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Have you ever noticed how dressing sexy with a new hair-do, a hot pair of shoes or a pretty dress can transform you from feeling average to beautiful? Isn’t it a wonderful feeling?
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Every woman loves to feel sexy and dressing sexy for your man has all of the benefits of making you feel gorgeous, coupled with all of the powerful benefits of making (& keeping) your man attracted to you. So with this in mind I want to show you how to dress sexy for YOUR man (not every man).
Discover What He Thinks is “Sexy”
Every man is different and finds different things attractive. I had always believed that men loved thongs and G-strings (thanks a bunch pornography!) and was surprised when I first discovered that my husband finds it really hot when I wear white cotton panties. With this in mind, it’s important to learn what your man finds sexy. Fortunately, there are some easy ways to do that. (The Sex Bucket List may also give you a few good ideas on what he may find sexy).
Ask Questions – Questions that are simple and pointed are best. Try to be playful and try not to make him feel pressured or on the spot. Here are some examples of questions to ask him:
What’s your favorite color of lingerie?
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Would you think it was hot if I dressed up as a school girl?
Do you like lacy panties or silky ones?
How would you like it if I put on one of your dress shirts with nothing underneath?
Pay Attention – Watch for what he looks at and responds to. Does he give you lots of compliments when you put a lot of effort into your make-up to go out? Does he express how sexy he thinks you are lounging in sweats? What catches his eye in magazines or on television? When you notice him eying up something or someone, innocently ask him what it was that caught his attention. Experiment with slightly different looks and outfits, and learn which ones he likes the best.
Bring Him Shopping – And try to keep it fun. Tell him you’d like to find some sexy things to wear for him, and ask for his help, advice and suggestions. Have him suggest where you might go and what you should buy, trying to discover what he finds sexy. Be playful during the trip and try on different things that he likes, maybe giving him a little show along the way to add some spice!
How To Dress Sexy For Him
You may be dressing sexy for him, but it’s essential that you feel sexy in whatever you are wearing (check out this article for more tips on how to be sexy for him). When I learned about my husband’s attraction to cotton panties, it took a bit of time to wrap my head around my “laundry day granny panties” as being something erotic to wear.
So my husband and I went and bought new cotton panties that I found a little sexier that we could both be happy with. It’s important that what you are buying and wearing fits you properly. And if you have insecurities about your body, (most of us do!) try to leave them at the door when learning how to dress sexy. This is pretty obvious, but I need to say it to make sure that I drive the point home: Buy and wear clothes that emphasize things that both of you love about your body, whether it’s your breasts, your legs or even your back; anything that makes you feel sexy. Your man will appreciate the effort you make for him, and his positive reactions will leave you glowing.
When you are dressing sexy for your man, there is one major thing to take into consideration: Are you in the bedroom or out of the house?
In the Bedroom
Variety is key (Just like I explain in the spicing up your sex life article). If dressing sexy for your man consistently means putting on one of your three pieces of lingerie, you may become a little boring monotonous. Having a range of things to wear and “sexy looks” will keep things interesting. Here are some ideas:
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Casual – Minimum make-up and low effort clothes, like a pair of bootie shorts or one of his dress shirts. Throwing on a pair of heels transforms almost any look you may regularly use into a suggestive “sexy look”. You’ll find that even strutting around nonchalantly in his favorite panties and bra will turn his head.
Lingerie – Moderate make-up, hair styled in some way (aiming for a put-together appearance), and a variety of lingerie; long and silky, or bright and tight, or lacy and girly, etc. Putting on the finishing touches like stockings and heels will elevate your look.
Dress-up – Appropriate make-up for your theme (eg. minimum and innocent for “school girl”, versus dark and slutty for “escort”), as well as hair styled appropriately…school girls usually come with pig-tails! There are assortments of different themes you can dress up as, but even here try to include plenty of diversity. You can find lots more sexy dress up ideas in this roleplaying article.
Props – One way to heighten your “sexy look” without having to have a specific theme is by purchasing fishnet one-piece outfits; much more exotic than lingerie. And of course, shoes!
Wearing nothing except a thong and some thigh-high boots is a look in itself. While the added height from your heels can intensify certain sex positions, use caution: I have many times nearly gouged my husband with my favorite stilettos!
Out of the House
Discretion is key. Take into consideration where you are going and what you will be doing. An outfit that may be hot for a night out dancing together will not appear sexy if you are having dinner with his boss. But you still have lots of opportunities to dress & look sexy!
If you are already wearing a nice dress or skirt for an evening out, amp up the heat by leaving behind your panties. This one is a little fun when you are at home, but lots of fun when you are out of the house. It works especially well if your evening includes an opportunity for him to sneak a hand up your leg (like the movies), and doesn’t have the same effect if you are somewhere it may make him feel awkward (like dinner at his parents’ house!).
Things to Avoid
While there isn’t necessarily anything you should avoid wearing (in the bedroom, at least) when learning how to dress sexy there are a few guidelines to dressing sexy for your man.
#1 At the end of the day YOU have to be comfortable. If you can’t breathe in your new corset or are likely to sprain an ankle in your new heels, then your sexy outfit won’t add that much excitement to your sex life.
#2 Try to be as adventurous as possible (this is something that I also talk about in the blow job tutorial video). But if you don’t feel very confident, here’s a tip: the first time you wear a new sexy outfit for your man, keep the lighting low. Just remember that pitch black won’t work because if he can’t see your outfit and you can’t see his response, you are kind of defeating the purpose.
#3 Along with comfort, try to keep in mind the accessibility of your outfit. Unless you’re experienced together with trying new outfits, do your best to avoid anything that will take you more than 5 minutes to get out of in order to have fun together…anything longer can really kill the mood.
#4 Don’t spend too long getting ready…The first time my husband and I experimented with role-playing, it was important to me that I get dressed up and feel as sexy as possible in order to really embrace my role. After an hour of applying (and reapplying) make-up to look like an escort and another half hour of finding the perfect skirt, top, matching nylons that didn’t have holes and shoes, I came out to find him nearly asleep on the couch.
Now, when I want to look and feel sexy, I try to get ready ahead of time by making sure I’m freshly showered and shaved, and that my hair is styled. I like to be really mindful of how I do my make-up, enhancing features but not being too heavy handed unless the situation calls for it. I try on my desired outfit early on, to make sure I won’t be scrambling last minute over a missing buckle or string, and to enjoy feeling sexy as well as anticipating the look on my husband’s face and the possible fun times later on.
When it comes to dressing sexy for your man, if you’re comfortable and willing to try new things that he likes, then try to have a range of sexy looks from casual and subtle to hot and racy. This way you’ll be able to maintain a high level of attraction and desire from your guy for pretty much ever.
Remember: Men are very visual creatures, and if there’s one thing sexier than you dressed up in something hot for your partner, it’s that layer of self-confidence you’ll wear when you feel sexy and want to show it off!
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hey sean,
i can’t wear high heels due to medical reasons, and guys love girls in heels what can i do to make the guy see me as sexy, as well as me feeling sexy even though i can’t wear heels?
Hi Avery,
Don’t worry about it at all! This really is a minor thing and not something that you should worry about. Yes, women in general look sexier when wearing heels, but your man is not going to lose attraction for you just because you’re not wearing heels! There are a ton of other things that you can do for him to boost your sex appeal. You’ll find some great ideas on the blog.
Could you maybe do the platform heels?
I’ve seen something high boots that are flat.
Hi Shawn I cant wear high heels on my date
May be you can ware an open toe and sides kitten heel black patent slingback and don’t forget to apply a beautiful color to your toe nailes?
I have the same problem. I have scoliosis and was told when I was younger not to wear heels so I never have. I’ve explained this to my boyfriend. He has accepted this. He did ask me to wear black shoes if possible. I do have a pair of flats I could wear
I have scholiosis and my feet are destroyed from ballet. I didn’t wear heels for 20 years and finally I said screw it and found some good fitting heels I never wear for more than a couple hours on date night or flat on my back… best sacrifice ever. Doctors don’t know everything. Heels on your foot when you aren’t even walking aren’t going to be as dire for most.
Love this article! I would agree that while my man always loves heels and short skirts and lingerie he also likes when I’m just in my workout clothes (Gotta love spandex). So important to find the balance between what he likes and what makes me feel sexy. When I’m confident and a bit more aggressive it always turns up the heat.
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Great article.
My man loves when I am in a football jersey and nothing else. I know when I wear that his mouth is watering! Fun for both of us….
I love the tips on this article.
I bought a one piece fishnet lingerie at local Lingerie shop to wear for someone I am head over heels about. I have never experimented this with past lovers, but felt this one is worth being extra kinky and sexy for. I am confident with my body but feel a bit intimidated on what his reaction will be. I am excited and cant wait for that day to come. My only issue is how to distract him while i quickly excuse myself to the restroom to change. Here in Texas its HOT and don’t find it comfortable to wear it under clothing.
Just say that you need to use the rest room…it’s that easy!
It’s s must try . I especially like the fishnet stockings , he likes red so I hope I get it . thanks Sean .
My wife dresses up for me quite a lot. We call it cha2. Nothing lites the fire for sex more than nylons, crotchless panties and some great shoes (cfms). Everything in your article was spot on. Thanks for telling people how to pull this off.
I love dressing for men a must heels tight jeans or mini skirts strapless brad
Hi there do guys find crotch less panties sexy and a turn on, I think they look nice, but they are not too comfy or practical to wear.
Thanks Tina
xx
Some guys love them, while others don’t care much for them.
This is such a helpful article. I know my boyfriend is super visual and absolutely loves fishnets. I wore them one time going out and he nearly lost his mind. SO I want to dress up for him but I’m just so anxious.. for really no reason.. he’s super nice. Anyway, I don’t really wear fishnets out for any reason at all, so I want to change into something before we have sex, but I don’t know how to do that without it feeling so unnatural. Also, I honestly have no idea what to wear on top with the fishnets! I know this sounds silly, but would love any feedback on this dilemma. Thanks!
About 1 year ago this happened : My wifes outfits turned me on so much that one night she had a gift for me along with what she had bought. She got me a silky string bikini panties, black with white Polk a dots in (xl). I thought it was a joke but she seriously asked me to wear them that night to see if I felt sexy in them.. long story short, I have bought 20 pairs for myself now and even tho I think it’s weird we both like it.
With ref to shoes etc, they really don’t have to be high, but cute in a simple way. The latest fashion isn’t always good either.
Ankle boots, we luv’em guys tend to hate them, unless you’re from the US, the same can be said for the cowboy style. Sometimes the simplest knee high flat boot can be all they need, but over the knee ALWAYS works!
Heels, cute and simple – not fussy, we get the detail – they don’t.
But the worse thing I ever did was take a guy shopping with the thought of finding out what made him tick. He just shut down.
Then a few week later we’re just out normal shopping and I was an isle or so away and noticed his (trying to be not seen) gaze at things.
It took a little coaxing, but we got there without the pressure.
Besides, you know when you go it right, you never make it as far as the bedroom!!
Hi Sean,
My husband says I don’t dress up enough, but working long hours. Coming home to a messy kitchen, and working overtime to pay bills. And cooking dinner at night and cleaning I just feel. Unappreciated, tried talking to him and it turned into an argument. I just went to another room I really don’t know what to do
Sadly, this is something that men just do not understand. (And I am the husband).
Show your husband THIS:
How would you feel if you had a neighbor who let their leaves blow into your yard, parked in front of your house blocking your driveway, and borrowed your tools without returning them? What would you do if that same neighbor asked if you wanted to go to a ball game with him? You’d say “NO”, right?
That’s how it is when you let your wife work overtime, do all the cleaning, cooking and laundry, and then you ask her to dress up and have sex. YOU are being that annoying neighbor. You are taking advantage of, and irritating, your wife, and then you come along with your hand out asking for something.
Believe me, if you put in some effort for your wife so she didn’t have to do all the work at home and was appreciated for what she does, she’d be happy to dress up for you.
The key here, is to MAKE HER HAPPY TO DO IT, not to “demand” or “expect” that she do it.
For 10 years i have tried to figure out what he likes, what gets him going, he always tells me nothing he just is not wired that way, in 10 years he has never told me i was sexy, pretty or even good looking at all nothing i do has ever turned him on he just rolls his eye’s when i try nov 8th is our 10 year anniversary..is this it for me ? Is this how it is? I’m 37 he is 46.
I am in a new relationship so we are just early on and I will also say we are both in our late 50’s so it’s really helpful advice!
Recently got rave reviews on the colour of my bra. I was wearing a g-string but decided to get a Brazilian wax rather than the neatly trimmed look I had. Both the bra and Brazilian were hot for him and I loved the compliments. As he was leaving I put on a red silk camisole which also got rave reviews. I think sometimes it is about making the effort….still have a few things left in my bag of tricks to try but really appreciated the pointed questions! I will try those next time
Hi trying to spice things up with the hubby.
I’ve ordered some crouchless knickers what would I wear these with I am pretty clueless when it comes to this sort of thing as we both just used to just doing it so to speak.
nice blog post! as I was finding how to dress sexy from last week to go to the bachelor party this year you resolve my problem thank you very much.
Thanks for this article! My man finds me sexy in regular wear, nothing too fancy or even skimpy..the last time we had sex, he asked me to wear one of my casual shirts that he unbuttoned slowly – it was nice and sexy..And all this while i had been out shopping for sexy lingerie. But I need to feel sexy too! It is very very important for me. How do we find a middle ground?
Talk to him and let him know this!
My boyfriend and I have been together for a bit now. He established some ground rules with sex, right in the beginning of our relationship. I am much kinkier than my boyfriend, but last week he bought me a thing of lingerie panties, just the panties. Honestly, I loved the surprise and knowing that he bought it because he wanted to see me in it, turned me on big time. He has never done anything like this before, and so I plan on giving him a nice surprise in my new lingerie.
My guy love’s me with clothes that cover’s my body. I really love revealing clothes is it ok that I still want to wear those. I also don’t enjoy sucking my guy’s dick
All sounds fine to me.
My boyfriend does’nt like me dressing sexy, I can’t even wear my mini skirts and shorts. I feel so not hot even during sex with him, it takes a lot to turn him on or make him scream
🙁 sorry to hear this Holly
What about pant and bra
It can be very sexy