3 Explosive Techniques: How To Finger Yourself To Orgasm

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Why bother learning how to have great sex with a guy if you don’t know how to enjoy yourself? That’s what the Bad Girl’s Bible is all about, enjoying yourself and having great sex.

how to finger yourself, bad girls bible, sean jameson

Fingering yourself is easy…and fun!

By the way, if you just came here looking for my famous tutorial video on how to talk dirty to your man to build sexual tension, turn him on and keep him thinking about you, then you can watch it here.

It’s not actually that hard to finger yourself. But if you want to do it right and have very powerful orgasms then this guide will help you a lot. While I teach slight different techniques on pleasing yourself in the masturbatation article and the section on teaching yourself how to relax and cum, this tutorial will show you how to gain maximum pleasure from penetrating yourself with your fingers.

Before You Start – Getting In The Mood

Before you even start fingering yourself, you need to do a little preparation so that you really enjoy it. The most important thing to do is to make sure that you are somewhere that you feel comfortable and relaxed. A great place is your bedroom or on a sofa in a place where you won’t get disturbed. This will make it easier to reach orgasm without having to worry about someone walking in on you.

Everybody has different things that will help them get in the mood. For you it might be dimming the lights and playing some music. For others it may be something else. Here are some of the most popular things you can do to help you get in the mood:

  • Burn some incense
  • Light some candles
  • Wear something sexy
  • Watch pornography (yes, some girls do enjoy it)
  • Massage yourself first

There are lots of other things that will help you to get in the mood that I haven’t mentioned. The important thing to do is what you enjoy. Don’t just follow my advice blindly.

How To Finger Yourself


how to finger yourself

This simple diagram indicates all the major parts of the female sexual anatomy that you should focus on when fingering yourself.


Once you are set up and in the mood, it’s time to start fingering yourself. Start by lowering your hand from your breasts, down to over your stomach until you can feel your clitoris which is located outside your vagina and just above it. Below your clit, using just one finger, you will be able to feel fleshy folds of skin on either side of your vagina. These are your labia.

To be scientific about it, the outer fold on each side is called the labia majora which is much bigger, while the inner fold of skin is called the labia minora and is much thinner and ‘loose’

Using your single finger, start to slowly rub these. Using a gentle circular motion is best. You will find that as you rub you labia, you will naturally start to get wet. This wetness will act as a natural lubricant on your finger. As your finger gets covered in this natural lubricant, start to slowly press the tip of it in and out of your vagina to check how it feels. As you push your finger in and out, it will get covered in more and more of this lubricant, allowing you to easily slide your finger deeper and deeper into your vagina.

When you are fingering yourself, it’s not a case of going as deep as possible. It’s doing what feels best. But if you have never fingered yourself before, then it’s a good idea to experiment with how deep you like it.

Fingering Your G-Spot

As you push your finger in and out or your vagina, you’ll notice that pressing up against certain parts of your vagina feels really good. If you have slid your hand down your stomach and then started to finger yourself, try curling your finger(s) backwards so that you are pressing against the upper wall of your vagina with your finger tips. This is where your G-Spot is located. You’ll know it when you press and rub it because it feels like the back of your palate in your mouth or a raspberry. In other words, it feels soft with tiny lumps. Try concentrating on the G-Spot for some really intense orgasms.

The picture below features a man’s handing fingering a woman. You can see his thumb stimulating her clitoris. His first 2 fingers are inside her vagina, fingering her. The tips of these 2 fingers are stimulating her G-Spot.

how to finger yourself, self pleasure, sean jameson, bad girls bible

This simple diagram nicely illustrates how to stimulate your G-Spot with your fingers.

Notice how the G-Spot is right beside the bladder. A problem this often causes is the feeling that you need to pee when you stimulate your G-Spot. So if you feel the need to pee every time you finger yourself and stimulate your G-Spot, then don’t worry, it’s perfectly normal.

Awesome Fingering Technique #1

If you slowly build up to fingering your G-Spot, by first concentrating on your clitoris (like I explain in my article about masturbating) and then after 5-20 mins of this you move onto your G-Spot, you’ll find that your G-Spot is more engorged (bigger) and more pleasurable than usual leading to more intense and body shaking orgasms.

Awesome Fingering Technique #2

When you are fingering yourself, your arm will be on your stomach. A part of your hand will be very close your your clitoris. By pulling your arm slightly backwards, while keeping your fingers inside, you will be able to bring part of your hand into direct contact with your clit. By doing this, you can rub both your G-Spot and your clit at the same time, leading to some really fantastic orgasms if you do it right.

Awesome Fingering Technique #3

Another way to finger yourself is from behind. Put your hand down your lower back, over your anus and then into your vagina. Once you enter your vagina, if you curl your finger backwards, this time you will be stimulating the opposite side of your vagina to your G-Spot. Some of my students have reported this to feel incredibly pleasurable.

Final Words On Fingering Yourself

That’s all there is too it. Fingering yourself is incredibly straightforward. While I have gotten great feedback from those who have tried my 3 techniques above, I strongly encourage you to explore and try to find your own favorite techniques for pleasuring yourself with your fingers.

If you enjoyed learning how to finger yourself, but would like to learn more about how to please and sexually satisfy your man, then you may be interested in using all 3 of the techniques in this powerful blow job tutorial video. Enjoy!

The Dirty Talking Video…A Step-By-Step Guide

Secret If you are interested in learning more about how to talk dirty to your man, then you should check out this free presentation I just recorded. It will teach you everything you need to know about talking dirty to your man. Click Here To Watch It Now.

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Leave a comment
  1. Brittany October 23, 2012 at 2:43 am #

    Thank you so! This helped me a lot!!:)

    • Sean October 31, 2012 at 10:43 am #

      Glad I could be of help!

  2. abbie December 17, 2012 at 11:10 am #

    ThankyouThankyouThankyou!! This helped so much! I tried these out on my friend (we’re both girls, not lesbians just curious and horny at the time) and it was FANTASTIC. It made us both so wet and horny, she even asked me to do it again sometime! THANKS!! Very satisfied customers. ;)

  3. Lozy December 22, 2012 at 3:04 pm #

    thnx it felt really nice ahha i want to do it with someone now


  4. Alina January 21, 2013 at 5:01 am #

    Pls help ive been fingering myself in the shower but i can seem 2 squrit!

    • Sean January 24, 2013 at 11:31 am #

      Hi Alina,

      The truth is that some people find it easier than others to squirt. The key is not to be focused on squirting. Instead you should just focus on enjoying yourself and doing what feels best for you. This will help to take pressure off.


  5. Kathy January 25, 2013 at 8:28 am #

    Wov, Thank you. It makes me wet and horny. It was really fantastic.

  6. Melinda January 28, 2013 at 5:11 am #

    I finally was able to get my hand inside. It took approx 2 hours of kegals and pushing technique but was well worth the work. Tonight i am going to try a 1 liter plastic bottle with the same method. Tnx.

  7. Ally January 28, 2013 at 10:17 pm #


  8. Emily February 11, 2013 at 9:24 pm #

    oh god… I CUMMED =O Yaaaaay!! imma try this again! cya good person that helped me cum =D

  9. Servelan February 17, 2013 at 6:11 am #

    It would be nice to have a graphic of a woman’s hand doing this instead of a man’s hand; it’s obvious that a woman couldn’t have her hand in that position and do that.

    • Sean Jameson February 19, 2013 at 12:40 pm #

      You’re right! If I can find a graphic with a woman’s hand instead of a man’s, I will update it. Thanks,

  10. Ashlee March 11, 2013 at 10:33 pm #

    It’s seems like you know all the tricks. You must be quite the ladies man.
    What should I do if I’ve never had an orgasm? I’ve been with my fiancé for 3 years now and still nothing.

    • Sean Jameson March 26, 2013 at 9:28 am #

      Hi Ashlee,
      It’s much easier to first have an orgasm by yourself, while exploring your own body and what turns you on without the pressure of your man being there. Then when you can comfortably and easily give yourself an orgasm without much effort, then it’s time to start trying to have one with your man or by his hand.

      The key is enjoying the process, not focusing on orgasming.


    • Carrie May 24, 2013 at 8:06 pm #

      Girlfriend….get a vibrator pronto!

  11. KY March 29, 2013 at 1:37 am #

    hi Sean,

    These tips are really amazing!!! Just from reading and imagining the sensation made me wet wet wet :) thank you soo much! (im going to give it a go and feel in real the experience fom your advise)
    i was wondering, its a little stupid though.. Whats the difference between feeling wet, cum and orgasm??
    You’re like the sex master, so i hope i, the dummy have asked the right person c:

    • Sean Jameson April 9, 2013 at 11:53 am #

      Hi KY,
      Thanks for your praise & question!
      Becoming wet is the self-lubrication process that occurs when many women become aroused.
      Cumming doesn’t always accompany orgasm (but often it does), when you rapidly self-lubricate a lot and can even ejaculate (from your Skene’s gland).
      Orgasm is a peak moment of pleasure that occurs during sex, foreplay or other stimulation. You don’t necessarily have to cum when you orgasm or even be that wet.

      • KY April 19, 2013 at 7:25 pm #

        ohh thank you sean,
        I finally understand the difference ^^
        I hope you dont mind me asking another question.. But is it normal to be wet for no reason, like after a long day out.. You come home and somehow find yourself wet? I mean i am not in an ‘aroused mood when this happens.’
        Well thank you again for the clear explanation

        • Sean Jameson April 22, 2013 at 9:29 am #

          Hi KY,

          Yes it’s perfectly normal and nothing to be worried about.


  12. Jasmine March 31, 2013 at 2:11 am #

    I tried it but, i don’t seem to be cumming. Any Tips??

    • Sean Jameson April 9, 2013 at 11:44 am #

      Hi Jasmine,
      The key is not to ‘force it’. In other words, don’t put pressure on yourself to have an orgasm and cum. Instead, just focus on enjoying the process and discovering what sorts of things you enjoy.


  13. Frida April 16, 2013 at 3:29 pm #

    Hii, I was fingering the clit and I got reallt wet and such, but I came to a point where I couldn’t keep on rubbing the clit because it was to sensitiv… Hard to explain, it felt like I came, but it happened to fast… I am confused

    • Sean Jameson April 19, 2013 at 8:42 am #

      Hi Frida,
      This is completely normal. After you orgasm, your clit can become very sensitive, usually too sensitive to keep on rubbing. All you need to do is just wait until this super-sensitivity subsides and then you can go back to rubbing it again.


  14. ka3L9T15R9S April 24, 2013 at 4:43 pm #

    Thanx, i really appreciate the help/advice

  15. Paige April 26, 2013 at 11:33 pm #

    I’m very new at this and I don’t know what it feels like to achieve a orgasm so I don’t know if I’m doing it right. I rubbed my clitoris until it became so sensitive I couldn’t take it anymore. As for the G-Spot I can’t seem to find it, any tips?

    • Sean Jameson April 29, 2013 at 9:56 am #

      Hi Paige,

      There is no right way or wrong way to rub your clitoris as different people enjoy different things. The important thing is to keep experimenting to see what is the most enjoyable thing for you. So experiment with all different kinds of touch, from feather light to soft to quite hard touching.

      Your G-Spot is much easier to find when you are very aroused, so my advice would be to only try to find it when you are super aroused.


      • Katie March 19, 2014 at 10:13 pm #

        Hi ummm I had a good feeling and it was unbelievable I was wet wet and even more wet than I can imagine after I cum I used a viberator I squirted so much I screamed. But I fuck with most of the things in my house I fuck with everything I have I did it with my phone once.

  16. steff May 2, 2013 at 2:54 pm #

    I can’t seem τ☺ come or get an Orgasm °̩ just get τ☺ Ɨнє edge where I squirt βut nothing happens °̩ don’t ƒєєℓ ª nice explosion

  17. Sierra May 23, 2013 at 5:28 am #

    Thank you so much. But I have a question, I have only had sex once (not because i’m scared, because of pain yada yada yada) and it was over a year ago. I have fingered myself once from it, that’s it. And I can’t use tamps, so I’m pretty tight. Do you have any tips for this? For me to get comfortable fingering myself better? Thanks.

    • Sean Jameson May 27, 2013 at 9:57 am #

      Hi Sierra,
      The first thing you should do is use lots of lube. This will help everything to slide in and out much more easily. The next thing you need to understand is that the more your stretch it, the looser it will get. Just make sure that you don’t hurt yourself when doing it.

  18. CM July 10, 2013 at 9:11 pm #


    thank you so much for this site… I’ve never really got anything from masturbating, so just never bothered… then I discovered your site, read your tips…

    i tried and for the first time, managed to make myself cum

    thank you… now I just need to try those bj skills ;)


  19. Cassie July 15, 2013 at 5:48 am #

    I’ve been fingering myself for awhile now and I get close to orgasming. I never seem to be able to do it though. Why? My boyfriend tells me to relax and I try to but I seem to have a natural tension from the pleasure, if that makes sense. Please help??

    • Sean Jameson July 16, 2013 at 7:08 am #

      Hi Cassie,
      That natural tension is a good thing. You’ll find that if you keep going (while focusing on what is pleasurable), then the tension will build and build until it reaches a peak and then quickly dissipates. This peak is orgasm!


  20. lisa August 6, 2013 at 4:52 pm #

    What if our arms are too short to reach your gspot?

    • Sean Jameson August 12, 2013 at 8:46 am #

      Hi Lisa,
      If this is the case, then you may want to try using a toy like a dildo.


  21. linzie September 5, 2013 at 9:37 pm #

    Hi sean, I used to cum really easily but now I get to the point where I’m about to then it just disappears, what’s the best thing to do

    • Sean Jameson September 8, 2013 at 7:04 pm #

      Hi Linzie,

      I’m not sure. Have you started/stopped any medications recently. This is often the cause.

  22. Aria September 12, 2013 at 11:17 am #

    I’m sorry I ment does your hem have to be broken to hit your g-spot

    • Sean Jameson September 16, 2013 at 7:56 am #

      Hi Aria,
      No the hymen doesn’t necessarily have to be broken in order to hit your G Spot.

  23. Eddie September 27, 2013 at 6:54 am #

    Im a 25 yr old male.
    I love n prefer to eat pussy cant get enough of the scent n wetness!
    Im an oral addict!
    Is this normal?

    • Sean Jameson September 30, 2013 at 4:28 pm #

      Hi Eddie,
      Sounds pretty normal to me.

  24. emraan September 29, 2013 at 10:02 am #

    i tried fingured to my girlfriend. but she said she get very pain. so i i cant fucked her

  25. laurenj October 13, 2013 at 7:52 am #

    Hi sean,
    ive had many clitoral orgasms before but when I finger myself I get no pleasure from it…is this normal and what can I do to sort it?

    • Sean Jameson November 11, 2013 at 8:24 pm #

      Hi Lauren,

      I always advise students to keep trying, without putting any emphasis on having an orgasm. A much better strategy is to take your time, try different things and only focus on what feels good.


  26. MelissaM December 24, 2013 at 9:24 pm #

    My boyfriend has tried fingering me, and I didn’t find hardly any pleasure. It just hurt. A lot! A lot a lot. I wanted him to and I was wet?? I thought maybe it was just him…so I tried fingering myself and didn’t get anything from it. It didn’t feel that great. Any advise? I’m going to try stuff of this page too, thanks xoxo (:

    • Sean Jameson January 9, 2014 at 11:53 am #

      Hi Melissa,
      The goal isn’t just to ‘finger yourself’. It’s to rub yourself in a way that’s pleasurable. The main thing to focus on is doing what you find most pleasurable.


  27. benu January 2, 2014 at 6:11 am #

    Can u tell me the side effects of self fingering & if I will enter two fingers at a time will it harm my hymen.

    • Sean Jameson January 9, 2014 at 11:42 am #

      Hi Benu,

      It potentially can harm your hymen, but it all depends on how much pressure your use. I wish I could be more detailed, but the truth is that it really depends.


  28. Anonymous January 7, 2014 at 7:18 am #

    Hi Sean….well I’ve fingered myself for a while now. I did it tonight and I still haven’t cummed. It felt really close tho my legs were shaky. But nothing came out I did this for a good half hour still nothing but I really want to…any advice/help????

    • Sean Jameson January 9, 2014 at 11:30 am #

      Don’t focus on the outcome (making yourself orgasm). Just focus on enjoying yourself.


  29. Nicole January 8, 2014 at 6:19 am #

    Hi Sean,

    So, I’m pretty sure I found my G-spot, but every time I try to stimulate it, my bladder engorges and eventually I pee. Is there any way to avoid this?


  30. Shannon January 22, 2014 at 9:32 am #

    Hey Sean
    Great site!
    I was thinking of trying this, i have tried to finger myself before but i get no please if not stinging. I dont use tampons i feel im too tight to fit them and it hurts and feels dry although i have tried. I also dont get very wet if at all so fingering is dry and hurts. And even if i do get wet when i try to finger myself i simply get bored and ‘dry up’ and im so worried that because i cant use tampons cause im tight i wont be able to ‘fit’ a penis.. i dont know what im doing wrong!!
    Please help me! :(

    • Sean Jameson January 27, 2014 at 7:54 am #

      Hi Shannon,

      This doesn’t sound like a massive problem. You can cure the dryness issue by using a bit of lube. You may want to talk to your doctor about the excessive tightness however, it could potentially be something like vaginismus.


  31. emma March 7, 2014 at 6:59 pm #

    Omg it was amazing wish someone would do it to me in stead of me doing myself

  32. sexy March 27, 2014 at 3:16 am #

    Thank you so much I fucked my gf the other day and she fuckin cummed so hard im gonna fuck her every night

  33. rolop March 31, 2014 at 5:59 am #

    hi sean,
    so im in love with my gf and i want to give to her. how do i kno shes ready?

  34. elly March 31, 2014 at 7:55 am #

    AHHHHHH! your advice give me some pleasure!

  35. lady April 2, 2014 at 8:10 am #

    sean please give me some insight if you can! I can’t even get myself to finger myself it’s a really terrible issue and I understand the reason is me and only me but why do I feel this way?

    I’m not the biggest fan of the vagina though I appreciate my own. however, there is nothing that gets me to touch myself down there (and I’ve even considered wearing a surgical glove before trying to do so) to me that’s just wrong and I’d love to form a personal connection with my vagina but I just can’t bring myself to do it…

    • Sean Jameson April 2, 2014 at 9:13 am #


      Sounds like a tough situation to be in and there could be many potential causes for you feeling this way: past experiences, repression, shame, etc. It may be best to talk to a doctor or therapist about this.


  36. Emma April 17, 2014 at 11:58 pm #

    I was fingering myself last night, but got no pleasure at all. I really want an amazing orgasm, but I don’t seem to enjoy fingering

  37. Shaunine April 21, 2014 at 5:45 am #

    Ok I try to masterbate but I cant can you give steps for say like ok now once you’ve rubbed there for 2mis than start fingering your self plz plz it would help

    • Sean Jameson April 21, 2014 at 12:15 pm #

      Hi Shaunine,

      The truth is that different people enjoy and get off to different sensations, so you’re going to need to do a lot of experimentation to discover what you enjoy the most.

      Have fun!


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