13 Positions For Holding Hands During Sex & What It Means

Below you will learn 13 positions for holding hands during sex (& oral sex!), along with 4 intimate ways to hold hands while kissing your partner, and what it means if your partner holds your hands during sex.

First, a few general handholding tips. You can hold hands in multiple ways:

1. With your hands mirroring each other so that your palms touch
2. With your hands facing the same way
3. With your fingers entwined
4. With your fingers interlaced but without your palms touching
5. With your fingers wrapped around your partner’s hand
6. There are even more ways!

Ultimately, you need to experiment with different types of hand holding during sex, and…

Figure out what feels best and most intimate for both of you.

13 Positions for Holding Hands During Sex & Oral Sex

Experimenting with different ways to hold hands during sex lets you try more sex positions, even if it’s not a traditional hand holding position or you’re not gripping each other closely. You could even hold one of your partner’s hands in both of yours!

Sometimes it’s just not possible for your partner to fully hold your hands during sex, but don’t worry!

One of you can still place your hand over the other’s for similar intimacy during sex. You can even use this for guiding your hands to get the touch they need.

With that said, here are some tips for holding hands in specific sex positions.

1. Tug of Love

The Tug of Love position requires hand holding during sex. With you and your partner both on your backs with only your genitals touching, holding hands keeps you connected.

2. Missionary

There are a few options for holding hands in the Missionary position, including with your arms pulled over your head and your hands and fingers entwined with your partner’s. Or they can hold your wrists down toward the bed for a more dominant move.

From there, you could transition to a pose like Cowboy, where holding hands is still possible.

3. Doggy Style

There are several options for holding hands during Doggy Style sex.

Penetrating partner leans forward – The first method works best if your partner is tall enough to lean forward to place a hand over yours during Doggy. This will mean they’re leaning more on you rather than straight up, offering more body contact. It can also change the angle and depth of penetration (deep penetration tips).

Penetrating partner pulls you backward – The second method for holding hands during Doggy Style is to have your partner grab both of your hands and pull your arms backward to keep your upper body above the bed.

Your partner may even be able to pull you back toward them. This may not be comfortable or possible for all bodies, but you can modify it by resting your chest directly on the bed and having your partner lean down further to reduce strain on your hands, arms, and shoulders.

Being pulled back into your partner with every stroke works great if you enjoy intense, hard sex.

Bondage – Finally, you can try having your partner bend and twist one or both arms behind your back and hold them there. This feels more like bondage. Typically, this involves holding the arm more than the hands, so you may need to experiment with positions if your goal is hand-to-hand contact.

Read next: 17 BDSM positions.

4. Lotus position

When talking about holding hands during sex, many positions where you’re facing your partner work well.

Take Lotus, a sex position that requires a little flexibility for you to be in your partner’s lap while their legs are crossed and yours wrap around their waist. Instead of holding each other by the neck and waist, respectively, you can hold each other’s hands during sex.

Or you could simply press your palms together. This might be a good way to feel the energy exchange between you during tantric sex practices.

5. Spooning

It’s pretty easy to hold hands when Spooning, whether during sex or cuddling. All that’s needed is for the person in back, the big spoon, to wrap their arms around the little spoon so they can hold hands in front of their partner’s body.

If it’s uncomfortable to place an arm under your partner’s body to hold hands while cuddling, you can simply use the top arm.

This same basic method also works for other positions where the receiving partner is in front, including standing (Bodyguard position) or lying face-up on your partner, like in Pearly Gates and Bent Spoon position, or on your side during Sideways sex.

6. Triceratops

You can hold hands in sex positions where you’re both standing, but you bend over while your partner is behind you. This can include Triceratops, where your partner supports your upper body by grabbing your hands or wrists.

Washing Machine sex position is very similar, but you’ll be leaning over a washing machine or similar appliance or piece of furniture.

7. Sitting

Many sitting sex positions let you hold your partner’s hand(s)! For example, you can hold your partner’s hands when on their lap in the Back Seat Driver position.

8. Cowgirl

Cowgirl is the ideal position for holding hands during sex. You’re face-to-face, so you can easily reach out and grasp your partner’s hands. You could even push their hands back toward the pillow as you lean over their body if you want to be physically closer or be more dominant.

9. Reverse Cowgirl

Reverse Cowgirl position also lets your partner hold your hands during sex, but it’ll look a little different because you’re turned around. When your partner places their hands on your waist or thighs, you can place yours on top to interlock fingers during sex. Feel free to swap hand positions if it’s more comfortable.

10. Cross Cross

The Criss Cross sex position is probably closest to Missionary from this list. Because you’re on your back and your partner is kneeling, your hands are free for them to hold.

Of course, this position and the similar Right Angle sex or Legs on Shoulder poses are also good positions for breast and nipple play.

11. Praying Mantis

If having your legs extended that far isn’t comfortable, Praying Mantis is a little less taxing but still lets you hold your partner’s hand(s) as they rest on your knees.

You may even be able to move to the Launch Pad sex position and still hold hands.

12. Rear Entry

Many of the from-behind sex positions also work well for holding hands because your partner is leaning over or lying on you and can stretch their hands to reach yours. Give it a try in the Prone Bone position or Jockey.

13. Oral sex

You can hold hands during more than one type of sex! This includes when giving your man a blow job or eating pussy.

Keep in mind that this means one less hand for the giver to support themselves or stimulate their partner, but it’s definitely doable.

If you’re receiving and on your back, reach down with one hand to hold your partner’s hand as they reach up. As the giver, you can reach up to hold your partner’s hand. It works especially well if you’re on your knees and they’re standing. Making eye contact while performing oral sex makes it even more intimate.

4 Tips for Holding Hands While Kissing

Holding hands and interlocking fingers while kissing can be sweet, intimate, and often easier than holding hands while having sex. The easiest ways to hold hands while kissing are for you both to bend your arms and hold your hands up slightly to either side, or to hold hands while your arms hang down.

Both of these might be trickier if there’s a big height difference. Here are 4 other ways to hold hands while kissing:

1. Hands both together and in front of your chest – If your height allows, you can hold hands between your chests as you lean forward. Lying your hand against your partner’s so that they’re flatter, rather than balled up, might be easiest for some people.

2. Playfully holding both of your partner’s hands behind their back – This hand holding position works best for those who are taller with longer arms. You can wrap your arms around your partner while kissing to hold them steady. This is a bit similar to wearing handcuffs.

3. Placing your hand over theirs – If your partner likes to place their hand against your face/head while kissing passionately, you could place yours over theirs.

4. Holding one hand with both of yours while kissing them – Clasping one of your partner’s hands in both of yours is sweet, especially while kissing.

Remember that kissing isn’t always face-to-face or on the mouth. For example, if your partner kisses your head or the side of your face from behind, they could reach around you to hold your hand(s).

What Does It Mean if Your Partner Holds Your Hands During Sex

Some of you might be wondering, “Is holding hands intimate?” It certainly can be!

The meaning behind holding hands during sex varies depending on the people and the relationship involved.

Love – Holding hands during intimacy with your spouse or committed partner can be a sign of emotional closeness and love.

Intimacy – But some people like holding hands even in more casual relationships because it enhances the moment’s intimacy.

Restraint – Some people use handholding as a form of restraint during sex and kinky activities.

Related: How to do bondage – for beginners.

For feedback – You can even use holding hands to send messages with squeezes or taps (which can serve as a safe signal).

Related: 51 Effective Safe Words To Use During Your Next BDSM Scene

Problems can pop up if you’re not on the same page – If your sexual partner has feelings and wants more, they may read into hand holding, even if it’s only a spur-of-the-moment thing for you.

Now you’ve got great ideas for holding hands during sex, but…

There are lots of other great things you can do with your hands during sex…

Your hands are great for caressing, spanking, or hair pulling, too!