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This guide will teach you how to be submissive in the bedroom. You’ll learn everything from safety to submissive sex acts to submissive sex positions to aftercare (for when things get really intense!). If you’re ready to jump in, you can go right to the 23 techniques for sexual submission.
Being Submissive in Bed vs Being Submissive in BDSM
Being submissive in bed – Being submissive during sex in bed is slightly different from BDSM submission. Being submissive during sex means:
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- Allowing your partner to take the lead, and following
- Tapping into the bratty, primal, or even the masochistic side of your personality during sex
- Exploring consensual non-consent during sex
- Submitting sexually – I’m talking about things like being spanked, giving a blow job, being restrained in bondage during sex (17 exciting bondage positions), etc
BDSM submission – Being a submissive in a BDSM relationship can overlap with being submissive in bed. But…
BDSM submission often extends far outside the bedroom and even go as far as a 24/7 total power exchange relationship, throughout your everyday life. BDSM and D/s relationships sometimes don’t even involve sex.
For more information on BDSM submission, check out our guide on how to be a good submissive during BDSM play.
Have Fun.. Safely
Submitting in the bedroom can be tons of fun, but it can also be risky. Playing smart can minimize the risks so you don’t find yourself in a situation that you’ll regret.
Make sure to do a little research about any activity or tool you want to try so you’ll know how to proceed safely.
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Useful: 8 vital BDSM safety rules.
Understand Consent vs Coercion
Being submissive doesn’t mean that you’re passive and powerless.
Submissives hold the power – Some people even say that submissives hold all the power and can take it back at any time. Whether that’s true, anything you do in the bedroom you should do only because you want to and you can give informed consent, not because someone has forced, nagged, or otherwise coerced you into doing something.
Read next: How to give informed consent during sex.
Only play with those who understand consent – In fact, someone who wants to dominate you without getting your consent or figuring out how to play safely likely isn’t a safe person for you to be a submissive with… even if they’re your partner or spouse.
Communication
Communication is necessary in any relationship, sexual or otherwise. Submissive sex is no exception.
Why communication is important – Communication is how you’ll let your partner know what you want, what you like, when you need a break, and so much more.
Full guide: How to communicate sexually with your partner for better sex.
Quick Quiz: Do You Give Lousy Blow Jobs?
If you are new here, then you may want to take the quiz below to learn how good you are at giving oral sex and satisfying your man. You may discover you that you suck (pun intended) or that you are already a blow job queen.
Some of the things you might cover when you talk about your submission kink include:
- Things you won’t do or aren’t ready to do (BDSM limits)
- How you’ll check in and how often
- Previous sexual trauma that you don’t want to trigger
- Whether it’s okay to leave marks
Safe words
Safe word – A safe word is a pre-agreed word/phrase you can say to pause or end your submissive sex.
Safe signal – A safe signal is an action that you perform when you want to pause or end submissive sex. A safe signal could be
- Tapping your partner’s body
- Ringing a bell
- Dropping a ball
Safe words and safe signals allow you to stop things and prevent yourself from getting hurt.
While typically used by the submissive, a dominant can have a safe word, too. It’s important that you trust your partner to listen to your safe word. Otherwise, it’s useless, and you’re not actually safe.
Go to our guide to safe words for more in-depth help on this.
Start Small, Go Slow
We always recommend starting small, proceeding slowly, and ramping up to more intense or kinky stuff in bed. This helps you avoid potential injuries or other negative experiences that could turn you off from being submissive in bed for good.
Intense Squirting: You can learn how to squirt effortlessly and with intense pleasure if you use the right techniques. If you're interested in learning how to squirt (alone and with your partner), you may want to check out the Squirting Magic guide.
Example of starting slow – This means trying out a blindfold and bondage or gag separately for the first time, even though it might not sound like a big deal to use them together right from the start. It can be incredibly overwhelming if you actually do that. When you’re comfortable with using them alone, you can try them together.
Another example – Start with a light spanking before getting more intense. Also, make sure your partner knows how to use anything they pick up. If they’re careless, even if they don’t mean to be, they could hurt you.
Related: Light bondage ideas.
Different Types of Submissive Sex
There are different ways to be submissive during sex. My advice is to try some of the submission types below before choosing the one that fits your personality best.
Bratty – Brat submission can range from a little sassy pushback to outright disobedience, especially if you love the attention and punishment that follow. It can be fun to wrestle, sometimes literally, for power in the bedroom.
Speaking of punishment, check out these 16 BDSM punishments.
Primal – If you’re more into animalistic sounds, biting, and shedding your everyday responsibilities in bed, tapping into your primal submissiveness might be for you.
Masochistic – A masochist is someone who enjoys receiving pain.
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I’m talking about wanted and anticipated pain.
So this type of sex would involve receiving pain, whether it’s from impact play or figging or something else.
Go deeper: What is sadism & masochism?
Consensual non-consent – CNC is a type of sex where you give permission prior to the act but not necessarily in the moment. It’s not just rape play, either. Sex while you’re asleep, drunk, high, or while you’re “kidnapped” are all examples of CNC.
There’s more: Check all 18 types of submission to get inspired.
Trust Is a Must
Before you can really unleash your sexually submissive side, you have to trust your partner. Kinky sex like this can be risky, both emotionally and physically. So…
You need to know that your partner not only has your best interests in mind but also has the capacity to respond well if something goes wrong.
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Because of this, it’s usually not a good idea to get into kinkier sex with someone you don’t know well. So you may want to avoid one-night stands. However…
A regular sex partner, friend with benefits, or your romantic partner should know you well enough that you can trust them. You can increase that trust in the beginning by doing a little safety research, and it should grow over time as you play safely together.
Encourage Your Partner’s Dominance
If you want to encourage your partner to be (more) dominant in the bedroom, you can use phrases like the following.
- I love(d) it when..
- You bring out my submissive side in bed
- I just like pleasing you
- There’s something so hot when you.. [hold me down, etc]
- You’re the boss
Want more ideas like this? Check out these submissive things to say in bed.
Being Direct When You Want to Submit in Bed
If you’ve never talked about being submissive in bed, your partner might need you to be more direct.
This can mean telling them you want to submit (and explaining why), asking for specific things, and offering encouragement after they dominate you sexually. Here are a few things you can say to be more direct:
- I want to feel your dominance tonight
- I want to feel you pinning me down
- I want you to use me tonight
This can be especially important if your partner associates being dominant with being disrespectful or they are afraid of hurting you. The funny thing is that:
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Exploring new things is one way to be respectful.
23 Submissive Techniques During Sex
1. Prioritizing Partner’s Pleasure
Focusing on making your partner feel good can be an incredibly submissive thing to do, especially if you try to anticipate their needs ahead of time. You could even go to the extent of body worship if that’s your thing.
Folks who have a foot fetish often engage in some body worship.
2. Openness to Direction
Being open to direction, to being told what to do, is a great way to be submissive during sex.
- When your partner asks you to move into a new sex position, do it.
- When they ask you to get down on your knees and eat their pussy or deep throat them, do it
- When they ask you to give them a hand job or finger their pussy, do it
You can even make a game out of it similar to “Simon Says.”
3. Getting on Your Knees
Getting on your knees is a powerful move. Not only does it put you in a position to give head (10 incredible blow job positions), but it also signifies your partner’s superiority.
You don’t need to wait until you’re giving oral sex, either. You can drop to your knees at any time!
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4. Eye Contact
There are multiple ways to use eye contact to be more submissive in bed:
- Look up at your partner while going down on them
- Break eye contact first
- Keep your gaze downward and do not make eye contact unless instructed or given permission
More help on this: How to comfortably and confidently make eye contact during sex.
5. Going in for the Kiss
This is a subtle move that can work just as well on an early date as it does when you’re learning how to be submissive for your partner in bed. By bringing your mouth close to your partner’s but letting them kiss you, they are “technically” the one initiating the kiss.
This attitude also works for a lot of other kinky things too. For example:
- You could surprise your partner by wearing something sexy that you know turns them on (lingerie, etc), but you still wait for them to make the first move.
- You could try sleeping naked in the bed and cuddling up next to them for “warmth,” but still wait for them to make the first move.
6. Asking for Directions
Along with taking directions, you can ask for directions. This ensures you’re doing exactly what your partner likes — and how they like it.
- Tell me how to please you
- I just want to give you as much pleasure as possible. What can I do to make that happen?
- Where/how do you want me to touch you?
7. Clothing
What you wear, or don’t wear, can help set the mood for submissive sex.
- You might be fully naked while your partner is dressed
- You can wear move submissive clothing. Revealing clothing works great for appearing submissive
- Let your partner choose your clothing
- Allow your partner to undress you
- Wear dresses or skirts (without panties) to keep yourself accessible to them
- Choose clothing that can be manhandled, ripped, or even used for bondage
8. Naked Presentation
What better sight than you opening the door naked after they ring the bell or enter the room? Experiment with positions to make yourself look seductive, vulnerable, and overall submissive.
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9. Massage
Massage is a great way to show your partner your submissiveness. Check out our tips for a general sensual massage. Alternatively, you can try giving your partner a yoni or lingam massage.
10. Oral Sex
Oral sex is naturally submissive. It’s hard to give bad oral sex to your partner, but it’s also hard to give them the best oral sex of their lives…
To be the best they ever had.
These blowjob techniques and these 85 techniques to give a girl great head will help bring your oral skills to the next level
And if you really want to challenge yourself, try doing it completely hand-free or while in bondage.
11. Body Worship
Body worship is a kinky practice that involves intense admiration of your partner’s body and often specific body parts. It can involve physical stimulation from rubbing to kissing or licking. You might dress it up, take photos of it, or even wax poetic about it.
Worshipping your partner’s body is one way to be submissive, and some people are especially drawn to specific body parts like your ass, penis/vulva, hands, muscles, etc.
12. Wrist Restraint
Wrist restraint is the tip of the iceberg when it comes to bondage.
Now…
When you are exploring how to be submissive, you don’t have to go out and buy bondage gear for restraining your wrists. Your partner can hold your wrists down with their hands to prevent you from moving.
If that submissive sex idea sounds like too much soon, don’t worry. You can experiment with mental bondage, where you try to restrain yourself through willpower alone, no matter what your partner does to you.
Check out our bondage guide for beginners to learn more.
13. Submissive Dirty Talk
Even if you don’t necessarily act differently in bed, certain dirty talk phrases or words can practically transform the atmosphere! So pepper these in if you want to be sexually submissive:
- Use me
- I just want to please you
- Please
- I’m a dirty little slut/whore
We’ve got a whole Dirty Talking Guide if you want more phrases like this!
But you don’t necessarily need to say specific things to sound submissive. A pleading or begging tone of voice, whimpering, and speaking more girlishly can all hit the right buttons for someone, as long as you’re comfortable doing it.
Or you can play innocent to let your partner be the sexual deviant who corrupts you.
14. Blindfolds
Blindfolds and submissiveness practically go hand in hand. When you’re wearing one, you’re left in suspense, wondering what your partner will do next. It can force you to focus on your other senses to figure out what’s happening around you–and what will happen to you…how submissive!
15. Biting and Scratching
Biting your partner and scratching them is not just for dominants.
As a submissive, you can bite and scratch your partner, too! Think about it.
Biting and scratching can be ways your body naturally responds to rough thrusting, intense pleasure, and startling actions.
As always, it’s a good idea to let your partner know if you are likely to do this BEFORE sex.
Go deeper: How to be a freak in the sheets.
16. Hair Pulling
Having your hair pulled during sex is a pretty typical activity for a submissive. And don’t think it’s impossible because you have shorter hair, either! Unless it’s buzzed, nearly all hair can be pulled.
Once someone safely has your hair in hand, they can tug it to pull you wherever they want you.
17. Spanking
Getting spanked during sex can help you be more submissive in bed in multiple ways. Spanking itself can be a dominant action from your partner that causes pain. It can also be used as a punishment to correct behavior.
But spanking doesn’t need to be so intense that you can’t sit afterward. It’s totally okay if you prefer a few light taps.
18. Slapping
While spanking typically focuses on your ass, there are other parts of the body that make great targets for hitting.
You’ll definitely feel dominated when your partner slaps your face or breasts.
Full guide: Slapping during sex.
19. Submissive Sex Positions
Some sex positions feel more submissive than others. This might be because your partner is on top of you or because the position lets them manipulate your body or force eye contact with you. Try these ones:
- Missionary – The OG works well as a submissive sex position because your partner will be on top of you. Missionary position is also great if you like clitoral stimulation during sex.
- Doggy – Not only can Doggy Style be submissive because of how your partner can grab your body, it also offers G-spot stimulation for many women. Plus, it leaves your butt free for spanking!
- Turtle – This variant on Doggy Style has you pull your knees to your chest and wrap your arms around the back of your knees, making your body smaller and more submissive.
- Prone bone – Prone bone isn’t just submissive. It’s a deeply intimate sex position where your bodies make significant contact, and your partner’s mouth will be close to your ear to whisper sweet nothings or growl sexy commands.
- Anvil – This position can make you feel submissive because it can be uncomfortable. Your partner can also grip your ankles for more purchase while thrusting and push them further back to go deeper.
You can also experiment with the position your body is in, especially with the help of bondage. For example, having your legs (and potentially arms) spread wide leaves you vulnerable to your partner’s whims.
20. Anal Sex
For some people, anal sex is a more submissive sex act than vaginal intercourse. This may be because it’s often more taboo and done less frequently or because, in some cases, it’s really about letting your partner experience pleasure even if you don’t get much out of it yourself.
Related: 82 Men Explain Why Guys Like Anal Sex
Of course, many women find anal sex physically pleasurable in addition to making their partners feel good. And you can take steps to have pain-free anal sex if that’s a concern.
21. Free Use
So you think you’ve mastered how to be submissive in bed? Take it up a notch by letting your partner use you freely. Free use is an activity where your partner can take you anytime and in any way as long as it’s safe and they listen if you revoke consent or use your safeword.
Free use assumes you’ve previously consented, similar to consensual non-consent.
22. Choking
When it comes to things you can try in the bedroom, choking is more extreme, and that’s because it’s potentially dangerous. Not everyone is into choking, but if you are or might be, check out our guide to choking during sex to learn more.
23. Roleplay
Roleplaying can be a great way to be submissive in bed if you’re not super confident about how to do it. Instead of figuring out who you are as a submissive, you can play a more submissive role or even one like a prisoner, where subservience is ordered/forced. The phrase “I surrender” becomes powerful here.
You can even get creative and pretend you’re a puppet!
More: 42 sex roleplay ideas and 35 BDSM ideas.
Aftercare
While you’ll usually hear about aftercare in the context of BDSM, it can be useful after any sexual activity because it lets you return to your baseline self and your everyday life. After all, there is nothing better than basking in the afterglow of sex!
As a sexual submissive, you might need aftercare that deals with potential injuries and reconnects you to your partner. The latter is often helpful for dominants, too, who can feel bad about what they’ve done to a submissive… even if you cried and begged for it.
So take a moment for aftercare to end your experience on a positive note.
Now you’ve got a good idea what it means to be submissive during sex and how to be submissive sexually. All you need to do is make sure your partner’s on the same page and try it out!
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Girlfriend of 15 years was interested in the rough sex being controlled and liked the idea of being submissive we wanted to spice up our relationship without someone feeling unsafe. ..reviewed lots of stuff on the web but some truly scared her. ..we found this page and after reading this together and setting boundries we found it was both empowering and informative. …submission comes with trust and respect. ..we both were comfortable there so this article was just what we needed…thanks so much…
Great write up
Thank you!
I am new to having so much adventure in my life. I absolutely enjoy sex and exploring the possibilities. The man or female should pass along certain actions based on preference. The dominant I wold love to have in my life would be someone who easily sneaks up behind me as he/she rolls their fingers around my neck and start to squeeze tight. I need to hear you breathing heavy in my ear and when your lips connect for a kiss i do expect a hard kiss against my lips. I love being tied up and at the mercy of my companion!
I’m new at being the submissive girlfriend. My Dom is experienced. I’m at a loss, and want to be the absolute best.
It might be best to talk to him and look for guideance.
How do i bring it up in a way that doesnt freak him out? Im so down for all of this and enjoy it so much… I feel as if this is something i need more than i want.. I dont want to live a vanilla life. I need excitement when it comes to sex..
Talk to him. I always recommend dipping your toes in the water first before you dive deeper.
I don’t think this would freaking him out… Explain everything to him tell him what your interested in… It was really hard to explain how I like things and communication is the key to a Dom and sub life style. There are also different levels to it. It can get pretty dark but that’s only if you want it too… Its pretty much up to you on how far your willing to go and how much your willing to try and keep and open mind….
My Dom and I have argued for 4 years over swinging. I’m not into it. Now he wants to divorce me.
Then he was not a good Dom. A good Dom respects boundaries.
It’s part of getting his ego trip.
For men, everything in life is about the ego. Not putting anyone down. Just a fact.
After all U have seen a been through in this life, I recommend that you do what brings you the most joy, and avoid anyone who interferes with that joy.
I am new to all this submissive world and I’m very interested in learning to b submissive. But I’ve also have had a couple of abusive relationship is being a sub good for me or should I just give it up.I’m very confused about all of this. Is there anything answer for me so I don’t make the wrong choice and end up ruining my friendship. .
Hi Yvette, the most important thing is finding someone who you can trust fully before getting into a relationship with them. Then take it from there.
I’m glad to have come across this article. I’ve been a sub for my dom the past 5 years, it’s mostly been over texting & once in awhile in person. Since I’m still inexperienced, Im eager to know & want more. I want to build more trust with him, so I try talking to him, then he either goes MIA for a period of time or tells me no questions & im only to do as he says. Now he’s adamant that I sub with another woman & this frustrates me cos he knows I’m not into that. I told him if we had something more that I’d be all in, but I don’t feel as though I can trust him 100% and all he says to me is that it’ll be hot. So I’m conflicted, I love him and have submitted to everything he’s wanted me to do & it has been hot. But since I don’t seem to get anything in return, I told him at this point in our relationship I’m not comfortable bringing in a 3rd person into our play.
If you aren’t getting anything in return, why would you do it? If he loves you (which seems to be in question here) he would want for you to be comfortable.
Wow. You’re being used and disrespected. Giving %100 and receiving crumbs when it’: clear that huh want more. It made me tear up yo read your reply. Please leave this relationship. And may you find someone who can meet some (or all) of your needs. Not just someone who is a taker at his conscience with no regard for you.
Interested in beginning this type of relationship. No experience other than preference for rougher sex. Any tips or advice is appreciated.????
the problem I have is I am the dominate in overall life where as my husband is more submissive. I want to be the submissive in our sex lives, but he’s unsure of himself because he doesn’t have the day to day dominance that most men have. I wish there was a step by step book he could read to learn to be dominate in the bedroom.
Alisha,
My wife and I am in a similar situation. She is an emergency physician and I stay home with the kids. I am in touch with power and have had positions of high responsibility before kids so it is somewhat easy to touch. It is possible that yours is naturally submissive but my guess is that he is just confusing social roles with psychological power/dominance. Do you see dominant traits in him? Verbalize them to him…make him believe his masculinity turns you on. Practice some worship. Make sure he believes you see them in him. You should be able to bring the man out of him. In our home it has gone full contract, full submission. And we are wildly happy and having better sex than the first years of marriage. It can work. In fact, if roles are reversed in “real life” there is the aggressive energy right there that will light the fire you need. He NEEDS to dominate you. It sounds like he just doesn’t yet believe he “can.”
Ive been seeing this guy for almost 20yrs and we’ve. Done all of this.. I never new there were names for stuff like this. Its still going strong. We are in are 50s(51) and I still get exited knowing im going to see him.. Recommend the roleplay..
I agree with your advise here. We have a very loving relationship > 5 years and planning our wedding now. We have around the clock Dom/sub relationship. She addresses me both by my name and “Sir”. I do the same, usually calling her “little girl” or her name in public and “master’s whore, or bitch” during playtime. Respect, trust, and boundaries are essential. I am very careful with punishment. I want her excited, tingling in anticipation, and soaking wet. I play until she begs me to finish. We our both very happy and just can’t wait to come home from work. Oh we are medical professionals.
I need some help . My Dom we have exchanged a few words here and there over a year . I have been very nervous to meet in person . I will in 2 weeks . He said I will be bruised and beat and He is going to choke me . Now should I have a red flag that first session sounds like a lot ? I have talked to him recently on the phone . He has started to control my orgasm This is the first time ever being a sub and just leaving a very vanilla relationship . He wants me to come to his home . I’m new to this area and don’t know much . I want this so much I been wanting something for years and unimaginative men have bored me . I’m in my 40 feel 25 . I want this to be real . I’m nervous and excited but don’t want to regret this either .
Being a Dom, if you have any concern then don’t go this path. Being a Sub is about TRUST. If this has not been established then RUN. This sounds like a first encounter and for a powerful Dom may just overwhelm both parties. My gf, now fiancé was vanilla and wanted something different and after COMMUNICATION we have embarked down the neopolitan path. It’s a matter of her learning what she likes, desires and expectation. Your Dom is not taking you into account. I wish you could chat with her.
Hi sean, I hope you have some advice for me.
My men and I have tried a bit here and there and it really got us off, especially me! However, he doesn’t seem to be able to let him self go completely although he says he wants to. We have talked about it, he is not much of a talker, and he says he finds it scary to have so much control. Even with the safe words. I have explained to him that that is just what makes me so hot but he still is holding back, a lot. It’s been a few weeks since we had this talk and since than we stopped having sex all to gather and not for lack of trying from my part. It’s been a month by now and all he says to it he is not in the mood. Do you have some tips for me on how to make him comfortable again? I’m kinda at a loss right now..
Thanks!
Talk to him. Find out if there is something bothering him and see if you can help resolve it. Also keep in mind that certain medications and mental health problems can inhibit his sex drive.
sex life for the past few months have -I’ve felt- gotten in a bit of a normative rutt. (doing the same things etc) and I think its because I have felt my partner has been sitting back and letting me do the controlling of where the sex goes. I kind of blamed him for the slightly boring sex life (hes also on anti-depressants and sometimes very monotone expression, hard to tell if hes truly into things your doing sexually) but whilst I think this has played a part, I kind of realized reading this how I am just naturally more of a submissive partner, or at least a bottom. I might be able to initiate and lead but to TRULY get me off I need to be 100% convinced my partner wants me, and the best way to do that is to take control, take my body and show me how much he wants to use it for his own pleasure. So its gotten boring also because I’m at a loss where to take the sex, because I need him to just take me and to follow his lead.
Luckily recently when we were in bed leading our intimacy towards sex ( we were initiating foreplay), he flipped me over and did it doggy style (which is normal sometimes) but with a roughness that’s been lacking since the honeymoon phase, and then for the first time (or at least the first time doing it hard enough and long enough to be memorable) he grabbed my hair and pulled it back, just enough for it to hurt but I guess when your turned on in those submissive positions pain is kind of a kink.not only this but grabbed my arms and pulled them backwards making my hands grab his waist. This was also accompanied by dirty talk.
Whilst I really enjoyed this change, I was also taken aback by this sudden change in behaviour, that thinking back I had signs of, but was never totally pronounced as it has been recently. It made me go, wo I thought I knew him, but I guess I didnt. When I asked him about it he told me it was always there and idk, to why its come about now. I guess it made me really want to understand him. I guess you could read a thousand articles but your partner is unique, and there are so many factors as to why change now. I guess he too felt the rut of our sex lives recently.
Its given me a glimpse into the deep sexual fantasy and drives of my boyfriend and mine, a world you think you know but never really. I never thought or appreciated being submissive until he surprised me. I would like to understand more about this side of him, but sometimes hes just so closed, and sometimes I feel like getting him to talk about him makes him not exactly uncomfortable like hes embarrassed, but anxious, like hes afraid his fantasies are too much or little for my own. (he told me he hated it when his ex would ask him what his fantasies were because he felt pressured into saying something really hot, when i just don’t think he spends a lot of time thinking about elaborate stuff)
Thanks for the post, at first I was afraid his change of behavior was a sign of him cheating, or acting fantasies hes had for new women he may be emotionally cheating with. But honestly I know deep down that is just not the case and this post has just reaffirmed that this should be EMBARRASSED! (Not questioned) and this is a real opportunity to transform our sex life. (that was good but very prone to habits and simplicity) No time in life to over analyse the shit about this, if you enjoy it fucking throw your self into it.
I have experienced 9 others prior to my current bf. I hate to get personal but in ‘09 I faced a four month coma and that ‘forever’ fled while he could by finding from what I know of, 13 other girls. I couldn’t get over him at first considering he stopped my friendship list from growing ? I have now been blessed with an indescribable fairytale who is completely dedicated to being an engineer with computers and I need to please him more than anything! I have never done much to whomever I dated besides I personally am aware that my ‘head’ is mind blowing, haste experienced 69… anal and I really am not sure of other roles to play/stories to imagine… this one respects me SŌ much which is amazing but I really want to be on his mind when I’m not around~
The Bad Girls Bible newsletter is a great place to start.
What are some ways to act like a bad girl to provoke punishment as a sub
Talk to your dom about this and figure out what works for both of you…being bratty? Disobeying his/her orders? etc
Is it ever ok for a submissive to seduce her Sir/master and initiate foreplay that leads to sex? Like example, Sir/Master is laying on the bed, or just sitting, and the sub starts kissing on them, making eye contact and showing that she wants him? This is in regards to a long term relationship Dom and Submissive life style.
My gf and I have been practising her being submissive in sex. Often we have very animated sex which she likes. But no matter what sex we do she never reaches orgasm and always uses her vibrator to reach orgasm. She is a bit of a control freak and I think this is a way for her to let go. She admits that she would like to let go of her controlling ways but often time she gets stressed and angry when she feels out of control. We started with her offering submissive sex but then we discussed that I would initiate the requirement for sex and instruct her in how I want her. For example I will tell her to take off her clothes and go and lie on the bed with legs apart and mouth open. I then come in and put on a condom. I will tongue kiss her and push in and have sex with her. She has to lie silently with her arms at her side while I have sex with her. After I have finished I pull out and lie beside her and we hold hands. Then she will get her vibrator and have her orgasm.
Female orgasm can be a very complicated thing. Having great communication will go a long way as well as checking out the Orgasm Guide.
Some please help me! I have this helpless desire to be spanked. Now i think me and my man are on the right path towards this concidering we already do incorpirate very light dominate and submissive behavior. Very early in our relationship he talked about having names for each other that would determine when we would be in a more sexual mood. When he calls me baby girl i know i must respond with daddy.( he picked the names). We also include light choking and lots of facefucking where he makes me keep my hands behind my back or else. But or else never happens. I just want to take it the next step further and maybe add some restraints in there.and most of all its a big fantasy of mine to have him lay me across his lap pull down my underwear and have his way with my bottom. Lets just say i really like the idea of being his submissive little sex slave and he has been showing major signs of being very dominate which attracts me very well i just need a way to tell him how submissive i really want to be.
If it were me, I would leave him a blank note card with a handwritten message: “Daddy, if you like, you can restrain me and have your way with my ass. You can tie my wrists to the headboard of the bed. Please feel free to fuck my asshole as hard as you want and as deep as you want. I am willing to submit to bondage and severely painful anal sex. Why? Because I am dying to maximize your pleasure at any cost.
Signed, Baby Girl
Just make sure to you both enthusiastically consent to these things first and agree on a safe word beforehand.
I’m in a new relationship, 14 mos. but we haven’t had sex. He is 46 yrs old, I’m 43 and still at peek.
He has done it all with sex and I’m still looking exploring. When we met up after all these years, he said that I’m the sex pot he has always wanted. If his stamina and sex drive was back, I would be in trouble. First three months was sexy, we would kiss, a lot of oral and I’d get the BEST orgasms and I would give him blowjobs and swallow. Now…I want to tell him that I’d like to dress up, role play and be sexy out with vibrating panties at dinner but how do I approach when he won’t get to enjoy. How best do I look at this and approach. Need help!?!?!?
Hello I’m confused and I need to know someones opinion. Me and my boyfriend have been together for five years now. Before we met I wasn’t into giving oral sex but since we’ve been together i enjoy giving and he enjoys receiving. He says he doesn’t believe that he was my first. Anyway 2 years ago he cheated on me with two other women. And one of the women actually gave him a rim job. He said thats what he liked about her. So whenever i asked him about doing it he told me that I’m not that type of person and that he had more respect for me than to let me go there. Why wont he let me do it? He wants to do me all the time so I at least wanted to try but if i go pass his penis he stops me. What is it?
It’s almost impossible for me to tell you exactly what to do as I don’t your relationship as well as you do. You need to talk to him.
The fact that he cheats and lets another woman give him a rim job suggests that he likes things that are taboo. I am a 22-year-old woman and my boyfriend loves things that are taboo. For example, he forbids me to wear panties when we go out for dinner, and after our meal he always drives me to a public place that is at least somewhat dark at night, such as a park or a tennis court or a church parking lot. Then, he has vaginal and anal sex with me in that public place, which is taboo and exciting because there is always about a 2% chance that someone will see us, and maybe a 1% chance that they might recognize one of us. Sometimes, he has throat sex with me, causing me to puke several times until he manages to ejaculate inside of my throat. Occasionally, he will ask me to suck on his penis while he urinates inside of my throat, causing me to swallow an entire load of his urine. I am submissive and always happy to indulge his desires, even if I need to endure humiliation, degradation, or even pain in order to maximize his pleasure. But he typically ejaculates several times during a session, and as his girlfriend I find that very satisfying for me.
One either is a slut, or they are not. There is no in between. You can be one person’s slut, or a slut to many. Being a slut is something you are born to do, or not do. It requires being submissive, it requires not just being used by someone else, but allowing it, encouraging it, enjoying it, welcoming it. It requires that you give another person to power to step all over your dignity. You cannot have dignity and be a good slut. It requires an agreement that the pleasure of the slut is attainable only by pleasuring and serving the dominant partner. It means understanding that you, the slut, are there to please your partner, and not the other way around. You can get off later, often on your own time, and after you have served your partner to the best of your ability. You may be told to keep quiet, to speak only when permitted, to sexually please and then leave without an expectation of gratitude. To prepare your partner a coffee on your way out the door, but do get out until you are called back for service. You are there for the dominant one, and you accept that as your fate.
Are you sure you can’t be dominant and a slut?
I am a 25-year-old woman and submissive by nature. I was 19 when I first met my current and only boyfriend. He introduced me to fellatio, cunnilingus, vaginal sex, anal sex, throat sex, cum swallowing, golden showers, piss swallowing, bondage, and belt whipping. I have signed a contract, consenting to giving him full control of my body during our nightly sex sessions that last up to 4 hours. We have agreed to no permanent injuries, but he is permitted to inflict severe pain as long as the infliction ends by or before the end of our 4-hour session.
One suggestion is that if you enjoy someone being dominant you must show it if you can or come out and say it. My wife knows I enjoy her placing a plug in my rear and I love it when she’ll give me orders and tasks she thinks must be done after she puts it in. She’s even said that maybe I should go out and find a boyfriend. It’s all kinky role play.