5 Explosive Techniques: How To Finger Yourself To Orgasm

In this guide, I’m going to show you some really powerful techniques you can use to learn how to finger yourself and have incredible orgasms. (Guys will also learn a ton from this article too on how to please women…so if you’re a guy reading…pay attention!)


Quick Note: If you want to learn my most powerful dirty talking phrases, tips & techniques, then you will learn a lot from this dirty talking tutorial video. Enjoy!

I’ve structured the article very carefully so that you get maximum benefit from it. First I’m going to show you how to get yourself aroused and turned on…this is super important if you want to get the most out of these fingering techniques. Then I’m going to show you the techniques themselves. By the way, these are just a few of the fingering techniques I teach. You can learn even more in the article on squirtingthis one on masturbation and this other one too.

Ok, let’s jump in…

Getting Aroused, Turned On & In The Mood

I want to cut to the chase and give you the most important things you can do to ‘get in the mood’. Please don’t skip this part. Without getting properly aroused and turned on first, your orgasms will likely not be as intense….and I’m guessing you want some intense orgasms, right?

Relaxed & Stress Free – Getting relaxed and being as stress free as possible is vital. Have you ever noticed that when you’re stressed out and fatigued, it can be hard to get aroused and feel sexy? Scientific research even backs this up.

Privacy – Having some place quiet that you can go to and not be disturbed is key. For most people this will be your bedroom. But if you share your room with someone else, then you may have to use the bathroom or shower as your private place to try these fingering techniques.

Atmosphere – Getting aroused has both a psychological and a physical component. I know that sounded a little ‘scientific’ and not so fun, but it’s true. You need to get your brain turned on as well as your body. To get yourself physically aroused (your body), you’re going to need to touch and caress yourself, specifically your erogenous zones. Even using a vibrator can help.

Get More Free Sex Tips

Inside the Bad Girl's Bible you will learn:

  •  3 More Killer Blowjob Techniques to give your man incredible oral sex.
  •  5 'Dumb' Mistakes that will ruin your sex life.
  •  I will show you 4 weird sex tips that will help make him addicted to you.
  •  It's free. It's discreet. It's 100% private.

To get psychologically turned on (your brain), there are a lot of potential things you can do:

  • Burn incense
  • Light candles
  • Watch some porn
  • Listen to music
  • Read some romance/erotica

Your Heroin – The last and most important thing to consider to getting yourself aroused is what I like to call ‘your heroin’. I’m not talking about the hard drug here, lol! I’m referring to the one thing that always works for you to get yourself worked up. It could be reading a certain piece of erotica. It could be thinking of a certain guy or fantasizing about a certain situation that really gets you going or it could be something else entirely.

The important thing is discovering it and then using it to help get yourself aroused.

1. How To Finger Yourself – Basic Technique

Quick Note: Make sure to trim and file your fingernails beforehand to prevent any accidents.

Once you are set up and in the mood, it’s time to start fingering yourself. Start by lowering your hand from your breasts, down to over your stomach until you can feel your clitoris which is located outside your vagina and just above it as you can see in the diagram below.


Below your clit, using just one finger, you will be able to feel fleshy folds of skin on either side of your vagina. These are your labia.

To be scientific about it, the outer fold on each side is called the labia majora which is much bigger, while the inner fold of skin is called the labia minora and is much thinner and ‘loose’. Start by lightly trailing a finger or 2 over your labia. Most women will find that as they rub their labia, they naturally start to get wet, if they are already turned on. This wetness will act as a lubricant on your finger.

As your finger gets covered in this natural lubricant, start to slowly press the tip of it in and out of your vagina to check how it feels. As you push your finger in and out, it will get covered in more and more of this lubrication, allowing you to easily slide your finger deeper and deeper into your vagina. Slowly run the tip of your finger along the walls of your vagina paying attention to what feels most pleasurable.

There’s no one ‘right way’ when figuring out how to finger yourself. What you find most pleasurable will be different to what other people enjoy. So focus on the movements that you find most satisfying and don’t worry too much about being ‘right’.

Additionally, it’s not a case of going as deep as possible. Fingering yourself should be about getting as much pleasure as possible. But if you have never fingered yourself before, then it’s a good idea to experiment with how deep you like it.

Now lets learn some more really fun fingering techniques

Quick Note: If you find that you don’t naturally produce much lubrication, then make sure to use a good lubricant like coconut oil.

2. Fingering Your G-Spot

As you push your finger in and out or your vagina, you’ll notice that pressing up against certain parts of your vagina feels really good. If you have slid your hand down your stomach and then started to finger yourself, try curling your finger(s) backwards so that you are pressing against the upper wall of your vagina just like in the diagram below. This is where your G-Spot is located.

You’ll know it when you press and rub it because it feels like the back of your palate in your mouth. Some even describe it as feeling like a wet raspberry. In other words, it feels soft with tiny ridges. Try concentrating on the G-Spot for some really intense orgasms.

G spot cross section masturating

There are a number of different G Spot massage techniques to use to make yourself squirt that I cover in the squirting article here. Before continuing on to the more advanced techniques, there are just 2 quick, but important points I need to cover:

1. The G Spot will be impossible to find if you are not turned on. If you’re having trouble finding your G Spot, then check out this article where I explain exactly how to find it.

2. You can see from the diagram how the G-Spot is right beside the bladder. A problem this often causes is the feeling that you need to pee when you stimulate it. So if you feel the need to pee every time you finger yourself and stimulate your G-Spot, then don’t worry, it’s perfectly normal. A great tip that will minimize this ‘needing to pee’ feeling is peeing right before you masturbate. Simple :)

Now that we’ve covered the basics, here are 4 specific fingering techniques that you can use to make yourself cum and have a lot of fun.

3. Pressure Pressing Technique

The pressure pressing fingering technique works especially well if you find it difficult to have vaginal & G Spot orgasms. The problem many women face is that they just can’t put enough pressure on their G Spot during sex or when they’re fingering themselves. The solution is simple…you just need to squeeze your G Spot from the other side.


In the illustration above, you can clearly see that it’s a man’s penis inside the vagina instead of your hand. I have done this as it’s a technique you can also use during sex if you have trouble reaching orgasm.

So just finger your G Spot as you normally would and then place your other hand at the lowest part of your stomach, just above your pubic bone, as in the illustration above. Then softly push down so that you can feel your G Spot protruding more than normal. You’ll notice that this makes it easier to provide yourself with more G Spot stimulation than normal.

4. Fingering From Behind

Another way to finger yourself is from behind. Put your hand down your lower back, over your anus and then into your vagina. Once you enter your vagina, if you curl your finger backwards, this time you will be stimulating the opposite side of your vagina to your G Spot. While a few people have reported enjoying this and even preferring it, most find that it’s nowhere near as satisfying as having your G Spot and A Spot stimulated.

5. Double Your Fun

This last fingering technique is the best if you are someone who normally struggles to reach orgasm when masturbating. It requires the use of both hands.


Your first hand will be fingering your G Spot in the same way as I described earlier while your other hand will be rubbing, massaging & caressing your clit. It’s super simple and makes reaching orgasm inevitable. You can find even more clitoral stimulation techniques here.

Final Thoughts On Fingering Yourself

As you can see from the article, fingering yourself is pretty easy and straightforward. While I have gotten great feedback from those who have tried my 4 techniques above, I strongly encourage you to explore and try to find your own favorite techniques for pleasuring yourself with your fingers. After all, everyone is built slightly differently and responds differently. So have fun and enjoy your orgasms!

If you enjoyed my tips in this article but want a true sex masterclass, then you may be interested in watching this blow job tutorial video where you'll learn my most powerful techniques & tips for giving your man incredible oral sex. Enjoy!

Free Bad Girls Bible Membership Access


  1. abbie says

    ThankyouThankyouThankyou!! This helped so much! I tried these out on my friend (we’re both girls, not lesbians just curious and horny at the time) and it was FANTASTIC. It made us both so wet and horny, she even asked me to do it again sometime! THANKS!! Very satisfied customers. 😉

    • Sean says

      Hi Alina,

      The truth is that some people find it easier than others to squirt. The key is not to be focused on squirting. Instead you should just focus on enjoying yourself and doing what feels best for you. This will help to take pressure off.


        • says

          It can take longer for some people to reach orgasm. This is often caused by desensitization from too frequent masturbation. My advice is to hold off on masturbating for a good while and then try again, focusing only on what feels pleasurable…not on having an orgasm.

  2. Melinda says

    I finally was able to get my hand inside. It took approx 2 hours of kegals and pushing technique but was well worth the work. Tonight i am going to try a 1 liter plastic bottle with the same method. Tnx.

  3. Servelan says

    It would be nice to have a graphic of a woman’s hand doing this instead of a man’s hand; it’s obvious that a woman couldn’t have her hand in that position and do that.

  4. Ashlee says

    It’s seems like you know all the tricks. You must be quite the ladies man.
    What should I do if I’ve never had an orgasm? I’ve been with my fiancé for 3 years now and still nothing.

    • says

      Hi Ashlee,
      It’s much easier to first have an orgasm by yourself, while exploring your own body and what turns you on without the pressure of your man being there. Then when you can comfortably and easily give yourself an orgasm without much effort, then it’s time to start trying to have one with your man or by his hand.

      The key is enjoying the process, not focusing on orgasming.


  5. KY says

    hi Sean,

    These tips are really amazing!!! Just from reading and imagining the sensation made me wet wet wet :) thank you soo much! (im going to give it a go and feel in real the experience fom your advise)
    i was wondering, its a little stupid though.. Whats the difference between feeling wet, cum and orgasm??
    You’re like the sex master, so i hope i, the dummy have asked the right person c:

    • says

      Hi KY,
      Thanks for your praise & question!
      Becoming wet is the self-lubrication process that occurs when many women become aroused.
      Cumming doesn’t always accompany orgasm (but often it does), when you rapidly self-lubricate a lot and can even ejaculate (from your Skene’s gland).
      Orgasm is a peak moment of pleasure that occurs during sex, foreplay or other stimulation. You don’t necessarily have to cum when you orgasm or even be that wet.

      • KY says

        ohh thank you sean,
        I finally understand the difference ^^
        I hope you dont mind me asking another question.. But is it normal to be wet for no reason, like after a long day out.. You come home and somehow find yourself wet? I mean i am not in an ‘aroused mood when this happens.’
        Well thank you again for the clear explanation

    • says

      Hi Jasmine,
      The key is not to ‘force it’. In other words, don’t put pressure on yourself to have an orgasm and cum. Instead, just focus on enjoying the process and discovering what sorts of things you enjoy.


  6. Frida says

    Hii, I was fingering the clit and I got reallt wet and such, but I came to a point where I couldn’t keep on rubbing the clit because it was to sensitiv… Hard to explain, it felt like I came, but it happened to fast… I am confused

    • says

      Hi Frida,
      This is completely normal. After you orgasm, your clit can become very sensitive, usually too sensitive to keep on rubbing. All you need to do is just wait until this super-sensitivity subsides and then you can go back to rubbing it again.


  7. Paige says

    I’m very new at this and I don’t know what it feels like to achieve a orgasm so I don’t know if I’m doing it right. I rubbed my clitoris until it became so sensitive I couldn’t take it anymore. As for the G-Spot I can’t seem to find it, any tips?

    • says

      Hi Paige,

      There is no right way or wrong way to rub your clitoris as different people enjoy different things. The important thing is to keep experimenting to see what is the most enjoyable thing for you. So experiment with all different kinds of touch, from feather light to soft to quite hard touching.

      Your G-Spot is much easier to find when you are very aroused, so my advice would be to only try to find it when you are super aroused.


      • Katie says

        Hi ummm I had a good feeling and it was unbelievable I was wet wet and even more wet than I can imagine after I cum I used a viberator I squirted so much I screamed. But I fuck with most of the things in my house I fuck with everything I have I did it with my phone once.

  8. steff says

    I can’t seem τ☺ come or get an Orgasm °̩ just get τ☺ Ɨнє edge where I squirt βut nothing happens °̩ don’t ƒєєℓ ª nice explosion

  9. Sierra says

    Thank you so much. But I have a question, I have only had sex once (not because i’m scared, because of pain yada yada yada) and it was over a year ago. I have fingered myself once from it, that’s it. And I can’t use tamps, so I’m pretty tight. Do you have any tips for this? For me to get comfortable fingering myself better? Thanks.

    • says

      Hi Sierra,
      The first thing you should do is use lots of lube. This will help everything to slide in and out much more easily. The next thing you need to understand is that the more your stretch it, the looser it will get. Just make sure that you don’t hurt yourself when doing it.

  10. CM says


    thank you so much for this site… I’ve never really got anything from masturbating, so just never bothered… then I discovered your site, read your tips…

    i tried and for the first time, managed to make myself cum

    thank you… now I just need to try those bj skills 😉


  11. Cassie says

    I’ve been fingering myself for awhile now and I get close to orgasming. I never seem to be able to do it though. Why? My boyfriend tells me to relax and I try to but I seem to have a natural tension from the pleasure, if that makes sense. Please help??

    • says

      Hi Cassie,
      That natural tension is a good thing. You’ll find that if you keep going (while focusing on what is pleasurable), then the tension will build and build until it reaches a peak and then quickly dissipates. This peak is orgasm!


  12. linzie says

    Hi sean, I used to cum really easily but now I get to the point where I’m about to then it just disappears, what’s the best thing to do

  13. Eddie says

    Im a 25 yr old male.
    I love n prefer to eat pussy cant get enough of the scent n wetness!
    Im an oral addict!
    Is this normal?

  14. laurenj says

    Hi sean,
    ive had many clitoral orgasms before but when I finger myself I get no pleasure from it…is this normal and what can I do to sort it?

    • says

      Hi Lauren,

      I always advise students to keep trying, without putting any emphasis on having an orgasm. A much better strategy is to take your time, try different things and only focus on what feels good.


  15. MelissaM says

    My boyfriend has tried fingering me, and I didn’t find hardly any pleasure. It just hurt. A lot! A lot a lot. I wanted him to and I was wet?? I thought maybe it was just him…so I tried fingering myself and didn’t get anything from it. It didn’t feel that great. Any advise? I’m going to try stuff of this page too, thanks xoxo (:

    • says

      Hi Melissa,
      The goal isn’t just to ‘finger yourself’. It’s to rub yourself in a way that’s pleasurable. The main thing to focus on is doing what you find most pleasurable.


  16. benu says

    Can u tell me the side effects of self fingering & if I will enter two fingers at a time will it harm my hymen.

    • says

      Hi Benu,

      It potentially can harm your hymen, but it all depends on how much pressure your use. I wish I could be more detailed, but the truth is that it really depends.


  17. Anonymous says

    Hi Sean….well I’ve fingered myself for a while now. I did it tonight and I still haven’t cummed. It felt really close tho my legs were shaky. But nothing came out I did this for a good half hour still nothing but I really want to…any advice/help????

  18. Nicole says

    Hi Sean,

    So, I’m pretty sure I found my G-spot, but every time I try to stimulate it, my bladder engorges and eventually I pee. Is there any way to avoid this?


  19. Shannon says

    Hey Sean
    Great site!
    I was thinking of trying this, i have tried to finger myself before but i get no please if not stinging. I dont use tampons i feel im too tight to fit them and it hurts and feels dry although i have tried. I also dont get very wet if at all so fingering is dry and hurts. And even if i do get wet when i try to finger myself i simply get bored and ‘dry up’ and im so worried that because i cant use tampons cause im tight i wont be able to ‘fit’ a penis.. i dont know what im doing wrong!!
    Please help me! :(

    • says

      Hi Shannon,

      This doesn’t sound like a massive problem. You can cure the dryness issue by using a bit of lube. You may want to talk to your doctor about the excessive tightness however, it could potentially be something like vaginismus.


  20. sexy says

    Thank you so much I fucked my gf the other day and she fuckin cummed so hard im gonna fuck her every night

  21. lady says

    sean please give me some insight if you can! I can’t even get myself to finger myself it’s a really terrible issue and I understand the reason is me and only me but why do I feel this way?

    I’m not the biggest fan of the vagina though I appreciate my own. however, there is nothing that gets me to touch myself down there (and I’ve even considered wearing a surgical glove before trying to do so) to me that’s just wrong and I’d love to form a personal connection with my vagina but I just can’t bring myself to do it…

    • says


      Sounds like a tough situation to be in and there could be many potential causes for you feeling this way: past experiences, repression, shame, etc. It may be best to talk to a doctor or therapist about this.


  22. Emma says

    I was fingering myself last night, but got no pleasure at all. I really want an amazing orgasm, but I don’t seem to enjoy fingering

  23. Shaunine says

    Ok I try to masterbate but I cant can you give steps for say like ok now once you’ve rubbed there for 2mis than start fingering your self plz plz it would help

    • says

      Hi Shaunine,

      The truth is that different people enjoy and get off to different sensations, so you’re going to need to do a lot of experimentation to discover what you enjoy the most.

      Have fun!


  24. Jane says

    This totally helped me I finger myself so much now and I organism like crazy thank you
    I always wear thongs before, to get myself feeling sexy

  25. Alice says

    Hi so I use a vibrator often and I have it on my favorite setting but I never have an orgasam so why is this am I using it the wrong way?8

    • says

      Hi Alice,

      It’s hard for me to tell as different people have different levels of sensitivities. The main thing is to keep focusing on what feels pleasurable and not worrying about the outcome. If using your vibrator isn’t that pleasurable, then just switch back to using your hand or whatever technique you usually use when masturbating.


  26. CassieK says

    Hi Sean,
    I’ve tried to use to fingers before and it hurts but when I use one it feels like nothing is in there any ideas on what might help me? Xx

  27. Audrey. says

    Hello, Sean! :)
    Actually, I have tried fingering lots of times and have always tried finding the G-Spot. I have tried searching in the internet for how the G-Spot actually felt like. Everytime I feel like I have found it, I certainly feel unsure about it. I just don’t think it is the right one. That is the reason why I came to this website though. I wanted my fingering session to be pleasurable for me. Also, I have never squirted before! Regarding of this, I just feel insecure about myself. I don’t know whether it is that I can’t squirt or am I doing the wrong thing. So, please help me amd give me suggestions about this. :) Thankyou!

  28. Katie says

    Hi Sean!
    I’m very new to this and very unsure on how the whole ‘fingering thing’ works. I’m am so terrified that I might do something wrong. I’ve done this before but was just to scared to continue. Is this normal? Thanks. :)

    • says

      Hi Katie,

      If you are scared or unsure of anything, then don’t feel like you need to keep doing it. Don’t worry about whether you do it ‘right’ or ‘wrong’, just focus on what feels good.


  29. Grace says

    I’m so thankfully sean you really helped me bus it seems that I can’t feel in the mood now matter what I do any tips?

  30. Mary says

    I cant orgasm. My bf used to fuck me 2-3 times a day and its been three years since I’ve had proper sex. I’ve been really horny for the past 5 days to the point its making me sick. I have tried fingering..I have tried bottles of all shapes and sizes… I gave tried the shower head..I’ve even sleptwith a mascarra bottle in between my legs. I’m extremely wet but no orgasm. Help!

  31. Claire says

    I’ve tried these, they really work. It depends on you body though. I wish I could right now, but I’m not alone… Could get awkward…

  32. holly says

    Hi sean…
    I have had an orgasim before many of times from fingering but it just all stopped happening now when o do masterbate i do find my clit and my g spot i get wet then i rub but i dont get orgasims from it i have tried all diffrent ways but i dont get pleasure from it

  33. josie says

    My boyfriend and I fuck all the time. But its not that pleasurable. But when he fingers me its great and I squirt a lot. Is it normal ? To like rather be fingered by him.

    • says

      Hi Josie, squirting is completely normal. If you prefer to be fingered by your man, then make sure to let him know. Great sex is all about communication after all.

  34. Lucy says

    Thank you so much…this was my first orgasm and it felt great! Your techniques for this are amazing! And once again, Thanks for helping me acheive this goal

  35. makenzie says

    So this is basically practicing sex before you really have it? It feels wonderful to do though is there anything i can use a replacement for a guys penis?

  36. Psyche says

    I’m a guy and I find your article very descriptive , the diagrams make it even better! I really think this will help me pleasure my girl.

  37. Charla says

    Hi, I tried fingering myself, I tried finding the g-spot, but, when I finger myself it feels good until my arms get numb and I still haven’t came.. Why cant I cum?

    • says

      Hi Charla, Just focus on what feels good and don’t worry about the orgasm. It will come as long as you only focus on what feels good.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *