Knowing how to please your man properly in the bedroom is absolutely vital if you want to make sure that your relationship with him stays strong…but don’t worry, this guide is going to show you exactly how to do that with 15 insanely powerful techniques…
1. Initiate Sex
What’s one way to please your partner sexually? Simple: initiate sex. Since men usually initiate sex [1, 2] (almost twice as often as women when dating ), they’re the ones who are rejected when women aren’t in the mood. Even if you say “Yes,” to sex more often than not, always having to initiate sex can get old for your man.
Side note: If you are currently struggling to orgasm during sex or masturbation, then you may want to learn about the Easy Orgasm Solution. It will teach you how to have multiple vaginal and full body orgasms during sex and masturbation. It works even if you currently struggle to orgasm during sex or when masturbating. You can find out more here.
So initiate yourself.
- Ask him if he wants to have sex.
- Strip down and walk into the room naked.
- Let him walk in on you masturbating.
- Tell him that you’re going to have sex as soon as you both get home together, or send him off in the morning with a kiss and a promise for later naughty times.
Check out 9 ways to initiate sex.
If you take the initiative, it’ll take a lot of pressure off of your man. It can make him feel more desired . Trust me; it will definitely please him.
You might wind up having more sex too, which most guys will absolutely love. Men associate more frequent sex with greater satisfaction . After all, men are more likely to regret the sex they don’t have, not the sex they have .
2. Learn How To Give A Fantastic Blowjob
If you have hung around the Bad Girls Bible for a while, then you’ll have read tons of blowjob techniques and tips on giving great head to your man. When you can literally ‘blow your man’s mind’ with oral sex, then he is very likely to return the favor. But remember that giving great head to your man is about more than just reading great tips and information. Giving great head requires that you practice and use the techniques that you read here.
If you want to give your man back-arching, toe-curling, screaming orgasms that will keep him sexually addicted to you, then you'll find them in my private and discreet newsletter. You'll also learn the 5 dangerous & "dumb" sex mistakes that turn him off and how to avoid them. Get it here.
Obviously, your man is going to appreciate it if you practice on him. However, a great idea is to practice a new technique first on a peeled banana before trying it on your man. Then you can surprise him with it. When you read the articles on the Bad Girls Bible on how to suck cock and how to give deep throat, you will realize that giving your man a truly awesome blow job requires more than just sucking on his penis. You need to become an expert at fondling, caressing, kissing and licking his dick as well as paying attention to his ass and testicles too.
If you want to learn my most powerful techniques for giving your man a great blow job, then you will probably want to use the techniques I teach in this blow job instructional video.
3. Don’t Forget His Balls
Testicles might not be the sexiest part of a man’s body, and they usually play second fiddle to a guy’s penis, but balls and scrotum can be quite sensitive due to the tissue and nerves contained ! Some people describe them as an erogenous zone and we agree !
So don’t forget them when you’re going down on or stroking your man and have a free hand. In some penetrative positions, you may be able to reach down and fondle his balls, too.
You can try a number of techniques including
- Cupping his balls
- Massaging his testicles
- Tugging gently – make sure you don’t hurt him!
- Sucking his balls and sack – get advice here
Paying attention to his balls is a great way to satisfy a guy sexually and can set you apart from other partners.
4. Participate In Sex Actively
It’s hard to connect with your partner during sex if they’re still and silent. That’s why you should participate actively during sex. This can start even before sex if you initiate, as I mentioned in the first tip.
During sex, you can do things such as heavy breathing and moaning, switching positions, getting on top (find out how to ride your man with confidence), pulling at the sheets or scratching him in pleasure, and wrapping your legs around him or pulling him closer to you in positions such as Missionary. You can even pull him into you right before penetration to show how much you want/need him.
Most of these things are signs of enthusiasm. Enthusiasm is key when it comes to being good in bed. What you lack in technique, you can almost always make up for in enthusiasm.
5. Touch His Whole Body
It’s all too easy to focus on the genitals (and breasts) when being sexual, but the body contains more than just the obvious erogenous zones. More on that here. And almost any part of your body can be sensual once you’re turned on.
So run your hands over his chest, arms, and back. Use your nails if he doesn’t mind or even likes a little pain. Touch his face. Stroke or tug on his hair. Grab his ass. Caress his hips.
Imagine the sexual energy leaving your fingertips (or another body part) and surging into his. Now, this certainly can sound a little woo-woo, but if you can get out of your head and into your body you’ll both find sex a lot more satisfying.
Make sure to pay close attention to the signs that he enjoys sex with you so that you can tell what he likes and doesn’t like.
6. Try New Sex Positions
So giving a great blowjob is obviously important for pleasing your man in bed. But something that most guys consider more important than getting head from their girl is having great sex. The easiest way to improve your sexual abilities is to learn some great sex positions that feel fabulous for your man.
But here’s the thing about finding and learning good sex positions to please your boyfriend with…
Different guys like different positions.
You may find that your man loves being on top and in control when you are having sex. Or maybe you’ll find that he prefers having doggy style sex or that he loves it when you are on top of him. The quickest way to find out what sex positions please your man the most is to ask him. But this is not always the sexiest or fun thing to do. A much more fun way to find out which positions he likes is to just try them and see which ones please him the best.
7. Keep It Varied
Variation is not exactly the most specific sex tip or technique that you can use on your man. But without variety, your man can get bored of sex. The desire for novelty is one of the most common sexual fantasies [9 p 12]. Animals, including humans, experience renewed sexual behavior in response to sexual novelty [10, 11, 12, 13].
Variation means that you need to constantly try new things with your man.
It doesn’t mean that you should totally forget about what already works well for pleasing him. Keep doing what works well, obviously.
Instead, it means that you should be trying new and different positions, techniques and things with your man while still using the tried and trusted stuff.
Sometimes these new things that you try won’t work at all, but in the process, you’ll find things that work incredibly well and are incredibly pleasing to your man.
8. Talk Dirty
If you have never tried talking dirty to your man before, then you are missing out! Practically all men like it when their girl talks dirty to them.
But don’t be fooled into thinking that talking dirty requires you to be overly sexual.
A lot of dirty talk is very subtle and even sounds a little subdued. Check out these dirty talk examples and phrases for example. A lot of them are not that ‘out there’ but still will turn your man on.
The really cool thing about talking dirty to your man is that it helps to create a little world between the 2 of you. It can sort of be like your own secret language that others have no idea about. One aspect that few people first realize when learning how to talk dirty to please their man is that it’s not just good for turning your man on.
It’s also great for building sexual tension, for keeping your man thinking about you and for teasing him as well as the simple fact that it makes your relationship more fun and exciting.
Quick note: If you just came here looking for my famous tutorial video on how to talk dirty to your man to build sexual tension, turn him on and keep him thinking about you, then you can watch it here.
Whether you choose to utter sweet nothings or getting a little nastier, consider the tone of your voice. You probably want to talk a little softer and slower than usual but not so much that you sound ridiculous. Furthermore, while you can yell and moan out loud, sometimes it has a bigger impact to whisper something into your man’s ear during sex. This is perfect for letting him know how good something feels, that you love him, or even just to say his name.
Whispering means you have to get closer so he can hear you, and it’s super intimate.
9. Ask Him to Play With Your Booty
Imagine this: you’re having sex, and it’s great. You don’t want it to stop. You only want more pleasure and intensity. What do you do?
You tell your guy:
“Finger my ass.”
What does he do?
He agrees because he’s also crazy turned on, and it’s the hottest thing you could say, especially if you’re not typically into anal play and he’s expressed interest in it before. This might sound like it’s more about pleasing you (find out the benefits of anal fingering) than satisfying your man, but many men want to explore anal pay but never get to.
If you find that you like it, you can proceed to anal sex, too.
Read More: How To Have Pain-Free Anal Sex
Roleplaying is great for exploring the fantasies that you and your man have. It’s as simple as that. Most people have a lot of different fantasies that range from the stereotypical ones like schoolgirl/headmaster or dominant/submissive, while others are not something that everybody knows about.
It’s okay and normal if not every scenario feels right .
The single best way to get your man to open up about his fantasies is to first tell him some of yours. Once he knows that you are comfortable with different fantasies, then he will be 10 times more likely to tell you his. As you act out each other’s fantasies, you’ll both become more and more comfortable with expressing each other’s more ‘out there’ fantasies. You can talk about fantasies before acting them out to discover your limits .
When talking about roleplaying and each other’s fantasies, it’s important to be both open & non-judgemental to whatever his fantasies are, even if they are things that you don’t necessarily want to try.
11. Switch Locations
Changing the location of where you have sex is probably the easiest thing you can do while figuring out how to please your man. There are so many easy to think of sex locations that are worth trying at least once.
- In the shower
- Elsewhere around the house
- On a beach
- In the woods
- A place where you might get caught
WARNING: Make sure when choosing a sex location that you are not breaking any laws.
You don’t need to do everything on this list each time you have sex to please your man, but making an effort to find out more about his sexual preferences and bring him more pleasure will have a big payoff – and hopefully, he’ll return the favor!
12. Stimulate His Prostate
Another sensitive spot on a man’s body that is sometimes overlooked is his prostate. You might be aware of the prostate as an organ that gives great pleasure, so it only makes sense to play with his prostate if you want to satisfy him sexually. You may also know that you can access his prostate through his anus . This is actually one reason why so many men (and their partners) are hesitant to try prostate play.
But did you know you can stimulate his prostate through his perineum, the area between his balls and anus (sometimes called the “taint”)? Perhaps you’d be interested to know that prostate play gives some men a different type of orgasm  or even allows them to become multiply orgasmic (learn how to do this for yourself)!
Those are some pretty strong reasons to try prostate play today! You can stimulate his prostate during a handjob (tips here), oral sex, and some sex positions.
Check out the following posts about prostate play for more information:
- Prostate Massage 101: Multiple, GIGANTIC, Shaking, Full-Body Orgasms!
- Male G Spot: Where It Is & How To Stimulate It For Pleasure
You might also be interested in pegging, where a woman penetrates a man anally. If your guy likes prostate play, he might find pegging especially pleasing! Try some of these 17 pegging positions when do it.
13. Tell Him When – and Where to Cum
Do you want to know a little secret? You can control when your guy cums. Many guys try to last longer because they think you want sex to last longer, but that’s not always the case. Sometimes you want sex to end, or maybe you just think it would be hot if he ejaculated into (or on you) right now.
So what can you do? Easy. Just tell him you want him to cum. Hearing those words will send most men over the edge.
And if you want to take it one step further, let him know where you want him to cum, whether that be inside you (vagina, ass, or mouth), or on your body (stomach, face, breasts, etc.).
Commanding him like this works well if you’re role-playing, and chances are you’ll feel pretty powerful doing so.
Learn more ways to make a guy cum hard.
Psst, if you’re interested in dominating your man, even more, check out this guide to femdom.
14. Increase Intensity During His Orgasm
As your man is cumming, try this: scratch him or dig your nails in. You could also bite, spank, or pinch him. The juxtaposition between a bit if pain and pleasure can be delightful.
However, this all depends on your man’s tolerance for pain. Doing this might not satisfying him sexually if he absolutely cannot stand or doesn’t like pain. Your best bet is to talk to him before you try anything like this!
15. Play With His Cum
While this might sound a little bizarre, it’s helpful to remember that you can continue to sexually satisfy him after he’s come. You can massage yourself with him cum, or you might lick it up.
The sight will definitely be hot, and might even encourage him to get hard and go again!
If you do this, he might just think you’re a freak in bed – in a good way!
..But Don’t Do This
So far you’ve learned how to satisfy a guy sexually, and there a lot of things you want to do to sexually satisfy a guy. However, there are definitely some things you don’t want to do.
First, don’t overdo it with the moaning and screaming. Make sounds naturally to express your pleasure, but there’s no need to fake it.
Speaking of faking it, don’t fake your orgasms. You’re only training your man to do what you don’t like.
Next, don’t bring up your exes – even to compare him to them favorably. You might think it’s a compliment, but many guys don’t want to hear about his partner’s old lovers when he’s in the sack.
My last suggestion is controversial…don’t tell him his penis is the biggest you’ve ever had, especially if he’s average. Men are very aware of their size and already know if big or small. If you say something this like to him, it won’t please him. It will just sound patronizing and dishonest. Instead, try complimenting his skills and commenting on your compatibility and relationship.
Of course, if he is packing a monster, feel free to compliment him.
Related: The 13 signs that a man likes going down on you.
It Takes Two to Tango
While it’s important to try to please your lover, it’s not all up to you to make sure he’s sexually satisfied. You can make yourself miserable trying to please him if he’s simply impossible to please. And if he doesn’t want to be pleased, what more can you do?
Even if you’re a good lover who is doing her best, there may be underlying issues such as health conditions, medications, anxiety, etc. that can be impeding your partner’s pleasure. If he feels guilty over his sexuality, he may be less satisfied . Even aging has a negative correlation with sexual satisfaction [19, 20].
Remember that your pleasure is equally important.
So, if he’s not trying to please you, it might not be worth the effort on trying to satisfy him. But if something gets you off, it’s likely your man will like it. Studies have revealed more similarities than differences between groups of people (such as men and women) when it comes to sexual satisfaction .
Finally, don’t measure pleasure simply by orgasm. Although men are typically able to cum with ease, that’s not always the case. You can still enjoy each other even if he doesn’t always cum.
Therapist Laurie Watson shares five sex tips about men for women in this article on Psychology Today. You can use these tips to better please your partner.
Dr. Sarah Hunter wrote this article to help women understand that men need to feel desired, and it’s not just techniques that are pleasing.
You might be familiar with sex therapist Ian Kerner’s book She Comes First, but he has one to help women please their male partners, too: Passionista.
The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex by Sheila Wray Gregoire is a great resource if you want to a whole book about how to sexually satisfy him.
For those with female partners: If you want to completely sexually satisfy your female partner, then check out these 31 great sex tips for men to please their partner.
Frequently Asked Questions
FAQ #1 – How can I tell if I am pleasing my man if he never makes any noise?
Some people are quieter in bed than others, and this is often the case with men who often learn silence as a way to hide their masturbation habits. However, if you’re like many women, you might want your man to make some noise when he’s enjoying this.
Not only can this be a turn on, but it assures you that you’re doing something right and can even clue you into techniques that are especially effective.
If you let your man know that you find moaning and heavy breathing hot and how wild it drives you, he might be more likely to make more noise in bed.
You can also try dirty talking as a way to open up. “That feels so good” or “I love when you do that” communicate desires and passion. Try it and see if he picks it up. Or you can sultrily ask him if he likes what you’re doing. Try not to ask too many questions during sex, however, because it can be distracting.
You can also look to his body language to determine whether or not he likes something.
It’s a good sign if he’s relaxed when you’re fooling around; tension can mean he’s not really comfortable (although, a man’s body often becomes tense right before orgasm). Other signs that he’s enjoying himself include:
- Quickened pulse
- Faster and heavy breathing
- Pushing his body closer to yours
- Grinding against you
- Hips bucking
- Pulling you closer
- Guiding your body into position or for more intense stimulation
- Gasping – a sharp inhale of breath can also mean pain, however
Finally, you can talk to him about your sex life outside of the bedroom. This is a great habit to get into for a number of reasons. Talking about sex allows you to check in, figure out what you could be doing better and what’s already awesome about your sex life. Just because he’s quiet between the sheets doesn’t mean that he won’t reassure you or offer you guidance over lunch.
FAQ #2 – How do I get my man to talk about sex so I can figure out how to please him better?
Even if your man is open to dirty talking and makes plenty of noise during sex, he might struggle to talk about sex at other times. You might wonder what, if anything, he wants to explore. Perhaps you have some theories about what he’s into, but you’re not sure how to bring it up.
First, most conversations about sex should happen outside of the bedroom unless you’re offering specific advice in the moment such as “to the left, please.” Next, try to keep the conversation light. Add humor. While sex can be a serious topic, it’s all too easy to assume a talk will go bad or to treat a discussion about sex as fraught. Both of these things can lead to negative outcomes such as rejection or arguing.
So you might start by simply saying, “Hey, I’d love to talk about ways we can make our awesome sex life even better.” You could also open up the discussion by talking about your fantasies and things you’d like to do in bed then encourage your partner to discuss his own fantasies.
Remember that if he comes from a conservative household, was raised religious, is sexually inexperienced, or feels guilty about any of his sexual urges, then talking about sex will be more difficult. It can take time for people to feel comfortable and open up with their partners, especially if they feel shame about their sexual interests.
You might use a website or app to discover more about your partner’s sexuality if face-to-face conversations are too difficult.
A professional therapist can also help couples learn to communicate about sex and open up.
However, don’t just assume that your man is repressed or has secret desires that he hasn’t told you. Some people are not as interested in sex, are not sexually creative, or are simply content with more basic sexually activities (this is also known as being “vanilla”).
FAQ #3- Can I still please my man if I want sex less than he does?
Yes! Encourage him to explore his sexuality through masturbation. Many people masturbate when they’re in relationships. It’s perfectly healthy and can be satisfying in a way that sex isn’t. You might also encourage him to watch porn.
Don’t forget that you can be sexual together without having penetrative sex. Consider mutual masturbation (learn more), outercourse, or simply being present while he masturbates himself. You could help stroke him, perhaps with a sex toy (using a vibrator is associated with men’s sexual satisfaction ). Reading erotica to your man while he jerks off can be hot, too.
These activities may get you in the mood for sex, but that’s not the point. You can remain sexually connected even without having sex.
Finally, focus on quality over quantity.
Sometimes it’s better to spend more time having better sex than it is to have sex all the time that’s mediocre.
FAQ #4 – Why doesn’t anything I do seem to please my man?
It’s understandably frustrating if you’re trying to be giving and game in bed, but you don’t seem to be getting anywhere. Ask yourself a few questions.
- Are you sure he’s displeased? Perhaps he’s just quiet (see above) or learned to be reserved. Don’t assume he’s unhappy without talking to him first.
- Is your relationship new? You’ll become more in sync over time as you learn what each other wants and needs in order to be sexually satisfied. Jitters will also decrease as you become more comfortable with each other.
- Does he know himself? It’s more typical for a woman to be unaware of her sexual preferences because she’s never masturbated than for a man to be in the same position, but it can happen. And when it does, you might feel frustrated because you don’t know what to do and he may not know what to ask for. Encourage your man to masturbate to discover more about himself and to teach you those things.
- Does he masturbate too much? A common problem men have is that they’re so used to how they masturbate, usually furiously and with a tight fist, that sexual activity fails to provide the intensity they need. If you think this is the case with your man, encourage him to back off masturbating for a few weeks.
- Have you talked to him about it? The best person to answer any question about how your partner feels is… your partner! Follow the advice for talking about sex from above to get the conversation started. You might also encourage him to be more vocal about different techniques so you can learn what he wants and needs.
- Is your partner impossible to please? If so, this might be on him, especially if he expects something you cannot possibly provide. If he’s okay with alternative solutions such as masturbation, you might be able to continue. However, it may not be worth it, especially if the next point applies.
- Does your partner criticize your sexual performance to hurt you? In cases like these, you don’t need to focus on pleasing your man. Instead, consider whether you should be breaking up with someone who treats you poorly and takes you for granted.
- Are there relationship issues? No matter how amazing you might be in bed, relationship issues can affect your sex life. You can’t fix relationships with good sex no matter how hard you try. Work on that foundation and see if the sex improves (discover how to improve your sex life).
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