Do you ever feel sexually or creatively blocked? Perhaps your emotions are out of balance, or you simply have no time to focus on yourself and your own needs. The ancient technique of yoni massage offers a potential solution to these problems. You can experience therapy through yoni massage by yourself, with a partner, or with a professional practitioner.
Yoni is an ancient Sanskrit word for vulva. It actually means sacred place . As you may remember from sex ed or some of our other posts, your vulva is your external genitalia while your vagina is inside. Your vulva includes your labia minora and majora and your clitoris. Thus, a yoni massage is a massage of the vulva .
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You might have heard of a lingam massage too, which is the term for this type of massage but on the penis. More on lingam massage here.
Yoni Massage for Healing
Now, you may already be familiar with massaging your vulva. It may be part of your regular masturbation or foreplay routine. You can simply do it to relax. Yoni massage has a very specific purpose, however: many people believe that you can work through past trauma with a yoni massage. In this way, yoni massage has a healing element.
How is this accomplished? Proponents of yoni massage believe that bodies store trauma as well as powerful energy in your yoni. The pelvic floor and lower spine make up one of the seven chakras or spiritual centers of the body, which makes them a powerhouse for sensual and emotional energy. This is the base or root chakra [3 p22, 4]. Although, the sacral chakra, below your belly button also deals with sexual energy .
These chakras can become unbalanced.
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Massaging the tissue is one way to access that trauma and to release it, which you need to do before you can finally complete the healing process. Because of this, you’ll see warnings that yoni massage can release a torrent of emotions, which can be quite overwhelming. Some people, for instance, might find themselves unexplainably crying during a yoni massage.
You’ve probably noticed by now that yoni massage incorporates spiritual elements. In fact, it’s sometimes described as a tantric yoni massage. Yoni massage can go hand-in-hand with tantric sex practices (read more). Although, you can enjoy both separately if you prefer.
Getting a Yoni Massage
If you want a yoni massage, you have a few options. You can give one to yourself or your partner can give it to you.
Finding a Professional Practitoner
Although this is more common in larger cities and sex-positive locales, there are practitioners who provide yoni massage, too. Here are a few tips for finding a practitioner to give you a yoni massage.
If a trusted friend can’t recommend a good yoni masseuse, then start with the Internet. Look for “yoni massage” or even “tantric massage” in your city. The websites and descriptions may not outright list yoni massage as a service because it may be considered as sex work, which is illegal. Keywords such as “tantra,” “intimacy,” and “sensual” can clue you in on the services offered. Expect to make a few calls to determine who offers this service.
Some businesses that provide this type of massage focus only on yoni massage while others offer yoni massage in addition to more traditional massage styles. Pay close attention to the ratings and reviews left by others. This can give you insight into how competent a practitioner may be and how comfortable their space is.
Beware testimonials that are hand-picked and posted on a website because they may purposely leave out less-than-positive reviews. Third-party sites (think Google or Yelp) are often less biased.
Yoni massage providers often vet their customers. There may be a screening process to see if your needs are compatible with their services (and to weed out anyone who might be trying to abuse yoni massage for nefarious purposes). The consultation can also benefit you: you learn more about what to expect during your massage.
You may have better luck finding someone to give a yoni massage through word of mouth, which is easier if you’ve connected with a local tantric community. For the lucky few who live in those places, there are even options such as workshops and organizations, which you’ll learn about later, that will teach you how to give a yoni massage if you’d like to perform the service for others.
No matter who performs the yoni massage, it’s important that the focus is your experience and pleasure. Yoni massage will be less effective if you feel pressured to orgasm or perform in a certain matter. This is one of the benefits of sensual massage .
Similarly, massaging your vulva will be more effective if you don’t have a time limit. It can be a time-consuming process; although, it doesn’t have to be.
Getting a yoni massage can be a life-altering experience. As so few of a woman’s sensual and sexual experiences are focused on her, and sex is often defined by a man’s erection and ejaculation, you might be quite surprised to discover an activity that’s all about you. Along with surprise, you might experience pleasure, relief, and a number of other emotions, all of which are completely normal!
Setting the Scene
To achieve the ultimate yoni massage experience, you’ll want to set up an ambiance that you like. This can include candles or incense, mood lighting, a warm room and relaxing or sensual music. It’s similar to setting the mood for sex, but you want to choose elements that focus on indirect sensuality and your body rather than sexuality.
Many of the tips we provide for giving a sensual massage apply to yoni massage, too. For instance, a slick oil helps you give (or receive) an even longer yoni massage without pain. It enables hands to easily glide over skin. Massage oil may even be scented, which adds to the overall ambiance.
There are a few options for massage oil. Natural oils such as coconut or jojoba oil work well, and you can add a couple drops of your favorite essential oil. However, you can also use silicone-based lube, which is quite slick and long-lasting.
The shower is one possible location for yoni massage. Soaps and bubble bath fill the air with your favorite scents, and lather can be used for your yoni massage. Avoid getting any soap in your vagina, however. This could lead to a bacterial or yeast infection.
Once your scene is set, it’s time to focus on your breathing. Slow, deep breaths help to relax your body and keep you in the moment. Focus on your breathing. If you find your attention drifting, gently revert it back to the sensations of your body and the sound and movement of your breath.
You can breathe in sync with your partner during a yoni massage, too. Either you can inhale and exhale simultaneously, or he can exhale, and you inhale, as though you’re breathing him in. When you breathe out, he breathes in.
Techniques for Yoni Massage
Now it’s time to get physical. Start with a rundown of your body. Most yoni massages include breast and nipple play. Slide your hands around and over your breasts. Bring them down to include your stomach, an area which many women ignore because of body-shame. You can rub your hips, your thighs, even your knees.
Get more ideas in our post about giving a massage.
Vary your touches from light and gently to more intense. You might pull and pinch your nipples but lightly caress your stomach. Let your hands explore as they will.
After this initial warmup, it’s time to focus on your yoni. There are five common yoni massage techniques.
As the name suggests, circling is about creating circles. This technique for yoni massage works well for clitoral stimulation as well as the nipples, and you can vary the size of the circles you make. Because circling can be quite light, it’s ideal for working through sedimentation blocks (I’ll talk more about sedimentation in a moment).
This yoni massage technique is a bit more intense. Using your finger, you can push down on your clitoral shaft, then use strokes to push and pull. Slide your finger down the shaft. Repeat this for both sides of your clit.
Place a finger on either side of your clitoris and tug it lightly. You can also gently roll it between your fingers by rubbing your fingers against it on either side.
Tugging also works for your labia or lower lips.
Using one or more fingers, tap your clitoris. Try various rhythms to see how your clit responds. If you find direct tapping too intense, you can tap on either side of your clitoris.
5. G-spot Massage
The final yoni massage technique moves away from the external clitoris to involve the G-spot. You might remember your G-spot as a sensitive spot on the front wall of your vagina. It’s located only a couple inches in, so most women can stimulate it with their fingers. Simply look for a sponge or bumpy area.
Read More: How to Find Your G-spot
You’ve probably heard that hooking your fingers is a good way to stimulate your G-spot. However, a toy with a curve or bulbous head might make the job easier. No matter what you’re using for your tantric G-spot massage, you can experiment with faster and slower movement and incorporate clitoral massage at the same time.
Working Through Blocks
As you’re massaging yourself or receiving a yoni massage from someone else, try to stay in the moment. There’s no goal or time limit. Slow down your movements and take as long as you need to balance the energy in your yoni or to massage any other body part.
For some people, orgasm is almost inevitable when getting a yoni massage. Some people can tap into their ability to have full-body orgasms with yoni massage.
But remember this isn’t necessarily the goal. Enjoy orgasm if it happens. If it doesn’t, that’s just fine, too! Some people prefer to ask their partners whether they wish to orgasm or not during a yoni massage.
You shouldn’t be surprised if you also experience twinges of sadness, anger or other negative feelings. Some people even experience pain during this activity. On the other hand, you might feel ecstatic. Again, this is completely normal.
Practitioners credit this to the massage doing its job at removing blocks or negative energy in your yoni. These blocks can take on physical attributes. There are three types of blocks.
- Sedimentation, which occurs when toxins are trapped within the yoni. These are the most shallow types of blocks and require only gentle pressure, sometimes with just a single finger, to remove during a yoni massage.
- Knots, which are surface blocks that form as a result of negative energy or even an illness. They can result in muscle tension and body aches.
- Tangles, which are deeper than knots and require deeper pressure to ameliorate. Yoni massage can soften this type of block and release the energy trapped within them.
When you encounter a block, you can choose the most appropriate technique to remove it during your yoni massage.
At the end of your massage, you can rest your hands on your yoni and feel its power and heat (someone who is giving you a yoni massage can do this, too). You’ll feel energy exchange, and you can express gratitude toward one another, your yoni, etc.
Meeting the Yoni Massage Community
If you’ve made it this far and you’re really into the idea of yoni massage, you might want to reach out to others. This way, you can learn about practitioners who give yoni massage, and you’re vetted as a trusted customer by the person who has recommended you.
Finding the tantric/yoni massage community in your area is similar to finding a practitioner. You can search for classes and workshops, which offer the added benefit of teaching you more about the practice as well as introducing you to people who can give a yoni massage. Some businesses that provide massage may also host these events while larger cities may be on the tour schedule for tantric coaches and teachers (Californians are especially lucky in this regard).
One website that can be helpful is Meetup. This site lets people create groups and schedule events based on similar interests. Not only can you find an event, you can search for a teacher or simply make friends within the community.
You may also find overlap in the tantric and orgasmic meditation communities.
There are tantra providers across the world who offer sensual and yoni massages, but if you can’t find a local practitioner, many providers offer online courses that instruct you in do-it-yourself yoni massage.
Whether you choose to participate in a tantric community, try yoni massage with your partner or simply use these techniques to heal your own trauma, you can experience the multiple benefits of yoni massage. There’s nothing to lose by trying it, even if you find that it’s not for you.
You can listen to this podcast about giving a yoni massage while you’re in the car or shower.
This post on Rising Woman explains how trauma and pain can be healed through this activity.
One woman wrote about her experience with yoni massage on the New York Post.
Frequently Asked Questions
FAQ #1- Isn’t yoni massage the same as masturbation?
No, it’s not. Although it may certainly feel good and can lead to orgasm, a yoni massage is more about therapy, healing, and discovery than it is pleasure. Yoni massage isn’t goal-oriented in the same way that masturbation is for some.
FAQ #2 – What if I don’t come?
As we mentioned, the focus of yoni massage isn’t orgasm. So you don’t have to worry about performing in that way. Do what feels good and direct energy in a helpful way. If someone else is performing the massage, try to relax and enjoy it. If you do have an orgasm, that’s great!
FAQ #3 – Why doesn’t it do anything for me?
For some people, genital stimulation is appreciated most when the intent is to reach orgasm and explicitly provide pleasure. If you’re one of those people, yoni massage might not do much for you.
Similarly, if you don’t buy into the idea of healing or manipulating energy through yoni massage, it’s less likely to have an impact on you.