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Is your sex life all about stripping down, getting it on and getting off without any variety? Tease and denial games increase sexual tension, making you feel powerful and leaving him begging for more (or vice versa). Discover the hottest ways to deny orgasm after teasing him into a frenzy!
Do teasing and denial games sound silly? Maybe you don’t understand them. There’s something great about getting what you want right now, but there’s something to be said for teasing. For starters, it builds sexual tension. When your man teases you into a frenzy but doesn’t allow or help you to orgasm, you’ll be unable to think about anything else until you can finally orgasm.
Side note: If you are currently struggling to orgasm during sex or masturbation, then you may want to learn about the Easy Orgasm Solution. It will teach you how to have multiple vaginal and full body orgasms during sex and masturbation. It works even if you currently struggle to orgasm during sex or when masturbating. You can find out more here.
Sexual tension is one reason why having sex with someone for the first time feels so good, especially if you’ve had to wait for a while. Or if you’ve been separate from your man, you can appreciate how good it finally feels to be together again. Every touch feels more intense, and the orgasms that follow? Amazing!
We also think teasing and orgasm denial are worth it because you get to be so creative. From the implements you can add (more on that later) to the activities that work well with teasing, you’ve got the opportunity to create a sexual recipe so hot that he’ll melt at your fingertips.
How to Tease Your Man
We’re not going to give you a play-by-play on how to tease your man because we’ve already written the article about that. Go ahead, read it. But we’ll give you the summary if you’re in a hurry to try teasing and denying your man (or have him tease you).
- Dress up sexily. Show him what he’s missing, but don’t let him touch. Take it one step further and strip back down in front of him (not sure how? Read our advice). Slow and sexy does it best. Work a lap dance into the process, and he’ll be out of his head!
- Snap a photo to send it while you’re both at work. Send a scintillating text message, leave a sultry voice message or, better yet, instigate a little phone sex on his lunch break.
- Flash him “accidentally.” This is easy to do if you forget panties when you’re on your way to dinner, or you can let a nip slip when you hop out of the shower.
- Masturbate in front of him. He’ll want to touch, but that’s where you deny him the option!
- Brush up against him as you walk by, rest your hand dangerously close to his crotch as you cuddle or even lean over him, so your breasts touch him. He’ll notice, believe us!
- Start a quick makeout or oral sex session — but don’t finish. Do just enough to get his engine running but not so much that he takes off.
Items You Can Use for Tease and Denial
The following items work well for orgasm denial and the teasing that leads up to it. Get a few ideas from this (or try something we may have forgotten).
- Blindfolds are perfect for increasing anticipation. Your partner doesn’t know where or even when you’ll touch him – or what you’ll touch him with. If you’ve never used a blindfold before, we recommend using it the first time during typical sex to get used to it. It might not seem like a big idea, but blindfolds really add to the experience.
- What better way to tease someone than with a vibrator? And if your man is the one who is teasing and denying you, he can get you incredibly excited and close to orgasm with your favorite toy, only to stop before you fall over that edge.
- Technically a remote-controlled vibrator is still a vibrator, but we’re listing this separately because it’s so useful when it comes to teasing someone until they’re on the brink of orgasm.
- Chastity devices might seem a little (or a lot) old-fashioned, but they certainly lend themselves to tease and denial games! Cock cages are used on guys while the ladies can choose from modern chastity belts, which look more like dildo harnesses than the traditional designs
- What better to deny someone an orgasm than bondage gear? Cuffs and other restraints mean that your partner can’t take things into his own hands (bondage tips). This brings us to our next point.
Orgasm Denial and BDSM
If you think that teasing and denial work well with BDSM (learn more here), then you’re correct! Power exchange is a common element of BDSM and teasing games. When you don’t let your man orgasm, you’re the one with all the power.
Related: If you want to give your man back-arching, toe-curling, screaming orgasms that will keep him sexually addicted to you, then you'll find them in my private and discreet newsletter. You'll also learn the 5 dangerous & "dumb" sex mistakes that turn him off and how to avoid them. Get it here.
Related: 6 Wild BDSM Games to Keep Things Hot
Or maybe you like to submit in the bedroom. Read more being submissive. Then it’s your man with the power to grant or deny orgasm. Either way, you’ll start with these BDSM basics.
Psst, you’ll want to take safety into consideration whenever you tie anyone up or hurt them erotically. Learn more about BDSM safety.
And the Denial
In its purest form, orgasm denial is just that: not allowing your partner or yourself to come. There isn’t much that we need to say.
However, some people do attempt for ruined orgasms. A ruined orgasm is when your orgasm is physically ruined. For men, it can mean stimulating until he’s nearly to the point of return, then stopping all stimulation. He may still orgasm, but it’s not the same.
Related: Ruined Orgasm – What It Is, How To Give One & Why Guys Like Them
Another method is to pinch the head of his penis so that his orgasm won’t be intense.
Tease and Denial Games
The following orgasm denial games are perfect for drawing out the teasing and meting out appropriate punishment. Some of them allow your man to work for his orgasm while others are less kind. And many of them get you off in the process, too!
1. Coin Flip
Will the luck of the flip be with you? A simple coin toss allows you to determine whether your partner (or yourself) gets off! If luck isn’t with you, a night full of teasing leads to denial. But if you’re lucky, you can finish with an orgasm.
You can use a single die or app for a similar effect. Odd numbers can be “Yes” while even numbers can mean “No.” Or you can modify a classic game like Yahtzee. If your partner gets five-of-a-kind in three rolls, he also gets off.
2. Task Master
For those who would rather not rely on luck to determine whether an orgasm is permissible, you can assign a task. A popular version requires giving your partner 10 pennies, one for each finger. He must hold the pennies against his body while standing up while you do naughty things like performing oral sex. If he drops them, his orgasm is denied, at least for now.
But for those who can complete the task satisfactorily? Their own bit of satisfaction will be meted out.
You can easily adjust this task. Here are a few alternatives.
- Reading aloud from a book without pause or stumbling
- Reciting a poem, recipe, prime numbers or the alphabet
- Holding something breakable
- Counting spankings (Read: All About Erotic Spanking), thrusts, etc
- Making eye contact while one/both of you jerks off.
Feel free to get creative here. Any task that requires concentration and remaining in a physical pose is a good one.
When your partner succeeds, he gets the reward of getting off. If he should fail, nothing! You could take it one step further and add punishment if you’d like.
Discover how to dominate your man.
3. Red Light, Green Light
The classic children’s game works well for tease and denial. One of you gets to control the lights. When green, stimulation can happen. When red, it must stop.
Your man is only allowed to orgasm during green light; otherwise, he’s in trouble! And if he can’t get off at all during the game, it’ll have to wait until next time.
4. Getting You Off First
This game rewards your partner only if he gets you off. Choose how you want to get off (fingers, toy, thrusting, oral, etc.) then let him at it. If he can provide you with an orgasm within a specified timeframe, he gets to get off, too. If you want to focus more on denial, give him a chance of getting off by using a coin toss.
And if he fails entirely? No orgasm. No chance. And none for him tomorrow, either!
5. Time’s Up
Grab a timer or, more likely, set one on your phone. Let your man know that he can come if he can do it before the timer runs down! You can make it more challenging by requiring how he gets off: using his non-dominant hand, with a strange object such as a feather, without any hands, through anal stimulation, etc.
6. Stroking Games
We’re all familiar with TV and movie-based drinking games. When a character a particular actor says a catchphrase, you take a shot. Now, replace those shots with sexual activities such as manual or oral stimulation, but there’s a catch. The act has a time limit that you set, whether it’s a specific time or simply when the movie/show ends.
We like a naughtier version of this where you watch porn. Instead of waiting for specific cues, you simply mimic what’s happening on the screen. But you can’t get carried away because you need to switch up every time they do (and you know that’s often!). If you can’t orgasm when the actor(s) do, then you’re out of luck.
7. Scrabble Tiles
One bag of scrabble tiles. All night long. Here are the rules.
Every time he gets you off, he gets a Scrabble tile. When he can spell a word worth 20 points, he can finally achieve orgasm. But if he’s unable to spell anything or doesn’t realize when he can make a word (no helping him!), he’s denied after all that tease.
You can start over every day if you’re especially devious. Or he can collect his tiles over a period of time if you’re not multi-orgasmic or the two of you don’t have a lot of time, and you want to make it a bit easier on him. This means he might have to wait some time until he’s able to come!
The Rest of Your Questions About Tease and Denial
Q: How long should these tease and denial games last?
A: It depends on the specific activities. Timed games offer shorter periods of stimulation, but you can stimulate your man on and off for hours if you’ve got the time. Like the Scrabble tile game suggests, this can go on for days or even weeks if you’re especially naughty!
Basically, you want to keep him engaged and not bored. At some point, he’ll lose interest, so you need to carefully toe that line.
Q: How does edging play into this?
Edging is the act of bringing someone close to orgasm them backing off repeatedly. When you finally do let them orgasm, it’s intense! With teasing and denial games, there might not be a big payoff right away, but the same concept applies.
Learn more about edging.
Q: Are there any tools to use?
A: Yes! Sites like Edge Me Please (http://edgemeplease.com) allow you to create edging sessions, and you can use it to create an orgasm denial game for your man or yourself.
Q: Can I do this without a partner?
A: At the Bad Girls Bible, We obviously suggest that everyone gets comfortable with masturbation, and you can adapt teasing and denial to be a solo sport. Obviously, it’s easier with a partner, but you can use tools like Edge Me Please, self bondage and coin tossing to get your own engine revved up. But if you can’t get off before the timer ends or if the coin flip isn’t in your odds, no orgasm for you tonight!
The art of teasing and denial requires a balance, but if you can find it, you’ll both have an amazing time. He might even beg for you more orgasm denial!
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Michelle R Hart says
#4 should most always be the case when joining sexually with a female! Blah, blah, blah this is the male’s chance for healing. Yes i said healing. The female essence is released upon orgasm and the male’s penis, granting that it has met the four conditions required to enter the”Jade Palace”, is prime for absorption of that essence. Hence the huge energetic potential for healing or. .. And what’s with spelling the word cum come? Editing? Lol
JP says
There’s nothing wrong with tease and denial. Even though I sometimes have issues with orgasms there’s nothing sexier and kinkier than being told I should pass on getting orgasms for a period of time. My wife still enjoys my manhood but I don’t necessarily get to orgasm.
Lynn McGinty says
I have to be honest, I’m 62 and have just squirted for the first time.
That was amazing.
And my boyfriend actually loves my BJ. He’s never been able to cum in someone’s mouth 👄. And I get him to orgasum 3 times in 1 BJ session.
Oh did I forget to tell you, my BJ last at LEAST 30 minutes. The longest has been 1 1/2 hours. Mmmmm that was sooo amazing.
Veronica says
Wow!! I aspire to be more like you! It’s a relief to know squirting is real & that I still have some time!! lol Thanks for sharing