Slapping During Sex, Full Guide: Tips, Techniques & Ideas

We’re going to explore slapping during sex (consensually) and offer expert insight to answer the question, “Why do I like being slapped in bed?” If you’ve been secretly dying to slap or be slapped during sex, or a partner has expressed their interest, today is your lucky day!

Slapping during sex is more common than you may realize and can be a good thing. But there are ways to go about it the wrong way, making it less safe and less likely you’ll have a satisfying experience. Following our advice can minimize possible weird experiences with slapping during sex while increasing your understanding of how to slap (or be slapped) during sex and make it extra kinky.

As Always, Consent! Consent! Consent!

If you surprise your partner by slapping them during sex, chances are much more likely that they’ll be unpleasantly surprised by it. You could trigger someone’s automatic response, like a slap or punch in return, and get hurt. Or…

They may even consider it assault!

While many people like rough sex or BDSM, not everyone likes face slapping. Getting verbal consent before you smack someone ensures you know it’s okay. It also gives you a chance to talk about how to do it.

Read: Guide to sexual consent.

One thing you absolutely should discuss is your safe word. Safe words like these 51 safe word ideas are a way to stop play and/or let your partner know there’s something wrong.

Discover BDSM negotiation for any scene or activity.

Related: Use Sexual Communication for Complete Sexual Fulfillment.

Why Some People Like Hitting or Getting Hit

People like getting slapped during sex for multiple reasons:

• You stay in the moment. The intensity forces them to pay attention to their body, not their thoughts.
• It’s part of your power exchange play
• You are sexually submissive
• You are a masochist who likes pain
• You are being slapped as part of a BDSM punishment
• It’s part of a roleplay that involves hitting. 42 role play ideas for sex.

Higher pain tolerance – Keep in mind that when you are highly aroused, you may have a higher tolerance to pain compared to normal.

Intense sex – Pain can also make pleasure feel more intense (9 intense sex tips). Plus, being aroused makes disgust harder to trigger, which may make you more open to a face slap.

If you like to slap – For those who like slapping, you might generally enjoy rough sex, being dominant or having control in the bedroom, or using slapping to get your partner’s attention. The threat of slapping during sex can also be a powerful tool, which you’ll read more about below…

How to Slap Your Partner During Sex

Remove jewelry and glasses – First, we recommend removing rings and other jewelry. Take care if you have long or pointy nails, too. You want to slap, not leave a bruise or cut your partner.

If the receiving partner wears glasses, they should remove them to avoid breaking or injuring them. Similarly, they can take out facial jewelry if it’s in the cheeks.

No pets – You may also want to keep pets out of the room as they can go into protective mode if they think their owners are being harmed.

Open palm – Keep your hand flat with your thumb to the side, not bent toward your palm. Try to keep your hand slightly relaxed.

Start softly – You can always increase how hard you hit someone, but you can’t take back a slap that was too hard.

Remember, concussion is not the goal!

Start with your hand close to their face, which results in a weaker slap. Use more wrist movement than arm and shoulder movement. If you and your partner are comfortable with this, you can add more arm movement and start further from their face or body to increase the intensity of your slap.

Finally, make sure to control your movements so you don’t accidentally slap the wrong place. Your finger pads should make contact with your target, not the heel or palm of your hand or very tips of your fingers/nails. You can practice lightly slapping yourself to figure out how you need to move to keep it controlled.

Get guidance – The kink community can also help you learn how to slap correctly. If you have access to a local sex toy store or kink club/dungeon, there may be a class. If that’s not accessible, you can watch a video about face slapping.

If your partner is moving wildly, you may want to wait until they’re calmer before you slap them.

Be sure to get feedback from your partner about the location, pace, and strength of your slaps.

Where to Slap Your Partner’s Face During Sex

Avoid slapping certain body parts, especially with force. This includes the ears, which could sustain eardrum damage, and eyes, which are sensitive to all sorts of physical trauma.

Instead, you can aim for the fullest part of their cheek, below the cheekbone. This gives you the most space to slap. While you can slap the jaw, you don’t want to punch the teeth or cheekbone, which could cause a break.

Slapping Other Body Parts During Sex

You can slap or be slapped on other body parts during sex.

Butt – Slapping someone’s ass verges into spanking territory, and we’ve got plenty of spanking advice! The butt makes a great target in a variety of sex positions. Plus, spanking can be good practice for slapping.

Breasts – The breasts are also a common place to slap because they’re accessible and can take it without much risk. You can slap from above, below, or either side. It can also be really hot to have someone slap your breasts while you’re in breast bondage, potentially leading to breast/nipple orgasms. Be careful if you have nipple piercings, however.

Penis/balls – Slapping the cock and balls can be fun because of how they respond to a slap due to their hanging. This also means you can slap toward the front from behind someone or in between their legs. You can lift the penis to slap just the balls or vice versa. If you want to spice up your blow jobs and your partner enjoys having their balls/penis slapped, the next time you are giving a blow job, you can try it.

You can also experiment with slapping a penis when it’s hard or soft.

Vulva – You can also slap the vulva, the outer area of the body with the mons pubis, clitoris, and labia that’s often incorrectly called the vagina. It can be difficult to aim your slap if you’re directly facing your partner. Instead, you might try slapping from above or below for more impact.

Techniques for Face Slapping

If you’ve got a face slapping fetish, you might enjoy experimenting with the various techniques to slap someone.

Related: List of 239 kinks and fetishes.

Forehand/open hand – This is what many consider the ‘normal’ or ‘basic’ type of slapping, where the inside of your fingers meet the target. You’ll swing your arm from your side. For example, if you’re right-handed, you’ll pull your arm to the right before bringing it forward again.

Backhand– In this type of slap, you’ll bring your hand back toward your opposite shoulder before swinging it forward so that the back of your hand touches the target. However, you will be using your knuckles, which can cause more injuries and pain.

Non-dominant hand – Most people slap with their dominant hand, so if you slap with your non-dominant hand, it can surprise your partner because it comes from the other direction. Your non-dominant hand also tends to be less strong if you’re worried about hurting your partner.

Two hands – Use both hands for a forehand slap in quick succession. This works well on the butt or face, where you can slap one side and then the other.

Warning tap – Tap your partner once or twice before slapping them as a warning of what’s to come.

Slap and tap – After a larger slap, you can lightly tap the same place on your partner’s body before you take your hand back.

Look over there – Tell your partner to look away from the direction of your slap if you want to surprise them.

Hold before slapping – Bring your hand back like you’re going to slap, but hold it where your partner can see it before slapping them to create lots of anticipation. You don’t necessarily have to slap them to achieve this, either. Or, you could mimic a rough slap but lightly tap them, instead.

Fake out – Bring your arm back like you’re going to slap your partner intensely, but slow it down so you only lightly slap or tap them, instead. Alternatively, you can stop entirely before hitting them. This is more effective the closer you get to their body before stopping.

Playing with this type of confusion and anticipation can make your slapping session incredibly intense, even if you don’t slap them much.

Gloved – Slapping with a gloved hand can feel much different than a bare hand. You can also lay fabric across their face or hold it in your hand when slapping.

Kiss and slap – Try slapping your partner right after giving them a sweet kiss on the cheek or kissing them where you just slapped them.

Slap and hold – Instead of removing your hand after you slap, keep it against your partner’s body.

Carress – Rub or caress your partner’s body before or after hitting them. Sensual massage techniques.

Blindfold – Slapping someone who is blindfolded can create a ton of anxious tension if that’s the sort of thing you’re into.

Grab – This is a move after someone has slapped you. You can grab their wrist(s), potentially pinning it above or behind their head.

What’s the Vibe You’re Going For?

The technique you use may depend on the mood you’re aiming for by adding

Anticipation – Knowing that a slap could be coming but not knowing when is a great way to build anticipation and heighten your sex or kinky scene.

Primal aggression – For some people, slapping during sex is all about their natural animalistic tendencies (and they may even be a type of dominant known as primal). It often goes along with grabbing, wrestling, scratching, growling, and even biting.

Discipline – Like spanking, a face slap can be a form of discipline for disobeying a dominant partner. If slapping isn’t your style, check out these other BDSM punishments.

Humiliation – Slapping during sex and humiliation go hand in hand, especially if your partner doesn’t like it. Combine it with degrading phrases, such as “You deserve that” or “You’re worthless,” and it can be especially powerful. Get tips for erotic humiliation and degradation.

Sadism/masochism – Sadism and masochism, which is often shortened to S&M, refers to an interest in giving or receiving pain sexually.

Attention getting – Getting slapped during sex is an easy way to focus your attention, which can be a benefit if you struggle with staying in the moment. If this is the goal, the hitter might reserve slapping during sex for those times when their partner isn’t paying attention.

In bondage – Slapping someone who is restrained in bondage is a great way to spice up sex.

The Safety and Risks of Face Slapping Kink

While you can safely slap someone or be slapped during sex most of the time, it’s possible to take things too far and cause pain, marks, or injury.

Bruising – A strong slap can even leave a handprint for days. While this might happen after someone slaps your ass, it’s usually a different story when you need to interact with people with a visible handprint on your face!

Be especially wary of getting too caught up in the moment, as you can unintentionally cause a bad injury.

Possible injuries include

• Bruising
• Cuts and scratches
• Perforated eardrum
• Chipped or broken teeth
• A cut on the inside of the cheek from the teeth
• Head injury, including concussion
• Scratched eyes

Chipping a tooth is also more likely if you have your mouth open when you’re slapped.

Keep in mind that slapping can move the face/head to the side, so this area should be clear of anything sharp or pointy. This movement can also cause injury to the neck and spine.

The person receiving the slap may not notice these injuries right away because one of the psychological effects of being slapped in the face is shock. While shock can have positive effects, it can also make it harder to notice an injury immediately.

Aftercare for Slapping During Sex

The type of aftercare will depend on the location and strength of the slap. Lighter slaps may need no aftercare at all.

However, you might want to apply an ice pack or spanking balm, which usually contains arnica, or another soothing product to the area for a more intense slap. If slapping breaks skin, treat the cut or scratch.

In-depth guide: Aftercare for BDSM and sex.

I Like Being Slapped by My Partner during Sex

If you’re one of the many people who like being slapped by your partner during sex, you might wonder if this is normal or if something’s wrong with you. Rest assured that you’re not alone. Plenty of other people could say, “I like being slapped by my partner,” even if they’re not willing to admit it.

Liking rough body play, including spanking or even punching during sex, doesn’t mean that anything is wrong with you. Many people have kinky desires that have no negative origin.

Why Do I Have a Slap Kink?

It’s not possible to say where this sexual desire comes from. For some people, it might be associated with something they’ve read or seen.

But as long as you get consent and ensure you do it safely, which you now know how to do, do what makes you feel good.