Unlike some bedroom activities, a rim job is considered a little more off the beaten path. Plenty of people love to engage in this activity, but many people don’t. Stimulation in and around the anus can be erotic. It can make orgasms more intense or even bring you to orgasm without other stimulation and some people just can’t get enough of the taboo, calling it “the best thing in the entire world.” However, there is also an “ick” factor that prevents some people from ever considering how to give a rim job, so you won’t want to rush into rimming.
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What Is A Rim Job?
In layman’s terms, analingus is the licking of your partner’s asshole. A rim job is unlike wearing a butt plug (more about butt plugs) or inserting a penis or toy into your anus during anal masturbation (get tips and tricks). It’s more akin to having your partner run his finger around your puckered hole. There can be some penetration, especially with a longer tongue, but what a rim job is good for is external stimulation. The good news is that rim jobs can still be enjoyable even if you don’t want anal penetration.
Related: Why Do Guys Like Anal?
Both men and women enjoy giving and receiving rim jobs. In fact, you might find that this activity is particularly intimate, much like regular oral sex — more on that here. If you’ve never tried it before, you might bring it up to your partner by explaining that you saw it in porn or overheard your girlfriends talking about it. Even if you’re gung-ho about the idea of rimming, you might face some pretty stern rejection.
If you’re interested in going down on your lover’s ass, you might experience some reluctance, too. What is a rim job if not the perfect opportunity to show your lover how devoted you are? In fact, rim jobs work well with power-play relationships because of this. Check out this guide for being dominant.
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People typically shy away from the idea because they’re afraid of rimming involving fecal matter or a bad smell or taste. It’s true tthat this might be a reality if you don’t take the time to adequately prepare, but this doesn’t have to be the case. In fact, grabbing your partner for a lick right after the shower might make you both comfortable enough to try this new activity.
How to Prepare For A Rim Job
You’ll likely want to go the extra step when it comes to personal hygiene prior to a rim rob than when you have anal sex (tips for having anal). You’ll want to follow the same steps as with preparation for anal sex:
- Have defecated in the previous day or so to clear the anus
- Cleaned thoroughly with wet wipes or in the shower
However, you may want to take it one step further by performing an anal douche. This involves squirting a small amount of warm water into your anus to wash out any physical matter. Douching differs from an enema, which uses a much larger amount of water and device. In most cases, douching will be enough, and it can be done over the toilet in your bathroom.
If you’re on the giving end of a rim job, you may not be able to guarantee that your partner has properly cleaned. Understandably, this could be a turnoff. The human body can be a breeding ground for bad bacteria. Sharing this article with your lover can ensure you’re on the same page.
You can also go the extra step and use either a dental dam or plastic wrap as a barrier between your tongue and mouth and your partner’s body. A dental dam is a small piece of plastic that’s intended for single use, and you can find them in the section of a store that sells condoms. In a pinch, you can cut open a non-lubricated condom and use that as a barrier!
Finally, you may not feel fully prepared unless you shave. Both men and women tend to grow more hair around the anus than on their butt cheeks. Although, your man might have more hair to remove than you do. This is totally normal. Because you can’t see the area and there are curves there, it might be trickier. With one hand, you can hold your cheek to the side to allow room for your razor.
A smaller razor with less contouring is easier to fit in the area, and you should absolutely use a high-quality shaving cream such as Coochy. If you find that you experience irritation after shaving, the Coochy brand also makes aftershave sprays and powders to minimize chafing. For the especially sensitive, trimming can clean up the pubic and anal area without causing potential irritation.
Giving and Receiving A Rim Job
You might think that there’s no wrong way to be on the receiving end of a rim job, but this isn’t entirely true. If you’re uncomfortable with receiving or otherwise tense, which can even be a result of stress, someone’s tongue in and around your backside might feel pokey rather than pleasurable. Plenty of foreplay, mood music and lighting and the proper prep can set your mind at ease.
Once your partner is going to town, you can lie back and enjoy the sensation. You can also penetrate yourself with a sex toy (learn how intimate strap-on play can be) or stimulate your clit while your partner rims you. Make sure to use lube with toys to prevent anal pain. More on that.
Of course, you’ll have to do more if you’re providing the pleasure to your lover. Here are a couple techniques that will teach you how to give a rim job that will be remembered:
- Run your tongue in circular motions around your partner’s anus
- Dart your tongue into your partner’s anus
- Use large, flat licks up and down across the anus
- Lick with just the tip of your tongue
Don’t forget about the rest of your partner’s butt! You can gently chew or nibble, lick and kiss. And many people enjoy perineum stimulation – this is the spot between anus and testicles or vagina. You can lick there or if you’re busy rimming a man, can use your fingers to push against this spot for indirect prostate stimulation to take your game to a whole new level! Find tips like this in our post on anal fingering.
Related: How to Stimulate His Prostate
Rimming can be done while the receiver is on all fours, like doggie style — more info here. If you’re on your back, lifting your legs can also give your partner access to your rosebud. The anus also becomes accessible when you stand and your partner kneels behind you. Switch up positions to determine which one works best for you and your partner.
Get inspired with these anal sex positions.
The Reality of Rim Jobs
You might love rimming in the bedroom, but there are a few precautions to take. Never move from anus to penis or vagina as this can transfer bacteria and cause infection. The same is true for toys, which shouldn’t be used in other orifices after being used anally.
You and your partner may not want to kiss after a rim job, which is perfectly normal. However, using a barrier such as a dental dam might help if you’re squeamish. Then get to passionate kissing.
Farting is something that people naturally do from their rectum. Stimulation of the anus can cause air to be expressed, too. This is similar to when you queef because of sex, especially vigorous sex.
Of course, there’s always a chance of running into fecal matter. It’s less common with rimming, especially if you take time to clean beforehand, but the risk is still there. Rim jobs don’t come with the risk of pregnancy (and neither does anal sex) like other sexual activities.
Read More: Analingus Guide aka Rimming aka Tossing The Salad
Perhaps you’d rather focus on your own pleasure. Did you know you can have anal sex while pregnant?
You and your partner should have no problem learning how to give a rim job as long as you can communicative effectively and in a mature manner. If you’re not sure that a lover will be able to accomplish that, you might want to shelve the idea for a later date.
If either you or your partner isn’t into the idea of rimming, you’re not alone. For some people, it’s too risque, especially for those who are closed minded or sexually repressed. However, a giving sexual partner should at least consider options such as rim jobs before saying “No.”
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