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Every bad girl may love having sex with a partner who wants nothing more to please her, but your sexuality doesn’t have to end there. In fact, if you haven’t taken time to have sex with yourself, you might be missing out on some of the best that human sexuality has to offer.
Not only does masturbation help to relieve stress and insomnia and improve overall health, but you can learn what turns you on and helps get you off to have better sex with your partners. Your solo sex life doesn’t need to be stale, either. Just try some of these tips to learn how to have sex with yourself and love it!
Side note: If you are currently struggling to orgasm during sex or masturbation, then you may want to learn about the Easy Orgasm Solution. It will teach you how to have multiple vaginal and full body orgasms during sex and masturbation. It works even if you currently struggle to orgasm during sex or when masturbating. You can find out more here.
Get Intimate With Your G-Spot
Your G-spot is a pretty amazing part of your anatomy, which you’ll learn when you’re having sex with yourself. Although you may have experienced G-spot stimulation during sex in the past, having the time to discover where your G-spot is and what it responds to can open up your world sexually.
To start, your G-spot is located against the front wall of your vagina behind your pubic bone. Some women have a G-spot located closer to the vaginal opening, which can make it easier to find and stimulate, but toys that are curved or hooked fingers will do the trick, too! Check out our G-spot guide with images.
Your G-spot feels a bit bumpy and might stand out from the very slight valleys on either side. The G-spot, also known as the female prostate, is actually spongey material that you can stimulate through the vaginal wall. G-spots often respond to thrusting, especially vigorous thrusting, more than vibration, which is why a curved sex toy is so useful.
Stimulation of the G-spot can lead to G-spot orgasms, which many women describe as more intense and full-bodied than clitoral orgasms, or even squirting. We recommend lying a towel down on the bed if you’re worried about a mess. If you’re a prolific squirter – congratulations, by the way! – Liberator makes an absorbent blanket called the Fascinator Throe to protect your furniture!
Cum From Clitoral Stimulation
Most women can more easily obtain clitoral orgasms than other types, and it’s definitely easier to find this fleshy nub that’s located just a few inches above your vagina. You don’t need sexy toys to achieve clitoral orgasm and have sex with yourself in a satisfying manner, either. All you need is to slip your hand into your panties and stroke away. Experiment with tapping, pinching, stroking on either side and down the clitoral “legs” toward your vagina.
Related: If you want to give your man back-arching, toe-curling, screaming orgasms that will keep him sexually addicted to you, then you'll find them in my private and discreet newsletter. You'll also learn the 5 dangerous & "dumb" sex mistakes that turn him off and how to avoid them. Get it here.
You might enjoy clit play more when your hand remains outside your panties, and the seam of your jeans can provide adequate stimulation — even accidentally! In fact, many women experimented with some sort of dry humping because of the fantastic clitoral sensations it provides. More on clitoral stimulation here.
Explore Anal Stimulation
You might already know that you enjoy anal stimulation if you’ve engaged in anal sex with a partner, but you shouldn’t write it off as an activity that always requires a lover. Thanks to anal toys, which should always have flared bases to be used safely, you can stimulate your back door during masturbation. You might learn that you love double penetration or like a butt plug inserted while bringing yourself to clitoral climax.
However, anal stimulation doesn’t have to mean penetration. Rubbing around your sphincter with your fingers or a toy can be quite pleasurable for many women. Don’t forget to scratch, spank, or grab your ass when it feels right. It’s yours to enjoy, after all!
Don’t Forget the Nipples
Although you may not experience nipple-based orgasms like some unrealistic Hollywood portrayals, this doesn’t mean your breasts can’t add to the mood when you have sex with yourself. You might prefer tender caresses, a deep-tissue massage with silky smooth oil or pinching your nipples.
There are also a few implements that can improve breast and nipple stimulation. These include nipple clamps, some of which vibrate, and pumps that add suction, but you can always use a vibrator on your bosom! More tips on nipple clamps here.
Use a Dildo
We’re obviously big fans of phallic sex toys here. If you can’t get the real thing or if you simply want to learn how to have sex with yourself without the stress of considering your partner, then a dildo can be your new best friend. With body-safe and realistic silicone formulas, rigid glass or ceramic that respond to temperature changes and dildos with ridges, bulges and angled G-spot heads, there’s a dildo for every woman out there.
Having sex with yourself will be more fun than ever once you find your new favorite, and we won’t judge if you become something of a connoisseur. After all, shopping is half the fun! Learn how to use your new dildo here.
However, you should know a few things when shopping for dildos. PVC, jelly, rubber, Cyber Skin and other porous materials can harbor bacteria no matter how well you clean them. Never swap between partners or orifices without using a condom. Silicone, stainless steel, glass and wood dildos are among those that can safely be sterilized!
Try a Vibrator
If you need something more than just a dildo, introduce yourself to a buzzy friend. There are generally two types: internal (vaginal or G-spot) and clitoral vibrators. An internal vibrator can also be used to thrust like a dildo, but one of the perks is that it can double as stimulation for you clitoris while you’re having sex with yourself. If your vibrator has a flared base, you can also safely use it for anal stimulation. But dedicated clit vibes tend to be more discreet and easy to travel with or use when you just can’t wait to treat yourself to an orgasm!
If you need a lot of power, look for a wand-style vibrator that plugs directly into the wall. The Original Magic Wand is a great example, and you don’t just have to use it when learning how to have sex by yourself because it’s great on aches and pains too. Dual stimulation vibrators, of which the rabbit is a perfect example, can hit all those sweet spots at once, too.
Have Sex With Yourself in the Shower
Many women first experiment with masturbation in the shower or tub. The feeling of water spraying against your clitoris and vulva isn’t like sex or a vibrator at all, which is why you might love it.
Plus, shower time is the only time you might have to yourself to relax if you live with other people or even have kids. A detachable shower head that you can aim between your legs is the most convenient, but you can scoot under your faucet if you have a tub too. Oh, and if your a squirter, the shower is the perfect place to do it, as it’s so easy to wash away after you’re done.
Turn on the Tunes
If you’ve got a favorite song that just makes you want to move your hips or boosts your confidence so you feel incredibly sexy, use it to improve the mood while having sex with yourself.
It doesn’t matter if it’s something by Marvin Gaye, a cliché Def Leppard hit or something that would never be played on mainstream radio as long as you like it! Press “Play” on your laptop, turn your phone on speaker or invest in a portable Bluetooth speaker to enjoy music while you masturbate. Not only will it help you get in the mood, but it can prevent others from knowing what you’re up to!
Revel in Erotica
No matter what you might want to read about, you’re sure to find it. One publisher that specializes in scintillating sexy stories is Cleis Press, which publishes erotica anthologies and full-length novels from talented authors including Alison Tyler. From straight to lesbian to gay to BDSM to stranger sex, you can find it all. The Internet is also full of places to get steamy erotica for free. Just consider Tumblr, where many aspiring authors practice their craft – and you can join right in!
But erotica isn’t just about reading it. Writing it can be just as fun and get your blood pumping enough to encourage you to better learn how to have sex with yourself. You can even start your own blog to showcase your sexy stories. If you want feedback on your stories, you can post them on sites such as Literotica, which has an active roleplaying and erotica-writing community. BooksieSilk is another website where you can publish your own erotica and read stories from others.
Enjoy Some Porn
Think that only men enjoy porn? Think again! If you’re an especially visual person, you might enjoy watching others flirt, tease and ultimately get down to business. You can put yourself in the roles of people on screen or simply appreciate beautiful bodies. You might even pick up a few tips. Thanks to the Internet, there are as many places to get your porn fix as there are types of porn.
Don’t forget to take some notes for things you might want to try when you have sex with yourself or your partner the next time you get a chance!
Of course, there are plenty of things you can do to get into the mood and to increase your pleasure potential. Sneaking in an orgasm in public places like the back of the bus or a fitting room, sending sexy texts to your partner or even a stranger to help you get off and taking boudoir photos to boost your confidence are all things that many women enjoy. And while you might not like all of these ideas or even want to add them to your masturbation routine often, you can enjoy learning how to have sex with yourself without any pressure!
Elle says
Is there a type of orgasm that comes from pressing outside; on your abdomen? My entire life; all I have had to do was press on my abdomen; and I have very strong orgasms. Its the place where the gyno presses. I don’t have to press hard; and it only takes a few seconds. I’m afraid that I’m some kind of freak
Sean Jameson says
Sounds pretty normal to me Elle 🙂 Nothing to be worried about
Jacqueline says
Hi Sean!
Recently when I have been trying to ‘pleasure myself’, I haven’t been feeling anything, not pain nor pleasure. I am getting frustrated at the fact that I can’t get anywhere, which makes me cranky throughout the day. I really need help, do you have any tips?
Sean Jameson says
Hi Jacqueline,
The key is only focusing on what feels pleasurable. Don’t worry so much about having an orgasm, only do what you find pleasurable. So this might mean stroking yourself with lighter touches, using more lube, using a different technique, reading some erotica first to get aroused or even something else.
Sean
TyShae says
I love having sex with my boyfriend. He and I decided I could get wetter if I masturbate when he’s away but whenever I try I don’t get wet at all and I also don’t feel any pleasure whatsoever. Help!?
Skylar Pencilmen says
Just lick your fingers and stick them in your vajj gently and do what he does in there OK? OK! If that don’t work just say so and I have some more technician
Bonner Scott says
What do I do when I want to have sex and my husband can’t or won’t because he thinks we are to old I 50 and he will be 55
Sean Jameson says
Talk to him. This guide should help.
Orgasm Virgin says
Hi,
So I’ve been sexually active for about 3 years with the same man (my husband). I love him and I love having sex with him and while it is great, I have never been able to achieve an orgasm. Not even once. I’ve tried masturbating, with and without vibrators which I bought off the Adam and Eve website, and I just can’t get myself over the edge. This is so frustrating. I enjoy having sex with my husband I just want to know what one feels like. He will play and play with me but it gets to a point where my clit becomes too sensitive that I need to have him stop. Any advice?
Sean Jameson says
Sounds super frustrating. The key is always focusing on what feels most pleasurable and not getting overly anxious about hitting the peak having an orgasm. It’s a bit counterintuitive, the more you focus and stress about climaxing, the less likely it is to happen. The Masturbation Guide will give you a lot of ideas to try out on your own.
Zara says
Beautiful I want to fuck my self today
Ella says
I want a type of masturbation that takes my breath away and gives me a hard turn on. I rub and I play and yes I get wet but I never feel pleasure. I have had sex before and even then I felt nothing. Help me… I really want a breathless and exotic time!!
Sean Jameson says
Check out the Orgasm Guide here for a full roadmap on how to have intense orgasms.
Nicole says
Is there a way to hump a dildo without holding it? I think it would be more fun for me if I could do that.
Jasmine says
I always spanking myself with a hanger and hair brush then paddle and strap and a paddle and strap and a stick then a switch as hard as I can untill I bleeding when my husband doesn’t we spanking each other bare butt all day everyday this week is my turn to get spanked one week I gets spanked the next week I spanking him if it is my week for spanking but he does something bad I spanking him with a belt same thing goes with me one time he smacked me once with a switch very hard after having sex and I started bleeding bad but he kept whacking HARD AS HELL I cried like crazy.
Layla SMith says
you need help
Virgin! says
So, I’ve tried everything to have an orgasm, but nothing is working! I’m a virgin and single, but I really want to have an orgasm! Any advice?
Alicia says
I want to know how i can cum without having sex cos i am a virgin because i keep rubbing my clit and stimulate myself to the extent that my legs start shaking and my clit gets sensitive but nothing usually happens after that
Sean Jameson says
This orgasm guide should help 😉
Ann says
I have been using a a Paloqueth Realistic Soft Dildo I recently bought a month ago for personal pleasure. I like to thrust and penetrate slow and easy into my vagina eventually go fast and harder. I do this every time in order because I love that feeling when I’m done and I’m laying in bed or walking that I can feel still feel it in me for a long time afterward. Sometimes I feel like I’m getting an orgasm sometimes I don’t.