Contrary to popular belief, guys get turned off just like girls can. Sure, the rumor is they want sex more often than women, but certain things can drive down his desire for sex enough to make him want to drink a beer and watch the game instead of heading to the bedroom with you.
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If you want to keep his sex drive revved up and ready to go at any time, nix these 10 big turn offs for guys that are akin to him imagining his mother in her skivvies…yikes!
One of the biggest turn offs for guys is nagging. All women do it (as do all men), but few realize the true impact that their nagging can really have. Sure, he may go ahead and do the dishes or mow the lawn because he’s heard about it for the past three days, but chances are, it’s going to work against you if you want him jumping your bones later. No matter how much of a bombshell you are, nagging your man makes you look like a gremlin in water to him and is one of the major turn offs for guys.
Instead of nagging, be positive when asking him to do things. You can write it down for him as a reminder, but if he forgets, don’t make a huge deal out of it. It may be frustrating and overwhelming for you at times, but it’s a great way to make sure you stay sexy in his eyes. Of course, this doesn’t mean you should be allowing him to get away with murder either!
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2. Controlling Behavior
Women get a bad rap for trying to change guys. It’s one of the things that guys really do get frustrated about though. Most men in a solid relationship deal with it, because they love their gal. But one of the biggest turn offs for guys is when women try to control them. Telling him what he “can” and “can’t” do is will not only make him seethe with anger, but is a surefire way to make sure his fly stays zipped for the night.
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Rather than displaying controlling behavior, let him know how something he does makes you feel. If hanging out with his friend at work who happens to be a girl makes you super nervous, just be honest with him. If he tells you there’s nothing to worry about, “forbidding” him to see her is just going to piss him off and he’ll probably still do it anyway. In addition to being one of the major turn offs for guys, controlling a man out of your own insecurities can cause significant relationship problems.
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3. Smothering Him
For the same reason that guys don’t like being controlled, they can’t stand being smothered either. It’s one of the most annoying major turn offs for men. No matter how much a man loves a woman, or digs their randy rendezvous, he still needs his guy time. Constantly calling him, asking him where he is, and demanding that you spend every waking second together will make him run for the hills.
Don’t be afraid to give him some space. If he wants to spend the evening chilling with the guys, it doesn’t mean he’s suddenly not into you anymore. He needs time and space to be the person he was before he met you, because that person didn’t suddenly disappear when you walked into the room. Use his “guy time” to get in some of your own “girl time.” Go shopping with your friends or treat yourself to a pedicure. Let him come back around when he’s ready, and you can bet he’ll be chomping at the bit to spend some quality one-on-one time with you in the bedroom.
4. Withholding Sex as Punishment
If your guy does something you don’t like, it may seem like a good idea to eliminate any and all bedroom activity until he corrects his behavior. This can potentially work. But then it sets up sex as a treat that you give to him instead of something you both share together. This has huge potential to do lasting damage to the relationship and is one of the biggest turn offs for guys.
Guys have a bad reputation for not wanting to talk about their feelings, and women think that this is one of the things that turn guys off. But if he’s done something to upset you, he’d much rather you be honest with him than shut him down sexually. Never use sex as a tool to get what you want in a relationship — it’s liable to put him off sex and is a major turn off for guys. Plus, men like sex. If you’re not giving it to him, chances are he’ll find someone else who will.
5. Excessive Negativity
Guys understand that sh– happens, and sometimes it sucks. He’s probably not going to mind when you legitimately have an issue that you’re upset or angry about. He’d probably feel the same way in your shoes. But girls who are constantly negative about the majority of things that are going on in their lives can be a major turn offs to your boyfriend.
Talking about how awful things are all the time is just going to serve to bring him down, and guys who are down and bummed out around you are less likely to want sex. If you need to have a gripe-fest, call one of your friends or meet them for lunch.
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6. Stress at Work
The biggest turn offs for guys don’t just amount to things that are in your control. There are lots of issues that guys deal with themselves that can have an impact on their sex drive. If your man is experiencing lots of stress at work, he may not want to have sex as often as he usually does. This is one of those normal things that turn guys off, and you shouldn’t take it personally. While talking through it can help or offering him advice on how he can “fix” his situation at work, that can actually work against you and end up turning him off.
The great way for him to blow off steam from a stressful job is to have some good, old-fashioned guy time. Send him out to play pool with his buddies at the bar, or go out with your girlfriends and let him have a night alone to play video games or watch back-to-back episodes of his favorite show on Netflix.. He’ll be better able to cope with things at work he can’t change, and you may notice that his sex drive will kick back into gear as a result.
7. Low Testosterone
Testosterone is the fuel for a man’s sex drive, and it’s the chemical in his body that makes him a “man.” Low testosterone is one of the things that turn guys off and can make him feel tired and out of sorts, in addition to not wanting to have sex. If your man exhibits symptoms of low testosterone, ask if he’s willing to get it checked out by a doc.
Testosterone supplements can help bring his testosterone levels back to normal. Just make sure not to imply that there’s anything wrong with him when discussing heading to the doctor — it’s easy for men to get offended if they think their girl is suggesting something is wrong with their “manhood.” Low testosterone affects millions of men, and the treatment is as simple as taking a supplement each day along with maintaining a healthy lifestyle.
8. Outside Pressure
If a guy is getting a lot of outside pressure from others in regards to his life (and sex life!), it can easily cause a decrease in his desire to actually get down and dirty. Pressure from others can be one of the most problematic and hard to identify things that turn guys off, because it can be difficult for you to control what others say or think.
The perfect example of this is if his parents (or yours) are pressuring him for some life changing event to happen like marriage or a pregnancy. Feeling like everyone is watching and waiting can make him feel less like having sex, for fear of not being able to meet their expectations. Try your best to avoid pressuring him yourself, and let him know that you don’t care much about what others expect. A great way to do this is to show him that you’re more interested in just enjoying time with him, that having some sort of end goal to your relationship. Chances are, he’ll follow your lead.
But with that being said, you shouldn’t just be a doormat, doing everything your man wants. Try to find the middle ground.
9. His Own Insecurities
If a guy feels insecure about sex, he’s much less likely to take the initiative to have it. He may feel he is too small, or like he won’t be able to please you. He may have other insecurities, such as body issues or concerns about his sexual experience. If you think your man might be turned off as a result of his own insecurities, you can help him by bolstering his ego. Let him know how sexy you think he is, or how awesome the sex is (when you do have it). Make an effort to be genuine, and don’t go over the top with it. Be patient with him — it may take him some time to fully come around and accept that you think he’s awesome.
While it may seem that guys are horny all the time and have few conditions when it comes to sex, the truth is that there are things that turn guys off in very similar ways to girls. If your man seems to want to have sex with you less than he normally does, go through these 10 biggest turn offs for guys and find out if any of them describe what is going on in your relationship. Then do your best to ake the initiative to handle whatever issues may be causing his decreased libido, so you can once again enjoy a bangin’ sex life with your man.
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