Not too long ago, when I would hear the word” bondage”, I never would have immediately gotten excited or thought “how fun.” For me, that changed the night my boyfriend and I went to a hotel room for a night of fun he had spent weeks planning!
Related: 29 new things to try in bed.
Side note: If you are currently struggling to orgasm during sex or masturbation, then you may want to learn about the Easy Orgasm Solution. It will teach you how to have multiple vaginal and full body orgasms during sex and masturbation. It works even if you currently struggle to orgasm during sex or when masturbating. You can find out more here.
I was thinking romance and candle light. While there were candles and music, there was also a blindfold, hand and leg restraints that he fit under the mattress, massage oil and a glass dildo and butt plug that could be used warm or cold depending on if you put it on ice or in hot water! These were all scary and daunting things — out of my usual routine. If he had told me, I probably would not have agreed to a few.
We have always had an open and fun sex life, and the introduction of some of these ideas have become favorites, leading me to recommend light bondage to others. Like us, you should also start out light. Practice bondage only with a partner you trust who knows you well enough to understand your limits.
Bondage itself pushes the limits and can open doors to a whole other side of your sexuality and activities you never thought you might enjoy. After our experience, I encourage all my girlfriends to try it!
Keep in mind though, there is a big difference between light bondage and full-on BDSM, and I want to explain before moving on to my tips! Light bondage usually involves (but not always) light restraints, blindfolds, mild spanking, toys and is for mutual sexual satisfaction for those involved.
Bondage is just one element of BDSM sex, which can be a lifestyle and involve some hardcore kink. Some people even join local BDSM meetups.
BDSM stands for “bondage and discipline”, “domination and submission,” and “sadism and masochism”. To keep BDSM safe, rules and contracts are often use. BDSM often involves pain and even erotic degradation, which you may not want for light bondage.
For some people, BDSM doesn’t include sexual penetration and is instead about the power play. Sex is not essential in full BDSM, but some people do include erotic and sexual acts.
There’s a lot to be epxlored. So start light. See just how kinky you are willing to get, and start with some of the ideas I have for you! This bondage guide for beginners is a great starting point.
Safety (Word) First
In any form of sexual activity, but especially in bondage, first things must come first. With bondage, it’s the importance and use of a safety word, also known as a safe word.
When giving up control of your sexuality to another person, there must be an understanding and level of trust. A tool used to protect yourself is a safety word. This is a mutually agreed upon word that is used when crossing a physical, moral or emotional boundary. It implies caution or stop. This word is important so as not to cause harm to the trust between you and your partner.
There are two categories generally used for safe words. “Yellow” safe words are used to let your partner know that no lines have been crossed yet, but they need to adjust the intensity or direction the activity is heading. “Red” safe words are an all out STOP.
I recommend sitting and openly discussing the use and implementation of a safe word with your partner before any form of play like this. Whether it’s light bondage or full-on kink. This is one very important rule that should not be overlooked.
Now that the safe words are agreed upon and understood, let’s get down to the fun stuff! Light bondage is a lot of fun, and there are quite a few ways to enjoy it. I am going to give you some of my favorite examples and tips on how to work this into your sex life.
TIP # 1: Blindfolding
As I said earlier, my boyfriend recently did this to me, and let me tell you, ladies, it was intense! There’s a saying that when one of your senses are taken from you the others heighten! Well, that couldn’t be more true.
When my ability to see what was happening was gone all I could do was feel. The lightest touch on my skin felt like fire. The softest kiss was achingly crushing. We used a blindfold bought from an everyday sex shop. But you can also use whatever is handy such as a neck tie, scarf., bandanna or even a t-shirt Anything to tie around your head and eyes. Keep it in place and let your mind take off!
To ease your way into bondage, add a blindfold to your regular sex routine without adding anything else new.
TIP #2: Verbal Bondage
Have you ever wanted to tell your man what he can and cannot do in a sexual context? Ever wanted to exert some control? This is the easiest way to do so, all while empowering the dominatrix within you!
Let him know he MUST listen to your rules, there will be consequences if he doesn’t! If you have fantasies about this, then you have wanted verbal bondage, a very fun and sexy form of light bondage! You can even play different roles.
Want to make him watch you play with yourself with that toy you just bought? Tell him to sit in a chair at the edge of your bed. Sit close to the edge and spread open in front of him. Lay down the rules! He is only allowed to watch! He can not touch you OR himself and if he does, playtime is over.
Be prepared for him to fail (I mean, come on, what man could resist reaching out and touching?). When he fails. you MUST follow through with any punishments you promised. Light bondage still requires some form of consequences, after all!
After some time, go back and try again. The pause in play will have you both wanting more and will only heighten the experience. If your naughty boy can manage to follow directions, you might reward him by moving on to my favorite tip!
TIP #3: Restraints
Oh ladies! I’m sure most of you bad girls have read all about this and Mr. Grey’s “Red room”! Let me tell you that reality is way better then fiction!
Have you ever been tied up? If the answer is “Yes,” then you know exactly what I’m talking about! If the answer is”No,” I suggest going into your boyfriend or husband’s closet and getting some neckties out and laying them on the bed because you must not go another day without trying this!
For me, this is the most liberating and sexy form of light bondage. Liberating in the sense that I am able to give up total control and just feel and be taken care of without worrying about returning anything. Add blindfolding to being restrained and you have one heck of a time!
Related: 17 Pleasurable BDSM Sex Positions To Explore Light Bondage
Make sure that the restraints or handcuffs aren’t too tight and are made from safe materials that won’t tighten if you struggle. This means silk scarves are out of the picture no matter how sexy the idea might be.You don’t want something that can harm you and potentially cut off circulation. If things are done well you will be pulling against them. More info on safety in BDSM in this post.
Whether just my hands are bound or my legs are restrained, too, not being able to touch my partner as he is doing things to my body is the most mentally and physically intense feeling I have personally ever had. I highly recommend trying this a few times, maybe in the same night!
So, there you have it. Light bondage is a sexy and fun thing for intimate partners to explore. Yet it’s not for everyone. Before introducing any form of bondage you should always have an open and honest conversation with your partner. You never know someone’s past, and there maybe reasons why someone has an aversion to some loss of control. Once you are both open and on the same page, however, let the exploration begin!
Whether you are looking for a fun and adventurous night with your significant other or possibly for a way to permanently define your sexual roles within the bedroom, light bondage is something every willing and consensual couple should experience and explore once at least. Not only does it have the potential to bring you closer, but it will open lines of communication and teach you about each other. Things you might not have known and in a very fun and sexy way.
Keep in mind not to go head first into “50 Shades of Gray” territory for your first time. That can be a very daunting situation even for the most sexually-liberated partner. Start light. Build from there. Enjoy exploring and learning your limits and your partners. So until next time bad girls, remember to untie your man from the bed before falling asleep and remember to HAVE FUN!
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I’m so in Love with my GF but to show that better? I MUST purchase some whips, blindfolds, a ball gag, nylon rope, and butt plugs!
Love comes through pain sometimes!
Looool better try the blind technique with my man,am pretty sure he will first feel not comfortable
My man is all for the “light” version of course I know nothing of it this being here. TY for the advice