This discreet newsletter will teach you how to give him freaky oral sex & make him scream your name in bed. Click here to get it.
Don’t you just love oral sex? When your partner’s sole intent is to provide you with pleasure, it can be a mindblowing experience – and it’s one that comes without the risk of pregnancy! However, you may have run into some stumbling blocks when it comes to getting a guy to go down on you and make you orgasm.It may be due to previous negative experiences, a misunderstanding of how the vagina or vulva works or simply personal preferences. In many cases, you can make the experience more pleasant or explain how important it is that he eats you out.
Side note: Get him to use these pussy eating techniques
Side note: If you are currently struggling to orgasm during sex or masturbation, then you may want to learn about the Easy Orgasm Solution. It will teach you how to have multiple vaginal and full body orgasms during sex and masturbation. It works even if you currently struggle to orgasm during sex or when masturbating. You can find out more here.
Preparation Before Getting Your Man to Go Down on You
There’s no doubt about it, receiving oral sex isn’t usually a great idea with just a moment’s notice. If you’ve ever tried to give a guy a blow job after a particularly active day or when he hasn’t had a chance to shower, you might have been turned off by the odors and tastes down there. Some men are often particularly sensitive about the smell and taste of their clitoris and vagina, so you’re not alone in this thinking.
Related: How to make your vagina taste and smell like a peach
However, you can use this knowledge to ensure both you and your partner will be comfortable when it comes time for a good tongue ravishing on your clit.
You’ve probably heard that you should never use soap inside your vagina, which is true because your vagina is self cleaning and cleansing products can actually upset the healthy bacteria and natural pH balance. All you need is a water rinse inside. However, you can use a gentle and non-scented soap.
Related: If you want to give your man back-arching, toe-curling, screaming orgasms that will keep him sexually addicted to you, then you'll find them in my private and discreet newsletter. You'll also learn the 5 dangerous & "dumb" sex mistakes that turn him off and how to avoid them. Get it here.
If you feel like you could freshen up but a shower isn’t in the cards, you have options. Several companies also make cleansing wipes for sex.
However, you don’t need a product specifically for sex. Wet wipes made for the bathroom will do just as well and are more inconspicuous.
Cleanliness isn’t the only factor that contributes to whether your partner will happily go down on you. Presentation can be a big deal.
To Shave or Not?
While we would never recommend that you alter your natural pubic hair – and pubic hair is just that: natural – to please someone else, you might find that you enjoy having a Brazilian wax, being shaved, trimmed or even having pubic hair cropped to create a cute design. Your partner might have no real preference, but ask to be sure if you’d like to learn how to please him.
A little landscaping goes a long way, so you don’t necessarily have to shave it bare or even shave at all because we all know how sensitive skin can become under the constant graze of a razor blade. An even trim makes your clit and vulva more accessible to your partner while reducing the chances of a stray hair getting caught in his throat.
You might even find that you like being able to wear more formfitting underwear or swimwear after trimming.
Consider using flavored lube. This might be one trick you use when giving head to your man to provide a more pleasant experience. If he’s at all worried about it being unpleasant, keep a bottle of his favorite flavored lube within reach. Finally, you can often make the experience more pleasant by holding aside your labia to provide easier access to your clit and more breathing room.
Some men do this automatically, but there’s nothing stopping you from reaching down to give a helping hand. You can even use some masturbation techniques on your clit while he uses his best oral sex techniques on you.
How to Get Him to Go Down on You
Perhaps the first thing you should do it show him this study on how many women like to have their pussy eaten.
Of course, no one wants to actually force their partners to do anything that isn’t kosher outside of a healthy powerplay or femdom relationship (speaking of powerplay, here’s some tips on how to be more dominant). So what can you do if all your preparation and invitation has been shunned?
It might be time for a serious discussion, especially if you’re having difficulty achieving orgasm any other way.
Related: How to orgasm easily
It might be easier getting a guy to go down on you if he realizes that you’re unable to orgasm from penetration alone, which is often the case for women. Stimulation of the clitoris won’t naturally happen with every body. The further your clitoris is from your vaginal opening, the less likely it gets any stimulation during sex unless you or your partner stimulates it either manually or with a sex toy.
Furthermore, that may not be enough to get you off. For some women, oral sex is more effective than any other type of stimulation.
Even if you’re unable to orgasm through oral sex, which is entirely natural and no reason to stress, it can still be incredibly arousing and provide a bonding opportunity for you and your man.
Also: How to get horny
Stress how good a blowjob feels for him even when he doesn’t cum from it (more blow job techniques). If he needs help, remind him by reciprocating. If you’re wondering how to get him to go down on you, suggest the 69 position or a similar position where you’re pleasing one another simultaneously.
Finally, you can emphasize that you want to feel closer to your partner through oral sex. There are few things so intimate as when your man’s face is between your legs and his tongue is working at your clit to make you cum. It can feel pleasurable and powerful in a way that women don’t often get to experience.
He should read this: 25 techniques to make a woman cum hard
If you’re partner understands the significance of oral sex to you, it can make his decision to lavish you with his tongue much easier. He may also be interested in trying out some of these excellent clitoral stimulation techniques when he does go down on you and starts eating you out.
What Not to Do When Getting Your Man to Go Down On You
Nagging – If you’ve ever been in a position where someone wanted something from you that you didn’t want to give, you know how ineffective nagging can be. Even worse, it often leads to fights. It can also be a huge turn off for him…here are 9 other turn offs for men that you’ll want to avoid.
Avoid criticism, especially after sex – You might want to bring up suggestions outside of the bedroom – and certainly not as a criticism directly after sex – to get your partner in the mood. Honey catches more flies than vinegar, and you certainly want your partner buzzing around your honey pot.
You also want to stay away from passive-aggressive territory, where you refuse any type of sex because your partner doesn’t want to go down on you. This is unhealthy for any relationship, and if yours is simply a sexbased exchange, you may want to consider finding another partner, instead.
Guilt or fighting with your partner can associate negative thoughts and feelings with going down on you, which is often counterproductive when you’re trying to encourage that behavior. Keep communication calm and civil otherwise you risk creating a toxic relationship situation.
Related: Improve your sexual communication
Final Thoughts On Getting a Guy to Go Down On You
Many women have a difficult time allowing their partners to go down on them, so it’s not so much a question of getting your man to go down on you as it is being comfortable enough to allow him – especially if it’s your first time.
If you’re in a healthy and trusting relationship, you might ease the tension with a glass or two of wine. We recommend mixing alcohol and sex only when you have an established relationship with a sexual partner and not drinking to excess, which can introduces a whole slew of problems to the bedroom besides drunk sex. A glass of wine before bed can be good for your heart and your sex life.
If you’re tried everything listed, your partner may simply be one that doesn’t – and won’t ever – like to perform oral on you. It’s up to you to choose whether you’re sexually compatible, but you can also consider a few sex toys that mimic oral sex. Although it’s not exactly like the real thing, it provides another option if you’re committed to making your relationship work sans oral love.
Your partner might simply need time and reassurance, however. Gentle encouragement and positive reinforcement are often all that you need to do if you want your partner to come around about making you cum through oral.
Allow your partner to work up to longer and more intense cunnilingus sessions and don’t emotionally or physically force him to do anything he doesn’t want to do. Although you might be eager, this could be damaging to both your sexual and emotional relationship.
However, the effort and patience will be well worth it once you can reap the benefits of oral sex and your partner can see how how much it pleases to you to be on the receiving end. Try these tips for yourself to see how your sex life can be improved with amazing oral sex!
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I really enjoy your blog. Have your books and look forward to your emails. I love giving my man blow jobs. I a
do something that I have yet to see you mention and my guy thinks its crazy hot. When we have reached orgasm together when I’m on top I’ll pull off and go down on him. Very gently giving him a soft slow clean up job. Drives him crazy and he thinks its really hot. I bet its not a thing that all women would be willing to try, but if they are adventurous it might make their man never forget it.
Bloody cupcake says
Amen, I do the same thing. He loves it and it is an excellent way to bond and shower him with extra care.
I love ur emails…the majority of the time they validate my sex life and behaviors. While I don’t think most of us (women) will get as much oral as we give, that’s ok…I love both. I just want to get him to have sex more!! I’m 42 and have a very healthy sex drive…I have always had a higher drive than my husband (together for 10 years), but I usually can get him going. Lately it’s been challenging to get him to be intimate and we actually argue about it,,,well, I talk and then sometimes end up yelling (I’m a NYer, it’s normal) after getting rejected asking and approaching him. He loves having sex with me and so do I (lasting a little longer would always be nice) but for him to make a move is so incredibly rare and totally annoying!! Any suggestions? He is 45 and taking testosterone/anti estrogen replacement…OMG, before that it was non-existent!! I am willing to do anything to make him happy…we are very adventurous once I get him going!! LOL
Okay, so before sex or just 8n the morning after he has taken a shower I’ll go down on him… or I’ll take a shower and wear my nice chests print robe and nice panties, and he still womt go down on me I’m not trying to be mean and ask him or anything even though he has been hinting for me to give him a bj… please help me fix this I try hinting and it still doesnt work… it’s been awhile since I’ve gotten anything in return
Sean Jameson says
You need to talk to him V and discover what his reluctance is being caused by and then see if you can both work together to overcome it.
Mr BDL says
I love to eat my wife’s pussy and I love the taste of my pre-come. The thought of eating my come from her pussy is an overwhelming turn on for me. However after I come inside her, that thought has drifted away. How can I overcome this and continually stay engaged in the love making and finalize our wonderful love and sex sessions by eating her come filled pussy afterwards ?
Sean Jameson says
You could just wait a while (an hour or two) to see if that feeling returns. Of course, you’re wife may want to clean up in the meantime
My boyfriend and I haven’t gave head to anybody but we are interested in trying it out. What should we do since we both don’t have experience ?
Sean Jameson says
Check out the Blow Job Guide and the Guide to Eating Pussy Like a God
I love sucking my man off. It turns me on and makes me wet just thinking about it. I have always loved sucking cock, but was an oral sex virgin til I was 50. Married 25 years, my husband never went down on me and he would never let me suck him to orgasm. I never knew what I was missing.
It wasn’t until he cut me off sexually all together, without explanation, that I realized how much I resented his selfishness and went outside our marriage and found what I needed.
For the past 6 years I have experienced the most amazing, erotic and pleasurable oral sex imaginable. Not to mention incredible love-making, I never knew my mouth could create such heated pleasure for both a man and myself. My FWB has made me cum more and harder in our 6 years of secret meetings that my husband had in 20 years. He makes me moan in total extasy and i love giving him those back arching orgasms whenever possible.
I read a book years ago called the Clitoral Kiss. The book was an early explanation of your orgasmic teniques that I have continually perfected and come to rely on for my own pleasure as well as his.
I know there are millions of women who don’t enjoy sucking cock, but I am convinced that if you don’t enjoy it, you are either doing it wrong or doing it with the wrong person.
More PC nonsense. He better get down there or he’ll get my foot in his ass. He has no fking choice. Female privilege? Sure, I’ll use it
I love to go down om my partners pussey. I stick my tounger down in to her pussey hole and lick around in it. By now she is moaning and groaning. At this point i start finger fucking her and a witch my tounge up to her clity. She is now in orgasm stage and my lady is flying high. . Her pussy cum tastes smooth and sweet and her orgasm is long and lasting. Once she comes down off her high, she gives me a choice of fucking her pussy and cumming inside her or giving me a blowjob and letting me come in her mouth and gulps and swallows all my cum. Its a fantastic feeling. This is our way of keeping eack other satisfied and happy..Every now and then. We will have a good ole fuck. The main thing is , HAVE A VARITIY OF LOVE MAKEING ROUNDS. FUCKING CAN BE SO FANTASTIC [email protected]!
Jeff Stone says
You didn’t mention cleaning both holes. My first wife was always clean. she tasted and smelled great every time. I loved oral sex with her. She swore it was from a steady diet of citrus, pineapple and maraschino cherries. We’re still friends but parted ways. We would occasionally “hook up” after but not after I got married.
My second marriage (God love her). She looks great and clean but must have a phobia about cleaning her butt hole.
It’s such a turn off to be down there and get a whiff of donkey ass. Needless to say I rarely go down on her anymore and doggy style is out of the question. I’ve tried hinting but she just doesn’t get it. I don’t want to be mean but the thrill is gone. Ladies, don’t neglect that other orifice!
Sean Jameson says
Is there a way to talk to her about this?
What about taking a shower together before sex?