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The art of the flirty text message is a fine one, and things can get awkward if it is not handled correctly. To make things worse, your texts will be recorded in cyberspace. Do not let this stop you from sending flirty text messages though because texting can be a great tool for connecting with a new guy, or reconnecting with your longtime love. Plus, I’m going to give you 119 very hot examples you can use.
One important rule before you start mass sending flirty text message is that you need to crawl before you walk. And keep in mind that sending nude images is rarely a good idea, and illegal if you are under 18. Flirty text messages can be fun for both parties, and brighten up your day if done right, so follow these rules and you’ll find it simple! And if you’re looking for even more tips on flirting, read this detailed guide.
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Make it Personal
Sometimes things that have no meaning at all and are even out of context, can bring back an illicit memory or warm feeling. For example, if you had a romantic vacation, got a little messed up on a certain drink and did things you thought you would never do, then a simple flirty text message with the words: “Tequila Sunset and Bora Bora memories have me grinning and no one here knows why.” Will bring those same memories to your lover’s mind.
Get more tips like this in our post that teaches you how to flirt with a guy over text.
Take it Slow
Do not make the first thing you text be details about how you want it dirty and where. Instead ease in, flirt without giving it all away. Texting is not having phone sex. It take finesse to flirt, yet not reveal too much at once. Try something like: “I just smelled your cologne on my shirt from our kiss this morning… now I suddenly cannot wait to see you tonight.” This conveys physical attraction without putting it all out there in text. Perfect for building sexual tension…speaking of which, you might like this article on how to build massive amounts of sexual tension with your man.
Ask a Question
If you are hesitant to text a guy you are into, then break the ice with a question. If you have a class together ask a question about the class, or work, or whatever common interest you share. If all else fails go with: “Can you please help me fix my slow computer?” Or something that is relevant to his expertise. The concept is old-fashioned, and today there are few damsels in distress. However, flattering his ego is a great way to start a relationship. If you are looking for dirtier questions, here’s more than 40!
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Paint a Picture With Words
So you’re sitting home waiting for your guy to arrive, but he has to work late. Hurry his pace with a flirty text that shows more than it tells. I am looking at three things: “A half-empty bottle of red wine, a pile of my clothes, and a marathon of our favorite show. The only thing missing is you… :)” Instead of complaining about him being late, you showed him what he was missing.
Do you have a safe word? Or something that is completely inappropriate to bring up in public, yet sounds relatively innocent? A single text of your safe word, or an inside joke is a great way to bring a smile and perhaps a blush to his face while you are away. If your safe word was pineapple for example then this text would seem innocent but he would know better “I am really in the mood to try some PINEAPPLE tonight…. ;)” When you send a flirty text message, you are basically whispering in your lover’s ear no matter how crowded the area.
Sure you think your lover is sexy and you want him to know it. However, every flirty text message does not have to be sexy. Humor is a great way to bond, and cheer up your love while you are not together. It can be a silly joke, or whatever works. Try this one to be both funny and provocative: “How fast can you guess these words?”
- _ _ _ k
- _ _ndom
Then once he texts back, you can correct him…these are the answers:
- duck Did you get them right, I hope not because I did not! 😉
Say something that would make you laugh. After all, flirting can be fun, and women report flirting because of this .
Say it Another Way
Do you know how to say I love you in Spanish, French, or German? “Ta amo. Je t’aime. Ich liebe dich.” Add variety by saying it another way. This also works for phrases other than I love you, such as “you make me hot”. “Usted me hace caliente.” Flirty text messages can teach your guy a little culture.
Say What You Are Really Feeling.
You do not always have to be super clever, or flirty. Just the words “Thinking of you” in a single line of text is to the point and sweet. Texting can be a great way to connect throughout the day with established lovers.
Text about what interests your lover. If he follows a sports team, then a text supporting that team or celebrating a win shows you care about him as a friend. “Go Raiders! They Kicked Butt Tonight!” Showing support for a team he supports and follows is also a great way to start a text dialog with a new guy. Don’t forget to show this same enthusiasm when you are having sex…speaking of which, if you want a masterclass in sex, you may be interested in reading my infamous newsletter.
Open the Door for a Date
If your relationship is not to the point of sexy texts, or I love you messages in another language then a casual text that shows you’re available to hang out without pressure is key. Try the breezy “I have worked hard all week and want to cut loose tonight, you game?” Or, “A group of us are going to the movies but no one wants to see the movie I want to see, want to keep me company?” This is relaxed, casual, and shows you’re interested in spending time with him without putting on the pressure if he is not interested.
Daily conversation starters will fall in your lap if you are observant. You do not need to be up to date on all the latest news. However, if you happen to notice that there is going to a meteor shower in your area that night, then you would have the opportunity to text: “I am going to be staring at the sky on a blanket for a once in a lifetime show, and you’re invited.” Your observations about the world around you can make your flirty text messages even better.
Challenge Your Lover
You do not need to be a dictionary, but do not be afraid to show your intelligence. Tell him something about the world that you do not think he knew, broaden his horizons even if it is with a technically useless fact such as “Your body contains enough iron to make a 3-inch nail.”
The Old Blank Text Move
If you are unsure exactly what to send, don’t send anything. When/if he replies saying he received a text from you with no actual text, you can take it any direction you are comfortable with. From “Oh, I guess my phone read my mind.” to “I have no idea how that happened but how are ya?” If you want to instead send something dirtier, then you will appreciate all the dirty text messages you’ll find in this guide.
Ham It Up
Cheesy pickup lines can bring a smile to his face if sent at the right time. Try an old classic like “Do you have a name, or can I call you mine?” Silly lines will often make your guy grin, and if your relationship is new and he does not respond the way you hope you can back it out like it was just a joke.
Play it Cool
Do not reveal all in a text, or even a series of texts. If an important revelation of feelings is going to occur, it should be face to face. Pull away if things get too intense and actually dial a phone or drive to his location. Keep things light and flirty when you are not face-to-face. If he does try to reveal something important try “Can we meet tonight and chat face to face?” Then you can see his face when he declares his love, or true intentions for the first time. No matter how fun the flirty text messages are, that moment should be tangible.
Do Not Be Afraid To Use Emoticons, but Don’t Over Use Them
Emoticons can reveal your tone, and this is important during texting. “I have had such a long day, let’s get drinks ;)” sounds really flirty just because there is a ‘wink’ emoticon at the end.
Emojis can also be helpful to convey a message using images. They’re commonly used. But remember that not everyone likes emojis .
Allow the Messages to End Without Replying Immediately
You do not have to have the last word. No matter how witty you can be, know when to leave it hanging until tomorrow. Don’t let things reach that awkward stage. So once things get a little trite, just leave him hanging. Sometimes what you don’t say speaks very loudly.
Flirt as If You Were Face to Face
Flirt by text in a similar fashion as you would face to face, assuming you are particularly vivacious. For example send the text, “Cut it out!” and when he asks Cut what out? You can reply, “You have got to cut back on how much you have been thinking of me!” It is a bold text, but if you are confident, go for it.
Many people are aware that people tend to be more bolder when speaking online as compared to in person , and you can use this to your advantage by saying things like this.
More Flirty Text Messages
If you need a bit more inspiration or if you’ve flirted it up over text and used all the ones above, here are some more ideas! Feel free to adapt them to your situation or crush.
- I’m sorry, I just can’t wait for you to make the first move, so I’m doing it now!
- As it turns out, the attractive guy I saw at the store wasn’t you. Oops!
- I smile every time I see your alert popup, so I hope you will, too, when you see this.
- You look fantastic in your recent selfie/pictures.
- Don’t you just hate when you want to get dinner (or drinks), and no one will take you up on it?
- You’ll never guess what we did in a dream I had last night!
- It just so happens that there’s enough room on my loveseat for a snuggle buddy.
- Should this conversation be friendly, flirty, or sexy?
- I was looking at the clock and thinking it’s about time you make a move on me!
- I love all this texting, but I think our lips should do the talking and not our fingers.
- It seems like my dog/cat/goldfish misses you as much as I do!
- I’d like to up my flirting game. Can I practice with you?
- I’m texting to get a reply, but I’d like an invitation to dinner/drinks even more.
- If I haven’t been clear about my feelings: yes, I have them for you!
- I just hate when I message a cutie and he takes forever to text back. Don’t do that to me.
- I have so much fun flirting with you over text.
- Your mirror is so lucky to look at you every morning.
- I wonder if you’re an amazing lover in real life like you are in my dreams.
- Sweet dreams. I wonder if you’ll be in mine again.
- Funny how you’re on my mind as soon as I wake up.
- I’m adding you to my to-do list.
- I bet you looked great today. Too bad I didn’t have a chance to see you!
- I’m so glad your parents got together and made you.
- My phone has a group of contacts that are 10s. But you’re the only one in it.
- I’m so lucky to live in a time when I get to meet you.
- Want to play naughty Simon Says?
- I imagine my next boyfriend looks an awful lot like you!
- I don’t know why I bother to shower when I just have all those dirty thoughts about you after.
- I can’t seem to get you out of my head. I wonder if it’s because I’m in yours.
- I want you to ask me a question I can’t say “No” to.
- When do you want to come over?
- My birthday/Christmas is coming up, and my wishlist only has one thing on it: you.
- Dinner at 7. Let’s do it!
- I don’t know how you do it. You must miss me like crazy!
- So little time, so many thoughts about you.
- A cold night like this is made for cuddles. Will you warm me up?
- I hear you’re taking me out tonight!
- [send a selfie] Guess what I’m thinking about? [after reply] You!
- I’d love to show you off to my friends sometime.
- You’ll never guess my secret.
- It’s so hard to sleep when I can’t stop thinking about you.
- [send a song link] This reminds me of you (or us).
- [send a photo of pizza/Chinese/etc] There’s too much food for one. Wanna help me out?
- You’re so distracting when I have things to do.
- How’d you get to be so cute?
- We should really have this conversation in person, instead.
- I bet being with you would be unforgettable.
- Do you want to know what my favorite flower is? [After “Yes”] Tulips. Now you know what to bring for our date!
- I’ll bring cookies/make dinner if you can guess the answer to this riddle.
- That shirt you wore today shows you have good taste!
- I better see you at [party or event]!
- I can’t believe we don’t spend more time together.
- Can you come over and help me cure my boredom?
- [after hanging out] It’s impossible to be bored with you.
- [send a picture of two outfit chocies] Which do you like better for our date?
- I can’t stop thinking about [date/sex/time spent together].
- I can be by yours with takeout in 30. You down?
- [With a picture of whipped cream or drizzle] Think we could find a use for this?
- I was thinking of buying this bra/panties/lingerie. [send a picture] What do you think?
- I wonder what you look like right now. Why not send me a picture?
- I’m just looking at my calendar and wondering what time I should leave open for you.
- Do you know that yoga makes you flexible? I’d love to show you!
- If you guess what I’m wearing correctly, I’ll send a picture of it.
- I couldn’t help but be a bit naughty when I was thinking about you before.
- Guess what I bought today? [Reply with sex toy/lingerie/etc]
- I was thinking of scheduling an adult game night — for two.
- Do you want to act our your favorite sexy movie scene?
- I’ve never had sex in a car/the kitchen/etc before. Maybe we can rectify that!
- We should trade sexual favors.
- I love to cook for/massage/etc my boyfriend. You’d know if we coupled up.
- I haven’t thought about/dreamed of/masturbated to anyone else since we met.
- Has the world always been this beautiful? Or is it just you?
- You’re so easy to talk to, and so hard not to talk to!
- Why should I sleep alone when there’s plenty of room in my bed for you?
- Have you ever heard of [sex position]? [If “No”]: We should try it out. [If “Yes”]: You should show me how to do it.
- I challenge you to a compliment competition. Go!
- I bet my hand would fit perfectly in yours.
- Congratulations! You’ve won a date with me. When should I expect you?
- Do you know enough about chemistry to explain this spark between us?
- I bet you can’t guess what I find most attractive about you.
- I won the lottery with you.
- It can’t be good for my heart to stop the way it did when I first saw you.
- The only thing more charming than your personality is your smile.
- A picture may be worth a thousand words, but that selfie you sent made me only think of one: Damn!
- It’s crazy how just thinking of you makes my pulse race.
- Tell me a sexy story.
- If I were there, where would you want my hands? My mouth?
- [Draw an X on a body part, send a picture] X marks the spot for kisses.
- I know you can’t help but show off with that great body.
- I hope you have enough energy after work/school for our plans tonight!
- You’re too good to even be real. Are you a unicorn or something?
- I had a great day today. The only thing that would have made it better is spending time with you.
- Do you ever want something in a totally irrational way? Yeah, that’s how I feel about you.
- Can you teach me how to flirt?
- Let’s play a game. If I correctly guess what you’re wearing, you have to take it off. How about it? (You can also try these games over text).
- What’s your favorite flirty text message? [After reply, send that message back]
- I don’t want to go to this [event] tonight. Give me a reason to bail!
- Your wits are as sharp as your looks.
- Who’s cuter? [send picture of you and pet]
Some Tips & Warnings
These examples are simply that, examples. Make sure to adapt them to suit your own personality. If you repeat them word-for-word them may seem wooden or unnatural.
Also, remember that flirting over text can be misconstrued, take things slow at first. It is important that you have fun with it along the way. Be witty, playful, and yourself, and don’t over think it. Have fun, and save the illicit and explicit pictures for much farther down the line, and not online at all. Flirty text messages can be sexy but often it’s hotter to save actual sex for the bedroom.
This post on LoveToKnow lists books you can read if you really need help with your flirting skills.
Art of Charm has detailed some helpful dos and don’ts when it comes to flirting over text.
Alpha M created a video with guidelines for flirting over text.
Frequently Asked Questions
FAQ #1 – Is there a best time to send a flirty text?
Yes and no. You might want to avoid sending him texts when he’s at work or school because this could get him in trouble. If he has audible alerts on, a text at night might wake him up. On the other hand, he’ll wake up to your message.
Some flirty texts are a great way to get a new conversation rolling. But if he hasn’t replied to multiple messages, it’s time to take the hint.
Read this if you’re wondering whether to text him.
Note that a late-night text is often perceived as a booty call.
FAQ #2 – Is it okay to send a sexy text?
While most guys won’t mind sexy texts, you might want to err on the side of caution. It’s a safe bet if he’s sent sexy messages (learn how to tell if he’s flirting with you), you’ve already had sex, or if you’ve discussed how attracted you are to one another. Otherwise, you can send a more ambiguous message. Fortunately, our list of flirty texts contains some more innocent messages.
If you’re looking for something naughtier, check out this list of sexy texts.
FAQ #3 – Do I have to send a picture?
Nope. That’s up to you and what you feel comfortable with. However, you can send a flirty selfie that doesn’t reveal much, or frame sexy photos so that your face doesn’t show. If someone ever pressures you into sending those type of pictures, you might want to dump them!
Beware that guys sometimes share those photos with their friends .
FAQ #4 – What service should I use to flirt over text?
It might come down to your comfort level or an app that you both like (KIK, Skype, WhatsApp. Facebook, Tinder, etc). Snapchat isn’t just good for photos; it’s good for security because it deletes photos. The Burn Note app also destroys messages after a set period of time .
You might use a third-party texting app that has a private folder or mode to ensure that no one else sees your flirting over text.
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I’m not good at texting in general. It doesn’t help if the guy I’ve been talking/seeing for a month is barely flirting with me (sometimes I feel like I’m in the friend-w-benefits zone). I know I’m fine with initiating but I guess I’m fearing rejection from any flirty attempts.
I can’t do cheesy flirty texts – I know I gotta have fun at this stage but that style is not me. I want to see /talk to him more but I don’t want to come off as needy. I’ve been playin it cool so far and it seems he plays off my coolness by texting me after I don’t for 2 days. But I don’t want to play it too cool where he thinks I am not interested.
I hate playing games too. help!
Sean Jameson says
Honestly, it just sounds like you should talk to him so that you know where you stand.
No thank you says
But how do you flirt with someone long distance? I mean it can’t always involve meeting up.
Sean Jameson says
Try these long distance relationship tips.
What are nice flirty mind blowing things to text my man? Lol.
Sean Jameson says
If you want more examples that the above ones, then you should check out these ones.
How can i sext my ex to make him miss me
Sean Jameson says
Try these sexy text messages.
I met this man and wr get along great. I aslo have to say that my son also likes him alot . we spent two days together and he also took my son to the bus stop with me and for my son to like a man tjat says alot but I really don’t know if he likes me loke that. What do i do
Sean Jameson says
Talk to him!
So there’s this guy, I’ve known him since elementary school. However, all of a sudden I’ve been drawn I him and I’ve been wanting to be his girlfriend. Before I told him how I felt and he felt the same but he said he doesn’t want to waste my time. That happened last year, now yesterday we hanged out and while we were hanging out he kept starring and looking at me every time I talked or looked at him. And before I left to go home, we hugged and was wishing we could hang more but we were at his friends place. So after we hugged I told him “I wanted you know” and he said “a goodbye kiss, right?” And I nodded and we kissed and not quick but a long kiss. Now I’m nervous to text him and I don’t know how to text him and ask if he wants to be more.
Could u help me with messages to text my boyfriend when he is at work coz he works all weekdays and we only get to see on weekend
I want to build up the anticipation and drive him crazy
Sean Jameson says
You’ll find some above, but also make sure to check out the Sexting Guide.