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In this introduction to role playing, youâll learn all about what entices people to try out other personas in the bedroom and everything you need to know to make it go smoothly. If youâre interested, you can head straight to the list of 42 role play ideas.
Why Sex Role Playing?
Like any sexual activity, there are a variety of reasons you might want to give role playing (sometimes known as âRPâ) a try in the bedroom. Here are some of the most common reasons, and if you think weâve forgotten an important one, let us know in the comments.
Side note: If you are currently struggling to orgasm during sex or masturbation, then you may want to learn about the Easy Orgasm Solution. It begins by teaching you the techniques to orgasm easily and consistently. Then you'll learn how to have multiple vaginal and full body orgasms during sex and masturbation. You can find out more here.
1. You Can Explore Fantasies
Trying adult role play lets you explore fantasies that you might be on the fence about. Role playing isnât exactly the same, but it can give you a taste of the people or activities. If it goes well, you might want to turn those fantasies into reality. And if it doesnât, you can keep your fantasies safely in your imagination.
Related: The 10 Most Common Sexual Fantasies
Some people really enjoy finding new ways to be creative. Coming up with new things to try in bed, whether itâs role play ideas or something else, is one way to do that! And couples role play requires you to get creative with your partner, which makes it even better.
2. You Can Explore Your Personality
Whether on a stage or in the bedroom, playing a role lets you experiment with other parts of your personality. Sometimes a costume or sexual role playing script enables you to let go and do or say things that would otherwise be out of character.
Just like with fantasies, you get to temporarily try on new personalities. Through role playing, you might realize that you do have a dominant side or want to explore your submission. Or you might have a little fun in the moment but want to return to the ânormalâ you after trying out some the role play ideas youâre about to learn.
If you want to give your man back-arching, toe-curling, screaming orgasms that will keep him sexually addicted to you, then you'll find them in my private and discreet newsletter. You'll also learn the 5 dangerous & "dumb" sex mistakes that turn him off and how to avoid them. Get it here.
The great thing about role playing is that there is nearly an endless array of roles you can test drive! If one role playing idea doesnât work, simply move on to the next one.
3. You Can Be with âOtherâ People
Just because youâre in a monogamous relationship doesnât mean you donât wonder what it would be like to share romantic or sexual experiences with someone else.
Role playing during sex lets you do just that without cheating because you and your partner play those roles. This is one way you can be with your celebrity crush, an authority figure, or even a nameless stranger for the night.
Of course, there are other ways you can satisfy this curiosity, including swinging, polyamory, or cuckoldry. But not everyone is comfortable with acting out those things in real life, which is where role playing can help.
4. You Can Spice Up Your Love Life
Are you a little bored in the bedroom? Itâs more common than you think, especially if youâve been with the same person for a while. But it doesnât have to be that way. Role playing certainly isnât the only remedy to a stale sex life, but itâs definitely one of the things we suggest you try if youâre looking for ideas.
Check this out for more: 7 tips to spice up your sex life
Not only does playing a different role up the seuxal ante, but you can try role play ideas that include certain activities or items to really increase the intensity. For example, you could be a teacher who uses corporal punishment on a naughty student, or your partner could be in law enforcement and handcuff you for breaking the law.
5. You Get Out of Your Head
If you struggle to stay in the moment during sex, perhaps because youâre self-conscious about your body, focused on unwashed dishes, or simply have an anxious mind, role playing might be one possible solution. Because you have to focus on playing your role, thereâs less room in your brain for other thoughts.
Role playing isnât a cure all, but it can be one tool in your arsenal against anxiety and intrusive thoughts.
Related Podcast: Better Sex Through Mindfulness with Dr. Lori Brotto
6. You Can Heal Trauma
Believe it or not, some people have used sexy role playing and BDSM role play, which often involves taking on complementary roles in the bedroom, as a useful tool to explore trauma including sexual trauma. Some people call this âtrauma playâ [1].
Now when we say that, we donât mean you can heal all your trauma through sexual role play. However, along with therapy and other tools, it may help you cope with things youâve experienced.
Find a trauma-informed and sex-positive therapist to help you determine if and how role playing might help you to generate safe role playing ideas. And donât forget to make sure your partner fully consents to their involvement in these sexy scenarios.
This brings us to our next point.
Ground Rules for Great Bedroom Role Play
So you and your partner are excited to try out some sexual role play ideas? Great! Before you begin, it helps to set a few ground rules. This ensures that no one takes anything too far and if things take an unpleasant turn, either of you can easily halt things.
The first piece of guidance we offer is to talk about what you imagine the scene looking like.
- What do you want to happen?
- What do you prefer to avoid?
You certainly donât need to know exactly how it will go, but a general idea helps you figure out how to play your roles and steer clear of unwanted experiences.
Safe words – Next, consider using a safeword. Safewords are typically used on BDSM as a way to stop a scene. While role playing, saying âNoâ or âStopâ may not always work, especially if the role youâre playing might involve saying âNoâ when you donât really mean it. So pick a word thatâs easy to remember and say if you need a break.
Traffic light system – Some people use the traffic light system during kinky role play. Green means everythingâs great, Yellow means you need to slow down or donât want things to get any more intense, and Red means to stop immediately. It also helps if you check in with your partner. A simple âIs this okay?â goes a long way!
Respect – Of course it goes without saying that both of you should be into the role playing idea, or your specific roles. If your partner doesnât want to try it or doesnât like it when you suggest Daddy/daughter, donât push them. Similarly, you have the right to stand your ground if someone is trying to coerce you to do anything you donât want to.
Give and take –Â You might negotiate different ideas if your ideal role playing scenario is different from your partnerâs. A little give-and-take lets you both get what you want. And who knows? You might wind up liking something your partner suggests more than you think!
Talk & then talk some more – Finally, you should talk about how things went after your sexy scenario. Did you enjoy it or not? Did anything surprise you? Would you do it again or would you rather try other sexual role play ideas? If so, would you change anything? These talks ensure you and your partner are on the same page.
Because talking about sex is important but isnât easy, we wrote the guide to sexual communication.
The Realities of Dirty Role Playing
When it comes down to it, you never know exactly how role playing will go, even if itâs not your first time or if you were really excited about a particular role play idea. Keep the following in mind before you go into your scene; otherwise, you might be sorely disappointed.
Keep an open mind –Â What is role playing in the bedroom if not a type of acting? RP doesnât need to be serious. In fact, many ideas can seem a bit ridiculous. Keep an open mind, however, and you might just enjoy yourself.
Itâs okay to laugh – Some people take sex way too seriously and never let themselves laugh. But role playing is, well, playing, and you should let yourself have fun, even if that means laughing because you have no idea what to say or do next. Then, you can return to your role play game.
Donât force it –Â If a particular idea or role doesnât speak to you, find one that does. You and your partner might need to brainstorm a bit to find something that works for both of you, but itâs better than trying to make something work thatâs simply a poor fit.
Role play different versions of yourself – Work off of your existing personality to create sexual role playing character ideas. This is often easier and more natural. Itâs also a way to avoid cliches. So instead of pretending to be someone else entirely during your role play games, act how you would be if you were a teacher, student, boss, pizza delivery person, sex worker, doctor, or other role.
Use props – Props can make your interactions more believable, especially a blindfold. Think beyond costumes when playing a role. Change your voice, do your makeup differently, or even wear a different scent than you normally do to really get into the role.
When role playing doesnât work – Know when to end your role playing sex game. Sometimes it just doesnât work. That doesnât mean you canât just have regular, fun sex.
If adult role play doesnât sound up your alley, check out these other sex games for couples.
Kink & BDSM Role Play
Before we get to the 42 role play examples below, we want to mention a couple types of role playing. Weâve already mentioned how role playing and BDSM often go hand-in-hand, but that doesnât mean that all role play games are kinky role play. It can be pretty tame or âvanillaâ if you stick to more traditional roles and sex acts.
You can also focus on romantic role play if you want to feel close to your partner. However, you can add kinky elements to your role playing if youâd like.
Related:Â 23 kinky sex ideas
BDSM is a subset of kink that tends to involve power exchange. The acronym stands for
- Bondage and Discipline
- Dominance and Submission
- Sadism and Masochism
You can choose from one or all of these activities if they appeal to you. Thereâs no wrong way to do BDSM as long as itâs consensual and safe.
Related: 8 BDSM Rules to Keep It Safe, Sane, and Crazy Kinky
Many people consider dominance and submission a type of role playing in itself. Itâs just that you play yourself in either a dominant or submissive role. This may involve special titles, names, and prescribed behavior.
Itâs pretty easy to see how different role playing scenarios can include the other elements of BDSM, too. You can find ways to work spanking, tying someone up in bondage, femdom ideas, humiliation, making or fulfilling commands, and giving or receiving pain into your role playing or seek out roles specifically because they involve certain elements of BDSM. Weâve included some great BDSM ideas in the role playing ideas section below.
You might even get to take a sexy shopping trip for the perfect costumes, accessories, bondage gear, or other goodies to make your scene come to life or help you get the most out of your role play ideas.
Check out our BDSM guide for more.
Role Playing Over Phone and Text
Whether youâre in a long-distance relationship, social distancing, or simply love sexting, you might want to incorporate role playing into your interactions. Itâs a little different than when youâre face to face with your partner, but technology gives you plenty of options!
- Video Chat might be the easiest because you can dress up, use props, and both see and hear your partner. But it might not work well if your connection is slow or if you have roommates. Learn how to have sex over video chat.
- Phone calls work well if you can use your voice and the power of imagination to imagine your interaction with your partners. One of the perks of role playing this way is that you donât have to dress up or physically act out the scene, so you might feel less pressure than when video chatting. If youâre extra creative, you can even use sound effects to make it feel more real. Discover how to have incredible phone sex.
- Texting offers several options when it comes to role playing. You can âact outâ your actions via text, exchange sexy selfies or sound clips, or simply describe what you would do when playing those roles. For many people, sexting is a great form of foreplay. You may even want to try these ideas for being dominant over text. If thatâs not your style, check out these other flirty text games that can also work as role playing ideas.
Itâs harder for some people to get into a sexy role play over the phone, but it can be tons of fun if youâre willing to try. Give one of the role playing ideas for couples below a try the next time youâre texting.
42 Erotic Role Play Ideas
Below is the gigantic list of 42 role play ideas you can try. These role play examples might inspire you to come up with your own creative role play scenes, too!
1. Law Enforcement and Suspect/Driver
Whether youâre playing a zealous detective who is interrogating a suspect or youâre a speeding driver who has to convince the officer to let you go, thereâs plenty of room to make this role play scenario work for you. Plus, you can get creative with costumes, handcuffs, and other props with this sexual role playing idea.
2. Sex Worker and Client
There are so many role play ideas to choose from here. Within the broader category of sex worker, you have adult cam models, strippers, professional dominants and submissives, and prostitutes.
This means your role playing can take place in various locations and use different outfits depending on the specific role you choose. Perhaps you slip a âstrangerâ your key card in the hotel bar after offering your services or work out the price over the phone before âmeetingâ for the first time. These roles naturally let you negotiate and set boundaries, too.
Learn how to strip and give your man a lap dance.
3. Masseuse and Client
Break out your oils, incense, and soothing music because itâs time to get your hands all over your partner, and we do mean all over. Not only do you give–or get–a relaxing sensual massage, but things can take a naughty turn if you decide to make it a happy ending massage, a taboo fantasy.
4. Yoga/Fitness Instructor and Student
It starts with the instructor helping you correct your pose so that youâll get the most out of your exercise. Perhaps you suggest one-on-one sessions because you need extra help.
Before you know it, the attraction and closeness take over, and youâre in a different kind of position. You donât need a ton of imagination to make this role play idea come to life.
5. Boss and Employee
You know the stereotype: a boss thatâs to die for and a secretary that canât help but be eye candy. No matter which side you play, you get a chance to cross boundaries and experience getting frisky in an extremely taboo setting. You donât have to go with the typical examples of boss and secretary, and no one will risk their job while doing it because itâs all pretend.
6. Strangers
Youâre in a bar or even the grocery store. The location doesnât matter. What does matter is that you notice one another and lock eyes. You canât deny the sexual chemistry. So then you slip off to the bathroom, your car, or even a hotel room to trade sexual favors with someone whose name you donât even know. Of course, after all is said and done, that stranger is still someone who you feel safe and comfortable with.
7. Extreme Halloween
This role play scenario can go down in one several ways. One or both of you are costumed so well that the other doesnât realize who theyâve having sex with, your partner is covered up so well that you canât be sure itâs really them, or you use costomes to pretend youâre having sex with a stranger. Either way, itâs a sexy good time!
8. Wrestling
Wrestling canât help but be sexy, which is why so many people love this role play idea. Your bodies are just too close together. You can hear and feel your partnerâs breath. Soon enough, youâre moving in a different way, not to win the match but to experience pleasure or give your partner pleasure. You can lose your clothing if you want penetration, or keep it on and enjoy a little dry humping.
9. Virgin and Experienced Partner
One of you is naive and inexperienced, the other offers to show you the ropes, to gently ease you into sex. With elements of teaching and power exchange, this makes for a hot scenario.
10. Master/Mistress and slave
What would you do if your partner had to obey your every command? If you could punish them physically for disobeying? Hereâs your chance to find out. Whether you instruct your partner to eat you out or clean out the garage, you can have a fun time with this role. Make sure to discuss boundaries and safewords before getting into this kinky role play, however.
11. Political/Business Bribe
Youâre a powerful politician or business person, and someone wants you to make a policy or legal change that benefits them. Theyâre willing to do anything to get what they want, and the way they look, talk, and act proves it. Will you take advantage? Try this role play idea to find out.
12. Blackmail
Imagine this: you show up at the office or home of someone whose reputation, career, and family would be ruined if the information you have on them went public. They might be skimming off the top or have cheated on their partner.
Youâve got the paperwork, photos, or recording to prove it. The only way you wonât leak it to the press? If they satisfy your sexual whims. Bonus if you use actual âincriminatingâ photos from your previous sexual escapades or role play sex games!
13. Babysitter and Parent
Maybe the older parent gets a moment alone with the babysitter on the drive home and cannot help but comment on how sexy the young adult is. Maybe something sultry starts up over text. You can even switch up the traditional role play idea by having the babysitter try to throw themselves at the parent who does everything in their power to resist the advances.
14. I Shouldnât
The ring on your finger tells everyone that youâre married. Yet, the attractive stranger in the bar or other public place takes it as a personal challenge to convince you to stray. How long can you resist their advances?
15. Whereâs My Money
The bills are due, but your tenant or client doesnât have money. Youâre willing to let it slide just this once if theyâre willing to repay you some other way.
16. (Porn) Director and Actor
You have the power to make your partner a star as long as they give you their all and take your direction willingly as you go over lines. But thatâs not all theyâll be taking. You can set up your phone to make it look like youâre recording or actually record your hot role play scene if that makes it even steamier.
17. Confessional
Place a screen or curtain between you and your partner. One plays the priest, and the other is there for confession. You want to repent for your sexual sins, but just talking about and hearing them is a turn-on.
The priest might instruct the other to repent by doing something naughty or might be so turned on that they have to touch themselves right there while the other talks. You can âleaveâ the booth after some satisfying mutual masturbation or commit a different sin when you have sex.
18. Strip Poker
This couples role play starts as a fun game, but as you lose clothes, itâs hard to resist temptation. Someone gets aroused, perhaps visibly so. Before you know it, youâre fucking on the poker table. You can set it up so you know who the loser will be or let lady luck get involved by playing for real.
Check out other fun drinking games for couples.
19. Reclaiming
This role play idea isnât for those struggling with real trust or jealousy issues. But if youâre secure, you can enjoy yourself as you reclaim your partner who has just admitted to cheating on you. Remind them that theyâre yours and canât get better. Plus, you can you can use some BDSM punishments if youâre into that idea.
20. Handyperson
A classic role play idea: you invite them into your home to fix the plumbing or some other issue. As you watch them work, youâre turned on by their physical prowess and knowledge. You canât help but try to seduce them, especially if your partner hasnât been paying attention to you lately. Alternatively, the worker could come onto you, perhaps forcefully.
21. Step-parent and Step-child
Youâre not actually related, but thereâs still a power differential, and you donât want to get caught. Perhaps one of you walks in on the other in the shower, and things escalate from there.
Read More:Â Calling Him âDaddyâ in Bed
22. Animals
Donât resist your animal nature, let it take over, instead. You can go all out with costumes and props or keep it simple. Both of you might be animals, or one might be human and interact with their furry friend naughtily. This definitely leans toward fantasy role play, so itâs not for everyone.
Related: Pet Play 101
23. Doctor and Patient
Most people donât like wearing a paper gown at the doctorâs office, but itâs a bit different when role playing and your partner is the sexy âdoctor.â You can get specific by playing the gynecologist or proctologist administering a very intimate exam. Props can make this coupleâs role play extra realistic.
24. Sex Robot
Hereâs a different type of role play you may never have considered! Who doesnât want a robot programmed to give you pleasure? Say the right command, or press the button on the âappâ and the robot has to do what you want with mechanical precision and without saying a word.
25. Firefighter and Survivor
Who hasnât fantasized about this sexual role playing idea? The firefighter saves you from a fire or your cat from a tree. Youâre so grateful and flooded with emotions that you kiss him to thank him. But it doesnât stop there.
26. Guard and Inmate
Hereâs a pretty common role playing idea. One of you has the keys and all the power; the other has to follow the rules or risk punishment. Include room and body searches to get hands-on.
Get ideas for punishment to use during your sex games.
27. TSA and Traveler
See where this role play idea takes you. The X-ray machine is down, and the only way you can get on your flight is if the TSA agent frisks you. Their hands on your body turn you on, and you canât help but moan softly. They test the waters by moving their hands between your legs, and you donât stop them.
28. Mile High Club
Are you so horny that you take a passenger behind the curtain or into the bathroom to get off 35,000 miles above sea level (some people say planes are one of the best places to have sex, after all)? Maybe youâre a pilot who turns on autopilot while the flight attendant gets on their knees.
29. Vampire
Some people say vampire myths are metaphors for virginity. Either way, it makes for sexy role play and offers lots of costume and role playing ideas. Get close enough for a little biting. You can incorporate fake blood or some pinpricks if youâre into bloodplay. Some vampires are even hypnotic, so you could try a little hypnokink with your dirty role play.
30. New In Town
Theyâre just moved here, perhaps theyâre a foreign exchange student with a sexy accent. You offer to show them around to the hottest spots or common errand locations. After spending some time together, sparks just fly. Thereâs a lot of room for creativity when it comes to this sexual role playing idea.
31. Peep Show
One of you is the voyeur who watches the other–through the window or a crack in the door. The other gets undressed or even masturbates, unaware that they are putting on a show. Of course, because itâs couples role play, you get to satisfy that exhibitionist streak, too.
32. Servant
The hired help is there to tend to your every need, so why would your sexual needs be any different? When theyâre done serving lunch, they can service you another way. You can definitely come up with some sexual role playing character ideas to go along with this.
33. Breeding
Breeding is definitely a more unusual fetish than some. Those who enjoy it often incorporate ejaculating inside one partner (a âcreampieâ), pregnancy, and giving birth. Forced breeding definitely makes you feel powerful. If you donât want to risk getting pregnant by having sex without a condom, some sex toys squirt, or you can even âartificially inseminateâ a partner with a baster or similar tool.
34. Your Favorite Superhero
Combine cosplay with erotic role play when you dress up as your favorite superhero. Itâs a treasure trove of role play ideas for the bedroom. Perhaps youâre Wonder Woman who uses her Lasso of Truth to get a prisoner to admit how much theyâre attracted to her. Figure out how your favorite character would be in bed to play them–or have your partner play them so you can enjoy it.
35. Hostage Situation
What would you do if you were being held hostage and wanted to escape? Most people would say âanything,â even if it means having sex with their kidnapper. If you want to add a more realistic âabduction,â you can kidnap your partner from the parking lot or driveway. However, you run the risk of someone seeing you and calling the cops.
36. Neighbors
There are so many role play ideas involving neighbors: the teenager and the sexy older neighbor, spotting your âneighborâ sunbathing topless/nude, or repaying a favor with sex, just to name a few. If you can actually borrow your neighborâs house (or have a guest house available), it adds to the realism.
37. Alien Abduction
Everyoneâs heard the urban legends about aliens abducting people and probing them anally. Itâs certainly a good use of butt plugs. But what else might aliens do with a human? Inspect them physically? Perform tests? Take photos or record videos?
More: How to use a butt plug for orgasmic anal sex.
38. Cuckolding
If youâre not okay with actual cuckoldry, you can role play it to get a taste. One partner can play the other man using a cock sleeve or sex toy, disguising their voice, and even wearing different cologne.
Technology makes this kinky role play game even more believable. You can set up a video call and pretend your partner is watching you while you pleasure yourself with a dildo and pretend itâs another man over the phone.
39. Nun/Clergy Led Astray
Theyâve pledged to live a life free of Earthly pleasures, but they canât resist your wiles. You give them a taste of carnal desires, and they canât help but surrender. There are tons of costume ideas for this role play situation, too.
40. Royalty and Concubine
This fantasy role play has historic roots. Kings and queens often took royal consorts. They couldnât marry, but their dalliances were sometimes well known. As a concubine, you get the royal treatment with none of the responsibility.
41. Driver and Passenger
There are all sorts of sexy scenarios you can play where someone is a driver and the other person is a passenger. The obvious role play idea puts the driver in a position of control when they discover their passenger canât pay the fare.
Or one of you could touch yourself while the other listens (and sometimes watches). You could even combine it with kidnapping by driving your passenger someplace and having your way with them.
42. Teacher and Student
This oneâs a classic for a reason. You can play with impossibly short skirts and ties and incorporate corporal punishment such as spanking to teach a lesson. Make it real with an actual chalkboard and chalk!
Related: How to Spank Your Husband
What About Consensual Nonconsent?
Any role playing game where youâve previously given consent for your partner to take you falls into this category. Some people might call this ârapeâ role play, but that word can be triggering for those with trauma experiences.
Consensual nonconsent, or CNC, can certainly be fun to resist or to wake up to your partner âmolestingâ you, but make sure to use safewords and that no physical restraint actually hurts anyone.
Now Itâs Your Turn
Maybe our list of role play ideas for couples inspired you to come up with your own? Let us know in the comments section!
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