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Some of our readers might be familiar with the concept of cuckolding, a particular fetish where a man gets off to the idea of his girlfriend or wife having sex with another partner. This sexual fantasy might sound weird, but it’s more common than you think and can be quite involved. Don’t feel left out as a woman, though, because you can reverse the roles and be a cuckquean if that’s your thing.
The Cuckolding Fetish
Head to your favorite XXX site or chat room, and you might see a category for “cuckolding” or “cucking.” These stories depict men, typically married, who find their wives cheating on them. Perhaps a neighbor has been coveting the man’s wife, and he walks in on the pair, or she may specifically let her husband know that he’s not good enough and she’s forced to seek satisfaction elsewhere. The plots may vary, but the overall theme is incredibly popular.
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There are obviously many people who want to see or read about men who are forced to watch or even participate in their wives’ “unfaithfulness”. But what about when you swap genders? Is that a thing, and is it anyone’s fantasy? The answer to both questions is a resounding “Yes.”
While a man in this position is known as a cuckold, a woman is a cuckquean (not queen, which you might expect). The woman takes the place of the cheated-on spouse in this role reversal.
But don’t forget that the cuckold or cuckquean desires this; it’s their fetish. It’s not just about someone who cheats; otherwise, you’d just have a cheater and their brokenhearted victim. Cucking actually does something for the cuckquean, who finds herself incredibly aroused by the whole situation.
How can that be? Cucking involves humiliation, which some people find erotic. It can be a fetish on its own, but erotic humiliation is also a common element in power exchange relationships. While you don’t have to be into BDSM to enjoy cuckolding (check out this BDSM for beginners post if you’re interested), you may be a little submissive if you’re a cuckquean.
Related: The Complete List of Fetishes
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Introducing the Idea to a Partner
Although it’s easy enough to understand the basics of being a cuckquean, the specifics of each relationship differ. Many of these situations begin with the woman who fantasizes about cucking bringing it up to her partner. This can be a difficult conversation. After all, it’s hard enough to talk about your fantasies when they’re more traditional than wanting to be a cuckquean.
We suggest checking out our guide to talking about sex.
You might start by suggesting how hot it is to think about other people having sex and work your way to the idea of your partner being the person with someone else. Or you might begin a conversation about fantasies:
Read: 10 Most Common Fantasies
What A Cuckquean Does
Assuming that conversation goes well or you’ve already had it, you’ll find yourself in a position where your partner can have sex with another person. The mistress is sometimes called the cuckcake. Depending upon your level of comfort, this may mean your man seeks out partners for relatively casual sex without an ongoing relationship, and you’ll never meet them. While you might have a cuckquean fantasy, you may not wish to meet those women, which may cause feelings of jealousy (and we’ll talk about that later).
It will probably help to define rules so you both know what’s acceptable or not. Many of the rules that apply to open marriage also apply to cuckqueaning.
Even if you don’t meet those partners, it’s essential that your partner discloses to any potential partners what your situation is. Some people might not consent to being in that position, even if it’s consensual.
For some women who have cuckquean fantasies, this is enough. You might stay home and find yourself turned on by the idea of your man on a date with or having sex with another person that you find yourself masturbating furiously to an intense orgasm.
But that’s not enough for some people, and you can take your cucking experience much further. For example, you might find yourself turned on by your man comparing you to the cuckcake. Often, this is a woman who is younger and more attractive (and perhaps better in bed). At the very least, your partner might make you believe this to be true.
If this doesn’t sound appealing to you at all, then cucking might not be for you. You may not have enough of a humiliation fetish or desire to submit (learn how to be more submissive). You may struggle with feeling compersion. And that’s absolutely okay. But if you’re aroused and want to know more, keep reading!
Delving Deeper into the Experience
Perhaps you love the idea of your man comparing you to another woman as he fucks you. It might send you right over the edge to know or suspect that she’s better to you and hear what your man has in store for another woman. You might get a thrill from reading messages between the two when he has “accidentally” left his phone in reach (but make sure that’s okay as part of your agreement).
One way to make your cuckquean experience more intense it to add an element of orgasm control. Perhaps you can’t touch yourself or masturbate to climax, no matter how badly you want to. You might even employ a chastity device that prevents you from achieving orgasm – what devious torture!
Find out more about orgasm control and orgasm denial.
Perhaps the ultimate in cucking is when you do meet your man’s cuckcake. You know how attractive she is, and you’re an audience to their experiences. Can you imagine seeing a beautiful woman enter the home you share with your man after a successful date and disappear into the bedroom with your partner? You know the two of them have sex, but you can’t watch.
You might be allowed to masturbate to the sounds you can overhear from the other room. Or you might wear a chastity belt that prevents orgasm. The mistress might fall asleep in your bed while you’re on the couch until she leaves in the morning.
Cuckqueans and Cuckcakes
One of the most common types of cuckolding porn is when the cuckquean or cuckold is actually in the same room at their partner and their paramour. The “cheating” couple might even be in the same bed while the cuckquean lies there listening to and feeling them have sex, even if she’s blindfolded.
If you’re especially into the humiliation element, then your partner’s cuckcake can become something of a mistress to you. You’re on the lowest rung of the ladder, and the pair will use every opportunity to remind you. She is better than you, and you are unworthy – perhaps worthless. So he fucks her or goes down on her until she comes.
And you? You are lucky if you get to clean up the mess that your man leaves behind on another woman’s body – or in her pussy – the sloppy seconds that you deserve.
This theme pops up time and again when reading cuckquean erotica. The cuckquean’s pleasure is withheld until the man or mistress gives permission. A cuckquean might worship the cuckcake as a way to become closer to the man.
Cuckqueaning and Jealousy
Obviously, this can be a very depraved situation, and it won’t work for everyone. Some men only want to be with one woman. Many women would want to stay as far away from cuckolding another woman as possible, and not every woman can handle being a cuckquean. Even if the idea turns you on, you might struggle with jealousy.
Sometimes people assume that the people who engage in polyamory, swinging, open relationships or cucking don’t experience jealousy, but that’s usually not the case at all. Some of these people may be less predisposed to feel jealousy than others, but it’s often all about how you deal with it. If you ignore it, it can become a much bigger problem.
But if you acknowledge jealousy and where it arises from (that your partner might find someone more attractive, may eventually leave you or that you’re not filling his every need are just a few examples), you can work on the foundation of your relationship. Being proactive about jealousy helps you have a happy and healthy relationship, even if you’re in a more traditional monogamous arrangement.
Here’s how to deal with jealousy.
That doesn’t mean that the green monster won’t sometimes rear its ugly head. You might be an experienced cuckquean who suddenly finds herself needing a break. Perhaps a stressful week at the office has you feeling out of sorts, and that’s perfectly okay.
Cuckqueaning Isn’t For Everyone
Ultimately, you should be able to express those feelings to your partner and take a break from cucking if it’s not working for you. You may even want to adopt something similar to a safe word if, during the scene, you feel like you need to pause or stop. Because while being a cuckquean might not look like fun from the outside, it’s ultimately something that you desire and might have been your idea in the first place!
Cuckqueaning is one of the weirder fetishes, and it’s totally understandable if it’s not up your alley. But if you find the whole idea a turn on, rest assured that you’re not alone and many men are happy to participate with you. You might find that being a cuckquean is a sexy fantasy come true!
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Excellent advice you are giving here. I agree that cuckqueaning isn’t for everyone. It’s best to go incredibly slow to build up properly.
I am real cuckqeun and I love it. I sometimes feel that there is something wrong about me. My man loves me to bits. It make me feel so good to know how much pleasure he gets from those who can do it better than me. I feel embarrassed to say this but each time after having sex with another woman I want him more and he gives it to me just the way I want it. Somehow I feel like those women actually work for me. I love my husband and no one is allowed to interfere with what has kept us this close for more than 15 years. We have been doing it for 12 years now and it is so amazing.
Belinda, seeing that you are an accomplished and seasoned veteran cuckquean, I’d love to experience the same thing with my wife (I think). Have any tips you can spare on getting my wife turned on by the idea of me with other women?
Macc, I’m not Belinda but I have some advice as a girl who’s really been turned on by cuckqueaning! I think what we have is a deficiency of jealousy (or, such a repressed fear of jealousy that it can only be expressed sexually). If you suspect your girlfriend may have this, you can ask during dirty talk whether she ever imagines you jacking off. Then you can slowly approach the topic, “Have you ever imagined me jacking off to porn (I.e, someone else)?” Because if she’s into it, that thought should turn her on. If she is, you can tell her about how much you’d like to imagine a threesome with another sexy woman (and if she’s into it, you can start approaching the idea of what OTHER types of women you like besides her type). If this gets her going, you can keep inching towards the idea of cuckqueaning. I basically did this with my boyfriend but in reverse (I’m a sub, he’s a switch) and this really got him into the whole idea of it, and now he’s even told me which teachers he found hot in high school!!! Maybe a cuckqueaning threesome is in store for us, who knows. Best of luck to you and your wife!!!
I am intersted in cuckqueaning and no my man and I have not had the experience yet but it is something that I fantasize and dream about often. When we have sex especially when I am giving him head I will fantasize about another women being their with me. We have also talked about threesomes as well as I have not had one before but he has. I trust him and I know that he loves me and I’m not intimidated or jealous enough to only want him for me .We have and open relationship with rules and I don’t want to sleep any other man and I have always thought women where beautiful and we like the same type of women. I’m just confused on how to find women for him to have sex with and if we do a friends with benefits arrangement or do we have a girlfriend or just one nighters and with std’s and all I want to be safe and smart cause you can’t trust anyone and since I have not tried it yet I’m not sure how I want it to go down whether I want to be there watching and participate if I am wanted or only let him deal with females who will be ok with me participating if I want or let him do it alone without me there or if i will only want threesomes but what I do know is that I’m not for the humiliation part I just love my man and I love to see him happy.!?
Sean Jameson says
Sounds like you need to keep a very open and clear line of communication with your man to figure out what you BOTH want. Once you have that nailed down, my advice is to take it slowly. Fantasy and reality are 2 very different things. If you happen to discover that you don’t enjoy the reality of your man with another woman, it’s better if you are in a situation where you can easily put a stop to things.
I have been a “closet” cuckquean ever since I was 16 and found out my brother at the time cheated on me and I heard it from the girl with whom he was with. I was sick with jealously and incredibly turned on at the same time. Before I could go out to find and confront my bf , I had to masturbate experiencing one of the most intense orgasms ever. From there and throughout my life, I would fantasize about the guys I was in relationships with, cheating on me yet never actually bringing myself to do it for fear of jealousy . It’s only been the last 5 years that I have seeming grown out of my jealousy fears or simply finding my self i relationships that I guess I consider more casual which allows me to act of the fantasy of my guy bringing another girl home. This is a fetish that most don’t understand but I’m 38 now and it’s still the one thing that I find turns me on more then anything.
My girlfriend is a cuckquean and she told me that she is. She gets so turn on just thinking about a FFM threesome and then watching me have sex with the girl and masturbating to it. We were about to do it couple if times. But she wouldn’t go through with it last minute. And couple of times that she wanted to go through with it the other girl canceled on us. She says that she gets jealous and doesn’t want to share me. She loves it. I love it. The only problem is her jealousy. I wanted to know if there is any way for her to get pass it. Because she gets turned on from a threesome GIF, so turned on that she goes out of control and masturbates 3 to 4 times and not even become satisfied with it, and wanting more. The only problem is her jealousy is there anything that we can do?!
PS. We both don’t want her sleeping with other man. So that’s not an option
Sean Jameson says
Jealousy can destroy a relationship, so keep that in mind at all times. The problem is that it’s often completely irrational… Trying to have a logical conversation about jealousy when one partner is feeling it, is very difficult and often fruitless. The key is maintaining great communication with your girlfriend so you know how she’s truly feeling about it.
Me and my partner are fairly new to the game but shes expressed to me how much she wants to be my cuckqueen, but with the internet full of nale cuckholds there doesnt seem tl be a lot of resources to reach out for couples looking to bring a cuckcake in. Do you have any advice for those for new and upcoming trying to bring the experience to real life from fantasy?
Sean Jameson says
There’s a few things you must keep in mind:
1. Your relationship needs to be the #1 priority.
2. Communicate, communicate, communicate!
3. Take things slowly. There’s a big difference between fantasy and reality. Fantasies can be super hot and sexy in the safety of your (and her) head. But reality may be a difference experience. This is why you need to take things slowly. How does she react to when you flirt with another woman? When you touch another woman? When you kiss her, etc?
My wife has wanted this for years. Ive looked off and on for years and cant find anyone in denver. Understandably she doesnt want to do this with her friends. How do people find women willing to have sex with a married man in front of his wife? Is it easier for her to find someone? How do you approach someone about it?
Lots of opportunity out there. You both need to have “the vibe” and willing girls will pick up on it. Everything from cute waitresses at your local restaurant you like to hang out to ex girlfriends of your husband (both have been rich target areas for us).
There is also “bicupid” that can be quite productive.
My wife and I could not be closer or more I love, and we are simply looking for a steady girlfriend for me, and that has been our challenge (not occasional hookups that are much easier to come by).
But in the meantime, what we find most stimulating is talking about it while we make love. And making your wife (or gf) anal only, helps her submit to you and desire nothing more than you having a nice, tight pussy to enjoy when hers is not so good.
This is what makes it so hot and I would encourage you to “lovingly Dominate” her as this is what she really wants, as well as submitting to your girlfriend.
Best of luck and happy hunting 🙂
My long time girlfriend one night after taking her out for her birthday where I got her little drunk. On way home asked her if she got everything she wanted for her birthday. She said all except watching you fuck a big tit blonde. I laughed and an said sorry I don’t have one handy She replied I do and pulled out cell phone She looked at me straight on and said I want to see you and another girl up close and do what I tell you.
Where do I find a guy that will even be open to this ? I like the fantasy part of it . I want him to humiliate me verbally and tell me how fat I am and how hot another woman is .. not sleep with her – just fantasize together . But every man I meet says that is not good for me , not healthy . It is what I like though and can’t help it !!!!