29 Reasons Why You Can’t Orgasm & 29 Solutions

Below are the 29 most common reasons (according to scientific research) why you can’t orgasm from sex and masturbation. This includes not using the correct sex/masturbation techniques, having a partner that comes too quickly, other issues with your partner, along with various health and psychological reasons.

I also explain the solution to each orgasm-blocking issue, so you can start enjoying intense orgasms, tonight. Let’s start with some of the most fixable orgasm blockers…

1. You Don’t Know Your Own Body (Pleasure Zones)

Not knowing the pleasure zones on your own body is an obvious reason why you can’t finish, but…

Many women overlook it.

Here’s why:

If you don’t know the pleasure zones on your body, how could you possibly know how to stimulate them and orgasm? And how could your partner know this either? Instead of wondering why your boyfriend can’t make you come, it might be time to take things into your own hands.

Solution: Learn about your vulva/vagina, U Spot, G Spot and other erogenous zones.

This isn’t just my opinion either!

The nerds-in-white-coats who study why women can’t orgasm confirmed that a “[l]ack of knowledge and embarrassment were the orgasmic obstacles” [1] and that “clitoral knowledge predicted sexual pleasure and orgasm in women” [2].

So your difficulty having an orgasm might just be because you don’t yet know your body as well as you could.

2. You Don’t Know The Easiest Techniques To Orgasm

There is a hierarchy of the easiest ways to orgasm during sexual activities. This was discovered during a study of 71 heterosexual women [3]. I’ve ranked them below in order of easiest way to orgasm to hardest:

• Masturbation focused on your clitoris [3]
• Having your clitoris stimulated by your partner [3]
• Receiving cunnilingus from your partner [3]
• During vaginal penetration [3]

While you might find that you can’t orgasm during intercourse, you may be able to orgasm during during other sexual activities.

And this makes sense because some clitorises are closer to the vaginal opening, and this can be one of the factors that make orgasm during vaginal penetration much easier for some people than others!

Solution: If you are currently struggling to orgasm, you should start with the easiest way to orgasm: pleasuring yourself.

Speaking of pleasuring yourself…

3. You Don’t Masturbate

“Difficultly orgasming is most often experienced in partnered sexual activity, rather than masturbation. ” [4]

If you masturbate, you will quickly learn what helps you to orgasm and what doesn’t. You’ll discover what types of stimulation, pressure, angles and what areas of your vulva/vagina are most sensitive.

Sex researchers double-checked this and found that women who masturbate “are considerably more likely to reach orgasm during sexual activity” [5].

Another research article, cited over 200 times, suggests that women who have never orgasmed may be “unfamiliar or uncomfortable with self-stimulation” [6].

Solution: Learn how to masturbate and try out some of these masturbation techniques to discover what feels pleasurable and likely to make you orgasm. You can even try using a dildo or sex toy while your masturbate.

Then…

Once you know how to orgasm by yourself, you can then share this knowledge with your partner and use it to help you orgasm during sex.

4. You Don’t Get Enough Clitoral Stimulation

You may struggle to orgasm if you don’t stimulate your clitoris during masturbation and sex.

Important: How to find your clitoris.

Again, researchers have confirmed this: “A study showed that women reported frequency of orgasm with intercourse that included assisted clitoral stimulation 51–60% of the time compared to orgasm 21–30% of the time without concurrent clitoral stimulation” [7].

In plain English, this means that:

• Women who have penetrative sex with a man orgasm between 21-30% of the time.
• Women who have penetrative sex with a man while they (or their man) rub their clit with their fingers or use a vibrator on their clit, orgasm 51-60% of the time.

In other words, you are up to three times more likely to orgasm during sex when you add in some extra clitoral stimulation.

Solution: More clitoral stimulation, duh!

Another study further confirmed this: “69.7% of women orgasm more often or make vaginal penetration more pleasurable using ‘Pairing’: when a woman herself (Solo Pairing) or her partner (Partner Pairing) reaches down to stimulate her clitoris with a finger or sex toy at the same time as her vagina is being penetrated” [8].

Don’t be afraid to reach for an assistant from your nightstand if it’s hard for you to finish.

5. You Are Not Fully Aroused

Let me give you two scenarios:

1. You go on a date and experience insane levels of sexual tension with your partner. They flirt, tease you, and know how to push your buttons. Instead of rushing you home, they take things slow…and it drives you crazy. Finally, you do get them home and into bed.
2. After a long day at work, you feel exhausted, and not sexy, and just want to collapse into bed. As you finally fall asleep, your partner asks you for sex.

In which scenario are you more likely to orgasm?

It’s super-duper obvious!

The scenario where you experience intense levels of arousal beforehand.

When I spell it out with these two scenarios, it is clear-cut. Being aroused before sex (or masturbation) makes it way easier to orgasm. The research even backs this up: “Women with arousal problems reported greater difficulty reaching orgasm” [9].

And… “The most frequently endorsed reasons for orgasmic difficulty were, in descending order, general stress/anxiety, arousal difficulty, sex-specific anxiety and issues with the partner” [10].

Solution: I’ve put together a guide on how to get in the mood for sex and tips on how to get horny that will help you figure this out, so you’ll want sex more and it’ll be easier for you to orgasm.

Speaking of getting in the mood…

6. You Don’t Get Enough Foreplay

In a paper that has been cited over 90 times, sex researchers found that “female orgasms were most commonly experienced during foreplay” [3].

It’s crystal clear…

You are more likely to orgasm during foreplay, not penetrative sex. The main factors for this are that foreplay often involves the clitoris and gives your body time to become aroused as sexual tension builds, making it not so hard to orgasm.

With this in mind, you may want to try some of the following foreplay ideas with your partner to climax more easily:

• 15 fingering techniques
• How to give a girl head – 85 techniques
• How to make a girl squirt

Another important discovery about foreplay…

In a paper cited over 310 times, sex researchers also found that “too little foreplay was also more strongly associated with orgasm and arousal dysfunction than with sexual satisfaction, which indicates that some women would want more foreplay in order to get aroused or to reach orgasm [11].

Solution: Longer foreplay will very likely help you to orgasm.

7. You Think There Is Only One Way To Orgasm

I’ve already talked about the importance of masturbation, clitoral stimulation, and foreplay if you are struggling to orgasm. In other words…

There are a lot of different techniques to help you orgasm.

The sex research even backs this up, with one paper noting “the enormous potential women have to experience orgasms from one or more sources of sensory input, including the external clitoral glans, internal region around the “G-spot” that corresponds to the internal clitoral bulbs, the cervix, as well as sensory stimulation of non-genital areas such as the nipples” [12].

That’s right…

You can also have nipple orgasms and cervical orgasms. There’s also vibrators, temperature, and pressure to experiment with, while some women can even “think” themselves off without any stimulation at all!

Solution: To discover what helps you to orgasm, experiment with many different techniques and body parts to figure out what works and what doesn’t for you.

8. You Aren’t Engaged During Sex

When you lie down in bed during sex, hardly moving, immobilized, like a starfish, it’s not particularly sexy for your partner, and…

It doesn’t look good for your orgasms either…

Sex researchers have actually investigated this, and they found that “Body movement, as opposed to body immobilization, was also associated with a higher frequency of orgasm during vaginal intercourse” [13].

So body movement can help you to orgasm during sex, and not doing so might explain why you have trouble coming.

But what kind of body movement?

Solution: The study I just mentioned found that “teaching women to move their pelvis and trunk in a swinging back-and-forth movement during vaginal intercourse might therefore facilitate reaching an orgasm” [13].

Another study discovered more body movements that help you orgasm:

• You can “make vaginal penetration more pleasurable using ‘Angling’: rotating, raising, or lowering the pelvis/hips during penetration to adjust where inside the vagina the toy or penis rubs and what it feels like” [8]
• “Approximately 76% of women make vaginal penetration more pleasurable using ‘Rocking’: the base of a penis or sex toy rubbing against the clitoris constantly during penetration, by staying all the way inside the vagina rather than thrusting in and out”[8]

Moral of the story? Don’t just ask why you can’t come during sex without doing something about it!

Also, many guys are guilty of this too. If your man just lies there during sex, it can seriously hamper your enjoyment of sex and prevent you from orgasming.

9. You Have Pelvic Floor Issues

The research is very clear on this. One study, with over 320 citations, found that “Pelvic floor symptoms are significantly associated with reduced sexual arousal, infrequent orgasm, and dyspareunia” [14].

So…

If you are suffering from a pelvic floor disorder like symptomatic pelvic floor prolapse, urinary incontinence, chronic pelvic pain, or vaginismus, you are likely to find it harder to orgasm and this might explain why you don’t come at all.

Solution: Consult a qualified healthcare professional. Depending on your exact issue, this could be an OBGYN, urogynecologist, physical therapist or even a neurologist.

Thankfully, most of these issues are completely treatable with the right therapy. Just look at the results from this study of women suffering from vaginismus: “After therapy, 93.3% of vaginismic women were successfully penetrated, and 83.3% had regular intercourse with orgasm” [15].

10. Your Partner Comes Too Quickly (Premature Ejaculation)

Premature ejaculation is when “ejaculation occurs during partnered sexual activity within approximately 1 minute following vaginal penetration and before the individual wishes it, during all or almost all sexual activity” [16].

However….

During sex, “the average time to climax in females varies between 12 to 25 minutes” [16].

So…

If your partner only lasts for a minute, but you need 10 or 20 minutes to orgasm, you are going to struggle to get there from penetration alone.

Solution: There are 2:

1. Your partner can use specific techniques to last longer in bed, so you can orgasm more easily during penetrative sex.
2. Your partner can learn other techniques to help you orgasm when not having penetrative sex, specifically before penetration begins.

#2 requires a partner who cares about your pleasure, however.

It’s disappointing and distressing if you know how to finish during sex or foreplay, but your partner doesn’t care or, even worse, doesn’t let you do what you need to orgasm.

11. Penis Size May Be An Issue

We did a lot of searching and could not find any clear-cut studies that explained how penis size affects female orgasm.

We did find one study that concluded “a little less than half of the women reported that penis size is important for sexual satisfaction, whereas more than a third reported that it is not” [17].

This means that…

The size of your partner’s penis can play a role in how easy you find it to orgasm. If it’s too small, it may not provide enough stimulation internally or externally, and you may find you can’t have a vaginal orgasm. If it’s too big, it may cause pain during penetration.

It’s a personal preference, you want something that feels just right for you.

We did our own research on whether penis size matters and came to a similar conclusion. Many women prefer a penis that is in the “Goldilocks” size range…

Not too big, not too small.

So what should you do if your partner’s penis size is impacting your ability to orgasm?

Solution: Experiment with positions such as Spooning, Coital Alignment Technique, or Doggy, which can make your partner feel larger or help them to more easily hit the spot. A cock sleeve or extender can make a penis feel longer or thicker, too. Your partner can try using a strap on, dildo or other sex toy to give you the size and stimulation you need. Don’t forget about the power of tongues and fingers too!

Related: How to finger yourself orgasm – 8 techniques.

12. Bad Communication With Your Partner

A research study, cited over 300 times, found that “poor communication regarding sexual matters has also been found among couples where the female partner has orgasmic problems” [11].

Another study, cited over 120 times, found that “couples with an anorgasmic female partner reported more problematic communication regarding issues of sexuality than did control couples” [18].

This means that if you don’t talk to your partner about sex, about what you like and dislike, then it’s more likely that you can’t orgasm during sex… even if you’re well acquainted with your body.

Solution: Get comfortable talking about sex, so that you can let your partner know what you like and what brings you closer to orgasm, along with…

Those things that turn you off.

And…

Your partner can do the same.

13. You’re Annoyed With Your Partner

A study from researchers in Iran discovered that, “it seems that psychological and relational (dispute and annoyance with husband) factors had a more significant effect on orgasm than physical, physiological and reflexive factors and despite the performance of appropriate stimulation they have made reaching an orgasm difficult or sometimes even impossible” [1].

Translation…

Being annoyed with your husband can make reaching orgasm difficult or even impossible, despite using the right sex techniques!

It’s super-duper obvious, we all know it, but it’s good to see it being researched…

A lot of sexual problems, including when you can’t orgasm with your partner, can have be caused by something that happens outside of the bedroom.

Solution: It’s hard to give a works-every-time answer as every relationship is different, and we all annoy each other from time to time.

Hopefully, you can sit down, have a frank conversation to get to the root of your issues, whether that’s getting your man to stop annoying you so much or something else.

But it’s often not that easy. In cases like this, you may need to seek outside help, such as a licensed therapist or counselor, where you can ask things like “Why can’t I orgasm?” without having to worry as much about how that offending your partner.

14. It’s A New Relationship

A study on female sexual dysfunction, cited over 310 times, discovered something very interesting…

“A longer relationship was associated with more sexual distress, desire, arousal, lubrication, and satisfaction dysfunction but less orgasm dysfunction” [11].

So…

Women in longer relationships have fewer problems reaching orgasm, despite experiencing more sexual problems like getting aroused and getting wet.

Why?

The researchers discovered that the reason your orgasm problems get less likely “might be due to the woman learning more about her sexual preferences both with age and relationship duration, as well as becoming more comfortable, accepting, and expressive of her own sexuality” [11].

Solution: Try not to focus so much on the length of your relationship and focus more on learning about your sexual preferences, finding partners who make you comfortable and care about your pleasure, and…

Try to become more comfortable, accepting, and expressive of your own sexuality, and you may find that your inability to climax during sex goes away.

15. You Suffer From Fatigue

Fatigue is the more serious version of being tired. It’s the constant lack of energy that doesn’t fix itself with a night or two of good sleep.

Researchers have examined the effects of it and have found that “fatigue, whether as a result of chronic diseases or daily activities, has an obstructive effect on sexual performance and consequently orgasm” [1].

This makes sense. It’s always going to be harder to feel sexy and orgasm when you are constantly exhausted.

Solution: According to the research, fatigue “has both physical and mental aspects” [19]. It’s linked to a huge number of different factors, from physical illnesses to psychological reasons to social stresses.

Talk to a qualified healthcare professional and ask them, “Why can’t I come?” to figure out what is causing your fatigue and learn strategies to effectively combat it that go beyond a good night’s sleep.

16. You Are Sexually Inhibited

This one is obvious, and sexuality researchers have confirmed it. They found that “women with orgasm difficulties scored higher on sexual inhibition than controls” [20]. In other words, women struggling to orgasm have stronger sexual inhibitions.

Sexual inhibitions are the mental barriers people create in their own minds that prevent them from enjoying sex and trying certain sex acts. They might think that sex is bad and something you shouldn’t enjoy.

The funny thing is…

Having no sexual inhibitions at all can be a bad thing. Having no sexual inhibitions means you’ll engage in risky sex, exposing yourself to STIs, physical danger, and even non-consensual sexual situations (check out consensual non-consent).

On the other hand:

Being completely sexually inhibited means that you’ll never enjoy sex, find it difficult to orgasm, and never try some pretty fun and safe sex acts.

Not being able to let go may mean you find yourself saying, “I can’t come.”

So…

Ideally, you will have some healthy sexual inhibitions that stop you from doing risky sexual things, while these same sexual inhibitions don’t prevent you from enjoying sex and having multiple orgasms.

Solution: If you can figure out on your own how to have healthy sexual inhibitions that don’t interfere with your sexual pleasure or ability to orgasm, but prevent you from engaging in risky sex, then lucky you! If not, it may be best to talk to a qualified healthcare professional to help figure this out.

17. You Lack Sexual Self-Acceptance

Sexual self-acceptance is accepting your sexual identity, having a positive body image, positive feelings about your sexual desires, and healthy boundaries.

Lacking self-acceptance can be one of the reasons why you can’t orgasm with your partner, and the research backs this up: “anorgasmic women were less sexually self-accepting compared with other women” [11].

Solution: Become more sexually self-accepting.

Wow!

It’s that easy, huh?

Truthfully, it’s an incredibly hard thing to do in practice. It’s something that may require the help of a qualified healthcare professional.

18. Shame

Shame. It’s that feeling of distress, regret, and even disgust with something you’ve done, something you want to do, or something that you are.

Researchers studying women’s orgasm obstacles found that “shame and failure to express her sexual demands have been an obstacle to orgasm” for one participant [1].

It’s obvious when you read it: If you feel shame about your body or experiencing sexual pleasure, then it’s going to act like a roadblock to experiencing sexual pleasure and orgasming.

Unfortunately, many of us, especially women, have learned shame around sex. This might be why you can’t come as a girl.

Solution: If shame is blocking your orgasms in a minor way, then you may be able to overcome it by yourself or with a supportive partner. If shame is hanging over you in a major way then you may want to talk to a qualified healthcare professional, such as a psychologist or a certified sex therapist, particularly if the shame is specifically about sex.

19. Past Abuse

“Some epidemiological studies have shown that women who have been abused in the past are at increased risk of sexual arousal difficulties or other sexual problems” [21]. If you have experienced abuse in the past, then it may affect your ability to get aroused and experience orgasm.

Solution: This goes beyond any advice we can give on the Bad Girls Bible. Talk to a qualified healthcare professional or therapist who has experience in this area, especially one with a sex-positive and trauma-informed approach.

20. Age – Older is Better!

A study, cited over 315 times, found that “orgasm dysfunction decreased with age” [11]. The researchers proposed this “might be due to the woman learning more about her sexual preferences both with age and relationship duration, as well as becoming more comfortable, accepting, and expressive of her own sexuality” [11].

There’s a wrinkle…

“The effect of age was negative for desire, arousal, lubrication, and satisfaction, and positive for orgasm and pain” [11].

Translation…

As you get older, you will likely find it easier to orgasm, but you will also likely experience:

• Less sexual desire
• Trouble getting aroused
• Trouble getting wet
• Less sexual satisfaction (7 best sex positions for female orgasm)
• More pain during sex (how to prevent painful sex)

Less intense orgasms? – Another study, cited over 200 times, found that “delayed or less intense orgasms may be a natural process of aging due to decreased genital blood flow and dulled genital sensations” [6].

So you may find it easier to orgasm as you get older, but your orgasms may be less intense.

But this really depends on what we mean by “older.”

Solution: If you are younger and having orgasm troubles, know that it’s likely to get easier to climax as you age and get to know your body better. If you are older and still having trouble orgasming, then there may be further issues that you need to address. Hopefully, some of the solutions on this page help with that. If not…talk to a qualified healthcare professional.

21. Diabetes

Diabetes messes with your ability to orgasm:

“Female sexual dysfunction (FSD) is a significant complication of diabetes mellitus, affecting 20-80% of women with type 2 diabetes” [22].

Why?

“Because peripheral neuropathy is so common in patients with diabetes” [23].

“Peripheral neuropathy reduces genital sensation, affecting arousal and orgasmic capacity” [22].

Additionally…

“Sustained hyperglycemia leads to blood vessel damage and reduces nitric oxide bioavailability, affecting vaginal blood flow and lubrication” [22].

So, diabetes may be why you don’t finish during sex.

Solution: You need to talk to your doctor to manage your diabetes.

22. Endometriosis

This often painful condition happens when your endometrial tissue grows where it shouldn’t, which can lead to long periods of bleeding.

A study on endometriosis also found that the condition affects your “ability to have an orgasm during sexual intercourse” [24].

Another found that “non-treated women with endometriosis presented a higher risk of female sexual dysfunction” [25]. Endometriosis can affect your ability to orgasm along with:

• Sexual desire [25]
• Arousal [25]
• Lubrication [25]
• Sexual satisfaction [25]
• Pain during sex [25]

Solution: If you are suffering from endometriosis and sexual dysfunction (i.e. you can’t orgasm), the two may be related. Talk to a qualified healthcare professional.

23. Stress

“Women cite various reasons for orgasmic difficulty, most commonly general anxiety/stress” [10].

Most of us know this intuitively. Stress is a mood killer. It’s not sexy.

However…

There’s not a lot of conclusive scientific evidence on this.

After a lot of searching, the closest evidence we could find was one study, cited over 250 times, which found that “chronic daily stressors are correlated with impairment of women’s genital but not subjective sexual arousal responses both in the laboratory” [26].

This means that stress can affect your ability to get physically aroused, while it’s unlikely to affect your ability to mentally feel aroused. But…

There’s a problem with this study.

It’s the last three words, “in the laboratory.” The results come from studying women in a sterile lab. Not in the real world. Not in your bedroom. Additionally, it’s about arousal, not orgasm. But it’s reasonable that not being aroused means you can’t come when you have sex.

Solution: If stress is affecting your ability to get aroused and orgasm, the obvious answer is to reduce the stress in your life. However, sometimes that’s not possible and the best option is to find coping mechanisms. Common ways to cope with stress include:

• Mindfulness [27]
• Art/music therapies [28]
• Yoga [28]
• Engaging with nature [28]
• Physical activity [28]

Some folks suffer more intensely from stress. If you are in this category, talk to a qualified healthcare professional.

24. Anxiety

Anxiety can impact sex in multiple ways.

The finding of one research study of 96 women? “Increased levels of anxiety also increase orgasmic difficulties” [5].

It makes sense.

The more anxious you feel during sex, the harder you will find it to orgasm.

Solution: There are research-backed solutions that can help reduce the symptoms of your anxiety:

• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy [29]
• Exercise [30]
• Massage [29]
• Meditation [31]
• Music [29]
• Acupuncture [29]
• Hypnosis [29]

If your anxiety is worse and affecting your life in a major way, talk to a qualified healthcare professional.

However, your anxiety could also be about sex. You might be self-conscious about your body or how you sound, so you spend more time monitoring your performance than enjoying the experience. If you think that’s why it’s so hard for you to come, you might benefit from talking to a certified sex therapist, not to mention your partner.

25. Mood Disorder

Mood disorders can wreak havoc on your sex life, including making it so that you can’t orgasm when having sex.

“Lifetime impairment in the sexual response cycle, including desire, excitement, and ability to achieve orgasm, was significantly more common in patients with mood disorders compared with control subjects” [32].

This study is clear-cut.

If you suffer from a mood disorder, it can negatively affect your orgasmic ability for your entire life, along with sexual function in general.

Solution: Mood disorders are a serious condition. Talk to a qualified healthcare professional.

26. Depression

It’s well known that depression is a major reason why we can’t come when having sex. After all, it makes most things less enjoyable, and sex is no exception.

“Epidemiological studies confirm depression’s negative effects upon orgasmic experience” [33].

Solution: If you are suffering from depression or the symptoms of depression and it’s affecting your ability to enjoy sex and orgasm, get in contact with a qualified healthcare professional.

27. Your Medications Can Block Your Orgasms

Do not stop taking a medication unless advised by your doctor.

If orgasms were easier to have in the past, consider whether your medication is why you can’t come anymore or have a harder time doing so.

Some of the following medications can interfere with your ability to orgasm or arousal, which we know can make it harder to come:

• Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) – SSRIs can cause sexual dysfunction and orgasm issues, “About 42% of women taking selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors report problems having an orgasm” [34].
• Hydrochlorothiazide – “Hydrochlorothiazide may be associated with anorgasmia” [35].
• Clomipramine – “clomipramine had an orgasm dysfunction rate up to 90 %” [36].
• Valproate – “Decreased sexual desire and anorgasmia have also been described in bipolar women receiving valproate” [37].
• Alprazolam – A paper of female sexual dysfunction found “the use of alprazolam as a treatment for patients with panic disorder resulted in significant rates of decreased libido and increased erectile and orgasmic dysfunction” [38].
• Some anti-diabetic drugs – “A correlation was found between anti-diabetic drugs and the domains of satisfaction and orgasm” [38].
• More drugs – “serotonergic antidepressants, prolactin-increasing antipsychotics, long-term opioid therapy, and enzyme-inducing antiepileptics are associated with decreased desire, arousal dysfunction, orgasmic dysfunction, and more” [38].

Solution: Do not stop taking a medication unless advised by your doctor. Doing so can have adverse side effects. But you may want to talk to your doctor if you think medication is why it’s so hard for you to orgasm.

28. Psychological Factors

Certain psychological factors are associated with not having orgasms.

“Some psychological factors, e.g., anxiety, fatigue, pain, feeling of guilt, anti-masculine feelings, and embarrassment in sexual relationships were higher in the anorgasmic group” [39].

This intuitively makes sense. If you have thoughts or feelings that occupy your mind and distract you from being in the moment and your body, it will naturally be harder to orgasm.

Solution: If the psychological factors are minor, you may be able to overcome them through health habits such as good sleep and a consistent exercise routine. You might also benefit from bringing mindfulness into the bedroom if you can’t get off during sex.

However, if these factors are weighing on you heavily, don’t respond to your efforts to fix them, or have plagued you for a long time, then talk to a qualified healthcare professional.

29. Physical fitness

If you’re not orgasming during sex, it might reflect an overall lack of physical fitness.

“High effort physical activity may be associated with improved orgasm, which may be explained by better clitoral circulation and better function of the pelvic floor muscles” [40].

Solution: Physical activity and exercise can help you orgasm more easily. And it has a lot of other benefits.

30. Injury

Various injuries can make it difficult or impossible to orgasm. While injuries to the pelvic floor and genitals come to mind, including those from childbirth, brain, nerve, and spinal injuries may also explain why you can’t come during sex, even if you once could.

Sometimes, you can learn to orgasm differently, to work around the issue. But lifelong injuries or paralysis may explain why you don’t come during sex.

The Final Word on Why You Can’t Orgasm

Now that you know the main reasons why you can’t finish during sex and the solutions to each reason, you should be able to come more easily and more often during sex. Keep in mind:

• There may be more than just one issue that causes you to struggle to climax.
• There may be other issues preventing you from reaching orgasm. Talk to a qualified healthcare professional if you suspect a different issue than what is on the list
• Some of the solutions on this list suggest talking to a qualified healthcare professional. This is because you often need a personalized plan from your doctor/OBGYN/psychiatrist/other qualified healthcare professional to solve these issues that might go beyond trouble reaching orgasm.

At the end of the day, sex is about the journey and not the destination. It’s possible to enjoy yourself even if you don’t orgasm. Not all women orgasm, either, so if they only define sexual pleasure or success by their O counts, they’re missing out on a lot of potential!

Similarly, if you’re reading this because you can’t make your girlfriend come, you might have good intentions but might be missing the bigger picture. Plus, pressure to orgasm might actually be why your wife can’t orgasm!

If all else fails, focus on connection and what feels good rather than spending all your time wondering why you don’t orgasm during sex.