy folks think that using a vibrating cock ring is somehow ‘cheating’, most people see the very fun benefits of having your man wear one during sex. Sometimes these cock rings can slip out of place during sex, so don’t be afraid to readjust it if necessary.
A Little Self-Help
When you are in a position like Doggy Style or almost any anal sex position(here’s 19 anal positions you should try), then there is going to be zero pressure on your clit. The majority of women find clitoral stimulation more pleasurable than vaginal stimulation [2], so if you are in this majority, then positions like Doggy Style be frustrating.
So if you want any chance of cumming in these kinds of positions, then you’ll need to give yourself a hand and rub your own clit. There are 3 different clitoral stimulation techniques that you can use here:
1. Manual Masturbation – This is the obvious choice and has the added benefit that you know exactly what you prefer. I’ve created a whole guide on the most satisfying masturbation techniques here.
2. His Hand – Of course, you could just get your man to take over and masturbate you with his hands while in a Doggy Style position like these ones. You may want to show him the Masturbation Guide so he has lots of different techniques to use.
Also, make sure to give your man lots of feedback on what you enjoy him doing and what you’re not so fond of.
3. Use A Vibrator – Using a vibrator is NOT cheating. In fact, if you currently struggle to climax during sex, then a vibrator can help with that, even if you’ve never had an orgasm before [3]. While most vibrators aren’t specifically designed for sex, you can find some that you can comfortably wear, and that stay in place during penetration without you needing to hold them.
Of course, there are also vibrators like the WeVibe that are designed to be used during sex.
The Right Positions
I’ve spent the first part of this guide talking about the clitoral stimulation techniques you can use during sex that involve using your hands or vibrators. The funny thing is there are many sex positions that naturally incorporate lots of clitoral stimulation like the ones below.
Coital Alignment Technique
The Coital Alignment Technique or CAT as it is sometimes known is all about clitoral stimulation. Performing this position is very similar to Missionary position, but with a few differences.
Your man won’t be thrusting like in Missionary position. Instead, he will stay deep inside you and move his body as forward as possible over you. Doing this will cause his penis to point downwards, and he will be making plenty of contact with your clit.
Then he will grind up and down on you. If you need more pressure than he is providing, then you can grind back against him. Click here to check out the main Coital Alignment Technique Guide.
The benefit of this position is more consistent and stronger orgasms [4][5] and the possibility of mutual orgasm [6]!
Cowgirl
This classic position will have your man lying down on his back with you straddling and facing him with one leg on either side of his body.
While you can bounce up and down on your man in this position, you will get a lot more clitoral stimulation if you lean forward, resting your weight on your arms/elbows and then start grinding forward and backward on him. The amount of clitoral stimulation you get during Cowgirl position depends a lot on both you and your man’s body shapes. Check out the Cowgirl guide for more info.
Thigh Tide
This is a position that you probably haven’t tried before. You will have your back to your man and will be straddling just one of his legs.
While straddling his leg, you then need to hold it firmly and pull yourself into it so that you get lots of clitoral stimulation. Find out more about the Thigh Tide position in this guide.
Woman On Top
The Woman On Top position is very similar to the Cowgirl position with even more focus on clitoral stimulation. You need to straddle your man in this position just like in Cowgirl except this time you will be leaning forward and resting your weight on either your hands or elbows like in the demonstration.
You’ll then be grinding yourself on your man. This position requires a bit of core strength, so if you have strong abs, you can grind down hard. Click here to learn more about the Woman On Top position.
Drill
The Drill is another variation of Missionary position that provides lots of clitoral stimulation. As you can see from the demonstration, you’ll be on your back with your legs wrapped around your man, pulling him into you.
Play around with how high you wrap your legs around his waist and how you position them for maximum clitoral stimulation. Learn more about the Drill position here.
You Know The Best Clitoral Stimulation Techniques
I have given you a big selection of different clitoral stimulation techniques that you can start using tonight. However, you will ultimately know what works best. How? Because everyone’s body is different and responds to different things. So you need to experiment with these techniques and figure out what you enjoy most.
Remember, like with all my advice in the Bad Girls Bible, you need to treat these clitoral stimulation techniques as guidelines and not as the only way that you can pleasure yourself. Experiment, evolve and adapt them to suit you. And if you’re looking for more ideas and techniques to pleasure yourself, check them out in this guide.
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I put together this in-depth, step-by-step instructional video that will teach you how to make your man sexually addicted to you and only you. It contains a number of oral sex techniques that will give your man full-body, shaking orgasms. If you're interested in learning these techniques to keep your man addicted and deeply devoted to you as well as having a lot more fun in the bedroom, then you may want to check out the video. You can watch it by clicking here.
i love it more than anything
I’m men and I love to shower my woman and go down on her all men sure learn to please a woman and let have some fun to
I have done all of them! I got screaming orgasams for 2 of them! I want to talk dirty so anyone willing please comment below!
Hey Becca,
This article will help get you up to speed with talking dirty. Enjoy!
so amazing becca
Yes i want to i rubbin on my clit right now a d jt feels so good
Excellent guide to njoy
Omg yes it feel so freakin good
Exactly I just have one and it felt amazing
Buy some ky
I like it becca
Dear Bad Girls Bible,
I tried this out and it worked, I am single. I tried gently rubbing the side of my clit and other things too and I got screaming orgasams! I loved it! Do you have any more websites on these kinds of stuff?
Habe you tried the pearl panties that rub your clit while u squirm around in the chair at work
I will love to masturbate at work. How can I???
Go n the bathroom
I would love that
Up and down and side 2 side were balm
I agree
I will
Hello.becca
How do you dominate a guy you are having sex with
The guide on dominating your man will help 🙂
i just cum better than all the other times and trying all of them one after the other and i was shaking by the end i love this web page
really?
These tips sound really really good I’ll try them with my boyfriend
I have a question. Do women actually cum? Like men, but less? Thanks!
Yep, most women cum when they orgasm, but it’s usually less than men
Acctualy women cuming when their orgasm?
Excellent fun
My pussy feels so good with that pearl necklace but I have a question can I put my vibrating tooth brush in me so it can feel as if my man is pounding thick cock in me. (Sorry its in sexual detail I just got some yummy dick uugggh and he twitches so good in my couchie)
I uses battery operated tooth brushes all the time! I skeet every time too! I buy them just for that purpose????. I don’t put them inside me though, may cause scar tissue or small cuts. I use them on the sides of my clot and OMG, the best orgasm ever????.
what is a orgasm? do you have to cum for it to really be called a orgasm?
Hi, I tried so many clitoral techniques. I’m male 24 and she’s 23.
I’ll get to the point: What my hands/finger should do when she’s about to orgasm/cum while I play with her clitoris?
Do i keep rubbing? Do i stay still? My girl said stay still when she’s really close to orgasm, but she always ended up unsatisfied. I tried to rub her clitoris hard, but ended up un-pleasurable. I told her to masturbate, but she won’t.
Any suggested techniques?
The best thing she can start doing is masturbating to figure out for herself what is most satisfying and enjoyable for her. Then once she figures out what her body needs, she can teach you.
When she is very close but getting super sensitive try a very light but rapid touch or use your tongue gently (the best) or if she doesn’t have anything in her vagina adding a figer while keeping up the same clitoral stimulation or adding a little anal stimulation can sometimes take a woman over the edge. What you do not want to do i press harder. A frank and honest discussion about what she wants or prefers sometime AFTER you are finished is often helpful
thanks for the guide. i want to know how i can get my girlfriend to squirt using maybe my dick or fingers and also give her a vaginal orgasm.
Hi Roman,
You’ll some techniques for helping to make her squirt in this post.
hi
my gf wont orgasm as much as i foreplay. i go down on her every single time .
sex is fun but ive never seen her orgasm.what should i do?
how do i become good at foreplay and sex?
Hi Biggie, talk to her and see if you can find out what she needs (feeling comfortable, specific techniques, etc) to reach orgasm.
Remember that fore play is everything you do and everything you say for 24hrs prior to getting naked.
This can include G-string (:-I)> or going commando whilst seeing a movie (:-D)> dinning out or going for coffee (;-o)>?
I have tried everything but I cant orgasm. what do I do?
Hi Taylor,
You may need to add some fantasy to your sex. My wife does this and it works great for her. You need to get your mind to release hormones to make you horny. Men release hormones from sensual: visual mostly. Women’s hormones are triggered by emotions, for example, reading a romance novel. Fantasy also puts your mind in an emotional state to release hormones which will make you horny. You need to think about what kind of fantasy you imagine yourself in that you would find sexually arousing. For example, my wife fantasizes that she is being raped by Clint Eastwood. I add to that fantasy by rubbing my face stubble across her nipples at the right time. (a little pain, not too much) That just sets her off bigtime! I can read her body language to tell when it’s ready to start techniques described here. It is almost like she is already half to orgasm before even touching her clit. Before fantasy, she seldom got to climax. With fantasy, she now gets to intense, screaming, squirting orgasms causing her entire body to quiver every time. You need to build your own fantasy – the sky is the limit!
Hi I always tend to get pretty close to climaxing while masturbating but I can’t seem to get off, any tips?
This one is a bit tricky. You really need to try and “let go”, just keep going. If that’s still not working, then try using a vibrator.
Best,
Sean
*HUGS* THANK U SO MUCH
I can pressure bomb my clit n climax, spank my pussy n climax, gspot penetrate n climax, even squirt but I can’t take constant clitoral stimulation n climax but I think ur gonna help me A LOT. ? THANK U
When I was masturbatin, my vagina got a bit numb. This is the second time it has happened. Why? How can I stop this from happening again?
omg try the squeeze, but just squeeze your clit really repetitively really really fast and omg it is a god 🙂
Omg! I will certainly try that! Thx!
Im doing them all again! Its like heaven! I never felt so much pleasure!
Thanks for the tips
Hi,
Do you have any advice for indirect clitoral stimulation? Whenever I masturbate with direct clitoral stimulation, I reach a point where all my senses are magnified, but I can that it isn’t orgasm. As I try to keep going, it becomes painful to keep stimulating my clitoris. I really don’t know what to do. I’ve orgasmed before, but only once during doggy style.
Thanks
i like to lick on it
Do the. Doggie style position whilst rubbing your clit and up and down or side to side your knees shall start shaking and then the finger yourself it feels like heaven
OMG! I love these techniques! I am using this site to come out as a lesbian! I need a partner to fuck around with. Hit me up please!
Omg this is realy good! these tips realy are amazing
try rubbing her clitoris up and down which will directly touch her clit.. when she said she wants to orgasm.. change your technique by moving your finger in circular motion.. BUT you need to do it fast and gentle.. also, if your up to it.. do it while you whisper (does it feel good? , ouh im going to make you cum so hard , ooouhhh let it out my love , ill make you feel skyhigh baby) really close to her ears in a sexy way
#i usually made my girl cum in less than 5 minutes. When she is cumming…. never stop… just keep rubbing gently. She would probaly sink her clit in so you need to dig. Sometimes i manage to make my girl cum 3 times in a row less than 5 minutes.
goodluck
I love sex but I also enjoy my me time. When my husband leaves for work I take my panties down and spread my legs. Slowly I run my fingers across myself touching everything except my clit. Slowly I trace one finger around the outside of my clit. I do this until I’m throbbing. Then I dip my finger so it’s nice and wet and put my wet stuff all over my clit. I take my finger and make sure my clit is soaked. I love feeling my clit swell under my fingers .Slowly I rub above it, then around it. By now my hips are thrusting and I’m moaning a lot. I start rubbing up and down my clit slow. Finally I take my fingers and softly and quickly flick it side to side. I cum so hard my entire body shakes.
God that was so hot 😉 I’m soaked now
Very hot stuff
I do the same. I am very sensitive so my fingers are in my pussy minimal. But I rub my hard clit very well
Once I start rubbing I’ll do it slowly but then I speed up…ill start to finger fast but then I cum I still want more but I can’t take it how do I keep going to make it feel good and to make me cum again?
Many women (and men) become very sensitive after orgasm, which makes continuing uncomfortable. This is often unavoidable.
Wait a good 20 seconds and go back at it I promise you will cum sooo fast I do it all the time now that I figured that out
kind of sad this is addressed to only women, as a transman, and directed towards only heterosexual couples, but the tips help– thank ya.
I enjoy all the tips here…I’ll be sure and try them. I want so bad to squirt for my husband. This is something he so desires. I would also like to have multiple orgasms.
My pussy is throbing but how do u use a toothbrush to make me cum
I love all of this I have done most of this all ready just has teach me do do this better… I love getting very wet I cum a lot I have sex me time or whatever it maybe I could do sex or me time all day
With all that’s been said, I’d like to add that the size of your labia major and especially mons veneris has a drastic effect to how much stimulation you are able to get by just grinding during intercourse. With more flesh surrounding your clit, it can be impossible to receive enough sensation in able to cum.
And just to point out, the amount of flesh on your mons veneris doesn’t have much to do with your weight, rather it’s an individual characteristic like the shape of your breasts.
Also men, do take this into account, as it might really affect the way you are able or not able to reach her clit in various sex positions.
My husband and i have found an amazing benefit in just putting a pillow beneath my hips in missionary. some of the best stimulation
So simple and so effective, thanks for sharing E
Hi so I am 20 and have never really masturbated in my life or at least succeeded, I know what to do when I’m having sex. I have trouble getting “in the mood”or arousing myself at all. I just can’t turn myself on at all Anyone have any suggestions because I’m going fucking crazy
First, you need to focus on minimizing things that affect your arousal. These are things like stress, tiredness, feeling uncomfortable, etc.
Then, once you are at ease, you need to focus on the things that turn you on. Do this and you’ll find it much easier to get in the mood
I masterbate at least two times a day. I rub my self and cum very quickly. I love dick and pussy.
I rub my clit all the time & cream it feels amazing
Hi there I’m not very big but I love sex and I love to go down and lick my wife and suck on her clit but some times I feel like I don’t please her enough during intercourse what should I do
Talk to her and maybe check out some of the techniques in the Bad Boys Bible.
Have fun!
Hi
I don’t think I’ve climaxed or reached orgasm. I decided to buy a vibrator.. But as soon as the vibration gets intense and my body feels crazy I stop coz I can’t handle the Vibration… It’s too nice yet I can’t relax in order to release whatever is coming…
Is this normal? How do I relax?
You may want to try mindfulness or the womanizer vibrator which won’t make your clit so sensitive.
Hmmm interesting but I think some more factual information on how to stimulate your man while stimulating yourself. I’d hate to think it makes him uncomfortable while stimulating my clit but continues just to help me get off. As selfless as that might be I want to make sure he’s getting off too and does so comfortably I’ve read various ways to do this but not ways on how to do it while stimulating myself at the same time if that makes any sense any advice…?
Talk to him and figure it out together. Every guy is different so only he will have the answer to this question.
but mine doesn’t splash that squirt out.she only cums from inside.is it ok ?????
Sounds normal