This discreet newsletter will teach you how to make him cum hard, give freaky blow jobs & make him scream your name in bed. Click here to get it.
We decided to put some sex toys to work around the house.
1. Fake Vagina Dish Towel Holder
Keeping those dish towels close by, but out of the way can be a tricky proposition. Thankfully we’ve found a tasteful and elegant solution with a tight grip to fit seamlessly with your kitchen.
Side note: If you currently struggle to orgasm, then you may want to learn about the Easy Orgasm Solution. It will teach you how to orgasm easily and reliably. It works even if you find it challenging to orgasm during sex or when masturbating. You can find out more here.
2. Suction Cup Dildo Loo Roll Holder
Looking for a tasteful way to add some “je ne sais quoi” to your bathroom without spending a fortune? Hello Kitty toilet paper optional…
Learn: How to use a dildo for intense pleasure.
3. Ring Toss With Butt Plugs & Cock Rings
Your partner may be nagging you to try something new, but remind him that stretching your imagination is important as sometimes the simplest games are also the most pleasurable. Using cock rings and butt plugs can help…
All joking aside, if you’d like to learn how to man a man cry in the bedroom with sexual satisfaction, then the Bad Girls Bible can help with that.
4. Dildo Door Stop
Say “No” to scuffs, scratches and unsightly scrapes with this unobtrusive door stop.
Squirting: Any woman can experience the life-changing pleasure of squirting, if you follow the right process. I demonstrate the most powerful squirting techniques and explain the process, step-by-step in the Squirting Magic Guide.
5. Strapon Unicorn Mask
Why not go for a classy & tasteful costume this Halloween. You may notice that although it certainly is understated, it subtly pokes fun at Austrian macroeconomic theory.
Discover: How to use a strapon to peg your partner.
6. Butt Plug Juicer
A perfect way to start your day is with some freshly squeezed, organic orange juice. Make sure to thoroughly clean your butt plug before squeezing, otherwise you are in for some shitty tasting OJ.
Here it is in action!
More: What is a butt plug and how to use it.
7. Sex Doll Fashion Mannequin
Not sure what to wear tomorrow? Why not use a fashion mannequin to figure out what pieces work best together.
8. A Lousy Coat Hook
While you can learn how to give a great blow job on the Bad Girls Bible, we probably aren’t the best people to talk to about installing a new coat hook.
Related: 31 things you can use as a dildo.
Talk dirty confidently: It's surprisingly easy to turn a man on and have him lusting for you, by using a few simple dirty phrases. You'll find these dirty phrases in the Wild Dirty Talk Guide. You'll also learn how to confidently say them.
9. Penis Extender Chair Leg Protectors
Save your floor from scratches and scuffs by using these colorful chair leg protectors.
Side note: We examined the science behind making your penis bigger.
10. Fake Vagina Pen Holder
Always have a pen at the ready to write down your deepest ideas.
Of course, you may be more interested in our practical tips on how to finger yourself.
11. Wrist Restraints Curtain Tieback
Lack of lighting can dampen the mood of most rooms. So use a good curtain tieback that will hold any curtain away from the window, no matter how much it struggles, fights and tries to get away…
More: Learn about what bondage is and what bondage positions are most fun.
12. Fake Vagina Cigarette Filter
While we’re anti smoking at the Bad Girls Bible, some people do enjoy a cigarette after sex.
Quick Quiz: Do You Give Lousy Blow Jobs?
If you are new here, then you may want to take the quiz below to learn how good you are at giving oral sex and satisfying your man. You may discover you that you suck (pun intended) or that you are already a blow job queen.
Rather than smelling like smoke, you can learn how to make your vagina smell (and taste) great.
13. Anal Bead Necklace
If you’re on a budget and don’t want to drop more money on jewelry, then it’s time to improvise…
Discover: How to use anal beads during sex and masturbation.
14. Giant Dildo Bookend
“A cluttered house is a cluttered mind”, that’s a phrase that’s so salient. So make sure to use a big, heavy bookend to keep your books tightly & firmly in place.
15. Nipple Clamp Glasses Necklace
Hands up if you ever have trouble finding your glasses! It happens to the best of us, but it doesn’t need to happen anymore with an adjustable glasses holder necklace
Learn: How to use nipple play to have powerful nipple orgasms.
16. Pocket Pussy Beer Koozie/Stubby Holder
Nothing beats a cold, refreshing beverage on a hot summers day. Keep it cool with this simple tip
On a side note: You can learn how to tighten your vagina through specific exercises like kegels.
Quick Warning: While this instructional video is quite distressing, it will teach you how to make your lover cry with orgasmic pleasure and become sexually addicted to you. If you are interested in having someone completely obsessed with you and only you, then check out the detailed (& explicit!) oral sex tutorial video here.
17. Penis Sleeve Sports Grips
A firm grip on your tennis racket or golf club ensures great ball control. The same can be said when you’re swinging for that shuttle cock.
18. Suction Cup Dildo Fridge Handles
It’s frustrating when the handle on your fridge breaks off. Even worse when the second one breaks too! Thankfully there is a stylish solution for opening and closing your fridge.
19. Butt Plug Wine Stopper
You’ll never need to worry about your wine spoiling again with this playful wine stopper.
20. Fake Vagina Headrest
Sitting for long periods without good neck and head support is silly if you care about your health. Thankfully this headrest makes your head & neck feel like they’re trapped between a little bit of heaven.
21. Double Ball Gag Ear Defenders
Working in loud, noisy environments can do long term damage to your hearing. Stay safe and keep things quiet with these opulent ear defenders.
22. Nipple Clamp Photo Holders
Hang your memories on the wall to remind yourself of times past.
23. Butt Plug Sink Plug
Sink plugs always seem to disappear without a trace. Now you have a back up plan.
If you want to give your man back-arching, toe-curling, screaming orgasms that will keep him sexually addicted to you, then you'll find them in my private and discreet newsletter. You'll also learn the 5 dangerous & "dumb" sex mistakes that turn him off and how to avoid them. Get it here.
24. Knuckle Duster Dildo Cable Organizer
No matter what you do, your headphones cables are going to get tangled with the rest of your computer cables…unless you take some aggressive action with a cable organizer.
Learn more about using sex toys during sex.
25. Giant Dildo Lamp Base
After you choose a style of lamp you find attractive, make sure to check that it has a sturdy base.
26. Penis Extender Umbrella Handle
The last thing you want to let go of when there is a downpour is your umbrella. The right grip is essential if you don’t want to get your hair wet.
27. Lube Launcher Shot Glasses
Here’s a fun new way to get socially lubricated.
Discover: why you may need lube and what you can use for lube.
28. Rubber Fist Letter Holder
Organizing your mail just got a little easier thanks to this punchy mail holder.
If you’re into fisting yourself or your partner, then using a rubber fist is a great way to try it out.
29. Penis Pump Plunger
While the rest of these ideas are fun, this penis pump is just incredibly useful if you have a blocked sink or drain. It just sucks everything out of it. I’m totally serious by the way!
Penis pumps aren’t the only way to get hard. You should also check out these tips on how to get rock hard and stay hard.
30. Rubber Fist Jewelry Model
Get jewelry inspiration and discover what fits best.
31. Penis Sleeve Car Customizations
All you ricers out there are gonna love the latest accessories to make your car look ridiculous.
32. Water Pistol Penis
Why not drench your friend and leave them dripping with your efforts using this discreet water pistol?
Quick Warning: This tutorial video will teach you how to make your girl scream with pleasure and become sexually addicted to you. If you are interested in having her completely obsessed with you and only you, then check out the detailed (& explicit!) pussy eating tutorial video here.
Orgasm Every Time. Easily. Here’s How...
I want to tell you about my friend Karen.
Karen came to me one day. She was hysterical.
She told me that her marriage was falling apart because she and her husband didn’t have satisfying sex.
Every time they were intimate, Karen was faking her orgasms. It turns out she couldn’t orgasm during sex.
In fact...
She never had an orgasm in her entire life. Not one!
This left her feeling embarrassed and ashamed. And...
She completely hid this from her husband. Thankfully...
It turns out that there is a way for any woman to orgasm. Easily. And have multiple vaginal and full body orgasms during sex and masturbation.
I shared the process with Karen.
After she followed the simple process, she could barely come to terms with how...
Quickly and dramatically her sex life changed.
We met up a few months later and...
She would not stop talking about it,
“I thought I was one of those women who couldn’t orgasm. I used to think I was ‘broken’ and ‘unfixable.’ This saved my sex life, and that saved my marriage.”
Even if you currently struggle to orgasm during sex or when masturbating, this process will also work for you.
And best of all, you don’t need to do anything weird or uncomfortable to start having the best orgasms and sex of your life.
Hi Sean, thanks for your email. You were missed. Hope everything’s fine. I enjoyed your email as usual. Again keep up the good work. God Bless
“God bless” – very appropriate to this post…
Anyone know who makes or where to buy #13? That thing looks awesome.
All of this was amazing, hilarious, and looked like one hell of a fun project to brainstorm and photograph. Nice work! 😀
This is brilliant, spat my coffee over the keyboard!
So can I get some product info on #13 that thing looks awesome.
Just google “Giant Dildo”. Can’t quite remember what the product name was, we got it a while ago.
Sean
ANY SEX SHOP WILL HAVE THEM MOST ARE MADE OF PLASTIC THE STAINLESS STEEL ARE CALLED THE 7 GATES OF HELL
IF YOU HAVE A SEX SUPER STORE NEAR YOU THEY WILL HAVE
I wish you had uses for fake sex boobs! My friend has two sets and she doesn’t know what to do with them! It was a drunken Amazon shopping experience. Don’t ask.
Lol, you’ve got me thinking…
Head/neck rest! Super comfy!
Stacey, the rooster is in the fox house. We need to get the dinosaur to the lamp. Winter is coming. Hail Satan! (or Stan, we get confused)
That’s just soo wrong
Where can I purchase the door stop and the head rest? TAKE MY MONEY
Cant stop laughing.
The things you come up with, man that shits fucking funny
Lol love it
Jesus Fucking Chris! Can it be any funnier?
Hi Sean,
OMG ROTFLMFAO! Forgive the email speak, but it really lets you know that it was hilarious. Besides, I really couldn’t say OH MY GOD ROLLING ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING MY FUCKING ASS OFF! I see a market…
OMG Sean,,, i loved it,,, i really did LOL,,,, also i want to thank you for all of your insight,,, teachings and suggestions…. i hope all is well w/ you and yours
You lied Sean! That’s totally 32 uses!
OMG!Im crying from laughing too hard.
Hello Sean hope you are well just seen the sex toys and they were hilarious and funny.
Couldn’t stop giggling, found it quiet fascinating thank you for sharing Sean
Can’t HELP laughing …. ROTFLMAO!!!!!
Hello Kitty T.P? I’ve never seen such a thing. Years ago we used to have colored and flowered etc. And of course the display joke kind. Virgin Again, Presidential, Blah, Blah, Blah. I wonder if it had to do with the dye being irritating? Things that make you go hhhmm? oh well.
Loved the great multi-tasking!
P.S.
You have been pretty regular with your emails. Then I noticed this was a classic revisited. Still funny! Thanks for the great info. Always open your mail first! Carry on…
Oh how I laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed
Thanks!!
These are @#$!ing awesome!
i love to fuck my wife in anal and she like that as will … but she still tight and she do not believe in anal training … and also i love to see her using huge dildo in both anal and pussy .. how to convince her to do ….
i love to make her wield in sex . and she is quite .
They key is…talking to her so she knows what you want and you know what she wants AND doesn’t want.
Excellent use for the toys you no longer use LOL! Thanks for the laugh 🙂