All the sexy blogs and magazines are talking about edging these days! What is edging? Edging is sometimes known as orgasm control when it’s done by your partner with the intent to control when, how and sometimes how intensely you can cum. However, you can experiment with edging yourself if you’re so inclined.
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What Is Edging Good For?
Bringing yourself to the precipice of orgasm and backing off, especially if you can do it repeatedly, can lead to more intense orgasms and more gratifying release (more tips on that here). As a woman, edging might be easier than if you were a man, who can have a more difficult time preventing themselves from cumming.
Get ready to spend more time masturbating or having sex if you want to try edging. This isn’t about the quickie or keeping your eye on the goal (orgasm). Edging can be done alone or with the help of your partner, which makes it especially fun. Orgasm control at your partner’s hands allows him to better understand your body, which increases intimacy just like cuddling or a long talk might. Plus, you never know when you’ll be able to cum if your man takes the reigns!
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But edging isn’t for everyone. Some people find it frustrating. This may be the case if backing off from orgasm causes you to miss that window of opportunity, only to lose your orgasm during the session completely. You may also have to start over, without any of the residual buildup. Every body is different, which is why it’s so important to pay attention to yours. You know best!
Edging might be easier at some times rather than others, which is perfectly okay. Although you might want to encourage it, some sessions won’t be conducing to the prolonged orgasm. It’s okay to let that goal go for another time. After all, what is edging helping if it’s only causing disappointment?
Get It Right With These Edging Techniques
You might be excited now that you know what edging is, but you might find it more difficult than anticipated if you want to jump right into it. Proper edging techniques require you to recognize and understand your body’s response to sexual stimulation. It’s not enough to feel the approach of orgasm, you have to know when you’re getting past the point of no return. At that point, you’ll likely reach orgasm no matter how much you might want to edge, which negates the entire process.
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However, edging isn’t about avoiding that point. Rather, you want to get as close as possible without going over it. This can be hard if you’ve always been focused on the end goal of orgasm. Mastering this skill is key to enjoying orgasm control or edging, so you should begin to pay more attention to the orgasms you already have instead of just allowing them to happen. One thing to note is that this point might feel a little differently based on the type of stimulation.
For example, you might have an easier time recognizing and controlling the point of no return if you’re using a vibrator on yourself as opposed to receiving oral sex from your partner. More on vibrators in this guide.
Here are some tried and true techniques to help you get used to edging:
- Stimulate your sensitive spots in the normal way – with your lover’s skilled tongue or vibrator, for example. Slow down once you approach the point of no return.
- Use slow and steady stimulation rather than a quick buildup. If you typically aim to get off as quickly as possible, this method might be a good method to your utilitarian approach.
- Switch techniques as soon as you feel the point of no return oncoming. So move from your vibrator to your fingers.
- Stop stimulating your current sensitive spot and move to another type of stimulation. For example, you might back off from your clit and move to penetrative sex for vaginal, G-spot or A-spot stimulation. Perhaps you’ll take a break from clitoral stimulation and focus on your back door! Pleasuring multiple spots at once or in a session can lead to more intense orgasms over which you have more control and may even enable you to have multiple orgasms!
- Redirect your focus away from sexual stimulation entirely to prevent yourself from cumming. One method you might find useful is to focus on your breathing. As you get closer to the point of no return, your breathing is probably quicker and more shallow, so taking the time to focus on each breath and inhale and exhale more slowly is one of the best unexpected edging techniques.
- Imagine your arousal and proximity to orgasm on a scale of 1 to 10, where 1 is not aroused or close to cumming at all and 10 is right on the verge. Try to categorize where you are on the scale at any given time. Whenever you’re higher than an 8 (7 if you’re point of no return is more fleeting!), back off, slow down or stop what you’re doing entirely!
Tips to Make Edging Even Better
Although we at the BadGirlsBible absolutely recommend learning what edging is and how your body reacts to it on your own, especially at first, it’s wonderful to add your partner to the mix. One of the great aspects of edging with your lover is the ability to tell him to tease you or not to let you orgasm! Hopefully, your man will find this power over your body super sexy! More on why power play is so hot.
This will definitely be the case if your partner is the dominant one, and you may even be reading this article because your partner introduced you to prolonged orgasms, and you didn’t know what they were called!
Secondly, we cannot emphasize how important it is to use enough lube, especially if edging involves prolonged anal or vaginal penetration. Even your clitoris and vulva might want a little of the slick stuff to keep the friction to a minimum and to prevent any possible tearing. A high-quality silicone lube that’s condom compatible is what we recommend since water-based lubes can become sticky as they dry over time.
Can Men Edge?
Before you run off to try this edging thing on yourself, you might be wondering if your man can do it, too. The good news is yes, he can! Although, it can be more difficult for men to prolong orgasm, which also involves ejaculation.
You can use some of the same techniques from above when it comes to slowing down or changing parts of your body that you’re stimulating. Breathing exercises can also help your man gain more control over his body.
Here are a few male-centric tips to help your lover with his quest to edge:
- When he’s about to cum, one of you can reach between his legs and firmly wrap your thumb and forefinger around his scrotum in a loop. Tug down gently but firmly to prevent ejaculation.
- Take control of his edging experience with a position such as cowgirl, where you control the pace and depth of sex.
- Introduce your partner to the edging scale of 1 to 10 and check with him periodically to ensure he’s not going to orgasm. If you’re controlling his orgasms, he might beg or plead to cum or for a certain type of sensation, but you don’t have to give it to him! This might be a great way to introduce domination to the bedroom.
Some people argue that edging can help to make a man’s penis bigger, reduce erectile dysfunction or even add years to his life because ejaculation saps a man’s body of his life force. This might not be scientific, but edging can definitely help him last longer in bed if premature ejaculation is an issue. And what’s not to like about that idea?
When you first experiment with edging, you may lack the control it takes to get it right, but don’t be hard on yourself. Keep practicing either by yourself or with your partner, and you might soon be an edging expert. However, if you’re already having trouble reaching orgasm or edging just leaves you frustrated, there’s no rule that says you have to do it. After all, different folks require different strokes – especially when it comes to sex!
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