Every bad girl may love having sex with a partner who wants nothing more to please her, but your sexuality doesn’t have to end there. In fact, if you haven’t taken time to have sex with yourself, you might be missing out on some of the best that human sexuality has to offer.
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Not only does masturbation help to relieve stress and insomnia and improve overall health, but you can learn what turns you on and helps get you off to have better sex with your partners. Your solo sex life doesn’t need to be stale, either. Just try some of these tips to learn how to have sex with yourself and love it!
Get Intimate With Your G-Spot
Your G-spot is a pretty amazing part of your anatomy, which you’ll learn when you’re having sex with yourself. Although you may have experienced G-spot stimulation during sex in the past, having the time to discover where your G-spot is and what it responds to can open up your world sexually.
To start, your G-spot is located against the front wall of your vagina behind your pubic bone. Some women have a G-spot located closer to the vaginal opening, which can make it easier to find and stimulate, but toys that are curved or hooked fingers will do the trick, too! Check out our G-spot guide with images.
Your G-spot feels a bit bumpy and might stand out from the very slight valleys on either side. The G-spot, also known as the female prostate, is actually spongey material that you can stimulate through the vaginal wall. G-spots often respond to thrusting, especially vigorous thrusting, more than vibration, which is why a curved sex toy is so useful.
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Stimulation of the G-spot can lead to G-spot orgasms, which many women describe as more intense and full-bodied than clitoral orgasms, or even squirting. We recommend lying a towel down on the bed if you’re worried about a mess. If you’re a prolific squirter – congratulations, by the way! – Liberator makes an absorbent blanket called the Fascinator Throe to protect your furniture!
Cum From Clitoral Stimulation
Most women can more easily obtain clitoral orgasms than other types, and it’s definitely easier to find this fleshy nub that’s located just a few inches above your vagina. You don’t need sexy toys to achieve clitoral orgasm and have sex with yourself in a satisfying manner, either. All you need is to slip your hand into your panties and stroke away. Experiment with tapping, pinching, stroking on either side and down the clitoral “legs” toward your vagina.
You might enjoy clit play more when your hand remains outside your panties, and the seam of your jeans can provide adequate stimulation — even accidentally! In fact, many women experimented with some sort of dry humping because of the fantastic clitoral sensations it provides. More on clitoral stimulation here.
Explore Anal Stimulation
You might already know that you enjoy anal stimulation if you’ve engaged in anal sex with a partner, but you shouldn’t write it off as an activity that always requires a lover. Thanks to anal toys, which should always have flared bases to be used safely, you can stimulate your back door during masturbation. You might learn that you love double penetration or like a butt plug inserted while bringing yourself to clitoral climax.
However, anal stimulation doesn’t have to mean penetration. Rubbing around your sphincter with your fingers or a toy can be quite pleasurable for many women. Don’t forget to scratch, spank, or grab your ass when it feels right. It’s yours to enjoy, after all!
Don’t Forget the Nipples
Although you may not experience nipple-based orgasms like some unrealistic Hollywood portrayals, this doesn’t mean your breasts can’t add to the mood when you have sex with yourself. You might prefer tender caresses, a deep-tissue massage with silky smooth oil or pinching your nipples.
There are also a few implements that can improve breast and nipple stimulation. These include nipple clamps, some of which vibrate, and pumps that add suction, but you can always use a vibrator on your bosom! More tips on nipple clamps here.
Use a Dildo
We’re obviously big fans of phallic sex toys here. If you can’t get the real thing or if you simply want to learn how to have sex with yourself without the stress of considering your partner, then a dildo can be your new best friend. With body-safe and realistic silicone formulas, rigid glass or ceramic that respond to temperature changes and dildos with ridges, bulges and angled G-spot heads, there’s a dildo for every woman out there.
Having sex with yourself will be more fun than ever once you find your new favorite, and we won’t judge if you become something of a connoisseur. After all, shopping is half the fun! Learn how to use your new dildo here.
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However, you should know a few things when shopping for dildos. PVC, jelly, rubber, Cyber Skin and other porous materials can harbor bacteria no matter how well you clean them. Never swap between partners or orifices without using a condom. Silicone, stainless steel, glass and wood dildos are among those that can safely be sterilized!
Try a Vibrator
If you need something more than just a dildo, introduce yourself to a buzzy friend. There are generally two types: internal (vaginal or G-spot) and clitoral vibrators. An internal vibrator can also be used to thrust like a dildo, but one of the perks is that it can double as stimulation for you clitoris while you’re having sex with yourself. If your vibrator has a flared base, you can also safely use it for anal stimulation. But dedicated clit vibes tend to be more discreet and easy to travel with or use when you just can’t wait to treat yourself to an orgasm!
If you need a lot of power, look for a wand-style vibrator that plugs directly into the wall. The Original Magic Wand is a great example, and you don’t just have to use it when learning how to have sex by yourself because it’s great on aches and pains too. Dual stimulation vibrators, of which the rabbit is a perfect example, can hit all those sweet spots at once, too. New vibrators use technology in amazing ways!
Have Sex With Yourself in the Shower
Many girls and young women first experiment with masturbation in the shower or tub. The feeling of water spraying against your clitoris and vulva isn’t like sex or a vibrator at all, which is why you might love it.
Plus, shower time is the only time you might have to yourself to relax if you live with other people or even have kids. A detachable shower head that you can aim between your legs is the most convenient, but you can scoot under your faucet if you have a tub too. Oh, and if your a squirter, the shower is the perfect place to do it, as it’s so easy to wash away after you’re done.
Turn on the Tunes
If you’ve got a favorite song that just makes you want to move your hips or boosts your confidence so you feel incredibly sexy, use it to improve the mood while having sex with yourself.
It doesn’t matter if it’s something by Marvin Gaye, a cliché Def Leppard hit or something that would never be played on mainstream radio as long as you like it! Press “Play” on your laptop, turn your phone on speaker or invest in a portable Bluetooth speaker to enjoy music while you masturbate. Not only will it help you get in the mood, but it can prevent others from knowing what you’re up to!
Revel in Erotica
No matter what you might want to read about, you’re sure to find it. One publisher that specializes in scintillating sexy stories is Cleis Press, which publishes erotica anthologies and full-length novels from talented authors including Alison Tyler. From straight to lesbian to gay to BDSM to stranger sex, you can find it all. The Internet is also full of places to get steamy erotica for free. Just consider Tumblr, where many aspiring authors practice their craft – and you can join right in!
But erotica isn’t just about reading it. Writing it can be just as fun and get your blood pumping enough to encourage you to better learn how to have sex with yourself. You can even start your own blog to showcase your sexy stories. If you want feedback on your stories, you can post them on sites such as Literotica, which has an active roleplaying and erotica-writing community. BooksieSilk is another website where you can publish your own erotica and read stories from others.
Enjoy Some Porn
Think that only men enjoy porn? Think again! If you’re an especially visual person, you might enjoy watching others flirt, tease and ultimately get down to business. You can put yourself in the roles of people on screen or simply appreciate beautiful bodies. You might even pick up a few tips. Thanks to the Internet, there are as many places to get your porn fix as there are types of porn.
Don’t forget to take some notes for things you might want to try when you have sex with yourself or your partner the next time you get a chance!
Of course, there are plenty of things you can do to get into the mood and to increase your pleasure potential. Sneaking in an orgasm in public places like the back of the bus or a fitting room, sending sexy texts to your partner or even a stranger to help you get off and taking boudoir photos to boost your confidence are all things that many women enjoy. And while you might not like all of these ideas or even want to add them to your masturbation routine often, you can enjoy learning how to have sex with yourself without any pressure!
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