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Imagine meeting the guy. The one who locks eyes with you and doesn’t look away, who you can see wants you as badly as you want him. Imagine his touch setting your skin on fire, and the world melting away so there’s only you and him and nothing else exists. Incredible, right?
Sexual chemistry can make it happen
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What is Sexual Chemistry Anyway?
Sexual chemistry is that sexual attraction you feel towards someone. It’s the key to passion, and it’s the key to a hot (and healthy!) relationship. Sometimes, sexual chemistry happens by accident. It just . . . happens.
Other times, you can control the level of passion your partner feels towards you. Here are several ways to increase your lover’s sexual attraction towards you and take things to the next level.
1. Share His Hobbies
Just like women, men have the things they love that most women don’t care for. That’s an awesome thing — he needs an outlet just like you do. However, men can find it extremely hot when a woman takes interest in a hobby of his, even if it’s just for a day.
You could play his favorite video game with him and make a wager that whoever wins gets a sexual favor from the other (15 great tips for pleasing him). Go fishing with him and wear his favorite sexy shorts, letting your legs dangle just so over the edge of the boat. Don’t be afraid to heat it up a little while doing something he loves. It will drive him absolutely wild!
2. Play (a Little) Hard to Get
It’s no secret that guys love the chase. Playing hard to get can make your man more interested in you, and can fire up his sexual attraction towards you. After all, men love challenges.
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Side note: 15 signs of sexual attraction to watch out for.
However, make sure you balance playing hard to get with rewarding his efforts. Playing too hard to get can have the opposite effect, and may cause him to lose interest. Be just a little coy, and let him put some effort into winning you over and even getting you in the bedroom.
Go deeper: 8 ways to play hard to get and have him chasing you.
3. Give Him Genuine Compliments
He loves hearing what you like about him, as long as it’s genuine. Compliment him if he looks good, or if he does something really well. Let him know that you’ve noticed his effort and you think it’s sexy. However, avoid complimenting him when you don’t mean it. He’ll smell your facade from a mile away and it will cheapen compliments that actually are genuine.
Learn more: 17 powerful compliments for guys.
4. Touch His Body When Talking to Him
Light him on fire with a simple touch when having a conversation with him. Touch his shoulder while you’re facing him and having a conversation, or sneak your hand under the dinner table to graze his inner thigh while you’re having a meal. Touch him throughout the day, especially while you’re speaking, to get him to crave your touch at the end of the night.
Related: 4 ways to arouse your man, fast.
5. Flirt With Him
Unfortunately in many relationships, flirting doesn’t go much farther past the initial dating stages. This is, in part, what causes a relationship to get stagnant and for the sexual chemistry to die. Make an effort to keep flirting with your man, no matter how long you’ve been together, these flirting tips will help. Smile, laugh at his jokes, and keep eye contact for just a few seconds longer than necessary.
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Brush up against him “accidentally.” He’ll respond in kind and before you know it, you’ll be flirting like you just met. Send him these 119 flirting messages or try playing these 9 fun texting games will help to keep things fun when you’re not there in person.
6. Wear Lingerie
Guys love it when a woman wears lingerie as much as a woman loves it when a man does chores.
Don’t let getting comfortable in a partnership keep you from wearing lacy bras and sexy panties just for him. Start by wearing a shirt that shows just a little of a sexy bustier to spark his imagination, and then let him get a full look at it later on when you’re both undressing. Giving him the idea that you just wear lingerie under your clothes when you’re out is incredibly hot, and it won’t be long before he’s clamoring to get the lingerie off of you! You’ll find some awesome tips on choosing the right lingerie.
7. Avoid Being Clingy
Being clingy is one of the biggest turn offs for a guy, and can totally kill any sexual chemistry that might be brewing between you and your man. Men can’t stand when a woman is super clingy, and will quickly lose interest in her, even if she’s the hottest dime piece he’s ever seen.
Avoid being clingy with your guy, and give him the space he needs to chase you a little bit. Don’t make a big deal when he wants to hang out with his friends, and don’t call him every five minutes to find out what he’s up to. Let him be his own man, and his sexual attraction for you will increase exponentially.
8. Bring on the PDA
Surprisingly, many guys enjoy PDA.
Now, they might not like marathon make out sessions in the grocery store, but a kiss that is just a few seconds longer than normal or a quick squeeze of his butt might be enough to get his blood heated up and flowing. Surprise your man with a little bit of PDA here and there to keep his mind on you and to keep his sexual attraction levels up.
Make it more intense: 22 kissing tips to drive him wild with desire.
9. Stay Healthy and Fit
Although many people don’t like to admit it, physical attraction is a large contributor to sexual chemistry. Humans are simply built that way.
Staying healthy and fit can be a great way to not only keep your own sex drive high and healthy, but will also ensure that your man stays physically attracted to you. When you look and feel your best, you’ll feel more attractive and he’ll instantly pick up on that. Plus, it’s just awesome when you and your man both can love the way you look with and without your clothes on.
10. Keep Doing New Things Together
When a relationship hits a rut, it’s easy for sexual chemistry to wane down to nothing. Part of what keeps a partnership so hot in the beginning is that you’re constantly exploring new things together. When the “newness” wears off a little, so can the sexual attraction.
Make an effort to plan new, exciting things for you and your beau to do together. Discovering new hobbies or engaging in new activities can refresh the sexual chemistry between you and make things hot all over again. Try using these 119 wild sex positions to start.
11. Smell Great
Scent is a huge aphrodisiac, and humans are attracted to the pheromones of the opposite sex. You can use scent to boost the sexual attraction between you and your man by showering using his favorite soap or shampoo, or by putting on his favorite perfume.
Be sure not to use too much though — you want your natural scent to be enhanced by the perfume, not covered up. Toss your hair when you’re near him, or stroke the side of his face so he catches a whiff of perfume on your wrist.
12. Take Him Dancing
Movement is another powerful aphrodisiac, and sexy dancing is sure to keep him thinking about you and wanting you. Take him out dancing to your favorite club, and ask the DJ to play your jam.
Show off your sultry moves and let him grind with you on the dance floor. Don’t be surprised if your surroundings melt away and it’s just you and him, moving, twisting and breathing heavily against each other.
13. Give Your Breasts a Boost
Men are hardwired to be attracted to women who appear to be good at carrying babies. This is mother nature at it’s finest, and there’s no use fighting it. Many men are attracted to large breasts, but have no idea why.
The truth is, men subconsciously see women with large breasts as able to adequately feed a baby. Whether a baby is in your future or not, you can play on a man’s hidden sexual desires by giving your breasts a boost. Wear a padded bra or a shirt that shows off your cleavage. Stand up straight and let your breasts be the focal point of your outfit.
14. Show a Little Skin
You don’t have to dress questionably just to attract a guy. But studies show that men who see a little more skin get a rush of testosterone, which makes them feel instant sexual attraction. Instead of wearing a miniskirt that puts your lady bits on display for everyone to see, make eye contact with him and lift a longer skirt up a little to give him a private show.
Not only will he get turned on (20 ways to turn him on fast), he’ll love that you’re doing it just for him and nobody else. Also, you may want to try these tips for dressing in a sexy way to really get him going.
Building Sexual Chemistry Can Be an Exciting Challenge
Sometimes building sexual chemistry with a man is a challenge. There’s no secret formula that sparks sexual attraction, and sometimes it ‘just happens’. However, the above tips can help get your guy into you, and keep him thinking about you. Although attraction can’t necessarily be forced, you can grow it amd cultivate it.
Figuring out what works and what doesn’t is part of the fun and excitement of building sexual attraction! Keep a mental record of what gets your guy hot and do those things frequently to keep the sexual chemistry between you intact for the duration of your relationship.
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I have a problem my husband can’t go longer then a min he suffers from premature ejaculation what can we do to keep our sex life interesting
This is a tough one Clarissa, but there are a number of things he can try. One is wearing an extra condom so he feels less sensitive. The other is using a numbing gel so that he becomes less sensitive.
I have been w my man for 3 years. We just bought a home together and are now talking about marriage. Everything about him is perfect except our physical relationship which is almost non existent. He had prostate surgery just months before we met. (Prostate removed) He was hopeful a lasting erection would happen in time but it hasn’t. As a result, we have never had penetration sex. I love him enough to find intimacy in other ways and we have. When it’s there, it’s good. I am really exhausted bringing up the subject w him that he says he will work on and change but it doesn’t happen. It has been 2 months since he has even touched me. I see red flags everywhere I turn. There is a part of me that thinks he could be gay and is using me to live out the rest of his years as a straight man. We are 59 and 62. It took him 4 dates to even kiss me which was like being in high school again. Initiating our version of sex is often awkward for him. I am not willing to sign up for a life without sex so would love to know what you think.
Sounds like a tricky situation Mary. Does he do anything that indicates he’s gay? For some men, they are almost defined by their penis. It can be incredibly crippling to their self-confidence if they can no longer get an erection.