Everyone masturbates differently: some use their hands, some use vibrators, some can simply rub their legs together and some like to hump a pillow. Whatever the case, you’ll discover how to hump a pillow and a few tweaks that can make it better in this in-depth guide.
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Pillow humping is, well, humping a pillow. So how can it be hard? It’s not (literally). You place a pillow between your legs and rock your hips to achieve the grinding sensation against your clitoris that so many women love. Often women start humping their pillow without even knowing what a clitoris is (no thanks to shoddy sex education); they just know that it feels good.
Women don’t always talk about masturbating, so you might not realize how common pillow humping is (it’s one of 14 powerful masturbation techniques we recommend, in fact!). If you’re worried that you’re weird or something is wrong with your style of masturbation, relax, it’s totally normal. On that note, we’ve got some tips to make humping a pillow feel better or for you to try if you’ve never done it before!
How to Hump a Pillow – Variations
While not difficult, there are a couple different variations or methods to pillow humping that can make it easier.
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1. Lie on it
Place the pillow you want to hump between your legs while you lie face down on the bed. You can grind against the pillow, but this position doesn’t leave much room for movement.
2. Folding a pillow
Folding a pillow before placing it between your legs creates a more solid surface, which may be easier to grind against. Try it with the crease up or down to determine which you like best. If you fold a pillow in half, you might be able to slip your favorite toy into the crease for penetration.
3. Stacked pillows
Many women enjoy stacking pillows – try two or three – then mounting the entire stack. This creates more density and spring to push back against, and you can try a different position (kneeling) versus on your back or front.
4. Dare to bare
Many women enjoy humping pillows through underwear. It adds a bit of friction, and can make for a nice change in sensation when compared with going underwear free.
5. Swap it out
Experiment with pillows of different shapes, sizes, and thicknesses. For example, a square pillow might feel different than a rectangular one. And a throw pillow often has a different texture than one intended for sleeping on. Body pillows are long and often more firm than standard pillows as well.
6. Hard or soft
Softer pillows have the benefit of enabling you to bounce on them more easily, while a pillow that’s more firm will provide more stability and pressure if that’s your thing when you hump it.
Sex Position Pillows
Position pillows made for sex, like those by Liberator, can also be awesome masturbating aids. The thicker memory foam holds its shape better than your standard bed pillow. Some shapes even have pockets for you to insert your favorite sex toy while you’re humping away.
Some even have a slit for a dildo, and you can place a small vibrator between the top of the pillow and your clitoris as you straddle it. Another pillow is designed specifically to hold your Hitachi vibrator or similar wand vibrator. You can use it during sex or grind against the pillow and toy during solo time.
Another pillow called the Pulse is a sex pillow that you can straddle with a toy or two inserted. Its rounded bottom allows you to rock back and forth, perfectly grinding against the surface.
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Sex Tips for Pillow Humpers
Sex with a partner doesn’t typically allow for you to hump a pillow; although, dry humping does. Discover tips for dry humping.
If you find that sex isn’t as enjoyable as pillow humping, it may be that you require clitoral stimulation for pleasure and orgasm. Humping something does that, but penetrative sex often misses the mark.
There are a couple of ways you can change things up in the bedroom to experience sensations similar to those you received from humping a pillow. The first is direct clitoral stimulation from a toy or your partner’s hands or mouth. If your lover is going down on you, you can even grind against their face at the point of orgasm, which is pretty close to humping!
Sitting on his face also puts you in a position to grind against his face. Learn more.
You can also directly hump your partner’s body. A thigh makes a perfect object to imitate the way you masturbate, so have your lover slip his between your legs and go to town! Some women even enjoy grinding against their partners’ tail bone for similar sensations.
Another option is to adjust your sex position so that your clitoris receives more attention during penetrative sex. The Coital Alignment Technique was specifically designed to achieve this. Your partner makes sure that his pelvis makes as much contact with your clitoris as possible.
Learn more about the Coital Alignment Technique here.
You can also adjust reverse cowgirl (more on that in this post) by having your man lift his leg and bend at the knee. This enables you to grind against his thigh while you’re fucking him. It’s basically the Thigh Tide position.
It might also help if he slides his fingers around the base of his cock when you’re on top in regular cowgirl position. Imagine Spock’s finger split in the “Live long and prosper” sign but with a penis in between the split. You can grind against his knuckles for added pleasure. You can see a demonstration here.
Moving Away From Pillows
While humping a pillow can be pleasurable, it’s certainly not the only way for a woman to masturbate. If you’re looking for other objects to hump, fear not. Your pillow isn’t the only option. Some women reach for a blanket, which they ball up between their legs. Stuffed animals are also a common item used by girls to masturbate. Most girls have access to them, and the sensations created are nearly identical to those of humping a pillow.
For those without a footboard, grinding against the corner of the mattress provides clitoral stimulation as well. If you lack a mattress with access to the corners, an ottoman or footstool can also work. A four-poster bed with a knob-type post provides a further option for grinding against, and this brings us to our last option: grinding against furniture. The arm of a chair or sofa may give you the pleasure that you’re seeking.
Of course, we would be remiss not to mention toys that offer clitoral stimulation. Smaller clitoral vibrators are many a woman’s best friend – and some of them can even be used during sex!
When You Want to Stop Pillow Humping
If you decide that you don’t want to rely on humping a pillow for pleasure anymore, you can learn to orgasm via other methods. You may need to decondition yourself from your previous style of masturbation, however. For starters, you need to stop humping pillows and start masturbating using other methods (your hands, a toy, the showerhead, etc.)
Check out this step-by-step guide on how to masturbate for women.
It might be hard for you to orgasm at first, and you may be frustrated and want to switch back to using a pillow. Don’t! Keep at it. Eventually, orgasms will come more easily from your new method of masturbation. Once you’ve retrained yourself, you can go back to humping a pillow from time to time.
A Couple Considerations
Sometimes women who masturbate by humping pillows are unsure whether they should show their partners. But pillow humping is not only a common way to masturbate, but it’s something that many people find sexy according to one Reddit thread. Men admit to doing it, too, in this thread.
One “side effect” of humping pillows is that your pillow can pick up your natural scent (wondering how to smell and taste good? Read this). Some women have a stronger odor than others, and while there’s nothing wrong with this, you may want to avoid sleeping on a pillow that has picked up this smell. Washing your pillows and linens frequently is one option, or you might reserve a pillow specifically for humping.
Whether you’re a long-time pillow humper or you’re new to it, these tips can help you boost your solo sex life. We also hope you’ll enjoy the advice about humping during sex so that you can enjoy partner sex as much as solo time!
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