In this episode of the Bad Girls Bible podcast, I talk to swinger Cooper S. Beckett from the Life in the Swingset podcast. Cooper explains in detail what swinging is, the steps a couple can take to safely explore it, how it can help your relationship (or hinder it!) and more.
In This Episode You’ll Learn…
1.25 – How he got into the swinging scene.
4.55 – Why monogamy, NOT SWINGING is the right choice for many people.
6.05 – The traditional definition of swinging
6.50 – What polyamory and why it’s different.
8.15 – Why swinging and polyamory is definitely not cheating
9.45 – The problem with life’s unspoken “social contract.”
10.35 – How to start talking to your partner about swinging in a smooth way.
18.10 – Why non-monogamy has improved Cooper’s communication skills.
18.35 – How to start your swinging journey with your partner and make sure it’s a great experience, and why some couples have a bad first experience.
21.55 – Tips on how to spot and avoid fakers when using swinging sites
23.30 – How to make your first swinger date easy going and successfull.
25.10 – What to do if one partner has reservations.
28.40 – Dealing with jealousy.
33.55 – What to do if swinging doesn’t work for you
43.55 – One of the most important benefits of non-monogamy
Extra Stuff
Resources, extended show notes and Cooper’s contact details can be accessed by clicking here.
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Tracy says
February 16, 2017 at 3:09 amMy boyfriend likes swinging and is bi sexual and has fedish toes, urine, etc. It is not me and left the relationship. I happy and he is angry. How do I make him go a way.
Kaleopono says
October 8, 2017 at 6:05 pmIt’s October 8, 2017, and I assume you have resolved the issue by now. Since this is a public blog and others may have the same question as you did, my comment may save them time and consternation. The young man who is angry appears from what you say to have a variety of mental characteristics that are not “normal” (to visualize, behavior falling in the vicinity of the middle bulge in a classic statistical bell curve graphic). The conditions under which he grew up were psychologically and emotionally “weird” so he had no experience of an accepting and nurturing environment such as I’m pretty sure you come from (I think that is what brought up the feeling deep within that continuing in the relationship was not right for you). It is absolutely correct for you to assert your personhood and human rights as you gain life experience. As we age we are given and ought to carry more responsibility for the cultural survival of our human society. You might say it is necessary to carry out and willingly fulfill the cultural role of “making everything happen”…in Hawaiian, the personal character idea is ka alaka’i, the educator-guide-leader-director out in the day-to-day hustle and bustle who attends to making all things work smoothly and reliably in support of maintaining the health and welfare of ALL members of the community. Without na alaka’i (plural) taking on this conscious middle age task of citizenship, the bedrock supporting the cultural vitality and viability of the population inevitably disintegrates. We see abundant evidence of this all around. Institutionalizing economic, social, political, etc. principles and management practices that produce benefit for everyone can/will assure eventual capacity to provide at least the minimum resources to sustain life on Earth in perpetuity; the capitalist system of greed, power and control, egoistic personal motivations and goals, undeserved pridefulness…the list can go on and on. The Hawaiian way of aloha and malamalama is the only way that can save us. Getting off the soapbox and back to your question “How do I make him go away?”: there are laws about harassment and stalking behavior that you may have to enlist on your behalf. Talk to an alternatives to violence (ATV) counselor to learn where you fit amidst the varied rules, depending on your particular circumstances. In extreme cases seeking a restraining order in the court system could be necessary.