Should you even bother learning all the sex tips here on the Bad Girls Bible if you don’t even know how to make your man cum fast and powerfully? I think we both know the answer to this question…So today, I’m going to show you exactly how to make your man cum hard every time in just 5 minutes by showing you:
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- The SINGLE-most-important thing you need to do to your man.
- How to make him cum harder than any other girl.
- Why a build up is crucial to him cumming hard and having a super-satisfying orgasm.
Learning how to make a guy cum is actually really easy. Everything you need, you’ll find throughout The Bad Girls Bible. I will teach you everything you need to know when it comes to pleasing your man and making him cum really strongly. Whether you want to learn how to give a killer blowjob or how to talk dirty or learn some good sex positions, it’s all here. This article is going to show you some of the best strategies that you must use if you are truly serious about giving your man a powerful orgasm and making him cum really hard.
1. It’s All About Enthusiasm
It seems that a lot of students of the Bad Girls Bible I talk to don’t understand or ‘get’ this until I explain it to them…
A major component of turning your man is satisfying his ego (not just his penis). When you are enthusiastic about sex, it’s a powerful subconscious signal to your man that you are attracted to him and turned on by being with him. This is massively satisfying for his ego, which turns men on in an incredibly powerful way.
When you are not very responsive and involved during sex, you are doing the opposite. You are sending your man a subconscious signal that you are not that turned on by him and not that attracted to him. As a result, you are saying to his ego that you don’t think much of him. This is exactly what you shouldn’t do if you want to turn him on and make him cum hard.
During sex, I call this problem Starfish Syndrome. It’s as if you are a starfish, just lying there with your legs, arms and head pretty much motionless. It’s the one thing that is a major turn off to almost all guys.
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While I don’t really recommend learning sex techniques and maneuvers from watching pornography, one thing that you will notice from watching porn is that all the female pornstars are very enthusiastic and active in every scene.
Because it turns men on and ultimately makes them cum a lot of harder.
Part of enthusiasm might be taking the reigns or taking the lead in bed, although this can make some women self-conscious. Thankfully, you can read our advice for being confident when you’re on top and in control that should help you to be less self-conscious.
Find Out What He Likes
Everyone has a fantasy or specific sex technique or position that turns them on much more than regular sex. You need to find out what your man’s fantasies are. This is going to make him orgasm and cum much harder than when you are doing plain old missionary position with him.
It could be something really normal like you dressing up and roleplaying some scenario, or it could be a bit more ‘out there.’ Dirty talk ranks highly as something that sets many people over the edge, and you might like it, too. Get inspired to talk dirty.
He might have difficulty telling you what he wants or needs to cum, perhaps because of guilt or a specific fetish that makes him feel shame (Read: What Is A Fetish and Can It Lead to Better Sex?).
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It’s absolutely vital that you keep an open mind and are not judgemental when discussing it with your man along with being excited to try something new with him. Because talking about sex can be difficult, we have a guide to sexual communication. Check out the sexual communication guide.
2. The Build Up
Sometimes a quickie feels great (find out more about quickies). But if you want your man to have an orgasm so hard that he shoots his load across the room, then you need to slowly build up to it. Building up slowly to orgasm can start many hours before you even see him. Try sending him a few dirty texts before you see him to build the sexual tension (learn more about sexual tension) and titillate him with things to come. If you are both out together in public or at a party, turn up the sexual tension by saying something like:
I can’t wait till we’re alone, I’ve got a sexy surprise for you!
If we weren’t in a public place right now, I would fuck your brains out!
It’s up to you how sexual you want to be.
When you say something like this, it will turn your man on a lot because of your intentions. But as you can’t actually do anything about it (as there are other people around), it builds sexual tension also. So when you do eventually get alone with your man, he will literally want to rip your clothes off.
Did you know that many of our readers told us that sexting is a surefire way to get horny? Discover 11 ways to make yourself horny now.
When you are both alone together, you have to keep taking things really slowly. Start by kissing him passionately and then move on to very slowly giving him a soft and satisfying hand job (but make sure that he doesn’t cum!). From here, you can move on to sucking his cock or having sex.
IMPORTANT NOTE: During this whole build up, your man may want to cut to the chase and have sex immediately. Don’t let him. You have to keep a good amount of control and keep slowly building up to sex. Then when your man does eventually cum, he will be thankful that he waited!
Don’t forget to include his whole body and not just his penis. If you’re stroking or blowing him (tips in this post), give his balls a little attention, too. Remember that this buildup can lead to your own explosive orgasms, and make penetrative sex more pleasurable.
3. Techniques to Make Him Cum Hard
Orgasm Control and Denial
Orgasm control is a great way to give him some of the best orgasms of his life. Orgasm control is essentially controlling when and how he can orgasm. If you don’t let him cum immediately, he may orgasm harder once he finally can cum.
Try bringing him near the edge then backing off or ruining his orgasm several times. This is known as edging, and he won’t believe the resulting orgasms.
Orgasm control works well in situations where you’re in control.
If you want to make your guy cum fast and hard, prostate play might just do the trick. The prostate is located inside his anus; although, you can stimulate it through the perineum if you’re not into penetration. And don’t worry, plenty of straight guys like prostate play!
Men report that orgasms from prostate stimulation differ from regular orgasms. They can involve his full body and may not even involve ejaculating. He might even be able to experience multiple orgasms this way [1 p.29].
Adding something new to your sex life can spice up your boring old routine and get your man to cum harder — and possibly cum quicker, too! Novelty can take many shapes. Simply trying sex in different rooms or positions can be enough. Take a dominant role if you’re normally more passive.
You can add sex toys (check out our sex toy recommendations), experiment with bondage, and explore each other’s kinks and fetishes.
For some people, having sex in public is novel. While the thrill of getting caught can send you over the edge, be careful that you don’t get caught and face severe consequences. For example, having sex near a school could get you labeled as a sexual predator. A camping spot might offer the risk of getting caught without the likely reality.
Tantric sex is all about sharing energy. Some people experience tantric sex as a form of spirituality. When you have tantric sex, you involve your whole body. There’s a special focus on your breathing.
You might have heard of some of the famous tantric sex positions, too.
If you want to learn more, check out our guide to tantric sex.
If your man takes a long time to cum, you might want to add a few tools to your arsenal. This can include cock rings, which prevent blood from leaving the penis, penis pumps that aid with an erection, or medication that can help with erectile and orgasmic function.
Find out how to pick and use a cock ring.
Your guy’s doctor can recommend medicine that might help him to cum quickly if there’s a health reason for his slow or weak orgasms. Cabergoline is one promising option .
4. The Release
You can use these actions below to get him to cum quickly if you think it’s taking too long. Of course, some will work better on your man while others will work better on other men. The key is a bit of trial and error to see what works best for your man…
- Tell him that you want/need him to cum in or on you, perhaps even begging. If you’re more dominant, you might demand that he cums. You can whisper it in your his ear, too.
- Try telling him not to cum. Some guys can’t resist, and this makes them cum fast.
- Stimulate his prostate.
- Moan, breathe heavily, and show that you’re enjoying things.
- Have your own orgasm. Sometimes guys only let themselves cum after their partners have. You can even suggest the two of you cum together if you’re good at controlling your orgasm.
Whatever the trigger is, you can use it to your advantage. Figuring out what makes your guy cum faster can make you feel like a sexual goddess.
When your man does reach orgasm after this slow but steady build-up, he will explode and cum really hard.
Check out this post where 19 men reveal what makes them cum faster in bed.
Frequently Asked Questions
FAQ #1 – Is there a secret to making a guy cum hard?
Typically, each guy has something that will do the trick. You can ask him directly if you want to find out. Or you can take your time getting to know him, trying techniques, and reading his body language to see what he responds to. Some techniques that work pretty well are dirty talk (including asking or demanding him to cum), being enthusiastic, or playing with his balls or prostate.
FAQ #2 – What makes one orgasm better than another?
There are a variety of factors that can effect an orgasm. You’ve probably had orgasms of varying intensity yourself. Common factors include sexual tension (see “The Build Up” above), novelty (including new partners, toys, and settings), fantasizing, and the possibility of getting caught.
Truthfully, we can’t always tell why one orgasm might be more pleasurable or powerful.
FAQ #3 – How long should it take a guy to cum?
While you shouldn’t get caught up on how long it “should” take a guy for cum, studies on this subject can provide you with a ballpark idea. One study finds that the median time men last for is 5.4 minutes before cumming once they’ve penetrated their partner vaginally with the longest-lasting men taking 44 minutes (circumcised) or 37 minutes (uncircumcised) . People aren’t usually having marathon sex that lasts forever.
Coincidentally, another survey found that the “desirable” length of penetrative sex according to sex therapists’ opinions is between 7 and 13 minutes with sex between 3 and 7 minutes being “adequate” . The average time falls squarely in the middle of “adequate.”
If you’ve built up sexual tension with plenty of foreplay, not only is your guy likely to cum hard, but you’ll likely to be sated and more satisfied even if penetration is a little on the shorter side.
Still, try not to get caught up on how long it should last. Focus on quality over quantity. The sex life you create with someone is a project you share. If you focus on working together and finding out what works for the two of you specifically, you can find what works .
FAQ #4 – Why does my partner take so long to cum.
There are some reasons why you guy takes so long to orgasm when you’re together, and some of them have nothing to do with you.
Many guys have difficult cumming with partners because they masturbate with an iron fist. He might be so accustomed to quick, vigorous stroking that it takes him much longer to cum even though sex feels amazing. Encourage him to ease up on masturbating. He can do it less or less intensely for a while, which might make it easier for him to cum during sex.
Conditions such as depression can affect sex in a variety of ways. You might know that depression wreaks havoc on your sex drive. But it can also decrease sensitivity and make it harder to cum.
Unfortunately, medication intended to treat depression and anxiety can decrease pleasure and make orgasm harder, too . In fact, drugs originally intended for depression are sometimes cause delayed ejaculation . Other medications, including those used to treat hypertension (high blood pressure), can also interfere with ejaculation/orgasm .
A few other factors that can play into delayed or lack of ejaculation include:
- Multiple sclerosis 
- Diabetes 
- Stroke 
- Nerve damage 
- Drug use 
- Alcohol consumption 
- Shame, fear or guilt about sex
- Performance anxiety 
- Poor body image 
- Hormonal imbalance 
- Testosterone deficiency [18, 19]
- Hypogonadism 
- Thyroid conditions 
- Prolactinoma 
Consider any existing health concerns or changes in health or medication. If you suspect any of these might be behind his delayed ejaculation, he should talk to his doctor. Delayed ejaculation can cause anxiety, lower self-esteem, and decrease satisfaction with your relationship .
Another way to improve orgasmic function is through Kegel exercises. You might have heard that doing Kegels can help your sexual function, but guys can do them, too! Tell your guy to do Kegels to strengthen his pelvis floor.
Use of a condom during sex can delay ejaculation for many men . However, you should consider other forms of birth control or find more natural feeling condoms rather than having unsafe sex (Read: Is Sex Without A Condom OK?). Beware of numbing agents in condoms or lube, which can reduce pain but also pleasurable sensations that contribute to orgasm.
Sometimes it can take so long for him to cum or perhaps he doesn’t come at all because of relationship issues . If you don’t tackle problems between you, you may continue to have sexual issues.
Sexual trauma can also lead to difficulties with orgasm .
As guys get older, orgasm can take longer or they may struggle to orgasm at all .
Finally, some guys are specifically trying not to cum because they think they need to last longer for their partners. Your man might think you want him to last 30 or 40 minutes, so he’s doing everything in his power, not to orgasm. However, you might find that this becomes uncomfortable or even a bit boring. To make sure you’re on the same page, talk to your partner about what you need.
FAQ #5 – Is there something wrong if he can’t cum with me?
As we discussed, difficult cumming could be due to relationship issues. Or he might just be nervous around you. It may also be a sign of body confidence issues or sexual anxiety. Health issues can also contribute to delayed ejaculation. In short, it might have nothing to do with you.
There may also be nothing you can do. Although, the two of you could attend therapy if a relationship issue is at the center of his difficulties with orgasm. Therapy can also be beneficial even if he goes alone to work though anxiety or other sexual hangups. The professional will try to eliminate relationship and couple issues by determining if the issues persist during masturbation .
Watch This: Oral Sex Tutorial Video
I put together this in-depth, step-by-step instructional video that will teach you how to make your lover sexually addicted to you and only you. It contains a number of oral sex techniques that will give them full-body, shaking orgasms. If you're interested in learning these techniques to keep your lover addicted and deeply devoted to you as well as having a lot more fun in the bedroom, then you may want to check out the video. You can watch it by clicking here.