How To Turn A Guy On Fast: 21 Wild Techniques

Below are 21 ways to turn your man on fast and have him crave you with every fiber of his being. Some of these techniques are subtle, meaning he won’t even realize you’re trying to turn him on. Others are more obvious, but still incredibly effective if you want to excite your man.

The list starts with 4 foundational principles for turning any guy on. From tip #5 onwards, I’ll give you step-by-step instructions for some very spicy techniques that drive your man wild with excitement. Let’s dive in!

1. Make Him Feel Desired

You know that feeling you get when a guy you like clearly desires and wants you?

It’s hot. Incredibly hot.

Seeing his eyes mentally undress you. Watching him barely control himself around you. Feeling his aggression as he tries to undress you as fast as possible.

Being desired like this is such a huge turn on for so many women.

Sadly…

Many women don’t realize that making a guy feel desired is also a serious turn on for him.

Here’s what I want you to do. The next time you want to turn your man on, show him how much you desire him by:

• Sexting him, “I want you so bad right now. Ugh, wish you didn’t have to work.”
• Telling him on the phone, “If you were here right now, I’m a little worried that I’d rip your clothes off.”
• Telling him in person, “There’s something about how you look right now. It’s making me think bad thoughts.”
• Wearing something sexy and letting him know that you’re wearing it especially for him, “I wore it for you. I thought you’d like it.”
• Physically show him, by making the first move when he doesn’t expect it, “I need you so much right now.”

Speaking of first moves…

2. Make The First Move

If you want to know how to turn your man on, then make the first move. It’s the perfect way to show your man how much you desire him.

It’s spontaneous and…

If you do it right, you’ll turn your man on very quickly. Here are a few ways to make the first move on your man:

• The next time you’re watching TV together, let your hand wander to his crotch and start massaging it. Then proceed to give him a blow job or a hand job. You can also do this when you’re both in bed.
• When lying in bed, lean in close and kiss your man. Then start rubbing yourself against his groin or even grinding on his leg. Let him know how it feels by moaning in his ear, “You feel so good.”
• You can be very kinky and just start masturbating while lying in bed together. Let him hear your moans of pleasure. Then tell him, “I need you so bad.”

You can also be more subtle:

• When you’re both at home, way before bedtime, ask him, “Do you want to lie down for a minute?”
• Ask him if he’d like a massage: “Can I give you a massage?”

More tips for initiating sex.

When you make the first move, you’re making him feel desired while also massaging his ego…

3. Massage His Ego

Massaging a man’s ego is one of the best ways to turn a guy on. Well, some of them, at least. But it only works…

When you massage his ego in the right way. And…

The right way to massage his ego is to be truthful.

Here’s what I mean:

• If he has a small penis, don’t tell him, “it’s gigantic.” He’ll know you are lying.
• If he does something that you adore, let him know, “I love it when you eat my pussy like you did last night.”
• If you enjoy being dominated, let him know, “You turn me on so much when you dominate me.”
• After great sex, tell him the next time you are together, whisper this in his ear, “You made me cum so intensely the last time we had sex.” (25 tips to make your girl cum hard)

Check out these compliments for guys, to help get your man in the mood.

4. Make Eye Contact

If you want to learn how to turn a guy on, then you need to learn how to use eye contact effectively.

There is no single way to turn your man on with eye contact. There are several techniques you can use, and some may be so subtle that a man misses them. Choose the one that you most enjoy using:

Triangle look – When making eye contact with your man, try slowly moving your gaze from his left eye to his right eye to his lips and then back to his left eye. This will help let him know what’s on your mind.

Submissive eyes – When looking up at your man (a submissive position), keep your mouth slightly open in a small ‘O’ shape.

Bedroom eyes – This again works best when looking up at your man. Relax your face and let your eyelids drop, covering your eyes slightly. Softly bite your lip.

Maintain eye contact – If it feels comfortable, maintain eye contact with your man. This works well to subtly turn on your guy while talking to each other. It’s even more powerful when you’re not talking.

The key to maintaining eye contact is to do what feels relaxed and natural. Then break eye contact when it feels right.

However…

Staring at him nonstop, without blinking, for 30 minutes is creepy and not what turns a guy on. Making direct eye contact for 5-10 seconds at a time is fine, but remember to blink naturally.

Shy eye contact – If you are too nervous to make eye contact, that can turn him on, too. Breaking eye contact by looking down and blushing is a clear sign that you are a little nervous and attracted to him at the same time.

5. Talk Dirty

Talking dirty is one of the most powerful techniques if you are serious about learning how to turn a guy on.

You be subtle and sweet, “Can I kiss you?”

Or

You can be explicit and extreme, “I’m going to suck every last drop of cum from your balls tonight!”

Or somewhere in between.

I’ve already given some example phrases at the start of this guide, but you can find 100’s more in the Dirty Talking Guide. Also, you may want to check out these lists I put together:

• 91 dirty things to say to your man during sex
• 64 dirty talk examples to make him cum hard
• 162 femdom dirty talk phrases & examples

6. Let Him Know How Aroused You Are

Let’s say you see that your man is rock hard, with burning desire for you in his eyes, and then he tells you, “I’m so turned on right now.” Does it turn you on?

Of course it does!

Your man feels exactly the same way.

So, the next time you’re lying in bed, snuggle up beside him, and whisper one of these lines in his ear:

• I’m so turned on right now (how to get horny)
• Just looking at you is making me wet
• Just looking at you makes me want to jump you

Don’t be surprised if he devours you with lust!

7. Describe Your Sexual Fantasies

Describing your sexual fantasy is a great way to turn your man on. You’re basically telling him a sexy story that involves both of you.

Here are a few pointers to make it hot:

• Describe the situation/location (48 fun places to have sex)
• Describe the emotions you are both feeling
• Describe what you are doing to each other
• Describe the pleasure

You can describe your fantasy when lying in bed together, before phone sex to turn a guy on over the phone, or through a series of sex messages.

8. Explore His Sexual Fantasies

Describing how you would explore his sexual fantasies with him is even better for turning your man on than describing your own.

You will follow the same instructions as when describing your own sexual fantasies:

• Describe the situation/location
• Describe the emotions you are both feeling
• Describe what you are doing to each other
• Describe the pleasure

Check out these 31 real (hot) sex stories and these 49 wild sex confessions to get ideas of how to describe his fantasy for him.

9. Try A Drink & A Smoke

Some folks are so stressed out, anxious, and wound up that none of the other ideas on this list will turn them on.

Alcohol and marijuana, when legal, are an (imperfect) shortcut for these folks.

A few drinks or puffs on a joint can help him unwind and get him in the mood more easily. Of course, too much and your man can get ‘whiskey dick.’

The key is moderation and not relying on these drugs as a crutch. It’s also worth mentioning that alcohol and marijuana can be abused.

My advice: Use alcohol and marijuana as a last resort to turn your man on.

10. Don’t Forget Foreplay, The Proper Kind

There’s this irritating stereotype that men don’t need or like foreplay.

This stereotype mainly applies to 18-year-old guys whose testosterone levels are through the roof and patience is lacking.

Pretty much every other guy needs and wants some foreplay to get turned on (and loves when it turns you on, too!). So, the next time you want to arouse your man and make him crave sex, try these foreplay ideas:

• Flirt with him
• Build sexual tension
• Touch him seductively
• Give him a massage
• Kiss him

Go deeper: I’ve created a guide with 22 foreplay ideas where you’ll learn step-by-step how to use foreplay to turn your man on and have him eagerly wanting sex.

11. Text Him To Turn Him On

You can also turn him on over text, perfect for when you’re not together…

Just like with talking dirty, you can send him something subtle and sweet, “I had a really nice dream about you last night ;)”

Or you can be much more direct…

“Baby, I’m fingering myself & thinking about you. It feels so good.” (14 pleasurable masturbation tips for intense orgasms)

Here’s the key takeaway…

Mix it up. Change the things you say to turn on your guy.

Why?

When texting your man to turn him on, you want to keep him on his toes, never knowing what to expect. This means that you need to mix up the kinds of texting and sexting you’re doing. Some pointers on how to turn a guy on over text…

Sexting: You can send him explicit details about what you’re doing or want to do with him. You can even dominate him through sexting or try sending one of these 107 dirty text messages.

Flirting: I would argue that flirting via text is more effective at turning on your man. It allows his mind to fill in the gaps, keeping him thinking about you. Try sending him one of these 119 flirty text messages.

Send nudes?: If you trust your man and know he won’t share them with anyone else, try taking a nude and sending it to him. There’s a big exception, though: If he’s coercing you to send him nudes and you don’t feel comfortable doing it, then avoid it.

12. Learn His Turn Ons, Kinks & Fetishes

The best way to learn how to turn your man on is to simply ask him what arouses him.

• Ask him what his kinks & fetishes are
• Ask him what makes him hard
• Ask him what he doesn’t find arousing, so you know to avoid it

Asking him to open up and share his turn-ons is a delicate conversation.

Many men (and women) find it tricky to fully open up and share their deepest, darkest fantasies with their partner. They may be insecure, uncomfortable with their own desires, or even worried that you’ll judge them.

The solution?

• Be open
• Don’t shame him
• Praise him for sharing them
• Sharing your own turn ons will encourage him to share his own

However, don’t assume these conversations have to be difficult! Often, a guy will be excited if you ask how to turn him on. Once you finish talking about things that turn him on, he might ask the same about you, which can lead to an even better sex life!

13. Wear Something Sexy

Men are visual creatures.

It’s a fact of life.

You’re missing out if you don’t use this to your advantage when trying to turn your guy on.

Figure out what types of clothing turn him on. Most guys have something very specific that drives them wild. It could be:

• A sundress or cocktail dress and heels
• Tight-fitting jeans or leggings
• Seeing you in lingerie
• A specific item of clothing, like a thong, tank top, or skirt.

Ideally, you feel sexy wearing these clothes too.

If your clothes turn him on, but they make you feel uncomfortable, restricted, or gross, then I would avoid wearing them.

Get tips for dressing sexy to turn your man on sexually.

14. Masturbate In Front Of Him

Masturbating in front of him is another way to appeal to his visual side when turning him on. It may even be what turns men on the most.

There are some really wild, but also simple/subtle ways to masturbate in front of your man:

Masturbate while kissing him – The next time you are kissing your man, start to touch yourself and masturbate at the same time. It may surprise him, but hearing your moans as you kiss him will tease him into a sexual frenzy.

Under the covers – This is the easiest way to masturbate in front of your man if you’re not feeling completely confident yet. With your blanket covering your body, he will only be able to see the pleasure on your face as you stimulate your clitoris.

Mutual masturbation – You and your partner can masturbate in front of each other. You can also reach out and give your man a hand job while he fingers you (fingering tutorial for men) to change things up.

The big show (no touching) – Start by stripping for your man, then start to slowly masturbate in front of him. This technique is tricky as it only works if you’re feeling confident. A freaky thing to try that will take this to the next level is putting him in bondage beforehand to really tease him (17 bondage positions).

A note: I’d advise you to discuss the idea of masturbating in front of your man before doing it with him. You can say something as simple as, “I just want to touch myself when I kiss you.” Not only will this turn him on, but it will seem a lot more natural when you’re doing it.

15. Sleep Nude

This is a lazy but very effective way to arouse your husband.

Sleeping nude beside your partner means more skin-on-skin contact.

Which increases the chances of turning him on.

It works better if you can convince him to sleep naked, too.

16. Give Domination & Submission a Whirl

Domination and submission can be a huge turn on for your man (and you, too!):

• Seeing you on your knees, looking up, while submitting to him, can drive him wild
• Other guys get off when they are in the submissive position, and you are standing dominantly over him
• You may enjoy switching between dominant and submissive roles

Introducing domination and submission into your sex life should rarely happen without you first discussing.

Instead, it should happen when discussing sex with your partner, and one of you suggests exploring it.

While you can read our in-depth guides on how to be more dominant in the bedroom and how to be submissive during sex, there are some important things to keep in mind when exploring domination and submission:

• Understanding the importance of consent during D/s play
• Takes things slowly at first.
• Discuss how you felt about it after sex

Domination and submission are just a small part of BDSM. There’s a whole lot more to this exciting world…

17. Try Bondage, Discipline, Sadism & Masochism

Other aspects of BDSM that may turn your man on include:

Bondage – This is where you tie your man up or restrain him. Some men get highly aroused by this loss of control. You may want to check out our bondage guide for beginners to get you started.

Discipline – Some men get off when you enforce rules on him or punish him if he doesn’t comply with these rules (34 rules for your submissive). You can also reward him if he does comply.

Sadism – When he gets turned on by physically hurting, or degrading, or humiliating his partner.

Masochism – When he is turned on by being hurt or humiliated by you.

Two things to keep in mind:

• Remember, consent is required when exploring any aspect of BDSM
• All of these roles can be reversed and don’t necessarily reflect your relationship outside the bedroom

18. Role play

If nothing else is working to turn your man on, you may want to try role playing with him (42 sex role play ideas). Role playing with your man sounds corny, but…

It does something really important.

It gets him out of his usual way of thinking. It’s an escape. It puts him in a different mindset, which can help him fight nerves or self-consciousness.

Most importantly, it’s novel. Here’s the truth:

Men (and women!) get bored when sex is the same.

Let me ask you something:

Would you prefer to have Doggy Style sex every time you get intimate with your man?

Or would you prefer to change it up and experience something slightly different from time to time?

The answer is obvious.

Keeping it fresh makes it way more fun!

Role-playing with your man does this. It keeps sex fresh and interesting. You can also explore these 35 BDSM role play ideas to find things that turn on a guy.

19. Try Something New

As you figure out how to turn on your man, you may find that none of your usual ideas and techniques work the way they used to.

In cases like this, you need to try something new. As I just mentioned, novelty alone can be a huge turn on.

Here are some ideas to inspire you:

• Sex bucket list with 243 ideas
• 29 new things to try in the bedroom
• 16 rough sex ideas
• 15 insane techniques to please and satisfy your man

20. Be Passionate & Enthusiastic

Can you feel the difference between a passionless, dead-fish kiss versus…. a kiss where your man grabs you tightly, runs his hand through your hair, and caresses your lips with his while groaning with pleasure?

Do you notice the difference between standard in-and-out, Missionary sex with no change of position or rhythm throughout, versus…

The rush of feelings you get as your man passionately runs his hands over every part of your body, grinding himself against you during sex, bringing both of you to orgasm at the same time?

Duh!

Obviously, there’s a difference.

A huge difference.

You need to keep this in mind if you want to turn on your husband or boyfriend.

If he can feel your enthusiasm and passion for him while you perform the techniques on this list, it will be easier to turn him on.

21. Blow Jobs

Going down on your man and giving him a blow job is probably the most powerful way to turn him on…

If he is not turned on when you start, then it’s very likely that he’ll get hard in your mouth as you blow him and get uncontrollably aroused. If you’re curious how to tell if a guy is turned on, that hard on is a surefire sign (but a guy can be turned on without being hard, too).

Mastering the blowjob is simple…

Check out our blow job tutorial, then check out these blow job techniques and our guide on how to deep throat without gagging to really send him over the edge.

If You’re Struggling to Sexually Arouse Your Man..

Try to stay calm. Everyone has trouble getting in the mood from time to time. You’ve probably experienced it yourself.

Don’t blame yourself – The reason you can’t turn on your partner might have nothing to do with you. He could be:

• Stressed or anxious
• Suffering from a side effect of a medication
• Suffering from a health condition
• Suffering from something else that interferes with his ability to get turned on

You’ll have little luck learning how to turn on your guy when these things are at work.

The solution? – Unfortunately, issues like those don’t often have a fast fix. Before you can turn on your man, you may need to talk to a medical or mental health professional or make some life changes to drastically reduce his stress so you can turn your guy on.

Testosterone – He might specifically want to ask about testosterone because low testosterone can make it harder to get turned on. You can then learn how to arouse a man with low testosterone or what he can do to boost his T levels.

Depression & anxiety – Of course, testosterone is just one aspect of what turns a guy on. Heart health can also be significant to a guy’s ability to get turned on, and depression and anxiety are both known to wreak havoc on sex drive and erections.

Whether it’s low testosterone, relationship issues, or something else, we hope you’ll be able to get to the root of the problem and learn how to arouse your man with ease!