While everyone seems to know the Bad Girl’s Bible as the place where you can learn how to drive your man wild with pleasure, today I want to take a slightly different approach and teach you everything there is to know on masturbation and giving yourself incredible orgasms.
I’ve also included some detailed illustrations so you really understand what’s going on and how to get the most pleasure possible when masturbating.
Learning how to masturbate is fun and completely natural. The great thing with masturbation is that you are learning about your body. You are finding out what feels good to have touched, caressed and stimulated and you are learning about what areas of your body are most sensitive. So understanding how your body reaches orgasm by masturbating regularly is going to make it much easier to orgasm with your partner during sex.
While this guide will show you how to get started on the path to giving yourself some nice ‘O’s, there is one thing that I’d like you to know before reading on.
Different people respond to different things. You may find that certain techniques or sensations do nothing for you, while they work wonders for others.
The key is finding out what works for you by using my guide as…a guide, together with a little bit of trial and error. So we’re going to start out with making sure you fully understand your body, then you’ll learn why putting yourself in the right mindset is crucial and only then we’ll get to some of the best ways to masturbate (you can skip right to them by clicking here). Also, if you want my more advanced masturbation techniques, then you should check out this detailed article here.
Step #1 – Your Anatomy
I know you may want to jump straight to the “How To” section, but please read this section on your anatomy first, it will ultimately help you have much more powerful orgasms every time you masturbate!
The diagram above shows all the important parts of the outside of your vagina.
Clitoral Hood – At the top of the vagina, you can see your clitoral hood. This is the little flap of skin that covers your clitoris. It doesn’t serve much purpose other than to protect your very sensitive clitoris from getting hurt.
Clitoris – Your clitoris is probably the most important part of your body when masturbating with your fingers. It’s that tiny nub of skin full of nerve endings that feels incredible when stimulated correctly. As you can see from the diagram, it’s located just underneath your clitoral hood.
Labia Majora & Labia Minora – Your labia majora & minora are the flaps of skin indicated in the diagram that run along the outside of your vagina. As you can see, your labia majora are much larger than your labia minora. The sensitivity of these varies from woman to woman. So you may find them very pleasurable to have stimulated while others don’t get much gratification from them at all.
Urethral Opening – Your urethral opening is where you pee from, so we won’t be paying attention to it when masturbating.
Vagina – Your vagina is the other area of your body, besides your clit that is super sensitive and feels incredible to have stimulated with your fingers or with a dildo/vibrator. And there are multiple ways to do this which I explain (with diagrams) below.
Anus – Your anus also possesses a lot of nerve endings and be quite pleasurable to have stimulated to. I cover more about anal sex in this guide.
While I’ve already mentioned the clit, urethra and anus, there are are a few other areas to be aware of, as well as 2 super pleasurable areas, the G Spot & A Spot.
G Spot – The G Spot is located about 2-3 inches (5-7.5 cm) inside the anterior wall of the vagina. However, as I explain in the G Spot article it won’t feel pleasurable to touch until you are aroused and turned on. So if you go looking for it when you’re not thoroughly aroused, you’re going to have trouble find it.
If you would like more in depth information on the G Spot as well as G Spot masturbation & sex techniques, then make sure to check out the this article on the G Spot. But if you’d like more scientific information, then the Wikipedia article on it here will help a lot too.
A Spot – As you can see from the diagram, the A Spot is located much deeper in the vagina on the anterior wall by the cervix. When stimulated it can lead to very powerful vaginal orgasms. However using your fingers to do this is going to be difficult, so you may need to invest in something like a dildo to do it for you. The A Spot is also called the deep spot, AFE zone or even the ‘epicenter’. You can find out more about it on Wikipedia here.
Vagina – The entire length of your vagina is sensitive and feels wonderful to have stimulated, especially your A & G Spots as I mentioned above.
Cervix – Your cervix is very sensitive, but almost never in a sexual way, this means that you will probably want to avoid stimulating it completely…although there are a small number of women who enjoy having it hit.
Rectum – Your rectum is the area you encounter after penetrating your anus. How much you enjoy stimulating this area of your body depends on you. My advice is to always experiment! The anal sex guide should help you out.
Step #2 – The Set Up
Masturbation is so much more pleasurable and fun when you are relaxed and comfortable. So a little planning ahead can do wonders. If you are going to masturbate, make sure that your are not going to be disturbed…unless that’s what you want! This usually means that you need to lock your bedroom door so people can’t burst in and disturb you. If you don’t have a lock, then wait until no one else is around.
From talking to students, I have found that a slow and relaxed build up leads to more fulfilling orgasms. So if you have the time, you’ll find that running a bubble bath or having a long and relaxing shower first is a great way to get in the mood.
You may read elsewhere that lighting candles, using incense and playing relaxing/sexy music can all add to the experience. It’s true. But it can often be a hassle preparing all that stuff beforehand. So try to figure out what works best for you and do a little experimentation. You may even find that you don’t need much preparation at all.
Step #3 – The Build Up
Now that you have everything set up and you are sure that you are not going to be disturbed, it’s time to get down to it and start masturbating. If it’s your very first time masturbating, then I recommend that you turn off the lights and get under the covers. Doing this may make it easier to orgasm.
But don’t go straight for your clitoris/vagina just yet!
You may be eager to start masturbating right away, but it’s better to keep building up to it. Start by slowly rubbing yourself from your thighs up to your stomach and over your breasts. Try to listen to your body to find out where feels best to have rubbed and stimulated. Your breasts may feel the most sensitive and pleasurable to touch or maybe your inner things feel best or maybe even your waist does. The key is to experiment and find what works best for you and your body.
Keep doing this for just a minute or 2 before finally lowering one hand towards your crotch. This slow build up is all part of making your orgasm that much more powerful when you do climax.
Finally, we get to the actual masturbation part of this masturbation guide! I’m going to cover the basic techniques you can use. But you’ll find much more powerful masturbation methods in this article on squirting, these advanced masturbation techniques and this one on pleasuring your clitoris.
Starting With The Long Slow Stroke
This first technique is super easy. Just lower your hand to your vagina. Then using just one finger (your index finger is best), very lightly and softly glide over the middle of your vagina and clitoris, from top to bottom, up and down. Really listen to your body to feel which areas provide the most pleasure and stimulation when touched.
Then experiment with fast strokes, slower strokes as well as using more or less pressure. Most likely you will not orgasm from this, but it’s great for exploring your vagina to see what it most fun.
From Side To Side
Above your vagina is your clitoris, under the clitoral hood. For many women, your clitoris will provide you with the most pleasure when masturbating. So let’s concentrate on your clitoris for a bit. Simply start rubbing your finger over and back like in the diagram. Again, make sure to experiment with the amount of pressure you apply along with how fast you are stroking.
The Lovely Labia
Rubbing and stimulating your labia is kind of like the ‘foreplay of masturbation’. It may not bring you to orgasm, but it’s a great way to build up to more intense techniques. There are plenty of ways to rub your labia, but as you can from the illustration above, a really fun way is to slowly drag your fingers up and down them. Just make sure to use some lube….otherwise it won’t be pleasurable at all.
BTW, if you want to learn my best foreplay tips to use on yourself and your man, you’ll find them here.
And that’s the basic techniques you need to use when masturbating. My most advanced masturbation techniques are in this guide.
Step #5 – Bringing Yourself To Orgasm
When learning how to masturbate, there is a trap that you must avoid. This trap is thinking that you ‘have to have an orgasm’. This kind of thinking puts pressure on you, which can make it less likely that you will have one. Instead, a better way to approach masturbating is to have no goals. Instead you should look at it as:
Enjoying the process, regardless of what happens.
With that said, bringing yourself to orgasm is not too difficult. You just need to find the spot, techniques & intensity that you enjoy the most and focusing your attention there while making sure to listen to your body.
Step #6 -Masturbation With Penetration
For some, penetration during masturbation can feel great and take your pleasure to the next level. There are a number of ways you can do this.
G Spot Masturbation – You can try penetrating yourself with your fingers to apply pressure to your G Spot. If you find you hand tiring then you can try using a dildo instead. If you want to learn more about penetrating yourself during masturbation and having G Spot orgasms then check out this article on fingering yourself and read this one on your G Spot.
A Spot masturbation – If you want to hit your A Spot during masturbation, then you are going to need a dildo. Your A Spot will be too deep to comfortably reach with you fingers. Rather than repeating myself here on what techniques to use to masturbate your A Spot, I cover how to hit your A Spot in this other article on masturbation.
Step #7 – Masturbation With A Vibrator
Using a vibrator can be super pleasurable. But before you rush out the door and buy one, here are 2 important pointers to take into account:
1) Vibrators can provide intense stimulation which can be too much for some women (to the point where it’s not pleasurable and actually a bit painful).
2) Cheap vibrators usually only have one speed which can be annoying if you want a level of stimulation that is slower and more relaxed. If you are serious about great masturbation, then my advice is to go for a vibrator that has variable speeds even if it costs a little more.
For more powerful masturbation tips & ideas, like finding and stimulating your U Spot make sure to check out this second article that will teach you my most powerful masturbation techniques.If you enjoyed my tips in this article but want a true sex masterclass, then you may be interested in watching this blow job tutorial video where you'll learn my most powerful techniques & tips for giving your man incredible oral sex. Enjoy!