I can't publish my most intense and wild sex tips online, so I send them in my private and discreet email newsletter. You can find out more here.
On this page, you’re going to learn powerful ways to build up to your blow job, AND you’re going to learn 27 wonderful, orgasm-inducing blow job tips that will make your man’s eyes roll back into his head with pleasure. Click here to skip straight to these blow job tips and skip past the techniques on for building up to your blow job.
By the way, this page is the second chapter of the Blow Job Guide. Chapter 1 of the Blow Job Guide is here.
Orgasm troubles? If you are currently struggling to orgasm during sex or masturbation, then you may want to learn about the Easy Orgasm Solution. It will teach you how to have multiple vaginal and full body orgasms during sex and masturbation. It works even if you currently struggle to orgasm during sex or when masturbating. You can find out more here.
Building Up To Your BJ – Teasing & Tantalizing Your Man
Some men are ready and eager for sex or a blow job 24/7. But this isn’t true for all of them. In fact, some guys take a lot of coaxing just to turn them on and get them in the mood, and as your man ages, this becomes more and more of an issue [1].
Here are a few different ideas you should use to get him worked up before you even get physical with him:
Sexy Selfies – Sending your man a sexy selfie while he is at work or is in the gym is the perfect way to turn him on and get him ready for fun times ahead. Using an app like Snapchat is best if you don’t want to worry about the photos being stored on your phone. Check out this guide to taking sexy selfies for more tips.
Dirty Texts & Sexting – While your man is at work or is just out of the house, try sending him some dirty texts, letting him know about what’s on your mind and what you are planning for later. It can be something filthy like, “I can wait to feel you explode in my mouth tonight.” Or it can be something a little more reserved like, “Can’t wait to see you later…and my lips can’t wait either ;)” Or you can describe in detail the blow job idea you’ve just learned and are going to perform on him.
You’ll get more great tips on sending your man sexy texts in this chapter of the Dirty Talking Guide.
Related: If you want to give your man back-arching, toe-curling, screaming orgasms that will keep him sexually addicted to you, then you'll find them in my private and discreet newsletter. You'll also learn the 5 dangerous & "dumb" sex mistakes that turn him off and how to avoid them. Get it here.
Out & About – If you are both out in public together or at a dinner party where you can’t possibly be intimate, then it’s the perfect time to lean across and whisper something in his ear to get him thinking about what you’ve got planned for later. The Dirty Talking Guide will give you step-by-step advice, examples, and tips on what to say to tease, tantalize, and amp up the sexual tension with your man.
A General Guideline For Tantalizing Him – Often, guys get turned on by a lot of things that many women don’t find arousing [2], so keep this in mind when you are coming up with your own ideas and tactics to tease him and build up to a blow job.
This explains why your guy may love seeing a picture of you naked, even though seeing a snap of him naked doesn’t do much for you. It also explains why you might get crazy horny when reading erotica, while it might put your man to sleep. In other words, just because something turns you on, it doesn’t mean it will turn him on, and vice-versa.
His Turn Ons – Your man may have certain turn-ons and triggers specific to him that massively ramp up the sexual tension and his anticipation. They could be literally anything from:
- Reminding him of some very hot sex you’ve had together.
- Whispering some “trigger” word or phrase in his ear.
- Sensually touching specific parts of his body.
- Looking at him in a certain way.
The key is knowing and understanding these specific turn-ons of his and then using them to get his mind thinking, longing for what you have planned later.
A Long Build Up – You can spend an hour teasing, tantalizing, and slowly building up to your blow job or… You can spend days doing it.
If you aren’t going to see your man for a while, you can start sending him dirty texts, sexy pics, and stories detailing what you plan on doing to him a number of days before seeing him.
The entire time, he’ll be thinking of you, desperate for what awaits.
Quick Quiz: Do You Give Good Blow Jobs?
If you are new here, then you may want to take the quiz below to learn how good you are at giving oral sex and satisfying your man. You may discover you that you suck (pun intended) or that you are already a blow job queen.
Not only will your man be eager for a blow job, but you may find that these things work to get you horny, too. Learn the things that our readers do to get horny.
Fellatio Foreplay
It may be surprising to hear, but men love foreplay to be drawn out significantly longer more than most women think [3], even if most men get turned on quicker than most women [4]. So, while giving him a quickie BJ can be super hot for both of you (like say sneaking away for a few minutes at a party), you’ll find that a slow, teasing build-up is going to result in your man blowing a bigger load [5]…and a bigger smile on his face.
This is probably the most powerful, but also the most overlooked blow job tip you can learn. With this in mind, here are a bunch of great “fellatio foreplay” tips that you can use before giving your man head:
Hand Massage – This one is probably the easiest to get right. While you are kissing him or just talking to him or while you’re just physically close to him, put your hand on his crotch. So your hand should be resting on his briefs or his trousers. To make it smooth, start by first placing your hand on his leg and moving it up from there. Then just softly start massaging his penis and testicles outside of his trousers/briefs.
It’s as simple as softly running your hands over this area, but you can also get a little more aggressive by softly grabbing and squeezing his cock and balls and then releasing the pressure.
After massaging him for a few minutes, help him take off his trousers and briefs.
Then just keep doing what you were doing, running your hands over his manhood. If you like, you can also softly trace your fingers up and down his dick and around his balls. If you want to learn more hand job techniques, then make sure to check out the Hand Job Guide here.
Talking To Him On Your Knees – Another great blow job idea to build up to giving your man head is talking to him while on your knees.
You can start off with something simple like, “So what do you want me to do now, baby?” while holding his penis in your hands…you can be sure that he’s going to ask you to give him a blow job. He might even give you a tip for a great blow job that lets you know how he likes it!
As you become more confident and see his enthusiasm, you can start expanding your dirty talking, by
- Telling him how much you are enjoying giving him oral sex.
- That you can’t wait to taste his cum.
- How giving him a blow job turns you on.
Of course, you can also talk dirty throughout your blow job too. The Dirty Talking Guide will teach everything you need to know about talking dirty.
So Close – Another bj tip you can do to build up to your blow job is to work around his manhood first. So instead of just taking him into your mouth and giving him a blow job, you could:
- Kiss around his crotch and groin.
- Gently massage his balls using your tongue.
- Softly “tickle” his testicles with the tips of your fingers.
- Run your nails over his ass cheeks.
The Kiss Trail – A red hot blow job tip that allows you to move smoothly from kissing your husband to taking him in your mouth is to work slowly down from his lips to his penis by kissing your way down. So you can move from his lips to his neck to his chest to his stomach until you reach his groin area. Of course, this works way better if he is naked.
Along the way, you can pay attention to his most sensitive spots.
Read More: The Most Important Erogenous Zones.
If you want to learn more great foreplay tips, then make sure to check out the Bad Girls Bible Foreplay Guide here.
Should You Start Fast or Slow – It can be incredibly hot to rip your man’s pants off, and immediately take his penis in your mouth, working furiously to bring him to orgasm without much build up at all.
Sometimes we don’t have time for foreplay or may even risk getting caught. That’s one reason why people love quickies!
Read More: Quickies 101
On the other hand, it can also be super satisfying to tease him and slowly work up to your blow job, making your man squirm and beg you to hurry up as you spend minute after minute grazing and barely touching his penis before you finally take him into your mouth.
Both of these build ups can be hugely satisfying to your man, despite being so very different.
The key is applying them correctly to each situation, AND…
Making sure you don’t rely on just one tip for a great blow job.
Of course, you can try out any of the 22 foreplay techniques from this post to keep things varied.
So, the next time you are about to go down on your man, think:
What will he find more satisfying:
- When you use a long, slow, drawn out build up where he is practically begging you to hurry up, or…
- When you don’t have time for a build up, because all you can think of is taking him in your mouth.
Now let’s learn what blow job tips will drive your man wild…
Tips for a Good Blow Job
You’re both ready for the main event, now what do you do? Try these bj tips!
Flick The Frenulum
For many men, the most sensitive spot on their penis is their frenulum. The frenulum is the underside of the tip of their penis, where the glans joins his shaft [6].
An intensely pleasurable blow job tip that you can use on him is to use the tip of your tongue to apply a gentle flicking motion to it. While you are naturally going to stimulate his frenulum while sucking him (learn tips on sucking here and here) or just licking his penis (learn some oral sex licking techniques here), this technique is different as you will be focusing all your stimulation on a very specific point on his penis.
Flicking his frenulum can be the perfect way to start off your blow jobs before taking his entire dick in your mouth. You can flick it up-and-down, side-to-side, in circles, or by doing a combination of all three.
Bear in mind that if your man has been circumcised, there is a chance that his frenulum has been fully or partially removed [7].
Blowing Him
Many women are so anxious at the thought of giving head to their man that they just get straight to it with little or no build up and with no teasing. It’s like they are focused only on making him ejaculate and getting that sperm out of him.
Gently teasing your man and building up the sexual tension, so that he is practically begging you to blow him is vital if you want to take your blow jobs from good to great.
Another great way to amp up the sexual tension and have him squirming in delight is to lick him gently, making sure to use lots of saliva and then blow on the wet patch you’ve created. Blowing on the wet patch creates a cooling sensation that is great for teasing your man and making him moan with pleasure.
More tips on licking him here.
Try doing this for about a minute before you take him into your mouth.
Kiss, Kiss
Another great way to start off your blow job is by kissing his cock all over. Kissing is great if you like taking things slowly and teasing your man.
You can kiss his penis any way you want, but it will be a lot easier when you use your hand to hold it in place while you kiss it. There are multiple different ways to kiss his penis, from giving him small, quick ‘pecks,’ to giving him longer, more intense kisses. He’ll especially love it if you give him extra wet, sloppy kisses. Don’t be surprised if you can see precum or semen dripping from his cock at this stage.
You can also use this precum to wet your lips.
Kissing him is a fabulous way to pull back if you feel him getting close to climaxing and want him to wait a little longer before reaching orgasm. It will also give your jaw a rest if you find it getting tired from having him in your mouth.
The Thing With Teeth
You already know how sensitive your boyfriend’s penis is, especially the underside of the head [8]. For pleasuring it, this is obviously a good thing…but if you apply too much pressure, or you are too rough with it, then you’re going to hurt your man. It’s the same for your clit and vagina if you are masturbating, or your man is going down on you. Learn some orgasmic masturbation techniques from Chapter 2 of our Orgasm Guide.
Just imagine how sore it would be if your boyfriend had nails that were constantly catching on you…or worse, can you imagine how painful it would be if he started using his teeth on you as he was licking you out and performing cunnilingus. It would be agony!
The only mandatory blow job tip when giving your man oral sex is that you absolutely must not use your teeth on him. It can completely ruin an otherwise fantastic BJ.
But what if he is particularly well endowed…or you have a small mouth?
In situations like this, it can be almost impossible to avoid using your teeth during a blowjob. The first thing you can do is to wrap your lips around your teeth so that your lips act as a soft barrier. The second thing is focusing on techniques where you don’t take him into your mouth like these ones or by giving him a handjob (learn everything you need to know about hand jobs in this guide).
Side note: There is a small percentage of men that enjoy it when you use your teeth and apply a tiny bit of pressure on his penis, using an almost featherlight touch on him. My advice is never to try this UNTIL your man mentions it himself.
Related: Why 92.6% Of Women Like Giving Blow Jobs [1,114 Woman Study]
Which Blow Job Position Is Best?
The position you use to give your man a blow job can be incredibly important…or not at all.
Here’s what I mean:
Submissive Positions – If you want to act submissive for your man when you blow him, then getting down on your knees or been pushed down by him, while he remains standing can feel quite submissive while your man feels dominant.
Looking up and making eye contact with him during your your blow job while on your knees can intensify this feeling of submission.
Having your hands cuffed behind your back, giving your man more control over you, can ramp this submissive feeling up to the max.
Dominant Positions – Of course, you could push your man down on the bed, so that he’s lying down on his back. Then you straddle his head/shoulders and slowly lower yourself onto his mouth, commanding him to, “Lick It!” Finally, you lean forward to return the favor and start giving him a blow job in the 69 position.
To intensify this feeling, you can reach behind to his head, grab his hair, and pull him in towards your pussy.
Or you could tie his arms to the bed.
Exotic Positions – Alternatively, to spice up oral sex, you could just use a position that you’ve never used before.
The point that I’m trying to make is that the position you give your man a blow job in can add a lot to his pleasure (and yours too!).
The position you use becomes increasingly important if your man is someone who gets turned on visually…and as you already know, a lot of guys are visual animals.
Speaking of being visual…
Mirrors – Another great way to add to your man’s visual experience is to use a mirror.
There’s no need to install a custom ceiling mirror above your bed, but…
Think about giving him a blow job in front of a regular wall mirror or even in front of a large window or glass shower door where he can see your reflection.
Get more ideas from this list of oral sex positions.
My Most Vital Blow Job Trick
In Chapter 1, I talked about the importance of feeling comfortable when going down on your man if YOU want to enjoy yourself.
This next blow job trick is an extension of that principle. You see..
According to one study, the average erect penis size is around 5 inches (12.9cm) long [9] while another study finds the average erect penile length closer to 5.6 inches (14.15cm) [10], and previous studies pegged erect penis length over 6 inches [11] (this might surprise many men; up to 85% of them overestimate average penis size [12]).
Now…
The depth of the mouth from lips to the throat can vary with the size and shape of your jaw. Some estimates put it around 3 or 4 inches in depth. You can figure yours out by using a dildo and seeing how far you can insert it!
Doing the math…
This means that if you take your man into your mouth, down to the base of his penis, then he’s going to hit back of your throat and trigger your gag reflex. This isn’t a problem if you don’t have a gag reflex, but most of us have a super-sensitive one. Get tips on how to eliminate your gag reflex in the Guide on how to deep throat without gagging.
Magic Hand Trick – The trick you need to use to prevent him from triggering your gag reflex is to START your blow job by placing a hand by the base of his penis, so you can control how deep you take him.
If he is particularly well endowed, then you can wrap a few fingers around the base so that you can only take a small section of his penis into your mouth; otherwise, you can just place your hand near the base of his penis or even on his thigh.
This immediately means you can forget about gagging and can instead focus on giving him more pleasure.
Giving Feedback With A Dick In Your Mouth
As I mentioned before, most guys are visually turned on, but what you may not know is that they adore hearing your blow job too.
How can he hear your blow job?
Through your licking, slurping, kissing, breathing and moaning
I’m not talking about making loud, fake sounds as you take his penis in and out of your mouth.
What I’m saying is that most guys love hearing the sounds you naturally make during your blow job. In fact, the noises women make can help their partners orgasm [13].
So if you happen to make a lot of noise slurping on his penis and gasping for breath after deep throating him, don’t think for a minute that it’s turning your man off. Men love this.
And…
If you are enjoying yourself during the blow job, feel free to moan your pleasure, even with him in your mouth.
Podcast: 14 Advanced BJ Techniques
I recently recorded this podcast to teach you the most advanced & pleasurable blow job techniques you can use on your man to give him an orgasm so intense that he may fall into a “sex coma.” I cover everything from BDSM to finishing him off the right way.
Listen to more Bad Girls Bible podcast episodes here.
The Initiation
Who usually initiates things sexually? You or your man?
Think about this for a minute.
If both of you prefer when the same partner initiates every time, then great!
However, most guys prefer when there is a bit of variation…Sometimes he is the initiator, and sometimes you are the person initiating things.
Try to be mindful of this in your relationship, as it can be really hot for your man when you wake him up to a surprise, morning blow job (or you may prefer morning sex, instead).
Equally, it can be intense when he grabs you, pushes you down to your knees, and unzips his pants.
In short, sometimes let him start things off; other times, you should be the one who initiates things.
The same goes for other sexual activities. Discover 9 ways to initiate sex.
The Don’ts Of Good Blow Jobs
I hope that from reading this chapter of the Blow Job Guide (click here for the other chapters of the Blow Job Guide) that you see just how easy it can be to give your man a great blow job. There are a vast number of different blow job tips you can use to give him intense pleasure.
But before you go out and start using these blow job tips, there are a few vital aspects of blow jobs that you should know to ensure that you don’t do anything that will hinder your oral sex skills or lessen the pleasure you give your man…
Teeth – I’ve already mentioned the problem with accidentally using your teeth earlier in this article. Please refer to this section to understand the best ways to avoid accidentally using your teeth on him.
Expecting Payback – I mentioned this before in Chapter 1 of the Blow Job Guide, but it’s so important that I’m going to say it again…
In the ideal world, every partner would selflessly provide their loved one with endless pleasure, never asking for anything in return. Of course, this is a little unrealistic and unworkable in the real world. However, you should never see love making (or blow jobs!) as something you only do in order to receive an equal amount of pleasure in return.
Sex is not a tit-for-tat exercise.
To Control – Using these bj tips or sex as a weapon and method for controlling your man is a recipe for disaster. If you start withholding sex to try to get your husband to do something, then both of you are going to develop a negative attitude towards all things sex very quickly. Equally, promising to give him a blow job only if he does this or that is going to foster an unhealthy situation for your sex life.
Of course, this advice does not apply to roleplaying scenarios in which you try to “break” your man or get him to give up a secret by teasing and tantalizing him.
Lack Of Variation – An obvious, but often forgotten blow job “don’t” is a lack of variation. Just like performing the same tasks over and over at the office make for a dull, boring workday, this is also the case for your sex life. In fact, studies have shown that while both men and women enjoy new sexual experiences, men have a higher preference for new and exciting sexual stimulation [14], so why not give it to him!
In other words, if you just use the same two techniques on your man every Saturday night, then he’s going to stop looking forward to it. The key is using enough variation in your oral sex repertoire to keep him on his toes. However, too much variation can be a bad thing too…
Too Much Variation! – So you’ve bookmarked the Bad Girls Bible and read it every day to learn new sex positions (check out over 100 different sex positions with illustrations in the Sex Positions Guide here), blow job tips, and how to talk dirty (read the Dirty Talking Guide here). Every day you’re learning more and more sex tips to give him powerful orgasms. You may think that you should try something completely new on him every day while forgetting about the blow job tips that you’ve previously used to pleasure him.
Too much variation is NOT a good strategy if you want to have a fulfilling sex life. It’s like redecorating your house every six months and throwing out all the furniture and decorations that you like, along with the furniture and decorations you don’t like. But why throw out what you do like? Of course, you should keep the stuff you like.
In short, make sure to try new blow job ideas, but don’t forget about the blow job tips that are already working great.
Now that you’ve learned some tips for beginning your blow job, let’s get started on Chapter 3 of the Blow Job Guide, where you’ll learn my secret orgasm-inducing blow job techniques. Or, if you like, you can go back to Chapter 1, which will give you an overview of the entire Blow Job Guide.
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And best of all, you don’t need to do anything weird or uncomfortable to start having the best orgasms and sex of your life.
Sean, my partner and I use condoms. I even use one when giving him a bj. I’ve tried some of the tongue techniques and he doesn’t feel it. What can I do to
Make it feel better for him with a condom?
Hi Ana,
2 things spring to mind:
1) Use more force when using the tongue techniques so that he can really feel it.
2) Both get tested for STI’s. Once you are both clean, then you don’t necessarily need to use condoms while giving him a blowjob anymore.
i have found your information very useful, to be honest i have never actually given head before. i wanted some information to get me started and i think this has been really useful. i have talking to my guy about this for a little while now and this has given me more confidence. enthusiasm is the key! i really want to pleasure him, does it feel any different for the man with or without a condom on? should i be using a condom for my first time? is it better to use the flavored lube or condoms for the first time? should i make any eye contact while giving the blow job or will it make it awkward? i dont fancy the idea of swallowing so do i just tell him that before we get started? your information has been really helpful so far but answering this questions would be fantastic! thanks
Hi Cheyenne,
So guys like condoms, others don’t. It’s a personal preference. I always advise people to use condoms unless they are in a monogamous long term relationship, there is absolutely no point in taking any risks. If you feel like using lube the first time you have sex, then definitely do as it will make everything much easier.
Making eye contact with your man during a blowjob can certainly enhance it, but don’t worry about it too much if it’s your first time.
If you don’t want to swallow, then DON’T. Don’t ever feel like you have to do something that you don’t want to do. You can tell him this before you get started or you can just spit it out afterwards, it’s up to you.
I hope this answers your questions!
Sean
No man likes condoms, a guy using a condom literally removes like 50% of the sensation during sex… and you might as well just not give him oral if you want him to wear a condom, feels like nothing.
Latex isn’t love
So I’m really shy and self conscious when it comes to any kind of sexual activity especially blowjobs. I’m not at all confident in myself. How can I please him but still stay somewhat in my comfort zone?
Small steps. Practice builds competence which builds confidence
Put a little lube inside the condom
My man says teeth will make any man cum! Help I was trained to cover them Technically how do I do this?
Obviously you don’t want to hurt him, so talk to him. Ask him exactly what he wants.
What if before you put the condom on you fill it with lube to replicate a wetter oral session
Lube is always a good idea to increase the fun but make sure it’s compatible with the condom and won’t cause it to disintegrate
When using condoms you can put extra lube on before the condom and hold the base of his penis to keep it in place during the blowjob. I use a tongue swirling action when the condom is on with a little extra force and the feeling is pretty good for my bf. Also a condom gives me less worry about teeth. My bf likes a little teeth, but I always worry about being too rough, especially when I’m really turned on.
Also I like to use condoms because my man doesn’t want to cum in my mouth. He says with a condom he can really let go. Also all those candy flavored condoms are really delightful.
Take it off
I love to suck so much cock. This article helped my blowjobs exceed to another level.
Glad I could help!
why are you giving him a bj with a condom on in the first place. if you are worried about stds then just ask and he should tell u if he’s any decent man lmao.
So if he’s not a decent man just get an std???♀️
Sean I’m so nervous that when I do it to him I won’t be good enough, os I’m studying— do you have any tips on building confidence beforehand?
Honestly, confidence comes with experience, but the funny thing is that even an average blow job can feel incredible for some guys. Try to focus on having fun and not so much of “doing it right.”
Why don’t you try giving him a bj without the condom and if he wants to ejaculate you can let it fill up your mouth and then you can choose what to do with the sperm
Take the condom off , at least for the bj , it’s not working because he CAN’T feel anything
Don’t take the condom off unless you are both sure you’re being safe.
To be completely honest in have never suck a dick before. But im going too. And I need to know how to End it.. Like when im tired or is getting late how do I end it? And also ik you have to use your lips to cover your teeth, but what about you very back teeth? Your blog is soo helpful! Thanks!
Hi Livy,
It’s not a big deal if you have never done it before. There are tons of ways to end it, you can let him finish in your mouth, you can finish by giving him a handjob, you can even finish by letting him cum somewhere on your body. As for covering you back teeth with your lips, this shouldn’t be an issue so don’t worry about it.
Sean
When we are in public I whisper in his ear that I can’t wait to have his chick in my mouth. I remind him all night long. It drives Jim crazy.
Ashli
Thank u u just helped me again
Just remember if you suck his dick…..make an o shape and let the point of his penis rub against your inner cheek but be carefull not the bump your teeth against his penis
Sean, Well, i’ve gave my partner a BJ, and used the tongue techniques, but he says it doesnt feel any better. I wanna do something that will make his toes curl, what do i do? x
Hi Chelsea, why not try some of these blowjob tips or even these ones. If you want my most powerful blow job tips and techniques though, you may be interested in the Blow Job Bible.
Play with his butt
Bound and gagged does it for me while blowjobed by a woman.
Supprised nobody mentioned this. But tease his asshole, and maybe slip a finger in him while sucking his balls .
Learn to curb your gag reflex, shove it all the way down your throat and swallow on the tip. He’ll Moab like a girl.
Moan. Stupid autocorrect actually changed it to a word that doesn’t exist…twice. ?♀️
I don’t know if it will curl his toes, but one thing I haven’t seen mentioned is it to simulate penetration by keeping your lips closed in a rosebud shape and let him penetrate your lips. The moment of penetration is pleasurable for men.
No matter what I try, my two front teeth are just too big! :/ I cant even pull my lips over them! My boyfriend is thick and big so what can I do? He always expects me to DT because I told him about my previous relationship ( smaller and thinner) but I cant seem to make any magic.. Help!
Hi Julie,
Don’t worry if you can’t do absolutely everything with every partner you are with. If you could, you would be some crazy, sex-ninja-goddess! All you need to do is let your man know that his penis is too darn big! He will take it as a massive compliment.
Julie, you can lick his head and massage his balls with your hands. Mix it up by running your tongue along his shaft while rimming his ass with your finger. Be creative, use lots of saliva or lotions.
You may also consider using silicone teeth whitening trays while giving the bj as they will significantly lessen the edge on your teeth. You can have custom ones made by your dentist – for whitening of course – that will stay on well
Wear a mouth guard or clear retainer! It will cover your teeth and make your bj’s amazing.
When he has cumed do stop or keep going utill he tells me to stop? Please! Help!
Hi Chantelle,
Most guys prefer it if you start to really slow down as he is cumming and then stop once he finishes. However many guys love it when their partner goes incredibly slowly and softly for a few minutes after they cum.
Sean
So I did not us use condoms the first more on my man and he is married but he enjoys my bjs cause of your tips and wants me to suck off his friends and I did it ur tips are helpful try thxs
Always use condoms!
Do you have to use them cause I’m allergic to latex and my boyfriend wants me to give him one
Just buy latex free condoms – very very easily available in supermarkets of chemists. I am also allergic
Hi Sean, I was giving my boyfriend a BJ I was trying to take all of him but ended up barfing on him. Help!
In my experience, keep a trashcan nearby. Once the food is up and gone, you will have a very thick slimy saliva. He will love this aspect of your gagging if he likes dirty deepthroating like my fiance does.
Keep up the good work. Until you get better you may want to eat a few hours before performing felatio 🙂
Hope this Helps
A blow job tickles like mad i have to tied up and gagged when my lady gives me a blowjob.
Hi Sean,
Thank You so much for showing me how to give my man the best blow job.. You where so right about it being on his mind all day so am going to buy your book this week are sex life has gotten a lot better…
Thanx and we are happy .
Hi Sean Jameson giving my first blowjob how to suck his balls or should I just play with them
You can try both. Gently fondle them with your fingers or you can try softly massage them with your lips and tongue.
Sean
Thanks Sean I did try both and he loved it I must admit I really liked giving a blowjob can’t wait to do it more and use all your different postions!
Thanks he really was shocked but loved his balls getting sucked as I gave him a blowjob and is it crazy that I really liked giving him a blowjob
It’s perfectly normal for you to enjoy giving him a blow job, hope you had fun!
Sean
Hiya,
My bf and I decided to take things a LOT slower after a little rift in our relationship because I felt a little pressured. Things are a lot better now but he’s gone from ravenous to overly cautious. Foreplay right now is good because we’re on a different level with each other now but I imagine this new excitement will not last long enough and it’ll become boring. What could we do without getting down on eachother?
Thanks
Sounds like this is more of a communication problem than a straightforward sex problem.
Hi Sean,
I’m not really a head giver and but it’s only because I don’t really have any confidence in doing it. Now yesterday I came across your website on facebook and click on it. Once I read the tips that you have posted, I took heed to them. Now be and my bf have been together for 8yrs and when I give him a BJ it’s usually no longer than 5mins. but today I tried some things you’ve posted and he actually admitted to it that it was the best BJ that I have ever done and that it was the first time that I made his eye actually role to the back of his head. When he told me this it made me feel so good and happy inside like I actually knew what I was doing. His actual was were “Damn babe I didn’t know you had it in you like that, it actually felt like I was cumming but I knew I wasn’t.” My thing is what are other things that I can do to keep him like this in this shocking stage? I like to keep him guessing and always want to try new things when giving him a BJ just without him knowing what I’m going to do next. All I really want is to make him cum with just a BJ but he takes longer with those then him being inside of me, what are the key things that I need to do to put him on his a** to the point that he can’t believe what I just did to him. PLEASE HELP ME……BECOME A PRO
Glad you both enjoyed my tips!
A treat you’ll love to eat!
Put a couple-three marshmallow peeps in the microwave for a couple of seconds. (just until puffed up…NOT HOT). Apply generously to penis. Now go enjoy your candy coated penis.
DO A TEST RUN FIRST, ALL MICROWAVES ARE DIFFERENT. MARSHMALLOW TEMPERATURE SHOULD BE LIKE A BABY BOTTLE. DO NOT APPLY MARSHMALLOWS TO HIS PENIS IF IT WILL HURT/BURN/SCALD HIM.
Hey 🙂
I really enjoyed your advice!
But sometimes when I give my boyfriend a handjob he doesn’t enjoy it as much.. Is it because he is so used to himself materbating? Lol
Or just personal taste?
I’m not so sure he only likes it in some postioning of the penis itself, but not all the time!! I use a lot of spit so it isn’t like sandpaper (haha). Ahh I don’t know what to do to improve it!!
Anyways thanks
“sometimes when I give my boyfriend a handjob he doesn’t enjoy it as much.. Is it because he is so used to himself masturbating?”
This is the problem exactly. The problem is that your man has become the world’s greatest person at giving himself a handjob. He knows exactly what he wants and when he wants it. So don’t ever worry if it’s not ‘perfect’. You can learn more about giving him a great handjob here.
My husband nn I are freaks we’re newly weds so figures right!! Nn I’m pretty good at head :)) but tonight I totally kissed it like told nn after he was like ” you never did it like that before !!! You never kissed it that was amazing!” Lol so it’s amazing what tiny things can really make a mind blowing bj!!! Thank you!!! Keep up the good tips! Lol with this blog I’ll go from pretty good to awesome in no time!! :))))))
Before reading your techniques I hardly ever gave blow jobs and never enjoyed giving them. After reading your tips I get nothing but compliments from my guy and I really enjoy it now. Thank you so much!!
I love giving my man a bj he calls his penis my pacifier and my boobs his pacifier but wat does all this mean
Ask a dictionary
Maybe I shouldn’t “expect payback”, but partners are pretty shit if it’s incredibly imbalanced.
I’m sorry but every blowjob advice is so selfish like this. Of course I like giving my boyfriend a blowjob, but I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect him to do something for me. Maybe not right that second, and you don’t need to necessarily create a “tally sheet” but absolutely relationships are give and take, so IMO, you’re wrong on that.
I couldn’t agree more. I created the Bad Girls Bible as a guide for women who want to please their man, but great relationships are based on mutual satisfaction. I will be shortly adding a “guys” section so that he can learn some tips to please you with too.
my gu has phimosis. he enjoys hand jobs and although sex can sometimes be painful, he still enjoys it. however, he doesn’t seem to enjoy blowjobs, regardless of how much I try or the tips I follow. it’s causin me to lose my self confidence, and I really want to pleasure gim in that way.
The truth is that not every guy loves blow jobs. Every guy is different, so try to not allow this to affect your self-confidence as it’s actually pretty normal.
What if he had never got off by bj? What do I do??? HELP
It’s most likely an issue of his, not yours. It’s not a biggie, just like some women who can’t get off from oral sex. There are lots of other kinky sex ideas you can try with your man to keep things hot and spicy.
This gave me lots of insight for new techniques which is exciting and got me hot sauce bothered learning them I can’t to try some of these and see which ones really make my husband tic thank you so much
This gave me lots of insight for new techniques which is exciting and got me hot and bothered learning them I can’t to try some of these and see which ones really make my husband tic thank you so much
I have no idea really how to be sexy. I have no imagination when it comes to sex. My husband is a freak and wants to do new things. Things I don’t really care to do but I do them because he likes it. Tried the three some thing. Hated it refuse to do it again. Just the thought of him with another woman irritates me. I’m simple. My wants and desires are simple. I just want to be wanted. Is there something wrong with me if I have no desire to not explore new things ? How do I get out of that feeling? He expects me to come up with new things and I truly don’t know what else to do. Right now we are exploring dildos and strap ons. This also made me read about blow jobs. I’m not very good at it and he’s made that clear. I gag if it goes too deep I gag if there’s just a hint of cum. He asks me if I like certain things I say yes because I know it turns him on when I really don’t like it. Any advice for the non sexual person?
What do you like? Focus on what he does that does turn you on! ❤️
i sip on a hot cup of coffee when i suck my lover rexs cock and balls slowly licking kissing it drives him wild i suck the head tounge the hole i love feeling his cock grow hard in my mouth, tasting him , and starts throbbing which gets me off and when he explodes i love his cum on my face,tittys he taste so good i massage his cum all over my face,tits with his cock,then he blows me i cum fast he turns me on .i sleep with his dick in my mouth nothing better than swallowing hot cum for breakfast,wake up call people.
I love giving my boyfriend blow jobs and telling him how much I love it. I do it all the time for no reason in the car when he picks me up from work or by waking him up to be intimate. He loves it.. I probably do it 3 times a week or so. BECAUSE I WANT TO!!! It helps when you want to see your boyfriend go crazy and orgasm and just lose his mind over you. It’s healthy and important for your sex life. It turns me on to turn him on. I never knew the under the tip was so sensitive I lick that a lot when going down on him but i never knew that it felt so good, I’m gonna keep doing it. I learned a few new tricks, this was useful.
What if your mouth is so small that you literally can’t even get the tip of his penis in without scraping it with your teeth? I mean, I can’t even eat with tablespoons it’s so small. Adult dentists won’t work on my mouth because it’s so small.
My advice is to try something else besides a blow job.
Hey Sean, so I just met this guy about a couple weeks ago. But instead of taking things slow like we had planned, we can’t help already wanting to take the next step in our relationship. I’ve never had sex before, and I want to impress him and keep him interested in me, having it be my first time. Can you please help give me some tips on my first time of having sex to keep him interested in me. Please!
These tips on losing your virginity should help 😉
Hi , everytime me and my boyfriend have sex I can’t ride him I have curves however I am not a big girl and I still get tired , breathing hard from riding him and most times I don’t know what I’m doing so it just falls out every bounce what should I do to satisfy my man instead of him always doing all the work
Just try going slower and/or changing the angle. So, instead of bouncing up and down, try grinding on him or moving forwards and backwards.
As someone who was sexually abused throughout most of my childhood, I’ve been reluctant to give head because of the flashbacks. I’ve been reading your blog for a few days now, and I feel confident in knowing more techniques to try out on my partner that are 100% different from all that bad stuff. In the twelve years since I’ve escaped, I’ve never felt so confident to try this out with my partner, so THANK YOU! I’m sure he will enjoy it too!
Hi Sean so my boyfriend wants me to go deeper when I give him a bj the problem is that my gag reflex is terrible what do I do?
The guide on deep throating without gagging should help.
Hi Sean,
I got to your post looking for an answer to my problems. I have this boyfriend and I can’t make him cum with handjobs and blowjobs (that had never happened to me with my exes)
I’m starting to think I’ve lost my touch 🙁
I think some guys are like that. My bf is. I wonder if there’s a way to make them cum from oral sex.
What if I dont like ro do it
Then don’t do it. You should never feel coerced or forced into doing anything you do not want to do.
Hi Sean,
My new partner is small. Do you want tips to cause friction when working with a small penis?
Check out the small penis sex guide.
My man gets hard and cum when he looks at my pictures that I’ve text him and the same with the ones I have of him. Can’t wait to try the whipcream on us.WOW. ..YUM YUM
My fiance has never gotten off from just a blow job alone. He always has to help me out while I’m performing fellatio, and he normally needs sex to be somewhat fast and hard to finish. I’ve been told in previous relationships that I’m very good at what I do, but I want to do something for him that he’s never had. Any tips would be greatly appreciated. I utilize all of the aforementioned tips you’ve posted. Thanks!
Check out the kinky sex ideas guide for inspiration 😉
That is definitely not an issue for me. My wife, like you said about yourself, is quite highly skilled with the blowjob (has been since day 1 with her, which of course means she had lots of practice before me….). A few things she does that really make a difference:
1) Looks me in the eyes.
2) Licks my pre-cum.
3) Uses her thumb and index finger.
4) Takes me deep. She doesn’t deep throat but can come close to it.
5) Masturbates while pleasuring me. I will sometimes take my cock out of her mouth and masturbate for a few seconds, which she loves. We love masturbating together.
6) Begs for my cum. Yep, that’s hot as hell.
7) Let’s me cum how ever I want–in her mouth, on her tongue, on her face, etc.
8) Enjoys every drop of my cum. She doesn’t run for the bathroom; she lets me know she loves every drop. I am sure it’s disgusting tasting to her but she doesn’t show it.
With all of that, she can always bring me to ejaculation in at least 15 minutes.
I have never gives head to someone before. Before my current boyfriend and I had never had sex, so I am pretty uninformed on this field! I haven’t seen my man in a couple of weeks and I am on my period so we can’t have sex and I’d like to give him a bj, but I don’t know where to start and what to do. I am just so scared that I’ll be bad, pls help
Totally normal to feel a little nervous Vittoria, but…he will probably be nervous too about getting it up, lasting long enough, etc. So most likely he will be to focused on his own anxieties to be worried about your performance. Have fun!
I cant seem to make him cum in my mouth. I gave him countless amounts of head but he still doesnt seem to really enjoy it as much as he says he does. I dont know what to do, I kiss down his body while touching him and dont use teeth. I even talk dirty to him but I just cant seem to get any. It makes me feel like im bad at giving head but I just want to pleaser him.. please help
Get him to stop masturbating for a few months. It will make his penis super sensitive.
my bf said he want something different, I do give him bj but insisting he want something different. tho he said he doesn’t want an actual sex that he want another style of oral sex that will make him cum fast… so Pls can u help me out I don’t know any styles of oral sex.
Have you read the entire Blow Job Guide yet?
Hey Ladies, some men don’t come from oral, it depends how sensitive there penis is, mine is super sensitive so i can cum from the air touching it lol, but in a relationship your man should be happy with the effort you are making, I am not sure if the sensitive part is to do with cut or uncut, I am uncut and am over sensitive so discuss it with your man, men produce the semen in their balls and they are very sensitive, if you play with your mans balls, then they should feel it, men do not want a blow job like you see on the porn films, we do not want to see our girlfriends struggling and gagging with tears in their eyes vomiting, it is not sexy, women do what they want in the bedroom, if you are not comfortable doing fellatio then discuss that with your partner, ok all the newbies here ice chew on something hot or have something cold in your mouth before going down on your man, they will love it, the change in temperature gets guys hot, some guys like a finger in the butt, no that does not make your man gay if you both consent there is no problem this will let you touch his prostate, he will shoot like never before some guys are not cool with there butts being touched so discuss this with your partner first, the tips on this website are really cool and i find them to be very helpful for techniques, the idea behind the foreplay is it is supposed to be nice for both of you so make sure it is nice for both.
Hi Sean,
First off – thank you so much for your blowjob tips! I read the whole series about a year ago when I first started seeing a chap, having never given a blowjob before – he’d asked for one and I was terrified of getting it wrong. They now feature very highly on my list of favourite things to do in the bedroom (or the living room… the kitchen… the car…) and are his top request.
But they’re a bit short-lived, and he’s challenged me to see if I can make them last longer (i.e. make him last longer), and I for real have no idea what I should be doing more or less of. Teasing? Foreplay? Hand action (I still have no idea what I’m doing with my hands)? Any pointers would be very gratefully received!
He should also be working to last longer…it’s not all on you! This guide on lasting longer should help.
What if you have trouble finishing? Blowjobs feel great, almost better then sex but no matter what i cant seem to climax. I think ive been close a time or two but im not sure, the sensation feels different then it does with a handjob or sex. One thing i wanted to add about the foreplay in regards to the massage, it is really unpleasant if she rubs to the point that your glans feel dry. Cotton boxers feel almost like sandpaper at that point
Hi, my I have a problem. I can’t finish my BF, I try on him different things and positions around 2 hours and he doesn’t finish . I get tired and just leave it. I don’t know what to do . How to finish him , please help me. I did 1 hour BJ play with his balls use my tongue . Doing sex in different position after again BJ . Please help me .
Get him to stop masturbating for a few weeks to a month. This will make him much more sensitive and more likely to orgasm from oral/sex
Hello Sean. In some few days time I’d be giving my man a blowjob. I’m kind of freaking out here. This is going to be my first time. I’m inexperienced too. I read your tips but I’m gradually getting confused. I think I’m kind of nervous too. You spoke about eye contact? I’m very very shy. How do I look at him then? I got the first part though. Where I either move from his legs or lips down to his manhood. Then I’d need to tease him for him to crave more. I didn’t get the other parts. And I didn’t get the part that you were giving tips on how to take the sexy selfies. Can you please take me through the steps of bj?
For eye contact…here’s the golden rule…Do what feels comfortable for both of you. If prolonged eye contact feels good, then go for that. If no eye contact feels good, then that’s great too.
Hi. A little over two months ago I discovered that my husband of over forty years has been having an affair with a fake friend of ours for a couple of years. He initially tried to convince me that it was just “sexting” but after six long weeks of beating around the bush finally admitted that they were having oral sex. I find it hard to believe that that is all that happened, however, I’ve dropped the probing. It’s too painful for both of us. Due to childhood sexual abuse I have long suffered from hang ups. Notably swollowing during oral sex and anal sex has been a no go zone for me. But since the revelations that have arisen a switch has been turned on inside me and I really want to do anything and everything thing with him now. His relationship with this other woman is completely over and I am all he wants now. Oral sex between us is regular but he has only been able to blow once. And his screams of ecstasy at the time was such a turn on for me that I want to experience it again but he just can’t seem to do it. I’ve tried every technique possible, different times of the day, buying lots of sexy lingerie that get him really turned on, I’ve even bought some bondage gear that gets him going as well. He can’t wait to come home. Even Viagra is not helping. If this woman’s name is mentioned he literally cringes with disgust. I’m concerned that he is struggling with guilt and this is screwing with our sex life. He has always asked me for anal sex and now that I’m willing to try he keeps coming up with excuses not to. I’ve even bought condoms to use for that thinking he may be concerned about the faeces. I’m at my wits end with how to get us over this hurdle. He won’t see a therapist as he says he is too embarrassed to talk to a stranger about what has happened and how we can move on together. Any ideas?
Julie, this sounds really tough, I’m so sorry to hear about your story. I’d love to give you the “perfect answer”, but it’s hard without knowing your relationship as well as you do. My advice is to keep talking to your man.
Interesting how you’ve managed to make abuse about swallowing and anal were you forced to ingest semen in both ends by a relative for some reason? Ok no just he’s not into girls if he wants oral and anal. He’s ashamed of his sexuality and that he cheated on you with man. Unless he’s on medications that impare orgasms then yes it’s you and either force counseling or let him be gay.
wtf dude NO NO no way. Get the hell out of here with all that.
-A friend
Thanks for the tips. I love sucking my man’s d*ck he deserves all the pleasure in the world.
I’ve read your blowjob guide more than ten times and I know it like the back of my hand, lol. Every single guy I used your tips were literally begging for more. Got me feeling like a pro.?? thank you so much for putting this up.
Thank you!!!!
Can one get STDs by sucking him without a condom..How safe is it.
Yes, it is possible. Condoms make it less likely
Once you start don’t stop, minimal hand, learn from his moans, and when he finishes keep going for another 30 seconds or minute, but go very softly and slowly at the end
I am so glad that I found this site! I read it over and over on how to give oral. I have never done it before and knew that he wanted me to. He’s the first guy I have ever wanted to actually do it. I used a few of the tips that I read here and it worked so well. He really enjoyed himself and I enjoyed doing it way more than I ever thought I would.
2 people enjoying themselves is what the Bad Girls Bible is all about 🙂
Another great tip to help you to go down on your man in the best way possible to use your hands as well. Even though your mouth is what really gets him going, you can never do too much. Using your hands to stroke the shaft and to stimulate his testicles will drive him wild and this contributes to the strength of his orgasm. This will easily paralyze him with pleasure and really get him going in bed.
I read it over and over on how to give oral. I have never done it before and knew that he wanted me to. He’s the first guy I have ever wanted to actually do it. I used a few of the tips that I read here and it worked so well. He really enjoyed himself .
Hi sean,
I have been married for 2yrs now and I don’t know the last time I gave my husband a bj. I have a past of abuse that already makes it uncomfortable for me, on top of that my gusband was having a problem for a while with keeping an erection. I was very patient and unferstanding but he got so embarrassed we just wouldnt have sex at all. Now when we try it feels so awkward. During that time i tried to help by stimulating him orally and it didnt work. I knew he felt embarrassed so I made sure not to make it worse but i felt embarrassed also and havent been able to being myself to do it since. It was already hard for me because of my past and this caused me to feel inadequate and just think im not good at it/not attractive. I don’t know how to overcome the awkward feeling and get our sex life back/work up my confidence to give bjs again. Hes very understanding and insists he doesnt want me doing anything im uncomfortable with. I just want to do this for him. Help.
I’m 20 and have a boyfriend, he’s been my first everything, and now I want to give him BJ that will blow his mind but am so nervous, u have great tips. But I don’t want to mess up or hurt him
A little help please and thank u
Start slow and see what he enjoys. He is most likely just as nervous.
When your husband gets off a couple times a day already, I am not sure if this may be why it takes so long on a blowjob to get him off, if I can even get him there. Is there something I can do to please him to get off here.
Hi Sean,
My finance and I have been together for a year and a half now. The first couple of times she gave me a BJ was without a condom, it felt so much better. But after the first few times, she was getting worried she would get pregnant because I would touch pussy during or after and would possibly have cum on me. However, I was careful to go wash my hands if that was the case. But she still prefers I use condom. And of course it’s a given if a girl is stressed or worried about something she won’t enjoy me touching her either.
Another concern is I am never able to cum while she gives me a BJ but its because we both are inexperienced, it would be very slow and she wouldn’t know how to use her hand while using her mouth together and on top of that the condom doesn’t help. At the beginning she was also using teeth but I told her that is something I don’t like (it hurts quite a bit). Any advice you can give me as BJ is the best I can get right now since she doesn’t want to have sex till after marriage.
I am constantly looking at ways on how I can pleasure her better, but how do I tell her to do the same? I don’t want her to think that she is not good enough or something, like even if I could share this article with her it would be a great help. Any advice?
Check out the Bad Boys Bible and maybe let her know that the site also has tips for women too 😉
I’ve been seeing someone for a bit, and the sex is great, but I didn’t feel quite comfortable enough in my BJ skills. I read this thoroughly, listened to the podcast, and really did the research on how to improve for him, and BOY did it work 😂. You are right- enthusiasm is 100% the key, mixed in with taking it slower at first and doing a few things really well. Thanks for the awesome advice; it felt really great to know he really enjoyed it!!
Hey Sean my bf is very inexperienced in this field so when he decided to let me give him a BJ, I thought he was finally ready. But it turns out, he was actually not.
Every single movement that I made made him nervous, it was cute and all at first but later it made me realize that my bf may have not enough confidence for this kind of stuff or maybe I was just trying too fast, which ended our trial awkwardly. It hurts me to see him denying my advances or when something akin to regret looms on his face.
I want to give my bf a BJ or a move that would make him trust or a bit confident on both of us. Do you perhaps have any tips or advices on that? Unlike my bf, I’ve already got the experiences even if it’s just a few, just not on typically shy guys like him.
Honestly, just talk to him and see if he can just tell you what he likes and wants
Hi ! I have a small issue that my boyfriend has low sensitivity in the tip of his penis because of a surgery he had to have when he was a boy. I used to think I was pretty good at blow jobs but now I have almost no reaction from him when I go down on him. It’s making me loose all confidence and not want to give him a bj because I feel like I might not be good at it after all. He also always makes sure I cum which has until now never happened to me with any sexual partners I have had in the past so I really want to do this for him. I read the blog but I’m not sure the tips will help. Do you have some advice ?
My best advice is that he should talk to his doctor if he’s worried. Also, if he refrains from masturbating for a few weeks (and even months) he will become a lot more sensitive.
I’ve been giving blowjobs for over 50 years. I didn’t have any idea what to do so for 46 years, I gave “okay” blowjobs. I hooked up with a guy after being married for over 40 years. Fortunately I read your Blow Job Bible before I sucked him. The second time we were together, I pushed him down and told him that it was time for his Birthday BlowJob. Must have been good.
I’m now with someone that had heard me talk about b.j.’s and the first time we were together, I finished him off with a blow job. He absolutely is hooked on me. I feel like a black widow spider when he comes over, “Come in to my web, young man.” I think that I’m the best he’s had when it comes to sucking his cock. I squirt repeatedly when I’m blowing him. I just get so fucking excited! I get creamy just thinking about it! Thanks, Sean!!!!
Can you modify this so that only my first name shows?
Hi, I’ve never given a bj before since I have no idea what to do, or how to do it. These tips are definitely useful but I don’t know how to get over my awkwardness during sex. Do you have any tips on how to be more confident in this aspect? And any extra bj tips for a beginner. Thanks in advance
Check out our guide to reducing sexual anxiety.
I’ve never orgasmed before.
Help me
I read your blow job tips several times. I will try to make my bj more spicy with my man bcoz he wants little xtra.
I am so lucky to have met my husband, my soulmate. We do this often and what he feels I feel. We enjoy it all the time. He does stuff to me too while I do it to him and when he moans tied up it drives me crazy. I drink him up all the time – I am totally in his mind and he does hurt me sometimes but never devastates me. We are two sides of the same coin.
Hi. I need advice i have a seven inch penis is this a perfect size for a woman who enjoys giving a man blowjob. Ian
Sean,
I have an issue. I love sucking my man’s dick but I have had bad experiences in the past with cum in my mouth. I have been forced to do it and have thrown up every time. With the guy I am seeing now I want to swallow for him badly but am scared I will throw up. Any advice?
Don’t ever feel like you “have” to do anything. Perhaps talking to him and letting him know how you feel can help here.
Thank you for your blogs. I have come into my womenhood recently, I have used your blow job blogs to learn some skills as I never had confidence to attempt giving a BJ before. I recently gave my man a BJ (not to orgasm) and he was shocked it was my first. I wanted to learn how to get him to cum only with a blow job, so I will take these tips and see how I go.
My boyfriend has only been given a BJ a few times in his life. Like 3 or 4 times. Keep in mind he is 53. His tip is actually, what I would call over sensitive. If there is too much contact there, game over. Any suggestions on helping him get used to a BJ? Other than frequency. When he finally came for the first time he said, now I understand why it is liked so much. He still is anxious about it though. He does want to receive more but still struggles. Suggestions?
I came across your podcast about 6 months ago, and have been listening to the back catalog and trying the techniques. I’m wondering about the quote below:
“…you should never see love making (or blow jobs!) as something you only do in order to receive an equal amount of pleasure in return. Sex is not a tit-for-tat exercise.”
As I said, I’ve been doing the techniques for about 6 months, and have been following the advice in the quote above. Nothing has been reciprocated. About a month ago, when we were being intimate, my husband asked me what I wanted him to do. I said oral. He said he didn’t want to do it, and when I asked why, he wouldn’t give me a reason. I’ve asked twice now. Again…no reason given. How long am I supposed to continue to give pleasure, to not see oral as tit-for-tat, and not expect it in return? I get what you’re saying, but it’s really starting to make me feel used, especially since I don’t particularly enjoy giving oral. (He hasn’t been asking me for oral, but I’ve been giving it per your guides, and he does enjoy it.)
I’m sorry to hear about your situation. Of course there should be some reciprocation! When I said that sex shouldn’t be “tit-for-tat” I meant that you shouldn’t be keeping a logbook or have the expectation that your partner immediately “returns the favor”.
It sounds like having a talk/discussion with your partner may help here.