This discreet newsletter will teach you how to make him cum hard, give freaky oral sex & make him scream your name in bed. Click here to get it.
“Rub it like this.”
“You need to stretch first.”
Side note: If you currently struggle to orgasm, then you may want to learn about the Easy Orgasm Solution. It will teach you how to orgasm easily and reliably. It works even if you find it challenging to orgasm during sex or when masturbating. You can find out more here.
“It’s because you don’t drink enough orange juice!”
You can find a lot of weird, funky advice on the internet when searching for ways to have stronger, more powerful orgasms. Some is good, most is terrible.
We don’t write about old wives tales here at The Bad Girls Bible. Just simple and powerful sex tips. Below are 8 ways for you to have more powerful orgasms, more often:
1. Learn To Relax
Learning to relax is by far the most important sex tip I can give you if you are serious about reaching your sexual potential.
But it’s not as easy as telling you to ‘just relax’.
Squirting: Any woman can experience the intense pleasure of squirting, if you follow the right process. I demonstrate the most powerful squirting techniques and explain the process, step-by-step in the Squirting Magic Guide.
Often you’ll find that the more you try to relax, the harder it is to actually relax!
When you are with your guy, you may be feeling that you have to have an orgasm with him. Instead of trying to just enjoy yourself and just going-with-the-flow, you might be focusing all your energy on trying to climax.
This isn’t necessarily a bad thing.
But what if you could just feel it slowly coming on, where almost nothing you could do could stop it? And then you just erupt in orgasmic bliss?
Many students that I have spoken to find these types of orgasms to be a lot more satisfying.
So how can you ‘learn to relax’?
Experience is the best teacher for learning to relax.
A great way to learn to relax and get comfortable with yourself is through masturbation.
He will lust for you: It's easy to make a man desire you and turn him on, when you use the right kind of dirty talk. If you'd like to learn how, then you may want to check out the Wild Dirty Talk Guide. Inside, you'll learn how to confidently talk dirty along with the lines and phrases that work best for making him deeply desire you.
Start by masturbating alone in a private place where you feel comfortable. Your bedroom is usually a good start. From here you want to graduate to relaxing with your man either while masturbating yourself in front of him or during sex/foreplay.
For more help and information on getting comfortable with your body and relaxing, make sure to check out these articles:
2. Use Quality Sex Toys
Sex toys are like steroids….but for sex.
They take good sex and make it great.
But unlike steroids, using sex toys is not cheating!
Possibly useful: If you want to give your man (& yourself) back-arching, toe-curling, screaming orgasms that will keep him sexually addicted to you, then you'll find them in my private and discreet newsletter. You'll also learn the 5 dangerous & "dumb" sex mistakes that turn him off and how to avoid them. Get it here.
So what types of sex toys should I use to have more and stronger orgasms?
Vibrators are the obvious choice. But before rushing out to buy a vibrator, some words of warning.
Cheap vibrators only run on one setting: Super-High-Power!
These vibrators are often too strong to have enjoyable orgasms. Many people even report that they end up making them feel sort of numb after using them for only a minute or 2.
It’s a much better idea to invest in a slighty more expensive vibrator that offers multiple speeds and settings.
However, you’ll find that it’s worth your time investigating other sex toys too. Many report that using a butt plug during intercourse heightens the entire experience for them. While other report that using other toys during sex like restraints, nipple clamps or even wearing a mouth gag give them similar experiences.
And don’t forget about using some lube!
Check out the how to use a vibrator article for more tips on using a vibrator properly.
But like with all the sex tips in The Bad Girls Bible, the key is to do some experimentation to find out what YOU like and what works for you.
Please feel free to share what works for you with the rest of the Bad Girls Bible community in the comments section at the end of this article.
3. The Longer The Build Up, The Better!
Quickies are great.
Quick Warning: While this instructional video is quite distressing, it will teach you how to make your lover cry with orgasmic pleasure and become sexually addicted to you. If you are interested in having someone completely obsessed with you and only you, then check out the detailed (& explicit!) oral sex tutorial video here.
They can be hot and oh-so-naughty!
But if you want to have strong orgasms, a long slow build up is much, much better.
So how slow should I be?
It can literally be all day long!
It could start in the morning, with some flirty texts between you and your man. Then in the evening you could go for a nice romantic meal together.
After the meal, when you return home, you should draw out foreplay for at least an hour, then slowly graduate to having sex. Not one-minute-rabbit-sex, but nice and slow sex.
The purpose is to slowly build you up towards orgasm.
Quick Quiz: Do You Give Good Blow Jobs?
If you are new here, then you may want to take the quiz below to learn how good you are at giving oral sex and satisfying your man. You may discover you that you suck (pun intended) or that you are already a blow job queen.
You’ll find that this slow build up will make it far easier for you to orgasm. As well as finding it easier to orgasm, you’ll also find it easier to have multiple orgasms using a slow build up.
If you want to learn some great ways to build sexual tension, especially through talking dirty to your man, then you should check out the advice I give in this dirty talking tutorial video.
4. Teasing Foreplay
This sex tip is actually something your man should read.
Or at least try to relay this information to him.
Sometimes it’s nice when your man is aggressive and wants to turn you on as fast as possible….The problem is that most men seem to think that this is the only type of foreplay.
The other type of foreplay that he should try using is what I like to call ‘Teasing Foreplay’.
The goal of Teasing Foreplay is to turn you on slowly and to tease you with sexual gratification.
A constant question: I consistently get emails asking how to orgasm more easily & often during sex. I usually recommend this 3 step system that makes it a lot easier (& fun!). You can also see people's reactions to it here 😉
The premise of teasing foreplay is this:
When he can tell that you are really enjoying something and getting closer to orgasm, he needs to start doing something else.
Some people call this the ‘2 Steps Forward, 1 Step Back Approach’.
Here are some examples:
- When he can tell that you are getting closer to a climax as he is eating you out, he should stop and instead start to slowly caress your thighs with his hands and mouth.
- Then as you start to really get off to it, he should switch things up again to something like focusing on your breasts and neck.
- As he can see you getting heated up from that, he can then finally return to your vagina for some attention from his hands.
- And then right before he brings you to climax, you can both start having sex.
The key for your man is to constantly bring you the edge, before backing off. 2 Steps Forward, 1 Step Backwards. And then afterwards, doing it all over again.
When he does eventually bring you over the edge, you are going to have a super powerful orgasm!
5. Discover Your Fantasies, Kinks & Festishes
So many girls and guys go through life feeling ashamed of the very things that turn them on!
This makes me sad 🙁
You might feel that your kinks, desires and fetishes are not normal and that you’re the only one who has them. Reading the Reader’s Fantasy section of The Bad Girls Bible, you’ll quickly notice that you’re not alone.
Everybody has them.
The sooner that you realise they are normal and nothing to be ashamed about, the sooner you will be relaxed about having them.
Don’t forget
More Relaxed = Stronger Orgasms
You may not want to share them with anyone else (which is perfectly normal), but coming to terms with the fact that they are normal is important if you want enjoyable, guilt-free orgasms.
6. Find What Positions Work For You
So, a lot of the advice I have given you so far may seem kind of ‘theorethical’. And I’ve talked a lot about what to do before sex to have stronger orgasms.
What about something more during sex for stronger, more powerful orgasms?
No problem!
It’s why I created the Sex Positions Guide.
Inside, you’ll find every major sex position you could think of and more!
7. Find Your Rhythm
Finding great sex positions that ‘hit the spot’ is great.
Just as important is finding a rhythm that you enjoy and letting your man know about it.
- You might like it when he takes it nice and slow.
- You might like it when he fast like rabbit!
- Or maybe you enjoy a combination of both.
What’s important is communicating this to your man.
Rather than sitting him down with a pen and paper or showing him a spreadsheet & pie charts (joke!) of what you like, there’s a much easier way of letting him know what you enjoy and what gets you off.
Just say it during sex.
Just like that.
Harder.
Faster!
Slower
Deeper!
It’s that easy.
And 99.9% of men will happily comply!
Then when he is in a good rhythm, make sure to praise him!
Just like that.
Keep going.
Don’t stop.
8. Sensory Deprivation
Have you ever had sex in a really bright room, with the lights on, with a guy you like, but it was your first time together?
Many people find that sex with the light on doesn’t allow them to fully relax and enjoy themselves. But with the light off, they feel more comfortable and relaxed.
An interesting way to take this concept a little further is to try having sex with a blindfold on. When everything is pitch black and you are unable to see, you need to rely on your other senses to orientate you. Many find this both highly arousing and relaxing at the same time.
An interesting way to take this concept further is to try using ear plugs as well.
So there you have it, 8 easy-to-use tips on how to have stronger and more enjoyable orgasms. If you have any tips of your own that haven’t been mentioned here, please leave them in a comments section below.
If you enjoyed this article on giving your man intense pleasure, but would like to learn more about giving your man a powerful blow job, then you will learn everything you need to know in this instructional video. Click here to check it out now. Enjoy!
Hey there
Every once in a while while iam making love to my boyfriend,i get the sudden urge to pee.He told me that it’s my bodies way of letting me know that Iam about to squirt but Ive never experienced it.please let me know how get this feeling to a different stage(where i am sble to squirt)
Hi Lucy,
Thanks for your question. I will try to answer it in detail in one of the upcoming Q&A posts on the blog.
Until then, here is the short answer. Your boyfriend is correct about it being your body’s way of letting you know you are about to squirt. It’s caused by your Skene’s gland swelling and filling with fluid. It’s a totally natural feeling, many girls experience it when reaching orgasm.
Why?
The Skene’s gland is located right beside your bladder and puts pressure on it as it swells.
Sean
May I also add that many women are holding the squirt back, because they are afraid they’re going to pee.
In fact, it’s impossible for women to pee when having an orgasm…
By the way, great article Sean!
I love the “2 steps foreward, 1 step back” technique. It works great with women.
Tom
Ok I have this debate… this only happens when I’m on top… but if I pee before it doesn’t happen! So I don’t believe “you can’t pee” dieting sex.
may I say it’s not impossible. to pee. . probably in most cases. but there are some cases where u can.
I also love to be teased. It heightens everything and makes me want him so damn bad!
Google squirting. Read the blogs. If you show your man how he can make you squirt with his fingers. Have him press his hand just above the pubic bone while inserting two fingers “palm up” inside you. Have him tilt his fingers up a little and pump in n out. You may feel like peeing a lil but kind of feels like a build up, pressure. Have him keep going unless it hurts then have him ease up a bit. When u start to squirt have him pull out just long enough to release some of it and then keep going. It’s the best damn feeling in the world. I didn’t know I could till 2 months ago and I’m 34. 🙂 crave it now everyday!
LOL, I’m 45 in a couple of months and have only just ‘sqirted’ ……confused now, was that no my first orgasam?
Hi Andrea,
There is more than one type of orgasm. Previously you may have only been having clitoral orgasms, while for most people a squirting orgasm is a result of having a vaginal orgasm. With that in mind, some people can squirt without actually reaching orgasm.
Sean
Hi, I’m 56. And just experienced squirting. I love it and so does my partner.
That is so true. I experience it every chance i can when my husband is in the mood! ! . . .
I always held it back when I got that peeing urge, but after getting a new boyfriend who makes it impossible to hold anything back, I squirted for the first time and had the best orgasm of my life!! I wa embarrassed at first but after he told me what he thinks about it, I wish I could do it everytime, multiple times.
To do it, when you feel that urge, instead of sucking it in, push hard with your vaginal muscles and it will flow. Give it a try!
So when i feel the sensation and or urge to pee, i should push hard with my vagina almost as if im struggling to pee? Am i understanding correctly? Want to surprise my man tonight and try and squirt for him.
Yes, that’s it
Squirting is more… Involuntary. Atleast for me it is. It just happens, it just comes. I don’t have to pee before it. It just happens.
Same here Kaela… and I gush even when we kiss, with the right lover. I’m glad to read your comment… was beginning to feel a little too intense.
I often have the same problem,but i nvr actually do. Once i did but my boyfriend thought i peed. u can imagine tht was awkward trying to explain to him what it was. Anyways i think maybe u need to relax and it feels like pee and u don’t want to pee on him ur holding it ,maybe letting it go and relaxing could help!!
That is your body definitely expressing it needs to release and you need to be open to experiencing this type of orgasm. He will love that he gets you off so good you need to squirt. It is a clear liquid so I would not even worry! Just allow yourself to have the best sex!
My boyfriend likes to have sex in the morning before he goes to work. But, he has trouble cuming in the morning. He wants sex, when we start he gets hard and pre cum starts to come out but when we start having sex, vaginal or anal, he says he isn’t going to cum and stops. I’ve given him a blow job after he has said that he isn’t going to cum and I’ve gotten him to cum, but it’s not much. Can you give me some advice on what to do to help him
Hi Elizabeth,
You’ll find that some guys have more trouble reaching orgasm than others. It’s natural and nothing to do with you. There are a few things that will help your man. One is stopping masturbating for a few weeks. After 2-3 weeks without ejaculation, he will find it much easier. Another thing is making sure not to put any pressure on him to ejaculate. I hope this helps,
Sean
Also, he may not be drinking enough throughout the day. A lot of us have this problem.
Hope this helped.
So I have squirted before with a previous partner… unfortunately I haven’t had the same luck with my new partner…. I’m just wondering would it make him feel less of a man if I either showed him how to make me squirt or asked him to learn?
“would it make him feel less of a man if I either showed him how to make me squirt or asked him to learn?”
Most likely, your man will be thrilled to learn how to make you squirt, but a small amount of guys may feel a little emasculated by being shown how to please.
How you show him is crucial. The key is to frame it in a positive way. Try telling him that you love it when he does certain things (the things that make you squirt).
I have never squirted, as a matter of fact when I have an orgasm there is not much physical ‘evidence’. Is is possible to increase the amount of fluids released during an orgasm or is every woman just very different. Can all women experience female ejaculation?
Hi Denise,
Thanks for your question. I believe that when it comes to female ejaculation, everyone is different. Some can do it with ease, while others will find it much more difficult or almost impossible. If you want to increase the amount of fluid that you release during orgasm, then you need to make sure you do things:
1) Drink a lot of fluid in the hours beforehand.
2) Bring yourself to orgasm in a way that is incredibly intense. For some this involves a long build up. For others this involves engaging in a fantasy or specific act that they find incredibly arousing.
Sean
I’m always self conscious about what I my cum tastes like. Do you have any suggestions about what I should eat or drink to make it more pleasurable for my partner to go down on me?
Hi Katie,
I always advise eating pineapple about 2 hours beforehand. Avoid asparagus, artichokes and anything fatty.
Sean
So ive been curious to know how i can quirt. My fiance loves when i do but its not very often. Im looking for some advice on how to gush. Like literally soak him and the bed. Any advice?
Hi Raevynn,
Most people can squirt, but to different extents. What I would advise is masturbating by yourself and finding out what techniques and things make you squirt the most and then letting your man know about these things.
Sean
I understand how a partner fingering you while pressing above your pelvic bone can make you squirt, but how can i achieve squirting by myself?
Hi Sean,
Thank you so much for your advice and tips on how to make your man happy and satisfied in bed ,all of the tips you said ,I apply it with my boyfriend ! He love it and even ask me were did I learn all those position and technique ,I just say its my secret hehe ! Anyway thank you so much again and still expecting more tips from you ! Love to know more from you ,till next ….take care……. SHERLEN
Hi Sherlen,
Thank you for your kind words!
Sean
Hi Sean,
Don’t know whether you can answer this or not, but I might as well ask. I’ve been having sex for 15 years and have never had an orgasm (I don’t think). Can’t even give myself one. I have tried everything, and I get right there, but I can’t “release”. Any advice?
Hi Jane,
This is a very difficult question to answer as every situation is specific to the individual. The easiest way to learn how to orgasm is on your own, when there is no one else around. Start with this AND make sure to take your time. Then try using some of these tips in the masturbation, cumming and orgasm articles.
Hi Sean I was wondering if its normal for a guy to jus go soft in the middle of performing I feel like his sex is great but mine isn’t so much it jus made me feel like I was doing something wrong or its jus not good anymore
hi
i dont think i have ever had an orgasm with a man while having intercourse and i..i was wondering if im doing something wrong..i have felt it building but never had a powerful one..i was wondering if you could give me some advice on how to achieve one..thank you
Hi Frances,
The best advice that I can give you is to get in touch with yourself through masturbation to see what you enjoy and what gets you off the most. Also consider trying positions like the Coital Alignment Technique for more clitoral stimulation.
I never have an orgasm i feel something is missing when my husband and I have sex
I try everything and nothing 🙁
Hi Grace,
I’m sorry to hear that. You should check out the Coital Alignment Technique as it will give you a lot more clitoral stimulation than usual during sex. But also try figure out what other positions and things during sex turn you on the most and actively do these things.
Sean
Fantasize.
Well let me say this practice practice practice either by yourself or with your husband it will happen naturally. I can make myself squirt several times and when it comes that time when I’m with my husband my orgasm is a much more intense that I have ever imagined.
hi jameson am dating on line with aguy who is showing alot of interest but at times his communication is soooo low at times acts like not interested but wen am letting go he comes back wat can i really do 2 make him want 2 talk 2 mi all day. i thnk God i met this site
Hi Minal,
Sounds like more of a relationship problem. Unfortunately I don’t cover this with the Bad Girls Bible.
Best,
Sean
My boyfriend has never had orgasm during oral sex and he is 34 yrs old. How can I help him?
Hi Rolanda,
Thank you for your question. There are a lot of different ways that you can help him with this. The first thing thing to understand is that that if he has never had an orgasm during oral sex then it might be because he prefers other kinds of sex to oral sex. The other reason could be due to something called ‘death grip’. This happens when men masturbate too often with a very tight ‘grip’. This trains them to need a lot of pressure on their penis in order to orgasm.
The best way to make your man have an orgasm during oral sex is to ask him not to masturbate at all for 2-3 weeks and then try giving him a blowjob after that. You’ll be surprised with the results!
Sean
Hi Sean, absolutely love this site!
I was wondering if you had tips for flirting?
My boyfriend used too be a MASSIVE flirt before we got together, he’s just one of those guys that really knows how to talk to women and make them feel comfortable. I see him flirting with other women when we’re out, so I know he’s still capable of it. But he seems to have forgotten how to flirt with me. I send him suggestive texts, or make suggestive comments when we’re out. But I get no return.
On the plus side our sex life is absolutely fantastic! I just wish the foreplay could start before we got home.
So yeh, anything I can do, say, wear? To make him more interested in the flirting? We’ve only been together 6 months, I’m not ready for the fun to stop yet.
Hi Max,
The most important thing you can do in this situation is talking to your man. I know this doesn’t sound like an ‘exciting sex tip’, but it’s the key to a great sex life. So let him know how much you like him flirting with you, teasing you and doing those things he did when you first met. I know this is quite direct, but sometimes guys just don’t ‘get it’ unless it’s explicitly spelt out for them.
Also, try sending him messages that bait him into flirting with you. Try something like sending him a picture of you in 2 different outfits and asking him which he finds hotter for a date. This way he pretty much has to reply.
Let me know how you get on!
Sean
Hi sean, when my boyfriend and I have sex he never has an orgasm. He acts like he’s about to but it just never happens. Is it something I’m doing wrong? Is there any way at all that I could fix it? Make it more pleasurable for him?
Hi Victoria,
I’m 99% sure that you’re not doing anything wrong at all. It’s most likely your man, so don’t worry! All you need to do is just ask your man to stop masturbating. It’s most likely because he is used to reaching orgasm through masturbation on his own. After a while of not masturbating (weeks for some guys, months for others) he will readjust and will stop having trouble reaching orgasm during sex with you. I know this isn’t a quick fix that you may have been hoping for, but in almost all cases it is the only solution.
Best,
Sean
Hey Sean
My boyfriend is very big… If you know what I mean .
And he always tend to please me but bi get hurt All the time and sometimes loose that interest In the sexual moment we share…
I don’t know what to do…
He took my virginity a year ago but it’s stil so damn sore????
I can’t enjoy the sex the way I’m suppose to???
I can’t tell him that??
Hi Montenique,
Thanks for your question. The first thing you should think about is using lots of lube to help things slide in and out better without friction. As for telling your man that he has a massive penis? Every guy in the world wants to be told this! Just make sure to tell him in a flattering way and let him know how much you like it. Then let him know that sometimes it’s almost too much and can be painful and that sometimes it would be better if he could go a little slower.
Sean
Hello Sean,
I have been with my partner for 13 years. I have orgasms (usually once or twice a month) in my sleep but find it difficult to have them during sex. The build up it too intense and is somewhat painful. Any tips would be appreciated.
Hi Becca,
The problem could be that your man is stimulating your clitoris too directly which often leads to over stimulation and even a bit of pain! Try some positions where your clit isn’t being stimulated much and even some positions where it’s not stimulated at all. When your man is not stimulating your clit during, you can do yourself so that you can apply as much pressure as you like.
Another key component of having an awesome sex life is communication. Talk to your partner about what you do and don’t like and what you need from him to have a great time.
Let me know how you get on!
Sean
Hi Sean. My husband and I have a problem. He is 46 and I’m 31. When we first got together everything was great! The love making is still great…Most of the time. He has a huge member! The biggest I have ever been with. We made love a lot. I almost had to beat him off with a stick. Lol but anyway, I have become “use” to his size. He said I’m not loose but I’m fitted to him. Plus he has started not being able to go. It was 3 times a day or more. But we decided to cut back due to soreness and he will go limp between changing positions and most the time not be able to go. I feel like its my fault. What can we do?
Hi Tiffany,
This sounds like a tough situation. There could be a number of reasons that your man is going limp: Stress, tiredness, underlying illness, low testosterone count, new medication or a combination of all these things. The best thing is to have him talk to a doctor about it to see if he can discover the cause. Anything else would just be speculation.
Sean
Hi
When having sex with my fiance he comes easily at the first time but it takes him like 20_30 mins to come during the second time.
He doesn’t like not coming before standing up. What can I do to make him come earlier?
Sounds like a tough one. One way is to find a position that gets him off quicker than normal. The other is to try doing something like giving him a handjob or blowjob to give yourself a break.
when do you introduce lube? In my experience it seems hard to know when to say “do you want to use lube”. thanks!
Hi Julie,
Honestly, it’s not a big deal at all. There’s no need to say anything, just grab the bottle and squeeze a bit into your hand. If you act like using lube is a big deal, then it will be a big deal. If you act like it’s the most normal thing in the world, it will seem totally normal to your man too.
Sean
I read an article in a sexual magazine that invited me to use a faucet to reach an orgasm. The 1st time I tried was in the bathtub with the water on full blast & at a temperature that was comfortable. I held the faucet as if it was a penis to better direct the flow of water to where I wanted it. Then I relaxed by laying back & just going with the flow & pressure of the water & by concentrating on how my body was responding to it and to adjust my body’s position for maximum pleasure. It worked so well I have been recommending it to females ever since then!!! Hope this tip helps those women who have never had an orgasm. Once you try it, it will make masterbating in front of him easier & it will be more comfortable for you too! Much success to all!!!
Namaste =D
Hi Sean,
Can all women squirt as I never have but would like to?
Hi Kathryne,
The majority can, but not every single woman can.
Whoaaaa!! I’m 43 and never heard of squirting until now. I have got to try and learn this. Thanx!!
Hi to all 🙂
Unbelievable but true.
I learned about and to squirt when I was 65 !! Indeed.
Better late than never.
Now I´m way older and have an incredible, intense and fulfilling sex life.
I discovered Bad Girls Bible a few month ago: it´s wonderful, girls, JUST LISTEN
🙂 Good luck
Hi, I was wondering if you could help. My boyfriend is good and I do enjoy sex but I always need to take a break or sometimes stop completely. Sometimes because I am hurting or I get bored after a while (as he can last quite a while) because of this I feel really bad. Ive explained to him it hurts sometimes and I try to finish him off other ways but I really struggle to get him to come. Any tips?
Just get him to stop masturbating for 2-3 weeks and he will start cumming really easily.
Pls hw would I knw if I want to squirt?
It’s up to you if you want to or not. This article will help with technique.
Hi,i just want to ask what is to squirt,Im a black lady so this words kind of strange to me.Please explain.
This article will help explain everything you need to know about squirting.
My husband has a small penius. I mean its pleasurable and he gives me orgasums but I still feel like something is missing. We do all types of positions and are wild but i need more. What could I do to make things more intense?
He could try wearing a penis extender.
Hey Sean,
When I have sex I find it very hard to let go and relax. My partner doesn’t take long to orgasm, while I can’t. Even while masturbation, I cant orgasm. Every time I’m right at the edge, I just stop. Can you please suggest something so I can overcome this?
Mel, it sounds like you need to try and relax more.
Sean
How come i always find it hard to get an orgasm during sex. I always get a different feeling during sex. Its different from the feeling i get when i mustarbate .
It’s usually because masturbation and sex are quite different. You need to talk to your man so that he understands what you need during sex in order to reach orgasm.
Here goes, I masturbate when I have free time and feel horney. I have to admit sometime I rush the experience. Once it start feeling all so good and i speed up the process something washes over me, my clit that i was rubbing gets super sensitive and forces me to stop. I usually stick my finger in my vagina and there’s a slimy substance at the tip of my vagina. I think I’m cumming, but how come it never comes outside my vagina? I never have this experience during sex only when i masterbate.
It’s perfectly normal for it to remain in your vagina. If you produced a large quantity, then it’s going to be more likely to leave and come outside your vagina
I love your site, I’m learning a LOT. And I’m very thankful !!!! He is very happy & satisfied
Great tips. But why do u assume that the partner is a man? I’m in a lesbian relationship and I use all your advice on my girl.
good website. even if u have a great sex life with your partner it’s nice to read and discover new things, and also see that u applied some of them by mistake. keep up the good work. question, in your opinion u think that chemistry plays a role in a good sex life, long or short term?
Absolutely it does!
Hi , so i honestly have no idea what to do i try playing with myself and stuff but i just keep feeling more fustrated its like my clit is barley sensitive to touch? ! Tips ?
Thank you!
Hey Sean
When me and my boyfriend have sex I would sometimes like fanny fart. He says he likes it but it makes me feel uncomfortable.Can you please explain why it happens and how can I prevent it from happening again. Please!
Hi Silver,
This guide should help you to stop it.
Mines Don’t don’t squirt , It just rushes out. And what is the difference between a clitoral orgasm and g-spot, how does g-spot feel how do u know your orgasming?
It’s hard to tell you how it feels until you experience it yourself. You know you have reached orgasm because it feels like a very sudden, intense peak of pleasure. It’s perfectly fine if it just rushes out instead of actually squirting out.
hi Sean I need your help I can’t help it to know that my current partner and I have been having sex for 3 years and he haven’t hit the good spot and with that he doesn’t satisfy me I’m even afraid to tell him that I don’t enjoy having sex with him I’m just doing it for him to feel good and he comes after 20minutes whereas I don’t feel his sex how should I tell him this or at least try to tell him that he doesn’t hit a good spot?
Guys often have super sensitive egos, so it’s probably not a great idea to say, “you suck.” A good strategy is figuring out what you do like him doing…maybe it’s a certain position, oral sex, massaging you or something else. You need to let him know how much you enjoy these activities and get him to expand on them.
Sean i have been trying your techniques and they have worked for but my main problem is I have never squirt before in all my sexual experience, and secondly my boyfriend is a novice I have tried to teach him how to hold on longer before he cums but still the moment he enters my pussy just witg in 5 thrusts he cums how can i help him give me maxim satisfaction.
I am facing the same problem with my husband of premature ejackulation. Can ideas or help
Hey.
As someone who’s been there and overcome (pun intended) his shortcomings (look at that, another pun), I suggest a few things
– Different paces. If he gets into rhythm and you just KNOW he’s about to come, switch positions, or stop altogether. Just for <30 seconds or so. You'll need to, essentially, condition him into this.
– HE needs to also get better at it himself. My wife started making it so I couldn't go (stopping and restarting) at least 4x before I could come to fruition.
– Foreplay, Foreplay, Foreplay.
That's all I got for now. Best of luck
Hi Sean,
It feels weird saying this but I don’t usually get a lot of sensation when my man is working my clit or even when I try to do it myself.i mean i get sensations but not enough to be pleasurable and if he keeps trying it kinda start to hurt. Is it something we’re not doing right or is the problem from me?
Thank you.
Perhaps you are just not that sensitive. Try using a vibrator for more intensity.
I am 32. I have never experienced a Orgasm, I have had the sensation of having to pee during sex. I find myself getting frustrated that I never reach that point. While my husband does.
Hi Sean, I have a child & I’m in a long distance relationship & been with my man for a year and a half now. We’ve never had sex, we are waiting but we sext a lot & everything is perfect. My problem is that I’m scare that my vagina is bigger than his penis & my vagina farts a lots during sex. I learnt this during my previous relationship. How can I make my vagina small for when we do have sex, to enjoy & for me to enjoy too
You can try kegels to tighten it up
The truth is different guys have different refractory periods. Some rebound in minutes, while others take hours.
Hi Sean, love your website but need some advise I used to be a really big squirter as in I’d literally soak the bed sheets etc trouble is one time it happened I had a queef and it was really embarrassing things stopped my fella thought it was something else and I don’t seem to squirt much now my partner thinks he is doing something wrong but I think I’m holding back because I don’t want that to happen again, any advise as I love squirting
Sounds like a mental block Laura. Queefing is perfectly normal and healthy. Every woman does it and it’s nothing to be embarrassed about.
These are great tips!
Thank you.
My husband of 12 years always does the same technique when going down on me and he refuses to take my gentle instructions. I never criticize, act annoyed, lie there like a dead corpse, belittle, and or put him down.
But it’s frustrating that he will not try anything new or attempt to try what I flat out say this feels good keep doing it! I like indirect contact then a little direct then back. It gives me a great build up and I squirt and cum and it’s awesome! I also don’t take long to get there…5 mins tops. But he just won’t, it’s always straight for the clit, attack that thing! He starts off slightly rough and then builds on that straight on my clit, it hurts and feels too intense all at once, then he’s commanding me to come for him and God knows I try. If I do cum it’s too intense and so unsatisfying…pls help!
Sounds super frustrating Christy. My advice is to try and talk to him in a non-confrontational, non-judgemental way. This article on sexual communication should help.
I love all the advise on these pages. It has added to extra pleasure for both of us to an already great sex life. We talk about sex often and play with dirty talk and text messages, role playing, dress up and taking it outdoors when we can.
Thanks for the tips please keep them coming.
Hi guys!
I need to ask this… I have orgasms via my clitoris but I’ve never managed one via the vagina.
I’ve been masturbating for years and have been able to get guys to make me finish but it just doesn’t seem to be a big deal… It doesn’t feel as amazing as I expected and I’m just wondering if I’m missing something?? Sort of disappointed if this is “the real thing”! Haha
Sean everytime my boyfriend fingers me I bleed and alot. At a point that we don’t have sex at all and I’m in pain. What might be wrong?
Lee, you shouldn’t be doing anything that you find painful. My advice is to talk to your doctor about the bleeding.
I read about the four phases of orgasm and anytime my partner has his finger inside of me I reach the second stage but I don’t think I reach the contraction stage before my legs begin to shake. My question is: is that orgasm for me or that is a step to and also I reach that stage more often with his hand inside me then his penis please what do I do
Hi , uhm when I started having sex with. My first partner I used to get really wet , and I mean like almost soaked , and i continued to get really wet when I got with my second partner , then I had my daughter , and now it’s really hard for me to get wet . I mean I’m super turned on but I don’t get wet … Can you tell me why that is ? My boyfriend seems to think he’s doing something wrong but believe me he’s not …. It’s me that doesn’t get wet …
Hi Lucy, this can happen and there is no easy solution. If you stress about it, then it’s going to be even harder to become wet. Thankfully you can always use lube as a replacement though.
See a Doctor !
Have him go down on you!! We have 3 kids and 2 of them are 7 1/2 months apart after are 3rd baby I would get turned on but was not getting wet so he started going down on me before and after a few months im back to soaking the sheets!!! Hope this helps!!
I have trouble having a organism while I have sex. I feel like I have to pee but I don’t. I squirt time to time but how do i know I am having a organism or I am squirting?
If fluid comes out, then you’re squirting. If you reach a peak in pleasure that dissipates quickly afterwards, then you’ve had an orgasm. Check out the Orgasm Guide for tips on having one.
Hi sean
Still single but will apply all tht..although i tried sex earlier this year but after sex while peeing there is some pain..as if its running over a wound..whY? Please advice
It could be a UTI, talk to your doctor if the pain doesn’t go away.
Hello Mr Jameson. I’m a 41 year old female in a fantastic relationship with my guy. We’ve always had great sex until lately I’ve been having extreme trouble reaching orgasm. I feel it start to build and when I get halfway there it disappears. Just vanishes. And then I feel like I’m trying to hard to get to my orgasm again and I get very frustrated. I’ve discussed this with my man and he’s very sweet and supporting. So I get all your books on everything. I’ve read them tried out A LOT of your ideas and still nothing. Any advice please.
Hmmm…Can you try holding off on masturbating for a few weeks. You’ll also find that stress & new medications can interfere with your sex drive/ability to orgasm. As will becoming anxious about reaching orgasm. Try focusing on the pleasure itself and not the outcome.
When my boyfriend fingers me or we are having sex I can’t feel him except for some pressure. Is there something wrong?
Talk to him and let him know what you like and need for pleasure.
Is there a specific reason that I need to concentrate so hard to orgasm? Or am I doing something wrong?
You may have trained your body to only orgasm with a certain technique which means you may have to concentrate extra hard to cum when not using that particular technique. My advice is to check out the guide on how to orgasm to learn how climax without so much effort.