I can't publish my most intense and wild sex tips online, so I send them in my private and discreet email newsletter. You can find out more here.
If you watch MTV, read any gossip magazine or hit any hot club on the weekend, you are going to notice one thing they all share in common…
Some characters are attracted to others, even if they don’t admit it to themselves. All of their interactions seem electric. It’s sexy and appealing. You can’t wait to see whether the characters on the screen realize their attraction and do something about it.
Side note: If you are currently struggling to orgasm during sex or masturbation, then you may want to learn about the Easy Orgasm Solution. It will teach you how to have multiple vaginal and full body orgasms during sex and masturbation. It works even if you currently struggle to orgasm during sex or when masturbating. You can find out more here.
Why is this?
It all comes down to sexual tension.
According to Wikipedia, sexual tension is “a social phenomenon that occurs when two individuals interact, and one or both feel sexual desire, but the consummation is postponed or never happens.”
While seeing the sexual tension on the screen can be enjoyable, it’s something you can experience in real life. Occasionally, sexual tension can feel like torture, but it can also be the one thing that leads to mind-blowing sex.
Sexual tension straddles the line between excitement and frustration. You see something you want, and you can’t have it. Perhaps not ever. Maybe just for now.
Related: If you want to give your man back-arching, toe-curling, screaming orgasms that will keep him sexually addicted to you, then you'll find them in my private and discreet newsletter. You'll also learn the 5 dangerous & "dumb" sex mistakes that turn him off and how to avoid them. Get it here.
What Does Sexual Tension Feel Like?
Sexual tension feels like a lot of things:
- Desire and yearning for another person – whom you might not be able to have or may have to wait to be with. You may want to be near them all the time.
- Frustration or anger – that you can’t have that person
- Excitement – over the prospect of being with them.
- Distraction – because you cannot think of anything else
- Tightness – Some folks report that they feel like their muscles are a bit more tense than usual
- Physical arousal – you’re horny and may masturbate due to all the sexual tension in the air
- Sensitivity to physical sensations – especially sexual ones including “heat” in your body [2]
It’s common to feel an electricity or energy in the air when there’s plenty of sexual tension. People often describe sexual tension as palpable.
Examples of Sexual Tension from Pop Culture
It can be difficult to understand what sexual tension looks like when you’re one of the people involved. Sometimes it’s much easier to tell if there’s sexual tension when you’re a third party, which is why a friend might notice there’s sexual tension between you and another person before you do — or even if you don’t!
You’ve probably noticed sexual tension between characters in your favorite media. It’s a common trope for two characters to have sexual tension that often goes unnoticed or unacknowledged between them. If you’ve ever seen coworkers who we snippy to each other because of underlying attraction, then you know exactly what we mean by sexual tension.
Screen and book writers use tension as a way to build up to an explosive moment where characters admit their sexual (and sometimes) romantic feelings to each other. There’s a “finally” moment for the character — and often for the audience, too! Everyone gets to breathe a sigh of relief as that tension subsides.
Example of sexual tension include
- Fox Mulder and Dana Scully from the X-files
- Nick and Jess in New Girl
- Edward and Bella in Twilight
- Lucy and Wyatt in Timeless
- Baby and Johnny in Dirty Dancing
- Castle and Beckett in Castle
- Any pairing in the cast of FRIENDS
- Daenerys and most characters in Game of Thrones
- Buffy and Spike in Buffy
All this sexual tension was foreplay for amazing sex, and it makes you turn into your favorite TV show or rewatch a steamy movie so you can experience the electricity in the air yourself — and it usually works! You want to see your favorite couple finally hook up or even realize their attraction, even if it’s between characters who were previously unaware of same-sex attraction. You can even get a similar experience from some music!
While the examples of sexual tension above are manufactured to gain and keep audiences, so they may be over the top or lack all of the awkwardness that comes with real-life interactions, you can manufacture a bit of your own sexual tension with your current or prospective partner. That’s where the rest of this guide comes into play.
Quick Quiz: Do You Give Good Blow Jobs?
If you are new here, then you may want to take the quiz below to learn how good you are at giving oral sex and satisfying your man. You may discover you that you suck (pun intended) or that you are already a blow job queen.
How to Create Sexual Tension
Some people try to create sexual tension simply by being overtly sexual. You might think you should “dress in something skimpy, sexy or revealing” and flaunt what you have.
Related: How To Dress Sexy For Your Man
Of course, you can dress however you’d like, and doing so might very well turn some heads, including those of the person you’re attracted to. Why wouldn’t they?
It’s hot!
It’s sexy!
But…
It’s not a great way to keep your man attracted.
Read that again.
It’s hot and sexy in the moment, but it’s not a good way to keep your man attracted in the long term. And the Bad Girls Bible is all about keeping your man attracted for the long term.
While it’s certainly a great way for keeping your man turned on, it’s not so effective at keeping him thinking about you.
A better way at keeping your man attracted and hot for you as well as keeping him thinking of you is by building sexual tension.
Building sexual tension is literally 100x more effective than just ‘acting sexy’.
Now before giving you some tips on building sexual tension, keep in mind that dressing/acting sexy and building sexual tension aren’t mutually exclusive.
You can do both at the same time.
But…
You just need to be able to differentiate between the two.
Okay, so now you know that dressing/acting sexy and building sexual tension are two different things.
Sexual tension involves hinting at what you want and have to give but not giving it all away. Make him work for it a little bit but not too hard.
What can I do to build sexual tension with my man?
I thought you’d never ask!
Before I give you some examples, here is a short warning that you must always heed:
Using sexual tension with your man is like using a strong spice when cooking. Only use it just a little bit to keep things interesting. Use it too much, and it gets annoying. Fast.
Here are some ways you can build sexual tension with your man, that I also explain in the dirty talking tutorial video:
1. By Teasing Him
When you tease your man, you’re saying something slightly mean with a slight smile on your face. Your man should know that you are not entirely serious and that really you are just playing:
Try saying something like:
- “I obviously don’t spank you enough. Try it the next time he says something stupid.”
- “Your mom would be proud of what she raised (then jokingly roll your eyes). Try it the next time he spills his drink/make a small faux-pas.”
- “You need to stop shopping with your mom. Try it when you see him wearing a new shirt/shoes/clothes (don’t forget to slyly smile after saying this).”
- “You’re going to have to do a lot more than that to impress me. Try it when he tries to do something to impress you.”
You can also use body language (more about this) to tease him.
- Use your mouth seductively: lick your lips, bite your lower lips, suck on ice or a lollipop, purse your lips. Even blowing a kiss can be sexy and add to sexual tension.
- Flash him as you get dressed — but don’t let him touch!
- Bend over in front of him so he sees your cleavage.
Discover how to tease your boyfriend.
Find the balance between poking fun a little bit, showing affection, and using sexual innuendo. If he picks up on it, you’re proving to be a good flirt and building sexual tension.
Read More: 15 Flirting Tips To Make Him Obsessed With You
Note that some guys might expect you to have sex with them if you tease them. It can seem like implicit consent [3].
Yes, we’re still unfortunately living in a world where some guys are stupid and seem to think a girl who is just having some fun is automatically giving consent.
2. Two Steps Forward, One Step Back
You probably already know this one. A great way to build sexual tension is to take 2 steps forward with your man, then quickly take one step backward.
Here are some examples:
a) The next time you meet your man in a public place, get up really close to him and whisper in his ear that you’d love to have him inside you right then & there.
Then maybe give him a quick kiss and quickly change the subject.
Anytime he tries to steer the conversation back to what you just said, change the subject again.
I can guarantee that for the whole conversation, your man will only be able to think about one thing! It will turn him on and infuriate him at the same time. Perfect for building sexual tension
b) When you are in a rush to go somewhere, start getting down & dirty with your man. Start giving him a handjob/blowjob/sex/foreplay. Then stop halfway and rush out the door. You can learn my best blow job techniques from this blow job instructional video.
Text him to apologize and tell him that you didn’t mean to. Let him know throughout the day that you plan to finish things off later…
c) Tell him how much you’re going to want him later as one of you leaves. You’ll plant the idea in his head, but you won’t be able to do anything about it. This is precisely what builds sexual tension.
d) Send him a sexy text when you’re apart — or even when you’re in different rooms. Check out these sexy text message examples or these sexting examples for inspiration.
3. Physically Teasing Him
Physically teasing your man is probably the easiest way to build sexual tension.
But again, you must remember to use physical teasing sparingly to build sexual tension.
Here are some things you can do to physically tease him:
- Skip him in a queue
- ‘Accidentally’ nudging him into someone else when you are queuing or just standing together.
- Softly pinching him on his ass/side of stomach/back of arm when nobody else is looking. Then giving him a very fiendish smile afterward.
- Asking for his phone. Then when he asks for it, put it behind you back and tell him that he has to get it off you.
- Brush your breasts up against his arm or chest as you pass in a hallway or room.
- Bend down in front of him and let your butt touch his crotch.
- Adjust his jacket, shirt, or tie, then hold your hand against his chest. Drag your fingers down toward his pants/crotch before pulling it away.
You’ll notice that these things that build sexual tension often are good at getting you horny.
The whole idea of physically teasing your man is to make things fun and playful. Sort of like you are back in the schoolyard. It’s easy and fun, especially if there’s a risk of someone seeing you. However, be careful where you pull these moves if there might be children around or your man might be self-conscious about public displays of affection.
If you would like to learn more about talking dirty to tease your man, you may want to use the powerful techniques I teach in this dirty talking tutorial video. Just remember that it’s a spice, so use it sparingly!
4. Play a Game
One way to create sexual tension, especially with an established partner, is to create reasons why you cannot give in to desire and pleasure each other. A sexy game is a perfect way to do this. The rules are simple: your partner can look but not touch.
What do you do during these situations? You might be naked, masturbating, taking a shower or masturbating in the shower. You can do a strip tease to drive him crazy (learn how). Perhaps take it one step further and perform a lap dance. A real stripper wouldn’t let a client touch her. You can do the same.
Finally, consider tying his hands so he physically cannot touch you.
All of these activities serve as great foreplay while amping up sexual tension like crazy. You can decide when — or even if — your man can touch you. Make him wait long enough, and he won’t be able to keep his hands off you.
Another plus? You can switch roles to experience some of that frenzied sexual energy yourself.
Not sold on this idea? Check out these foreplay tips and games, instead.
However, these games can continue into sex. For example, you might consider role-playing and choose roles where one of you is denied access to the other. Stripper and client is one such role, but he might play a submissive who has committed some offense and is not allowed to touch you.
Get roleplaying inspiration here.
5. Deny Yourself Pleasure
Sexual tension often naturally builds when you’re separated from your lover. Why? Because you’re denying yourself pleasure and not just him. This is one reason why finally seeing and being able to have sex with your partner when you’re in a long-distance relationship feels amazing! So when you feel sad that you cannot be near him and touch him, remember the sexual tension.
You may also be able to kick it up a notch by simply withholding pleasure. That’s right: stop masturbating until you see him. You can also take this opportunity to have amazing phone sex.
Now, we generally recommend that all women should masturbate to learn about their bodies and to enjoy pleasure. But in this one instance, not masturbating might be beneficial.
Read More: How To Masturbate (For Women): 7 Step Orgasmic Guide
Of course, some people find that masturbating actually adds to the sexual tension. If you’re one of them, go ahead!
6. Fantasize
Fantasizing is a great addition to masturbation and sometimes to sex as well. You can imagine any people in your fantasy. It doesn’t even have to include you!
Discover the most common fantasies.
However, if you do fantasize about you and your man, then it might help to increase sexual tension, at least, on your side. You probably have done this after seeing a sexy stranger or meeting someone whom you want get into bed. The sexual tension already exists, so fantasies are easy. And fantasies only add to the sexual tension. It’s a delicious cycle.
When it comes to your boyfriend or husband, imagine the sexy things you could do the next time you’re together. You can also think about things you’ve done, which might be easier if you aren’t especially creative.
7. Get Your Head in the Game
Building sexual tension isn’t just about teasing and flirting with your partner: it’s also about creating a sexual frenzy that can lead to explosive pleasure for yourself.
So you shouldn’t just focus on how you can create sexual tension for him. You should think about anything you can do to tease yourself. You might get a little worked up by the words and touching already suggested.
Or you might like to be on the receiving end of this sort of attention from your partner. Consider showing him this article so you can build sexual tension together. One of the perks is feeling desired by your man. However, there’s one thing that might make this hard to do: anxiety.
Everyone feels anxiety about sex now and then. It’s normal, especially when you have sex for the first time or meet a new partner. However, it can put a serious damper on your sex life if you let it get the best of you.
Read More: How To Get Rid Of Sexual Anxiety Once And For All
Self-doubt can also do a job on sexual tension. We all occasionally experience doubt, but you need to recognize that someone can desire your body, your personality, and everything else you have to offer. If you don’t know if a guy is attracted to you or even doubt that he could be, you might spend all of your time wrapped up with your insecurities and not recognizing — and reveling in — the sexual tension that exists between you two.
8. Continue During Sex
Although sex and orgasm provide relief of sexual tension, it doesn’t have to be immediate. In fact, you can purposely prolong sexual tension to torment your partner (or vice versa). This is accomplished by putting off orgasm.
Games like these are known as orgasm control (or orgasm denial if you don’t let your partner cum), and many people find them to be great fun! They can even involve chastity devices and work well with BDSM games.
Learn More: 7 Tease and Denial Games to Drive Him Wild and Have Better Orgasms and 9 Orgasm Denial Games for Testing Your Limits and Driving Yourself Wild
Sexual Tension Is Most Powerful When There’s a Reward
Unless you and your man specifically like orgasm denial or the torture of neverending sexual tension, eventually there should be a payoff. This usually comes in the form of sex and orgasm. Sometimes you might simply want to give in to the sexual tension that’s been building and have sex. Even if you do nothing special in bed, it can feel remarkable and be memorable compared to other sex you’ve had, even if it’s a quickie.
However, if there is no payoff or you wait too long, sexual tension can turn into frustration. Be careful to keep that balance. This might mean masturbating when you’re overwhelmed with sexual tension yourself. Remember, too, that while sexual tension can make sex better, sometimes it’s not enough to save if the sex that follows is lackluster.
Related: How To Have Good Sex
Dealing with Unwanted Sexual Tension
It’s also important to note that sexual tension can be unwanted. Perhaps you’re experiencing it with someone, and one or both of you isn’t single. Or you might be coworkers or even in a situation where one if you is a superior at work. These situations where you can’t have sex but experience attraction naturally create sexual tension.
Unfortunately, they also come with consequences, and you have to consider whether the risk is worth the reward. Sometimes sexual tension and arousal can override our ability to make good decisions. For example, studies have shown that being attracted to someone can lead to not using protection during sex [4, 5].
Just because there’s sexual tension doesn’t mean you should act on it.
Sometimes the best thing might be to masturbate and get on with your day without making mistakes that would jeopardize your sexual health or relationship. If you’re struggling with willpower, figure out ways to limit your contact with anyone you might experience sexual tension with who might not be a sexual option.
Sexual tension can even be caused by conditions such as persistent genital arousal syndrome, which keeps a person in a perpetual state of arousal [6].
Some people find yoga, tai chi, or meditation helpful to dispel tension [7].
However, sexual tension can subside with time [8].
When you can find the balance between frustration and excitement, however, sexual tension is a powerful tool. Keep it in your arsenal and break it out if sex becomes stale or if you simply want to play some fun sex games. You’ll be glad that you did!
What The Science Says
Why is sexual tension so effective? Because it involves anticipation. The anticipatory phase of sex involves the release of dopamine, a hormone that’s typically involved in the reward center of the brain [9, 10]. Any time you build sexual tension as a leadup to sex, you’re doing the same. Your brain doesn’t see a difference between sexual and nonsexual rewards.
Resources
Candice Jalili talks to Dr. Nicole Prause about sexual tension for an article on Elite Daily.
This description of sexual tension for The Phoenix details many of the thoughts we have about it — or its absence.
This episode by Youtube channel GregandLou is a bit silly but shows how the sexual tension trope often appears on the screen.
Frequently Asked Questions
FAQ #1 – Why is it so much easier to achieve sexual tension in the beginning of a relationship?
Many relationships start with a lot of sexual tension, which can fade as the relationship progresses. This occurs because novelty can aid sexual tension. But novelty decreases the more you get to know someone else and become familiar with them.
Furthermore, sexual tension can be increased when you want something and cannot have it or haven’t had it yet.
This doesn’t mean that you won’t have any sexual tension in a longer relationship, but you might experience less of it. Fortunately, you can use the advice from this article to help create sexual tension when you want it.
FAQ #2 – How will sexual tension help me?
One of the reasons we encourage you to cultivate sexual tension is because thinking about sex can increase your desire or even activate responsive desire.
Go deeper: Spontaneous and responsive desire.
This can be useful if you schedule sex or a date and work to create sexual tension beforehand. When it’s time for sex, you can be in the mood.
Sexual tension can make sexual experiences seem more intense and pleasurable and also makes both you and your partner feel desired. You can use it if you want to improve your sex life.
FAQ #3 – How do you know when there’s too much sexual tension?
Sexual tension is a good thing as long as there’s a promise of release at some point. If you find yourself fraught with sexual tension but are unable to relieve the tension — usually with sex or masturbating — then you might experience more frustration than fun. Try to avoid sexual tension in situations like these as you’ll likely to wind up frustrated and disappointed.
Orgasm Every Time. Easily. Here’s How...
I want to tell you about my friend Karen.
Karen came to me one day. She was hysterical.
She told me that her marriage was falling apart because she and her husband didn’t have satisfying sex.
Every time they were intimate, Karen was faking her orgasms. It turns out she couldn’t orgasm during sex.
In fact...
She never had an orgasm in her entire life. Not one!
This left her feeling embarrassed and ashamed. And...
She completely hid this from her husband. Thankfully...
It turns out that there is a way for any woman to orgasm. Easily. And have multiple vaginal and full body orgasms during sex and masturbation.
I shared the process with Karen.
After she followed the simple process, she could barely come to terms with how...
Quickly and dramatically her sex life changed.
We met up a few months later and...
She would not stop talking about it,
“I thought I was one of those women who couldn’t orgasm. I used to think I was ‘broken’ and ‘unfixable.’ This saved my sex life, and that saved my marriage.”
Even if you currently struggle to orgasm during sex or when masturbating, this process will also work for you.
And best of all, you don’t need to do anything weird or uncomfortable to start having the best orgasms and sex of your life.
If you want to tease your man, then forget about being mean. Verbal abuse includes mean teasing and saying ‘it’s *just* a joke’ when actually you are being mean or hurtful to someone.
I absolutely agree with you Karen, although sometimes it can be quite a fine line.
I feel like i can’t build tension with my partner, he’s the type of man if he’s not hungry he won’t eat literally.
We have sexual chemistry when we do have sex but that’s it. In fact he don’t kiss me he really doesn’t do any flirting he sticks to same routine in bed and he orgasms in less than a minute and this has been going on for 4 years.
His reason for that is I’m just too beautiful, load of junk.
He just can’t be bothered to please me he forplay for 5 mins rubbing my bottom then he pumps me fast and acts like he accidentally cums quick.
I’ve told him and told him how I feel used and unloved but he continues the same thing. So now I’m not interested in sec with him and he’s not getting it from me until he realises that his selfishness is making me sick. I losing respect and love for him, and he’s been warned many times how I’m feeling, so unfortunately he’s going to be one of those men who don’t know what they have got till SHES gone .
Sorry to hear about this Sally. Communication is key here. Our guide on effective sexual communication may help.
Hey. I’ve played the nice game and I’ve played the bitch game and the bitch game works. It’s hard for me to say this because I am very nice person by nature and ended up getting walked all over and annoying. I let my man get away with everything and had no say in things. Then after the advice of many to be more bitchy….ice him out, I started playing the bitch game and Damn! it worked. Not always giving him sex when he demands, telling him to shut up when he is a dick, and telling him I have better things to do than hang out with him. OMG! It drove him nuts and he couldn’t stop calling, texting and obsessing over me. Again it pains me to say it because I would rather be a lovely girly sweet princess all the time but the bitch game works and its really as simple as the author says.
Amen, sister! Well said!!
she always plays bitch game to me and it works!
It won’t work for marriage, but if you guys are just fooling around then have at it.
i soo damn agree with you babe…being bitchy pays off
I can say is true for me as well. I don’t like being a bitch either, and it seems to lead to more fighting. But the sex is awesome and so is the sexual tension leading up to it. I guess it’s a trade-off ; )
I Completely Agree 100% But do have Something Great to Share though
the man I’m currently with says he wants more but he’s not sure if he’s ready for more, I’m confused can you help me please?
Hi Kelly,
I’m not entirely sure how to deal with this as it sounds like more of a relationship & communication issue. My advice is to just talk to him. Often you’ll find that totally rational people hold contradicting beliefs and feelings. e.g. Staying in control while wanting to be dominated.
I had a guy friend who used to guide me with things to do and say when it came to guys. I had them wanting me so much. That was years ago lol now I’m married going on 3 years and I want that advice back like a Gerard Butler on the Ugly Truth to tell me what to do. Do you offer one on one like that or do suggest I get my guy friend back???
Hi Vikki,
Unfortunately I don’t offer 1-on-1 advice. However, if you are looking for advice on what to say to your man, you may be interested in watching the video on this page.
I would like some advice, too. A man I work with and I have flirted for years. About 3 months ago while texting we decided that we would in fact get together one night for a night of pleasure. We’ve been sexting some and the looks we give each other at work, well we know we both want each other. He has asked me a few times if I’m sure I want to do this. I tell him yes, I’ve never wanted anyone more. This is going to be a no strings attached fun romp. We can’t date in the workplace and no one can know about any of it. I just can’t get him to commit to a time. When I suggest a time, he can’t. He’s never suggested a time. It seems to me that he really would just continue talking about it instead of doing something about it. I asked him last night, in a text , “all we’re ever gonna do is talk about this, isn’t it?” He never replied. He acted a little miffed at first this morning but quickly got over that. My thoughts of why he may not actually want to do this is because I’m a little on the overweight side. I’m the one that should have a problem with this, not him! I asked him if he had ever been with a woman my size. His response was he’s tired of little women and that he’ll love it. So, I’m thinking I should maybe just let him initiate any further texting and cut way back on the flirting and suggestive comments unless he initiates them. What is your opinion? Thank you!!
Hi Mags,
It sounds like a tricky situation to be honest. As you probably know, I don’t offer relationship advice on the Bad Girls Bible, only sex tips.
Sorry I couldn’t be more helpful.
Sean
Hi Mags,
I would wait it out and let him initiate further contact, he seems keen but needs to step up otherwise he’s just a time waster and not worthy of you. Be confident and sassy and if he’s genuine then enjoy the hot night of passion if not his loss and you canove on to find someone else that will benefit from Sean’s amazing advice!!!!
Girls,once you realize that we really can control the relationship, you will stop obsessing over how to get the guy and you’ll just have him. A confident woman can do whatever she likes. Just like yourself and the rest will follow.
How do we control the situation s i mean my man lves blow jobs but hasnt touched me in over a week there is alot of sexual tension on my end i crave him… So how do i get him to take me?
Maybe you could take him?
He has a girlfriend
That was my thought too
Sean I have loved all of your wonderful tips and use them as often as I can. I have been with my husband for 25 years and for the most part have had an active sex life. For the last 6 months he seems to have no real interest in sex. He is 41 years old. I don’t feel that he is cheating on me but I do think there is a problem. Is there any tips that can be given to help rekindle his desire. I really miss our closeness.
Hi Carla,
Sorry to hear about this. There can be a number of factors that lower your man’s sex drive. One of the biggest culprits is certain anti-depressants. However there are other factors that can affect it too like stress or tiredness. If it becomes a serious problem, then I suggest that he chat to his doctor about it to find out the root cause.
Sean
If its not antidepressent or bloodpressure medicine effects try having a testosterone level done with your husbands next blood work. T levels drop 1% every year in men over 30. Additionally have your husband ask his dad if he had any problems @ this age. 75% of health issues are inherited.
He may be developing an ED problem. This will cause performance anxiety and he may feel that he would rather abstain than fail! Hope this helps. Vance RN
Lovely, lovely and so practicable. Thank you Sean
Glad you liked ’em!
Sean
I want to thank you for your website. My husband and I have been together for 35 years and have had some trouble finding each other again now that the kids are grown. You forget how to be lovers when you’re raising children. We almost divorced and then I found your website and get the weekly newsletter. Through sex we’ve starting talking again and are closer than we have been in years. It’s not just about one in the relationship, it’s about both of us.
Some of what you have on your articles we’ve previously experienced. But some is new and wonderful to try. I share my interests from the weekly newsletter with him. And after sexting for the first time, he just told me “bad girls rule”. I’ve recommended your site to many friends. I hope it brings they’re relationships back to life like it did mine.
Thank you again
Your #1 Bad Girl Fan!
Thank you so much for your kind words! Glad I could help!
Sean
How do i handle it when i lnow my boyfriend is masterbating online with a cam girl. Interacting and the whole the thing. And i think he has seen the same one several times. They way they talk i can tell its not the first. I know he isnt actually touching or being with her. But i give him whatever he wants. He knows im absolutely in love with him and how he makes me feel. I feel he is cheating. And when he does that. He treats me like shit for no apperant reason gives me the silent treament
Hi Tina, This doesn’t sound like the behavior of a loving boyfriend. My advice is to talk to him about it in a non-confrontational, non-judgmental way.
could you write an article on what a person can do if they are incapable of giving a blowjob (for whatever reason that prevents them) and what they can do instead?
Hi Patti,
I’m working on it! Stay tuned…
Sean
Sean, it seems my man has had an internet addiction in the past and when we make love he doesn’t seem like He’s enjoying it, with his arm on his.head.looking at me not saying anything must pumping away he says he is pleasuring me and he enjoys me but i feel like He’s just a.machine. He really doesn’t get a.hard on when he sees.me.nude and I’m not bad.looking, I’ve never had a.guy feel or have sex like.this. Is it ok for me to not.understand this, it’s.just no.emotion and i ask him is there anything i can do to please you and he says i do, i can give him.Great head and.he cums and cum inside me not to many times doesn’t like.knowing it’s.in there when he.has to.give me head and i tell him i clean myself very well nothing to worry about. I did find out from friends He’s.been addicted to the internet and he says no more and i should beleive him because He’s with me but He’s alone alot while i work sometimes three days straight and i just think He’s still going there, he says no and i want to beleive him but it’s.hard. He’s let me see what He’s has on there and erased it but i know by that it’s probably hidden in other places and you know as well as i do he can.go there anytime to.find anything. Oh, He’s told me also He’s bought a fake pussy and use to use it but doesn’t have it at the.house it’s in storage. What do i do about all this and do you think He’s still addicted? Thanks Sean
Hi Linda,
It sounds like a really difficult situation for your relationship. I would love to tell you what to do, but unfortunately this is a little outside of my expertise.
Sean
My other half and I sometimes have to go to the same meetings through our work.. no-one knows we are a couple, and just to keep him ‘on the ball’, i’ll do things like write notes on the phone’s notepad saying ‘i’d much rather be giving you a blow job’ or ‘just to let you know that I’ve gone commando for this meeting – apart from the stockings’ – then show him what I’ve written.. – write anything that takes your fancy..
Apart from the fact it’s difficult to keep a straight face it’s makes for some very hot sex later in the day !
Incredible! Thanks for sharing
Wow the sexual tension bit! OK I’m not with a guy romantically but he and I are fuck buddies. I teased him a lot today, being subtle and suggestive which got him interested.
Make sure you use the sexy tone of voice, make flirty eye contact, lick your lips, etc. He started rubbing my inner thighs under the table at lunch! I was teasing him and he loved it.
Of course we went for a nature walk and ended up having sex in the woods. Great way to get in touch with nature!
I bloody love this blog.Very good and amazing sex tips
I bloody love this bad girls bible
Very sweet and hot blog.This is very intimate and interesting stuff.This stuff get me going
I absolutely love your tips! I have used a couple but want to do more and plan on it 😉
Keep’em coming!!!!
I have a no strings attached relationship with this guy, so far everything is working out great for both of us but he likes when I am on top and I’m afraid my way has become somewhat boring, how can I spice it up so it can be something he will not easily forget? Also what is the best way to build up sexual tension?
You’ll find tons of stuff in the newsletter and you should check out this article to build sexual tension.
can you please give me some pointers on how to suprise and spice it up in bed … my boyfriend from 5 years is very adventures in bed but im a bit afraid of not being able to satisfy him …. i want to brake that wall and blow his mind
Hi Stacy,
There’s tons of sex positions you should try here on the site, but you’ll also learn a ton of techniques from the sex tips newsletter here.
need some sex tips to spice up my sex life any advice
You might want to check out my famous sex tips newsletter here for some tips.
Hey Sean, so I have had this ….Thing going on with a guy for a few months but he’s out of the country. My friend Introduced me to him right before he left. We started texting and soon sexting. I really like him and we’ve even talked about visits and meeting up but I can’t help but feel like Im boring him and soon he’ll grow tired of me , is there a way I can keep things exciting and sexy even though he’s far away ?
Hi Andy, first up don’t worry too much about always being exciting. Most relationships aren’t always in a state of constant excitement. Sometimes they are and sometimes they’re actually pretty boring. My advice is to sign up for the Bad Girls Bible newsletter and use some of the tips in there to keep things fresh and fun.
I love all your tips and advise you give, and i do apply them to my sex life with my boyfriend he says iam the very best at a lot of things sexually, the problem is he never initiates any sexual advances toward me if i dont initiate sex it never happens, is there something i should be doing oe can do to change things. terry
Hi Terry, there are 2 things you can do.
1) Just hold back while building sexual tension with him. Eventually it should get to be so bad that he takes the initiative.
2) Talk to him in a open and non-confrontational way. This way you can let him know what you need from him to be satisfied.
Best,
Sean
Thanks Sean! I am 23 and I lost my virginity not long ago. I felt bad cause I am the first inexperienced women he has been with, and I could tell he was a bit disappointed when we had sex for the first time. I didn’t like it at all either since it was painful, but after reading and trying out your tips things are getting WAY better for both of us.
Long story short……I’ve been with this man for 5 years and we have a great sex life together. I would just like him to spent more time building up to sex before getting our clothes off. He’s great about playing around once we’re naked, but for me, it super exciting BEFORE the clothes come off. Feeling him get excited under his pants is a turn on, rubbing me BEFORE he takes my clothes off is very enticing. But I feel that if I tell him to wait …..I just think it kills some sponenaity. I think you’ll say that I should tell him. That just doesn’t seem the way to extend that period. What can I do to make that time, with our clothes still on, last a bit longer?
Thanks for your help!
Robin
Tell him about how important sexual tension is for you.
If you are the side dish in the main buffett….how do you make sure you are the only side dish? And how can you ensure that while having dessert he is still thinking of you?
Are blow jobs the secret?
How do you stay on his mind.
i am the one who does not really like givin blowjob much but my boyfriend always want me to give him,like all the time.. i feel too much choked and weird.. and i can’t do it more than one or two minutes. Can u help me with this? What should i do on improving my oral skills?
This video and this guide on deep throating should help.
Hi, Sean. I love all your tips and I look forward to the newsletter. Do you have any specific tips for keeping the fire of desire burning for couples who live 1000 miles apart and can only see each other every 3-4 months or so (until I move in about a year)? My guy and me are in our 50’s and do sexting and have phone sex but he isn’t as into it as he was 2 months ago (he has kids and a very demanding job). I want to keep the tension going but not be obnoxious.
Hi Liz, these tips should help!
Love love love all the tips and love even more the outcome of them all!!! I never knew a site like this existed and I’m so glad we found it! Me and my boyfriend have been together 10yrs and life kinda just got on top of us and we got 2lil babies that make it that much harder to find the time or try to be more romantic even. Any tips on finding more time?
If I tell my husband I would like him to recognize me and us on his Facebook, he digs his heels in and tells me that being told what to do makes him want to do the opposite.
We have only been married 2 years and I am always being super nice and accommodating.
Is there something that I can do before I trade him in for another model?
Hi Sean! I love the badgirl bible! My husband and I have been doing it for sometime now. I’ve been mixing it up a lot. But he acts like it’s not affecting him anymore. He doesn’t masterbate at all. What could I do to spice it up or make him really frustrated and thinking of me. Thanks!
There are literally hundreds of ideas. Check out the sex bucket list to start.
hi Sean you hv help me a lot .my husband now give me more attention than before.we are happy
.
Hi Sean
I’ve been seeing this guy for just over 6 months. I’m 25 and he is 43. We have great sex but sometimes I feel like im straining him. I like but hard core stuff but he is into the slow sensual stuff. Please advise me on how I can learn to be more sensual and make love instead of just fu king.
First talk to him about this so you are both on the same page and secondly, check out the sensual sex guide.
I think “teasing” him about his mama just might the absolute wrong direction to go. First most men love their mama like no other, next do you really want his mind to flash to his mama then back to you trying to be coy? No. Let’s just keep the mama insults out of the equation. I know way too many men who say that kills any kind of mood.
Nice viewpoint. If you don’t get the psychological tension going, the physical moves will always fall a little flat.
I will no longerbtake sex advicefrom here again i read tips about being vocal… Well he dont like it not all men like the vocals in bed.. And my man only likes dirty jokes not dirty talk during or after sex… And i found my own way to please my man while giving him blow jobs what i read he hates alot…so please girls just ask what he likes and dont like up front cuz experiments dont work trust me it turned my man off alot now i feel embarrassed like i dont know what im doing in bed when really i do…the thing that is needed for great sex and relations is COMMUNICATION and TRUST in your partner will tell you what they like and dont like… My man got no pleasure cuz of the things i did and said would work not i also feel like i failed him in so many ways.. JUST USE YOUR HEAD AND COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR MAN AND TRUST HIM ALWAYS WHEN IT COMES TO A GREAT SEX LIFE…
Dear Sean,
Thank you very much for your great contents here.
It`s been more than two years I am in touch with a guy online over text and call. We never met, we have an incredible sexual chemistry and we sext a lot! He gets hard just by a single word of mine or my voice. I also turn badly on with him…
Since I was growing emotion for him and his characteristics, we decided to stop like three or four times but after a while each time he insisted on going on and he wants to meet in person. I still have feelings but how can I make him exclusively mine?
It may seem a bit house wrecking for some people, but I believe this could be as a competition rather than that.
Could you introduce me some sources for that please?
Thanks!
Sarah
I still have feelings but how can I make him exclusively mine?
Ultimately, it’s hard to give you concrete advice here as I don’t know all the intricacies of your relationship. Have you already talked to him about being exclusive?