In this introduction to role playing, you’ll learn all about what entices people to try out other personas in the bedroom and everything you need to know to make it go smoothly.
If you’re interested, you can head straight to the list of 42 role play ideas.
Why Sex Role Playing?
Like any sexual activity, there are a variety of reasons you might want to give role playing (sometimes known as “RP”) a try in the bedroom. Here are some of the most common reasons, and if you think we’ve forgotten an important one, let us know in the comments.
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1. You Can Explore Fantasies
Trying adult role play lets you explore fantasies that you might be on the fence about. Role playing isn’t exactly the same, but it can give you a taste of the people or activities. If it goes well, you might want to turn those fantasies into reality. And if it doesn’t, you can keep your fantasies safely in your imagination.
Related: The 10 Most Common Sexual Fantasies
Some people really enjoy finding new ways to be creative. Coming up with new things to try in bed, whether it’s role play ideas or something else, is one way to do that! And couples role play requires you to get creative with your partner, which makes it even better.
2. You Can Explore Your Personality
Whether on a stage or in the bedroom, playing a role lets you experiment with other parts of your personality. Sometimes a costume or sexual role playing script enables you to let go and do or say things that would otherwise be out of character.
Just like with fantasies, you get to temporarily try on new personalities. Through role playing, you might realize that you do have a dominant side or want to explore your submission. Or you might have a little fun in the moment but want to return to the “normal” you after trying out some the role play ideas you’re about to learn.
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The great thing about role playing is that there is nearly an endless array of roles you can test drive! If one role playing idea doesn’t work, simply move on to the next one.
3. You Can Be with “Other” People
Just because you’re in a monogamous relationship doesn’t mean you don’t wonder what it would be like to share romantic or sexual experiences with someone else.
Role playing during sex lets you do just that without cheating because you and your partner play those roles. This is one way you can be with your celebrity crush, an authority figure, or even a nameless stranger for the night.
Of course, there are other ways you can satisfy this curiosity, including swinging, polyamory, or cuckoldry. But not everyone is comfortable with acting out those things in real life, which is where role playing can help.
4. You Can Spice Up Your Love Life
Are you a little bored in the bedroom? It’s more common than you think, especially if you’ve been with the same person for a while. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Role playing certainly isn’t the only remedy to a stale sex life, but it’s definitely one of the things we suggest you try if you’re looking for ideas.
Check this out for more: 7 tips to spice up your sex life
Not only does playing a different role up the seuxal ante, but you can try role play ideas that include certain activities or items to really increase the intensity. For example, you could be a teacher who uses corporal punishment on a naughty student, or your partner could be in law enforcement and handcuff you for breaking the law.
5. You Get Out of Your Head
If you struggle to stay in the moment during sex, perhaps because you’re self-conscious about your body, focused on unwashed dishes, or simply have an anxious mind, role playing might be one possible solution. Because you have to focus on playing your role, there’s less room in your brain for other thoughts.
Role playing isn’t a cure all, but it can be one tool in your arsenal against anxiety and intrusive thoughts.
Related Podcast: Better Sex Through Mindfulness with Dr. Lori Brotto
6. You Can Heal Trauma
Believe it or not, some people have used sexy role playing and BDSM role play, which often involves taking on complementary roles in the bedroom, as a useful tool to explore trauma including sexual trauma. Some people call this “trauma play” .
Now when we say that, we don’t mean you can heal all your trauma through sexual role play. However, along with therapy and other tools, it may help you cope with things you’ve experienced.
Find a trauma-informed and sex-positive therapist to help you determine if and how role playing might help you to generate safe role playing ideas. And don’t forget to make sure your partner fully consents to their involvement in these sexy scenarios.
This brings us to our next point.
Ground Rules for Great Bedroom Role Play
So you and your partner are excited to try out some sexual role play ideas? Great! Before you begin, it helps to set a few ground rules. This ensures that no one takes anything too far and if things take an unpleasant turn, either of you can easily halt things.
The first piece of guidance we offer is to talk about what you imagine the scene looking like.
- What do you want to happen?
- What do you prefer to avoid?
You certainly don’t need to know exactly how it will go, but a general idea helps you figure out how to play your roles and steer clear of unwanted experiences.
Safe words – Next, consider using a safeword. Safewords are typically used on BDSM as a way to stop a scene. While role playing, saying “No” or “Stop” may not always work, especially if the role you’re playing might involve saying “No” when you don’t really mean it. So pick a word that’s easy to remember and say if you need a break.
Traffic light system – Some people use the traffic light system during kinky role play. Green means everything’s great, Yellow means you need to slow down or don’t want things to get any more intense, and Red means to stop immediately. It also helps if you check in with your partner. A simple “Is this okay?” goes a long way!
Respect – Of course it goes without saying that both of you should be into the role playing idea, or your specific roles. If your partner doesn’t want to try it or doesn’t like it when you suggest Daddy/daughter, don’t push them. Similarly, you have the right to stand your ground if someone is trying to coerce you to do anything you don’t want to.
Give and take – You might negotiate different ideas if your ideal role playing scenario is different from your partner’s. A little give-and-take lets you both get what you want. And who knows? You might wind up liking something your partner suggests more than you think!
Talk & then talk some more – Finally, you should talk about how things went after your sexy scenario. Did you enjoy it or not? Did anything surprise you? Would you do it again or would you rather try other sexual role play ideas? If so, would you change anything? These talks ensure you and your partner are on the same page.
Because talking about sex is important but isn’t easy, we wrote the guide to sexual communication.
The Realities of Dirty Role Playing
When it comes down to it, you never know exactly how role playing will go, even if it’s not your first time or if you were really excited about a particular role play idea. Keep the following in mind before you go into your scene; otherwise, you might be sorely disappointed.
Keep an open mind – What is role playing in the bedroom if not a type of acting? RP doesn’t need to be serious. In fact, many ideas can seem a bit ridiculous. Keep an open mind, however, and you might just enjoy yourself.
It’s okay to laugh – Some people take sex way too seriously and never let themselves laugh. But role playing is, well, playing, and you should let yourself have fun, even if that means laughing because you have no idea what to say or do next. Then, you can return to your role play game.
Don’t force it – If a particular idea or role doesn’t speak to you, find one that does. You and your partner might need to brainstorm a bit to find something that works for both of you, but it’s better than trying to make something work that’s simply a poor fit.
Role play different versions of yourself – Work off of your existing personality to create sexual role playing character ideas. This is often easier and more natural. It’s also a way to avoid cliches. So instead of pretending to be someone else entirely during your role play games, act how you would be if you were a teacher, student, boss, pizza delivery person, sex worker, doctor, or other role.
Use props – Props can make your interactions more believable, especially a blindfold. Think beyond costumes when playing a role. Change your voice, do your makeup differently, or even wear a different scent than you normally do to really get into the role.
When role playing doesn’t work – Know when to end your role playing sex game. Sometimes it just doesn’t work. That doesn’t mean you can’t just have regular, fun sex.
If adult role play doesn’t sound up your alley, check out these other sex games for couples.
Kink & BDSM Role Play
Before we get to the 42 role play examples below, we want to mention a couple types of role playing. We’ve already mentioned how role playing and BDSM often go hand-in-hand, but that doesn’t mean that all role play games are kinky role play. It can be pretty tame or “vanilla” if you stick to more traditional roles and sex acts.
You can also focus on romantic role play if you want to feel close to your partner. However, you can add kinky elements to your role playing if you’d like.
Related: 23 kinky sex ideas
BDSM is a subset of kink that tends to involve power exchange. The acronym stands for
- Bondage and Discipline
- Dominance and Submission
- Sadism and Masochism
You can choose from one or all of these activities if they appeal to you. There’s no wrong way to do BDSM as long as it’s consensual and safe.
Many people consider dominance and submission a type of role playing in itself. It’s just that you play yourself in either a dominant or submissive role. This may involve special titles, names, and prescribed behavior.
It’s pretty easy to see how different role playing scenarios can include the other elements of BDSM, too. You can find ways to work spanking, tying someone up in bondage, femdom ideas, humiliation, making or fulfilling commands, and giving or receiving pain into your role playing or seek out roles specifically because they involve certain elements of BDSM. We’ve included some great BDSM ideas in the role playing ideas section below.
You might even get to take a sexy shopping trip for the perfect costumes, accessories, bondage gear, or other goodies to make your scene come to life or help you get the most out of your role play ideas.
Check out our BDSM guide for more.
Role Playing Over Phone and Text
Whether you’re in a long-distance relationship, social distancing, or simply love sexting, you might want to incorporate role playing into your interactions. It’s a little different than when you’re face to face with your partner, but technology gives you plenty of options!
- Video Chat might be the easiest because you can dress up, use props, and both see and hear your partner. But it might not work well if your connection is slow or if you have roommates. Learn how to have sex over video chat.
- Phone calls work well if you can use your voice and the power of imagination to imagine your interaction with your partners. One of the perks of role playing this way is that you don’t have to dress up or physically act out the scene, so you might feel less pressure than when video chatting. If you’re extra creative, you can even use sound effects to make it feel more real. Discover how to have incredible phone sex.
- Texting offers several options when it comes to role playing. You can “act out” your actions via text, exchange sexy selfies or sound clips, or simply describe what you would do when playing those roles. For many people, sexting is a great form of foreplay. You may even want to try these ideas for being dominant over text. If that’s not your style, check out these other flirty text games that can also work as role playing ideas.
It’s harder for some people to get into a sexy role play over the phone, but it can be tons of fun if you’re willing to try. Give one of the role playing ideas for couples below a try the next time you’re texting.
42 Erotic Role Play Ideas
Below is the gigantic list of 42 role play ideas you can try. These role play examples might inspire you to come up with your own creative role play scenes, too!
1. Law Enforcement and Suspect/Driver
Whether you’re playing a zealous detective who is interrogating a suspect or you’re a speeding driver who has to convince the officer to let you go, there’s plenty of room to make this role play scenario work for you. Plus, you can get creative with costumes, handcuffs, and other props with this sexual role playing idea.
2. Sex Worker and Client
There are so many role play ideas to choose from here. Within the broader category of sex worker, you have adult cam models, strippers, professional dominants and submissives, and prostitutes.
This means your role playing can take place in various locations and use different outfits depending on the specific role you choose. Perhaps you slip a “stranger” your key card in the hotel bar after offering your services or work out the price over the phone before “meeting” for the first time. These roles naturally let you negotiate and set boundaries, too.
3. Masseuse and Client
Break out your oils, incense, and soothing music because it’s time to get your hands all over your partner, and we do mean all over. Not only do you give–or get–a relaxing sensual massage, but things can take a naughty turn if you decide to make it a happy ending massage, a taboo fantasy.
4. Yoga/Fitness Instructor and Student
It starts with the instructor helping you correct your pose so that you’ll get the most out of your exercise. Perhaps you suggest one-on-one sessions because you need extra help.
Before you know it, the attraction and closeness take over, and you’re in a different kind of position. You don’t need a ton of imagination to make this role play idea come to life.
5. Boss and Employee
You know the stereotype: a boss that’s to die for and a secretary that can’t help but be eye candy. No matter which side you play, you get a chance to cross boundaries and experience getting frisky in an extremely taboo setting. You don’t have to go with the typical examples of boss and secretary, and no one will risk their job while doing it because it’s all pretend.
You’re in a bar or even the grocery store. The location doesn’t matter. What does matter is that you notice one another and lock eyes. You can’t deny the sexual chemistry. So then you slip off to the bathroom, your car, or even a hotel room to trade sexual favors with someone whose name you don’t even know. Of course, after all is said and done, that stranger is still someone who you feel safe and comfortable with.
7. Extreme Halloween
This role play scenario can go down in one several ways. One or both of you are costumed so well that the other doesn’t realize who they’ve having sex with, your partner is covered up so well that you can’t be sure it’s really them, or you use costomes to pretend you’re having sex with a stranger. Either way, it’s a sexy good time!
Wrestling can’t help but be sexy, which is why so many people love this role play idea. Your bodies are just too close together. You can hear and feel your partner’s breath. Soon enough, you’re moving in a different way, not to win the match but to experience pleasure or give your partner pleasure. You can lose your clothing if you want penetration, or keep it on and enjoy a little dry humping.
9. Virgin and Experienced Partner
One of you is naive and inexperienced, the other offers to show you the ropes, to gently ease you into sex. With elements of teaching and power exchange, this makes for a hot scenario.
10. Master/Mistress and slave
What would you do if your partner had to obey your every command? If you could punish them physically for disobeying? Here’s your chance to find out. Whether you instruct your partner to eat you out or clean out the garage, you can have a fun time with this role. Make sure to discuss boundaries and safewords before getting into this kinky role play, however.
11. Political/Business Bribe
You’re a powerful politician or business person, and someone wants you to make a policy or legal change that benefits them. They’re willing to do anything to get what they want, and the way they look, talk, and act proves it. Will you take advantage? Try this role play idea to find out.
Imagine this: you show up at the office or home of someone whose reputation, career, and family would be ruined if the information you have on them went public. They might be skimming off the top or have cheated on their partner.
You’ve got the paperwork, photos, or recording to prove it. The only way you won’t leak it to the press? If they satisfy your sexual whims. Bonus if you use actual “incriminating” photos from your previous sexual escapades or role play sex games!
13. Babysitter and Parent
Maybe the older parent gets a moment alone with the babysitter on the drive home and cannot help but comment on how sexy the young adult is. Maybe something sultry starts up over text. You can even switch up the traditional role play idea by having the babysitter try to throw themselves at the parent who does everything in their power to resist the advances.
14. I Shouldn’t
The ring on your finger tells everyone that you’re married. Yet, the attractive stranger in the bar or other public place takes it as a personal challenge to convince you to stray. How long can you resist their advances?
15. Where’s My Money
The bills are due, but your tenant or client doesn’t have money. You’re willing to let it slide just this once if they’re willing to repay you some other way.
16. (Porn) Director and Actor
You have the power to make your partner a star as long as they give you their all and take your direction willingly as you go over lines. But that’s not all they’ll be taking. You can set up your phone to make it look like you’re recording or actually record your hot role play scene if that makes it even steamier.
Place a screen or curtain between you and your partner. One plays the priest, and the other is there for confession. You want to repent for your sexual sins, but just talking about and hearing them is a turn-on.
The priest might instruct the other to repent by doing something naughty or might be so turned on that they have to touch themselves right there while the other talks. You can “leave” the booth after some satisfying mutual masturbation or commit a different sin when you have sex.
18. Strip Poker
This couples role play starts as a fun game, but as you lose clothes, it’s hard to resist temptation. Someone gets aroused, perhaps visibly so. Before you know it, you’re fucking on the poker table. You can set it up so you know who the loser will be or let lady luck get involved by playing for real.
This role play idea isn’t for those struggling with real trust or jealousy issues. But if you’re secure, you can enjoy yourself as you reclaim your partner who has just admitted to cheating on you. Remind them that they’re yours and can’t get better. Plus, you can you can use some BDSM punishments if you’re into that idea.
A classic role play idea: you invite them into your home to fix the plumbing or some other issue. As you watch them work, you’re turned on by their physical prowess and knowledge. You can’t help but try to seduce them, especially if your partner hasn’t been paying attention to you lately. Alternatively, the worker could come onto you, perhaps forcefully.
21. Step-parent and Step-child
You’re not actually related, but there’s still a power differential, and you don’t want to get caught. Perhaps one of you walks in on the other in the shower, and things escalate from there.
Read More: Calling Him “Daddy” in Bed
Don’t resist your animal nature, let it take over, instead. You can go all out with costumes and props or keep it simple. Both of you might be animals, or one might be human and interact with their furry friend naughtily. This definitely leans toward fantasy role play, so it’s not for everyone.
Related: Pet Play 101
23. Doctor and Patient
Most people don’t like wearing a paper gown at the doctor’s office, but it’s a bit different when role playing and your partner is the sexy “doctor.” You can get specific by playing the gynecologist or proctologist administering a very intimate exam. Props can make this couple’s role play extra realistic.
24. Sex Robot
Here’s a different type of role play you may never have considered! Who doesn’t want a robot programmed to give you pleasure? Say the right command, or press the button on the “app” and the robot has to do what you want with mechanical precision and without saying a word.
25. Firefighter and Survivor
Who hasn’t fantasized about this sexual role playing idea? The firefighter saves you from a fire or your cat from a tree. You’re so grateful and flooded with emotions that you kiss him to thank him. But it doesn’t stop there.
26. Guard and Inmate
Here’s a pretty common role playing idea. One of you has the keys and all the power; the other has to follow the rules or risk punishment. Include room and body searches to get hands-on.
27. TSA and Traveler
See where this role play idea takes you. The X-ray machine is down, and the only way you can get on your flight is if the TSA agent frisks you. Their hands on your body turn you on, and you can’t help but moan softly. They test the waters by moving their hands between your legs, and you don’t stop them.
28. Mile High Club
Are you so horny that you take a passenger behind the curtain or into the bathroom to get off 35,000 miles above sea level (some people say planes are one of the best places to have sex, after all)? Maybe you’re a pilot who turns on autopilot while the flight attendant gets on their knees.
Some people say vampire myths are metaphors for virginity. Either way, it makes for sexy role play and offers lots of costume and role playing ideas. Get close enough for a little biting. You can incorporate fake blood or some pinpricks if you’re into bloodplay. Some vampires are even hypnotic, so you could try a little hypnokink with your dirty role play.
30. New In Town
They’re just moved here, perhaps they’re a foreign exchange student with a sexy accent. You offer to show them around to the hottest spots or common errand locations. After spending some time together, sparks just fly. There’s a lot of room for creativity when it comes to this sexual role playing idea.
31. Peep Show
One of you is the voyeur who watches the other–through the window or a crack in the door. The other gets undressed or even masturbates, unaware that they are putting on a show. Of course, because it’s couples role play, you get to satisfy that exhibitionist streak, too.
The hired help is there to tend to your every need, so why would your sexual needs be any different? When they’re done serving lunch, they can service you another way. You can definitely come up with some sexual role playing character ideas to go along with this.
Breeding is definitely a more unusual fetish than some. Those who enjoy it often incorporate ejaculating inside one partner (a “creampie”), pregnancy, and giving birth. Forced breeding definitely makes you feel powerful. If you don’t want to risk getting pregnant by having sex without a condom, some sex toys squirt, or you can even “artificially inseminate” a partner with a baster or similar tool.
34. Your Favorite Superhero
Combine cosplay with erotic role play when you dress up as your favorite superhero. It’s a treasure trove of role play ideas for the bedroom. Perhaps you’re Wonder Woman who uses her Lasso of Truth to get a prisoner to admit how much they’re attracted to her. Figure out how your favorite character would be in bed to play them–or have your partner play them so you can enjoy it.
35. Hostage Situation
What would you do if you were being held hostage and wanted to escape? Most people would say “anything,” even if it means having sex with their kidnapper. If you want to add a more realistic “abduction,” you can kidnap your partner from the parking lot or driveway. However, you run the risk of someone seeing you and calling the cops.
There are so many role play ideas involving neighbors: the teenager and the sexy older neighbor, spotting your “neighbor” sunbathing topless/nude, or repaying a favor with sex, just to name a few. If you can actually borrow your neighbor’s house (or have a guest house available), it adds to the realism.
37. Alien Abduction
Everyone’s heard the urban legends about aliens abducting people and probing them anally. It’s certainly a good use of butt plugs. But what else might aliens do with a human? Inspect them physically? Perform tests? Take photos or record videos?
If you’re not okay with actual cuckoldry, you can role play it to get a taste. One partner can play the other man using a cock sleeve or sex toy, disguising their voice, and even wearing different cologne.
Technology makes this kinky role play game even more believable. You can set up a video call and pretend your partner is watching you while you pleasure yourself with a dildo and pretend it’s another man over the phone.
39. Nun/Clergy Led Astray
They’ve pledged to live a life free of Earthly pleasures, but they can’t resist your wiles. You give them a taste of carnal desires, and they can’t help but surrender. There are tons of costume ideas for this role play situation, too.
40. Royalty and Concubine
This fantasy role play has historic roots. Kings and queens often took royal consorts. They couldn’t marry, but their dalliances were sometimes well known. As a concubine, you get the royal treatment with none of the responsibility.
41. Driver and Passenger
There are all sorts of sexy scenarios you can play where someone is a driver and the other person is a passenger. The obvious role play idea puts the driver in a position of control when they discover their passenger can’t pay the fare.
Or one of you could touch yourself while the other listens (and sometimes watches). You could even combine it with kidnapping by driving your passenger someplace and having your way with them.
42. Teacher and Student
This one’s a classic for a reason. You can play with impossibly short skirts and ties and incorporate corporal punishment such as spanking to teach a lesson. Make it real with an actual chalkboard and chalk!
Related: How to Spank Your Husband
What About Consensual Nonconsent?
Any role playing game where you’ve previously given consent for your partner to take you falls into this category. Some people might call this “rape” role play, but that word can be triggering for those with trauma experiences.
Consensual nonconsent, or CNC, can certainly be fun to resist or to wake up to your partner “molesting” you, but make sure to use safewords and that no physical restraint actually hurts anyone.
Now It’s Your Turn
Maybe our list of role play ideas for couples inspired you to come up with your own? Let us know in the comments section!
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