This discreet newsletter will teach you how to give him freaky oral sex & make him scream your name in bed. Click here to get it.
Should you even bother learning all the sex tips here on the Bad Girls Bible if you don’t even know how to make your man cum fast and powerfully? I think we both know the answer to this question…So today, I’m going to show you exactly how to make your man cum hard every time in just 5 minutes by showing you:
- The SINGLE-most-important thing you need to do to your man.
- How to make him cum harder than any other girl.
- Why a build up is crucial to him cumming hard and having a super-satisfying orgasm.
Learning how to make a guy cum is actually really easy. Everything you need, you’ll find throughout The Bad Girls Bible. I will teach you everything you need to know when it comes to pleasing your man and making him cum really strongly. Whether you want to learn how to give a killer blowjob or how to talk dirty or learn some good sex positions, it’s all here. This article is going to show you some of the best strategies that you must use if you are truly serious about giving your man a powerful orgasm and making him cum really hard.
Do you currently struggle to orgasm during sex or masturbation? If you do, then you may want to learn about the Easy Orgasm Solution. It will teach you how to have multiple vaginal and full body orgasms during sex and masturbation. It works even if you currently struggle to orgasm during sex or when masturbating. You can find out more here.
1. It’s All About Enthusiasm
It seems that a lot of students of the Bad Girls Bible I talk to don’t understand or ‘get’ this until I explain it to them…
A major component of turning your man is satisfying his ego (not just his penis). When you are enthusiastic about sex, it’s a powerful subconscious signal to your man that you are attracted to him and turned on by being with him. This is massively satisfying for his ego, which turns men on in an incredibly powerful way.
When you are not very responsive and involved during sex, you are doing the opposite. You are sending your man a subconscious signal that you are not that turned on by him and not that attracted to him. As a result, you are saying to his ego that you don’t think much of him. This is exactly what you shouldn’t do if you want to turn him on and make him cum hard.
During sex, I call this problem Starfish Syndrome. It’s as if you are a starfish, just lying there with your legs, arms and head pretty much motionless. It’s the one thing that is a major turn off to almost all guys.
While I don’t really recommend learning sex techniques and maneuvers from watching pornography, one thing that you will notice from watching porn is that all the female pornstars are very enthusiastic and active in every scene.
Related: If you want to give your man back-arching, toe-curling, screaming orgasms that will keep him sexually addicted to you, then you'll find them in my private and discreet newsletter. You'll also learn the 5 dangerous & "dumb" sex mistakes that turn him off and how to avoid them. Get it here.
Because it turns men on and ultimately makes them cum a lot of harder.
Part of enthusiasm might be taking the reigns or taking the lead in bed, although this can make some women self-conscious. Thankfully, you can read our advice for being confident when you’re on top and in control that should help you to be less self-conscious.
Find Out What He Likes
Everyone has a fantasy or specific sex technique or position that turns them on much more than regular sex. You need to find out what your man’s fantasies are. This is going to make him orgasm and cum much harder than when you are doing plain old missionary position with him.
Related: The 10 Most Common Sexual Fantasies You Gotta Try
It could be something really normal like you dressing up and roleplaying some scenario, or it could be a bit more ‘out there.’ Dirty talk ranks highly as something that sets many people over the edge, and you might like it, too. Get inspired to talk dirty.
He might have difficulty telling you what he wants or needs to cum, perhaps because of guilt or a specific fetish that makes him feel shame.
It’s absolutely vital that you keep an open mind and are not judgemental when discussing it with your man along with being excited to try something new with him. Because talking about sex can be difficult, we have a guide to sexual communication. Check out the sexual communication guide.
2. The Build Up
Sometimes a quickie feels great (find out more about quickies). But if you want your man to have an orgasm so hard that he shoots his load across the room, then you need to slowly build up to it. Building up slowly to orgasm can start many hours before you even see him. Try sending him a few dirty texts before you see him to build the sexual tension (learn more about sexual tension) and titillate him with things to come. If you are both out together in public or at a party, turn up the sexual tension by saying something like:
I can’t wait till we’re alone, I’ve got a sexy surprise for you!
If we weren’t in a public place right now, I would fuck your brains out!
It’s up to you how sexual you want to be.
When you say something like this, it will turn your man on a lot because of your intentions. But as you can’t actually do anything about it (as there are other people around), it builds sexual tension also. So when you do eventually get alone with your man, he will literally want to rip your clothes off.
Did you know that many of our readers told us that sexting is a surefire way to get horny? Discover 11 ways to make yourself horny now.
When you are both alone together, you have to keep taking things really slowly. Start by kissing him passionately and then move on to very slowly giving him a soft and satisfying hand job (but make sure that he doesn’t cum!). From here, you can move on to sucking his cock or having sex.
IMPORTANT NOTE: During this whole build up, your man may want to cut to the chase and have sex immediately. Don’t let him. You have to keep a good amount of control and keep slowly building up to sex. Then when your man does eventually cum, he will be thankful that he waited!
Don’t forget to include his whole body and not just his penis. If you’re stroking or blowing him (tips in this post), give his balls a little attention, too. Remember that this buildup can lead to your own explosive orgasms, and make penetrative sex more pleasurable.
3. Techniques to Make Him Cum Hard
Orgasm Control and Denial
Orgasm control is a great way to give him some of the best orgasms of his life. Orgasm control is essentially controlling when and how he can orgasm. If you don’t let him cum immediately, he may orgasm harder once he finally can cum.
Try bringing him near the edge then backing off or ruining his orgasm several times. This is known as edging, and he won’t believe the resulting orgasms.
Read More: What Is Edging & Why You Should Use It Tonight
Orgasm control works well in situations where you’re in control.
If you want to make your guy cum fast and hard, prostate play might just do the trick. The prostate is located inside his anus; although, you can stimulate it through the perineum if you’re not into penetration. And don’t worry, plenty of straight guys like prostate play!
Men report that orgasms from prostate stimulation differ from regular orgasms. They can involve his full body and may not even involve ejaculating. He might even be able to experience multiple orgasms this way [1 p.29].
Learn more about giving him amazing orgasms through prostate play.
Adding something new to your sex life can spice up your boring old routine and get your man to cum harder — and possibly cum quicker, too! Novelty can take many shapes. Simply trying sex in different rooms or positions can be enough. Take a dominant role if you’re normally more passive.
You can add sex toys, experiment with bondage, and explore each other’s kinks and fetishes.
For some people, having sex in public is novel. While the thrill of getting caught can send you over the edge, be careful that you don’t get caught and face severe consequences. For example, having sex near a school could get you labeled as a sexual predator. A camping spot might offer the risk of getting caught without the likely reality.
Tantric sex is all about sharing energy. Some people experience tantric sex as a form of spirituality. When you have tantric sex, you involve your whole body. There’s a special focus on your breathing.
You might have heard of some of the famous tantric sex positions, too.
If you want to learn more, check out our guide to tantric sex.
If your man takes a long time to cum, you might want to add a few tools to your arsenal. This can include cock rings, which prevent blood from leaving the penis, penis pumps that aid with an erection, or medication that can help with erectile and orgasmic function.
Find out how to pick and use a cock ring.
Your guy’s doctor can recommend medicine that might help him to cum quickly if there’s a health reason for his slow or weak orgasms. Cabergoline is one promising option .
4. The Release
You can use these actions below to get him to cum quickly if you think it’s taking too long. Of course, some will work better on your man while others will work better on other men. The key is a bit of trial and error to see what works best for your man…
- Tell him that you want/need him to cum in or on you, perhaps even begging. If you’re more dominant, you might demand that he cums. You can whisper it in your his ear, too.
- Try telling him not to cum. Some guys can’t resist, and this makes them cum fast.
- Stimulate his prostate.
- Moan, breathe heavily, and show that you’re enjoying things.
- Have your own orgasm. Sometimes guys only let themselves cum after their partners have. You can even suggest the two of you cum together if you’re good at controlling your orgasm.
Whatever the trigger is, you can use it to your advantage. Figuring out what makes your guy cum faster can make you feel like a sexual goddess.
When your man does reach orgasm after this slow but steady build-up, he will explode and cum really hard.
Frequently Asked Questions
FAQ #1 – Is there a secret to making a guy cum hard?
Typically, each guy has something that will do the trick. You can ask him directly if you want to find out. Or you can take your time getting to know him, trying techniques, and reading his body language to see what he responds to. Some techniques that work pretty well are dirty talk (including asking or demanding him to cum), being enthusiastic, or playing with his balls or prostate.
FAQ #2 – What makes one orgasm better than another?
There are a variety of factors that can effect an orgasm. You’ve probably had orgasms of varying intensity yourself. Common factors include sexual tension (see “The Build Up” above), novelty (including new partners, toys, and settings), fantasizing, and the possibility of getting caught.
Truthfully, we can’t always tell why one orgasm might be more pleasurable or powerful.
FAQ #3 – How long should it take a guy to cum?
While you shouldn’t get caught up on how long it “should” take a guy for cum, studies on this subject can provide you with a ballpark idea. One study finds that the median time men last for is 5.4 minutes before cumming once they’ve penetrated their partner vaginally with the longest-lasting men taking 44 minutes (circumcised) or 37 minutes (uncircumcised) . People aren’t usually having marathon sex that lasts forever.
Coincidentally, another survey found that the “desirable” length of penetrative sex according to sex therapists’ opinions is between 7 and 13 minutes with sex between 3 and 7 minutes being “adequate” . The average time falls squarely in the middle of “adequate.”
If you’ve built up sexual tension with plenty of foreplay, not only is your guy likely to cum hard, but you’ll likely to be sated and more satisfied even if penetration is a little on the shorter side.
Still, try not to get caught up on how long it should last. Focus on quality over quantity. The sex life you create with someone is a project you share. If you focus on working together and finding out what works for the two of you specifically, you can find what works .
FAQ #4 – Why does my partner take so long to cum.
There are some reasons why you guy takes so long to orgasm when you’re together, and some of them have nothing to do with you.
Many guys have difficult cumming with partners because they masturbate with an iron fist. He might be so accustomed to quick, vigorous stroking that it takes him much longer to cum even though sex feels amazing. Encourage him to ease up on masturbating. He can do it less or less intensely for a while, which might make it easier for him to cum during sex.
Conditions such as depression can affect sex in a variety of ways. You might know that depression wreaks havoc on your sex drive. But it can also decrease sensitivity and make it harder to cum.
Unfortunately, medication intended to treat depression and anxiety can decrease pleasure and make orgasm harder, too . In fact, drugs originally intended for depression are sometimes cause delayed ejaculation . Other medications, including those used to treat hypertension (high blood pressure), can also interfere with ejaculation/orgasm .
A few other factors that can play into delayed or lack of ejaculation include:
- Multiple sclerosis 
- Diabetes 
- Stroke 
- Nerve damage 
- Drug use 
- Alcohol consumption 
- Shame, fear or guilt about sex
- Performance anxiety 
- Poor body image 
- Hormonal imbalance 
- Testosterone deficiency [18, 19]
- Hypogonadism 
- Thyroid conditions 
- Prolactinoma 
Consider any existing health concerns or changes in health or medication. If you suspect any of these might be behind his delayed ejaculation, he should talk to his doctor. Delayed ejaculation can cause anxiety, lower self-esteem, and decrease satisfaction with your relationship .
Another way to improve orgasmic function is through Kegel exercises. You might have heard that doing Kegels can help your sexual function, but guys can do them, too! Tell your guy to do Kegels to strengthen his pelvis floor.
Related: 4 Kegel Exercises That Will Supercharge Your Sex Life!
Use of a condom during sex can delay ejaculation for many men . However, you should consider other forms of birth control or find more natural feeling condoms rather than having unsafe sex (Read: Is Sex Without A Condom OK?). Beware of numbing agents in condoms or lube, which can reduce pain but also pleasurable sensations that contribute to orgasm.
Find out how lube can make sex more comfortable and pleasurable.
Sometimes it can take so long for him to cum or perhaps he doesn’t come at all because of relationship issues . If you don’t tackle problems between you, you may continue to have sexual issues.
Sexual trauma can also lead to difficulties with orgasm .
As guys get older, orgasm can take longer or they may struggle to orgasm at all .
Finally, some guys are specifically trying not to cum because they think they need to last longer for their partners. Your man might think you want him to last 30 or 40 minutes, so he’s doing everything in his power, not to orgasm. However, you might find that this becomes uncomfortable or even a bit boring. To make sure you’re on the same page, talk to your partner about what you need.
FAQ #5 – Is there something wrong if he can’t cum with me?
As we discussed, difficult cumming could be due to relationship issues. Or he might just be nervous around you. It may also be a sign of body confidence issues or sexual anxiety. Health issues can also contribute to delayed ejaculation. In short, it might have nothing to do with you.
There may also be nothing you can do. Although, the two of you could attend therapy if a relationship issue is at the center of his difficulties with orgasm. Therapy can also be beneficial even if he goes alone to work though anxiety or other sexual hangups. The professional will try to eliminate relationship and couple issues by determining if the issues persist during masturbation .
Orgasm Every Time. Easily. Here’s How...
I want to tell you about my friend Karen.
Karen came to me one day. She was hysterical.
She told me that her marriage was falling apart because she and her husband didn’t have satisfying sex.
Every time they were intimate, Karen was faking her orgasms. It turns out she couldn’t orgasm during sex.
She never had an orgasm in her entire life. Not one!
This left her feeling embarrassed and ashamed. And...
She completely hid this from her husband. Thankfully...
It turns out that there is a way for any woman to orgasm. Easily. And have multiple vaginal and full body orgasms during sex and masturbation.
I shared the process with Karen.
After she followed the simple process, she could barely come to terms with how...
Quickly and dramatically her sex life changed.
We met up a few months later and...
She would not stop talking about it,
“I thought I was one of those women who couldn’t orgasm. I used to think I was ‘broken’ and ‘unfixable.’ This saved my sex life, and that saved my marriage.”
Even if you currently struggle to orgasm during sex or when masturbating, this process will also work for you.
And best of all, you don’t need to do anything weird or uncomfortable to start having the best orgasms and sex of your life.
Hi there I just wana know how can I have sex with my man that will make him addicted. Thank you
Try some of the positions from the sex positions section here or some of my blowjob tips.
I find that the key to getting, and keeping your man hooked, is to mix up a bit of everything, and really create a build up.
Really build up to sex when you’re out together. Purposely take him out in public and tease him all day. and then when you get home, make him wait a bit longer.(but don’t forget to keep teasing him and make sure you keep him turned on during all this)
My favourite thing to do when we’re alone is to get him really worked up, and start giving him a blowjob. Then halfway through, when he’s really enjoying it, just get up and walk away. It might take a little bit, but usually it ends in him just taking you right then and there. (it makes for fabulous sex)if you can work a turtle position or anything with rear-entry for this, then do it! Those positions are perfect for the intensity of thrusting you’ll likely get out of this method.
Beyond that, this site is full of really good tips that are quite useful for figuring out how to keep him hooked.
😉 Happy fucking,
I really want to knw how can i get my man to come sooner. Cz he cn extend it fr 1 or 2 hours
Sean Jameson says
Get him to stop masturbating for a few weeks and he will come much quicker.
m a girl ..can u please tell me how to control my precum and i come really fast even if i dont want to.
Sean Jameson says
I’ve never heard about this being an issue before…how about thinking about something unsexy and trying to turn yourself off?
be extra clean. find out what he likes. love his dick act like it is great but don’t over do he knows he is not a god. be a freak.
Much like a woman a man has emotions, insecurities and sexual fantasy’s. Cut off all outside distractions, set some mood music, very low lighting with conversation that looses each other in the moment, slowly directing conversation towards sexual desires. Every now and then slight touches for example..slide your hand down his chest saying “I find this part of you very sexy” don’t make him beg but make him want with anticipation and when he wants to just dive in respond for a 20 seconds and then slowly back off for about 20 seconds, repeat this type of action increasing the response time to 30 seconds and so on, during love making tell him very nuch the same things you wanna hear letting him know how much of a man he is. Then after cuddle with him in an erotic way. that would be a good start.
santana friar says
All u have to do is work ur vagina muscles,grind on his penis and no how to twerk that ass.
Lol yes absolutely that works all the time!!!
Tony Sorrells says
Kegels and use 100% coconut oil for lube.
Yes, o my word, the coconut oil is a must!
My old man and i use it every time, needed or not, and i have had significantly fewer UTIs. I’ve been prone to them my whole life. We’re talking 5-6 a year. I’ve had 1 in the past 2 years with no other changes. Except way more sex. Its a godsend. Sorry if tmi! But while nit a sexy subject, having one is a libido killer fir me so nit having one is sexy in itself! Haha or something
What if your guys the type who WOULD screw you in public if he could, or the type who suggests we find a quiter place (not that this would be his first suggestion! lol)
for example if the conversation went
she says: “if we werent in a public place, i would fuck your brains out”
He says: lets just do it now, i’ll fuck your brains out right here
she says: … what does she say? lol how does she respond to that!?
or even if she said what he said, how would she pull that off?
Thanks for your comment. The key thing is to use your imagination…really think about what you would do in that situation. I can give you a few suggestions like in the Dirty Talking section, but ultimately you need to develop your own to use on your man.
Thanks for your hints and tips. My husband and I are having great sex as a result. The build up usually starts on a Friday night when we watch an erotic movie. My husband then undresses me and drives me to a fantastic orgasm by sucking my clitty. I will reward him with a very slow blowjob that has many starts and stops. Eventually I will let him explode in my mouth.
On Saturday, the next day, we talk dirty to eachother all day. He usually complains that his balls start hurting. In the evening we take a shower together where we kiss and hug, wash eachother’s body and dry it afterwards. He begs me to relief his balls. I ask him to lie on the bed where I sit next to him on the floor. Slowly I start sucking his cock and gently massage his balls. I stop and wait when he starts groaning. Sometimes I wait a couple of minutes to allow his cock to loose stiffness. I love the taste of his pre-cum. After many starts and stops I finally build him up to an orgasm. I tickle the tip of his pole with my tongue to make him surrender. I hold his gun straight up and wait. It does not take long until he shoots his load high up in the air. Several spurts are launched and land on his stomach when they fall back. I suck the last drops out until his cock looses its stiffness.
Now I am so excited that I want more. It is my turn to lie on the bed where he kisses my pussy. It does not take long until he has a strong erection again. I ask him to lie on the bed so I can ride him as a cowgirl. I can feel his long pole touching me deep inside. It is no problem for him to postpone his orgasm now. I can enjoy the ride for at least half an hour. He sucks my tits that dangle above his face. It drives me crazy and I have multiple orgasms. Eventually I get tired and let him take over. I lift my body a bit so he can bounce up and down against it. When he starts groaning I push my lower body slowly down to feel his hard pole deep inside me. He stops moving and pumps his hot cum in my pussy. We are both exhausted and usually fall asleep in eachother’s arms.
This all started after reading your tips 6 months ago. Thanks!
Sean Jameson says
Fantastic! So glad that I could be of help to you and your man! If you have any more tips of your own that you would like to share with the Bad Girls Bible community, then please let me know? Keep up the great (& fun) work!
You’re awesome. My man and I have amazing sex but we gotta get ti where you are. Our bond is way strong now but i imagine so much stronger the closer we get in bed.
Hi Sean, while reading this post I was thinking, I have sort of a friends with benefits relationship.. more like when we are in the same town, we go out, and we may finish or not, having sex. Even though I would love to try creating anticipation, I wonder if that is like a bf/gf thing, I mean could he feel like I’m moving things in a different direction? I would love like sending sex messages once in a while, even though we are not going to see each other right away. just because I’m thinking of him in a sexual way, you know? I just don’t want to freak him out.. thanks!
Sean Jameson says
Your best bet would be with taking baby steps and sending him some not-so-dirty text messages first, gauging his reaction and then just going from there. The dirty talking section should help!
Hi im 23 and my bf is 34 when we have sex it it amazing. When we have intercourse he hardly ever ejaculates in me. It only happed 3 or 4I times. I diluted what to do. He says he almost goes numb ir he says im not tight enough. He was my first therefore I was a virgin. Help!!! How can I make him cim in me?
Sean Jameson says
Firstly don’t worry at all, it’s almost definitely not a problem that you’re creating! The most likely reasons why your man has trouble cumming is that he either masturbates with a grip that is too hard, watches too much porn or a combination of both. The best thing to do is talk to your man about it and try to get him to lay off masturbating at all for a few months.
Bobby Simmons says
Chances are he’s a lot like most guys…doesn’t want to get you pregnant. Unless you have a specific medical condition that prevents you from having kids, he probably doesn’t want you to get pregnant. It has nothing to do with porn, or his “grip” or how hard or often he masturbates. Nice try Sean…but not buying that line…
BJ expert says
I would suggest the following 10 tips….
1. More foreplay before you give him a blow job, kiss him, touch n lick his body, tease him to really get him turned on. Not just erect but really turned on and gagging for you to blow his mind.
2. Start of with a hand job, hard and fast or slow and soft (depends how he likes it). Continue to kiss him and touch his body all over.
3. Talk dirty to him, just simple things like how much you want him or things you know he will like. Dirtier the better I always say.
4. Try playing with his balls, some men like this others do not.
5. When you do then go down to suck his cock try licking the head and shaft, making eye contact with him. Also taking it as far in your mouth as you can, also know as deep throating. These two things over and above your regular technique will help as they can be very visual. Just try different techniques and feel his reaction. You will know what he likes.
6. use your hand to continue masterbating him while you suck his penis from time to time. Help give your mouth a rest so you can go longer till he comes.
7. You could try going for the male G spot. If he likes this then it will definitely help him come. Almost guaranteed.
8. Take a break with your mouth to rest but continue using your hand. If he likes his balls being played with then a good time to lick them, while you rest your mouth.
9. Be prepared to spend 5 to 10 minutes to make him cum. This is in addition to time spent teasing him and really turning him on at the start. But it’s essential you turn him on mental, rather than just get him hard and give him oral for 2mins then expect him to come.
10. Remember eye contact, as most men love this and love the visual aspect of oral sex.
But in essence know your man and put the time and effort in ladies.
Sean Jameson says
Wow, thank you!
What if a guy has uhm what’s it called ‘slow ejaculation’? (he doesn’t cum easy). Are there any special tricks/techniques for that?
Sean Jameson says
Get him to stop masturbating at all for a full month and he should be fine.
ITs ALL about Enthusiasm!!!
Thats is the biggest number 1 thing! Its all it takes for me!
Look… I never ever cum inside…. I can’t… Even having sex for more than 6horus …. I can only cum with my hands … Now please if anyone can help tell me what to do please? Because I am tired of hearing…from girls this is weird … Or u r weird… Please help me
Sean Jameson says
Sounds like you have death grip. Stop masturbating for a few weeks and you’ll notice that you are suddenly a whole lot more sensitive.
I have the opposite problem. I find that when I meet a guy and want to hook up with him, they cum within the first 3 minutes of fucking. Maybe I am doing too much teasing or something….. I don’t know what I am doing wrong but it kind of dampens the entire evening because they want to leave or not have sex again.
Sean Jameson says
Sounds very frustrating. However, you’ll find that they’ll usually last much longer during round 2.
Honestly all you have to do is enjoy what you’re doing. If your man thinks it’s just an act he isn’t going to relax and allow himself to reach his potential. Get to know his body and be creative with how you touch and please him. Make noise, let him know you enjoy it and take control. Pleasing him should please you. Find that spot that you both love. Ask questions “how does this feel” giggle in a seductive way be playful! 🙂
There’s always someone better
blah blah says
All of this really depends on your guy. I’m in a D/s relationship with my girl where I’m the master and she’s the sub. The best sex for me starts with her being submissive. If she’s done something wrong and needs to be punished, it’s even more of a turn-on. I spank her, then finger her, then make her orgasm until she can’t orgam any more (where it’s super-sensitive)… I do this both to her clit and her g-spot. Then I take her, and I make her take it. The feeling of knowing she’s spent and can barely stand any more pleasure, and then forcing her to take more gets me off pretty hard. It also gets her off again, because all of that super-sensitivity (which would normally make her stop if she was pleasuring herself) turns into this “pain is pleasure” ecstasy that makes her orgasm again right about the time I have mine. When I’m done with her she’s just a used up mess, I’ve had my big O, and we cuddle and I pet her and tell her she’s a good girl.
So, like I said, it really depends on the guy. Some guys like being teased and worked up. Others like to be the teasers and the ones working the girl up / over.
Oooohh I’d love a relationship like that. it’s sooo fifty shades. 😀
MY OH MY THAT TURNED ME ON ?!! I LOVE IT WHEN A MAN TAKE CHARGE AND WORK THE GIRL OVER ?
Jacking off says
What did my girl just had a baby an she’s tight but a. Little lose after Starting g can I put my hand in it or or that bad
I don’t wanna have sex with my boo just wanna make him cum with a bj too
As a guy I’ve gotta say dirty talk through-out the day is one great way to build things up. Dated one girl that liked too IM me at work and say nasty things. Throughout the day all I could think about was getting to her place after work and making her “pay” for all those nasty things she said. We’d have sex 4-6 times a week. Dated another girl that wasn’t into dirty talk. She liked kinky stuff, like spanking and being submissive, but I was always the one that had to initiate sexual contact. We had sex 1-2 times a week. There just wasn’t much motivation there. I could do more things to the other girl, but since she didn’t do much to get my motor running it was just pointless. It’s ok to lay there with your legs spread and just take it. As long as you give a guy a reason to give it to you. You don’t have to be a super-star in bed. Just initiating dirty talk, making your guy know you want him, building him up with nasty thoughts all day… that lights the fire. He’s a powder keg. All you have to do is light his fire… then lay back and let him do all the work and explode. Now, granted, a girl that does do extra things (like oral, anal, lets her man lay back while she does the work, etc) is a better deal then a girl that just lays there. But, a girl that does nasty stuff in bed, but doesn’t dirty talk her man to build him up and get him excited to come over and do it is just wasting her time. Like I said, no sense in being the best in bed if you don’t get your guy excited and looking forward to it.
I wanted to give my man the best blowjob and make him cum fast
Hi, my boyfriend and I have good sex. I only say good because I have problems being able to orgasm. This frustrates him and sometimes we just stop. I don’t know what to do to make it better for us?! Any advice would be appreciated. The sex itself feels really good he hits some amazing spots and I just don’t know what is wrong…help!
Sean Jameson says
This guide should help.
CJ brock says
I know when this happens to me which isn’t often, it is because he gets me right on the verge he changes technic. He gets me going again and again but sometimes he just doesn’t stay in that spot until I cum. I end up getting frustrated and lose interest. I have to say though most of the time we have amazing sex and sometimes it is all about me. We can sit on the couch and he will start fingering me until I cum and he expects nothing in return. Also toys can almost always help achieve the big O.
My husband take long to cam am only 23 and he is 25 every time we are having sex I said cam for me and he didn’t so we tired and tired and still nothing
I’ve been reading your newsletters and on this site for while now! Yesterday I used some of those BJ tips you talk about WOW the drove him nuts he loved them so much along with the hand job tips to I used some of those on him, he told me at one point you keep doing this you going to get huge surprise on you! LOL needless you say foreplay ended and we got to business and few minutes later he was super happy he told me look what you did to me, you made me cum all fast and hard 🙂 evil smile I said well that is not bad thing at all, he said hell no it’s not just damn woman look what you did to me! Needless to say he was very very happy, I’ve yet to tell him where I got those great tips from thank you so very much! Sean I have learned from things on this site as well as read interesting stuff too. I did think to myself thank you sean for those tips you posted HEHE. If a man can tell you that you “look what you made me do cum quick and hard” and he has smile on his face then you know he’s happy.
Hey Sean i was wondering if you could help me out? Im seeing this guy who is insatiable we had sex for 4 hours straight and he did not cum once ! I have never had this problem usually with in 30 mins the guy is done and asleep not this guy. I have done everything I can think of ,I even asked him if i was doing something wrong and what I could do to make him go . He said nothing , he has never “gone”before he said he cant because he wants to make sure that the woman is happy and when shes happy hes happy. Wont that hurt him if he never “goes” ?
Sean Jameson says
If he’s hurting he’ll let you know. But if you want him to cum, then get him to start masturbating for a few weeks. This will make him super sensitive.
Relationship helper says
Also be subtle guys want a woman who can get there gears going and make them feel like it’s all them so make him feel like he’s doing all the work.
blah blah blacksheep says
Great sex revolves around dominance and submission, and using sex as a means to let out your inner primal urges regarding such, often in very physical fashion.
EG: a lot of sex starts off sweet, but when the orgasm comes around it usually turns into a brutal act of grabbing, holding and thrusting.
Many men are dominant, but they have to bottle up their “inner beast” in the real world to be a responsible citizen, work for a boss, get told what to do.
So, when they get into the bedroom the fastest way to get them hard is to give them authority over you and treat them like they own you and you’re “scared” of them. IE: like when they bark an order, you jump to it lest you worry about the repercussions of not doing it.
This gets men hard… either way. Either the woman does as she’s told, or she’s given him a reason to “punish” her. If a man is dominant, then nothing makes him harder then “putting you in your place”. Spanking, hair-pulling, grabbing, barking orders, talking down to you, “making you take it”, etc, etc.
Many women want this, too. They want to feel this utter sense of submission, not just freely giving it, but this feeling like their man commands/demands it from them. And, if they don’t give it, then the only alternative is to get punished. They want this sense of “victimization” in the bedroom… that they are out of control, that they have to give in or else face worse consequences, a feeling that their good looks and vagina are sacrifices to a beast (their man’s primal carnal instinct) to appease it. To feel taken and forced to be bred, thus reinforcing the idea that they have selected a strong mate.
Sex is about letting go of your “responsible citizen” self, and indulging in your instinctual, primal urges. It’s about being physical with each other and pushing each others boundaries. Pain and Pleasure go hand in hand.
But, many people don’t talk about this with their partners. They just think it will magically happen “if they’re with the right one”. Some how this “right one” will magically know what to do and read your mind. S/he won’t.
You have to sit down together and be honest/candid about your desires. You want your man to take charge in the bedroom. Tell him that. But, don’t say it when you’re sick of him and frustrated. Tell him when you’re sitting down talking and you’re both calm and open with each other.
Many women want a guy that will ravish them, but many men are worried about hurting their woman’s feelings, hurting her physically, going too far, etc.
That’s why you talk about kink, fetishes, set limits, set safe words, talk about role-play fantasies.
Then you get to it and you let nature take its course.. but you respect the boundaries. If your woman doesn’t like anal, then it’s off the table. If your man doesn’t like you on top or taking control, then you don’t get on top.
The best way to experiment with this is to just have one sex session where you both agree that a) the man has complete control of what’s going on, b) the woman will be completely submissive to his will, c) a safe word will be used by the woman if she feels things are going to far (discuss limits ahead of time), d) (most importantly) act out your given part to the extreme.
If you’re the man, you’re going to act out being dominant. But not just “he, suck my dick”. No. Act out being the prison warden at an all-girls prison, and you just caught some prisoner (your gf) trying to escape. You have complete control over this woman. You need to first punish her (spanking, hair pulling, talking down to her), then you need to fuck her hard to let her know who’s the boss. She balks or tries to fight, then you grab her and spank her and make it clear that she either does things your way, or there will be hell to pay as the alternative.
If you’re the man, then you let your inner “victim/submissive” self come out to play, and let it take control of you. Your mind and your body know what to do. He barks an order at you, you do it. Don’t question him. You say “yes sir” or “yes master”. He owns you. He can do as he pleases with you. Get into the mind-set. Surrender to your submissiveness and victimization. Act like a defenseless animal that’s just been caught by a predator, and is doing everything in its power to try to appease the predator in the hopes of living for another day. Dial it up to 11.
When you bring out your inner primal urges, and dial them up to 11, you’ll be surprised how much sexual energy comes along with it. A man’s natural reaction is to fuck what he wants to dominate. A woman’s natural reaction is to get fucked by that which is dominating her. A man’s natural reaction is to talk sternly, bark orders, and get physical by grabbing hair, spanking, etc to put a woman in her place and establish dominance. A woman’s natural reaction is to do as she’s told and please him for fear of repercussions.
We have spent centuries repressing this to act like civilized people in the real world. But, that doesn’t mean they don’t still exist in us. And, acting this out in the bedroom is our chance to release that pressure valve.
Learning very specific techniques to get a guy off can help enhance something, but you need to first understand what your man wants in a broader sense from sexual encounters. Sure, guys like getting off, but they can masturbate to do that. Guys look at porn to live out fantasies they don’t get in real life. Many of these fantasies involve power exchange, where he can be an utter brute and stud in the bedroom while women are just bowing to his will and being used like depraved carnal animals. Figure out the basics of what piques your man’s sexual interests, and then find ways to cater to that. Sit down and talk to him about this. Tell him you won’t get upset about it. Be open-minded. Because a lot of what gets a guy off is not the technique a girl is using to suck his dick or whatever… it’s the depraved situation he’s in that’s fueling his mind…. spanking a woman then forcing her down to take his manhood. Grabbing her hair and forcing her down to suck him off. Her saying things like “what should I do, master?” which lets him know he’s in charge and she’s playing the role of submissive slut. That is what gets a guy off. How a woman acts in the situation, and how receptive she is to how he acts.. all dialed up to 11.
Hi, my man needs a lot of stimulation to stay hard, and I have a lot of trouble keeping him up while I give him a hand job. Could you please help me here? I feel like a failure when I’m touching him and he goes soft on me.
Sean Jameson says
It could depend on his age, his physical and mental health and any medication he may be taking. Get him to talk to a doctor about it.
John Hylant says
The replies are so male dominate. I love dom women. No safe words just trust her. Leave the sake words someplace else and let her take contro. We have to control a lot most of the time, what a gift it is from her when she takes control and you get that release both mentally and physically. Don’t worry you’ll have to take controlof some things soon enough.
So my man says I’m right and that what I do feels really good. But he still comes better and more frequently with his own hand. It’s kind of a confidence killer and I want to make him cum better and feel better with me. But one position that makes him feel really good I absolutely hate.
Sean Jameson says
You gotta talk to him and let him know what you need and then work together to find a solution that works.
he did it so good!
This is good stuff. I would add, If you are talking about hand and mouth only, and you want the quickest route, there is a trick. Let it breathe. You may be stroking it hard for 60 seconds thinking he is getting close, but really, you are numbing him. That sort of thing is great, but needs to wait until the very end, and even then it is very specific. How do you know you are at the end? Let it breathe. From start to finish you can get it done in 10 minutes if you stop every 30 to 60 seconds for a deep base squeeze, hold, stare at it, wait 10 seconds, wiggle that base squeeze, and then start again. Do this every now and then to check your progress (head size). If you do it right, you will find the max inflation in about 10 minutes. Now it’s ready for triggering. Don’t mess it up or you may lose several minutes of previous effort. To trigger, you need to get as much surface area contact on the underside of the shaft, and 360 contact at the neck. Now the strokes need to be 1” back and forths getting stopped by the first 1/4” of head. This is more tugging than it is pushing. Then every 5th or 6th stroke, give the whole head a rub over or two or three. 36 strokes of this pattern should do the trick. If it doesn’t, agin you risk numbing, so go back to the base squeeze and wiggle. That’s it. Super simple. When you are certain that it is happening, this is the key, the 1” tug up to the 1/4” on the head needs to shorten up to 1/2” tug up to the 1/8” up the head. You can even do some short holds on that position. Good luck!
Sean Jameson says
Very specific tips, thanks Mark
Ok i cant cum at all what should i do
Sean Jameson says
Check out the orgasm guide.
My girlfriend is awesome! She already sucks my dick and swallows my cum. I just wonder if the blowjob bible would get her to do it more often.
Sean Jameson says
It can definitely improve her skills which can improve her confidence which in turn may encourage her to do it more often.
My boyfriend tries to cum later than he usually would in an attempt to ensure I’m satisfied. Like he does it on purpose to make me feel better. I really don’t want him to. He doesn’t lose his erection after he cums. I prefer to just take breaks tbh. Plus him being able to last for that long doesn’t really do my self esteem any good. Please help.
Sean Jameson says
Have you discussed this with him?
Kitty Kat says
I have same thing. He cums but always still hard, even if he cums 3 times or more he is still hard. Also he never cum inside even though I’m so tight and wet, I was a virgin and he had to dig his way through, it was very painful in the beginning and he was always careful which made me trust him more and want to do more with him, and he always said that he will cum instantly once he is inside because of how tight and wet I’m. But now that we are doing it, even if he is in there for an hour he doesn’t cum, and I get tired and we always finish it outside…I have been with other men before but we never had intercourse and they always cum so fast and then pass out, but with my man now it always takes so long even though I’m doing more with him and we are also having intercourse. It makes me frustrated and lose enthusiasm and not want to have sex because I want to go multiple times, and sometimes we only have short time in our hands, but then instead we have to spend so much time doing him just for one. So now I always have to think weather we have at least 1.5 hours and alot of energy to spare for sex if he initiates or if I’m feeling sexual myself, and many times I just have to suppress myself or tell him to do it another time because of time and energy knowing that it has to be 1.5 hours at least mainly because of the time it takes for him.