How to Use Lube for Total Pleasure During Sex + Masturbation

There is a right way to use lube (more pleasure, sensation & easier orgasms) and a wrong way to use lube (pain, irritation & lousy sex). This guide will show you how to use it the right way.

Main lube rule – Use lube where you want extra moisture and less friction. This might mean putting it around an opening, inside your vagina/anus, applying it to the body part or item that will be inserted, or both. It’s all about what feels best for you.

Below are more specific tips on how to apply lube…

How to Apply Lube to the Vulva and Vagina

Where you apply lube for sex is up to you. You can apply it to your vulva, which can make clitoral stimulation better. But if you don’t need or like using personal lubrication externally, you can absolutely save it for penetration. Yes, lube can go inside you. After all, how else would it work?

It’s generally easier to apply lube as a female by putting it in your hand first and inserting your fingers to put the lube inside your body.

Related: How to finger yourself to orgasm – 8 techniques.

How to Apply Lube to a Penis

While you can drip, pump, or squeeze lube directly onto your partner’s penis, you might prefer putting it in your hand and stroking it onto them first. This offers more equal coverage and is usually less messy.

This is also the perfect time to give your man a hand job (23 intense hand job tips).

How to Apply Lube Anally

You can squirt lube onto/around the anus and rub it around the outside of the anus.

Next, cover your a finger(s) in lube and press it inside the anus. This will help to spread the lube inside, making penetration smoother and easier. This is also fantastic if you are into anally fingering your partner.

Sidenote: Many people love the look of a shiny ass, so don’t be afraid to rub it all around!

How to Apply Lube to Your Fingers

This one is pretty self-explanatory. But…

There is one thing to keep in mind:

Make sure you fully cover every part of your finger in lube if you are using it for penetration. If you don’t, the unlubed areas of skin can “catch” during penetration, causing pain/discomfort.

How to Apply Lube to Sex Toys

Applying lubricant to a sex toy like a dildo is a lot like applying lube to a penis. You can drip some on or put some on your hand and then rub it over the toy (if it is insertable).

Read next: How to use a dildo for maximum self pleasure.

With toys, putting on lube can be different because it doesn’t absorb into the toy. As a result, it may be more likely to run off compared to when applied to the skin. If this is an issue for you, consider a thicker gel lube.

You may find it’s enough to coat your toy, then insert it vaginally or anally. But it can be a good idea to also apply lube to the vagina/anus too.

Anal play: How to use a butt plug for anal orgasms.

How to Apply Lube Without Making a Mess

In short? Lube is messy.

It’s wet.

And, sometimes it just makes a mess…

But you can minimize the mess.

1. First, start by squirting or pumping your sexual lubricant into your hand and rubbing it on your/your partner’s body.
2. Next, try using less and adding more as needed. This avoids you using too much lube and having it drip all over.
3. You can also try using a thicker lube, like a gel or even a cream-based lube.
4. Rather than spreading the lube on the outside of your body, use it internally only to make less of a mess.
5. Don’t forget that the container matters. If you struggle to get lube out, you might make more of a mess. Many people like pump bottles because they’re easy to control how much lube you dispense, and can be used one-handed. You can pour your lube into a container with a nice pump (or whichever container you prefer).
6. If you’re very serious about lube, then you can use an automated lube dispenser. It’s very similar to those motion-activated soap dispensers in some bathrooms.

On that note, put down a towel or sex blanket on the bed so you don’t have to worry about things getting wet or the lube staining your linens.

The Pros and Cons of Every Type of Lube

Below is a breakdown of the different types of lube, as there are some major differences. At the end of the day, personal preference and your unique body will make the final call when it comes to picking the right lube for you.

Water based

Think of water-based as the basic type of lube, like the lubricant jelly on the pharmacy shelf.

Pros – It’s easy to find, affordable, and safe to use with condoms. It can be thicker or thinner, replenished with water or spit, and washes off easily. You’ve also got your choice of textures or sensations.

Cons – water-based lube can dry out quickly and get sticky as it does. It might also contain some ingredients you might want to avoid.

Silicone based

Pros – Silicone-based lubes are super slick, which makes them fantastic when you need more than water-based lube can offer. They don’t dissolve in water, making sex in water more enjoyable.

Silicone lube is also condom-safe. You’ll usually find silicone lube in any place you can buy water-based lube.

Cons – But they may not be compatible with silicone sex toys and don’t always feel natural.

Oil based

Pros – An oil-based lube typically feels extra creamy and slick, which makes it good for hand jobs and masturbating a penis. Oil-based lubes may be solid at room temperature, which makes them easy to work with. They can also work well to make anal sex pain-free.

Cons – Oil-based lubes are not compatible with latex products, including condoms and sex toys, and using oil vaginally could lead to a biofilm remaining that causes issues like bacterial vaginosis aka BV.

Hybrid

Hybrid lubes are a combination of water, silicone, or oil-based lube that are intended to be the best of both worlds. For example, a water-silicone hybrid lube would be slicker and longer-lasting than a purely water-based lube but easier to wash off than a silicone lube. Silicone hybrids may also be safer to use with silicone toys because they contain less silicone.

Cum

“Cum lube” is made to mimic the look and feel of ejaculate, so it’s usually white, creamy, and thicker than some other lubes. You can use it with ejaculating toys to make the experience more realistic.

Spermicidal

This type of lube is intended to help you not get pregnant, which is why you sometimes find it in condoms. It sounds great in theory, but in practice, the active ingredient in these products, nonoxynol-9, is really abrasive. This can cause irritation and lead to infections, which is why the World Health Organization (WHO) no longer recommends spermicide.

In short..

Spermicidal lube is not vagina-friendly!

You shouldn’t use it.

Even newer contraceptive gels that don’t use nonoxynol-9 pose some of the same risks. If you’re concerned about pregnancy, you might combine a barrier method of contraception, such as condoms or a cervical cap, with a hormonal method (AKA birth control).

Flavored

Flavored lubes are designed for when your partner is performing oral sex. This can include

• Cunnilingus (tips on how to perform cunnilingus)
• Blow jobs (how to give a great blow job)
• Ass eating (how to eat ass like a pro)

They’re often sweet-tasting and smelling, and can make the experience more pleasant for the giver.

Vaginal moisturizer

Vaginal moisturizer isn’t technically lube. It’s a product you use regularly to coat the lining of your vagina and make you more comfortable, like using lotion for dry skin. You apply some vaginal moisturizer to a clean finger and massage it into your vaginal walls.

Vaginal moisturizers are often recommended during menopause, when hormonal changes can affect your body. While they can help with dryness and make sex more comfortable, it’s more about your health.

You can use lube with moisturizers.

More menopause tips: How to have great sex after menopause.

Saliva

Spit isn’t really a lube, although it can do the job in a pinch. If you like spitting during sex, feel free to keep it up. But consider adding lube into the mix if frictionless and comfortable sex is your goal.

How to Use Lube with Condoms

This may seem like a crazy-basic topic, but…

Many people don’t know how to properly use lube with condoms. Yikes!

Outside – Many people will apply a bit of lube to the outside of the condom. This is great as it will make sex better for the receiving partner.

However, there’s more you can do…

Inside – Apply a small amount of lube to the tip or end of the condom before you roll it on the penis. This can really make things more enjoyable for the penetrating partner, too!

How to Use Lube with Sex Toys

Sex toys and lube don’t always get along well, but the warnings are often stronger than they need to be.

For starters, you can always use water-based lube with sex toys. But water-based lube may not last long enough or you may not like the texture, so you may want to use something else.

Danger – Silicone lube is the obvious answer, but some silicone toys and some silicone lube may not play nicely together. This is especially true of lower-quality items and softer toys. A chemical reaction can occur.

The science – The molecules can bond together, ruining the finish of your silicone vibe or dildo. This chemical reaction could also potentially negate a toy’s nonporous state, which is what makes silicone so body-friendly. Painted silicone or silicone with a realistic texture is more likely to be impacted by silicone lube than more rigid silicone.

To see if your toy and lube is compatible, you can do a patch test by applying a little of the lube on a part of the toy that you wouldn’t normally play with, such as the base, and rubbing vigorously for 5 to 10 minutes to simulate use. If the toy becomes tacky or sticky, consider it incompatible with that lube.

Vibrator fun: How to use a vibrator for intense orgasms.

Solution – You can always use a condom with insertable silicone toys if you prefer to use silicone lube.

Oil based lubes? – Oil-based lubes are also not compatible with silicone or latex toys, so it might be best to avoid using them with any toy.

Read More: How to use every type of sex toy during masturbation and sex.

How to Use Lube to Spice Up Sex

If you specifically want to know how to use lube during sex to make it hotter, look no further.

New sensations – Some lubes give you additional sensations. These include warming, cooling, and tingling sensations, which can make even standard sex feel much different. Some products become more intense when you blow on them, and you’ll even find couples’ lubes that combine multiple sensations.

Hand jobs – Using lube can make hand jobs feel much better for your partner because your hand will move more easily. This podcast will teach you some really powerful hand job techniques:

Fingering – You can use lube when fingering internally or externally to make things slicker. Lube can make penetration easier and let you do it for longer.

Read now: How to finger a girl – 15 techniques.

Massage – The slickness of silicone lube makes it an option for an erotic massage. Many people especially love coating their bodies in lube. You can move to intercourse or other activities using the same lube after you’re fully relaxed.

Titty fucking – Applying lube to your breasts is a must if you want to try titty fucking. Otherwise, it will be too rough for your partner’s penis.

How to Use Lube When Trying to Get Pregnant

Getting pregnant isn’t always easy or instant. Sometimes it can take a lot of time, and you might need medical intervention. So you don’t want to use lube that might make it harder to get pregnant.

Do not use spermicidal lube – Obviously, you should avoid using spermicidal lube if you want to get pregnant.

Any other lube might still not be super friendly to sperm, though.

What the science says – In fact, one study called most vaginal lubricants “sperm toxic” [1]. This is especially true for sperm with a high osmolality. This measure of solid particles in the lube, and sperm, and different body parts each has its own osmolality.

Sperm has an osmolality roughly between 280 and 360 mOsm/kg. While you can find lube in that range, most lubes don’t list osmolality, and some can be as high as the thousands, with most “lubricants present[ing] pH and/or osmolality values outside the ranges recommended by the WHO” [2]. Luckily, pretty much any lube that does list this measurement is likely to be in a healthier range.

Some lubes are designed to help your sperm – These trying-to-conceive or TTC lubes are designed to be sperm-friendly. These products work by decreasing any potential damage to sperm. But if you need more lubrication than what fertility lubricants offer, look for one in the same osmolality range as sperm.

How to Use Lube When Already Pregnant

Once you are pregnant, however, you don’t need a special lube, although you may find that you need more or less of it, and this might vary depending on how far along you are. You can use your favorite standard lube or even keep using your TTC lube if you like it and don’t mind using a more expensive product regularly.

You can also check out these pregnant sex positions to keep things comfy.

How to Use Lube in Water

If you want to use lube in water, including when having sex in the shower, pool, or hot tub, the standard water-based lube won’t help. That’s because it will rinse off with water, so you’ll need something else. Silicone lube is your friend in these situations!

You might also want to apply lubricant for sex before you get into the shower because wet hands aren’t the best for grasping bottles or tubes. This can also prevent you from spilling lube in the shower or tub, and avoid a potentially dangerous situation.

Situations Where Lube May Be Necessary and Useful

You don’t need a specific reason to use lube because almost any sexual activity can be improved by using it. Using lube is normal and common and not a sign that anything is wrong.

However, the situations below may mean you have to use lube or may need to use more of it or a specific type because you can’t get wet, whether you’re aroused or not, which can lead to discomfort, pain, or even tearing of your sensitive tissues.

• If you’re dryer during certain parts of your cycle
• If you’re in perimenopause and menopause, especially if you have thinning vaginal tissue
• If you’re pregnant
• If you’re engaging in anal sex. 28 wild anal sex positions
• If you use a sex position that makes penetration harder
• If you take medications, such as SSRIs, birth control, allergy or blood pressure medicine that make it hard to get wet
• If your toy or partner is large or you’re trying fisting

Related: Big penis sex – the good, the bad and the painful

While lube can help with some of the symptoms of these issues, you may also benefit from treating the underlying condition. This may mean working on your body image, fixing or ending your relationship, practicing mindfulness, incorporating more foreplay into your sex life, using a vibrator, starting hormone therapy, using a vaginal moisturizer or taking other medications that might help with sexual desire, getting aroused, and lubrication.

Speaking of mindfulness, this podcast will help you learn how mindfulness can increase your sexual pleasure.

Get: Tips for getting wet fast.

Experiment with Using Different Lubes

No one said you’re only limited to one lube. In fact, some lubes work better for certain activities or sex techniques.

For example, you might like a thinner lube for vaginal sex but prefer a thicker lubricant gel for sex toys or anal sex, and opt for flavored lube for oral sex.

How to Avoid Using Lubricants That Cause Irritation

If you’re worried about potential irritation when using lube for sex, you’re not alone. Lube sometimes can cause irritation, and no one enjoys painful sex.

1. First, only use personal lubricants that are safe for insertion.
2. Don’t use lotion, vaseline, soap, or any other product, no matter how slick it is or how horny you are. These products can hurt and cause an infection.
3. When it comes to lube, consider the osmolality of the lube. As we mentioned, this is a measurement of solid particles in the formula. A higher osmolality = more solid particles = more chance for irritation from micro-abrasions.
4. The types of lubricant that you’re typically going to find in grocery and drug stores can actually increase the risk of irritation, infection, and STI transmission.

If you’ve got sensitive skin, you might want to avoid some ingredients that can be more likely to cause irritation:

• Glycerin
• Propylene glycol
• Parabens
• Acetate
• Nonoxynol-9

Another ingredient some people may want to avoid is L-arginine, which isn’t commonly found in lube but may be found in products designed to increase sensation, arousal, and orgasm. L-arginine may trigger herpes outbreaks in those who are extra-sensitive to it.

It’s sometimes impossible to avoid irritation because all bodies are unique, and lube can interact with other products. You might be fine with certain problematic ingredients but find that your body reacts to hypoallergenic lube.

Sensitive skin? – For those with sensitive skin, sticking to natural or organic lube with a short ingredient list is smart. Many people consider silicone to be generally hypoallergenic. But not everyone likes silicone lube, and it’s not always compatible with toys, so water-based lube is sometimes necessary.

The issue with sensation lube – You should always be careful with sensation lube, which can be far more intense than you intend. These sensations usually become more intense with friction or when combined, too (as is the case with couples’ lubricants).

You can test a little warming or cooling lube on the sensitive skin of your inner thigh by applying some and rubbing it in. If it’s too intense there, it’ll definitely be intense if used internally!

It may also be smart to mix a little sensation lube with your favorite standard lube the first time see how it feels. But if you jump in headfirst, be prepared for an uncomfortable burning or freezing sensation that may lead you to want to wash off the lube right away…

Which brings us to our next point!

How to Remove Lube

Generally, lube will dry out or absorb during your activities, but if you’re feeling wet or even sticky afterward, you may want to wipe off the remainder with a towel or take a shower if you feel especially messy. Water-based lube will easily wash off with soap and water, while you might need something like dish soap to break through a thick layer of oil-based lube or silicone lube, which won’t break down with water alone.

Now you know exactly how to use lube during sex and what to look for in a good lube. So grab yourself a bottle and start playing!