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31 Common Household Things To Use As A Dildo

by Sean Jameson

This discreet newsletter will teach you how to make him cum hard, give freaky blow jobs & make him scream your name in bed. Click here to get it.

makeshift dildo

Although there is a bustling sex toy market, many women first experiment with insertables that weren’t designed for sexual use. If you’re grabbed something from your local produce aisle or have at least considered buying it to use as a dildo to masturbate, you’re not alone. If you want to learn all the different techniques you can use with your dildo to have back-arching, spine-tingling orgasms, then you may want to check out my in-depth Dildo Guide here.

If you want to skip straight to the 31 different things you can use as a dildo click here or keep reading to make sure you stay safe and healthy when using a banana or cucumber or or some other object as a dildo.

Side note: If you are currently struggling to orgasm during sex or masturbation, then you may want to learn about the Easy Orgasm Solution. It will teach you how to have multiple vaginal and full body orgasms during sex and masturbation. It works even if you currently struggle to orgasm during sex or when masturbating. You can find out more here.

Podcast: Using A Dildo For More Orgasms (& Vibrators Too)

Before you dive into the guide below, you might want to have a listen the podcast I just finished recording on how to use your dildo for very intense and fulfilling orgasms. Note: Skip to 18:50 to where I start talking about using your dildo. The earlier part of the episode is all about using vibrators.

Listen to more Bad Girls Bible podcast episodes here

Safety Considerations When You’re Wondering What To Use As a Dildo

diy dildo

There are three main concerns when it comes to inserting things vaginally when you are trying to reach orgasm (read the Orgasm Guide to learn all the different ways you can climax) or even anally (more anal orgasm tips here).

  1. Can it transmit bacteria or cause infection?
  2. Can it break off?
  3. Will it cause injury?

The vagina is a sensitive place with its own delicate pH. If you’ve ever had a bacterial or yeast infection, which can be uncomfortable, then you already know this. Sex toy manufacturers have also come to respect this, which is why you’ll see shelves lined with body-safe silicone, wood, ceramic, glass and stainless steel dildos and vibrators (great tips for getting the most out of your vibrator here).

The one thing all those materials have in common is that they’re either non-porous or can be made that way with a coating. Porous materials contain tiny holes that aren’t visible to the human eye. Even after washing, they can harbor bacteria.

Squirting: Any woman can experience the intense pleasure of squirting, if you follow the right process. I demonstrate the most powerful squirting techniques and explain the process, step-by-step in the Squirting Magic Guide.

Most of the items that you might pick up to use as a makeshift dildo are porous, however. This includes wood, rubber and even fruits or vegetables. Without some form of gamma radiation, you cannot completely kill all the bacteria.

Consider this: that zucchini might still have traces of pesticide on it!

Another factor that can lead to infection is sugar, which is one main cause of yeast infections. This is why chocolate syrup is actually a bad idea, but it’s not just refined sugar that can be problematic. Fruit such as bananas contain natural sugars that may also cause yeast infection, so you’ll want to be smart when choosing things to use as a dildo.

You can reduce the chances of infection by wrapping a condom over your banana or vegetable.

Note: Using a peeled banana is dangerous as it can break and get stuck in your vagina. Never use a peeled banana.

Furthermore, items that might break, including wax candles, softer fruits or vegetables or even items made of glass are a bad idea. Although your cervix will stop anything from moving up into your uterus, you don’t want anything floating around that could cut you or cause a nasty infection!

Finally, when figuring out what to use as a dildo for replacing your man’s penis or your fingers, it’s important that you don’t choose an item that could be damaging to your vagina. Anything with sharp edges, creases of nubs has the potential to hurt you. This includes stems on vegetables. Certain varieties of squash and zucchini, for example, may not be smooth enough to safely use internally. If you’re picking out things to use as a dildo specifically, look for those that are smooth, without ridges and bumps that could possibly tear your vaginal lining and increase the risk of infection!

Again, a condom might help, but a particularly rough item might rip that, too. Note: If you want to learn how to finger yourself and enjoy, then you may want to learn the 8 different fingering techniques here that you can use put yourself over the edge and have powerful vaginal orgasms.

He will lust for you: It's easy to make a man desire you and turn him on, when you use the right kind of dirty talk. If you'd like to learn how, then you may want to check out the Wild Dirty Talk Guide. Inside, you'll learn how to confidently talk dirty along with the lines and phrases that work best for making him deeply desire you.

What About Using An ‘Alternative’ Dildo For Anal?

homemade dildo

The same concerns about porosity and bacterial infections exist, but there’s another consideration when it comes to using non-sex toys in your back door. [Click here to read the anal sex guide here] Unlike the vagina, which has the cervix, the anus continues into the colon and then on to the lower intestine. Toys without a proper flared or wide base or handle can get sucked into the anus, which could lead to one of those embarrassing ER trips!

Assuming you find something that has a safely flared base or a looped handle, the only other thing you need to worry about is sanitation. Even condoms might not do the trick, so you’ll want to stick to nonporous items that can be safely sterilized with bleach or by boiling. In fact, you’re better off only using that item for pleasure after you stick it in the anal cavity! More anal sex tips here and learn 19 of the most satisfying anal sex positions here.

So What Can I Use As a Dildo Safely…Here’s 31 Ideas…

things to use as a dildo


Ok, here are 31 different things to use as a dildo….

(Just make sure to wrap them in a condom first)

  • Hairbrush
  • Electronic toothbrush (which also makes for a makeshift vibrator)
  • Regular toothbrush handle
  • Handle of spoon
  • Handle of make up brush
  • Handle of screwdriver
  • Handle of hammer
  • Handle of a razor as these often come with ridges (always with the razor blade detached)
  • Handle of saucepan
  • Perfume bottles
  • Shampoos bottles
  • Mascara bottles
  • Make up bottles
  • Baseball bat (if it fits!)
  • TV remote
  • Candle or a bunch of candles
  • Handle on a tennis racket
  • Handle of a riding crop
  • Markers
  • Pen or bunch of pens (just make sure they can’t leak)
  • Ice (just make sure it’s not so cold that you get ice burns and that it’s easy to pull out)
  • Popsicle

You can also use smooth vegetables like a:

  • Cucumber
  • Banana (unpeeled only)
  • Carrot (or bunch of carrots)
  • Zucchini
  • Small egg plants
  • Non spicy peppers – Be very careful here
  • Bunch of asparagus
  • Leek
  • Corn still on the cob
  • Rhubarb

Just make sure to wrap these items in a condom to help prevent yeast infections or worse.

By the way if you want to stimulate your G Spot while using your makeshift dildo, then you should check out this detailed guide on finding it and stimulating it the right way.

Possibly useful: If you want to give your man (& yourself) back-arching, toe-curling, screaming orgasms that will keep him sexually addicted to you, then you'll find them in my private and discreet newsletter. You'll also learn the 5 dangerous & "dumb" sex mistakes that turn him off and how to avoid them. Get it here.

Also, if you want to learn how to get maximum pleasure when masturbating with a dildo, use the techniques in the Dildo Guide here.

Out of all of these items, the ice is probably the safest, but it’s not for everyone and can be dangerous if you it’s too cold and sticks to your skin. You’ll hear about plenty of unsafe items being used, too, including peeled bananas, frozen hot dogs, and vacuum attachments, which are just full of bacteria and can break apart and get stuck inside you! When considering what to use as a dildo, think beyond size and shape!

Many people have tried to use a water or soda bottle. This can potentially be safe, but you’ll have to thoroughly clean the bottle because bacteria can collect around the mouthpiece from use. A glass bottle with an especially narrow neck is probably the safest and sanitary option, but there is a small chance that a suction effect could occur or worse, it could potentially break. So my advice is to avoid using a glass bottle where possible.

Use these 14 powerful masturbation techniques so that you can start having full-body orgasms today (this guide includes detailed illustrations showing you exactly what to do).

How to Safely Play With Makeshift Dildos

what can i use as a dildo

We’ve already mentioned condoms several times for their ability to reduce the risk of infection, but they’re not the only safety precaution. Using soap and water or toy cleaner to clean and sterilize your makeshift dildo before inserting it is a must. If you can boil an item for several minutes or spray it with a 10% bleach solution and let it sit for a few minutes, you can sterilize it as long as it’s nonporous. Don’t forget to rinse it off!

Just like you want to use lube to ease insertion with an actual dildo, the same is recommended for any item around the house, especially if it’s going to cause you to stretch. You can buy water-based or silicone lubes from most Walgreen’s. You can also safely use pure coconut oil as a lube.

The same is true for olive oil. However, it will be more difficult to wash these oils from your vagina, hands and even the item you’re using to masturbate with than water-based lube. Furthermore, oil-based lubes can break down the condom you might be using to protect from infection.

Pure aloe or carrageenan can also be used for lubes, and you’ll find these as ingredients in many store-bought lubes, too. Stay away from butter and cooking materials that contain sugar, which can lead to yeast infections. Furthermore, baby oil is generally a bad idea for internal use because it contains mineral oil. Additionally, it’s important to understand that lotions or any item with scents can upset your vagina and lead to an infection, too.

Quick Warning: While this woman's story & subsequent BJ tutorial video is quite distressing, it will teach you how to make your man scream with pleasure and become sexually addicted to you. If you are interested in having your guy completely obsessed with you and only you, then check out her story & (explicit!) blow job tutorial video here.

There are a number of risks that you face if you look for things to use as a dildo that aren’t safe. And as embarrassing as it might be to shop for body-safe dildos, it’s even more embarrassing to show up in your local emergency room because you’re got an infection or injury from something that was never intended to be inserted in the first place. If you absolutely must use an alternative to a dildo, using a condom and common sense goes a long way.

October 3, 2020

About Sean Jameson

Sean is the editor of Bad Girls Bible and responsible for recruiting our team of sex and relationship experts. When he's not fastidiously checking for proper syntax or fixing bugs on the site, he's working with illustrators to make the Bad Girls Bible more beautiful and ensuring that our weekly email newsletter goes out on time.

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Comments

  1. senthil says

    March 28, 2015 at 11:10 am

    its so good to have some moist big carrot or cucumber into vagina moistened with oil and inserted with several thrust like motion you will feel as good as real fucking.

    Reply
    • sammy says

      April 30, 2015 at 2:54 am

      All of these are great! they all work well, I use larger objects now for anal such as wine bottles and just about anything I can find from local stores.

      Reply
      • POTATO says

        May 27, 2019 at 10:34 pm

        I like to make circular motions on my clitoris because it makes me wet and it feels so good

        Reply
      • Amilia says

        July 7, 2020 at 10:13 pm

        Nothing works for me smh

        Reply
        • llaal says

          December 28, 2024 at 9:29 am

          ikr

          Reply
      • Ryan says

        February 10, 2021 at 1:57 am

        Wine Bottles?? Really

        Reply
        • Brett says

          August 10, 2023 at 11:57 pm

          I would be scared of the glass breaking.

          Reply
    • Jenna says

      September 1, 2015 at 11:02 pm

      Did you peel the cucumber ?

      Reply
      • Kilie says

        November 26, 2015 at 4:13 am

        It’s feels so good even tho I’m only 18 and loves dildos

        Reply
        • Allan says

          January 9, 2017 at 6:54 am

          Curious. Have you found other things?
          Do you now have dildo?
          Do you know how to squirt?

          Reply
          • Shegirl says

            December 27, 2022 at 7:23 pm

            Hi Allan! I’m a squirter. I wasn’t until I got the o-shot at my local gyno and it’s AMAZING!

          • Jimmy says

            March 13, 2025 at 8:32 pm

            Im a guy and i like to use a PlayStation controler on my girlfriend before sex,it makes her wet and squirt. She says the vibration from it is the best

        • Alexis Hurtado says

          November 2, 2017 at 7:04 pm

          Oouu me too ????????????

          Reply
          • Moist says

            December 17, 2019 at 10:12 am

            A cucumber with large bumps makes me squirt

          • Mel says

            February 12, 2023 at 4:35 am

            How do I teach myself, I’m really wanting to master squirting most friends I have are younger then myself 23, but please help me

      • Rianna Cook says

        January 12, 2016 at 2:23 am

        NO because the juices can cause infection!

        Reply
        • karley says

          July 2, 2018 at 6:15 am

          unless u use a condom!

          Reply
      • Marcel says

        November 11, 2018 at 4:19 pm

        If u peel it, u should use a condom to cover it so the juices dont infect. Another thing to use instead of s condom is a plastic sandwich bag

        Reply
      • David says

        June 23, 2020 at 10:06 am

        No u do not

        Reply
      • janet says

        March 22, 2021 at 8:12 am

        no you dont peel the cucumber

        Reply
    • donna says

      February 20, 2016 at 4:31 am

      I love a big cucumber up my butt it feels so sexy

      Reply
      • Josh says

        July 14, 2018 at 4:03 am

        Have you tried using a pringles can?

        Reply
        • Makinzie Talbott says

          August 2, 2018 at 4:31 am

          ????????????????????

          Reply
        • Gabriel Dean says

          February 1, 2019 at 11:49 pm

          I tried. IT didnt end well. I got over the top and when i sytarted to get it in. I fell and the whole thing went up. It was a akward visit with the docters.

          Reply
        • Kat says

          August 4, 2020 at 4:42 pm

          Is that even possible?

          Reply
      • John says

        April 3, 2019 at 5:21 pm

        You should try a penis

        Reply
        • duhh says

          May 7, 2019 at 3:38 pm

          Wow, cuz u can’t get a yeast infection, uti or std from those! Not to mention what’s attached such as idiots like you!!!

          Reply
        • Annette says

          August 26, 2019 at 12:21 am

          Thats where a dildo comes into play lol

          Reply
        • Kalie says

          December 25, 2019 at 7:16 am

          Good job
          XD

          Reply
    • SuperHornySenior says

      April 2, 2016 at 1:44 am

      Do try a big thick ear of fresh corn for summer pleasure. Shuck the corn and put a tight condom on it so your vag will enjoy the bumpiness of the kernels. I have cum 5 or 6 times while fucking this way. Masturbating is one of life’s greatest pleasures – I can do it for hours.

      Reply
      • Jane Silver says

        May 21, 2017 at 3:40 pm

        Great technique, I love the bumpy feeling inside my Vigina hole, it make me so horny and I cum so fast ????????

        Reply
      • Bianca says

        December 12, 2018 at 8:56 pm

        I can go for hours! It’s so sexy and my pussy feels so good

        Reply
      • Hotlady says

        June 19, 2019 at 3:48 pm

        I’m a 64 yr old female, I don’t have a partner, but I like to fuck, so I used lots of things around my house, including my vacuum, it makes me cum so hard…… Gonna have to find a fuck buddy. Happy fucking!!

        Reply
        • Steve says

          December 29, 2024 at 4:33 am

          Yummy

          Reply
      • Hotlady says

        June 19, 2019 at 3:54 pm

        I’m going to take a trip to the market….. I need to fuck a corn, it made me so hot!!

        Reply
        • Hellohotlady says

          June 23, 2020 at 2:56 am

          Hi there. Just curious, do you mean an ear or a kernel? X

          Reply
          • Sean Jameson says

            July 6, 2020 at 7:37 am

            ear of corn = corn on the cob
            kernel = the individual bits of corn

      • Camzzz says

        December 30, 2019 at 2:27 am

        Am I the only one getting horny from these reply’s

        Reply
        • Horny says

          February 13, 2020 at 8:52 am

          Nope ?

          Reply
        • ClosetNympho says

          January 10, 2021 at 11:36 pm

          Not at all im touching myself right now. Wish I had a masturbation bestie.

          Reply
          • Me says

            March 15, 2021 at 2:25 am

            Your so hot

      • Blank girl says

        January 2, 2020 at 4:51 pm

        Omg that sounds so fucking amazing just reading that makes my pussy throb

        Reply
        • Ali Rhodes says

          April 6, 2021 at 4:40 pm

          same

          Reply
    • Ari says

      July 13, 2016 at 3:10 am

      Yes , damn i felt so good , my bf is out of town and i got lonely af

      Reply
    • Jim & Kay says

      September 3, 2016 at 7:41 pm

      My wife gets off with cucumbers as a dildo and a butt plug but she puts them in a condom for hygiene.

      Reply
      • sakshi says

        October 17, 2020 at 6:08 pm

        I use a broken spatula handle and it works fine. I have 2 seperate broken spatula handle. One for anal and one for pussy. I’m 19 years old

        Reply
        • George Floyd says

          April 12, 2024 at 11:10 pm

          Cool beans

          Reply
    • jenna says

      December 29, 2016 at 2:33 am

      i like a pool stick with lube

      Reply
      • Karson Cole says

        June 24, 2017 at 5:51 am

        I’ve done my asshole with a pool stick. It’s nice because it’s not too thick and goes really deep. I don’t like that it is not soft or warm at all. An empty shampoo bottle or soft tube of something like sunscreen is nice because you can fill it up with hot water before penetration and it feel oh so nice!!!

        Reply
        • Carebear says

          February 19, 2021 at 6:09 am

          I’m definitely trying that

          Reply
      • Freak says

        August 18, 2018 at 12:50 am

        I LOVE a good pool stick, but my household broomstick makes me cum almost immediately!

        Reply
    • Trell says

      January 19, 2017 at 11:43 pm

      I’m a boy who likes his toilet plunger ????

      Reply
      • Jason says

        February 7, 2017 at 7:39 am

        Im a boy too and I love the corn cob one but I started with my plunger

        Reply
        • Jose says

          November 2, 2017 at 7:34 am

          Hey so I’m curious as to what other things we can use for anal. Cause I’m a guy and I’ve never had real dick. But I get super horny when I’m high and I use my fingers but I know I can fit much more in there.

          Reply
          • Tom says

            December 13, 2017 at 5:41 am

            Keep using your fingers until you can comfortably fit three fingers inside. Then you are ready for a dildo or something like it otherwise your hole will be too tight and it might turn you off to trying it again

      • Aj says

        February 19, 2018 at 2:24 am

        Me too

        Reply
      • Nely says

        July 25, 2018 at 2:19 am

        Dude same I just put it in a plastic bag and lube it up

        Reply
      • Jamy layers says

        October 29, 2018 at 5:22 pm

        I used a toilet plunger and a tootbrush a brooms stick and i use 3 cucumbers with condoms i love doing that. I am a boy too i really want a vibrator for this bc that would feel so good

        Reply
        • Nicole says

          March 6, 2019 at 11:20 am

          Looking at these comments is making me horny

          Reply
          • Lola says

            March 25, 2019 at 3:07 am

            Same here

          • Vaginalsex says

            May 9, 2019 at 1:16 am

            God same

          • Tiger says

            October 29, 2019 at 8:30 pm

            Is it painful or with pleasure

        • Allison Nicolle Williams says

          May 4, 2020 at 11:19 pm

          for vibrator get a electric tooth brush and turn it on and put the handle of it inside of you

          Reply
    • Sassy says

      June 20, 2017 at 3:47 pm

      Well until MEN LEARN HOW TO PLEASURE A WOMAN and not be so high on his I can fuck you great ego and we find out other wise then just shut up and how the fuck are we whores just cause we masturbate. Answer that one. We can please ourselves better than any man would ever love to learn how I have yet to find a man that can man up to his words of he knows what he is doing.

      Reply
      • Kai says

        November 13, 2017 at 8:19 am

        Hats off to you, very well said. Masturbation does not make one a whore or anything of the sort. And that’s person who said that was very rude. I hope you have a great life. We, men are not the best what do ever. But I’m glad that you’ve tolerated us so long.

        Reply
        • Raccoon says

          December 29, 2019 at 7:09 am

          I was on board until the we men are not the best part. I think gender plays less of a role in whether someone is a good person. Like, I don’t think it fuckin matters. I hate the idea of puttin men and women in seperate groups and having these wholistic interpretations of these groups. I hate it when men do it, I hate it when women do it. That guy up there, a prick, that lady who responded to him, reasonable. You aren’t being a prick, you just shouldn’t spologize on behalf of men for that pricks actions. You aren’t that prick, a majority of men are nothing like that prick, so its dumb to pretend it is that way and then apoligize for it being so.

          Reply
      • Christopher says

        January 4, 2018 at 7:02 am

        @Sassy. That fucker does not account for all men. Some of us know that women hold up our society and should be treated like godesses.

        Reply
        • joshua shaw says

          January 23, 2024 at 2:35 pm

          agreed

          Reply
      • Sarah says

        July 28, 2018 at 3:28 pm

        Amen to that,and then they demand us to suck there dicks so they can get off, so we really aren’t getting any satisfaction out of it except for getting a mouth full of cum so we do our job guys when will you, and don’t get me wrong as a woman myself I really love sucking dick.

        Reply
        • Mister says

          January 8, 2024 at 2:37 am

          Great woman!

          Reply
      • Aguy says

        November 9, 2018 at 2:34 pm

        On behalf of all man…. Well he’s just pissed go on.. Some of us use toys too xD otherwise why should we be here duh

        Reply
      • Dee says

        December 17, 2018 at 4:37 pm

        I found one…. But it went South …. I am now with a guy who does good but not like the other guy

        Reply
      • Practicemakesperfect says

        June 8, 2019 at 7:39 am

        Personally I think we, as men should try to improve ourselves for your pleasure.

        Reply
        • Raccoon says

          December 29, 2019 at 7:11 am

          She isn’t gonna f*** you, dude.

          Reply
      • Tiger says

        October 29, 2019 at 8:38 pm

        Great reply . Well that person seems to be psycho who utter rudely. I m with all you women who enjoys masturbation as you all are neither hurting nor cheating anyone.

        Reply
        • Random guy says

          June 11, 2021 at 1:55 pm

          Im a psycho like medically diagnosed and he does not speak for all psychos nor does he speak for all men. Alot of men use toys and stuff too otherwise we wouldnt be here

          Reply
      • Jess says

        November 7, 2019 at 8:41 pm

        OMG I’m straight and yeah I have a guy and stuff 16 years now… its been boring… I think I am in love with you lol you are awesome with your words and standing up for us woman who don’t mind fondling the hell out of our OWN pussies so yeah how is that being a whore? LOVE LOVE LOVE!!

        Reply
    • darci says

      July 29, 2017 at 10:04 pm

      Does anyone have a good thing to use that can come from a bedroom?

      Reply
      • Real says

        August 3, 2017 at 11:56 am

        Just rub your pussy with your fingers and use your imagination..

        Reply
        • Ashley says

          November 10, 2017 at 8:41 pm

          Oh my god it feels so good

          Reply
        • Mr. Kinky says

          December 26, 2017 at 8:26 pm

          I enjoy riding a not real thick Dildo as one of my women uses her fingers as she squats above my face until she Cums on my face, then I’ll lick her clean…

          Reply
          • bigreddogclifford69 says

            January 17, 2021 at 3:07 am

            mr kinky i love you

      • Mia says

        October 25, 2017 at 3:43 pm

        Hairbrushes are good. Or your TV remote. Whatever you happen to find that is cleaned off.

        Reply
      • Anonymoose says

        December 18, 2017 at 10:45 pm

        Oh, hairbrushes. I did it last night. Two words, cum load

        Reply
    • me,myself and i says

      August 13, 2017 at 7:34 am

      just because some men and women use substitute sex toys doesn’t make them whores and it doesn’t mean they can’t find a significant other. i know many people that use sex toys and are in relationships. and not everyone wants kids.

      Reply
    • ANONYMOUS says

      August 21, 2017 at 6:11 pm

      Then why did you read this?

      Reply
    • Hotgirl 69 says

      November 16, 2017 at 6:30 am

      Can you use a bubble wand/stick as a dildo?

      Reply
      • Rando says

        July 17, 2018 at 3:40 pm

        Yes as long as you know that it will not open or keep it empty.

        Reply
      • itz her>33 says

        May 29, 2023 at 7:23 am

        yeah…i use a bubble stick that is too good and have nice effect on my pussy…it feels so good while doing it…to make the experience much better make sure u have proper amount of lube on your pussy…and while doing this u can just put on some porn in the background….and also u can go for clitoral orgasm side by side with the bubble stick….for me its too good..it makes me cum a lot…

        Reply
    • Alaska Evergreen says

      December 30, 2017 at 6:23 am

      If we are whores then why did you search the article?

      Reply
    • User says

      January 3, 2018 at 1:08 am

      Soooo why are you on this site

      Reply
    • Fucker says

      January 17, 2018 at 1:18 am

      You are an ass hole

      Reply
    • Rey says

      January 29, 2018 at 10:47 am

      Well, masturbation is a very good way of relieving stress and sexual frustration until a real man or a real dildo can satisfy a woman. Masturbating does not make a girl a whore, nor does sleeping with a lot of men makes us a slut. If that were really true, what would men be called? Man-whores and man-sluts. Maybe you’re just sad your ex-gf has sex with a carrot more than your dick? Poor you.

      Reply
    • Leela says

      February 5, 2018 at 6:36 pm

      Why were you on this site at 12:10 AM?? Lol. Plus you are just jealous no one will date you because you probably weigh about 10 tonnes and continue to smash Doritos into your face as you search up all the websites where you can try to get people annoyed, do you think that anybody cares about your judgement and ‘morals’? Thanks for reading you rub of lard ????.

      Reply
      • Anonymous says

        March 16, 2019 at 5:53 am

        Nothing wrong with being an insomniac ? anonymous

        Reply
      • Unknown says

        March 16, 2019 at 5:58 am

        I’m up later then them ?

        Reply
    • Random person says

      March 22, 2018 at 12:11 am

      You’re*

      Reply
    • Kayla ore says

      April 5, 2018 at 9:20 am

      That’s exactly why we want to know how to pleasure ourselves… cuz of dipshits like you. Smh

      Reply
    • Susannah says

      July 9, 2018 at 6:20 pm

      To those out there who call the women that read this fantastic article “whores” I’d like to remind you that lots of us don’t have the money or courage to buy proper dildos. Secondly, most dildos are one shape and/or size whereas a carrot, cucumber or zucchini and all the other long thick vegetables vary in size and also have different textures that make us cum quicker. Thirdly, I’m pretty sure you have a dirty pleasure or a dormant one that you are yet to embarrassingly discover. Lastly, I’ll finish this with some words of wisdom: if you judge someone or something, you’re giving the entire universe the right to judge you! So don’t get angry when someone says you’re an idiotic, vanilla asswipe, because you’ve judged us! Also, go back to school, your spelling and grammar are worse than a Pre-schooler!

      Reply
      • Jishy Squidhy says

        February 3, 2019 at 9:40 pm

        I am a man and I generally feel bad for all the men who shame you woman for wanting to get off. I personally on a normal day jerk off twice and I don’t get fucking yelled at for it, but if a woman gets off or masturbates they are labeled disgusting whores. Smh to all the men giving us a good man a bad reputation. I’m not perfect and not the coolest person, but I can tell all the woman here that men aren’t worth the trouble. One thing thought. If you find a man who is fucking great at sex and has a awesome personality don’t let him go no matter what it you will regret it for the rest of your life. Other than that keep masturbating my fellow human beings. ?lol

        Reply
    • why says

      July 20, 2018 at 3:59 am

      THEN WHY DID YOU SEARCH THIS SITE :/

      Reply
    • ?? says

      September 10, 2018 at 6:55 am

      then why tf r u here

      Reply
    • OzzyOz says

      December 16, 2018 at 8:25 pm

      U-umm…

      Reply
    • Hannah Jackson says

      January 7, 2019 at 10:44 pm

      1. Whores with a W.
      2. Calm down
      3. Some ppl have a boyfriend and they had to go somewhere and ppl aren’t gunna cheat on them
      4. If there ere actually decent guys out there that cared more about the way women feel – both just the way they look then maybe we wouldn’t need to masturbate. There’s nothing wrong with it anyway and some sex toys are actually nicer to ride than an actual dick.

      That’s just my opinion but fu anyway

      Reply
    • You Dickhead says

      January 12, 2019 at 10:11 pm

      A. If we are all whores than why are you even reading this? Also, sex and masturbation is actually healthy. So, take what you learned while your visit to this page and get lost!

      Reply
    • Lola says

      March 25, 2019 at 3:10 am

      Ok first of all some of us don’t want to have sex yet so we master bate and second of all u can’t spell so don’t even start bitch.THANKS

      Reply
    • TJ says

      April 26, 2019 at 9:07 pm

      Is there anything u can use other than a condom?

      Reply
      • Hailey says

        July 13, 2019 at 11:30 am

        Yes, try plastic wrap! Make sure to use alot tho, just in case it rips

        Reply
    • bitch says

      December 9, 2019 at 5:35 am

      1. Whores
      2. Until a man learns how to pleasure me I’m gonna masturbate
      3. Fuck off dude

      Reply
    • None says

      December 22, 2019 at 7:37 am

      Go fuck a cacti

      Reply
    • Mason says

      September 4, 2020 at 9:52 am

      Is it safe

      Reply
    • Girl says

      February 6, 2021 at 7:51 pm

      Ok

      Reply
    • Shawney Husk says

      June 7, 2023 at 9:36 pm

      I like putting the cucumber in the freezer for about 10 to 15 minutes and then lubing it up and fucking my myslef. The hot and cold sensations feel so goood

      Reply
  2. alexi says

    May 11, 2015 at 7:24 am

    I use a tooth brush I love it

    Reply
    • Amanda says

      October 8, 2015 at 3:15 am

      Just a regular tooth brush?

      Reply
      • Euei says

        January 20, 2016 at 7:57 am

        Reg toothbrush ot electric toothbrush?

        Reply
        • Sabrina says

          February 28, 2016 at 12:13 am

          You can use both, the reg one you have to do the motion, the electric one you can just turn it on and it acts like a vibrator

          Reply
          • Sad potato says

            May 22, 2018 at 4:20 am

            If you use a electric toothbrush put the brush side just a little above your clit it fells so good and it made me cum in like 15 seconds.

  3. Jeff R. says

    July 18, 2015 at 2:52 am

    Great tips! Don’t forget, some of us fellas use this stuff too ;)Pro tip: make sure you shuck the corn before use! My bathroom was like Normandy after that “slip-up” lolroflcopterwtf

    Reply
  4. Tailey says

    July 21, 2015 at 3:30 am

    The thicker bubble swords from Walmart or 99 cent stores work amazing. I work at a Walmart and have bought a couple of these. 😉

    Reply
    • anonymous says

      March 30, 2016 at 5:11 am

      I’ve used those they work great I love them??

      Reply
    • Lexi says

      June 29, 2017 at 2:54 am

      I sometimes go through toothbrushes and children’s toys at the dollar tree or other, mentally analyzing it all to see what might work. I like texture and those bubble handle toothbrushes work great..

      Reply
      • Anonymous says

        March 29, 2018 at 1:48 am

        What can u use in place of a condom

        Reply
        • karley says

          July 2, 2018 at 6:18 am

          Saran wrap

          Reply
          • Allie says

            September 6, 2018 at 9:19 pm

            don’t try a Ziploc bag, the corners and edges are sharp. Seran wrap is a much better idea, thanks!

    • Lock says

      July 2, 2017 at 5:06 am

      Geezus christ same here, thing is fucking amazing, put like warm water in it. Omg….

      Reply
    • serenity says

      October 10, 2017 at 1:33 am

      Also a hot dog with a condom on it works amazing;-)

      Reply
  5. Kyla says

    August 17, 2015 at 2:14 pm

    The mascara bottle is a good one

    Reply
    • Roxie says

      April 7, 2017 at 7:04 pm

      Does it feel good and how long do j have to keep doing it in order to cum or have a orgasm?
      I’m 21 virgin and a Muslim girl

      Reply
      • CumInside says

        July 10, 2017 at 7:09 am

        The mascara bottle makes me cum so fast and I cum multiple times, but I make sure to use the rounded bottles

        Reply
        • Nini says

          March 19, 2018 at 6:25 pm

          I tried the mascara bottle and next day I opened it there was dried off white stuffs there ????????

          Reply
          • Nicole H says

            June 8, 2023 at 3:51 pm

            That’s just vaginal discharge. Lol

  6. Anon says

    August 22, 2015 at 6:17 am

    I use my makeup blending brushes/powder brush and my powder brush is really thick and long so it works great and also feels amazing ?

    Reply
    • Amy waterston says

      May 14, 2018 at 11:06 pm

      Same i rub it up and down my clit amazing!!! Makes me cum !! Alot

      Reply
    • Geanie says

      July 23, 2018 at 2:36 am

      Omfg I used a mascara bottle and tell handle of my blending brushes!!! Ugh lovvveeee

      Reply
  7. Blok says

    September 3, 2015 at 8:16 pm

    Screw driver handles work like a charm.

    Reply
  8. Sally says

    September 11, 2015 at 8:31 pm

    I use the handle part of a screwdriver

    Reply
  9. Tina says

    October 29, 2015 at 3:38 am

    I use the handle of my razor its ribbed & curved at the end like it was specially made for my vagina!

    Reply
    • Anon says

      June 14, 2016 at 8:18 am

      Same! Mine has little ridges on it too and it feels amazing

      Reply
    • Lesa says

      March 11, 2018 at 10:37 pm

      Does a turkey basture work

      Reply
      • eva says

        November 16, 2018 at 10:45 am

        im not sure but if you have a wall cord thats around you could make it into a dildo sort of, it feels really good and with the right thickness it can actually make someone cum. Its great for when my boyfriend works late and im all alone

        Reply
    • doe says

      December 23, 2019 at 12:38 pm

      the razor was specially made for shaving

      Reply
  10. Zac says

    October 29, 2015 at 4:40 pm

    If you put a comdom on the object and it goes inside you completely then you can just pull it out and it reduces infection
    Use a comdom

    Reply
  11. Jess says

    November 6, 2015 at 12:19 am

    I personally used an electric tooth brush, Fruit 2O Pop bottles, perfume bottles, big round shampoo bottles, baseball bats & TV remotes(inside a condom of course, tried it without one & had to buy another & explain my way out of that…NOT FUN)

    Reply
  12. Vicky says

    November 14, 2015 at 12:08 am

    Plzzzzz someone come and make me cum

    Reply
    • Paula says

      January 16, 2016 at 9:14 pm

      Lol got time? ?

      Reply
      • Aarron says

        January 27, 2016 at 8:38 am

        I’ve got time ;p

        Reply
    • Jessica rabbit says

      April 4, 2016 at 4:50 pm

      I need to cum too. Ughhhh fucking myself feels so god but I need relief!!

      Reply
      • fdjksf says

        August 23, 2017 at 7:57 pm

        same nothing i try works

        Reply
    • Sum girl says

      September 29, 2023 at 5:39 pm

      I can’t cum? Like I’ve done so many things but I just can’t like I get wet but never cum?

      Reply
      • Sean Jameson says

        October 23, 2023 at 2:31 pm

        Check out our guide on how to orgasm.

        Reply
  13. Joe says

    December 19, 2015 at 3:00 pm

    Saucepan handles hahahaha!! The mental imagery of some of the things on this list is hilarious. Just buy a bloody dildo!

    Reply
    • Nikky says

      January 9, 2016 at 12:05 am

      Hahahaha

      Reply
    • xoxoxola says

      May 18, 2016 at 6:48 pm

      sometimes you can’t

      Reply
      • reallygayeli says

        February 24, 2018 at 1:57 am

        Yeah, that would fun to explain to my parents…

        Reply
        • Gayboi says

          November 6, 2018 at 12:58 am

          Same here lol

          Reply
  14. anonymous says

    December 30, 2015 at 2:13 am

    Is It safe if you fall asleep with a marker in your butt

    Reply
    • Sean Jameson says

      January 11, 2016 at 3:18 pm

      Almost definitely not

      Reply
    • Sarah says

      January 28, 2016 at 2:25 am

      ??

      Reply
      • Rach says

        November 9, 2017 at 1:14 am

        I like big fat summer sausage!

        Reply
  15. Girly girl says

    January 4, 2016 at 5:00 pm

    I use a big marker inside of a glove

    Reply
    • Female says

      August 10, 2017 at 2:08 pm

      If you put sharpie markers in your vagina or butt you can put as many in as possible, I can personally fit 8 in my vagina and it is nice because it stretches your vagina and is the perfect size 😉

      Reply
      • User says

        January 3, 2018 at 1:22 am

        I’ve tried this in my ass it’s great

        Reply
      • Not gonna tell ya says

        December 4, 2020 at 6:40 am

        I used an old ballon stick and wrapped it in string then I squirted

        Reply
  16. horny cockslut says

    January 7, 2016 at 1:17 pm

    I use everything i find like lipsticks,beauty brushes,hair brush etc and my vagina loves it!

    Reply
    • Aaliyah says

      May 21, 2016 at 9:54 pm

      Same here

      Reply
    • riya Srivas says

      September 4, 2016 at 7:44 am

      I like only big cocks or anything like big cock something really bigger than 7″

      Reply
      • Lynn says

        November 7, 2017 at 7:41 am

        Have you ever tried the large size mag flashlight put a condom on it and go to town you can even sit up on your knees hold between your feet and ride it like a champ while still having your hands free to play and squeeze your nipples if nipple stimulation helps your achieve orgasm which it does for me and even being vocal about it feeling good and the f*ck me’s etc. It heightens the orgasm for me but anyway just a suggestion but be careful to cause it’s metal and hard you might get overly excited and push it in to hard and could be painful. Js

        Reply
      • Tiger says

        October 29, 2019 at 8:52 pm

        Just try out once 2 cucumber simultaneously .It will make you cum multiple times with its gentle stroke . Initially with less speed later on geared up extremely. Trust me moaning is for sure.

        Reply
  17. Neuro says

    January 9, 2016 at 2:35 pm

    JOE! That’s just too simple and not sexy enough O_o

    Reply
  18. Hotpink says

    January 9, 2016 at 9:50 pm

    Knitting needles come in lots of sizes up to one inch in diameter. They are perfect, easy to clean, and not embarrassing to buy!

    Reply
  19. Euei says

    January 20, 2016 at 8:03 am

    And also chopsticks lol #asian

    Reply
    • Puffball says

      June 15, 2016 at 10:03 am

      Hopefully not the wooden ones!

      Reply
  20. Emma says

    January 24, 2016 at 2:36 am

    None of this compares to a hard dick, but if you are going to use any of these use a condom. I’m 19 this year and I tend to be very horny, I have even used some of these with household lubes. (Shampoo, vegetable oil, etc..) Any way this is my opinion, Happy Fucking ??

    Reply
    • Meth heads says

      April 3, 2019 at 5:28 pm

      Who the f uses shampoo in their vagina as lube wtf

      Reply
    • puke says

      December 23, 2019 at 12:48 pm

      don’t use shampoo that is so bad for you

      Reply
      • Bdc says

        March 23, 2024 at 5:52 pm

        Blown soap bubbles out the vag for the next week

        Reply
  21. Tim says

    January 27, 2016 at 1:07 pm

    This is probably a bad question just by looking at the site name, but is this site only for women or are there certain areas for anal with guys? (Again probably a dumb question)

    Reply
    • Sean Jameson says

      February 1, 2016 at 9:12 am

      Hi Tim,

      I created the site for women, but guys can still get a lot out of it. If you are interested in anal sex, then you should try checking out this section.

      Reply
  22. Lovesex says

    January 28, 2016 at 10:37 am

    Never tried but will try:)

    Reply
  23. amy says

    January 31, 2016 at 7:30 pm

    I have this toilet paper holder that is in a zig zag shape and has a ball, the size of a small gumball, at the end. I love ploughing my pussy with it while rubbing my clot.

    BEST CUM EVER 🙂

    Reply
    • amy says

      January 31, 2016 at 7:31 pm

      I meant clit*

      Reply
  24. black cock says

    February 10, 2016 at 8:41 am

    does this mean an unpeeled banana wraped in a condom is a bad idea? Genital stimulation is part of foreplay.

    Reply
    • Sean Jameson says

      February 15, 2016 at 11:33 am

      As long as it’s wrapped in a condom, then it should be fine.

      Reply
      • Mildred says

        April 12, 2016 at 1:10 pm

        Do you need a condom for makeup brushes?

        Reply
        • Sean Jameson says

          April 14, 2016 at 8:41 am

          My advice is to always use a condom on anything that isn’t sterile.

          Reply
          • Mia says

            October 25, 2017 at 3:51 pm

            We don’t have coindoms so I sterilize what I gottaa use lol. Make sure to was it good and then pee after masterbating. It reduces the risk I guess.

  25. sally says

    February 13, 2016 at 8:48 am

    Use a screwdriver handle! thank me later

    Reply
    • Bianka says

      March 1, 2021 at 4:21 am

      I wanna try that next time in the shower. Right now I am using those extra big sharpie markers and before I use the end where there is no cap, I just lather it in soap and wash and then shove that in my pussy. It feels so good and it hits that spot everytime. I can’t fit a hair brush handle yet but I’m trying.

      Reply
  26. donna says

    February 20, 2016 at 4:28 am

    I love a big cucumber in my butt at 46,then after a couple of hours of pleasant anal I love ❤ too put my butt plug in and tight jeans on heels wooden heels

    Reply
    • Natasha says

      September 12, 2016 at 3:46 pm

      I use a febreze can it feels so good

      Reply
    • Tiger says

      October 29, 2019 at 8:59 pm

      Donna you reply has really turned me on. At age of 46 well I can imagine all big size. Its a super turn on session. I think you must try thick cucumber to heighten your pleasure.

      Reply
  27. curiouschica says

    March 7, 2016 at 5:17 am

    What about an unpeeled banana? in a condom of course

    Reply
    • Kenzie says

      March 11, 2017 at 10:34 pm

      That would work

      Reply
  28. Naughty but nice! says

    March 15, 2016 at 7:39 pm

    I didn’t think a toothbrush would suffice as I like plenty of girth but it’s doing the trick very nicely right now. Will invest in an electric one tomorrow!

    Reply
  29. Lesbchick says

    March 17, 2016 at 2:57 am

    This helped a lot. Thanks! ^-^ And that marker thing is awesome! Just saying…

    Reply
    • reallygayeli says

      February 24, 2018 at 1:59 am

      I know, right?!

      Reply
  30. Dylan says

    March 28, 2016 at 5:30 am

    I am a guy and I like to put the handle of a toothbrush in my butt does that make me gay

    Reply
    • Anon says

      April 6, 2016 at 5:02 pm

      No, anal play can be for anyone regardless of orientation.

      Reply
    • Bdc says

      March 23, 2024 at 5:55 pm

      Only if the toothbrush was a dude

      Reply
  31. -Kel says

    March 28, 2016 at 6:02 pm

    I do this with my dog. (Without the peanut butter) sometimes he bites/nibbles and j just have to push him away for a second. But he really loves to eat me out and eat my ass. He shows a lot of attention to every part of me down there.

    Reply
    • Heather says

      July 15, 2018 at 8:25 am

      i used to do this with my pet rat and apple sauce, she used to nibble aswell so i would have to just cover up for a sec.

      Reply
    • Trash cank says

      April 3, 2019 at 5:25 pm

      Bro I use my dog too lmao he licks hella anytime I want him to and I can get my pussy to pulsate from it it feels good and sexy

      Reply
  32. anonymous says

    March 30, 2016 at 12:54 am

    Should I use a condom for all of these things

    Reply
    • Sean Jameson says

      April 1, 2016 at 8:10 pm

      Anything that isn’t sterile needs a condom.

      Reply
      • FuckKitty69 says

        October 15, 2017 at 1:59 am

        What do you consider sterile

        Reply
  33. Nommy says

    April 1, 2016 at 8:11 pm

    Damn! Am so turned on after all this. Can anyone help me cummm?

    Reply
  34. SuperHornySenior says

    April 2, 2016 at 1:33 am

    Even retired people get really horny and need to cum often. My bf is very well endowed and I love to cum on his long, thick cock. When he’s not around I pleasure myself with a big glass phallus. in the past I used a vegetable brush with a nice, pussy-pleasing handle. Also fucked a thick candle but got scared when I took it out and found that my body heat had sort of melted it. lol All of you younger guys, enjoy your sexuality. Fuck often. Cum at least once a day, it’s good for your health.

    Reply
  35. Sam says

    April 23, 2016 at 2:06 pm

    Can I use cling fling instead of a condom?

    Reply
    • Sean Jameson says

      April 28, 2016 at 3:33 pm

      My advice is to use a condom

      Reply
  36. Alli says

    April 25, 2016 at 12:15 am

    What about a hairbrush with a rubber handle and not a plastic one? I’ve been using it (with a condom) and it feels so good. I cum after about half an hour.
    This plus clitoral stimulation will make me cum in 10 minutes, tops.

    Reply
    • Shadowgirl says

      June 27, 2016 at 3:52 am

      Same! It feels so good!

      Reply
  37. Goody-girl says

    May 20, 2016 at 6:15 am

    Okay i am at my sisters house so what should i use she would be so fucking pissed if she found out that i was doing this

    Reply
    • female says

      October 7, 2018 at 11:54 am

      Use a hairbrush or toothbrushes.

      Reply
  38. Horneygirl69 says

    May 21, 2016 at 5:23 pm

    What if we don’t have any condoms? What’s a good substitute?

    Reply
    • Sean Jameson says

      June 2, 2016 at 8:41 pm

      There is no good substitute to condoms.

      Reply
  39. Aaliyah says

    May 21, 2016 at 9:51 pm

    I fucking love dildos ?????✏???????☝

    Reply
  40. dick holder says

    May 31, 2016 at 7:24 pm

    i started masturbating with a marker…and i didnt have a condom on it, will that cause infections??

    Reply
    • Sean Jameson says

      June 2, 2016 at 8:18 pm

      It’s impossible to tell. If you are worried, then talk to your doctor.

      Reply
    • erin says

      November 8, 2020 at 5:35 am

      did you end up getting an infection. I did the same with a carrot for the first time out of curiosity and didn’t think of things like washing and using a condom now i’m freaked out.

      Reply
  41. hornybitch says

    May 31, 2016 at 7:44 pm

    is it okay to mastrubate on your period? lol

    Reply
    • Sean Jameson says

      June 2, 2016 at 8:18 pm

      I don’t see why it would be a problem.

      Reply
    • Nope says

      June 21, 2016 at 5:17 am

      Yes. I would probably do it in a bath tub, or put a few towels down. I’ve even read that orgasming can help with symptoms such as cramps. But like I said, towels are a must

      Reply
  42. . says

    June 24, 2016 at 6:22 pm

    I can’t cum, what am I doing wrong?

    Reply
    • Sean Jameson says

      July 1, 2016 at 10:42 am

      Check out this guide.

      Reply
    • makenzie says

      February 7, 2018 at 9:36 pm

      get a hair brush that’s long enough to touch your g spot

      Reply
  43. Indie says

    July 4, 2016 at 2:40 pm

    I use my macrara tube. I cleaned it out and just use the outside. It feel soooo good! I cum in minutes!! Definitely put down a towel coz u cum so much!

    Reply
  44. LongDistance8 says

    July 28, 2016 at 6:15 am

    My bf and I are super long distance, him in Cali, and I’m in Indiana so I’m trying to find ways of masturbating the only one i found so far is humping my pillow and a hair brush handle (with a condom)
    Any suggestions????

    Reply
  45. jeflla says

    August 10, 2016 at 2:07 am

    OK so this site is for household itoms so a condom isint very household.
    So my question is. Can you use anyother household itoms as a condom cuz ill be honest the banana is a very good one but hey is it possible to use it without a condom (yes it includes cleeninig it ) .

    Reply
    • Katie Porter says

      August 14, 2016 at 11:53 pm

      Try the finger of a glove or maybe even a balloon.

      Reply
  46. Badjane says

    September 24, 2016 at 9:07 pm

    Dayyyyum, sounds kinda sexy

    Reply
    • anonymous says

      October 13, 2016 at 7:14 pm

      Pretty sure this is beastiality. And disgusting.

      Reply
      • Susannah says

        July 9, 2018 at 6:28 pm

        Well, I bet Kel would feel better with her dog’s tounge than your useless one, because you’re just a non-kinky idiot who should not only get a life, but should judge when you’ve done it. As they say, don’t hate it till you’ve tried it!

        Reply
  47. Ray says

    October 17, 2016 at 1:54 pm

    Wow. Love to see that one

    Reply
  48. Carla says

    October 28, 2016 at 3:10 am

    The end of lint rollers work really well as dildos by the way 😉

    Reply
    • MasochistBoi says

      July 31, 2018 at 5:45 am

      I tried that once but the edges of the handle were kinda sharp and I ended up cutting myself inside and bleeding. It felt pretty good tho~

      Reply
  49. Miyly says

    November 29, 2016 at 10:39 pm

    Thats hot

    Reply
    • anony says

      January 10, 2017 at 6:40 am

      well i agree, having a dog lick you first then just start fucking you, hmm, my kids do want a dog anyway, wonder if i could trick it to do that

      Reply
  50. Lol says

    December 10, 2016 at 9:15 am

    Lol! What if you got pregnant from it- it would be pretty bad

    Reply
    • Brook says

      July 15, 2017 at 8:19 pm

      I was thinking the same thing ????

      Reply
    • Anna says

      September 23, 2017 at 4:55 pm

      Dogs can not get you pregnant.

      Reply
    • Mia says

      October 25, 2017 at 3:47 pm

      You can’t get pregnant from another species.

      Reply
  51. Logan says

    December 11, 2016 at 9:48 am

    That kinda turned me on

    Reply
  52. Lexie says

    December 21, 2016 at 9:43 pm

    Try a back massager that vibrates, I like this one that you can adjust the speed

    Reply
  53. Kk says

    January 4, 2017 at 12:38 am

    Sharpies also work well for smaller girls and anal 🙂 if your vagina is larger than that use several sharpies. I use the regular sized , not the plus because those have bumpy edges and hurt!

    Reply
    • Freakymommy says

      May 31, 2017 at 9:02 pm

      I just had a baby in January and I used the king sized sharpies and it was amazing

      Reply
  54. Anon says

    January 23, 2017 at 10:53 am

    That sounds so hot it turned me on

    Reply
  55. Natasha says

    January 24, 2017 at 5:43 am

    Even a well lubed toothbrush handle can get you screaming for more.

    Reply
  56. Paige says

    February 4, 2017 at 3:15 am

    Can you use cooking oil

    Reply
    • Horny slut says

      April 6, 2017 at 11:51 pm

      Definitely not! Use coconut oil and Vaseline those work realy well .good luck

      Reply
    • Anonymous says

      January 27, 2018 at 1:56 pm

      Lotions that are fragrant free and suitable for sensitive skin are good.

      Reply
  57. lauren says

    February 28, 2017 at 10:31 am

    What if you don’t have any condoms lying around and you can’t exactly get condoms?

    Reply
    • Sean Jameson says

      March 3, 2017 at 3:33 pm

      Buy them 😉

      Reply
      • Curious says

        August 22, 2017 at 2:46 am

        But what if u are not able to buy them

        Reply
        • brian velasco says

          October 1, 2017 at 7:32 pm

          IM FROM MEXICO, I DONT KNOW IF IT IS THE SAME IN THE US, BUT HERE THEY GIVE OUT FREE CONDOMS AT THE PUBLIC CLINICS (GOVERNMENT PROVIDED) MAYBE U COULD TRY THAT, ANOTHER WAY IS TO ASK SOMEONE TO BUY THEM FOR U MAYBE A FRIEND, AND EVEN IF THAT IS NOT POSSIBLE, I SOMETIMES HAVE USED WHEN I HAD NO CONDOMS SOME PLASTIC BAGS HOPE THIS HELPS

          Reply
        • smfe says

          December 23, 2019 at 12:55 pm

          Anyone can buy condoms. Don’t act helpless and lazy. If your really such a wimp to go buy condoms just go to a Walmart and use a self checkout. Not that hard.

          Reply
  58. Harish says

    April 3, 2017 at 2:16 pm

    My wife now 42 has increased sexual desires now and at 49 i dont get proper hardness so i have started using cucumbers. We put condom over it and i hold it between my legs and she rides. She is enjoying it very much.

    Reply
    • Wendy Sacrey says

      November 15, 2018 at 7:16 pm

      Ok that is sweet!

      Reply
  59. Kaylor says

    April 5, 2017 at 4:39 am

    I’m 18, my pussy is soo tight nothing fits in it

    Reply
    • Georgia Librasi says

      May 19, 2017 at 7:54 am

      Try a pencil. Masturbation has gradual stages of dildo sizes. I had started from pencil then gradually moved towards pen, marker, finger, carrot, hairbrush handle, cucumber, banana (its tough to hold a thick and frozen one inside), umbrella handle, four fingers at a time, a fist, aubergine, corn, 12 inch thick deodorant bottle of Old Spice, and finally towards a cylindrical Bluetooth speaker of 18 inch (approx.) width.

      Reply
      • Snela says

        December 23, 2019 at 12:59 pm

        The vagina/anus can’t fit anything 18 inches WIDE into it without massive tearing and bleeding. The average is maximum is 6 inches. You may be talking about length but even so, 18 inches it a lot unless your pushing it past your cervix, which is very unhealthy.

        Reply
  60. Sex says

    May 7, 2017 at 1:31 am

    What bout a dog bone with a condom of course

    Reply
  61. Georgia Librasi says

    May 19, 2017 at 7:46 am

    THE BEST TIP SO FAR –

    1) Take a carrot. Soak it in a warm water for 5 minutes or you can microwave it for a minute while it’s immersed in a bowl of water. It becomes so soft and spongy and feels exactly like a REAL PENIS.
    2) You can do the same with Cucumber, Aubergine/Egg Plant, and Corn
    3) I personally prefer thickness and not length during anal as after the length of 5 inch it starts going into my lower intestines which makes the stuff messy.
    4) You may carry a baby umbrella with you and use it whenever you want.
    5) For around 12 inches of girth/thickness, I find female Deodorant bottles as best ones.

    Note: Anal Sex can be done for 4-5 hours without getting enough of it.

    Reply
  62. Taylor says

    June 20, 2017 at 10:36 am

    Damn how’d it feel did you like it were you moaning?

    Reply
  63. Al says

    July 16, 2017 at 7:20 am

    U can use a plastic sandwich bag instead of a condom

    Reply
  64. Stacy says

    July 22, 2017 at 2:53 am

    Lol humans are animals

    Reply
  65. Megan says

    July 24, 2017 at 4:04 am

    That just made me horney af

    Reply
  66. anon says

    August 11, 2017 at 7:47 pm

    woah that sounds good rly good, i’ve really been horny lately i wonder if my male dog would do he same thing. maybe i’ll give it a try

    Reply
    • wnwb says

      December 23, 2019 at 12:46 pm

      Any woman that has her dog do innopropiate things with her should be ashamed. If a male said he fucked his female dog/had his dog lick/suck him, you’d be disgusted. Don’t make it a double standard because it’s disgusting for ANYONE to have sexual interactions with an animal, animals CAN NOT CONSENT. You do not know he likes it, and someone said “I wonder if I can trick him into doing it” WHAT you just plainly admitted that you dog does not want to and you want to trick him into doing it, that is literally rape.

      Reply
  67. Fish420 says

    August 15, 2017 at 8:08 pm

    Agreed

    Reply
  68. White girl says

    August 18, 2017 at 6:47 pm

    I was taking a bath the other day and I used my razor. Omg it felt so good????

    Reply
  69. Ryder says

    August 25, 2017 at 9:44 pm

    I’ve used a selfie stick (with a condom on obvs), it’s long enough and you can make a video of all the action and watch it later 😉 I also love to use my shower gel tube every day when I’m in the shower. I fuck myself til the hot water runs out…

    Reply
  70. Sammy says

    August 29, 2017 at 10:43 am

    I just used a weed pipe and a blunt tube (inside a condom) and it was amazing. The tube was in my anal and the pipe (which has a small extra bubble bump on the side of it) was in my vigina at the same time and it blew my mind. ????????

    Reply
  71. Kari says

    September 1, 2017 at 6:52 am

    Used a new vibrating toothbrush on my clit. Orgasm in minutes !

    Reply
    • Lynn says

      November 7, 2017 at 7:52 am

      Try the one thing they have out for your feet to take calouse off some of them come with a soft bristle rotating brush turn it on and use that brush on the clit OMG AMAZING

      Reply
  72. Danny says

    September 1, 2017 at 8:19 pm

    I used a drummer stick and the plastic peice of a tampon

    Reply
  73. good sensations master says

    October 15, 2017 at 3:34 pm

    i find a bunch of pens work the best

    Reply
  74. oh hey says

    October 16, 2017 at 10:03 pm

    I can’t wait to try these!! I’m so fcking horny right now! oh my god

    Reply
  75. Rosy says

    October 29, 2017 at 2:29 am

    Just tryed a shampoo bottle (with a condom ) felt so awesome I cumed the first time I did it. Cannot get enough so fucking horny

    Reply
  76. Annie says

    November 26, 2017 at 12:41 pm

    Sameee please please help. All my friends try and give me advice but I just can’t get off.

    Reply
    • Sean Jameson says

      November 27, 2017 at 11:10 am

      Try reading the Orgasm Guide Annie 😉

      Reply
  77. Unisha says

    December 24, 2017 at 7:05 am

    My sex is so high…
    I want to have sex but i dont have bf anx i m not yet married.
    I dont have any condom.
    What should i use now to have sex or fuck.

    Reply
  78. Anon says

    January 15, 2018 at 8:58 am

    Does a latex glove work if I don’t have the ability to get a condom? Or a ziploc bag?

    Reply
  79. samantha says

    January 23, 2018 at 2:01 pm

    i have a few questions…..
    first, how can i masturbate and take long to cum cause in most cases when i do, i cum within 5 minutes and i end up not enjoying anything.
    second, what is the right position for masturbating.
    third, is there a way to make a rubber dick while at home, cause am kinda fed up of still objects?
    forth, and last for now, how do i do it right? i may sound stupid but i need help

    Reply
    • Sean Jameson says

      January 29, 2018 at 10:36 am

      Want to last longer? Try using less pressure and going a lot slower.

      There is no “right” position for masturbating.

      There may be a way to make a rubber dick, but it’s probably easier to just buy one.

      Just like there is no “right” masturbating position, there is no “right” way to do it. However, the guide to using your dildo should give you some ideas.

      Reply
  80. AliceY says

    February 18, 2018 at 2:54 am

    What can I use besides fruit and a condom? I have a little niece and nephew and they get in my closet a lot and I don’t want them to see dildos and stuff so what can I use

    Reply
  81. Luv2fuck says

    March 6, 2018 at 10:27 pm

    This shit got my pussy pounding. Sucks bc my husband is locked up, and he always knew how to fuck my pussy, until I did gush everywhere. He also knows how too eat pussy!! Just thinking about it has my pussy pounding!!

    Reply
  82. Sexydevil says

    March 19, 2018 at 6:10 pm

    Can u put a makeup brush in a glove and use that as a condom

    Reply
  83. Sammy says

    March 22, 2018 at 2:32 am

    Im a boy and have a query does any of the girls like pegging?

    Reply
  84. Amy says

    March 27, 2018 at 11:43 pm

    Just wondering how I can squirt , i cum quick but I can never get myself to squirt , is there soemthing I’m doing wrong ?

    Reply
    • Sean Jameson says

      April 2, 2018 at 4:00 pm

      The squirting guide should help!

      Reply
      • Kh says

        July 3, 2020 at 2:47 pm

        I used a buble wand throughout my teen years. Without bubble solution.

        Reply
  85. horny girl says

    April 26, 2018 at 3:27 am

    a curling iron feels amazing.

    Reply
  86. Monique heygo says

    April 28, 2018 at 4:15 am

    If I use a toothbrush as a dildo, do I need a condom on it? Also, my man read these pussy eating articles and he’s an angle now never had such big squirts ????????

    Reply
  87. Dork says

    May 10, 2018 at 9:41 pm

    Have any of you girls ever been fisted so deep that a man can use you for ventriloquism?

    Reply
  88. Dicktwat69 says

    May 12, 2018 at 7:32 am

    My boyfriend does crazy butt things with me but he don’t like my vagina what should I use

    Reply
  89. Sad potato says

    May 22, 2018 at 2:09 am

    I don’t think I’ll ever be able to cum. It’s my goal in life to cum during masturbation, but my clit is too sensitive to be stimulated, my hands get tired easily, and I don’t own a condom to make any of these things work for me.

    Reply
    • Anneliese says

      June 14, 2018 at 7:29 am

      Try just rubbing around the clit and just use one of the items on the list but wash it first.

      Reply
    • Unknownuser says

      December 31, 2023 at 1:04 am

      I understand what ur talking about cuz it’s that same for me if ur clit is Too sensitive try touching ur clitoral hood it feels good and will make u cum fast and for ur pussy use the handle of ur makeup brush clean it up well with some and hot water then use it it works really well , do those 2 things combined and u’ll cum in 2 minutes

      Reply
  90. Ananomus says

    June 13, 2018 at 10:26 pm

    Every time I masturbate I feel so good but I can never orgasm. I don’t understand why, I just stop and it is hard to orgasm.

    Reply
    • Sean Jameson says

      June 19, 2018 at 8:02 am

      The Orgasm Guide should help.

      Reply
  91. Susannah says

    July 9, 2018 at 6:39 pm

    I have a problem… I masturbate for hours on end till my vagina is sore and no matter what article I read on how to achieve an orgasm, nothing I do makes me climax… I’ve tried almost every fetish and yet, I can never cum and feel content. What should I do?

    Reply
    • Sean Jameson says

      July 16, 2018 at 8:55 am

      Try reading the Orgasm Guide.

      Reply
  92. Gia says

    July 22, 2018 at 9:50 am

    Canister vacuum cleaner hose handle end! Straddling the hose ridges pure bliss.
    Polish Kielbasa with condom on it.

    Reply
  93. Just someone says

    October 9, 2018 at 8:15 pm

    Im still pretty new to all this so I need some answers
    First whats the difference between cumming and squirting
    Second I’m just too scared to stick my fingers up my vagina because it hurts so bad what should I do??????
    And third what does cum even look like mad how do I know I’m doing it
    UHF I sound so stupid please nobody judge me

    Reply
    • Rick says

      December 6, 2018 at 3:11 am

      Squirting is something that just happens to some people while they cum, its pretty ambiguous if the liquid is piss or something else but it’s pretty much contractions where they cant hold it in while experiancing an orgasm. If you cum you pretty much know you did, If you still dont know check your nipples they should have softened. Every womans cum is different. Some have really opaque cum while others cum clear. Hope this helped

      Reply
  94. Helping hand says

    November 6, 2018 at 7:12 pm

    Another good item is a foundashion brush handle or one of those big blending brushes

    Reply
    • Pokemon says

      December 6, 2018 at 3:13 am

      If your talking beauty stuff the microdermabrasion things work wonders as well

      Reply
  95. Erica says

    January 11, 2019 at 5:29 pm

    Nothing seems to stretch my ass out I wanna be able to fit a bottle or something huge in it but nothing works

    Reply
  96. lucy says

    January 13, 2019 at 7:32 am

    i love the banana in my wet pussy whilst i watch porn after a long hard day at work

    Reply
    • Sean Jameson says

      January 14, 2019 at 10:40 am

      Make sure to cover it with a condom!

      Reply
  97. Blake says

    January 19, 2019 at 7:28 pm

    I used an escrima stick and that went got me to cum in minutes from anal play

    Reply
  98. cute says

    February 11, 2019 at 9:33 am

    Cylindrical big can….whoa,feeling like heaven???libi?…..

    Reply
  99. Jess says

    March 16, 2019 at 4:16 am

    I have used the handle of a spatula too! It worked very well.

    Reply
  100. leecroix says

    May 24, 2019 at 7:36 am

    Will the handle of a brush be big enough to “tear” my hymen?

    Reply
    • Sean Jameson says

      May 27, 2019 at 11:41 am

      It depends on the size of the handle

      Reply
  101. This is not Sophie says

    May 27, 2019 at 11:39 am

    You should really try the Alaskan Pipeline method.

    Here’s what you need to do:

    1) On the first day, eat a large breakfast, lunch and dinner.

    2) On the second day, resist the urge to poop with all your might while eating normally.

    3) On the third day, grab your nearest condom, squat down and evacuate the contents of your bowls into the condom.

    4) Tie a knot in the end of the condom, wash the outside of it and gently mould the contents of your condom into the desired shape.

    5) Place your condom into the freezer and wait 6 hours.

    6) You now have a chilly homemade dildo that will make you the envy of all your friends.

    Have fun and be safe friends,

    Totally not Sophie

    Reply
  102. Bill says

    November 18, 2019 at 2:20 pm

    Attach your dildo to the curved end of a cane with duct or electrical tape to control anal masturbation easier.

    Reply
  103. #hornyAF says

    April 24, 2020 at 10:53 am

    Damn, these comments are making me horny AF!!! Am I the only one???

    Reply
  104. Kylie says

    May 11, 2020 at 7:37 pm

    I am only 12 but i am always horny so i try to find shit to use as dildos. But because of my age i dont have condoms and shit so i unwrap a banana and wrap it in plastic wrap and i love it so much!

    Reply
  105. Sukanya says

    December 28, 2020 at 5:22 pm

    I’m a girl of 23 years. I live with a girl roomate in a chawl in mumbai on rent. We both have 2 broken pan handle for our pussy. And 2 thick (O=–) shaped screw driver handle with that steel part we broke. So its just that plastic handle with those friction rubber grip on top. Pan handle is not enjoyable for anal. I prefer something round and thick for anal. We make sure our dildo don’t get mismatch since they are of abit different shape and colour.

    Reply
  106. dazedaquarius says

    January 22, 2021 at 9:30 pm

    Jesus. My vibrator died reading through some of this.

    Reply
  107. Sam says

    May 19, 2021 at 1:14 pm

    Fuck me I wish I wasn’t in work i’m so horny right now after reading all that

    Reply
  108. HornyQueenElizabeth says

    June 13, 2021 at 10:59 pm

    Fold your most firm pillow in half. You can ride it or lay on your back and w one hand push the pillow between your legs rubbing your pussy on pillow with the other hand just exploring = CUMLOAD

    Reply
  109. Your beautiful. And Freaky get it mama says

    July 17, 2021 at 12:15 pm

    Honestly. I’m 23 years old, & I am “chosey” of My Partners, I got one gentlemen whom i can call for pleasure or whatever whenever,but blahblah I tend To be home alone wich i prefer so i get a mirror and put it by my bed and look at my body and jump in the bath shave, wash, clean, lotion. Oil. And maybe if im feeling sexy as usual..
    strip down To my thong 🙊 sit back andgrab my condoms and slip on an Electric tooth brush also a toothbrush holder shaped like a small sized dildo with a condom…whilst i spread my Vagina Lips up towards my Clitoris as i gently rub the Clit with my vibration object and slowly watch and work the Homemade Dildo into my Vagina Half way or not all the way penetrated in my Vagina but just enough To tease her and slip off your panties and keep the High heels if u feel. 😉 but look in the mirror and admire the beauty of you as you rub and appreciate every inch of body until you do a 360 and realize who the Fuck you are. Sexy. As. Fuck.

    Reply
  110. DollFace says

    August 28, 2021 at 9:48 pm

    you girls are making me so wet 😩

    Reply
  111. HornyGirl100 says

    June 3, 2022 at 12:03 am

    The hairbruh made me sqirt in minutes!

    Reply
  112. laqueesha says

    August 30, 2022 at 11:32 pm

    I went to the hospital cause I shoved a can of Febreeze in my ass and the lever moved down and sprayed a ton of chemicals in there and got infected

    Reply
  113. Malissa says

    November 29, 2022 at 4:39 am

    Y’all are some freaky a$$ people lol. Corn? Pringle cans? Wine bottles?!?! Damn! How does that not stretch you out especially if you do it consistently? Not to mention how does it not cause immense trauma to your anus or vagina? I mean I get building up to that size but starting with a whine bottle right off the bat? Ouch. It makes my puss tighten just thinking about something that large going in me. Don’t get me wrong big sock is great and I love a nice thick large and I’m charge cock but not the size of a Pringle can or wine bottle. Y’all can keep that kink lol. As for veggies, I prefer my toys to be made of silicon and have batteries. Veggies don’t do that. But above all, I LOVE fucking my boyfriend now and just penises attached to people in the past lol. I crave that animalistic moaning, skin on skin, the smell of said persons skin/body, hands all over bodies, spanking, scratching, biting, screaming, shaking and every other amazing thing that comes with a really fucking amazing person who happens to also have an amazing cock lol. Good luck ladies and gents on here. Hope you find someone you want to fuck more than a vegetable.

    Reply
  114. Suomy Nona says

    March 29, 2023 at 10:24 pm

    Foam pool noodle- cut to desired length (or not). If only can find a really wide one, slit one side lengthwise, then kind of roll it into itself. Secure with plastic wrap, and of course, a condom or two.

    Reply
  115. Nikidak says

    May 16, 2023 at 11:37 am

    I find it so much fun to find things to use in other peoples houses I ofc clean it before and after using it but the thrill of knowing someone’s hairbrush, toothbrush, mouthwash bottle, makeup brush, makeup, razor handle etc was inside my pussy or asshole is exhilarating my parents were total assholes so when they weren’t home I would search the whole house for random things to fuck my tight little pussy with and it was so fun just having the secret I started doing it at friends houses and at school I cum so hard all over whatever thing I stole to shove deep inside one time I used my moms bubble curling wand and fucked myself for hours on my parents bed I kept making myself squirt over and over until I couldn’t anymore and I told them the dog peed on the bed they have a bed frame with ridges and bumps all along the head and footboards and omfg that has to be my favorite thing to straddle and rub my clit and pussy lips all over

    Reply
  116. Nichi says

    September 7, 2024 at 6:39 pm

    Baseball Bat is pretty good

    Reply
  117. Anna says

    January 14, 2025 at 6:00 am

    I have used a long thin flashlight for anal and watched it light my insides up

    Reply

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