How To Moan Easily & Confidently During Sex

Few things are hotter than hearing someone’s moans of pleasure during sex. Yet it’s super common to struggle or ask, “Why don’t I moan?” This guide will teach you how to moan during sex and give you the confidence to do so every time!

Moaning during sex is a type of copulatory or coital vocalization, which just means a sound that’s made while doin’ it, similar to talking dirty during sex. Chances are, if you’re wondering how to moan during sex, you’re naturally quieter, which is fine. However, you might be a moaner by the time you finish this guide! Let’s start with an important question…

Why do people moan during sex?

Multiple studies have investigated why people make noises in bed. Their findings might surprise you!

Moaning Isn’t Just Sexual

Sounds of liking – The authors of one paper suggest that moaning during sex “is perhaps best understood as sounds of liking rather than signals specific to copulation [1].” In other words, the researchers found that making noise during sex is less about sex specifically and shows that a person likes something [1].

This explains why people sometimes moan when eating a delicious meal or even touching something that feels good. The authors explain that moaning because you like something is an expression of genuine pleasure, meaning you don’t control it.

Sounds of physical activity – The paper goes on to explain that sexual moaning also “may be mere side effects of vigorous physical activity [1].”

Think about it…

People often moan and grunt when working out, especially when lifting heavy weights or playing tennis, and sex can be a similarly intense, physical experience!

Moaning During Sex Serves a Purpose.. or Three

Please and speed up your partner – But when it comes to specifically making noise and moaning during sex, researchers found that it may “please, vocally guide, or speed up the partner [1].” This is backed up by a different study that found for women, “sexual vocalization was most frequent during penetration itself compared with other forms of sexual activities [2].”

During his orgasm – Another study of 71 heterosexual women found their moaning/sounds are most likely to happen around their partner’s orgasm and not their own: “copulatory vocalizations were reported to be made most often before and simultaneously with male ejaculation [3].”

To increase sexual satisfaction – A further study suggests that women specifically believe that making noises during sex can increase sexual satisfaction and the desire for further sexual activity: “coital vocalizations increased desire for further sexual activity and increased satisfaction with intercourse [4].” That theory may hold water as the study found that women who are vocal in bed tend to desire and have more sex, and they typically become aroused and have orgasms more readily than women who don’t make much noise during sex. The results aren’t statistically significant, so the differences aren’t huge, but they’re interesting, anyway!

Why Else Do People Moan in Bed?

Of course, there are other reasons someone might moan in bed.

You saw other people do it – Maybe you do it because it’s what you’ve seen or read about in the media and think it’s what you’re supposed to do. After all, moaning is a big thing in porn, and Meg Ryan’s moaning when she faked an orgasm in When Harry Met Sally has certainly left an impression!

Your partner wants it – Or maybe you moan in bed because your partner has asked you to do it or to do it more. Hearing a partner moan can be hot and let us know if they’re enjoying themselves.

It turns you on – You might even be turned on by the sound of your own sexual moaning, and there’s nothing wrong with that!

How to Moan Confidently During Sex

It can be hard to moan during sex with confidence, especially if you’re naturally quiet or have been shamed by the sounds you make by a past partner. Here are a few tips to ease into it.

Try It While Masturbating

If you feel self-conscious about moaning in front of a partner, you can try it out when masturbating or fingering yourself first. This allows you to get accustomed to your own voice and discover the sound or combination of sounds that come most naturally.

Read next: 14 wildly pleasurable masturbation techniques.

You can work your way up from moaning quietly to a more audible sound by yourself.

Start by Breathing

If you’re really struggling to moan during sex, you can start by focusing on your breathing. First, you can breathe into your partner’s ear, which many people find to be super sexy!

You can also try breathing out more forcefully or letting a little of your voice escape as you exhale. That’s essentially a quiet moan! From there, you can add more vocalization.

Psst, do you need a confidence boost when riding your partner? Check out our guide to riding your partner with confidence.

Hum It

Instead of making yourself moan with an open mouth, you can try a closed-mouth humming sound, more like an “Mmm” or “Hmm” sound. People often make similar noises when they like something, so why not try it in bed?

Keep It Real

Although the media depicts a lot of forced moans that are loud, almost screams, these often sound really fake, and fake moaning can be a turn-off. You don’t need to make yourself moan loudly if that’s not what comes naturally to you. Quiet, but real moans are sexy moans.

Focus on What Feels Good

If you’re caught up in how you sound (or look) during sex, it might be harder to moan well. Instead, focus on how you feel. Paying attention to your body and the sensations it’s experiencing (a type of mindfulness) can bring pleasure and help you orgasm more easily in general. It also gives you the cues to moan!

Express Delight

Finally, you can use a sound similar to what you’d use to express delight or amazement… but in a sexy way. These words can help bridge the gap between talking and moaning in pleasure.

The words/sounds include:

• Oh
• Ooh
• Ahh
• Uh
• Um

Drawing out the word, like a long “Oooh,” can make it sexier. You can also try speaking more breathily or lowering your voice a bit to increase the sexy factor.

Roleplay a Moaner

If you struggle to moan as yourself, try playing a character who is known for their sexy moans. You might even pretend to be a porn star!

Check out these role playing ideas for inspiration, or follow our guide to BDSM role playing if you like things a little kinkier (23 kinky sex ideas).

Record Yourself

This tip to learn how to moan won’t be for everyone. After all, it’s sometimes hard to hear recordings of yourself.

But you might find it helpful to record yourself, either video or just audio is fine, and then listening back to yourself. This way, you can really understand how you moan and decide if it’s up to snuff.

And if you really can’t figure out how to moan naturally, that’s okay. It’s not for everyone! You can still use dirty talk and communicate in other ways to show your partner what you like.

Check out our guide to sexual communication for advice.

Types of Moaning During Sex

Below are some common types of moans or sounds you might make during sex. Try not to get too caught up in the specific type of moan. It’s common for the noises that people make to be a blend of multiple types of moans or sounds.

Standard Moaning

The most basic definition of moaning is a long, low sound. That’s why the noises made by a ghost in a story or show are sometimes described as moaning. However, not every sound you make in bed will be long or low.

Guttural Moaning

A guttural sound comes from your throat and may sound harsh. Guttural moaning might sound like it has a bit more “oomph” behind it than a typical moan and may be more common during orgasm. But that’s not always the case.

Speaking of your throat: How to deep throat without gagging.

Whimpering

While whimpering during sex isn’t exactly moaning, it’s a common sound made during sex. You might associate whimpering animals or someone who’s in pain or scared. During sex, whimpering can indicate pleasure or a desire for more.

If you want to know how to whimper, start by taking a breath and closing your mouth so your lips touch. Whimpering is likely a hum with the addition of a high-pitched noise coming from your throat. Repeatedly whimpering a few times quickly can be hot or indicate begging, which is perfect if you practice BDSM.

Related: Learn How To Be Submissive & Have Kinkier Sex

Squealing

Another sound that people sometimes make during sex is squealing. This sort of high-pitched cry can indicate extreme pleasure or being overwhelmed–or both, as is sometimes the case with sex.

Crying

Whimpering may go along with crying during/after sex, especially with orgasm. Crying during sex isn’t necessarily bad, even though it could happen as a result of pain during sex. It may just reflect the release, both emotional and physical, or the connection experienced during sex.

While crying can be loud, similar to a cough or hiccup, or may be a loud sob with big, wet tears, it’s not always obvious. Sometimes crying is nearly silent, and tears may be the only sign. Not everyone cries with tears, however.

Crying can also happen when being spanked by your partner.

Sighing

Sighs, especially sighs of pleasure, may happen during foreplay and sex. You may have found yourself–or heard a partner–making a big satisfied sigh after sex and especially orgasm.

Gasping

Gasping happens when you sharply breathe in through your mouth. People often gasp when shocked or surprised, and that’s usually just as true inside the bedroom as it is outside.

Gasping is common during initial penetration and can sometimes be a bit of a performance to feed a partner’s ego. A large penis can also make you gasp.

Related: Big Penis Sex – The Good, The Bad and the Painful

But you might also gasp if your partner suddenly changes sex position or does something, like pinch you or surprise you during impact play. A long kiss that takes your breath away can also make you gasp.

Short Breaths

Rather than a big gasp, some people do shorter, sharper breaths.

Sometimes, fast breathing can lead to tingling in your arms, hands, or mouth if you’re not getting enough oxygen. This is known as hyperventilation, which is usually associated with being scared, but can happen during sex, too. If it happens to you, slow down your breathing.

Rhythmic Moaning

Sexual moaning can sometimes mirror the movement of sex, including thrusting. This makes it sound quite rhythmic. Sometimes, people naturally moan more rhythmically, even if it doesn’t match the activity.

Dirty Talk

While moaning is different from dirty talk because you don’t generally moan full words, the two go well together! You can add some dirty talk to your moans, especially if it’s easier for you to talk than it is to moan.

When talking dirty, you can use a few key words like “Yes,” “Oh, baby,” or your partner’s name. Dirty talking can also include how good something feels, what you want them to do, how much you want them or like looking at them, just to name a few

These 64 dirty talk examples should give you some ideas of what to say to your partner.

Myths About Moaning During Sex

Before we go, let’s bust a few myths about moaning.

Myth: Porn is accurate and shows the right way to moan.

Fact: Porn is for entertainment. Much of what you see in it, including moans or other signs of pleasure, is staged to look and sound good.

Amateur porn can be a little better, but it’s best not to base your behavior on porn.

Myth: Louder is sexier:

Fact: It’s possible to be too loud and sound fake or be distracting, which may be a turn-off for your partner (try to avoid these turn-offs for guys, too).

Quiet moans can be hot, too, especially if you’re moaning directly into your partner’s ear.

Myth: Pressure to moan will help.

Fact: Pressure and coercion aren’t part of good sex, great communication, or healthy relationships! You can ask your partner to moan more if it turns you on, but you shouldn’t push them to moan during sex if they’re not comfortable doing so.

Related: 9 turn ons for guys.

In fact, focusing on the negative can make your partner feel self-conscious or ashamed and make it less likely you’ll get what you want!

One tool you can use is encouragement. Let them know that you love how it sounds when they moan, that it turns you on or makes you wet, praise them as part of your D/s dynamic or say something else to encourage them to keep moaning.

Now you’ve got the 411 on moaning, including some tips to feel more comfortable and confident while moaning or to get your partner to moan more. Don’t be afraid to give them a try–or leave us a comment if we’ve missed anything!