103 Submissive Things To Say To Your Dom

You’re going to learn 103 submissive things to say to your dom in bed, during a scene, or even while texting them. I’ve made separate lists of example submissive phrases for brats, masochists, slaves, pleasure subs, as well as a list of phrases that apply to most types of subs.

You’ll learn how to say the right things for every situation and relationship, so you’ll feel more confident as a sub. You can also skip right to the submissive phrases and responses.

The things you do and say in a BDSM scene or power exchange relationship can help you get into a submissive headspace and reinforce the flow of power between you and a partner, which can help you be more submissive. They’re also helpful if you’re playing specific roles, much like wearing a costume can help you feel more comfortable in your role.

Read next: 35 wild BDSM role playing ideas.

Because what you say to your dom can turn him on, the ideas below can also serve as submissive dirty talk to turn on your dom and you!

Considerations When Talking to Your Dom

A healthy power exchange relationship or BDSM scene requires trust, great communication, respect, and consent.

Related: The Ultimate Guide to BDSM Contracts

Although you might be the submissive, you still have a responsibility toward your partner, the dominant. While you don’t necessarily need to ask permission to say everything, you should avoid going beyond your partner’s limits.

Deep dive: BDSM limits (hard & soft limits).

Obviously, you should avoid saying things that could be truly hurtful or cruel or speaking out of anger. Keep feelings like that separated from your D/s relationship or BDSM lifestyle.

Choosing What to Say to Your Dom

The things you say to your dom will vary because there are different types of domination and submission (also known as dynamics). In the lists of phrases below, you’ll find ideas for how to talk to your dominant based on your own submissive style, starting with general things to say and moving to bratty things to say and beyond.

A lot of things you can say to your dom work in a variety of submission and relationship types, and others can easily be adapted with a change of tone or word. For example, a “Yes, Ma’am” can be a respectful acknowledgment of a command when said earnestly or a form of mocking when sarcastic. Don’t be afraid to get creative when talking to your dom!

Things to Say to Your Dom

General Dom/Sub Dynamics

Here are some general submissive things to say to your dom. They work well if you don’t have a specific dynamic beyond Dom/sub and can be adapted to the dynamics below.

1. Yes, ma’am/sir
2. Thank you (upon receiving a punishment or reward) – list of 16 BDSM punishments
3. You own me
4. I’m yours to do with as you please
5. I want to feel your cock in my mouth/throat – 11 deep throating tips & techniques
6. I want to be between your legs/for you to be between my legs
7. I missed you so much
8. I love your [body part]
9. I love how you do [action]
10. Please
11. I trust you
12. I’m so lucky to be yours
13. I can’t wait until you use me
14. Am I your good girl?
15. How may I please you?
16. I feel safe with you
17. May I [action]?
18. You’re in charge
19. It would be my pleasure
20. As you wish
21. Your wish is my command
22. I am yours
23. I’ll be good
24. It’s an honor to serve you
25. I hope I made you proud
26. I’ll do my best
27. Tell me how to be better
28. The only reward I need is your happiness/satisfaction/pleasure – Pleasure your man with these 15 techniques.

You can also use nicknames or refer to yourself as your dom’s slut, whore, cum slut/guzzler, especially with words such as naughty, dirty, horny and/or depraved.

Brat Tamer/Brat

If you’re more of a brat sub, you might say sassy and bratty things that push against your dom’s authority instead of immediately obeying them. A brat often wants their dom to forcibly take control and/or prove they’re worth submitting to.

Learn more about brat submission and BDSM.

As mentioned before, sarcasm can be your best friend while exploring this kinky dynamic. You can also argue slightly, especially if you’re playful or flirty. Imagine saying these phrases below with a cheeky grin or smirk. Most brats love to tease a dom (24 ways to tease your man)!

1. No
2. I don’t wanna
3. You’ll never tame me
4. Make me/You can’t make me
5. Prove it
6. I don’t think so
7. Cute (condescendingly)
8. Try again
9. I’d like to see you try
10. I dare you
11. You don’t scare me
12. Yes, I did (when asked if you did something naughty)
13. Try and stop me
14. That all you got?
15. I’ll think about it (in response to a command)
16. I can do this all day
17. Nice try
18. Why?
19. What are you going to do about it?
20. (During a punishment) When does the punishment start?

Try laughing and rolling your eyes to really get your dom going. Resisting physically also pairs well with the bratty things to say above.

Sadist/Masochist

A masochist likes receiving pain and in BDSM or D/s that pain is usually physical. As a masochist, you can ask what you’d like directly. But if you’re also a little bratty, you might misbehave to get your dom to give you the pain you want. Keep in mind that a true sadist might not let you have the pain you desire!

1. Please hurt me
2. Can I have another (after a paddling)?
3. Is that all you got?
4. That doesn’t even hurt
5. (Sarcastically) No, don’t!
6. (Sarcastically) Not another spanking.
7. Thank you (for pain/punishment)
8. I love it when you hurt me
9. More
10. Harder, please
11. I’ve been bad and need to be punished
12. I know you want to spank me

Learn: What is sadism and masochism and how to explore it.

Master/Slave

The M/s dynamic is usually more strict than the D/s dynamic, often with a service element. As a result, the things you say will usually be more obedient and submissive, unlike the bratty things to say above.

1. I am at your service
2. Yes, Master/Mistress (or other honorific)
3. Would you like [service or item]?
4. You own me
5. I live to serve you

Many people consider it the same as 24/7 total power exchange (TPE), where you’re always in your dynamic. Because of this, you may need to show your submissiveness during everyday interactions and when others are around. In those situations, choosing a less obvious thing to say to your dom helps your dynamic go unnoticed.

In some TPE relationships, the slave cannot speak until spoken to. It’s also a common rule that a slave must look down at the ground unless requested/commanded to look up and/or make eye contact with their master.

Breeder/Being Bred

While not everyone with a breeding kink practices D/s, the two can work well together. The breeder is typically the dominant, while the person being bred is submissive. Along with these sexy things to say to your dom, pulling him close and wrapping your legs around him when he cums shows that you want him to cum inside you.

1. Breed me
2. I’m not on any birth control
3. Cum in me
4. We don’t need to use birth control
5. Fill me as far as you can
6. I want to get pregnant
7. I want to carry your heir
8. Release your seed inside of me
9. I want to be a mother/father
10. Give me your cum
11. This cum slut needs every drop
12. I’m ovulating and need to be filled, now
13. I do [task] so you’ll get me pregnant
14. I need you to cum in me
15. I can’t wait until your seed is inside me
16. Shoot that cum straight into my womb

Some people switch things up by having the dominant be the bred person and command the submissive to impregnate them. You don’t need to have a penis, either! Ejaculating and ovipositor sex toys can be filled with lube or even cum and “ejaculate” into your partner. As a sub, you would focus on agreeing with your dom and providing them with the thing they want.

1. I will fill you up/impregnate you
2. I can’t wait to get you pregnant
3. This is just/all for you (regarding to cum/cumming)

Pleasure Dom/Sub

While a pleasure dom focuses on giving their submissives intense pleasure, those subs may be pushed to their absolute limit when it comes to taking that pleasure. Knowing how to beg your dominant to get them to stop (or not) can be helpful in these situations/dynamics.

You can also try on a few of the submissive phrases below.

1. I can’t take it anymore
2. Stop (don’t forget to have an agreed-upon safeword if you are going to be saying things like “Stop” during a scene)
3. It’s too much
4. Oh my god, that feels so good
5. How are you doing that?
6. You always know exactly what I need
7. You’re too good to me
8. What did I ever do to deserve this?

What to Say as a Submissive Over the Phone

You can say all of the above submissive phrases if you’re on the phone or video chatting. Simply adapt them to the conversation or phone sex you’re having.

Tips for hot phone sex.

Focus on what you’re doing to yourself, what you want your dom to do to you, what you want to do to them, or things you’ve done together in the past.

Submissive Texts to Send Your Dom

While many of the suggestions above work over text as well, here are a couple of options for things to text your dom.

1. I’ve been thinking about you taking/spanking/[other action] me
2. How should I be waiting for you when you get home/come over?
3. I’m ready for your/my orders
4. I can’t wait to be your dirty slut tonight. Tips of being slutty.
5. I’m trying to [do a command], but it’s so hard because of [thoughts/feelings]

If you’re wondering how to text your dominant, you might enjoy setting submissive rules for you texting, such as waiting to be texted, always messaging at certain times (when waking up, before going to work, before bed, etc.), or sending specific messages such as “Sub [your name] is at your service” (even if your dom doesn’t respond!).

You can also use photos, videos, and voice messages as part of your submissive sexting.

Photo ideas include:

1. Showing off your collar (and nothing else)
2. You in panties/lingerie/cuffs/something sexy (along with “Do you like/approve?”)
3. The newest toy you want your dom to use on you
4. Two items (cuffs, lingerie, toys, etc) for your dom to choose between
5. Outfit options for the day or a later scene/play
6. Your wet panties/pants/the puddle from where you’re sitting (perhaps with “This is your fault”)
7. A photo they took of you (“Remember this?”)

Sending a video of you touching yourself or a voice recording while you masturbate is especially hot.

If you do send explicit submissive sexts, using an encrypted platform like Signal helps to prevent them from falling into the wrong hands.

Go deeper: How to take and send sexy selfies and how to take hot nudes.

Other Advice for Talking To Your Dom

Don’t get too caught up in sticking to these sub sayings. They’re a place to start, not a script you can’t deviate from. If you’re too rigid, your interactions may not flow naturally. Similarly, you risk coming off like a caricature if you use too many cliches. Instead, find the submissive way that shows your personality.

Remember that sometimes, the most submissive thing to say during sex isn’t necessarily a word or phrase. The sounds you make, including moans, groans, sighs, whimpers, and yelps, to name a few, can also be done submissively.

Now that you’ve got inspiration for what to say to your dom, you can navigate every scene more confidently. Get ready to try this dirty talk for subs on the next time you see your dom or you can send them a text right away if you can’t wait!