This is Chapter 4 of my Blow Job Guide, and it’s all about teaching you how to give head and finish your blow job with style.
You can skip down this page to the 15 techniques for giving your man head and making him cum like a fountain by clicking here, or you can keep reading to learn about the important aspects of your manās physiology which will help you give him incredible orgasmic pleasure.
Side note: If you are currently struggling to orgasm during sex or masturbation, then you may want to learn about the Easy Orgasm Solution. It will teach you how to have multiple vaginal and full body orgasms during sex and masturbation. It works even if you currently struggle to orgasm during sex or when masturbating. You can find out more here.
1. So Sensitive
Men and women both have something in common that they never talk aboutā¦the head of his penis, known as the glans [1], is very similar to the exposed part of your clitoris, the clitoral glans [2]. It’s super sensitive and packed with nerve endings.
This similarly continues when you or your man is close to orgasm. Hereās why:
As you get closer and closer to orgasm, your clitoris becomes increasingly sensitive until you reach orgasm, at which point your clitoris usually becomes too sensitive to touch. Then after orgasm, your clitoris will usually remain too sensitive to touch for a few minutes.
This time when your clitoris is too sensitive to touch is called the “refractory period” and has been documented by researchers to happen to 96% of women [3]. So if your husband has been rubbing your clit, bringing you to orgasm, you may have noticed how painful it is if he keeps vigorously rubbing it during and after orgasm. It’s pretty painful, and I’m guessing you pushed his hand away for a moment due to the sensitivity, right?
The funny thing is that the top of your manās dick, his glans is similar to your clit. As he gets closer and closer to cumming, the tip of his penis gets increasingly sensitive. Then as he starts to orgasm it will become almost painful if you keep stimulating it heavily. If you do keep stimulating it intensely, then donāt be surprised if your man tries to stop you. Then after his orgasm, he will enter a refractory period where his penis will remain supersensitive [4, 5, 6].
Understanding this is vital to bear in mind to give good head to your boyfriend. As he reaches orgasm, the top of his penis is naturally going to become hypersensitive. If you keep massaging and rubbing it vigorously, then you’re going to make him uncomfortable and will ruin his orgasm.
Equally, if you take his cock out of your mouth and stop stimulating it altogether, you are also going to ruin his orgasm. He still needs a tiny amount of stimulation.
The Solution – As your man climaxes and starts to ejaculate, slow everything right down to a snail’s pace so that you are softly licking, kissing, and caressing his penis with your tongue, lips and mouth. Slowing right down to a snail’s pace is the best way to guarantee that his orgasm is super powerful…and NOT painful. The people who give good head understand this fact.
With this in mind, let’s learn some other great techniques you can use to give your husband head and completely blow his mind.
2. To Spit Or To Swallow, That Is The Question
When your man starts ejaculating into your mouth, you may be wondering what you should do with his cum. There is no “right thing” to do; it’s all down to your personal preference. If you can’t stand the taste, then feel free to spit it out. But if you don’t mind it, then try swallowing it at least once to see if it’s something you enjoy.
Even if you don’t adore the taste, you may enjoy it as an erotic act. Many guys find it particularly erotic seeing their partner swallow their “seed,” and some guys even find it hot to watch you play with it using your fingers.
Another option is to already have something tasty in your mouth to mask the taste of his semen. I go into detail about this and list things you can use to mask the taste of his sperm in Chapter 3 here.
The main thing to remember is that as youāre the one giving him head, itās your choice as to what you do with it. Youāll find more tips on swallowing his cum in tips on swallowing his cum in Chapter 9.
Yet another option, if you don’t like the taste of his cum, is to deep throat him as he climaxes. This way, his cum will hit the back of your throat and will avoid your taste buds. Of course, you’ll need to be able to comfortably deep throat him in this case. That’s where the guide on how to deep throat without gagging comes into play š
3. Edging – Your Secret Weapon For Giving Better Head
Edging your man is like having a superpower. It prolongs his pleasure and makes his orgasm so much more intense when he finally ejaculates. That’s why this tip on giving head is one you can’t afford to ignore.
Here’s how to edge your man…
1. When you can tell that your man is close to finishing, stop stimulating him, so he does not orgasm. You can do this by taking him out of your mouth and stopping your blow job completely, or if he’s not so sensitive, you can slow down your blow job, so you’re stimulating him less intensely.
Either way, he should not cum!
As you reduce your stimulation, he will realize that he’s not going to cum yet and will feel like you are teasing him slightly. Perfect š
2. After a few minutes of barely stimulating him, start to increase his pleasure and bring him close to orgasm a second time.
3. Stop again, and don’t let him cum yet. Reduce the amount of pleasure you’re giving him, so he misses his orgasm a second time.
4. After a few more minutes of barely stimulating him, start to increase his pleasure again and bring him close to orgasm a third time. This time let him cum.
When he does finally cum, his orgasm will feel a lot more powerful than normal because he got so close twice beforehand. This is the power of edging!
Of course, steps 1-4 are just guidelines; you can edge him 3, 4, 5, or however many times you like before you finally give him head. The key is bringing him close to climax without letting him cum a few times before you finally allow him to explode!
Note: Some readers may think that all edging does is frustrate their man. It doesn’t. It simply teases him, and this teasing leads him to have a stronger orgasm.
Just ask him how it felt after the next time you edge him if you don’t believe me, or try edging on your own when you masturbate. Discover the best masturbation techniques for women.
It works on you too! – Don’t keep edging just for your blow jobs. It also works great when he is eating you out, during sex, or even when you are masturbating alone. Yes, edging can lead to stronger orgasms during masturbation!
You can find our in-depth edging guide here.
4. Finish With Your Hands
Perhaps you are repulsed at the thought of him ejaculating into your mouth. Thatās no big deal. A great way to avoid this when giving him head is to finish him off with a hand job. As he reaches orgasm, simply take his penis out of your mouth and use your hands to finish him off. The Hand Job Guide has some great tips for giving him a killer hand job.
But if you don’t have time to read it, then here’s how you should finish him off with a handjob…
As you notice him getting closer to orgasm, take him out of your mouth (click here to learn when your man is close to orgasm) and softly grab his shaft near the head of his penis. Then simply move your hand in a fast up and down motion, moving about one inch up and then one inch down, making sure that some of your fingers are wrapped around his shaft while the others are gently rubbing over the head of his penis.
You can give him extra pleasure by using your free hand to cup and gently massage his balls while giving him a handjob. Alternatively, if he is particularly well endowed, then use two hands on his shaft.
Read More: 9 Testicle Massage Tips + Techniques
As he gets closer and closer to orgasm, start stroking faster and faster until he climaxes. Once he starts cumming, loosen your grip until it’s almost featherlight and slow your stroking right down so that it’s very slow. Loosening your grip and slowing your stroking will give him maximum pleasure and minimum pain.
5. Light Or Heavy
While you can use any of the blow job techniques and tactics in previous chapters as your finishing moves if you want to give him great head, I want you to think about how much pressure you use to finish him off.
Do you go
Light, Slow & Gentle?
Or…
Heavy, Fast & Intense?
Light, Slow & Gentle – By this, I mean that you are barely touching your man with your mouth and tongue, you are moving very slowly, and you are gentle with him as you bring him to climax. Doing this is great for prolonging the final moments of your blow job and keeping him in ecstasy for longer.
Heavy, Fast, and Intense – This is the opposite. You will be stimulating as much of him as possible, as fast as possible, and as intensely as possible when you are finishing him off and making him cum. While this will make him orgasm more quickly, it can feel far more animalistic.
Most guys find that both options are enjoyable.
It can be seductive and sensual for him when you slowly, softly & gently tease him to completion.
On the other hand, getting lost in the heat of the moment and desperately trying to make him cum with furious intensity will drive him wild.
Try both options and see what you and your man prefer.
Keep in mind the importance of variation here. If you always get him off with passionate intensity, then try spicing up your blow jobs and slowing it down a notch from time to time.
6. Pearl Necklaces, Facials & Body Painting
A very sexy and hot alternative to letting your boyfriend finish in your mouth is to have him finish on your body. There are many different ways to do this.
Pearl Necklace – If you are on your knees while giving your man head, then a simple finishing move is to let him ejaculate and cum on your neck, giving you a “pearl necklace.” Learn more about pearl necklaces.
Body Painting – Of course, there are far hotter parts of your body to have your man finish on. These include your breasts, back, and butt. But these aren’t the only places he can finish on. If you happen to have a foot fetish, having him explode all over your feet and toes can be incredibly hot. The same goes if you have a fetish for any other body part.
Facials – Everyone knows about facials as they can be incredibly hot when giving your man head, but…everyone has their preferences. So if you don’t particularly like the idea of your man ejaculating all over your face, DON’T ever feel compelled to take a facial for him.
However, if you are neutral to it or even turned on by the thought of it, then definitely try it out at least once with your man when you finish up giving good head. Thanks to porn, almost all guys are well aware of facials, and many are very turned on by the thought of it. It can be an incredibly submissive and intense experience.
Note: Be aware that his cum can sting and irritate your eyes, so when he is giving you a facial, make sure to close your eyes or grab hold of his penis with your hand so you can control and direct where he ejaculates.
7. Incredibly Intimate Finish
Some believe that oral sex is a hot, but not a particularly intimate act.
They’re wrong.
The truth is that giving your man head can be insanely intimate if you make it intimate, and for some couples, this might be key to giving good head.
Here’s how…
Hold his hands – Holding your man’s hands as you give him head feels somewhat intimate until he is about to cum. Then it feels incredibly close & intimate as he cums. His hands will squeeze yours as you make him blow his load.
Tell him how you feel – When your man is about to cum, take him out of your mouth and finish him off with your hands while telling him how much you love him and how much you enjoy making him cum.
Related: Do women enjoy giving oral sex to men? – 1,114 Woman Study
Make eye contact – More on that below…
8. Look Into My Eyes
Iāve already talked about making eye contact with your man during fellatio in Chapter 3 here and why it works so well. Making eye contact with him as he reaches orgasm can be an intensely intimate experience, especially when you consider the fact that men find oral sex more intimate than women do [7].
There is just something incredibly sensual, connecting, and intense about staring deep into his eyes as he climaxes and starts cumming. You may find it to be slightly submissive being on your knees, looking up at your man while you give him head. Or you may just enjoy the feeling of sexual power as you see him writhe in pleasure while you control him completely using only your mouth.
9. Final Position
Think about what position you will be in when your man explodes in your mouth. Do you want to feel submissive, dominant, experience mutual pleasure, or something else?
I’ve talked briefly about the different blow job positions you can use when giving head in Chapter 2 of the Blow Job Guide, and I go into more detail (with pictures) on each blow job position in Chapter 6.
I’m not going to repeat myself here, so check out my advice there if you want to learn more about what blow job position to use.
10. How To Tell When He Is Close To Orgasm?
One of the things many readers ask even if they know how to give good head is, “How the heck am I supposed to know when my man is going to cum?”
It’s surprisingly straightforward!
If you are giving your man a BJ, but you don’t want him to finish in your mouth, or you want to time it perfectly so that you can give him a facial or have him cum elsewhere on your body, then knowing when he is close to orgasm is vital.
Here’s how to tell he is about to climax:
- Start by listening to his breathing. You’ll notice that as he gets closer and closer to cumming, he’ll start breathing faster and taking shorter breaths.
- Additionally, his body will begin to tense up. So if you have a hand on either his stomach or thigh or even in his hand, you’ll feel it starting to tense up.
- Some guys start to get more vocal as they reach orgasm, but others remain quiet. It depends on your man.
You can probably notice that all these signs from his body are very similar to what your body does as it reaches orgasm.
Then once he begins to orgasm, his cock will start twitching or throbbing as he ejaculates.
Of course, some guys may announce it, which makes it easy for you to tell when he’s about to orgasm.
12. Secret Spice
Everyone has preferences when it comes to sex…
You do.
And so does your man.
- He may enjoy finishing on your face, but not enjoy seeing you swallow.
- He may enjoy making you gag during deep throat or not enjoy receiving deep throat from you at all.
- He may like you being submissive when you give him head, or perhaps he gets off the best when you are dominant.
The key is discovering these preferences and then using them to maximize his pleasure when you go down on him.
So you may want to add some ideas from these guides to ensure you are the best that he’s ever had:
- Dominating him. Even more domination tips.
- Stimulating his prostate
- Being submissive for him
- Talking dirty
- Tips to make it kinkier
- Nipple stimulation may be his thing
- Bondage
- Does he have other erogenous zones that drive him wild
Discovering which extra elements he likes is key to giving amazing head.
Here’s an idea, finish by letting him thrust between your breasts (AKA titty fucking) before letting him give you a pearl necklace.
Or you can keep him in your mouth and suck firmly to give him a more intense orgasm and draw his cum out [8 p 37].
13. What To Do If He Has Trouble Finishing
It’s completely normal that some guys don’t orgasm easily during oral sex. It doesn’t mean that you don’t give good head. It’s also very similar to how some women have trouble reaching orgasm when their man is eating their pussy, during regular sex, or even when masturbating alone.
If your man has trouble finishing when you give him head, there are two main things that you can do to ensure he has an easier time finishing in the future.
1. Steady, Strong & Consistent
If he can’t orgasm easily during your blow job, then make sure to provide maximum stimulation to his penis while keeping your “stroke” as steady and consistent as possible. Consistency is key here. Otherwise, he will lose his concentration and find it harder to cum.
2. Get Him To Stop Masturbating
Some men use a strong, vice-like grip when masturbating that doesn’t accurately mimic your mouth or vagina. This is sometimes known as “Death Grip.”
They always masturbate using this super-tight grip, and eventually, their penis adapts, requiring huge amounts of pressure and stimulation in order to climax.
Then when you give him head, your mouth can only provide a fraction of the pressure that he uses when he masturbates. His penis will barely feel it, and he won’t get anywhere close to cumming.
It’s frustrating, but there is a solution…
If you want his penis to return to normal and for him to climax from less pressure, then get him to stop masturbating for a few months while you still have sex and oral sex together (even if he can’t cum from it).
Over time, his penis will adjust and become more sensitive when you give him head, allowing him to more easily cum and appreciate that you give the best head.
Related: My Man Can’t Come Anymore
Some guys have trouble coming from partnered sex because they become conditioned to a certain hand stimulation style (death grip) during masturbation [9]. So having him pause masturbating can help with that, too.
14. Communication, Communication, Communication
Something that is often overlooked when giving good head and finishing him off is that you need to talk to him. Assuming that he likes this or hates that or is indifferent to something else is a bad attitude to have. You can learn a lot from the Bad Girls Bible. However your man is the only one who can teach you how to give good head the way he likes it.
Like I said in Chapter 1 of the Blow Job Guide, great communication is vital if you want to have a great sex life. Keeping this in mind, itās vital that you communicate your own desires to your man. If you donāt particularly like the idea of him cumming in your mouth or on your face or even on your body, then talk to him and let him know how you feel.
Find out how to make talking about sex easier in our ultimate guide to sexual communication.
While I always encourage you to experiment and try new things (as long as it’s safe and legal), if you aren’t comfortable doing something, don’t ever feel compelled to do it.
Equally, if you don’t talk to him, you’ll never discover what blow job techniques he hates and what ones he fantasizes about.
Of course, as he’s close to orgasm, he may not be able to articulate what he wants or even what feels good [10 p 124]. Just keep doing what you’re doing.
15. Next
Remember that this is Chapter 4 of the Blow Job Guide. You can learn all the different aspects to giving great head, from building up to your blow job in Chapter 2 to what techniques to use to deliver maximum pleasure in Chapter 3 of this Blow Job Guide.
You’ll also learn all the ideas you can try to keep it exciting, varied, and fun for your man in Chapter 8 whether you’ve been giving him oral sex for a few weeks or a few decades.
If you’d like to learn some advanced oral sex techniques, to make him never desire another woman again, then you should check out Chapter 5, where I will teach you the same methods pornstars use.
Chapter 6 has pictures of the most pleasurable bj positions, and Chapter 7 will show you how to deep throat without gagging.
Orgasm Every Time. Easily. Hereās How...
I want to tell you about my friend Karen.
Karen came to me one day. She was hysterical.
She told me that her marriage was falling apart because she and her husband didnāt have satisfying sex.
Every time they were intimate, Karen was faking her orgasms. It turns out she couldnāt orgasm during sex.
In fact...
She never had an orgasm in her entire life. Not one!
This left her feeling embarrassed and ashamed.
Even worse...
She stopped wanting sex with her husband, slowly driving him away, and...
Almost destroying her marriage. Thankfully...
It turns out that there is a simple solution for women who struggle to orgasm, whether you are having sex or masturbating.
I shared the process with Karen.
After she followed the simple process, she could barely come to terms with how...
Quickly and dramatically her sex life changed.
We met up a few months later and...
She would not stop talking about it,
āI thought I was one of those women who couldnāt orgasm. I used to think I was ābrokenā and āunfixable.ā This saved my sex life, and that saved my marriage.ā
Even if you currently struggle to orgasm during sex or while masturbating, this process will also work for you.
And best of all, you donāt need to do anything weird or uncomfortable to start having the best orgasms and sex of your life.
miss6 says
wow my man loved it! thank you so much!!
Irene says
My husband really enjoyed me using these techniques! Thank you!!!
donna says
I love ā¤ what you right for a better blo job,I’m pleasing hubby more,and more I’m not gaging any more,thanks to your advice,its so amazing I’m learning to lie on my back and hubby deep throat me ,were talking about a 3sum for me hubby mate 9incut with a bull noise head shape
Swordigo says
Me nd wifey started a couple of yrs ago with threesomes…and its all thanks to her various techniques of blowing…The bestest of all is that the other loved nd enjoyed everything about the way she sucked him.The thrill u get when u see from a different angle excites u so much nd at the same time my wife wouls glance at me and the filthiest wettest fun starts…Full nite.till sunrise.
Tonya says
I would just love it if some of these sites would also mention that a womanās nipples are a gateway to the clitoris. Get them babies stimulated and the clit goes crazy!!! THEN, you start the other maneuvers and the time time it will take to make us SQUIRT, SCREAM and SHAKE would be far less that just beginning with the tongue. Just saying. Ladies who agrees with me?????
Jann says
When I masturbate, I always include my nipples. I lick them and twist them and it gets me so fucking hot that I keep squirting before I orgasm!
Chloe says
Really great tips. I would just like to reiterate that the woman has every right to choose what to do when a man starts to ejaculate and one should never feel pressured into doing something that you are not comfortable with. I find sperm very disgusting and for as long as I remember I have always just switched to hand job as soon as I feel that a guy is getting close. I would also ask my partner to tell me when he is about to cum to make sure I do not get any surprises.
Swordigo says
Yes you are right to make that decision if u not comfy with it…So why do you blow when u not completing the first rule of blowjob thn it becomes pointless.coz I can tell u that a man’s dirtiest desire is for a woman to make him cum in her mouth.If he satisfies all your sexual needs e.g going down on you,I bet he does.at the same time his mouth is on your “lips”licking and “eating”…….Does he complain about having your liquids in or on his mouth.I doubt it very much….You will never understand the feeling that goes through his penus when receiving head while cumming…
Compromise Lady.Even if u dislike sperm in your mouth.U dont need like or love it.Atleast make him happy.Co if he says that the session was great.Then hes lying.JUST TO MAKE YOU HAPPY…
Anonymous says
Jeez, sheās not gonna force feed herself something she hates. If you feel pressured into doing something youāre not comfortable with by your partner, then itās not a healthy relationship.
Sean Jameson says
Amen
Kt says
So you would rather she forced herself to do something she doesn’t like? Doesn’t sound like her partner’s are that bothered. You sound selfish.
Yvonne says
In my experience, if you have his cock as far back as you can when he starts cuming, you wonāt even taste it to much. It goes right down the back of your throat. Then both are happy lol. I kinda got use to the taste but I swallow as fast as I can. Havenāt tried playing with it tho in my mouth. Also the taste can be changed depending on what he eats or drinks.
Jason says
Hello much respect for your comments!
Jason
Erica says
I truly love your guide to blow jobs. I really found your information so helpful and inciteful. I really found the deep throat sections very helpful in broadening my oral skills. Your section on swallowing, which is a clear turn on for me sexually, as I clearly find my self getting moist in my panties. The techniques and suggestions to change things up with respect to collection and eventual swallow were a clear turn on for myself and my partner. Just love this bad girl guide! Cannot wait to read more on other aspects of sex.
Sean Jameson says
Thanks Erica!
Swordigo says
Hi.I’ve always wanted to know what made you to love swallowing?I am just a bit curious coz I’ve noticed that when my lady starts swallowing my pre-cum,she tends to become more hardcore and horny.I would then ask her while shes busy blowing…if she would love to swallow more nd the answer would be in sound waves of delightful moans,I would even ask her to swallow my sperm nd she immediately begs me to explode with loads of sperm…but I would like to know from you what turns u as a woman on when you start tasting the man’s sperm that you would want to go the extra mile…I want to know what goes through my ladies mind at that time..Please tell me.
a dude says
As a guy, I have one problem with this. Not every guy becomes too sensitive as they orgasm. For me it’s best to keep everything going exactly as it is the entire time, so it’s not a one size fits all situation. Ask whoever you’re with what they want.
Sean Jameson says
Excellent point, thanks dude!
Hooked says
With one extraordinarily loving woman Iāve known several years, continues swirling thru each incredible spasm (this works if it is gentle progression to incredible orgasm with low friction leading to a mouthful, she can make it a double in under 7 minutes. Yes I timed it once after hearing itās impossible. Five out of ten times, if she never stops after that last twitch, and only licks and stimulates in all the same ways at 1/4 throttle she brings me back and either takes me to another intense toe cracker (with smaller load) or lets me experience what I love, cumming in her mouth AND āinsideā her in one session. The ultimate expressions. Sheās the only person Iāve ever known who can do this. Our relationship is truly special.
Chicky Chick says
Another great tip to help you to go down on your man in the best way possible to use your hands as well. Even though your mouth is what really gets him going, you can never do too much. Using your hands to stroke the shaft and to stimulate his testicles will drive him wild and this contributes to the strength of his orgasm. This will easily paralyze him with pleasure and really get him going in bed.
Wendy says
Yes! My man loves mouth and hands together. More stimulation for him = more fun
Brian says
As I guy, I would like to say that one of the worst mistakes some women make is to stop stimulating the penis during ejaculation. Ejaculation is a series of many “spasms” which forcefully eject semen from the penis. It seems that women often lose concentration when ejaculation begins – likely because of momentary surprise of the somewhat unpredictable timing of climax, or perhaps their understandable desire to closely observe in awe the physiological proceedings of a man expelling his load. For me, the most satisfying orgasms occur when my partner continues stimulation with the same intensity and focus until all of my seed is expelled. Then, almost immediately (as Sean correctly states), the stimulation turns from pleasurable to increasingly too intense to handle. But please ladies, err on the side of overstimulation at the end…don’t stop until you’ve completed the job!
Rhian says
Thanks for the tip Brian! From my experience, I totally agree. I’ve always found that it’s best to keep everything going until he’s entirely done…but then I always lay one.slow torturous lick down, but that’s just because I’m a jerk. :p
Que says
And that truly does make you a jerk. Not only for doing it to whomever but for giving the mental image as well.. x)
red says
i know most women stop during ejaculation because they legit just got shot in the back of the throat without warning.. sometimes a heads up is nice. And i heard stories of vomit worthy cum tastes from some mates and they’re just trying to be polite and trying not to be sick as they cum.
Octopus says
My problem is usually just that sometimes I can’t tell if he wants me to keep going/is done, because I already have so much cum in my mouth. So I think it would be helpful when they say that’s enough š
IBADI'ARAN says
i really needed this….thank you.
Amanda says
The man Iām with brings out complete desire, an overwhelming sex drive. I crave him. I enjoy tasting every part of him. Having his cock in my mouth at some point during sex is a must. It drives me crazy to hear the sounds of pleasure he makes. On the occasions when he can cum in my mouth I drink it in & swallow every drop. Itās not the tastes but the act itās self knowing heās giving me his load with abject pleasure & Iām taking it with the abject pleasure. Itās incredibly intimate.
Jessie says
Im the real shy sex type. I like to have sex, but ive wanted to give a bj but im too shy and i always wanna know what my guy thinks about if he liked it. Im too shy to ask him or even talk to him about these things. Idk what to do. My shyness is taking over.
Kaitlin says
You need to commucate with him ask him questions. Iām the same way. Iām a little shy
But you wonāt know anything if you donāt talk to your man. I asked my bf what he like and dislike and he would tell me. Give it try.
To talk to ur man. Donāt let ur shyness get in the way.
Yvonne says
I never gave head before we were married. He wanted me to but I didnāt. But I slowly worked my way down and did a little at a time. Once you start that it will be easier the next time. I watched some videos on deep throating a couple years ago and shocked the hell out of him. Yes he loves it and I get better every time I do it. Iām no expert yet but as I go I improve. For some reason Iād just rather give him head and not even bother with sex.
Cricket says
Have you ever heard of a man enjoying the bj you give him so much, that he would rather you finish him off that way, instead of making love? I donāt understand, especially after he told me, that whenever he plays with my nipples, it makes my vagina come alive, squeezing him and contracting. Heās starting to act like my vaginaās not good enough anymore!
Sean Jameson says
Yes, this can happen if your oral skills are that good. Congratulations! However, he should also be working on pleasing you too, so make sure to talk to him about your needs and wants. If he’s a good lover, then he’ll naturally want to please you too.
Alex says
A few thoughts….. Before my wife, I found that about 100% of my female lovers gave blowjobs. Some enjoyed the act more than others. About half swallowed. Just because they swallowed didn’t mean they were amazing at giving a BJ. I dated one girl who gave amazing BJs and yet she was repulsed by cum in her mouth. That never took away from the pleasure of her BJs! With her, she compensated for not swallowing by not just giving amazing BJs but also saying naughty, sexy things. I have always looked at swallowing or the facial as a bonus to be grateful for. My wife even after 17 years of marriage still gives me plenty of blowjobs and has always swallowed…even since day 1. She allows facials, too. It’s up to me where I cum–she has made that clear to me. So I am kind of lucky. One thing I do agree with is the need to keep stimulating the cock during orgasm. If I’m cumming in my wife’s mouth, she’ll keep sucking away as the sperm is flowing and then swallow and keeping “milking” me. I can get sensitive immediately afterward but this is so pleasurable. There are few things worse than cumming with no stimulation.
Lisa says
My boyfriend of 3 months doesn’t cum. He says it feels good and I’ve tried all these techniques. Never had this problem with any other guys. Sometimes there is precum. I could be sucking for 15 mins and after a while is starts getting soft. Help.
Sean Jameson says
Get him to stop masturbation for a few weeks, even up to a month.
Louise says
Ive had the same problem but I solved it by asking him not to cum for a week and then I gave him a blow job, still for a long time but in the end he came
Peach says
Thoughts on circumsized or not I find uncircumcised are more easily able to get hard and quickly reach organism (depending if they are drunk or not),,,,and circumsized men need longer as they arenāt as sensitive,,,,thoughts?
Sean Jameson says
Have you reached statistical significance? š
The truth is that it really depends on each guy. Some guys who are circumcised have premature ejaculation and some who are uncircumcised struggle to cum.
Octopustastic says
It’s because the penis loses a lot of sensitivity over time when circumcised. Because of their pants, because of sex, because of masturbation. The more sensitivity they lose, the harder they masturbate, and it gets even less sensitive etc. It’s also a big reason they will try to fuck harder, or longer, and why giving a blowjob can prove difficult.
Circumcision is a bad idea for so many reasons, but this is the biggest. I think it’s just plainly unfair to do to baby who doesn’t even have a choice. š
Funny thing is I had never been with someone who hadn’t been circumcised until I was about 20-21 years old, and I had a lot of partners before that. I actually didn’t know how to work with it! lol
Judson says
Circumcisem to a guy is like is like what women have happen to them in the Middle East. only they are like 15 or around that age. Mostly with out numbing the area. For boys it numbed out now days. This is a Jewish thing, however American, English doctors realized they could justify it by telling that it makes for healthier pennas when circumcise and they found they could charge and make more money by doing it. However thinking about that, for century’s it was not something that was done to male baby’s! Their is a movement now going on on Facebook to stop this practice! And has a good fallowing!
red says
my boyfriend hates it when he hears slurping noises (eating anything really, will flinch) and does not like eye contact. Im finding it so hard to make him cum with just those two rules. Being quiet is making it difficult cause i feel like im supposed to be slurping on his dick, and i have to concentrate more on noise half the time. and im not ugly or anything that he doesnt want to see me, he just doesnt like it, when i asked about it. in the 4 yrs we’ve been together i’ve made him cum twice with a blow job… both times drunk :/ sometimes he says i get him so close, and it just makes me feel horrible at not being able to make him cum. I think i’ve looked at over 50 sites, i just dont know what im doing wrong, even when i ask him he doesnt know either… or so he says.
Sean Jameson says
Get him to stop masturbating for a few weeks. It will make him super sensitive.
Octopustastic says
Maybe you could have him wear headphones, listening to something, or ear plugs, or something, lol
He wouldn’t be able to hear slurping then…. I think this part is probably necessary in a way.
Angel says
I really wish I can do all this to the guy I would be meeting soon
Angie says
So my bf and i dated for 3 months and together 3 months i never really cared abput pleasing others or keeping interested i am a bit agressive some ways as is he and i got courage not completely sober lol a few drinks which i dont do often so no judgments please i never had sex talks etc i always got mi e and rolled over or left. Like a man i broke down telling him i want try him cumming in m mouth. Amd like i enjoy giving him oral but usually fiinsh with sex he doesnt want sex as much as me i could every day he could few times a week makes me feel like im not enough or something wrong but qhen we have sex its great but he dont last long. And oral he loves he says loves i dont try so hard o want please this man more then ever or anyone and get mine as well not sure what to do without him being pressured he works 13 /14 hrs a day and i dont want swallow or a facial but nervous. To go about in my mouth or it change way he sees me.
Dave says
I am happily married and get 2-3 very skillful blowjobs a week from my wife. She has learned some great technique with her tongue, and recently learned to take my cock down her throat. One thing I still have to remind her of is to use her hands. There is nothing like the hands working on the shaft and the balls to intensify the pleasure. Needless to say, I am a very satisfied man.
Rob says
Yes Dave, so true about the hands. My wife uses her saliva and a twisting motion to jack off her lover while she sucks on his cock head. When she does this method it always results in him cumming soon.
Binudist says
As a guy who has given his share of blow jobs (and I really love giving head) suck and stroke the first half of his cock slowly, at a snails pace with plenty of saliva for extra slippery and a very light grip on his shaft.Then occasionally tickle and lightly brush his balls with your fingertips of your free hand, as he reaches the point of orgasm,slip a finger of the free hand up his ass while still working his cock as described.He will cum like a fire hose.When he starts cumming,either quit sucking and keep stroking slowly or vice versa.At this point you can work the entire length if you want to but to get him to the point of orgasm,just work first half and keep fingering his ass until his orgasm is finished then stop and withdraw from his ass but keep working his cock very slowly and lightly until he stops you or he is completely limp.I’ve always been told i give amazing blow jobs and that’s my reward.i want to give the very best blow job I can and please the guy I’m with because I love doing it and I want them to come back and see me again.
Octopustastic says
Just never do it without asking, honestly. You never know when it’s a bad time to, or if they don’t like that…. Otherwise it is magic.
kylie says
okay i need some big advice. my boyfriend wants to do sexual stuff. and yeah i do too iām just so nervous and scared too. not because of him just because iāve never done anything like this and iām so clueless. but he had experience. i donāt know how to do anything or what to do while doing it. i need some serious help
Sean Jameson says
That’s what the Bad Girls Bible is here for. The most important thing however, is to make sure you only do things that you are entirely comfortable with. Don’t feel forced into doing anything.
ky says
i need serious advice. i have a boyfriend who wants to do sexual things, and donāt get me wrong i do too iām just so scared. i have no experience with anything but he does. i donāt know how to do anyh omg or what to do while doing it. help
Maria Amaya says
My boyfriend wants try bondage..which i don’t mind… He knows what to do but i don’t. Can you give me some insight?
Sean Jameson says
The beginners guide to BDSM should help š
alejandra says
I suck the tip of my husbands dick whenever Im about to suck him up . Do they like that or not?
Sean Jameson says
Lots of guys like it, but…every guy is different, so chat to your man to find out if he enjoys it
Ran says
I think sucking is a mis nomer!! its more about sliding it in and pulling it out slowly and then swirling around the head as you do both the pull off and push on. looking up at your lover telling him I want you ..to cum there is the hand job part at the tip again but telling your guy ..cum for me I want to watch. then the finish is much the same but way slower..and smile that pixie smile!
Bp says
I have a question. I have been married 25 years. And just started giving my husband blow jobs again. Apparently he is ticklish on his balls and I have been experiencing different ways to pleasure him. Last night I asked him would he mind having a blowjob daily and he said no. Maybe once or twice a month. I said well I must suck at it if you dont like it he was like nah I’m just kidding maybe half and half of a month like 15 days out of the month. This put me in anger mode. I need some help here cause I feel like he just isnt in love with me like he use to be. I love giving him head but apparently he dont like it and used to he asked me to do it all the time. Can someone please give me some advice on this. I’m so confused and starting to feel unloved and I just dont know what to do anymore
Adriana says
If you’ve been married for that long (congrats!), your husband could be of the age where he’s losing a bit of testosterone, which decreases his sex drive and ability to get and remain hard. Both of those could be why he doesn’t desire blowjobs as often. Perhaps you connect sexually and lovingly in other ways. I understand that you’re angry because you want to pleasure him and be close to him and perhaps because you worry that he’s no longer has strong feelings for you. For both the sexual and romantic issues, communication is the only way to understand how he feels and why he feels that way.
Melissa says
Im eager to learn more
ran says
can you make yourself cum while giving head? could be testosterone is low…wish I had this as an option!
Hooked says
From my 25 year perspective Iād say āevery other dayā too. Thatās because the desire to be close thru intercourse is sometimes needed just as much. Might just be me.
SO says
How do you stop your jaws from getting tired?
Sean Jameson says
Take a break š You can continue by giving him a hand job though
ran says
Flick the tip and concentrate on the 1-2 inches with tongue swirls and push on pull off like your eating a ice cream cone…then rubbing your clit to make yourself ready to cum and ask him to please cum for me babe!
Kim says
Given head is awesome and deep throating while he eating you at the same time is the best. I love when he touches the back of my throat. I also love tea bagging. Nothing like some good cum on the back of your tongue. I love sex and we get wild and crazy with it. I even taste myself off of him and that turns him on as well. I love tasting my juices that is so sweet.
Steph says
I can give my husband a blowjob or hand job for awhile and he says oh I’m getting close, so I keep going to make him cum of course. But then, nothing. At some point it’s like he’s just over it. Even when we’re having sex we can go forever and just flat out never finishes. It’s so frustrating, I want him to finish! Please any advice will help!
Sean Jameson says
Get him to stop masturbating for a few weeks and up to a month. His sensitivity will increase greatly
Dally says
I had a girl once go completely berserk because I blew a huge load right in the back of her mouth. She got even madder as I finished my stringy ropes all over her living room carpet with my own hand mind you because she pulled my cock out of her mouth.
I asked her, “What did you think was gonna happen?” “You placed my fully engorged, purple, pulsing penis in your mouth and sucked it like you had a straw stuck full of ice cream. What did you think would happen?”
Ladies…..if you do this, he WILL cum. Not if he will cum, its when will he cum. If you don’t want his warm ejaculate in your mouth, you better have a contingency plan. I.E. neck, breasts (my personal fave btw), face hair whatever. But dont let him start his release and then be sooooo surprised that you mouth exit his cock and make him finish himself.
Here, let me edge your little clit with my tongue and mouth for 45 minutes and then I’ll get up and go turn on Sport Center on. Same thing š
JW says
Even God is sucking cock these days and swallowing.
Ran says
I am somewhat scared to cum in my ladies mouth I cum so hard!!! and she doesnt like the taste or thought of it, so my desire is to see her let it dribble out and keep some contact with either her hand and mouth with squeezing out the last drops from my shaft and then the look… of yeah look what I just did to you ! with a finish of a push on swirl and a pull off slowly several times
Daniel says
Communication is the key to good sex , does’t it?
If you don’t want him to cum in your mouth, maybe you should make this known before you start blowing him, no? I personally feel that getting mad at Dally was rude, to say the least. Predicting when he is on the edge of coming is usually straightforward enough. I personally make it a point to let her know when I am about to cum, so she can exert her options. In any case, if it happens, like Dally says, “what were you expecting”?
In the same topic, I also feel that ostentatiously spitting his cum can be unpleasant to him. Nothing spells “I am disgusted” more loudly. And we obviously don’t want to feel we are disgusting…. I had a gf who INSISTED on giving me blowjobs, because, as she said “she wanted to show me her love by pleasing me”. She did not enjoy it for a single second. And seeing her run to the bathroom to spit in the toilet bowl made me feel, well…. you can guess. Eventually, I ended up refusing to get blown. This lead to us fighting. Paradoxical, don’t you think? I thought that “no means no”…
If you don’t want to swallow, which is legitimate, there might be more elegant ways to work around that? I had a gf who would just keep licking and kissing my genitals and my abdomen, leaving trails of cum and saliva all over me. It was very sexy and sensual. Another of my gf got into the habit of going up and kissing me.It was very intimate. But f swallowing is a problem, the easiest thing to do might be to just make him cum out of your mouth, at the last moment?
Sunny me says
Hi guys, I Have an issue. Iām not sure when to give a bj to my man because after he comes we canāt have sex right? Unless he gets hard again. Very often he does not continue or initiate another sex session but we do
Kiss and cuddle up until itās time for us to go. I donāt know what to do. I hear a lot of people saying that their partner give them a lot of bj but when is it time for sex? Sorry Iām confused, help
Kate says
After a good Bj wait for about 15min or so and then go down on him again this time just to get him hard, i find it best when he are laying there recouping. After he is totally erect again climb aboard and ride. He will be pretty spent from just getting off so you do the riding. But encourage him to hold onto your hips, kiss, fondle your breasts or even offer for him to suck on them as you ride. He doesn’t have to just lay there, but take that control and have fun the nice thing is it will take him longer to cum the second, third, or forth time that night whichever round your on so enjoy, enjoy, enjoy. P.S. During head I like to push the tip of my tongue real hard from his balls up the urethra to the tip this will force a little precum out top tip of the head, i will play with it with my finger or playfully lick it up. He loves this. I love giving my husband head and he knows it. I always tell him how much i love his manhood. Sometimes I like to wake him up to a bj to start his day, then go about getting ready for work or whatever like that is how the day was supposed to start. Its his favorite alarm clock and he never knows when it is going to happen which is the fun part for me.
Kate says
Also ladies if your husband has had a bad day at work or whatever let him relax, make him dinner, and while he is watching the game or TV with his beer or drink. Get on your knees and give him a nice blow job soft and soothing, let him cum, then let him continue to watch tv or whatever this is a great stress reducer for him and lets him know that no matter what he is simply the best to you. Don’t make him reciprocate he has had a bad day. If you need to get off you can play with yourself while giving him head or go to the bedroom and get out your little husband. I know it is easier for me to self induce while thinking of my big husband and saying his name as I work it out. He thinks it is kind of hot that I cant really do it without him at least in mind.
Mari says
I just wanted say thank you for tips u left here.
I used to saw oral as something bad, dirty. Than I meet my husband ,,to be” and from zero experience in it just really wanted to know what I m doing,found your page & started to learn how to suck it right .
Now sucking my men off is pleasure to me too, turns me on like crazy. Coz well I don’t feel like virgin anymore in it. Thankyou!
Really thank you š
Right person and right directions showed me completely new possibilities š
Vanessa says
I am having problems in this area, some days I will make him go crazy, but then later he would get soft in the middle of it, and getting mad that I am not doing it right. sometimes he likes me to hold him hard but there’s been also times where that kills the bj, he said is like I’m shocking him. and I don’t fuckig get it. I enjoy giving it to him, I LOVE it, and Ill do anything he wants me to do. I always do it with his pleasure in mind, more then how delicious is to me. so it contradicts what he sometimes feels.
how can I know what am doing wrong at the spot? please help.
Sean Jameson says
Keep talking to him and try to figure it out. Let him know your frustrations. The guide to sexual communication should help.
Rae says
I noticed the last few times he does not cum but how the heck do I tell him to stop masturbating
Gaius says
Important advice for women:
Youāre having sex with a guy, and heās getting ready to cum.
He pulls out, straddles your chests and starts stroking his cock close to your face, slightly above your chin. Itās clearly obvious what heās about to do..
If at this point you donāt say something along the lines of ābaby, please donāt cum on my faceā, than itās a definite indication that youāve given him the go-ahead, so you shouldnāt be surprised when you feel his cum splattering all over your faceā¦
Smooth says
I dated a woman who, in the beginning told me 2 things about blow jobs, donāt get used to them and donāt cum in my mouth. After a couple years of dating we found BGB. Her BJ skills improved drastically to the point she nearly fully deep throated me but couldnāt get over her gag reflex. We talked about her swallowing but I never expected it then one time she tasted my cum after a blow/hand job. She said she wanted to know what it tasted like. Eventually she chose to let me cum in her mouth. That was an unexpected treat. Iām glad I got to experience her swallowing me. Way cool and sexy but 100% her choice after we talked about it. The last blowjob she gave me, she watched my cum fountain when I finished in her hand. She smiled and said āthatās way coolā as it slid and dropped down her hand gripping my dick.
Communication is the first key to everything. I never put pressure on her do swallow but eventually she decided to break her own rule after finding BGB. She also ended up spoiling me with blowjobs. I never ābeggedā and sheād unzip me and pull him out.
I love lots of blowjobs. Cumming in her mouth was a treat and surprise that sheād do every so often. I enjoy her lips and hands sliding up and down on my manhood more than I care about where I cum.
Christine says
Sean, My boyfriend has never orgasmed from a blow job prior to me. He has told me that all the women that he has been with have told him that they could get him to cum with a blow job and have had no success. I am stoked that he finally orgasmed the last time I gave him a blow job. I wanted to thank you for sharing blow job techniques and so on. Prior to swallowing his load for his first time, he would get hard whenever I would pull my hair back, have my head close to his waist, and he would always ask for me to try to get him to cum I would tell him No I’m not going to try to make you cum But would love to suck your cock. Thanks again
Sean Jameson says
Glad I could help!
MM says
What about women that are really into pussy today more than ever?
Sean Jameson says
They should check out our guide on how to eat pussy.
Anne says
On the facials…ladies I urge you to try it. My man’s semen on my face leaves it feeling soft and looking radiant for a few days. š I hear it’s good for your skin too…
Quick question I tried to post elsewhere but I don’t think it posted then it kept giving me an error, but it’s relatively on topic for here:
My man would LOVE to have me suck his cock while another chick sucks his balls. BUT…well there’s no other chick he has in mind and I’m not sure I’m ready to share him like that anyhow.
So…in the meantime, I’d LOVE to give him the feel of this if I could. How could I use my hands to stimulate his balls while sucking on his cock, that would make the balls feel like they’re being licked and sucked? I’d love to do this for him.
Thanks for any help you can give. š
Sean Jameson says
Trying putting a lot of lube on your hands and his balls. The sensations can feel very similar to having his balls in your mouth for him. Let me know how it goes!