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While everyone seems to know the Bad Girl’s Bible as the place where you can learn how to drive your man wild with pleasure, today I want to take a slightly different approach and teach you everything there is to know on masturbation and giving yourself incredible orgasms.
I’ve also included some detailed illustrations, so you can easily understand what’s going on and how to get the most pleasure possible when masturbating.
Side note: If you currently struggle to orgasm, then you may want to learn about the Easy Orgasm Solution. It will teach you how to orgasm easily and reliably. It works even if you find it challenging to orgasm during sex or when masturbating. You can find out more here.
Learning how to masturbate is fun, completely natural and one of many ways to stop being horny. The great thing with masturbation is that you are learning about your body. You are finding out what feels good to have touched, caressed and stimulated, and you are learning about what areas of your body are most sensitive. So understanding how your body reaches orgasm by regularly masturbating is going to make it much easier to orgasm with your partner during sex.
Podcast: 20 Intense Masturbation Techniques For Powerful Orgasms
The guide below is super detailed, but you will find even more powerful masturbation techniques in this podcast I recorded…20 to be exact!
Listen to more Bad Girls Bible podcast episodes here
While this guide will show you how to get started on the path to giving yourself some sweet ‘O’s, there is one thing that I’d like you to know before reading on.
Different people respond to different things. You may find that certain techniques or sensations do nothing for you, while they work wonders for others.
Squirting: Any woman can experience the intense pleasure of squirting, if you follow the right process. I demonstrate the most powerful squirting techniques and explain the process, step-by-step in the Squirting Magic Guide.
The key is finding out what works for you by using my guide as…a guide, together with a little bit of trial and error. The same is true when trying to increase your sex drive. So we’re going to start out with making sure you fully understand your body, then you’ll learn why putting yourself in the right mindset is crucial and only then we’ll get to some of the best ways to masturbate (you can skip right to them by clicking here). Also, if you want my more advanced masturbation techniques, then you should check out this detailed article here.
Step #1 – Your Anatomy
I know you may want to jump straight to the “How To” section, but please read this section on your anatomy first, it will ultimately help you have much more powerful orgasms every time you masturbate!
The diagram above shows all the important parts of the outside of your vagina.
Clitoral Hood – At the top of the vagina, you can see your clitoral hood. The clitoral hood is the little flap of skin that covers your clitoris. It doesn’t serve much purpose other than to protect your very sensitive clitoris from getting hurt.
Clitoris – Your clitoris is probably the most important part of your body when masturbating with your fingers. It’s that tiny nub of skin full of nerve endings that feels incredible when properly stimulated. As you can see from the diagram, it’s located just underneath your clitoral hood.
Labia Majora & Labia Minora – Your labia majora & minora are the flaps of skin indicated in the diagram that run along the outside of your vagina. As you can see, your labia majora are much larger than your labia minora. The sensitivity of these varies from woman to woman. So you may find them very pleasurable to have stimulated while others don’t get much gratification from them at all.
Urethral Opening – Your urethral opening is where you pee from, so we won’t be paying attention to it when masturbating.
Vagina – Your vagina is the other area of your body, besides your clit that is super sensitive and feels incredible to have stimulated with your fingers or with a dildo/vibrator. And there are multiple ways to do this which I explain (with diagrams) below.
He will lust for you: It's easy to make a man desire you and turn him on, when you use the right kind of dirty talk. If you'd like to learn how, then you may want to check out the Wild Dirty Talk Guide. Inside, you'll learn how to confidently talk dirty along with the lines and phrases that work best for making him deeply desire you.
Anus – Your anus also possesses a lot of nerve endings and be quite pleasurable to have stimulated too. I cover more about anal sex in this guide.
While I’ve already mentioned the clit, urethra and anus, there are are a few other areas to be aware of, as well as two super pleasurable areas, the G Spot & A Spot.
G Spot – The G Spot is located about 2-3 inches (5-7.5 cm) inside the anterior wall of the vagina. However, as I explain in the G Spot article, it won’t feel pleasurable to touch until you are aroused and turned on. So if you go looking for it when you’re not thoroughly aroused, you’re going to have trouble finding it.
If you would like more in-depth information on the G Spot as well as G Spot masturbation & sex techniques, then make sure to check out this article on the G Spot. But if you’d like more scientific information, then the Wikipedia article on it here will help a lot too.
A Spot – As you can see from the diagram, the A Spot is located much deeper in the vagina on the anterior wall by the cervix. When stimulated it can lead to very powerful vaginal orgasms. However using your fingers to do this is going to be difficult, so you may need to invest in something like a dildo to do it for you. The A Spot is also called the deep spot, AFE zone or even the “epicenter.” You can find out more about it on Wikipedia here.
Vagina – The entire length of your vagina is sensitive and feels wonderful to have stimulated, especially your A & G Spots as I mentioned above.
Cervix – Your cervix is very sensitive, and while some women love having their cervix stimulated during masturbation and sex, others find even the slightest pressure on their cervix to be intolerable.
If you want to give your man back-arching, toe-curling, screaming orgasms that will keep him sexually addicted to you, then you'll find them in my private and discreet newsletter. You'll also learn the 5 dangerous & "dumb" sex mistakes that turn him off and how to avoid them. Get it here.
Rectum – Your rectum is the area you encounter after penetrating your anus. How much you enjoy stimulating this area of your body depends on you. My advice is to experiment. The anal sex guide should help you out.
Step #2 – The Set-Up
Masturbation is so much more pleasurable and fun when you are relaxed and comfortable. So a little planning ahead can do wonders. If you are going to masturbate, make sure that you are not going to be disturbed…unless that’s what you want! This usually means that you need to lock your bedroom door so people can’t burst in and disturb you. If you don’t have a lock, then wait until no one else is around.
From talking to students, I have found that a slow and relaxed build up leads to more fulfilling orgasms. So if you have the time, you’ll find that running a bubble bath or having a long and relaxing shower first is a great way to get in the mood for sexual activity.
Read: Tips for masturbating with the shower head.
You may read elsewhere that lighting candles, using incense and playing relaxing/sexy music can all add to the experience. It’s true. But it can often be a hassle preparing all that stuff beforehand. So try to figure out what works best for you and do a little experimentation. You may even find that you don’t need much preparation at all.
Step #3 – The Build Up
Now that you have everything set up and you are sure that you are not going to be disturbed, it’s time to get down to it and start masturbating. If it’s your very first time masturbating, then I recommend that you turn off the lights and get under the covers. Doing this may make it easier to orgasm.
But don’t go straight for your clitoris/vagina just yet!
You may be eager to start masturbating right away, but it’s better to keep building up to it. Start by slowly rubbing yourself from your thighs up to your stomach and over your breasts. Try to listen to your body to find out where feels best to have rubbed and stimulated. Your breasts may feel the most sensitive and pleasurable to touch, or maybe your inner thighs feel best or maybe even your waist does. The key is to experiment and find what works best for you and your body.
Quick Warning: While this instructional video is quite distressing, it will teach you how to make your lover cry with orgasmic pleasure and become sexually addicted to you. If you are interested in having someone completely obsessed with you and only you, then check out the detailed (& explicit!) oral sex tutorial video here.
Keep doing this for just a minute or 2 before finally lowering one hand towards your crotch. This slow build up is all part of making your orgasm that much more powerful when you do climax.
Step #4 – How To Actually Masturbate
Finally, we get to the actual masturbation part of this masturbation guide! I’m going to cover the basic techniques you can use on this page, but you’ll find much more powerful masturbation methods in this advanced masturbation technique guide and this one on fingering yourself.
Focusing On Your Clit
The simplest way to masturbate is by rubbing your clit with your finger. For many women, this is their preferred way to masturbate and orgasm. There are a number of different ways to rub, massage and stroke your clit, from softly rubbing it with one finger to using all four in a more intense motion to using a pillow or even focusing on the U Spot.
To learn 15 different masturbation techniques and see detailed demonstrations of them, check out the masturbation techniques guide here.
Phenomenal Fingering Techniques
Once you learn how to masturbate by focusing on your clitoris and the outside of your vagina, it’s time to discover the pleasures laying inside by fingering yourself. The basic technique is easy; you just need to slide a lubed finger inside and apply pressure and stimulation where it feels most pleasurable.
But this basic technique probably isn’t going to lead to body-shaking pleasure. To learn exactly how to have earth shattering orgasms from fingering yourself, check out the illustrated guide to fingering yourself here.
A Lot Of Extra Techniques
You may think that knowing some clitoral stimulation techniques and how to finger yourself is all there is to masturbation, but there is a lot more. If you’ve ever wanted to learn how to experience female ejaculation and make yourself squirt during masturbation, then check out these detailed instructions.
Quick Quiz: Do You Give Lousy Blow Jobs?
If you are new here, then you may want to take the quiz below to learn how good you are at giving oral sex and satisfying your man. You may discover you that you suck (pun intended) or that you are already a blow job queen.
Of course, you can also introduce sex toys into the equation. Click here to learn eight ways to use your vibrator to enjoy wave after wave of intense stimulation. And don’t forget about using a dildo too. If you want to learn exactly how to use your dildo during masturbation for tear-inducing, eye-popping pleasure, then read the Dildo Guide here.
Step #5 – Bringing Yourself To Orgasm
When learning how to masturbate, there is a trap that you must avoid. This trap is thinking that you “have to have an orgasm.” This kind of thinking puts pressure on you, which can make it less likely that you will have one. Instead, a better way to approach masturbating is to have no goals. Instead, you should look at it as:
Enjoying the process, regardless of what happens.
With that said, bringing yourself to orgasm is not too difficult. You just need to find the spot, techniques & intensity that you enjoy the most and focusing your attention there while making sure to listen to your body.
For more tips on how to make yourself orgasm, make sure to check out the super in-depth Orgasm Guide.
Step #6 -Masturbation With Penetration
For some, penetration during masturbation can feel great and take your pleasure to the next level. There are a bunch of ways you can do this.
G Spot Masturbation – You can try penetrating yourself with your fingers to apply pressure to your G Spot. If you find you hand tiring, then you can try using a dildo instead. If you want to learn more about penetrating yourself during masturbation and having G Spot orgasms, then check out this article on fingering yourself and read this one on your G Spot.
A Spot masturbation – If you want to hit your A Spot during masturbation, then you are going to need a dildo. Your A Spot will be too deep to reach comfortably with your fingers. Rather than repeating myself here on what techniques to use to masturbate your A Spot, I cover how to hit your A Spot in this article on how to have a vaginal orgasm.
Step #7 – Masturbation With A Vibrator
Using a vibrator can be super pleasurable. But before you rush out the door and buy one, here are two important pointers to take into account:
1) Vibrators can provide intense stimulation which can be too much for some women (to the point where it’s not pleasurable and is actually a bit painful).
2) Cheap vibrators usually only have one speed which can be annoying if you want a level of stimulation that is slower and more relaxed. If you are serious about great masturbation, then my advice is to go for a vibrator that has variable speeds even if it costs a little more.
You can read the entire guide to using your vibrator here.
For most potent masturbation tips & ideas, like finding and stimulating your U Spot make sure to check out this second article that will teach you my most powerful masturbation techniques along with this one on fingering yourself.
Orgasm Every Time. Easily. Here’s How...
I want to tell you about my friend Karen.
Karen came to me one day. She was hysterical.
She told me that her marriage was falling apart because she and her husband didn’t have satisfying sex.
Every time they were intimate, Karen was faking her orgasms. It turns out she couldn’t orgasm during sex.
In fact...
She never had an orgasm in her entire life. Not one!
This left her feeling embarrassed and ashamed. And...
She completely hid this from her husband. Thankfully...
It turns out that there is a way for any woman to orgasm. Easily. And have multiple vaginal and full body orgasms during sex and masturbation.
I shared the process with Karen.
After she followed the simple process, she could barely come to terms with how...
Quickly and dramatically her sex life changed.
We met up a few months later and...
She would not stop talking about it,
“I thought I was one of those women who couldn’t orgasm. I used to think I was ‘broken’ and ‘unfixable.’ This saved my sex life, and that saved my marriage.”
Even if you currently struggle to orgasm during sex or when masturbating, this process will also work for you.
And best of all, you don’t need to do anything weird or uncomfortable to start having the best orgasms and sex of your life.
Sean,
So, this may sound awkward, and I am not the most comfortable, but my boyfriend has really been trying to get me to masturbate, and I just can’t seem to do it right. I feel as though even after “building up” that I can’t get comfortable at all with the way it feels. I really think I only feel comfortable when my man does any of that stuff. I just can’t get turned on by myself. My boyfriend recommended porn but that didn’t work either, and I was wondering if you had any tips?
Thanks,
My relationship and I,
Kathy
Hi Kathy,
A very effective way to masturbate and enjoy it is….make sure you are comfortable. This is something that you even mentioned. I always advise that you start by masturbating on your own, like in your room so that you don’t have to worry about being disturbed or feeling any pressure to orgasm.
Remember the key to having a good time is focusing on what you enjoy, not reaching orgasm. In time, you’ll find it easier and easier to get closer to orgasm, simply by focusing on doing what you enjoy most.
Let me know how you get on.
Sean
Hii i just wanted to know what im doing wrong because my boyfriend sexted me and i masterbated but i didnt orgasm i tend to get turned off while im mastrbating…. it feels good at first but i get ‘bored” of the sensation… what am i not doing right to get ‘bored’¿¿
Try focus only on what feels good and don’t worry about trying to orgasm. Focusing on achieving the “goal” of orgasm can put too much pressure on you, making it nearly impossible.
Same, that’s why I came here in the first place, I build up well and then lose my desire
I feel like the advice is… slightly…generic.
I too have an issue with fizzing out/edging.
I think not focusing on the end goal is great! But while you’re doing it, play with pressure, play with your speed, the hand movements. Maybe you’re finding a movement you like and you just need more pressure? I’m not sure how you masterbate but truly experimenting and as the creator said, like just do what you enjoy and over time, you’ll get closer and closer.
Try to get him to help do it by your self but hold his cock and play with it or just have him there
Stop thinking is the key. Enjoy that very moment and forget everything. Find a calm and isolated place.
I felt the same way with my husband for a long time .
I really wanted to do it for him. So I had him help me, by being the one that controlled my hand. That way he was doing it to me, with my hand as his tool.
After about 10 min I was wanting the control and knew where I wanted my “tool” to go and how I needed to use it.
It helped a lot I gained a ton of confidence too by seeing how turned on he was by it!
I did this to and i liked it because it felt like you wasn’t doing it because you wasnt realy moving your hand your partner was and I like this tequnice
Do women emmits sperm while mastrubation ??
Women don’t product sperm
Sean,
Are we able to masturbate while having our period? Plz and ASAP
Xoxo,
Twinkle
It shouldn’t be a problem
Yes I do it all the time
Hey,
Honestly same here. I feel like because I didn’t start masturbating or having an interest in doing so at a young age, it makes it harder for me to get into now a days. I don’t understand how a women can get turned on without a partner..honestly its probably because of the submissive style is sex that I am into. I seem to only get turned on by my partner, penetrating me or talking to me a certain way. But thinking more into this, I have had times where I wasn’t turned on by them or anything originally…but once penetrated I had gotten wet. I truly think this is because of the A spot….four-play doesn’t really do this for me. I like head in a sense of getting things stared bc it is fun, intimate and damping things, but honestly I might just be into what happens after penetration. Either its just the A spot that maybe I can use in the future to try and masterbate/arrouse myself..but otherwise, the kinks I have is honestly all that works…and it has to be done to me and not like watched……if I was built more like guy, I’d probably be the oppisite and have an easier time with this. (Deepy despice the idea that we are all physically different…and I’m not as easily arroused as others or capable of pleasuring myself,….cus in that case, i’d just enjoy an asexual or bisexual life without “needing”, someone to sexually depend on….which I feel is unfair. But, sex isn’t exactly necessary in life haha. Happy either way I guess.
Try reading Doms and Subs living. I am a submissive and my husband is my dom. Even outside the bedroom it is deeper than just sex and it really helps for understanding.
Hi thank you for your input. Please try to orgasm in the future.
Dear Jamie,
No one cares dude. How do you know what God want. Because of a book written by a man that you don’t have never met, he might have written the book for attention or for a good laugh. You do not know what god wants because you have never met him. It’s cool if you want to wait tell marriage to have sex but to come onto websites like these and try to shove your beliefs and your “God” down people’s throats.
Amen to that
Thanks bro
Amen
stop god is real if you belivie in him
The “Lord” doesn’t mention masturbating as a sin.
Thank you
Jamie–
If you really don’t appreciate this, then don’t bother reading it.
–KM
Does God even exist? If so reply to me with EVIDENCE I won’t just take you word for it. And evidence isnt the bible. I want DNA or something that will prove to me.
I know what he said is wrong BUT DONT YOU DARE GO AGAINST OUR RELIGION
You don’t need evidence. Think of this… who do you think made this world? God.
Where do people go when they die? Heaven and God.
Who do you think have his life for you so that you could live? Jesus, God’s only begotten son.
All of these are reasons, not evidence but they are pure facts. Call missionaries or attend a Mormon sacrament meeting. Learn. Read the Bible. You soon will grow to love and understand god and the gospel and the church. ❤️ God bless your souls and your heart. ??
Why does your religion need protection? If it’s true it should be confronted. But I guess what I say is worthless because I’m an atheist… sigh
just gonna say to “a beleiver and food person” (10/10 spelling btw) bruv…. my brother was molested by a mormon pastor sooo… no. also, why’d yall have to bring god into this, He gave us these things to use for pleasure, and he doesnt want us to use it? if he doesnt like this then why doesnt he just only give us the ability to orgasm when we get married? isnt he all powerful? personally i dont think god exists, but if he did he’d want us to use what he gave us (our brains, our ability to feel pleasure, etc)
YOU CANT PROVE GOD WITH DNA!! HE IS A BELIEF THAT YOU MIGHT NOT BELIEVE IN BUT THATS OK! YOU CAN JUST GO AROUND SAYING YOU NEED PROOF! it is a BELIEF
Hahaha are you serious.? Get off this site if this offends you. Everyone here is asking for advice not to hear you complain and sook like ac child.
#you need to get laid!! ??
Preach!!!!!?
Calm down. What are you doing on this website at 6:49 pm anyway? Why are you here? Just to force feed us your religion? I dont mind your religion believe whatever you want, but dont try to make me conform to society because your god told you to. Just leave bro. No one wants you on this website if all youre going to do is literally violate our constitution which actually says that all beings have the right to freedom of religion.
Amen.
Grandma you joined the bad girls bible?!?! (This is a joke btw)
So if it’s so wrong how did you get on this site and by being on this site you are committing sin so stop with the holier than thou attitude
Let me just say, a lot of people give God a bad name. I am a believer. I am married and like to get info from this site to try with my spouse in the bedroom. The Bible is very quiet when it comes to what’s acceptable in the bed between husband and wife. Don’t let the way a person is acting rather, believer or not, make your opinion of God. He’s not at all like some Christians, all judgy and one sided. One of my favorite things about Jesus is he understands. Truly understands and knows your heart.. not misunderstanding and pointing fingers. He gets it. So I just wanted to chime in here and say a lot of Christians give God a bad name. I heard my preacher say this years ago and I believe that saying is spot on.
Thank you. I was in a dark place so I started master bating. I am a member of the church and seeing this really helped. I’m no longer doing this stuff to myself and it’s all because of your words. You really saved me here. God bless you. And thank you. ❤️
Maturation isn’t a bad thing, it can help with certain things, just dont use it as a cruch
Thank you for that…
Hahaha this is so funny how did someone with such an opinion come to this site in the first place unless they wanted to be bad themselves?? ? cast your own sins lol. While I agree it’s should only be for married people and is something serious and beautiful some people like me who have been married for ten years need a pick me up ? also only 144,000 go to heaven so get your facts right before you go condemning people to hell. ?
1. God never said in the bible that masturbating is a sin.
2. Even if you have sex after you are married, there are so many divorces in this world that how do you know that it will last until death? People get divorced every day, just as boyfriends/girlfriends break up every day.
3. What are you doing on this site, on this article if you believe it’s such a sin.
4. People have needs. Personally, I masturbate to keep myself from foolishly having sex with someone. It’s my form of abstaining from sex, and I’m sure that a whole lot of other people feel the same way.
The only people I know who don’t masturbate are the ones who insult others for doing so. A few thoughts for those folks:
1- All mamals masturbate.
2- IT hurts no one.
3- it *may* relieve enough sexual tension to stop you from cheating on your partner.
4 – Do it often and you’ll know more about your own sexuality/desires. Pay attention to where you mind goes when you masturbate and let that guide your sexuality with your partner.
5- Have pitty on those who are critical of other peoples sex lives. THEY are the ones that tend to be missing out on the joy of sexuality due to either a religious fantasy or a miserable upbringing that may have involved abuse, physical or emotional.
6- Love yourself and make love to yourslelf. It’s 100% legal, enjoyable, free and if you’re not riddled with some sort of societaly driven guilt, should be a quick vacation from reality.
Wtf???
I believe in god but my boyfriend loves me and we have been dating for 3 years and I may be Cristine and believe in god but I also believe that if you love someone you should be free to have sec with them and also masterbation isn’t a sin and your missing out
Just because there is a book or a bunch of meetings that say god is real doesn’t make it fact. If I write a book saying clouds are cotton candy and a bunch of people belive in it and center their lives around it dosent make it real, just a widely held belief
Oh yeah, and please shut up
Not my problem lol
1: UR WRONG AND RIGHT
2:HE SAID HOW BAD IT WAS BUT HE WASHED U
3:IT WOULDN’T MATTER JESUS WILL FORGIVE U EITHER WAY
4:THESE GIRLS NEED TO KNOW SO THEY DONT HURT THEMSELVES!!!!!!!!
Why are you on this website
What F***ing right do you have to say what another should or shouldn’t do i don’t come up to you and force you to act/be a certain way that you really don’t want to be, no i do not so wat gives you the right to do as such
And another thing why the f*** are you breaching the “WORD OF GOD” on this site if you want fellow idiots to listen to you outdated and false claims then this is so not the place to be posting this
AND P.S. HATE THE SIN BUT LOVE THE SINNER A**HOLE
1 Corinthians 7:1-5 in keeping with the spirit of scripture in 1Corinthians Paul is addressing the topic of sexual relations and sexual immorality 7:1-5 he sums it up for you about husband and wife becoming one flesh and how if one does things alone falls into temptation but if they do it together as man and wife not depriving one another so that Satan does not tempt you for lack of control.
What do you do while your having sex… can the silence make it awkward…
Why tf are you on here if it’s a HUGE sin???
Mhmm, people like you make me laugh. God also says not to judge and to love thy neighbor. Please go and admit your sins. Don’t like the website or it’s advice then don’t get on it. It’s that simple. On the other hand I learned some new tips I need to go try out with my boyfriend 🙂 have a great day.
Yes I agree!!
First of all, masturbating is a person’s choice and a fun way for one to experiment with what they like. It is not your place to judge or condemn people for wanting to experiment or do whatever they want with their bodies. And that little hint of homophobia was not needed. Your comment was very irrelevant, please show yourself the door and stop being so judgmental.
I love the lord and the lord loves me babe<3 I will have sex whenever and with whoever the fuck I want and same with pleasing myself god says not to judge right…and what are YOU doing???? who made you god??
Hi, I agree.
I had never done this before, but I found a man who made ME feel good, he doesn’t judge and I feel safe and wow. It’s a new experience for me, but one I am really enjoying – relax, enjoy your body x
when I put a vibrator on my clit after a minute my clit pulses and the good sensation starts to go away. What should i do.
Hi Lia,
It doesn’t sound like too big a deal, what you are describing. It just sounds like you are going ‘too hard, too soon’. Instead, try to slowly build up to orgasm. So instead of just applying direct pressure to your clit all the time, use the vibrator around the rest of your vagina and then from time to time, come back to your clit with it. Try to build up much slower.
Also, after you orgasm, your clit will become a lot more sensitive and the vibrations from your vibrator will actually hurt instead of feeling pleasurable.
Sean
It really does. Thought I was the only one .
Call me I’ll finish the job
How about today Steve
Don’t keep it on there move it around and in and out of your vagina then back to the clit I love it that way hope it works for you
I’m having the same problem. I start to get going and it feels great for a minute but the I barely feel anything and i don’t know what to do.
Switch it up here and there
Tease yourself and go slow but keep it interesting
I used to get the same problem x
Hi sean!
I have this problem that i can’t get a orgasm!
For some months ago i broke up with my lover and since then i haven’t had a orgasm!
And i don’t know why! Befor i could come 3-6 times but know nothing:(
I have a dildo with a vibrator in it but i never come close to reaching a orgasm with it!
I really need some help cuz i just have found the man of my dreams and want to figured this out befor we go to bed togheter.
Love Caroline
Sorry,my english isn’t the best. Hope you understand what i have wrote 🙂
Hi Caroline,
Thanks for your email and I’m sorry to hear about your problem. The first I have got to say is…don’t worry. Having a orgasm (or orgasms) during sex is not always necessary, even though it sure does feel nice! You may also find that orgasming is much easier when you are emotionally connected to someone. Let me know how everything goes.
Sean
Hi Sean,
So here is my dilemma. I used to be an exotic dancer, but that was always driven by liquor courage. I did that on the weekends, but was also a professional and still am to this day. However, I am way to shy to masturbate! I just don’t understand how one come’s to do it without the embrace of another. That is what stops me. It is not the sex itself or the feel good, but the human interaction of two coming to one that drives me. Is there any hope for me to learn how to please myself? How do I get over this notion that sexual pleasure can come from one or two? I just can’t seem to motivate myself enough to not feel like I am just being silly. Any guidance or resource would be much appreciated. I have tried it, I bought a vibrator, only way I enjoyed myself was over the phone (phone sex) with someone I knew, and even then I still couldn’t get over the fact that it was me holding this vibrator etc…any help would be lovely.
Thanks,
Em
Hi Emerald,
The most important to do is to not put pressure on yourself to orgasm when masturbating. Just focus on what feels enjoyable and then keep doing that without expecting anything to happen. In time, you will slowly learn what feels good and what doesn’t. This is what will help you get closer to orgasm.
Sean
I have the same problem. I feel like I can’t turn myself on I need a partner to turn me on. And I’m 7 months pregnant and beyond horny and my fiancé has been so caught up and exhausted with work that we haven’t been doing much of anything at all. I have tried to watch porn and finger myself and I’m not satisfied any suggestions on how to turn myself on with myself ?
Sean,
I need help! I am almost 23 and have never had an orgasm. Yes I have sex some really good sex at that I even masturbate. I get extremely wet everything feels great but right before I actually orgasm my clit feels a lot of pressure and intense sensation and I automatically clinch up my body and the orgasm passes. Can I have one? Are they suppose to feel almost painful? How do I stop myself from stoping myself? Any advice would be awesome. (I have mentioned this to my OBGYN and he checked me out and ran some test said everything is prefect fine and healthy)
Hi Kayla, you may want to check out my guide on how to orgasm for that 🙂
hi sean,
this is my story, I had a boyfriend, we were living together, but that is over now. the thing is that I never had a orgasm with my previous partners, this guy was the only one capable to make me feel one, on my own i could get the orgasm and I have no problem at that, I can have multiples, but I am scare of not working in the same way with another guy, my ex and I were very well connected in bed and now I’m scared of never having that again… sometimes i feel guilty of even thinking in another guy.
Sorry if some words don’t make any sense, this is not my mother tongue and I learned on my own…
I know this is maybe not the subject for this entry but I need some advice.
thanx
Hi Andrea,
This sounds like a tough situation for sure. If you could orgasm with one guy, then it means that it’s possible to orgasm with someone else too. However, don’t expect it to happen straight away when you first get together with them. For many people, they have trouble orgasming with a guy unless they feel like they can absolutely trust them and can be completely comfortable around them. The main thing is not to try and ‘force’ yourself to have an orgasm. Give it time and don’t expect it to happen the first time you have sex.
Sean
Thanks so much for your advices.my problem is i cant reach organism with a man but on my own i do!its straining my relationship!
Hi Sean,
I come from a part of the world where masturbation is not encouraged and young girls are expected to stay virgins until they get married. That being said I have a question. Is there anyway I can pleasure myself to the max without penetration. The aim is to reach an orgasm without breaking my hymen. Would clit stimulation work?
Hi F,
Clit stimulation is what many women use for masturbation.
Enjoy!
Sean
I’ve tried everything I can (I caint use vibrators, I’m a virgin and I plan to stay that way) and I get NO pleasure from anything I do! What mom I doing wrong? I’ve been told by some people to ‘just give up’…
Try sticking two fingers in, after getting turned on, then don’t just move your fingers, move your body to help with pleasuring yourself. The G-spot works very well for pleasure also.
Hey, Sean.
I have this problem where it seems like even when I am not masturbating or pleasing myself, I experience a constant amount of vaginal discharge. It’s not like I’m urinating in my pants or anything, it’s just ALWAYS THERE. Also, when I’m turned on I tend to have a massive cramp in the uteral area, which I find rather odd since I’ve never heard of it for anyone else, even online. Coffee gives me lighter cramps down there occasionally, but sometimes the ones occurring from being horny are rather painful and sudden. I haven’t been able to find anything useful on why this and was wondering if you could help me out on this issue. It’s been this way for over 10 years.
Thanks!
Hi Raven,
It’s very important to talk to a doctor about this.
Sean
Hi Raven
I’m also having this issue if you went to a doctor could you tell me what they informed you?
Hey, Sean
I’ve tried masturbation a million times before but its never worked out. I’ve never felt ‘in the mood’ and i don’t know how to get in the mood. Can you please help me with this problem that i’ve been trying to solve for over the past couple of years.
Thank you
Hi Natasha,
It’s hard to know the exact problem with limited information. But it could be a range of things like lack of libido, asexuality or just not finding the right thing to turn you on.
Sean
Hi Sean
Whenever I masterbate I can NEVER orgasm like I can’t find the right spot and I followed your steps and whenever I stick my finger in my vagina if if it’s just touching the inside of it it hurts really bad what am I doing wrong?
Hi Lyssa, like I always say, try to focus on what feels pleasurable and never do anything that’s not pleasurable for you. We’re all put together differently, so you need to take time to discover what works best for you and feels best.
Sean
Dear Sean, I been having trouble masturbating and I try the vibrated is there a other way to masturbate and is there a another way to get my guy in a mood cause his medication,he hasnt been in mood since can you help me with this problem.
Hey Sean,
As you can probably tell i have a little problem… :/ I have a guy of my dreams who i trust with everything, but despite several tries i just cant get to the big-o. So from there i tried masturbating and still nothing. I am very comfortable with myself and my boyfriend, so im not sure on what is going on to make it not come and i really only think of the pleasure and enjoy it, but i still get nothing.
any tips?
Give it time. Talk to your man so that he knows what you find most pleasurable during sex and what things get you closer. Don’t worry about actually reaching orgasm right now. Try to focus more on “getting closer” first. As you do, you’ll be much more likely to orgasm.
hi I cant seem to orgasm! I have tried many times and it doesn’t seem to work…
help please,
annyka
This may sound stupid but I cant tell what feels good and what doesnt
Totally the same… I feel sexually frozen, because I can never tell what feels good…honestly it just feels like touching skin to me…is that normal?
I’m not sure whether or not I’ve had an orgasm before! People all say you’ll know when you have it but then I’ve read in quite a few places that some women don’t even notice and it’s just a feeling of calm? For me when I masturbate it feels really good for a few minutes with the stimulation but then it builds too high and I have to try and not make noise? The reason for my confusion is that I actually don’t like the feeling when it builds too high and I don’t find it pleasurable at all. Is it normal to not like an orgasm? Is it an orgasm at all? (Another confused point is that it only takes a few minutes with a vibrator for that to happen has never with my fingers (or someone elses))
Hi Alice,
It’s interesting that you don’t enjoy the feeling when it builds too high. This could be a case of you reaching orgasm and then afterwards your clitoris becomes very sensitive and even painful to touch. Only taking a few minutes with a vibrator seems normal to me.
Hi. Me and my boyfriend have tried several things and it upsets him when I can’t have an orgasm (which I don’t think I have ever had) I have tried masturbation, and I get the tingly feeling and like a heartbeat sensation down in my female region… But other than that, Nothing. My boyfriend has mentioned that he doesn’t feel adequate…. And I dont know what to do….
Great article! I wanted to ask for your help with an issue I have lately:
When I was younger when I first started masterbating it took me like a lot of time to cum but I had really strong orgazems and then I started to watch porn and I came quicker but the quality of the orgazem wasn’t that great. I stopped watching mainly because I couldn’t cum without it and I want to be able finish without having to watch porn but find it really difficult 🙁
Any advice?
Hi Rosie, Just give it some time and your should start having powerful orgasms once again. Check out Your Brain On Porn for more info about what pornography does to your brain.
Can’t stimulate clit with vibrator and I need to learn Bc I’m going abroad any tips for reaching the big O?
Yes, don’t focus too much on the orgasm. Just focus on what feels pleasurable and the orgasm will come.
Hello, I am a 24 year old female and I often try to masturbate and reach an orgasm which usually doesn’t happen. The only time I truly have an orgasm is when I have that one person who strikes me really nice which is hard to find. I feel sexually trapped because I want to have orgasm on my own not always needing a man’s assistance. I have all diff types of toys but it will help build me up but I’m never pleasured and after a while I get discouraged and don’t want to continue. What should I do?
Focus on what you find pleasurable and get your man to help. Try your best not to focus too much on the outcome (i.e. orgasm), but instead focus on what feels enjoyable to you. While this won’t necessarily help you to orgasm, it will definitely help you get closer.
Where can i purchase your books ?
You can get the Blow Job Bible here:
https://badgirlsbible.com/blowjob-bible
and the Dirty Talking Bible here:
https://badgirlsbible.com/dirty-talking-bible
Hi Sean.
I masturbate regularly, and up until a while ago, I thought I was orgasming fine. But recently I spoke to a few people and looked up, and my experience doesn’t seem as intense as others?. I’m over within a few mins, I kinda shake and that’s it. I can’t carry on with stimulation. I am a lesbian so this is a core part of my sex life, I used to be able to go quite a few times, but now I become over sensitive?
Regards,
C
Hi C, becoming overly sensitive after orgasm is normal for most women. What you can try doing is building up to orgasm as slowly as possible. For some women, when they do this, they find that they aren’t as sensitive after orgasm.
Hi Sean,
First of all thanks for the great tips ( they are super useful) but I have on problem…. I always seem to get to the brink of an orgasm but it never comes I don’t know what I’m doing wrong, any advise would be appreciated 🙂
Thanks
Katie
Hi Katie, it can be tricky that first time. First do everything you can to fully relax. The second is not focusing on the orgasm, but instead focusing on what’s pleasurable. Some women find squeezing their legs together or crossing their legs can feel even more pleasurable. Experiment and try new things, while always focusing on what’s most enjoyable…not the orgasm itself.
Let me know how you get on!
I have been having trouble for a long while wondering how to actually masturbate. I have only masturbated once, but when I tried these techniques, noting really brought me to a sensation, so I made an attempt with a vibrator, and it was amazing. Should I attempt it once more? Do you have any tips?
Thanks a lot,
Julie
Hi Synthia,
Yes, definitely try it again if you want to. The key is focusing on what brings you most pleasure and not focusing on the outcome of reaching orgasm.
Best,
Sean
Hey, since forever I’ve masturbated lying on top of a pillow and grinding. I use a lot of pressure and can climax quite quickly. The thing is I get shy to use as much pressure during sex and hold back as I don’t know how much is too much with a man and have only ever orgasmed with my first boyfriend after months of getting comfortable enough with him.so annoying as can’t O with a guy now who I really like and is so sexy, or previous guys and they take it personally.
hi Sean!
thanks for these tips…
I have a question
whenever I masturbate, I do orgasms but after some time I am not that wet !! … I start again on what usually please me but still nothing… I want to enjoy longer sensation
please help
melina^^
It helped me a lot. I love masturbation. Umm….. Wierd!!!
Hello Sean,
I am single and new to masturbation.I cant seem to get anything pleasurable from it. Do you have any suggestions for me so I can at least have some pleasure when I get horny?
Just focus on what feels pleasurable
Hi Sean
I’m always aroused and when I masterbate I don’t feel pleasure!! WHAT AM I DOING WRONG!!!!
Horny
Just trying focusing on what feels pleasurable, not the orgasm. This is counter-intuitive, but will actually help you orgasm more easily.
When I finnaly finish building up and am really close to my orgasm my whole pelvic area pulses and it feels really good at first but then even if I slow down t become painful before I can come. What should I do?!?!
Very frustrated!
Hi! I’m kind of a first timer when it comes to masterbating and I can’t seem to get it right. I’ve had orgasims with penetration but I can’t seem to do it when I’m all by myself. I’ve tried just about everything. It’s like I feel ultra sensitive but nothing happens. ?
Hi Cory, this guide should help.
I am not enjoying any of these do you have any more, I am wanting to climax and have been trying for months so any others that might be good…
Try these 10 techniques.
Hi sean,
Thank you so much for the steps on how to have an orgasim because of you i have just had my first orgasim im so greatful.
I have one question to ask is it normal to tremble and for the breathing to get very heavy?
X
Yes, it’s completely normal
Hi Sean,
So I’ve been masturbating for a while and I’ve been having a lot of trouble squirting. I’ve read your article about it but i cant seem to get it right. Also I’ve recently had a lot of trouble finding my G-spot. can you please help?
This article will help for finding your G Spot. The key to squirting is to relax, which can be tricky the harder you try. Some women report feeling a “peeing” feeling right before they squirt. If you feel this, don’t fight it, just go with it.
Hey, Sean
This was my first time masturbating. I struggled a bit at the beginning but then I started to get pleasure.
You advice is brilliant.
It was my first orgasm and it felt nice.
Melissa
Hi Sean! How do I know if I’m going to squirt? I’m worried I’m thinking it is my squirt but then it isn’t.
Please help! Thanks
Stacey
Hey!
So my problem is i can’t orgasm i can’t climax basically i can’t cum at all. Not on my own not with a guy i feel like something is wrong with me. i’ve never came in my entire life. And i know i’m not asexual. But idk what’s wrong with me help please!
Try checking out the Orgasm Guide Kate.
Hey!
I am dealing with an extraordinary problem. No doubt sex is required for a good relation but when ever i and my bf have sex (more lile cyber coz he lives in other city) i feel depressed and like a victim. I dont know why is it so. Even i enjoy it. I even get orgams rapidly. Evrythings fine but after it things gets worst. Help pls
Hey I did something other than my hand
Hi, I started masturbating a year ago and MAN does it feel freakin good! I get under my covers after a nice, warm shower, and then i squeeze my soft blanket between my legs. Then I think of a porn story in my mind and go along with it. And I slowly start rubbing the blanket back and forth and rub my pussy and it feels so nice, like paradise. And I go faster and faster and faster until I reach the climax. And i cum everywhere. I do this every night. It’s amazing.
I felt aroused today while looking some people touching each other. and i just googled because i am single
Hello Sean,so what if one doesn’t have a vibrator and a dildo..what else can the person use??
This guide on what you can use as a dildo should help.
Does orgasm always involve squirting?
Nope
I always want my boyfriend to see me nude I always try to arouse him we’re in a long distance relationship he makes me masturbate and I always want him to see that it feel so good to have sex in front of him. Some times I want to have three some or having sex with more than one guy I wanna go nude in front of many guys and make them fuck me hard. I love to masturbate. I just want to be fucked hard everyday.
Hi Sean
I’m a virgin. Lol great way to start the comment but I have tried all the ways you have listed and I’m getting zilch. No feeling, nothing like an orgasm has been described to me. I have even tried porn, it turns me on and I get wet but I get zero sensations when I play with myself. Is there a chance something is wrong with me? I don’t know if maybe I could feel these feeling with a partner or not but so far nothing has worked for me. Do you have any recommendations for me to try other than what you listed?
Emily
How do I make myself cum quickly
Hi Sean
How do you know if you orgasm? I want to squirt but I don’t know if I have an orgasm.
Kathryn
It should feel like you hit an intense peak of pleasure that lasts for 5-15 seconds.
Hi I masturbate quite a bit and I’m a virgin but I’ve never had an orgasm I’ve came but never felt a good or any orgasm ever
Help
Lucy
You need to stop focusing on the outcome (orgasm) and instead pay close attention to only what feels pleasurable without having a goal (orgasm)
How do people go about becoming comfortable with their bodies? I’m sort of late to the game and honestly the idea of sexuality somewhat freaks me out.
sean i want a realistic feeling but i dont want to get pregnant so i domt want a real penis or i dont like dildos what should i do
proper birth control and sex?
This may seem a bit weird. So, I have never masturbated before, and I feel turned on a lot. Wow, nice. But i’ve tried to read on it, and I can’t seem to figure it out? I don’t know what to do as a virgin. I think I’m ready for this step, but I just don’t know how!
Please help.
Focus on what feels pleasurable, not the “goal” of reaching orgasm
I know this is awkward but I’m not comftable putting my finger in my vagina or anything in my vagima cuz I don’t like the feeling on my finger and it scares me.. my boyfriend wants me to but I don’t know how. Plz help
Chloe, you should never do anything that you’re not comfortable with.
yo sean
literally nothing turns me on, i have a sneaking feeling i could be asexual but i don’t want it to be true. i have no desire to have sex (and i don’t want to date at all because every guy my age wants to have sex) and masterbation seems to do nothing. is that normal?
It *could* be normal, but my advice is to talk to your doctor
Hi Sean, I have a question:
Is it normal for your legs to shake right before having to cum?
Also, I’m always so close to reaching an orgasm but then my legs start shaking which isn’t pleasurable at all for me
I don’t use vibrators or sticking my fingers in the hole because I don’t like that feeling it’s much better with the clit but it still doesn’t help reach the orgasm
I also tried focusing on the pleasure but it doesn’t really work when I want an orgasm so I don’t know what to do. Can you help?
Leg shaking sounds perfectly normal
I can’t masterbate I have read up on how to to see if im doing it wrong but it just never seems to pleasure me, my ex girlfriend couldn’t seen me to help me either and it annoys me because I get turned on or hornet and I can’t do anything about it any ideas or tips
Many thanks
Julie
Dear Sean,
I am a virgin. I masturbates from time to time but recently I started inserting my fingers in my hole. My questions for you are by me inserting my fingers in my hole do it make me not a virgin anymore since I broke my hymen? My second question is that even when I rub my clitoris I have a release but recently I been feeling like after I cum I just want something more. Can you tell me why I am having that feeling?
Thanks,
A
Virginity is just a societal construct. Whether you still feel like you’re a virgin with/without your hymen is up to you.
As for wanting more…Sounds like you may just want to masturbate more afterwards.
Hi Sean
I know people haven’t really commented on this article for a few months, but I came across this and I want to try it but it scares me to put my fingers or anything else there, since I am a virgin and this may be embarrassing but I don’t use tampons either for the same reason. Since your like a professional I figured I would ask you if you could give me any tips on how to get over this.
Thanks 🙂
Firstly, masturbation is completely normal and healthy, but secondly, you should never feel compelled to do something you’re not comfortable with. If you don’t want to try masturbating, then don’t. It’s as simple as that 🙂
I have never masturbated and I just can’t seem to find anything that satisfies me. I’ve been trying for about 2 months and still can’t seems to find any pleasures. What are some other ways I can satisfy myself?
Hi, I feel like I’ve tried everything but I can’t seem to orgasm and it scares me. I’ve recently just bought a vibrator to see if it helps and it does a little bit but I still can’t seem to orgasm, the vibrators good but it can kinda stop feeling good like it will feel really good then just stop. Also my body feels tense and a bit sore cus it’s so tense when I start feeling good using the vibrator but it just goes away
Check out my guide on how to orgasm for some help on this.
Hi so am i like the only one who can reach their A spot. my vaginal canal is only 4 in.
I loved this but I can’t seem to orgasm I really want to so do you have any advice.
Check out the guide on how to orgasm.
I just finished rubbing my clit and felt that intense feeling and all the while I was rubbing my clit and I was wet…….but after that I want to go again I can’t seem to get wet……is this normal…..what do I do?
Sean,
When having an orgasm does t feel like you have to pee or, do I actually just have to pee?
Sometime I think it’s kinda yellow like pee, but I’m not sure.
Thanks,
Rylee
Hi Sean!
So my issue is slightly weird. While having sex or even while masturbating, I feel okay when my clit is engaged. But a penis or even a finger in my vagina feels extremely painful and takes the pleasure away. At times it even bleeds while having sex, even though I’m not a virgin. I am trying to masturbate through vaginal stimulation, but when even entering one finger is painful, it becomes impossible. Can you please suggest me some remedies?
Talk to your doctor if you are experiencing pain/discomfort.
Hi! I need help, I’ve been on this web for a week and so but I couldn’t even take a two fingers even if i do it hurt so much that I just wanted to pull it out, fingering myself feels uncomfortable too me also. So ive been doing the pillow technique and some since it’s kinda more easier. Can anyone teach me how to feel uneasy about it?
this is no “bad girls bible” instead this “good, healthy and normal girls bible”
sean, it is wierd but i REALY WANT TO HAVE THE BIG O but i cant. please reply reply ,Emma
Hi Emma, lots of people have this issue. Check out my guide on how to orgasm for some help.
Hi Sean
It is a great topics.
I’m a man. I read this to understan about girls sothat I can give pleasure to my girl friend. My girlriend loves fingering by me. I also enjoy fingering her. She wants me to eat her pussy . I also want to but I know it is not hygenic. What should I do? Sorry to all girls for reading your privacy. Enjoy.
It’s perfectly hygenic UNLESS she has an infection.
My clit gets very sensitive where i can’t stand s/o touching it or even me, after several minutes of it feeling good. and i don’t seem to think i’ve finished either
Does this also happen when you’re masturbating?
Everytime I touch my clit or rub it against my pillow , it takes 5 or 6 minutes to have a great orgasm
For those who can’t have the big O
It’s because you can’t think dirty
You should play a porn video
And rub your clit against the pillow
For me it always works when I think about my boss/husband of my friend/bfs of my friends while watching porn videos and rub myself against the pillow
It’s not wrong if you think dirty while giving yourself pleasure
Here’s my tip:
Do some make up
Get naked
Watch yourself and rub your clit in front of a mirror
Then lay on the pillow and rub yourself against it
Have a dirty and sexy imagination
While your watching a porn video
Imagine you’re the one in the movie
Zoom in and listen to the voices
Imagine those are your moans
Immediately think about something dirty and sinful
Imagine you’re having an affair with your best friend’s husband while she’s on a vacation
Or imagine it with someone you know , the pizzaman, your co worker, your DR, your neighbor whether they are single or married
I never had sex with a married man but when I mastebate, the imagination of having sex with married man always turns me on
I love to watch a female masturbating, but it’s a rare opportunity as most of the ones I have been with don’t do it in front of others. For me, it’s one of the best forms of foreplay that I can have. Being tied and forced to watch would be an ultimate fantasy come true.
I totally agree, masturbating is really fun when watching other women do it. I feel that it brings more pleasure and relaxation. I sometimes watch porn while masturbating to make me cum more and also for the pleasure.
Yo..
Mi problema és que no me gusta usar vibrador y cuando uso la mano se me cansa o llega el placer muy rápido y me cuesta continuar, no sé como tener un orgasmo entero
While fingering myself down their or when my bf used to do it’s like pleasure for seconds then it’s a burning sensation why so please help
Have you tried lube?
Sean-
When using a vibrator or anything, I feel like I get really close to having an orgasm but can never fully finish. It’s like a bunch of built up tension and never the final explosion if you will. Any pointers?
Can you find a way to relax into it and let go? This will help push you over the edge. Our guide on how to orgasm should help.
“Don’t forget about using a dildo too” I was so confused until I discovered this website is for horny, straight Christian girls LOL
Hey Sean,
I recently started pleasuring myself and it’s been going good. I’ve never been given an orgasm so i’m not even sure if what I consider to be an orgasm is an orgasm. I start by slowly building it up by applying pressure and rubbing around my vagina and then I go in with my finger and after a bit I feel a pulse and a sort of grip around my fingers. Anyway whether that is or isn’t an orgasm I cant help but be concerned. I first started last week and have been doing it once or twice a day. It’s not that I have a routine or anything but usually around night time I start getting a sort of feeling down there and it’s like an urge i’m not sure how else to describe it. I might be confusing the exact place because it may also just be a feeling in my stomach but when I do feel that I try really hard to ignore it but if i’m in my room alone then I kind of just indulge in it and pleasure myself. Then when I finish after a couple hours it comes back. I know theres such a thing as an addiction i’ve read about it and I don’t want that to happen to me yet I don’t know what else to do because that feeling or urge won’t go away. What can I do to stop it? Or is that normal and it will pass after a while? Please help.