Tantric Masturbation – Complete Guide

This guide to tantric meditation will teach you how to practice incredible solo tantric sex. I’m talking about tantric yoni massage for women and lingam masturbation meditation for men. The start of this guide covers some background information (please read first), but you can skip straight to the how to tantrically masturbate section, or the 5 tantric masturbation tips for men, or the 3 tips for women to tantrically masturbate.

A Note About Tantra

Tantra is an Eastern philosophy, the focus of which is expanding your consciousness. In the West, we’re most familiar with tantric sex, but sexuality is such a small part of tantra that some people say the two things have nothing to do with one another.

It’s important not to ignore the broader significance of tantra by reducing it solely to sex. But because so many people are interested in how certain aspects of tantra can expand their bedroom experiences, tantric sex will remain a popular topic.

What Is Tantric Masturbation?

Tantric masturbation is a practice based on the belief that you can manipulate and promote energy (Shakti) by adapting how you breathe and touch yourself and implementing mindfulness or meditative techniques.

See demonstrations: 14 pleasurable masturbation techniques for women.

The goal isn’t to orgasm but to experience pleasure and potentially transcendence, which can make it helpful if you currently struggle to orgasm (29 reasons why you can’t orgasm and 29 solutions).

There’s no single way to trantrically masturbate. You’ll often move more slowly and conscientiously, pairing your thoughts and perceptions to that rhythm. In this way, tantric masturbation is a much more spiritual masturbation technique.

Instead of needing a partner, like with tantric sex, tantric masturbation is a solo tantra activity. Some people even consider sacred masturbation as a requirement for later having tantric sex.

Read next: Guided masturbation for women.

How to Tantrically Masturbate for Both Men & Women

For men, the focus of tantric masturbation is often on experiencing pleasure without ejaculation. Some people believe that semen retention prevents energy from leaving the body. Preventing ejaculation can also help some men have multiple orgasms.

Related: How To Have Multiple Orgasms: Mind Melting Pleasure Guide

It’s not a way to preserve the semen itself, as frequent ejaculation helps the body expel older, less healthy sperm that is replaced with new, hardy sperm.

Much less information is available about tantric masturbation for women. But tantric self pleasure similarly offers a way to feel good without being goal-oriented.

Prep Your Surroundings

Preparing your environment can be part of the ritual of tantric masturbation. Choose preparation that helps you feel relaxed and calm, not stressed from obligation. Lighting a candle or incense, turning on soft music or white noise, and turning down the lights can all get you in the mood.

Prep Yourself

Tantric masturbation doesn’t require you to be clean-shaven or freshly moisturized. But if you’re distracted by needing a shower or snack, that won’t help you masturbate mindfully. So…

Do whatever preparation is personally necessary to avoid being distracted, whether that’s taking a shower, moisturizing, or even shaving beforehand.

Get Comfortable and Avoid Stressing for An Outcome

Getting comfortable is all about what you need.

Privacy – Closing or locking the door can also help you to relax because you won’t have to worry about anyone barging in. It may also be helpful to schedule your tantric masturbation session for a time when you’ll have the house for yourself or even check into a hotel if you can.

Get undressed, or not – Remove as much clothing as you feel is comfortable. Some people prefer to masturbate through their underwear, wear clothing to keep warm, or put on lingerie to feel sexy.

Related: 10 Vital Tips For Choosing The Perfect Lingerie

Cozy nest? – You might create a “nest” for yourself by arranging pillows and blankets on your bed. Then, you can crawl in and get settled. Before you start touching yourself, really pay attention to how your body feels against the bed. Actively relax your muscles to let go of tension.

Exploring Mindfulness

The whole idea behind mindfulness is to stay in the moment. Calmly bring your focus to the current sensation in your body as you experiment with different techniques or stimulate different body parts.

It’s okay if your mind drifts, but gently direct your focus back to what you’re feeling.

Try listening to a guided tantric masturbation audio if you’re struggling to stay in the moment. Not everyone enjoys guided tantric masturbation, however. Finding the right voice and style is crucial to enjoying audio like that.

Check out our podcast episode on how mindfulness can lead to better sex, featuring a university professor who studies the connection between how staying in the moment and better sex.

Using Breathwork

Many mindfulness exercises tell you to pay attention to your breath.

Slow & deep – The breathwork in tantric masturbation (and sex!) takes it further than that. You’ll want to breathe slowly and deeply.

Pattern breathing – You can even breathe in a “pattern.” That is, you’ll count your inhales, exhales, and holds. In Box breathing, for example, breathe in for 4 seconds, hold for four seconds, and breathe out slowly for four seconds. The longer you exhale, the more you’ll calm your nervous system, too!

But if just breathing slowly without counting works for you, have at it!

Start with Your Full Body

The goal of tantric masturbation is not to orgasm. So, it makes sense you won’t immediately zone in on your genitals.

You’ll focus on your genitals later, giving yourself a lingam massage if you have a penis or yoni massage if you have a vulva.

Instead, you should start by touching and caressing your body. This can include your:

• Face
• Neck
• Collar bone
• Chest/breasts (nipple play and nipple orgasm techniques)
• Stomach and sides
• Shoulders
• Back
• Arms and elbows
• Hands and fingers
• Hips
• Thighs
• Knees
• Calves
• Ankles and feet (techniques for satisfying a foot fetish)

It might feel weird to sensually touch parts of your body that don’t normally experience that sort of touch. But you might also find that those body parts are capable of experiencing pleasure that you never imagined.

You can start with the less sensual or erotic body parts and move toward those more sensual or erogenous zones (just don’t head for your genitals yet!).

Check out this guide to 29 erogenous zones to learn more.

Experiment with stroking, circling, rubbing, cupping, squeezing, tapping, and pulling. The rhythm is as important as the type of touch. You can experiment with slow or fast touch or a combination of the two. Using both hands, you might even be able to create a more “stereo” effect.

You can also lightly tug on any body part, too.

We’ve also got tips for sensual massage that you can use on yourself. You can even pool massage oil on your body and slowly spread it over other parts of your body.

Then Focus More on Your Yoni/Lingam

Once you’re fully relaxed and aroused and have explored the rest of your body, you can finally move to your vagina (yoni) or penis (lingam). But…

It’s not the time for hard and fast stimulation that’s just designed to get you off. You still want to explore slowly and with intention, paying attention to how things feel during tantric fingering or stroking.

Using Lube

Whenever your intent is to take your time and lengthen your masturbation sessions, lube becomes your best friend! Lube keeps things slick and slippery for longer, reducing discomfort and potential injuries from stimulating dry genitals.

Some lubes can also double as massage oil.

Discover: How to use lube for masturbation and sex.

Using Visual Stimulation

Try adding visual stimulation to your tantric masturbation sessions. But only do it if…

You can stay mindful and…

It doesn’t encourage you to orgasm and end the session.

Visual stimulation you should consider includes:

• Mirrors (mirror sex also works great with a partner)
• Photos
• Porn or videos
• Visualizing audio or written erotica in your head

But if you find it too distracting or arousing, it’s fine to skip visual stimulation.

5 Tantric Masturbation Tips for Men

While the advice above applies to everyone, we’ve got a few specific tips for mindful and tantric male masturbation. These tips can especially help combat the iron-fisted grip and fast movements men often use during masturbation.

1. Feather-light touch – Start with a super light touch, perhaps using just your fingertips along the length of your shaft.

2. Frenulum – The frenulum is the area where the shaft meets the head on the underside of the penis. Some people enjoy having this area rubbed specifically, and a drop of lube goes a long way. Keep your movements small and delicate, like tracing small circles.

3. Focus on your balls – You can cup your balls while playing with your shaft, or focus your attention solely on your balls with these testicle massage techniques.

4. Prostate massage – Check out our guide to prostate massage to find tips for using fingers or toys to stimulate your prostate. This can produce a different type of orgasm quite quickly, so you may want to experiment with prostate play before tantric masturbation if you’re trying to avoid ejaculation.

5. Using both hands – Stroke from the base of your shaft to the head with one hand, quickly followed by your other hand.

More: Learn 23 more techniques in my guide on giving a great hand job.

Karmamudrā

Karmamudrā is a Buddhist technique, which is usually practiced by men, that can play a role in tantric sex and masturbation. Specifically, karmamudrā involves exploring passion and the path to spiritual liberation with the Buddhist practice known as inner heat. While some believe a partner, aka consort, is necessary, others think it’s possible to visualize the consort (a jñanamudra), which can be incorporated into tantric masturbation.

3 Tips to Tantrically Masturbate for Women

There’s a lot less information out there about tantric masturbation for women, so you may have to get creative with your tantric masturbation practice.

1. Self-acceptance – Tantric masturbation is a great time to practice self-love and acceptance. Tantric self-love can look like mental mantras about your worth, your body’s beauty and ability, and your right to pleasure.

2. Mirror gazing – You can use a mirror to get curious about the parts of your body you don’t normally see, like your vulva and vagina. Hold it between your legs, facing toward you, or set it on the floor and squat over it while looking down.

3. Using tools – Using dildos, vibrators, vaginal balls, or even jade eggs can help with tantric masturbation. But…

Don’t just focus your vibrator on your genitals. Instead, experiment with it on other erogenous zones.

Differences Between Edging and Tantric Masturbation

Edging is all about

1. Bringing yourself close to orgasm, then
2. Backing off so you don’t orgasm, then
3. Repeating step 1 & step 2 multiple times, before you finally allow yourself to orgasm

Edging yourself like this usually results in a much more powerful orgasm.

Tantric masturbation is about steps 1 & 2. There is no step 3 when tantrically masturbating. You never get to orgasm.

Is This Similar to Orgasmic Meditation?

Tantric masturbation and orgasmic meditation do share Eastern influences and a focus on mindfulness. But as the name suggests, orgasmic meditation is ultimately about having an orgasm.

Now you know all about how to tantrically pleasure yourself. Hopefully, this guide includes at least one way to tantrically masturbate that appeals to you.

Lastly, practice is key to tantric masturbation, especially if you really want to expand your consciousness, so consider making it a weekly or even daily thing.