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Nobody likes having quiet or even silent sex. It’s a complete turn-off and a recipe for a very dull sex life.
That’s why I am going to teach you exactly how to talk dirty to your man with this Dirty Talking Guide so that you can build sexual tension, keep him deeplyattracted to you and most importantly so that you have incredible sex.
Side Note: I put together this in-depth assesment that will uncover just how good you are at sexting and talking dirty to your man. It may uncover some uncomfortable truths, or you may discover that you are already a queen at sexting & dirty talk. Click here to take my quick (and shockingly accurate) “Sexting & Dirty Talking Skills” Quiz right now and find out how good your sexting & dirty talking skills really are...
If you want to skip straight to the dirty talk phrases below click here or keep reading to discover exactly how to start talking dirty to your man to get maximum results.
Right now, you are reading the first chapter of the Dirty Talking Guide…On this page, you’re going to learn 73 different dirty talking phrases to use. You can click here to skip straight to them or keep reading to learn how and why you should be using dirty talk in your relationship.
Dirty Talking Tips Podcast
As well as reading the in-depth Dirty Talking Guide below, you may want to listen to the podcast I recorded on how to talk dirty to make your man obsessed, build sexual tension and turn him on.
Listen to more Bad Girls Bible podcast episodes here
Related: If you want to give your man back-arching, toe-curling, screaming orgasms that will keep him sexually addicted to you, then you'll find them in my private and discreet newsletter. You'll also learn the 5 dangerous & "dumb" sex mistakes that turn him off and how to avoid them. Get it here.
Why Learn To Talk Dirty In The First Place?
The first step in learning how to talk dirty to your man is understanding why you should be doing it.
Many women think using dirty talk phrases like the ones below is something that’s reserved for the bedroom only. It certainly does make sex more enjoyable, but it works in so many other areas of your relationship too.
Build Sexual Tension – By far the most powerful benefit of talking dirty to your guy is that it increases the sexual tension between you and him. Sexual tension is the core building block of having a passionate, enjoyable relationship with a guy you’re deeply attracted to.
I often get emails from students despairing, and they all follow the same pattern…heck you may even be in this situation yourself. You are in a long term relationship or marriage. You love your man, but as the relationship progressed, he’s become more a friend and a roommate instead of someone who gets you hot and bothered.
Instead of always trying to rip each others clothes off, you’re both struggling to get aroused and get in the mood for sex. You may have even tried multiple “tricks” or “formulas” you learned online to get the spark back…but it didn’t work.
Sexual tension is the key.
It’s that magical feeling that keeps you thinking about each other, wanting to be physically close and gets you completely aroused when you’re in each others company.
Talking dirty to your boyfriend or husband is the absolute best way to build sexual tension with him. You can learn some dirty talk phrases that will build sexual tension here.
Quick Quiz: Do You Give Lousy Blow Jobs?
If you are new here, then you may want to take the quiz below to learn how good you are at giving oral sex and satisfying your man. You may discover you that you suck (pun intended) or that you are already a blow job queen.
Intense Sex – Using dirty talk can enhance and intensify your sex life. You can scream and shout all sorts of filthy, dirty profanities while you and your man are getting it on or trying BDSM. “Fuck me harder,” “I want to taste your cum,” “I love your cock!”
But…
You can also use a bunch of other freaky and dirty talking phrases that make for more sensual, sexy love making. Whispering in his ear, “Don’t stop, I love it” or “You feel incredible” is going to work much differently, but it’s still going to have a great outcome. You can learn more dirty talking phrases to use for more intense sex here.
Keep Him Thinking About You – Building sexual tension with your man is one obvious benefit to using the dirty talking phrases in this guide. An additional benefit is that it will keep him thinking of you.
There’s nothing worse than when your man travels for work, is posted abroad, or he has an overly friendly and flirty female co-worker. Using the right kind of dirty talk with him will keep him constantly thinking about you, fantasizing about when he’s next going to see you and eagerly awaiting the next time you call or message him. You can learn some example dirty talk phrases to keep your man thinking about you here.
When you combine building sexual tension, keeping your man thinking about you and having intense sex, you can probably see just how beneficial talking dirty can be for your relationship.
How To Talk Dirty To Your Man – Step By Step Instructions
Now that we have discussed why you need to talk dirty to your man, it’s time to learn how to do it.
1. Start In The Shallow End Of The Pool – If you suddenly start talking dirty to your man and are being extremely explicit, then there is a chance that he is going to get a little freaked out, especially if it’s the last thing that he’d normally expect from you.
It’s a much better idea to slowly introduce dirty talk that is not too extreme or ‘out there’ or explicit. Start slowly and build up to the more intense stuff.
2. Begin In The Bedroom – You’ll also find that it’s easiest and most natural to introduce dirty talk in the bedroom or when you are both alone. This way there is far less pressure.
Once you get comfortable talking dirty to your man in private, then start experimenting elsewhere. There’s nothing more exciting than seeing your man’s reaction when you lean in and whisper something filthy in his ear while you’re both in a crowded bar!
3. Tailor It To His Tastes – Almost every guy on the planet adores it when you talk dirty to him, but…it’s vital that you quickly learn what type of dirty talk phrases he likes most. Some guys prefer it when you are subtle and even polite with your dirty talk while others prefer it when you are super explicit.
So your man might love it when you say something simple and subtle like, “I can’t wait to get you home,” while you are both at church. Or he may prefer it when you use incredibly explicit dirty talk like, “I can’t wait till we get home so I can get down on my knees and feel your cock throbbing in my mouth.”
Or perhaps he even has a praise kink.
The key is finding out which type of dirty talk works best on your man by experimenting and trying it out in different ways, whether that’s sending him dirty text messages like the 43 sexts you’ll find here and the 11 extra dirty messages here, or using these 64 dirty talk examples, these 91 extra dirty things to say to him or just asking him some dirty, naughty questions, like these 69 sexy questions.
4. Tailor It To Your Tastes – Of course you want to talk dirty in a way that turns your man on, this is obvious. But don’t forget that you need to be having fun too! So many women forget this.
If you feel uncomfortable using explicit language while talking dirty to your man or if you don’t like the idea of sending him dirty text messages, don’t feel that you have to! The key is making dirty talk work for you.
However, my advice is that you should try it out first before deciding whether or not it’s for you.
It’s totally natural to feel a little nervous and even shy when you first start talking dirty to your man or when you try something new. As you do it more and more and see your husband’s positive reaction, your confidence will grow.
5. Don’t Force It! – The advice you read here is just that; it’s advice. It’s not a rigid law that works flawlessly every time or in every situation. Anyone that claims to have a secret, “magic formula” for talking dirty that works every time is lying.
So if you try a particular dirty talking technique a few times and never get the reaction you’re looking for, DON’T FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE TO KEEP DOING IT! Just forget about that technique and try something else. Through this process of trial and error, seeing what works for you and what doesn’t, you’ll slowly build up an encyclopedia of dirty talking phrases and strategies that will keep your man obsessed.
Some women find that the dirty talk that benefits them the most is the more explicit, “out there” kind while others find that very subtle dirty talk works best. Some excel at phone sex while others get better results from dirty text messages. They key is focusing on what works best for you.
6. The Great Dirty Talking Lie – There is a misconception that many women have when they are learning to talk dirty, it’s a trap I hope that you won’t fall into. Some women think that the best way to talk dirty is to be very explicit and aggressive.
As you read the chapters of this guide and try out some of the dirty talk phrases below, you’ll quickly realize that being subtle when you talk dirty to your man can often be more intense and powerful than being aggressive or explicit.
For example, while you are at a party with your man, leaning into him and softly whispering, “If theses people weren’t around, I would do terrible things to you,” and then giving him a cheeky grin before continuing your conversation like normal is crazy powerful. It’s going to blow your man away. He’ll be constantly wondering what you meant, what you are going to do to him after the party and, of course, he’s going to be very turned on too.
But you didn’t even say anything that outrageous. Keep this in mind as you experiment and learn to talk dirty and you will have one very happy man who is completely addicted to you and only you.
Dirty Talk Phrases To Get You Started.
Before reading through the other chapters of the Dirty Talking Guide, here are some dirty talking phrases to try on your man tonight.
I have organized them into three groups…the first group is for building sexual tension, the second is for intensifying sex, and the third group will keep you man thinking about you and only you.
Dirty Talk Phrases For Building Sexual Tension
- If we weren’t at this party and these people weren’t around, I would jump you right now!
- What would you say if I asked you to go down on me right now?
- It might sound greedy, but I need your cock so bad right now. – Learn powerful blow job techniques in the Blow Job Guide.
- I’m going to drain your balls tonight!
- I wish I could control myself better around you, but when I see you, all I want to do is rip your clothes off and fuck you.
- I need to feel you inside me.
- Nobody has ever fucked me like you do.
- Even when you’re in a bad mood, I want to fuck you.
- I’m going to mark you as mine tonight.
- When we get home, I’m going to make you orgasm so hard.
- Knowing that you can completely overpower me makes me so crazy horny. – Learn more rough sex tips here.
- What would you prefer I wear tonight, a thong or panties or nothing at all?
- Would you discipline me if I was acting bratty? What is brat BDSM?
- I’m going to break you tonight. – Discover how to dominate your man with this guide.
- If these people weren’t here, I would be on my knees with your cock in my mouth.
- I can barely concentrate; I just keep thinking about you grabbing me and taking me.
- I’ve got a sexy surprise for you later… x (great when sent as a text message/IM/email) – Learn 43 more sext messages to send him here.
- I wish we could just stay in bed and have sex all day long – Perfect when he is leaving your place to keep the sexual tension high.
- I love it when you wear tight clothes.
- Guess what color my panties are?
- We need to meet after work; this horniness is killing me.
- I just want to wrap my pussy around your cock.
- You look so fucking hot in the morning.
- I wore these panties just for you.
- I feel so horny and helpless when you dominate me. – Discover what gets girls horny to make this true1
- Tonight is going to be a lot of fun 😉 (Perfect as a message)
- If you play your cards right, you’ve got some pleasure/fun coming your way.
- Stop looking at me like that, it’s making me wet.
- Tonight we’re going to do what I want to do. But don’t worry, it’s going to be a lot of fun!
- I’m going to make you scream and shout tonight!
- It’s a pity we’re not in bed right now because all I can think of is feeling your body on mine.
Dirty Talk Phrases For Intense Sex
- I just want to be your little fuck doll…
- I want to feel your cock in my mouth. – Chapter 2 of the Blow Job Guide has even more oral sex tips.
- I love it when you fuck me like a slut.
- Fuck me like you mean it!
- I don’t want to feel my face or hands after you’re done with me.
- I want to taste your cum.
- Making you cum hard is my number one priority right now.
- Taste me.
- I don’t want to be able to walk tomorrow so fuck me harder.
- Degrade me. (129 kinky degradation ideas and phrases)
- Use me.
- Don’t stop.
- Fuck me like your own me.
- You’re going to make me cum.
- I love your dick.
- Fuck my cunt.
- Fill me up.
- I want your cum.
- I want to fall asleep with you inside me.
- Grab my breasts and squeeze my nipples.
- I’ve been really bad and need to be punished.
- You’re not leaving here until I have your cum in my mouth.
- Deeper! (then pull him deeper with your arms and legs)
- I want to hear you scream my name when you cum.
- You like how I fuck you?
- Pull my hair and slap me.
- Please fuck me harder daddy.
- Make me your bitch.
- Cum for me.
Dirty Talk Phrases To Keep Him Thinking About You
NOTE: Many of these phrases work best when sent as messages.
- I feel so small when you wrap your arms around me…I miss this so much.
- Sometimes my legs get weak when you kiss me.
- Just thinking about you makes me so dam wet!
- I miss your cock.
- If we could only have sex in one position for the rest of our lives, what would it be?
- I masturbated about you last night. – Learn powerful masturbation techniques here and even more here.
- Still feeling sore after last night 🙂
- I think you’re the only guy who can make me angry and horny at the same time.
- The hottest thing about last night was feeling you shoot your load inside me.
- I can still taste you.
- I want to be your lady on the streets and your freak between the sheets.
- I never thought I would meet someone that gets me so god dam aroused.
- I’m supposed to working, but all I can think about is you dominating me.
Now that you’ve read the first chapter of the Dirty Talking Guide and learned a lot of dirty talking phrases to use on your man, you may be interested in learning exactly what to say and how to say it to build sexual tension, turn your man on and keep him thinking about you. This is what Chapter Two is all about. You’ll find lots of examples so you can do it perfectly. Start reading it here.
Of course, the Dirty Talking Guide is just the start. If you want more advanced training on effortlessly talking dirty to your man (including more dirty talking examples), then you will learn everything you need to know from this dirty talking instructional video. Check it out here.
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I am in a relationship where my partner has been in another country for the past two months, and we will not be reunited for another three months. Is there any way to intensify cyber sex or sexting?
Hi Lynn, check out these 2 articles for some tips:
1) How to have Skype sex
2) Dirty text messaging tips
hya my soon to be husband is in prison until 2 years hes asking me stuff like can u lay down and tell me wat i will do to him but i dunt now wat to start off with please help i wanna make him happy before bed haha xx
Try describing one of the times you had sex with him and go into detail about how it felt.
Just say you are fudding yourself mad thinking of him.
Ugh.. Dunno if I should say but you bore the fuck out of me ) the author of this site.. Not u x )
Video chat or snapchat
Buy a vibrator
get a wevibe! trust me you will not regret it unless your partner doesn’t have a cell phone. 🙂
My loved one also is away with work for months at a time. . We do fantasy play. We write an email and set a scene and let it flow from there. When we talk on the phone we discuss each others letter. We are dying to reinact some of what we wrote. Half of it never comes true, but some does. Your imagination is a powerful tool. Also once a month we have phone sex. I do my thing, he does his, and we both fall down in ecstasy. It keeps us together.
Hopes this helps.
Hi Jennifer, thanks for you question, there is! You can still use pretty much all the oral sex tips on the site and obviously all the dirty talking tips. Just make sure to avoid anything that puts pressure on your stomach or could potentially hurt your unborn child. I will be writing a resource for exactly this shortly…stay tuned!
Hi Jennifer,
I was having sex with my partner right up until the day I went into labour. I found being on all fours with him behind and my head and shoulders on the bed was the best position once my tummy got really big, he also loved the view of my arse!
Also don’t be afraid to just get on him in cowgirl position! Men are strong, you wont squash him and he’ll love seeing you enjoy yourself, (and the fabulous view of your breasts too).
Kathleen.
I LOVE TO GET HIM ALL WORKED UP SO HE GOES HARDER AND HARDER
Hey Sean! Thanks for hearing me out. I think I went overboard with my man from the get-go. I’m a perv most of the time and far more sexual than most chics. My man is less sexual than most guys. And now he thinks that I can only think about fucking and he just rolls his eyes every time I bring up sex. This kills me. It makes me feel unattractive and stupid to tell the truth. And of course, like all taboos, makes me want it more and him want it less. WTF? How do I rectify the situation? How do I turn around what I fucked up from the beginning? I’m so sad with how things have turned out. He’s a very good lover, and this only makes it harder (for me, not him). I want him to want me like I want him! Like before he knew how much I was into him, he was totally into me, but, now that he knows I’m his, he could just as much do without me. I love and adore him beyond words, how do I get him back on the same page? Please help. I’m completely lost and in need of advice. Thank you.
Hi Olivia,
I feel your pain! Although your question is about sex, it’s also very much a relationship one. I really feel that the best thing you can do is to talk to your man about it. Don’t confront him or make him feel uncomfortable about it. But do talk to him about it and see if he understands your situation.
Sean
Hi! I have been with my husband 17 years and married to him for 12. Sex is AMAZING! But I too want it way more than he does. It used to be the other way around for the longest time, but now I am 37 and just want it constantly. I read that woman hit the sexual peak around this time while men’s peak starts going down. I have been switching things up, trying new things, new outfits and it all turns him on, but I seem to be the one initiating all the time. He too has called me an addict, but I just want to feel wanted as much as I want him. He can watch porn regularly, but not have sex with me regularly?! I follow you and others and use all the relationships tips to get him into me more, but I feel like it doesn’t work. How do I get him interested in me and only me? I know porn is normal for guys but how is it I am ready, willing and able and yet porn is his answer? Crazy thing is…most guys would feel lucky to have what he has. I’m confused.
Sounds like you need to talk to him about this in a serious but non-judgemental, non-confrontational way. Let him know what you need.
I think it’s because porn is just a relief of sexual tension with no meaning men feel if they have sex with women that they can’t just roll over and sleep or pull there pants up. And off to work , they feel women always want the affection side and they don’t want to hurt the feelings of someone they love, and to be fair if your partner suddenly fucked you and went off casually to do something you’d be purest about it and feel unloved and it’s really not his intention to make you feel that way it’s just that at that moment that was just the animal instinct we all have the need for just raw sex no attachment at that moment in time xx
I agree with u Sean. I think Mel should be her man’s porn. with a little practice, starting very slowly but classy she may be able to show him real porn. Don’t shove it in his face. keep it distant and at first 2 gt to it. He should get 2 d point of realizing that it’s best for bth of u 2 enjoy porn together. If u make it tempting enough and holding it back as as u can your sex can really improve. Once in awhile say something like, ” for some reason during my dream I unconsciously removed my underware. Or upon awakning mention 2 him that you had the craziest dream about your having sex with a co-worker, friend or even with another woman. those things have a way to awakening a man, or even a wman. D best of luck.
Hi Sean. I am dealing with a similar issue. Me and my guy have been together for a little over 3 years. We’ve been living together for the past 8 months. Everything was going great, we hardly ever argue. But the past month I’d noticed him looking at porn more and more often, whether I was in the room or not. It kind of bugged me but I know it’s normal and shrugged it off. But then when I would try to initiate sex, he would blow me off and just be distant in general. This only lasted like 5 days before I talked to him. He said he didn’t prefer porn to me but that sex with me was starting to just feel “the same.” I told him we don’t always have to end up having sex, we could do other things too but that I want to share in his sexual experiences and do things together instead of in secret apart. He mentioned I don’t dress up like I used to etc. I said I feel embarrassed but will work on that… at first I felt good about our talk and we did end up having sex for a couple days. But I keep thinking what is he working on? I feel pressure to start being more of a seductress, but I wish he would also contribute to spicing up our sex life if that’s what he wants. I also can hear him masturbate in the restroom almost daily (I think he’s using a fleshlight, it’s noisy) since our relations. It makes me feel upset and frustrated. I have a high sex drive and so I’d also like to join in on the fun. I told him I’d really like to share in his sexual experiences even if not sex and help him feel good, such as mutual masturbation, but he said he just felt masturbation is something you do in private. I wonder if it’s because he thinks I won’t like what he’s looking at, that he’s embarrassed, or that I would kill the mood for him (he wouldn’t answer that). But just said he would try mutual maturation with me. So far it hasn’t happened yet. I feel I might embarrass him if I bring up that I can hear him and make him feel trapped with no privacy. At the same time, I want to confront him on not following up on what we said we’d try..I want to try seducing him like he wants yet I feel so unattractive to him now (though he said it’s not true) and want him to make the first move sometimes too. He says he likes dirty talk but he never initiates it with me. What do you think I should do?
Sounds like a tricky situation. Unfortunately it’s hard to give advice here as you know the ins & outs of your relationship so much better than I do (a guy on the internet!). My advice is that having a frank and open conversation with him will get you moving in the right direction.
Have him get a bio-identical hormone/testosterone injection. I’ve had a couple now myself and my husband just got his first one. It’s doing wonders for our sex life! I am in my mid 40s and he is in his late 40s. But we should’ve gotten them sooner! Worth every penny just for the boost 🙂
You need a man that is as sexual as you, maybe even more. You need a man that will satisfy your sexual needs, yes he might be a great lover but will you guys are both not on the same page when it comes to sex. What man rejects pussy? Seriously? Get yourself a lover that enjoys sex as much as you do! It might be the hardest thing to let him go, but it’s your life’s happiness.
Agree I am dealing with similar issues and moving onto a new guy very soon.
Honey I was in a relationship like this for over 6 years..it started out hot and heavy and inless than a month it petered out because “I was a sex addict” or god knows what other bs he fed me. I even married the man…..when he wanted me the sex was good, well damn good, but overall, never again. In the end I ended up a broken and broken hearted woman who would cry when a man showed interest in me…….now I have a real man, one who wants me as much as I want him and actually didn’t just say but made me believe how beautiful I am. I hope you find the right one for you!
hugs
I may be totally off, but maybe he has a problem he hasn’t been comfortable sharing. I have been with my man almost 7 years. The first few yrs it was almost every day and if we went a week, he was so pent up he would tell me he wanted it and I was gonna get taken within the hour. But a few yrs ago, he started never asking and telling me no and that all I cared about was sex. I began to feel like I was ugly and that he wasn’t attracted 2 me anymore. It took the relationship being damaged to the point of destruction b4 he finally told me he was having “issues”…like finishing the race b4 we started or not being able to rise 2 the occasion. He was avoiding sex because he was humiliated and embarrassed. It didn’t matter to his ego that I didn’t care how long we went or even if we had penetrating sex. It wasn’t me, he wanted me as much as ever but felt like a failure as a man. Once we got that out in the open, it became something “we” faced instead of him alone and slowly, things returned to normal. Maybe there is something going on that he can’t bring himself 2 admit or talk about. Before you walk away from someone who loves you, maybe gently approach this issue and tell him if thats the problem, he is still all man in your eyes and your bed and you will be his teammate getting past it. Just saying it might not be that he’s too lazy to care about your needs. It may be out of his control. Good luck
I agree with the last comment on it being something he’s embarrassed about & hasn’t said anything about bc I went thru same type thing with my husband & we’ve been together for 15 yrs but it took us almost getting divorce & him leaving to actually get us goin on right track together. We r working past all the hurt that’s happen in last 6 mths- a yr now & it’s already starting to feel like we r growing even closer than b4 so don’t just give up on him bc it may be something deeper that he’s scared to talk bout bc he doesn’t want u to think he’s less of a man, u gotta let him know u will stand by him & he doesn’t hafta deal with it alone.
Awesome response Crystal!
I used to be him in our relationship. I would drag my feet and dread sex with him. Sadly my husband didn’t communicate or express how he felt and flirted with another girl, nothing further and it was just once but when I found it I freaked. It still hurts but we talked A LOT and opened up more than ever. He was craving that flirtatious attention that i wasnt giving him. We found that we receive love differently. He receives his mostly by touch and compliment’s and I receive mine by acts of kindness and words of endearment. He began to tell me every time he noticed something I do that he loves and began to help out around the house and with our daughter without me asking and I began to tell him how attractive his looks and mind is and began randomly touching him more. We are very regular in bed now. Just wish we would have opened up sooner. Don’t turn to someone else, try different ways of showing love first and then see if he will talk. Just the change in actions really may be enough.
I think you should seriously make yourself cum in front of him and buy a fillip to cum.he will change his tune.trust me
After more than 10 years of marriage my husband admitted he didn’t initiate sex because he didn’t feel manly. It stemmed from the fact that he has always come quickly and his girlfriends before me always commented on it or complained. I never complained and always wanted him and initiated everything. ….others are telling you there may be a reason. And I agree there might be. My hubby couldn’t admit it to me or himself until he went on anxiety meds for 6 months. And we’d been together for 10 years. If you decide to wait it out and he doesn’t talk to you about it now. Just realize you might wait a decade or more to understand him in this way.
Have you tried talking to him about what he wants? Maybe look into a near by BDSM group. There should be one around. If not, look up videos about it. I’m not saying do everything, but try a new approach to sex.
Find a man who wants what you want do not waste your life on vanilla if you want rocky road. He has issues not you.
I finally found a man who wants what I want and it is so awesome and hot. This morning I sent him a bpob pic saying happy friday fyi MY boobs. All he could text was mmmmmmmmmm
Later I sent a tasteful anal pic. Not us yet. Then I followed with “take me Master D” his response was oh I will baby and more
Life is too short to play games unless they are the games you want to play wink wink
Fyi we are both in our sixties and more sexual and horny than 20s. Lol now we know how too enjoy each other and give not just fuck.
Update on today. Before he left work he sent me a picture and wrote thinking about you and us with lots of kisses added. It really works if you mean it
I have a couple of questions actually, I am married and we have been married for 10 years and we dated 3 years when we first got together we always would hug up and he would kiss me i mean really kiss me and about 5 years ago i had our son and i got very sick i had a massive stroke but now i am better and now all he will do is give me a kiss well a peck (lol). When we have sex he just asks me do u want to do something and i am like what the heck. He never says the word (sex) out loud and he wont let me give him a blowjob or he wont go down on me either how would i get him to have sex other ways than just the missionary way and i want him so bad and it makes me feel like i am so ugly and it is hard just to talk to him about it, i have tried and he gets mad at me for me just ask. Please Help!!!!!!
Hi Ashley,
This sounds like more of a relationship & communication problem with your man. Unfortunately that’s not something I cover in the Bad Girls Bible 🙁 What I would advise is find out what turns him on and arouses him by talking to him about it.
Sean
Hi Ashley,
I think what you DO NOT need to do is:
1. dont talk to him about it (since you said you already have) because he will feel like your nagging or he cant satisfy you which will not spark passion in him to want to please you more.
What you need to do is:
1. Be pleasant, a smile goes a long way. and you’re probably thinking what’s this gotta do with sex but it overall attitude does have something to do with sex! (in my opinion)
2. Appreciate whatever little he does. dont look at what hez not doin in bed to please you.pay attention to whatever little he is doin right in bed and tell him how great the missionary style was, (Be genuine)
3. Always look your best, exercise and wear clothes that complement your figure. smell nice too. you’ll start feeling good about yourself and when you start feeling confident about your looks and body, you naturally start to appear sexier and appealing.
4.see if anything changes and let me know.
Hi.
um this is for Ashley lol. Hi Ashley, I understand what you’re going through.. after I lost my last son and had a D&C my fiancee felt that I was fragile. Maybe this is how your man feels? Don’t give up on talking to him, make sure that he knows how you’re feeling hun. He’s probably scared of hurting you or doing something wrong so just talk to him. Communication and Trust are the foundations of a relationship. Without them, your relationship could fall apart.. Just tell him how you feel and ask him how he feels. I hope it works out..
Blessed Be,
Shelbie
Ashley I think Fatima is right. My husband and I were having problems in the bedroom too. I stop focusing on that issue and just started focusing on me. I started to workout, lose weight, dressing sexier and feeling more good about myself and always had a smile on my face. I just recently started texting him little messages like Sean said and my husband’s attitude has totally changed. Just the other night he said that i have changed so much, I ask if it was bad, he was like no I like this a lot. Like with anything in life the only thing you can control is yourself, everything else will fall in line.
Wow! There really are other people like me out there going through the same relationship “hurtles” that I’ve been stuck in/on for feels like freaking forever!! So here’s my question to Christina. What if I have tried focusing on just me and my fiancé then starts thinking that I might be seeing someone else or thinking about leaving! Wtf??? I am so tired of being stuck in this rut in our relationship that I could scream! Please! Anyone with a little advice!
Sounds like he is insecure. I been married for 25 years and among the very few in this day and age. I would take this as a warning flag. Marriage is 2 people but they aren’t hooked at the hip. If he can’t handle or is suspicious of you for spending time on yourself now, it won’t get better after u tie the knot. Run away
You should try and talk with him about it….thats the only way he would understand what you mean …. is this comment helpful? let me know thanks…
OLivia I am in the very same situation than you with my man. I feel he loves me but sometimes I feel he doesn’t desires me. My man is an amazing lover but he doesn’t like sex like me (or do it with me?). I think I try everything. Abstinence, , being a shy and lovely girl, tantra, kamasutra, white tigress’ things. I don’t want to end my relationship but I feel tired fighting and talking about it. Sean help me!
Hi Sistina,
This is a tricky question as I don’t normally deal with relationship questions. My only advice that I can give you is to talk to him and see if you can get him to be truly honest. Find out what he really wants, what his turn ons are and go from there.
Sean
So, my boyfriend and I have been together for one year, but we live an hour away from each other. I want to leave him speechless after having sex, when we do have time. I want to try new things. Since we are an hour away, I want him to keep thinking about me once I leave, be have things interesting between us! How or what can I do? Please help! Thank you!
Hi Vanessa, you might be interested in checking out the sex tips section for some ideas.
Hi
I have the same situation, with living an hour away. the dirty texting I know does work, but my question is how can I get my guy to ask me to come and visit a little more often. with him bringing it up and not me?
Hi Sarah,
This sounds like more of a relationship question. If you want him to come visit you more, then I suggest you talk to him about that in a slightly more serious way than using dirty text messages.
Sean
Hey, Tell me how to know that whether my partner likes dirty talks or not?
Hi Ritisha,
The key is just trying some light dirty talk to see if he enjoys it.
Sean
How do I learn to swallow? I want to surprise my husband of 18 years with this special thing but I’m’ not sure how to do it without gagging – that would kind of ruin it.
Hi Jennifer,
First try swallowing just a tiny amount of his ejaculate the next time your give him a blowjob. Then if you enjoy that, try swallowing a bit more. Let me know how you get on!
Sean
Sean, I appreciate your website and valuable information, but I disagree with this advice to Jennifer.
A sure-fire way to swallow is just before he ejaculates put the penis deep in your mouth and you will swallow effortlessly without even tasting it.
Hi L Wolf,
Thanks for your comment! This is a great suggestion.
Sean
I agree with L Wolf…that’s how I do it.
When you are pleasuring him orally and he about to orgasm, put the tip deep in your mouth, and you will swallow the ejaculate without even tasting it.
Hi, is there any way of pleasing my man, because I don’t do BJs the smell makes me feel sick. Can I do anything else? Thank you.
Hi Lisa,
If you don’t enjoy the smell, then talk to your man about it and make sure that he thoroughly cleans himself before you try it. But if you still don’t want to do it, then why not try giving him a handjob. You can find some great tips in this article on handjobs.
Hey sean,
Actually I just got married about a month ago and due to reasons my husband had to leave the town and go out! Hes returning in like 10 day! The thing is i’m very shy wid him and i also feel very awkward in having sex (the way he wants) as in changing positions and giving a blow job! Usually i’m very nervous about it! I cannot completely participate ! Could u pls help me as im tensed about my future sex life!
Regards
Aairah
Hi Aairah,
Try talking to your man about this so he understands where you’re coming from and you’ll also learn a ton of tips from the newsletter here.
If it’s purely the smell that is a turn off, join him in the shower! He won’t smell like anything except water! And it’s definitely a sexy move on your part.
Hi Sean, 4 some reason i’ve always had a problem talkin dirty not just 2 my man just talkin dirty period n idk y. i made a promise 2 my man n i was that ur word is ur bond. & I really hate breaking a promise. can u plz help me?
Hi Jami,
All the information is here on the site. Try starting out in the dirty talking section.
Sean
hi sean, im afraid of giving a blow job to a man i don’t have a small mouth and small tongue, I’m afraid the guy will think I’m not good or anything, what should i do?
Hi Lilly,
The first thing that I advise is not worrying about it. Most people don’t do it perfectly the first time they try it. Try using just 2 or 3 of my tips from the blowjob section on him. The best way to get better is with experience.
Sean
So tonight I put the baby to sleep early and I told my bf to stay up with me all night and have sex and he sounded like hue was edited but rite after we finished the first round he said he was really tiered and wanted to go to sleep should I be upset or should I just drop it… And the sex was amazing!
Hi Lola,
In my opinion, it sounds like you shouldn’t be upset. Guys often feel tired enough to sleep after sex and your man will be no different. However, you should talk to him to let him know how you’re feeling about it. The key to great sex and a great relationship is great communication after all.
Sean
Hi
I need help talking dirty it’s hard four me I don’t no why. I’m married an we live long distance
So phone is all I got right now with him . He’s in the marines ! But it’s really hard I miss him more
Wen I try an talk dirty to him .
Hi Sookie,
Try start with something easy like, “I miss you so much”, “I wish you were here right now”, “I’m going to give you such a great time when you get home!”
It doesn’t need to be super sexual, but once you notice the positive reaction that you get to it, you’ll feel a lot more confident getting more sexual on the phone.
Sean
Hey Sean,
I get kinda nervous about telling my partner what I want him to do. I feel like I’m being bossy in otherwords so I kinda don’t tell him.. I don’t know how to overcome this fear. Can I get some help?
Thanks, Shelbie.
Hi Shelbie,
Here’s what I’d recommend doing in this situation: The first thing is letting him know how hot, horny and enjoyable you find that things that you want. So if you really want to try a certain position, let him know that it’s something you think would be really fun and hot to try.
Let me know how it goes!
Sean
Try playing with yourself while you talk dirty.stroke got clitoris. He will like hearing you cum
I read the dirty talk section . I freeze up its soo frustrating four me
Hi Sookie,
Sorry to hear that. Can I help?
Sean
when will there be anything new??
Soon! Don’t worry, I’m just a little busy at the moment. Much more awesome content coming in the next 2 months!
Sean
Hi Sean,
I am in a relationship at the moment with a guy who is a lot older than myself and am worried he will soon get bored of me as he has a lot more sexual experience than I do as i do not have much. Do you have any suggestions on how I can keep him interested in me, or things I could try to keep him on his toes?
Thanks
Hi Louise,
You will find tons of tips in this section that will keep him satisfied. You can also sign up to the newsletter to receive tips every few days right into your inbox.
Sean
Hey Louise,
I was in the same situation as you in a way. Just be calm and when you start to get intimate and become unsure if he is enjoying himself, just ask. Maybe say something:
1. You’re a little quiet there boy. How do you want me?
If you’re a little shy maybe you could just ask him what he likes or what kind of porn he watches.
Hi Sean,
I just got together with my first bf he is older than me. I am virgin. I have never done this kind of stuff before and anything like that. How can I still satisfy him? What can I do to make him lose his mind? I wish I was more experienced… And I think he would never say to me that I’m sucks even if am. Do you have some good tips to girls that are as inexperienced as I am?
Hi Lucy,
Don’t worry, we’ve all been there! My advice is to not over think things too much. Try to relax and enjoy the experience. You may be interested in checking out the sex positions section for some ideas on what positions that BOTH of you might enjoy.
Sean
Hey,
So my one year anniversary with my boyfriend is coming up very soon and I want it to be very special for both him and me. And I was wondering if there are even better ways I can spice it up and surprise him to give both of us a memory that will last for a life time.
Any tips?
Thanks~
Hi Melissa,
Honestly, there are a hundred different things you could potentially do based on my tips on the Bad Girls Bible, but at the end of the day it’s really up to you which ones you use. After all, you know your man better than me.
If you really do want to blow his mind though, here is one suggestion: Make it all about him and don’t expect anything in return (although if it’s your anniversary, then obviously he should be pulling his weight!). So you could sit him down and just start giving him a very slow blow job. Then you could lead him to your bedroom, push him down on the bed and just start riding him in a position like cowgirl. It’s a great way to show him how attracted you are to him and how much you care about him.
Have fun!
Sean
i was hoping to get sexual advise me and my boyfriend have been dating for 3 years now and are thinking of getting married but i have a problem i love him and feel comfortable around him sexually but i just cant feel any pleasure during sex and i was wandering if you have any position or ideas that we could try to help the sexual frustration I’m feeling
Hi Alsia,
The first thing is making sure that you can easily orgasm by yourself (without using a vibrator, dildo or excessive pressure). If you can easily orgasm while masturbating, then it’s a case of incorporating what you enjoy and get off on into your sex life.
So if you enjoy direct clitoral stimulation, then you should try positions like the coital alignment technique as well as cowgirl. You can also try most doggystyle variations as you will easily be able to rub your clit throughout.
Others prefer the feeling of their man dominating them. If that sounds like you, then you’ll find the anvil position or even the deckchair position to really fun!
The real key to discovering how to enjoy sex more is by experimenting and focusing on what is actually fun and enjoyable while ignoring the things that don’t bring you much pleasure.
Let me know how things go!
Sean
hey Sean,
just need your thoughts My husband and I have ben married 11 years in that time we have had a lot of things go on he had an affair 6 years ago I forgave him . Both my parents died last year with in 10 months of each other and I emotionally and physically pushed him away not intentionally but I shut down . I found out recently he has been texting this older women he says their friends I want to trust him however she show him attention I didn’t so now I want to spice it up ( we have decided to work on our marriage) but don’t want to come off to pushy where do I start?
Hi Shannon,
I always recommend starting with some fun new sex positions with your man from the sex positions section and just go from there. You may also want to sign up to the newsletter for tips on oral sex, talking dirty and other fun sex tips.
Best,
Sean
Hi, I’m kinda new to al this. I am 24 and I’m married to the most wonderful man in the world but I feel like he is more interested in his playstation and drinking then me! I just don’t know what to do. He says if I pay him more attention then he’ll give me more attention but it just doesn’t seem to work. Our sex life has pretty much come to a stop and we have only been together for 5 years! What can I do??
Hi Kristie,
This sounds like both a relationship and sex question. As I am not a relationship expert, let me help with the sex side of things. The most important thing to do is to talk to him about it. Let him know your wants, needs and desires. Next, I would suggest that you start taking the initiative. So start initiating sex, try wearing something a bit more provocative than usual. You can even try sitting down beside him one day and just start rubbing his crotch with your hand. Let me know how things go.
Sean
I don’t moan and neither does my boyfriend when we have sex , I just want too know is it normal? Does everyone moan?
Hi Cielo,
It’s completely normal 🙂 Not everyone is vocal during sex. The terrible thing is that some people fake it or feel the need to fake it.
Sean
This guy I have know for years, we went out years ago and just kissed that’s it. Well he moved away, I moved away he moved back asked about me. I finally moved back.We never really talked because we didn’t think either one of us where interested in the other one. Well now he just got married again a year ago and im divorced. We now work together and are texing each other and the texes are pretty deep. And he has kissed me also.I feel so bad and why would a newly wed man do that.He wants us to get down and dirty together. But I so want to but my feelings would get involved,and I don’t understand why he would do that to his wife.Please help
Hi Annette,
Sounds like a pretty complicated relationship question. Honestly, I don’t have the answer for you. It could be for a near infinite number of reasons.
Sean
Dear Sean,
My question is this. I love my boyfriend very much and we are able to talk openly and honestly about our sex life we joke and play and have no problems discussing what we want or what our limits are. I love the idea of dirty talk and he is very good at it but I seem to keep hitting some mental roadblock I can text him all the naughty things I want to say and do but when I try to say them out loud I just can’t do it I giggle and blush and clam up. What can I do so I can get over this awkwardness? Please help
Melissa
Hi Melissa,
Start with the smallest, easiest thing when it comes to talking dirty…moaning. Just moan a little louder than normal. Once you are comfortable with that, progress to using just one or 2 words, “Yes”, “Like that”, “Harder”, etc. Then progress to using longer and longer dirty talking phrases.
Sean
Hi Sean,
I’m hoping you can help me out please I’m stuck in a situation obviously it’s about a guy. So there is this guy that I’ve known for three years we met in pre-military sort of thing. I find him overly attractive in multiple ways for his appearance, personality, behaviour, sexually you name it I’m attracted to him. So he could tell that I liked him and I think he liked me… So we’ve been friends for a while. Just recently we started dating h it e picked me up for lunch in a really nice car and we had lunch and He asked me if be ok for us to be a couple so I said yes and a hug turned into a cuddling session and a cuddling session turned into passionate kissing making out to grinding then sex. It was lovely and the first date we had sex. Is that alright? We text another consistently and friendly texting and sexual and and all that.. Then 5 days later he drove up to where I was and started telling me reasons why we shouldn’t date and he broke up with me. He said the reasons were that I was 4 years younger than he and it was illegal and he could get charged. So I looked it up and it’s not then I confronted him and he said nother that reason but because he’s a higher rank in the military than I so he could be charged and no he cannot I looked it up the law says “As long as both parties agree to sexual activity it’s allowed”. I told him again he said he’d be honest it was because a girl he’d dated before me ruined him and he’s not very rich and he wasn’t right for me. I told him he was and well that girl was a bitch. So we text a lot and he says he still really likes me and I really like him. How do I get him back? Please help me Sean
And also he had text me about how he got a massive boner thinking of me and over thinking of the person he has had the best sex with and it was me. I flirted with him but first I bugged him an said if I was with him right now I could… and didn’t finish… but every time I text him we flirt he flirts with me then I flirt back and he basically pushes me away. Does he like me or something? What do you think he thinks of me? Should I move on? Please help me or even email me to answer.
Hi Jenny,
Thank you for your comment but, this sounds like a tricky relationship question. I would love to be able to help you out, but the Bad Girls Bible focuses only on sex advice. I hope it works out for you.
Sean
I have this guy that I’m seeing… together or apart I am totally turned on. Sex is gr8 but… he cums fast when we do it raw because condoms r irritating to my vigina and when we upgraded to oral sex he wouldn’t get hard…. what can I do? Is there something wrong with me? HELP!!!!!!
Hi Is,
Sounds pretty normal to me. Your man may just have a little performance anxiety if he has trouble getting hard for you, that’s all. Just keep trying, WITHOUT putting pressure on him.
Sean
My boyfriend and I have been dating for roughly six years on & off. But, I’m still a virgin & don’t want to have sex with him yet. & he’s had sex once. I’ve always been scared to do sexual things with him because I was afraid I’d be bad at it, & I was afraid he’d leave me again. He’s always been eager to please me sexually, it makes me feel selfish.
But we’re back together again, no fights, no anything. It’s the perfect relationship. So, I decided just recently to give him a blow job. I’ve been told by many of my past boyfriends that I’m pretty amazing at it. I even follow some of your steps. But I was trying to get him off for almost an hour & he just wouldn’t cum! I tried everything!
It really lowered my self-esteem. He told me it was absolutely amazing & he loved it. But that he’s never been able to get off with a girl, Not even the one he had sex with.
But I still feel bad. Is there anything wrong with me?
Hi Bailey,
Honestly, I think you are over thinking this. Yes, it’s true, some guys have trouble getting off with any girl. The reason is usually because they masturbate too often or with a grip that is very tight (this trains them to need a lot of pressure to get off, so much, that it’s almost impossible to replicate with a blowjob or sexual intercourse).
Some girls are like this too. They have lots of trouble getting off when having sex with a guy. So there is absolutely no reason for you to feel bad as there is nothing wrong with you.
Sean
Hello!
I want to thank you for this amazing website. Im in a relationship for almost a year now. I was never a jealous type of a girl. But lately it all changed. Im constantly worrying about him wanting other women. My confidence that used to be above clouds went spiralling down. I couldn’t stop over thinking everything. Our sex has always been good. But due to my recent feelings I decided to research ways to make him more satisfied. And I figured out I would get my confidence back.
I think I took a right step and I hope your advice will help. Cant wait to try them all.
Best regards!
I’ve been with my boyfriend for 9 years now and i really just want him to degrade me in bed. We normally have nice clean respectful sex. Whats the best way of telling him what i want without hurting his ego.
Hi Brenda,
Getting this right can be tricky. Most likely you won’t hurt his ego. What’s more important is communicating to your man in the right way. If you just come out and tell him all of sudden, it may come as a bit of a shock to him. So it’s better to slowly build up to exactly what you want. So one night, try talking to him about his kinks and turn ons. Then when he shares his, let him know that you’d find it hot if he told you what a bad girl you’ve been and how terrible you are, but only in the bedroom.
Once he starts to act out these things, then make sure to praise, compliment and reward him for it. This will encourage him to keep doing it.
Let me know how it goes,
Sean
So boyfriend used to be with a dominatrix and now he’s all about dirty nasty talk, I am pretty shy and submissive but I know he’d like it if I talked dirtier to him, the “basic stuff” just isn’t cutting it, I need some examples of some pretty raunchy things to say to him! Please help
Hi Ari,
You may be interested in checking out the Dirty Talking Bible here. It has a ton of advice and tips for you to use.
Sean
Hi my name is Susan but I am a boy. I recently gave a blojob to a friend of mine but I couldnt get him to cum. What am I doing wrong. I am meeting him again soon so I got some ladies cloths hopefully to get him excited bu I still thing I will fail. can you help? Susan.
Hi Susan,
You’ll find some great tips on giving guys a pleasurable blowjob on the main blowjob page as well as in the Bad Girls Bible newsletter.
Sean
Thanks Sean,
Some great tips, I intend trying them all. Let you know.
Susan.
Hi Sean, I’ve been chatting to a guy, he contacted me in August 13, I went out with him 35 years ago, he works around the Pilbra WA.We are proff that sexting does work, We stay in contact by email ,phone calls and texting, thank for rekindling our relaintionship .
Great to hear Elaine, let me know how it goes!
Joe
Hi Sean
Since I have your tips my sex love with my man is getting exciting each time we doing it.Thanks ,still to get more .
Kind regards
hi sean !
i’m married 2 years ago. my husband is my first love. and recently i felt that he had lost interest in me. in the past, we would have sex every few days or so. even when i’m pregnant that time. and now we only have sex once a month or so. even when i take the initiative to ask for sex he will reject me. he usually browse through those sex forum as well. does this shows that he is cheating outside or? how do you see this as? and most of your bad girl bible tips we have already used it before. do you have any suggestions/recommendations that you can give me? thank you in advance, sean !
best regards,
atricia
Hi Atricia,
Sounds like a pretty serious situation. The best thing you can do with your man is to have a talk with him about it, to let him know how you’re feeling. The problem many couples face is that after the initial spark fades, so does the hot sex. The key is finding a way to reignite that spark and lust you both previously had.
Sean
hi sean !
thank you for your advice given, i really appreciate it ! but i have tried to talk to him several times about it. but he wouldn’t pay much attention to what i had said or even though he did listen, he will not do anything about it as well. could you share with me some keys on how to reignite that spark and lust that will at least do a trick on me and my man? because i did tried my ways before but it doesnt seems to work as well.
best regards,
atricia
Hi Atricia,
Keep trying new things, see what works and what doesn’t work. Then keep doing the things that work, forget about what doesn’t work all why tyring new things.
Sean
Hi, I have been with my boyfriend for over 4 years now.. He says we are perfect in the sex department.. I want to spice things up in the bedroom but he says he doesnt want to try toys.. what else can I try besides different positions?
Hi Kay, there are tons of things to try. You should take a look at the blow job section, dirty talking section and this sex tips section to get you started.
Enjoy!
Sean
hi sean !
thank you so much for your reply and advice given ! (: will try out new ways with my man soon and see what works best ! (: but surely your blow job section is good ! *thumbs up*
best regards,
atricia
Hey Sean,
my boyfriend and me have been a couple for 2 years now. Do you have some tips for stripping for a man without making a fool of oneself? I’d really like to try, since undressing each other seems so boring over time.
Thank you and regards,
Hannah
Sure, you should check out this article I wrote:
https://badgirlsbible.com/how-to-strip
Enjoy!
Sean
My fiance and I have been together 2 years are having a baby in 4 months. He travels every month for work and I want to keep things going even while he’s away. I’ve done the whole dress in lingerie and a robe to the airport to get him and that has an amazing outcome but we Skype a lot and I’m looking more for something to keep him on the verge of meltdown while he is away! I want him to be so anxious to get done and get home that he can barely control himself. But I want the attraction not to be just to get laid because he’s so hot n bothered I want it to be that he wants me because I’ve got him so hot n bothered by the tension and sexual agony I’ve created the entire time he’s gone! What’s your thoughts on this??
Hi Lisa,
You may enjoy this article on sexual tension a lot!
Sean
Hi Sean. I’ve been in a relationship for 3 years & engaged for a year. I am very freaky. But I don’t think I’m freaky enough. I’ve been cheated on a handful of times but haven’t recently except he had meetme on his phone. What can prevent from another mistake? Am I doing something wrong? I want to keep him satisfied & well pleased.
That sounds like a touch situation Gina. My advice is to talk to him.
Sean
Hey Sean,
Me and my husband has been together almost 8 years and married almost 6 years…and we have two gorgeous daughters. They are 3 and 5…the problem is our sex is more less how should i say…bland…since we have had our girls and they’re getting older. So my question is how can I get him all worked up to where when we do have sex its mind blowing?
Thanks in advance and best regards!
Ashley
The key is building sexual tension and holding out until he literally grabs you and has to have his way with you.
Sean
Been with my guy 6 yrs married for almost 2 yrs. 3 kids as well. Im more sexually aggressive then him and I think ive turned him off because of that. We have had lots of rough patches. What advice can you give me to help get the sexual tension back. Hes not dominate in the bedroom at all. Help please
Hey Kendra,
Building sexual tension takes time. Instead of initiating sex, do things that build up to sex but don’t actually initiate it. So do things like send him dirty text messages, touch him and let him know whats on your mind, but wait for him to take charge. The key though is TALKING. You need to have great communication in order to find out what really gets him going.
Sean
Hi Sean,
I have been with my partner 6 months now and we have a great sexual relationship. I want to ask him to call me names (sometimes), like ‘good girl’, ‘slut’ etc but I’m worried this will seem weird and he’ll think I have self esteem issues. How can I ask him to do this? Thank you.
Debra
Hi Debra,
Honestly, that sounds totally normal! It’s just a case of communicating it to your man effectively. You just need to tell him how hot you find it when he is vocal during sex, that you like hearing him talk dirty. If you are vague, then he will ask you questions like, “What kind of dirty talk?” or “what do you want me to say?”
Sean
I am in a four year relationship, we have tried anal once and she said it hurt at first but she stared liking it but that its kind of gross. She was molested as a child and I am very cautious not to bring those memories back while in the bed room. She knows that I like blow jobs and anal and is willing to do what ever I want. And I want to make these things as pleasant for her as possible I also want to do some things just for her but all she ever says when I ask her is vaginal with me on top and doggy, but she is a practical nymph she wants sex 24/7. Is there some technique I can apply during sex that will help her to open up and tell me more of what she wants to have done to her?
Hi John,
It sounds like a very tricky and difficult situation. My advice whenever there has been any type of abuse is to talk to a medical professional first.
Sean
Hi Sean,
My sexual relationship with my bf of almost 2 is going great. We’re both sexually active, we’ve tried new sex positions and we make sure we both are satisfied after each sexual intercourse. Well I like to talk dirty to him, I also tell him that I love how he does it and how he makes me feel. The problem is that during sex he’s very quiet and I wish to change that and also get him to moan. I only rememeber him whispering dirty to me 3 times and it was because he was drunk. How can I get him to talk dirty or moan?
The best thing to do is first to make sure you let him know how much you enjoy it. Then anytime he does talk dirty to you, make sure to compliment him and let him know how much you appreciate it. Finally, get him to start slowly with talking dirty. It can be daunting if he feels like he has to describe things to you in a very detailed way. So start with getting him to moan more. Then try to get him to use 1 or 2 word sentences and then keep ramping it up from there. Have fun!
Hey any help about stripping ??
Hi Jeni,
Sure, try out this article on stripping.
Sean
Hi Sean,
Love your blog and all the useful tips!
I love ‘sexting’ and have been doing so for a while, but we have taken it to a whole new level since I’ve discovered your site!
Here’s a tip for anyone else who loves to send naughty messages to their man: send someecards! They have a whole collection of great, fun and dirty cards, I’ve collected a whole bunch on my phone and love sending them via WhatsApp! (And he LOVES receiving them!
Yasmine
Awesome idea Yasmine!
Hi Sean,
I’ve read a few of your articles now – I like reading ones that are written by men, rather than women who THINK they know what they are talking about.
I’ve just got a question I was hoping you could help me out with.
I’m figuring I can be open about our sexual relationship given the nature of the article and the above comments.
I’ve recently started seeing a man who i’ve got in a long distance relationship with. We are apart for around six or seven weeks before seeing one another. We met overseas on a tour and this week he came to visit me. While overseas, we were involved sexually and I found it wasn’t too hard to bring him to his climax. However, when he was here at my house, I was really struggling to get him to that point – orally and during actual intercourse.
He assures me that he still enjoys it, that i’m brilliant at oral and that i’m not doing anything wrong, but I don’t like feeling that he might be leaving the bedroom unsatisfied. I had a couple of theories….
One was that maybe we were getting physical a little too often… while he was here we were probably having sex twice a day, while on tour it was more like once every few days. Do men sort of get ‘worn out’ after doing it too often?
I also found it was quite hard to get him erect and then to keep him erect…. and trust me, i was doing everything in my power to help the situation.
Do you have any advice or tips? I’d love to be able to bring him to climax using oral more often (i’ve only been able to do this once, and it was a lot of work and pressure – though I love doing it) . I want to be able to bring him to his climax a little more often, but there isn’t any way I could do that same oral technique each time because its just too much pressure on my mouth and body.
Do you have any tips for those ladies out there, like me, who struggle getting their fellow hard and to the point of ejaculation no matter what they do (hand, mouth, intercourse) or how long they go for?
This man has told me that he has always been VERY difficult to bring to a climax, and so i’m sure it isn’t me, but I also wouldn’t mind being the person that could get him to that point more often : )
Thanks, and sorry for being so explicit for all those people out there who might not like it so much. Just wanting some proper advice.
Lara
Hi Lara,
It sounds like your man’s penis is a little bit desensitized. All you really need to do is get him to quit masturbating for 1-2 weeks and then he will be close to exploding the next time your are together.
So I’ve been with my guy got about 2 years now and we have amazing sex…. but I feel like my sex talk sucks….we get pretty dirty, out of bed I’m practically a nun… Any tips?
First up, don’t feel that every single thing you say and do has to be “super sexy”. However if you want to brush up on your dirty talk, then check out the dirty talking guide and the Dirty Talking Bible.
Although I’m not a fan of some parts of your website, I absolutely understand that the mind of a man is different to a woman in how we express what we want! But the best part is, we actually want the same thing! Sex brings people together, creates a safe place to play and enjoy each other without inhibition and be pleasured and pleasurable! So, three cheers to hot bedrooms (and beyond!)
hi, i just got married last October 04.. me and my husband had been together for 7yrs. And unfortunately, i found out that he had an affair with his colleague before we got married. they started on july,Im staying far from him and id been very busy with the wedding preparation. But now, i must admit, she had an impact with my husband when it comes to sex. He was just so different and I just wanna make him crazy for me again.. I wanna add spice to our relationship as husband and wife. maybe sex just gotten really boring between us thats why he cheated on me.Any suggestion how to make him crazy for me?
Hi Ann,
While you will learn a huge amount of techniques & positions on the site and newsletter, you may also want to check out this article on building sexual tension with him, so that he is literally gagging for you.
Sean
I have never had sex with this guy that I’m with right now and we have been talking about doing it, so what would be the best things to text him while I’m not with him?
Honestly, it’s hard for me to tell you the best thing to text him because I don’t know and understand your situation as well as you do. It could be something subtle or something overt, I just don’t know.
Hey Sean. So this is the situation, my boyfriend and I don’t live in the same city. He is going to live with me the next year… But for now, we can barely see each other. So is it good for us to have dirty talks? Or is it going to make him look for another woman to have sex with? Should I be afraid about that?
Thanks!
Dirty talk can work great for keeping him thinking about you and amping up the sexual tension. And of course if you do that, he will want a release. Whether he does that himself (masturbation) or with someone else is usually entirely dependent on your man. If he is a loyal guy, then you don’t have to worry about it. If not, then it doesn’t matter whether you talk dirty or not, he will cheat. So don’t worry about talking dirty…just worry about what your man is prone to do anyway.
Hey Sean,
I have been with my boyfriend now for four years, we have five kids and having alone time is kinda impossible. Between both of us working and being mom and dad there ist much time left for us, what can I do to make him want to make time to spend with me instead of falling asleep on the couch. Please help I’m about at my wits end here. Thanks
Sami,
First you need to talk to him so that he knows how you’re feeling, then you need to start planning a few hours here and there where you both have alone time. Get the kids to do a sleepover, spend a night in a hotel, hire a babysitter.
Hi I was just wondering if you could tell me what I could do about my boyfriend of a year. I feel like he rather watch porn rather then have sex. I’m twenty eight and he is thirty five. I only had threee partner’s my whole life
The main thing is talking to him about your feelings in a non judgmental, non confrontational way.
Hey Sean ,
I just recently started to give my bf blowjobs and I feel embarrassed sometimes because I have such a delicate gag reflex and if it goes anywhere near the back of my throat I feel as if I’m about to throw up, not because it grosses me out but because I start gagging so quickly and I don’t know what to do because I really want to give him an amazing blow job , I tried holding and object near the back of my throat but it still makes me gag! I’m not sure what to do, please help!!!!
Hi Vanessa,
Honestly, it’s really not that big of a deal. There is still so much you can do besides taking him deep. Check out the main blow job guide here for more tips.
I met this guy on a dating site about 6 months ago. Everytime we made plans to meet it seems as work for one of us caused us to cancel. Talking late one night we both decided that we really wanted to meet so we did. We sis have sex that night. I do but I don’t regret it, it was the best sex I’ve ever had in my whole life, and yes I’m over 50! We have had sex a few times a month since. The thing is I’m very attracted to him and I want more of a relationship with him other than the ” friends with benefits” . He says he likes me to but he’s made no attempt to commit. He leads a very busy life with work and his children which I understand that he has responsibilities. He recently stated that he really likes fucking me, we have great sex together, and we make it fun so it’s filled with pleasure experimenting a lot. What can I do to get him to commit to me? Should I stop seeing him and stop the great sex we have found with each other? Please help!
Honestly, it sounds like you just need to have a serious conversation with him about how you feel.
Hi Sean, I’m writing to say that I have been married for 6yrs. I love my husband but he is not the most sexual person. But I’m the super freak. I know my sex is great but he is so not the type to tell me in do many words, to me he is boring in bed. But I love him, and I the sex is fun cause of me. How do I get him more into it, he is trying to be so hard when I know he wants to scream sometimes. I don’t know how to make him be more adventurous in bed. Anything would be great. Thank you.
Hi Tamika, it sounds like you should just talk to him. When you do, you might find that he opens up and shares some kinks and fetishes that you love yourself. Communication is key here.
Hi Sean, I was just wondering how can I let the guy I’m dating know that I want to have sex with him without being too risky. Thanks
Honestly, just start at the start. So start with flirting and see if he reciprocates. If that goes well, progress to getting a bit more touchy with him. And if he seems to enjoy this, then maybe you should try kissing him when you’re both alone and just take it from there.
Hi. I’ve been with this guy for about four months. We never meant to have something serious but now we are in a relationship. We had sex on our first date but now I feel like it’s always the same. I love giving blow jobs (I watched you’re video about them and I actually already use all of those techniques) but every time I try to go down on him he won’t let me! He just grabs me, gets on top and we just have the same sex. Also, I have already let him know that I’d like him to give me oral sex but he’s done it like twice and not for very long, just like 3 minutes and then sex. We both like pregame but I’d love to get him into oral sex! How can I do this?
Have a chat with him, tell him all the wonderful things you’d like to do him so that he’s actually excited about it.
Hello Sean! For the past 7 months my husband of 6 years my husband has been going out with his buddies almost every weekend. We recently had a talk and he says we have lost chemistry but i dont think so and this is why… i started sending him dirty messages telling him i love him but even phone sex and it seems it worked but i still feel he prefers going out with his buddies than be with me. Is there something else i should be doing or could i be doing something wrong? In desperate need of help
Wow, sounds like a difficult situation that you understand better than I do. It would be best to have a frank and honest discussion with your husband about how you’re feeling
Hi Sean. I really love my man and he is great in bed. I give him blow jobs and he goes down on me to. He appreciates my blow jobs but I really want to give him a thrilling blow job that will make him cum so hard and scream very loud. I really can’t get a detailed explanation on how to do that. Can you help me or any one who is aware
Hi Kelly, you’ll find a bunch of super powerful tips on giving him an awesome bj in this video.
Hey,I am in a 5 year relationship and it is kinda boring he keeps every thing the same and I need a way to spice things up a little ty?
Hi Hayley,
The perfect place to start is by joining the newsletter here, you’ll learn a ton!
I’ve tried dirty talk and attempting to give my husband a blowjob several times. He just doesn’t seem to be interested in sex of any form. I’m pregnant and almost always horny, he cllaims that my pregnant belly makes me sexier but he hardly wants to touch me. Any advice on how to get him in bed? All I want is to satisfy him. He always complains that I don’t do enough so what am I doing wrong now?
Hi Sky,
Talk to him in an open and non-confrontational way to see what’s up. It could be that he has something like low testosterone that is affecting his sex drive.
Sean
So I need some help here ladies. I’ve been with my guy going on 2 years. We have great sex!! No problem there. I just have a hard time expressing myself sexually in words. What can I do? I don’t want to lose him because of lack of communication in bed.
Hi there! I’m sexually inexperienced although I am over 40. I’m newly dating a guy who has had a lot of sexual experiences. He has gone to strip clubs, had escorts, was into other kinks, etc. He liked it that I was somewhat innocent and I’m getting more comfortable with him but I think he’s taking it slow with me. I like music and dance and sometimes I just feel like dancing sexy for him but knowing he’s seen many strippers, I’m afraid I’d make a fool of myself! How do I keep him interested when this guy has seen it all and has done it all? Help! (This is not a serious relationship. We’re FWBs.)
The best thing you can do is talk to him and let him know how you feel about it.
Hi Sean,
I recently found out that my husband have been viewing porn websites, would like to know if it is normal for married man to watch porn? we have been in this marriage about 4 years now…is there something i need to work on it? please advise…thank you !
Thankfully, it’s perfectly normal.
Hi try sliding his penis on the side of your mouth. It still hits your mouth and suck on it or just lick the tip
Hi,
I am a bit shy but my boyfriend isn’t really just quiet. I love sex but he loves it wayyy more than I do. I would like to be more open and sexy with him but i always end up shying and kind of afraid to give him the kind of sex he loves to watch on porn sites. I love him and he loves me i know but I would like for once to be his fantasy…. Please help.
Hi Kendra, it sounds like talking to your man is your best option.
Sean
Hi Sean,
I read a reply to someone’s post about enjoying sex more and you replied saying : The first thing is making sure that you can easily orgasm by yourself (without using a vibrator, dildo or excessive pressure). If you can easily orgasm while masturbating, then it’s a case of incorporating what you enjoy and get off on into your sex life.
I find it extremely hard to orgasm by myself- I have to use vibrating wand and dildo. This and butt plug with a vibrator on my clit are literally the only ways I can make myself cum. Obviously this is extremely frustrating when having sex as I hardly ever get to orgasm , unless I sort myself out after whilst he’s touching other parts of my body. So I’ve got two questions-1. Are there any ways that could help me orgasm easier ?
2. How we could make it easier to orgasm when having sex? There are few positions which allow the space for a wand on my clit !!
Thanks 🙂
Hi Emma, it sounds like you’re in a frustrating situation. Certain medications can affect your ability to orgasm, as can nerve damage. Could these be the causes in your case?
Sean
Hi, have the same problem I hardly get orgasm, only when im masturbating. i used to take migraine medication. what can help?
Try talking to your doctor to see if this is the cause.
Sean,
my boyfriend wants me to dirty talk with him during sex but I never know what to say. he doesn’t like the words cock or dick so I don’t know how to be sexy without saying those things like “oh your penis feels so good inside me.” doesn’t sound very sexy in my opinion. I just don’t know what I should say instead. please help!
ask him what he DOES like 🙂
I think the OP is really presenting 2 things. In the examples of types of “Dirty Talk” at the top of the post, some are good examples and others are not really “Dirty Talk.” I get why Sean Jameson presents them as part of a kind of dirty talk spectrum, but I also can see where it could be confusing.
In my opinion, you can express desire, body appreciation, and sexual anticipation, without necessarily being “dirty.” To me talking “dirty” is a bit more extreme and there really are two alternatives. I think that some people have a “kink” for either themselves or their partner talking in language that is not just racy but vulgar. It’s between consenting adults, of course, but they like talking in a way that we might relate more to drunken sailors who have been too long at sea. That is essentially fetish fulfillment.
On the other hand, you can legitimately choose not to use “dirty talk” and still communicate your desire, your passion, your appreciation, just as effectively. All I’m saying is that something I almost never hear being said is that how to turn your partner on without anyone being a “slut” or “whore” or without the use of DICK/PUSSY/CUNT/TITS as some kind of guttural aphrodisiac. The same desires and dynamic are there no matter what language you choose to express them. I just think that I’d like to see effective ways to express these dynamics in BOTH ways more often on the internet.
I have only posted here because think that Sean Jameson actually can address them both (unlike many others)
I have been dating a guy with ED almost a year even living together at one time. While he is great at satisfying me almost always I don’t seem to make him cum sometimes. He says it’s not me its just the way it is with him. We were apart for a month and then he didn’t cum again last night. Any suggestions on how to do better?
Get him to stop masturbating for a few months and it should resolve itself
Hi, I have a small problem.
When I get ontop to ride my man, It’s like I can’t move literally. It’s like I can not position my feet properly. What should I do? Should we try another position?
Try a variation like Asian Cowgirl.
I wanted to thank you! I have been happily married for 15 years. WhIle things are still great for us, I wish I could do more in the bedroom. Like be more engaging, more sexier, more of a turn on. I want things to continue to be great! So, I thought I should up my dirty talk game and landed here looking for ideas. You helped me understand a couple of things. I have been dirty talking. It is the less explicit kind and I had dismissed it as dirty talk. I thought dirty talk had to be vulgar and abrassive. That isn’t me and while my husband could handle vulgar and abrassive, he knows that isn’t me either. The other thing you helped me understand that was how I may be effecting him. I didn’t realize how alluring a subtle comment in a crowded venue can be and I had started leaving my comments at the bedroom door. No more. I will be dusting those off and playing them again! Also, I understood how I can change up my bedroom talk for the variety I was seeking and in a way I am comfortable with. He has responded very well. So thank you!!
hey my man is in prison how can i have phone sex tips on wat to say or write a letter he keeps asking but i dunt wanna say i dunt now how too thanks
Check out the Phone Sex Guide here.
Hi
I’m in an LDR (long distance relationship) with my boyfriend. He lives in another city and we hardly ever meet. Do u have any tips to keep our sex life all heated up even with the distance?
Try Skype sex and sending him some saucy, sexy messages.
Hi
Me and my boyfriend are both facing an important exam and I’m afraid that we won’t have sex as often as we do before is there any way to fix this problem?
Oh and btw he wanted me to say some dirty talk but I’m not really good at it
Hi sean,
I’ve always had this question. On a women, we have a sweet spot, “the clitoris” that will make us orgasm very quickly if sucked, is there a secret spot on a man that will make him blow his load quickly? The head? The frenulum, or mid shaft? And what is a special technique i can use that will definitely get him off? Thank you <3
Usually it’s the top part of his penis. But everyone responds differently, so my advice is to talk to your man and find out what he needs to really get off.
hi Sean. my relationship is just 4months.when ever he is angry. I can’t turn him on.instead he push and shout at me,
hi i am female what type food or fruits i need to eat to have vaginal sweetness
Fruits like pineapple work great
Hey Sean,
I have following been following this site about a year and all tricks and tips have been very useful but is there anyway to talk dirty indirectly?
Of course, it’s called innuendo.
As a man I find this to be very true and this article has helped me and my girlfriend increase our sex life Thanks
Hi my name is adrian
My man is very sexual and constantly want to have sex. We try almost everything in our sex life. How can I be more dirty and sexy with him? I feel bad cause he tells me he gets frustrated and wants me to do more. But there’s days I don’t feel pretty or sexy to give him what he wants what can I do to fill his needs?
Talk to him and let him know about your needs too. Never feel like you *have* to do something. Great relationships are built on two partners contributing equally.
My partner is always busy he dnt have time for me, so what should I do
talk to him!
could you suggest some words like “oh baby, come on, fuck me, taste my pussy” etc. that I may use while having sex with my boyfriend.
Lol, that’s what the article above is all about!
Hi, i enjoy your website. May you please remove this comment. It is slightly inappropriate in my opinion. Thankyou and keep doing what you do.
Stfu remove your boring as commemt
If it bothers you why are you reading The Bad Girls Bible. Personally I found I either already say these things only better because I mean it I think it is mild.
Tell him what you want and you know he wants and go for it. What are you savong your body for? Science?
What? That makes zero sense.. a website that talks about anal sex and blow jobs and you think a comment saying you enjoy this website is inappropriate. That wouldn’t be Inappropriate on a children’s site! Lol
Hi, tash again. May this comment be taken down as i find this inappropriate also. Thankyou very much.
this whole website is inappropriate.
her comment isn’t any different than the others that ask for advice or tips, the only difference is that she’s pregnant, it doesn’t make it any worse than the other comments on this site.
You need to stay off this site then cause everything to you is inappropriate!!!
That is just disturbing and sick you need help yo y would any father want to do that …holy shit u r one sick and twisted piece of work
I found that laying on our sides was the most pleasurable for me when pregnant. Also, the further along I got the more insatiable my desire became.
All of these suggestions put the female in a very submissive role, what about phrases a dominant woman can say to her submissive man? That would be a good list? Maybe
Hi Sean
My question is how do i make him more relaxed with sexting in terms of him taking and sending nude pics to me without him feeling weird about it
Talk to him about it
Hi. I’m in a relationship of 3 years it will be 4 in January. I don’t know exactly how to talk dirty or sexy. I tried but I was too nervous or I couldn’t find the right phrases. Both my boyfriend and me would like to talk dirty while having fun. Any tips?
well.. calling him daddy is a good start. if he wants to talk dirty but isn’t making the move he might secretively be unsure and insecure on whether you actually want to spice up the kinkiness. a good starting scenario is;
“daddy?” see how he responds, “i don’t think i’ve been a good girl. i think i need a lesson.” this will win over his heart and his pene for sure haha
Talk dirty to me if you want me to blow my load immediately. Don’t talk dirty to me if I am a premature ejaculatory. Fuck me, fuck me harder, cum in me, I want your cum, will all do it. Be direct and explicit. We men love your begging for us, or our man juice.
I’m honestly feeling a little nervous as I type this out right now. My boyfriend and I have been together for a while. We are currently expecting our first child (I’m six months along at this point). Our sex life is… very enjoyable, but there are times where I’ve…wanted nothing more than to hear him growl or groan in pleasure. He is a very quiet lover, and sometimes, the quiet makes me feel like HE is not really enjoying what I have to offer. I would love to know if I’m REALLY giving him pleasure or if he’s just…going through the motions. I really don’t know what to do, and would appreciate any advice.
A.
Talk to him and let him know what you are missing and want from him. Communication is the answer 😉
hi so i just started talking dirty to my boyfriend, one night i was pretty drunk and it was fucking rolling off the tongue. but when we finished having sex he said that i was too much, a little bit of a turn off to him. at the same time, he loves dirty talk and the best times we get it on are when i run my mouth with dirt. i want to better myself in this, gain enough confidence, and be damn sexy along with my general cuteness he loves. any tips?
Hi assy. Tell him to slide wet fingers in you slowly to stroke your G spot.Make sure he goes in about an inch and move his fingers foward like saying come here. You will cum for sure