This discreet newsletter will teach you how to make him cum hard, give freaky oral sex & make him scream your name in bed. Click here to get it.
If you are into being stretched, fisting can be super hot. But fisting can also be incredibly dangerous and lead to injuries so bad that they can kill you. This guide will coach you on how to fist your partner safely.
What Is Fisting? Fisting Isn’t Punching!
While fisting isn’t for everyone, it can certainly seem overwhelming to those who don’t understand the difference between fisting and punching. It’s best to start by answering the question “What is fisting?”.
Side note: If you are currently struggling to orgasm during sex or masturbation, then you may want to learn about the Easy Orgasm Solution. It will teach you how to have multiple vaginal and full body orgasms during sex and masturbation. It works even if you currently struggle to orgasm during sex or when masturbating. You can find out more here.
Fisting, despite what the name suggests, doesn’t involve inserting an entire fist or even making a fist at all during the process. This is a common mistake people make when first learning how to fist fuck and discovering what fisting means.
Confusing, huh?
However, it makes the hand much bulkier and wider, and no amount of lube makes will make this comfortable for most people. As it stands, fisting isn’t going to be everyone’s cup of tea.
So what does the hand look like in fisting? Rather than being an actual fist, it’s shaped more like a duck, just like in the picture above. Fisting lovers call this the “silent duck.” Your partner will pull his pinky and index fingers toward the middle finger and fold his thumb up against the bottom of his fingers to create a duckbill shape. The more he’s able to taper his hand, the easier insertion will be.
You can engage in both anal or vaginal fisting. The latter is especially common among gay men, and it is those men who are credited with fisting’s recent rise in popularity. In fact, fisting clubs existed in the 1970s [1]. However, fisting has become popular among some straight couples since then.
If you want to give your man back-arching, toe-curling, screaming orgasms that will keep him sexually addicted to you, then you'll find them in my private and discreet newsletter. You'll also learn the 5 dangerous & "dumb" sex mistakes that turn him off and how to avoid them. Get it here.
Some people speculate that the increase of rough sex in porn correlates with an increase in rough sex activities, including fisting, in real life [2], but we’re not too worried. A kink is a kink.
But it’s not just women who enjoy fisting. Many men enjoy fisting, too, as both givers and receivers.
And…
Some people experiment with a little bit of solo fist fucking too.
A question that many people have about fist fucking is “Does fisting hurt?” The answer is pretty obvious:
Just like anal sex, fisting can be painful if you do not follow the recommended guidelines.
Why Do People Like Fisting?
There are as many reasons to enjoy specific sexual acts as there are acts to enjoy! Two people can enjoy fisting but for different reasons.
Testing Your Limits – Fisting can be appealing because you are testing your body’s limits and many people experience a sense of achievement after successful fisting. It’s hot to know you can take something so large as your partner’s hand. This is something you might have achieved when you had sex with someone who was especially well-endowed in the past! It’s even better when you’re taking something bigger.
Increased Intimacy – Another thing that fisting lovers can’t stop raving about is how it can increase intimacy. When your partner’s entire hand is inside you, after all the time and patience that it requires, it can be incredibly intimate. This isn’t to say that other types of sex aren’t intimate, but fisting can be surprisingly so!
Taboo – For others, the novelty or taboo may contribute to their enjoyment of fisting. And fisting may stimulate the G-spot or P-spot, which answers the question “Why do people like fisting?”. But you can’t know what fisting feels like until you try it yourself.
How to Start Fisting: Preparation First
Aside from hand shape, the keys to successful fisting are all about preparing. If you’re not fully ready, fisting, like anal sex, isn’t the sort of thing you should try at the spur of the moment. It’s certainly not something to try for the first time when you’re drunk and horny.
These fisting tips will help you achieve maximum success when it comes to fisting.
- Fingernails should be trimmed AND filed to avoid any nicks and cuts.
- Consider a glove, which can make things a little smoother.
- Lube is a must. Fisting often requires more lube that pretty much any other sexual activity. A thicker gel lube will do you well while some people prefer slicker silicone-based lubes. But many people prefer a creamy, oil-based lube. Coconut oil can serve for this, but remember that oil degrades condoms. Learn more about lube.
- Prepare for fisting by warming up first. At the very least, you’ll want to have inserted as many fingers as you feel comfortable with. Penetration by a dildo or vibrator or your partner’s penis will help loosen you up so fisting can be a reality. You can start with a smaller sex toy like a butt plug or anal beads and then work your way up in size. There are even dilating toys intended specifically to help stretch you out.
- An orgasm or two will never hurt, either. It kickstarts your PC muscles, which are the very ones that have to accommodate your partner’s hand. This is one time when you don’t want to do Kegels. More on that in the Kegel exercise guide.
- Remain relaxed. Try not to focus on whether or not you’re successful at fisting, especially for the first time. Focusing on your breathing can help. Get some tips from this article about Tantric sex.
- You or your partner should continue with clitoral stimulation, which will help you remain relaxed and increase pleasure.
- It’s also helpful to know your cycle. Around your period, your cervix is tougher and lower, which means it’s easier to bump in an unpleasant way during fisting or when deep thrusting.
How to Fist A Vagina: Step by Step Instructions
When you take all these factors into consideration, your fisting session will look something like the following. Your partner lubes up your vagina if it’s needed after your prior activities and his hand up to the wrist. A towel or sex blanket is great for catching any extra lube that might drip! It’s also useful if you’re a squirter.
He’ll insert two fingers and manually massage your vagina to loosen it up. When you’re comfortable, he can insert another finger. He continues to insert fingers as long as it comfortable for you, forming the duck shape with his hand. He’ll complete the shape by folding in his thumb.
The ends of the fingers will be easier to insert while his knuckles will be the widest part and need the most time and lube to insert. Once the knuckles are in, it’s smooth sailing from there.
After he’s successfully inserted, your man can experiment with a few fisting techniques. These include flexing his fingers and thumb, thrusting and rotating. Once his hand is inside you, it doesn’t need to stay in any particular position!
You can pair fist fucking with any other type of stimulation that you like — clitoral, nipple, or other erogenous zones. Meanwhile, your partner can try any of the following fisting techniques.
- Rolling the tips of his knuckles against the walls of your vagina
- Spreading his fingers
- “Waving” his fingers in your vagina
When you’re done, he’ll want to return to the silent duck position before removing his hand. But don’t do it too quickly because this can be uncomfortable. Relaxing your muscles can help your partner remove his hand.
Note that you may not achieve full insertion during your first time fisting, even if you fully prepare. It’s up to your body to cooperate, and you won’t want to push yourself too much, which could potentially lead to injury. It can take a few tries to get fisting right.
You may want to try different lube formulas too to find one that works the best for you when you’re fisting with your partner.
Furthermore, this process takes some time and should not be rushed through. After each new finger is added, your partner should pause to let you get used to the sensation.
Also: Not every type of vagina will be able to take every
Positions for Fisting With a Partner & Fisting Yourself
Most sex positions that work for fingering will work well for fisting, both anal and vaginal. You can try lying on your back while your partner fists you. Bring your knees up toward your chest if it helps.
Alternatively, lying on your side might also be comfortable, and you can bend your top leg to be more comfortable.
Finally, try getting on all fours with your partner penetrating you from behind. This position may not be ideal for longer sessions as your arms can become tired from supporting your body. You can try propping yourself up with pillows or leaning over a piece of furniture.
However, other positions may work well for fisting as well, so make sure to experiment to find what works best for you.
Fisting Yourself
When it comes to fisting yourself, any positions that allow you to comfortably penetrate your vagina or anus with your first works. Consider lying on your back or sitting.
Even lying on your side and reaching behind yourself can be comfortable depending on your flexibility. Again, make sure to do a little experimentation to find what works best for you.
Advanced Fisting Techniques
So you’ve mastered how to fist fuck and want to try something else. What options are there once you get past fisting for beginners?
- Fisting sex toys: These sex toys are designed to be larger than dildos and shaped like a hand. The duck position makes insertion easy, even if you have no partner to practice with. Too extreme for you?
- Anal fisting: Take it up a notch with anal fisting. Follow the same general steps as you would with vaginal fisting, but the anus doesn’t self-lubricate, so you might need to use more lube. If you’re into it, why not try the same with your man? Start with a little anal fingering. The anal canal ends in a ring of muscles known as the anal sphincter that is much tighter than the vaginal entrance and must first be passed by the fingers. Sometimes pushing down on those muscles can ease penetration.
- Self-fisting: Depending upon your body, this might just be impossible. However, some people have long enough arms and enough flexibility to fist themselves.
- Punching: While fisting isn’t necessarily the same as punching, some people like it. Be careful to avoid injuries, however.
- Double-fisting: Those who are experienced at fisting can try double fisting in the same orifice or taking a fist in each orifice. Although, movement is restricted with double-fisting. Again, go slow and make sure to use lots of lube!
Warning – Know the Dangers of Fisting
Fisting can be a lot of fun, but that doesn’t mean it comes without risks. This includes the possibility of tearing the vaginal entrance or walls [3]. The perineum or skin between the anus and vagina can tear from violent fisting [4]. Even micro-tears can lead to infections or make it easier to contract an STI [5]. Consider scheduling fisting after any other penetration because other activities can introduce bacteria into the vagina or anus, which might have small abrasions that could become infected.
When it comes to anal fisting, it’s especially easy to transmit an infection!
Secondly, you’ll want to be careful about your cervix. Some women don’t mind if their cervix gets jostled, but it’s uncomfortable for others.
When it comes to anal fisting, you’re are likely to cause injury the deeper you go.
Many difficulties with fisting can be overcome as long as you are vocal about what you like and don’t like, and your partner heeds your feedback. If you find it difficult to talk about sex, you might want to read our guide to sexual communication before trying fisting for the first time. This isn’t the sort of activity you want to do with a one-night stand.
Finally, you want to take as much time as possible. If you don’t get it right the first time, don’t worry! There’s always next time. And if it turns out fisting isn’t for you? At least, you can say you tried!
Is Fisting Dangerous?
You should definitely be aware of the dangers of fisting mentioned above. However, these risks can be minimized by preparing and being cautious. Vaginal injuries may be rare from fisting [3], but they are still a possibility. Remember that vaginal sex is not without its risks, either. That’s why you use condoms to prevent pregnancy and STIs, use lube, and get STI screenings. It’s not about asking “Is fisting safe?” but finding the ways to make it as safe as possible.
If you are especially susceptible to infections or prolapse, you may want to rethink fisting, but many people have safely tried it.
When you have the right partner, know how to fist and prepare for it, and take your time, you might find that this is one of those things you can’t live without!
Frequently Asked Questions
FAQ #1 – What if I bleed after fisting?
While a little bleeding may not be an emergency, you should seek immediate medical attention if you experience any excessive bleeding after fisting. Similarly, you should seek medical care if bleeding persists for several days.
This is true whether you’re bleeding after fisting vaginally or anally. Tears may need surgical repair and can become infected.
FAQ #2 – What if only one person enjoys fisting?
As with any sexual activity, there’s a possibility that only one partner will enjoy fisting. Perhaps you love what fisting feels like but your partner finds the activity to be too difficult. It’s also possible that your partner might want to continue fisting you, while you find it uncomfortable or even painful.
Regardless, no one should feel pressured to do anything in bed that they don’t want to, especially an activity such as fisting, which can cause injury if not done safely. Your partner should respect your wishes if you explain that fisting is something you don’t want to do and vice versa. A partner who doesn’t respect your sexual wishes doesn’t deserve to have sex with you.
However, if you two are willing to cooperate, you might find a middle ground. For example, you may engage in fisting for a special occasion or simply stick to as many fingers as can be comfortably inserted without full fisting. Large toys may also allow you to experience the filling feeling of fisting, even if you don’t have a partner.
FAQ #3 – Can fisting cause injury?
One of the risks of fisting, especially anal fisting, is anal prolapse, where the rectum wall loosens and becomes visible outside of the rectal canal. This can occur if your activities are too rough or you use numbing products during fisting. The vagina can similarly prolapse.
While anal fisting doesn’t cause hemorrhoids, it can irritate them. Anal sex may contribute to higher levels of anal incontinence [6], especially in women, and it’s reasonable to assume that anal fisting may do the same.
A sudden pop or tear can occur from stretching vaginal and anal tissues, and large tears known as fistulas can occur over time. There is a possibility of a perforated colon too, and air and blood can become displaced into other areas of the body [7]. Any tears in the vagina or rectum can become infected. Untreated infections can lead to death [8], and there have been several deaths reported as a result of fisting [9, 10, 11].
However, many of these injuries can be avoided by taking things slow, using lube, trimming nails, wearing gloves, listening to your body, and NEVER experimenting with fisting while under the influence.
Share Your Experience
Have you tried fisting? Do you love it or hate it? Perhaps you have fisting tips from experience. Let us know in the comments section!
Orgasm Every Time. Easily. Here’s How...
I want to tell you about my friend Karen.
Karen came to me one day. She was hysterical.
She told me that her marriage was falling apart because she and her husband didn’t have satisfying sex.
Every time they were intimate, Karen was faking her orgasms. It turns out she couldn’t orgasm during sex.
In fact...
She never had an orgasm in her entire life. Not one!
This left her feeling embarrassed and ashamed.
Even worse...
She stopped wanting sex with her husband, slowly driving him away, and...
Almost destroying her marriage. Thankfully...
It turns out that there is a simple solution for women who struggle to orgasm, whether you are having sex or masturbating.
I shared the process with Karen.
After she followed the simple process, she could barely come to terms with how...
Quickly and dramatically her sex life changed.
We met up a few months later and...
She would not stop talking about it,
“I thought I was one of those women who couldn’t orgasm. I used to think I was ‘broken’ and ‘unfixable.’ This saved my sex life, and that saved my marriage.”
Even if you currently struggle to orgasm during sex or while masturbating, this process will also work for you.
And best of all, you don’t need to do anything weird or uncomfortable to start having the best orgasms and sex of your life.
Laura says
Is there a way to prep the perinium? To make it softer?
Beth says
I used coconut oil!
Ana says
I suggest introducing during playtime perineal massage for a few weeks. Then you progressively try. Remember, if it hurts, step a notch back. For your safety, never use numbing agents. It may take weeks to get to do it confortably, but the reward is amazing. At the very least, you gain trust in yourself and your body. Most probably the intimacy level with your SO will go off the charts ?
Glen says
If doing it analy how long roughly would you say to train your but to except someone stretching your anus ready for you to be fisted I know it could be a while but just wondering a rough time
Sean Jameson says
You’re not going to like this answer, but it depends.
Salvatore says
I have a question…
My girlfriend and I have discussed fisting extensively. I was the one who first brought it up. I want her to fist my anus.
While she isn’t as experienced as I am sexually, she has, to my delight, become my Mistress too.
She’s read a lot about fisting, and I have forwarded this page to her.
I have a QUESTION which I can’t find the answer to online. …
What does the Fister do with their hand and fingers once it’s inside my anus??
– mostly keep it in the same positon?
– open her hand ?
– massage the prostate or other things inside the anus?
– mostly go in and out?
Thank you,
Salvatore
PS Both of us can’t wait to introduce fisting into our love life and Dom/sub relationship.
It’s not at all about pain for us, or a punishment. Its about moving to different things, experiencing, and achieving a higher level of pleasure and intimacy.
Sean Jameson says
My advice on this is simple. Do what feels pleasurable. If keeping them in the same position feels best, do that. But the same is true for any movement/lack of movement during fisting.
michael says
That was awesome. I’m new to the fisting experience. I can just about get my own fist up there. Keep practicing, you’ll get it. Good luck 👍
Sally Whore’baugh says
Great info. I’ll definitely give it a shot. Do you think I should try it anally?
Sean Jameson says
If you want to and are with a partner you trust
Steve Belgernane says
How can I comfortably fist my self without bleeding?
Sean Jameson says
Take it slow and stop when you feel pain. You want to slowly build up to it (which can take months) by slowly stretching yourself.
Ben Salvent says
I have a girlfriend who likes fisting, but I don’t. How do I break it to her without loosing her as a girlfriend?
Sean Jameson says
Talk. It’s perfectly fine not to enjoy one of your partner’s preferences. My advice is to talk to her.
Embarrassed but curious says
I want to try vaginal fisting but I’m afraid to bring it up with my SO. Afraid of embassment as it happens easily. Any recommendations for me/us?
Sean Jameson says
Honestly, just talk to them
Nick says
I start to anal fistmyself several years ago. Now i can fist myself with almost my whole arm, the feeling is incredible. For all who wants to do self fisting use tons of lube.
Jim says
Fisting is so hot the wife loves it and the intense Orgasm is so hot makes her feel amazing. Coconut oil works great.
enrique cassino says
probe el fisting anal dilatandome yo mismo previamente con dildos limpios. utilizaba una crema comun. si me costaba mucho utilizar un tamaño, volvia al anterior con mucho cuidado y mayor lubricacion. es importante saber que el ano no tiene autolubricacion. los lubricantes acuosos como el j lube son espectaculares, pero deben estar en dispensers adecuados, ya que vuelven todo resbaloso, ensuciando sabanas, toallas y el piso y volviendolo una verdadera pista de patinaje. Como dije, la dilatacion debe ser gradual. En verdad, el fist es un entrenamiento, y uno debe preparar el musculo antes. tenia hasta un numero determinado de dilatacion. luego probaba introduciendo de nuevo ese dildo, con aun mas lubricante, y pequeñas candles de iluminacion tambien lubricadas de 1 cm. eso me ayudaba a que el musculo se acostumbrara, hasta que estuve listo. no me costo cuando encontre un partenaire adecuado. estaba listo. evite consumir todo tipo de pornografia al respecto sabiendo que era un material editado y con mucha fantasia. Los dedos siempre pueden introducirse, pero de a uno, y haciendo presion con la yema de cada dedo sobre el esfinter, hasta que este permite el paso. retirar con cuidado, lubricar y probar varias veces, antes de pasar al siguiente. nunca excederse. tiempo, paciencia y practica. nunca con aventuras de una noche. necesita paciencia, intimidad y seguridad. exitos.
Bandit says
Is it normal to feel a slight burn as everything is being stretched during fisting its not uncomfortable to say but just like a slight burning when everything is stretching
Sean Jameson says
Does this feeling last? Have you talked to your doctor about it?