A surprising number of women seem to like being choked during sex – and a few even like choking their partners. Many of their partners are happy to oblige in this activity. This is definitely one activity that presents risks, but that very fact makes it alluring enough for many people to try!
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Choking During Sex Is Dangerous – But Fun!
The main reason why many people never try choking during sex is because of the risk. It’s pretty scary. But fear and arousal are fairly similar, aren’t they?
Choking during sex does cut off airflow to your lungs and brain. It takes just a few seconds before brain tissue becomes permanently damaged. You’ll know you’ve gone too far is your partner blacks out, even if they like it.
Furthermore, choking during sex can lead to life threatening problems like having a stroke, a heart attack or even suffering from brain damage . Choking during sex is not advised for pregnant women, the elderly and people with epilepsy, who are more at risk than healthy adults. Some medical professionals would advise against choking no matter how healthy you are.
In some cases, choking during sex can be fatal. This is especially true for autoerotic asphyxiation, or when you choke yourself. Some people will devise nooses or other structures with slipknots that should ideally allow the body to fall should you black out. However, these fail safes can and do fail, potentially leading to your death.
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Why Choking During Sex?
If choking during sex can be so potentially painful, why do people like it? There are a few reasons.
If you’re the one doing the choking, it can feel especially powerful due to the fact that it’s risky. It can feel empowering because you have to take care of the person on the other end. Sound like something you like? You should definitely check out our tips for dominating your man.
On the other end of the spectrum is being choked, which tends to feel incredibly submissive. It takes a lot of trust to allow someone to do that to you. And the physiological effects, including blacking out (which is definitely dangerous and not recommended) and shortness of breath can enhance the experience.
Related: How to Be Submissive for Your Man
For any couple who is into rape play or another type of forced sex scene, choking during sex fits right in.
Can You Be Choked Safely During Sex?
Generally, the answer is “Yes.” But whoever is doing the choking needs to do it right. This means the most pressure is applied from the fingertips toward the side of the neck, where the arteries are. If you or your partner applies force toward the front of the neck, you’ll crush the windpipe. That’s when you should start to get worried.
Extreme force can break the hyoid bone, which supports your tongue from inside your neck. Although this is rarely lethal, it’s definitely uncomfortable and unhealthy.
As long as the web of your hand between the index finger and thumb isn’t applying pressure, you’re good to go. Remember to apply side-of-the-neck pressure when you add a second hand to the mix. It can be even easier to cut off the windpipe or larynx.
Choking should last between 3 and 5 seconds – and no more! At this point, the lack of oxygen begins to cause permanent brain damage.
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It’s a good idea to devise some sort of safe word/sign if you play choke during sex. You may not be able to speak, so a tap or similar system works well. Learn more about safe words here.
Finally, stick to using your body, which allows you to feel the pressure. Using a noose, tie or another method to choke your partner during sex could turn fatal without the right feedback. This doesn’t mean that choking during sex becomes safe, just a bit safer.
It goes without saying that you should never use something rigid as a choking implement during sex.
Choking For the First Time
Before you go any further, you’ve got to make sure your partner is okay with being choked in bed. Some people just don’t like it, some may have medical conditions that make it even riskier and others may be reminded of past traumas. Choking during sex is definitely not something you should try out of the blue.
Discover actionable tips in our guide to talking about sex, which can help you get everything you want in bed! Consent is vital when it comes to potentially dangerous activities.
As long as you follow these rules, you can enjoy being choked during sex or choking someone else during sex. We recommend doing it the first time during regular sex without a blindfold or ball gag. Trying too much at once can be overwhelming, even if it’s something you’re looking for.
You can attempt it once for no more than 5 seconds, then check in with your partner. If he likes it, you can do it again or save it for the next session. If not, scratch it off your sexual bucket list (Read: The Ultimate Sex Bucket List: 243 Sexy Things You Have to Do in Your Lifetime) and try something else.
There are plenty of ideas on the Bad Girls Bible if you’re not into choking by the way. Try 7 sizzling ways to spice up your sex life.
After Being Choked
If your partner is being careful when choking you during sex, there should be no signs of this activity. Your neck shouldn’t be bruised or sore. There should be no rashes or chafing.
If there is, apply ice to any bruising. Light skin irritation will heal over time, and you can treat abrasions with a topical cream. But be more careful next time!
You should be able to breathe and talk just fine. If you are experiencing difficulty with these things or other long-term side effects, speak to your doctor immediately.
The Best Positions for Choking During Sex
Erotic choking works in almost any position where you can reach your partner’s neck, but a few sex positions work especially well.
- Missionary – The man can reach down to place his hand around his partner’s neck, or the woman can reach up.
- Cowgirl – Choke your man while riding him, or his can reach up to to the same.
- Doggy – Works well if your man leans down over your back while having sex in this position.
You can also be choked during sex from behind, either from your man’s hands or by having him loosely wrap his elbow around your neck like in a sleeper hold. Of course, excessive force could lead to blacking out or even a broken neck, so it’s imperative that you talk about it beforehand so that he’s gentle with you.
Check out positions where you’re in his lap, which work especially well for choking from behind.
Choking During Sex is Too Risky for Me
If you’re not ready to take the jump into choking during sex, don’t feel bad. You may even have a condition that would make choking during sex fatal. You can consider alternatives. For example, your partner could place his hand on your throat without any pressure at all.
Or you could wear a choker or collar that’s snug against your neck but unable of applying enough force to damage your body in any way. Even a necktie can feel erotic in that way. Plus, collars will work well in your BDSM games! Learn more about BDSM and how fun it can be in this post.
Or you can try these 9 kinky sex ideas if choking isn’t for you.
Although being choked while having sex isn’t for everyone, some people love it. However, you need to curb your enthusiasm long enough to make sure you do it right lest you experience real damage from this kinky activity.
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